457
458

If you have to force it then kill it +Talk to a LOT of women (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

I think one of the under spoken principles of TRP is that things should be as natural as possible.

Lately I've been promoting my business that I started and that's involved me talking to hundreds more people than I normally would, thus I strike up conversations with way more females than I ever would've otherwise.

Safe to say I've flirted with a few and got their numbers. Some successes other failures. But it's been extremely valuable experience because the more I talk to these girls the more I'm beginning to pick up on when I should bail or not.

I'm not sure if other guys on TRP have experienced this or not but when you read up enough on here and the sidebar and other resources and have some good success with it , it tends to give you a belief (initially) that you'll be successful with all women if you maneuver the situation right.

I had to learn this is false. Some girls just aren't into you and sensing this immediately is key to not wasting unnecessary time. I don't care if you're a famous rock star with a shitload of money and a six pack and the personality of Don Juan, SOME girl out there will turn you down. Might be for something completely out of your control like race, height, where you're from, or even your fucking Zodiac sign (see: bitches are crazy).

I learned this because some girls I'd talk to and feel like I "did everything right" then ask myself why didn't it work? And I had to realize she just didn't like me and be okay with that. I also had to understand that just because I didn't fuck her doesn't mean I "fucked up".

Sounds simple but I think as men we tend to take rejection personally because we're a results-oriented species by nature.

For the ones that do like me, though, it's easy. Yes you still need to employ TRP strategy so you don't botch it after you get your foot in the door but it doesn't feel like you're "forcing" it.

The basic principle really is this: If a female likes you, she'll respond. If she likes you then she'll make time to go out and if she doesn't have any then she'll clear some. If she likes you or you've captured her interest then it really should feel like a "flow".

I've just noticed with girls I do fuck it seems like there's a strong natural chemistry from the start. Both of us smiling in initial conversations, texts are easy and I'm not really thinking about how to respond etc.

So I've decided to live my life by a new principle:

If it doesn't feel easy or natural then I abandon it.

Part 2.

Talk to a LOT of girls

I've also learned that talking to a LOT of girls just helps in general. I've received a lot of "no's" I won't even lie. I'm still in the midst of my self improvement journey but I don't want to be a recluse until I get "there" so I've just been talking to girls as practice almost. If I fuck, great. If not, whatever.

In the beginning the "no" would hurt. I won't lie. Sometimes I'd over analyze it, think about what I was wearing, how I approached or whatever. Now I don't care. I think another thing that helps is that I'm promoting my business so I have to deal with a lot of rejection in the professional world too. Just how shit works.

Maybe I've said this before but I had a couple really close friends in college that used to get ass like it was running out of style. I'm talking 5-7 girls a week. All cute ones. One day my friend noticed I had a couple girls over consistently but never made my move and he asked me "what are you waiting for?" I told him I didn't wanna fuck it up and he told me "Bro it doesn't matter. I'll respect you regardless. These other guys (my roommates) can't talk shit because they don't even try to talk to girls. Even if she gets up and runs out the room screaming it doesn't matter man."

Then I said "That's easy for you to say, you get a ton of bitches all the time." And that's when he put me on to the truth when he said "Man I get no's all the time too. You guys just see the girls I bring back." I started paying attention and he was right. We'd be at parties and girls would say no for a variety of reasons to him sometimes. There were girls he brought back that he didn't fuck. Some girls he'd show me he was talking to that stopped texting him back.

This is just how the game works. No matter how much money you make, how sexy you think you can get, how much TRP strategy you read, or hours you spend in the gym there are gonna be bitches who tell you no. A lot probably. There's no shame in it.

ALSO:

The "no's" don't just come in the form of a girl saying no. Sometimes you have to make the no. This is really crucial to living a stress free life with women I swear.

Never tolerate a woman's bullshit for the sake of pussy. Women 10000% know when men do this and they'll absolutely take advantage.

If she's an insufferable bitch or extremely childish and annoying then just cut her off. Even if she likes you and is throwing the pussy. It's not worth it.

