Red Pill TheorySix Ways to Make People Like You (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by NaturalSelect1on

This post is a summary of the second part of the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

A few notes: As mentioned in the comments, this book was not written with sexual strategy in mind. It was written mainly as a tool you can use on general social communication. It works wonders in business and networking. Some of these principles can for sure be used to get laid but not all of them exactly as described. If we can think out of the box, most of these principles can be applied in a red pill logic too. It's all about giving people what the seek in order to influence them, and this book focuses on that.

Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You

1.\tBecome genuinely interested in other people.

“Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere”

When you become interested in other people they instantly like you. That is because people only think about themselves all the time. They don’t care about you or anyone else, when they interact with you, they just wait for the moment to start talking about themselves and their lives. So, the best thing you can do is be interested in what they’re doing and thinking. Think about the people you like the most, aren’t they the ones who were interested in you? Did you like the ones who kept talking only about themselves? In addition, say “hello” and greet people with enthusiasm, it is one of the easiest ways to show interest and excitement when you meet people.

If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”


“A simple way to make a good first impression.”

Smiling is one of the most effective ways to tell other people that you are actually glad to see them. Smiling is so strong that it can be communicated even through the phone, as our voice and the way we talk changes. In addition, it is very important that our smile is genuine, fake smiles can be easily detected and have a negative impact to the person we’re talking too. If you’re not used to smiling, try to change your mood, think of more positive things, be happy for what you already have. People seek happiness in their lives, if you convey happiness (you smile) then people will gladly follow and talk to you.

“Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless – that there is joy in the world.”

3.\tRemember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

“If you don’t do this, you are headed for trouble.”

Calling a person by their name makes that person feel important. Competent managers remember all of their employees’ names, they know it is a crucial factor to good leadership.

Jim Farley who became chairman of the Democratic National Committee and Postmaster General of the United States, when asked what was his secret to success, he said that he remembers 50.000 people by their first name. Every time he met a new person it didn’t matter if it was the president or a simple worker, he would ask for his/her name and remember it.

“We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing and nobody else. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.”

4.\tBe a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

“An easy way to become a good conversationalist.”

When Carnegie attended at a party, he was approached by a woman asking him to tell her about his travels across Europe. After a bit of talk, she remarked that she has been recently into Africa with her husband. After hearing that, Carnegie asked her how her experience had been. The rest of the conversation went on about her trip and she never asked about his travels. All that woman wanted was a listener, someone to tell about her experiences, she didn’t want to learn about Carnegies’ trip to Europe.

When Carnegie attended at a party, he had a long conversation with a botanist. Even though Carnegie had little knowledge about botany, he was clearly interested to what the man had to say, so he listened intently. When the party ended, the botanist said to the host that Carnegie was “the most interesting conversationalist”, even though Carnegie had hardly said anything in that conversation, all he did is to listen and encourage the