She doesn't have to be perfect because women are far from it but the last thing she should be doing is actually irritating you and causing undue stress. Don't "put up" with anything. ANYTHING. You're better than that. All you're doing is reinforcing the concept in your head of "Pussy means so much to me that I'm willing to compromise my peace of mind and core values to have it."

No self respecting man should ever carry himself that way. Be willing to walk away from a NICE piece of ass if need be. Sure it'll hurt. You'll get horny as think "damn if Sarah were here with her big tiddies" and you may even be tempted to call her just to have her come over and deal with her shenanigans after. Never worth it bro's. You'll feel way better about yourself as a man if you hold this standard and you'll realize your level of stress w women will go WAY down and their respect will go WAY up.


[–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (10 children)

This is the whole strategy with self improvement. When you were fat and before you started lifting, maybe 3% of the female population would want you. After you improve yourself as best you can, that number rises. That's the whole point of TRP. You're increasing the chance more girls will find you valuable. It does not mean that every girl will want you. That is why it's so essential to be eccentric in your own way, because you're never going to appeal to 100% of them.

[–]Enlightened_Chimp 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Something that helps me with this is keeping in contact with the girls that do like me. Even if I'm not plating them at the moment we'll still talk over snapchat, facebook, etc.. every once in a while. I move around a lot, so whenever we both end up in the same city again we meet up and boom, laid. It's a nice way to keep international abundance and then you don't care as much about rejection since you still have all these girls you know reaching out to you all the time and you know it won't be long until you see one again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That's solid. The time I realized that there are certain types of girls that dig me and there are certain types that just don't, things changed a lot for me. It's acceptance that some girls just don't like you. You're not what they're looking for. The ones that do, though, are why we are in the game. The chase is exciting and a challenge, but with so many avenues to focus on in life, girls who need to be won over just ain't worth it.

[–]Enlightened_Chimp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. Much better to focus on yourself and put in the effort with the ones who are interested.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (13 children)

Best thing I ever did was challenging myself to 5x5 for the whole summer:

I talked to 5 girls/day and went for the close (number, date, etc) by the 5th exchange. It was super rough at first, but honestly 2 weeks in I was killing it.

I've just noticed with girls I do fuck it seems like there's a strong natural chemistry from the start.

This is so amazingly true. Eventually i could tell who was going to text back, and who's i was going to fuck basically right off the bat.

Best thing I ever did.

[–]UncleSniffy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

wow I love that idea, I'm totally gonna use that.

[–]ChadThundercockII 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mark Fucktoe 5x5 approach to getting bitches---- for beginners

[–]temerarious 2 points3 points  (7 children)

What do you mean by the 5th exchange?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He fucks every fifth woman he sees, and tries to cum by the fifth stroke

[–]CumForJesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He talks to five women, and try to get the number of the fifth.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your 5th turn to speak in a conversation.

You learn to skip "hi" and go straight to mid-conversation ("Man, Union Street is crazy today, right?") and then escalate fast from there.

[–]bacheloritis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the 5th exchange of pleasantries on the 5th hour of the day.

[–]RealRational 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Yeah, it should flow naturally. No amount of game matters if the chemistry isn't there. Sadly this means the higher quality you are the fewer your options, since most will fall too far below your level.

I can only imagine most guys have no standards at all, based on the looks of the girls my friends have brought home. No wonder girls think it's ok to have 38% body fat. My 6'4" buff friend who's a regional manager keeps fucking them, why work out or eat right when you're getting fucked by that guy? They won't.

Guys need to raise their standards to improve the market. By a LOT.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

guys go for what's easy. were a lazy bunch. we don't want to put the work in

[–]RealRational 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would be the difference between a guy and a man.

[–]RedPharaohRising 26 points27 points  (38 children)

So for a lot of guys on here, myself included, we're often anxious or depressed and can't tell if it doesn't seem natural because it's NOT or it feels unnatural because we're not used to this.
What has helped you with this (or you think might help)?

And how/where do you promote your business in a way that lets you meet girls? At best, I could go to the mall for approaches, but I work, and I don't have that kind of time anymore.

[–]TRPBackpacker points points [recovered]

All business have women. Receptionist for one.

But it is a mindset. Once you are in business, you start to talk to people and eventually you talk to everyone unless you have important paperwork to do. Cause it is just time better spent other than waiting in line and do nothing.

Long line waiting for lunch? Make eye contact with the person beside you, comment on the long line.

Some drug addict going crazy? Make fun of it with the other bystander watching it.

Grocery shopping and someone blocks the thing you want ti get? Point out the obvious situation of having too many choices.

  1. Eye contact
  2. Comment on the absurdity of the situation.

Principles of small talk. From here, extend the talk and keep it to 1 minute. You are just having a bice chat about the weather, if the person fo not rrmespond, have the attitude that s/he is a weird introvert who don't have any interpersobal skills Practice this enough and you don't have to pretend, they Are the introverted socially awkward ines.

From here on, move to day game.

[–]RedPharaohRising 44 points45 points  (1 child)

have the attitude that s/he is a weird introvert who don't have any interpersobal skills Practice this enough and you don't have to pretend, they Are the introverted socially awkward ines.

Honestly, I need to do this. Instead, after every encounter I wonder if something's wrong with me. Fuck them, I made the effort. If they're not interested, that's on them to be more engaging or more interesting. Not me. I need to shut my damn empathy off for a change.

[–]nizari 9 points10 points  (1 child)

1) I work, and I don't have that kind of time anymore.

2) All business have women. Receptionist for one.

Don't shit where you eat. Don't get involved with any chick from work.

[–]J-Mosc 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This is where I seem to get stuck so often. I have difficulty transitioning from small talk to asking her out or for her number. I'm not sure how to naturally move from a random subject speaking to her for less than a minute, to hitting on her. When I go over it in my head, the words don't seem natural.

[–]hpsiequalsepsi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What your body language says > the words you say

[–]ikntspeel 13 points14 points  (5 children)

Wow, this post literally sums up what I've been thinking for the past few days. I'm currently traveling and this has caused me to meet tons of new people. Because I've been meeting girls from all over the world, I literally have no idea what the "right" way of approaching them is - so I'd just walk up to them and say hi. It's extremely simple, and it's very easy to strike up a conversation with foreign girls (assuming they speak English) because you're probably foreign to them too. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that the biggest cockblock you have is your brain. If you're anxious, it means you're thinking too much. If youre interested in someone, that's enough of a reason to go up to them and talk to them. After that, whatever happens happens. Don't think, just act and react. I could be wrong, and maybe I'm just getting lucky. But if it's working for me, I'm not fixing it. Good luck out there gents. It's a cruel world out there :)

[–]RedPharaohRising 2 points3 points  (4 children)

IDK man. Often I'm wondering well this IS the gym/the Library. Should I be trying to meet girls here? Is this a socially savvy thing to do?

[–]Vengapoon 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Socially savvy doesn't mean shit, I got my first handjob in a study room at a library from a girl I met there that day.

Maybe it is a little strange that you're hitting on a chick at a library, but you know what? If you can get over that, then it may be the easiest place to do it. See a girl looking at a book by Edgar Allan Poe? Boom! Instant conversion starter. All of a sudden your day spent checking out self help books just turned into a exhibitionist's wet dream.

The point is, if you can get over the stigma and roll with it, she's not gonna care if you're at church

[–]RedPharaohRising 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, great idea. I'll save this

[–]ikntspeel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Perhaps not. But what do you have to lose? I doubt you'll ever build up a rep as "the creepy guy who hits on girls in a library". And if you do, find a different library

[–]F0rever_Fascinated 8 points9 points  (12 children)

Look up AB Testing. I took that to an extreme level in high school and very much embarrassed myself to learn the fundamentals of male/female interactions. Basically trying things multiple different ways and slowly developing a feel for my own style.

You've inspired me to write a post. Check my account maybe in an hour.

[–]RedPharaohRising 4 points5 points  (11 children)

I know what AB Testing is, I wish I'd done it then. Thing is, when I was in college I had an environment of tons of randoms. I no longer have that kind of no-consequence place to make mistakes.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (9 children)

This is the reason I'm moving to a big city. Having literally thousands of random girls, most of which I'll never see again makes me fearless, in a sense. I can say stupid things, be awkward, get rejected and it doesn't matter even slightly. In smaller circles, the stakes seem much higher.

[–]smirk_addict 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Same. I approach when I can. But it's hard to have abundance mentality when you don't have an abundance of women to talk to. I probably approach in a month what some guys approach in a day.

[–]RedPharaohRising 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Exactly. How do you get abundance in the first place? I think I need a social group tbh. Join salsa or something.

In school, I was doing 2-5 a day through daygame. Some went really well, some went poorly. But it got easier because no stakes. I wish I'd known all that sooner. I was depressed for so long that it was so damn mentally hard to do it at all. And yet, the days with amazing interactions were days I already felt great, and they made me feel even better.

[–]smirk_addict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you. Even if you have a niche group, it's only a matter of time before you exhaust your options with that. And a few hard blow outs with that and you're known as the guy that hits on all the women.

[–]wiseprogressivethink 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Imagine living in a small town of a few thousand people, only 20% of which are single adult women, and everyone knows everyone...

[–]smirk_addict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have to imagine my man. I can relate. There is a post someone made a while back that maybe resonates with you. I'll PM you. Couldn't put the link in the comments.

[–]lancer000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before I was on the pill, it was the amount I would approach in my lifetime...

[–]RedPharaohRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fortunately, my career puts me in a kinda big-city-ish place. Also means it's hard to move out. But yeah I'll probably find some cute girls here and there. Malls? Libraries?

[–]F0rever_Fascinated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I posted (2 days late), although it took longer than expected. Might give you a few ideas on no-consequence mistakes.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Think of interactions with men that you have just met. You should be able to categorize them into forced and natural. If all are forced, you need to work on somethings. If all interactions are forced, you might be anxious and over thinking like I was. The best solution is to get work where you have to deal with people face to face.

This forced/natural dichotomy applies to women as well. Some conversations have to be forced and other just flow naturally. OP and I agree that you should only chase women who's interactions with you flow naturally. Otherwise it's like trying to make a friendship with a guy with whom every interaction is forced

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro -4 points-3 points  (8 children)

So for a lot of guys on here, myself included, we're often anxious or depressed

Because you DO NOT LIFT AT ALL and EAT SHITTY FOOD EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.

You're losers BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE.

Fucking 15 upvotes. Top upvoted comment. "OMG, we're so poor that thinking about getting rich feels UNNATURAL". You whiny, lousy piece of shit, GTFO to parent's basement.

[–]RedPharaohRising 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I'm lifting, yes I am. Actually, I cook on my own, and have been, for years.
Look, dude, I don't know how this is done, and I'm not making excuses - I just want to know if anyone has been in my position and what they did.
I don't know what it's like to be successful with women, so any sane person would ask "Is this how it's supposed to be like?"

Now can you give me some useful advice, or is this as far as your rope goes?
I'm trusting in your three deltas.

[–]brettfromtibet 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Redpharoahrising,

If a girl likes you it will seem easy and Natural. you won't have to try so hard, the texting / conversation will flow naturally, she will be "nice" and not bitchy or hard to deal with. She won't make excuses or ignore you, she'll seem agreeable and eager more than hesitant / distant / difficult... which you'll get a lot of at first.

I was skinnyfat and it took me a year of lifting and approaching to beccome attractive and confident enough that things started going well (sometimes) and I got taken more seriously. It was a lot of hard work.

Summary: it took me a year of SOLID redpill lifestyle (working out and approaching on the Regular, disciplined basis) before I was able to know the difference between a good flow and a bad one. and not to worry about the bad ones much.

[–]RedPharaohRising 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great. I'll set myself a year before I look for 'progress markers'. I've had a lot over 3 months of sustained daygame last year.

[–]Hadoukenz 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Dude take a chill pill, why is someone's comment getting you wound up

[–]JFMX1996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because he feels like a big man behind his keyboard. Chuckle and move on.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Hmmm maybe because knowledge to improve yourself is out there in the sidebar since a few years? Or maybe because evidence it works has been proven numerous times on this sub? Maybe both? What do you think, chill pill? Maybe I should sedate myself with some porn sweets and vidya, hmmm?

[–]Sartyrh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still in the anger phase. Back to the sidebar for you.

[–]Bandos15 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Some have strong bitchshields or shittest hard, dont immediatly assume they are not interested

[–]DeadShot91 18 points19 points  (0 children)

True but if her shenanigans persist longer than you care for, NEXT

[–]wiseprogressivethink 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I've broken through a few bitch-shields before, but to be honest, it's never garnered any long-term fruit. Not worth the effort, in my experience. If she's a bitch, abort and move on.

[–]FruitSalad1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her resolve will soon crack once you start getting along with her friends. Often they resent her "if they're not good enough for me they're not good enough for any of my friends" - mentality. With good social skills you can exploit this and isolate them (divide and conquer). She's the alpha female and alpha males crush alpha females.

Dating is like any form of business market you have to decide if what they offer is worth the cost (i.e your energy and effort). Some girls will price themselves too high, some will price themselves according to what's immediately on offer e.g. genetics/fitness. The sexual market place is like any other market and functions on supply and demand as long as females remain more scarce then most men will by "buying". It's up to you to get yourself to the point where you're no longer a buyer but a seller or better yet a market maker.

[–]Gearski 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I had a realization like that with a girl the other week, you could drive yourself insane trying to figure out where you "fucked it up", some girls just won't be interested, some just love the attention and will string you along for as long as you let them.

[–]wiseprogressivethink 3 points4 points  (1 child)

some girls just won't be interested, some just love the attention and will string you along for as long as you let them.

This is an important lesson.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its a numbers game for sure

[–]RealityBitesU 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You were flirting while promoting your new business?

Nice. Definitely alpha.

[–]brettfromtibet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post! I have finally improved my physique & confidence from below average to OK and I have gone from being in poverty / scarcity of interested women to cycles of having multiple options on hand. Some are easy and fun to deal with others are a MASSIVE headache. I just shut them down quick and move on- I have too much self/respect to deal with unnecessary headaches.

[–]NoCages_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup agreed. Just relax, if you vibe with her you can tell. You can work a little to get someone to open up at the beginning, get them talking and more comfortable, but if it feels like the conversation is stuck in the mud... Just say fuck it. Remember though: even if it's goin well, feels natural, EVEN IF YOU FUCK HER...girls can still change up on you in a split. You might even see her with another dude right after you have bomb sex. She might stop texting u outa nowhere. Just stay strong and move along.

[–]DiggerClam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be attractive, don't be unattractive & talk to women. Sexually AVAILABLE women will fuck you.

[–]Josewasframed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you guys like rap/hip hop, listen to the song Cut Her Off by K Camp. By no means is it an amazing song, but it has a resounding message with this post. Essentially, as soon as the girl gives you trouble, move on.

Good write up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your fifth turn to speak with that individual woman.

[–]gradchad points points [recovered]

I understand the whole "taking a no" thing, but what bothers me is that bitches who say no to me would throw away their panties when some drug-dealer flashes dope, or she sucked off 10 dudes in college, and cunt thinks she's better than me, an engineer, literally a guy shaping up the world. And that's why I find all of them pathetic.

[–]J_H_Thundercock 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I see where you are coming from, but you have to stop being angry at girls, they don't control what makes their pussies tingle. You have to stop doing what you think they find attractive and what society looks at as attractive and look at their actions to see what they find attractive. I'm not saying you should become a drugdealer, but you should maybe adopt some of his alpha tendencies.

You may find them pathetic, but how is that helping you right now?

They don't control their attraction, therefore it's not their fault if they don't like you. It's yours.

[–]mrfunnyman21 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I never considered myself blue pill and I don't think I want to swallow the red pill either. But thank you for this, I really needed to hear this now based off some relative that happened recently.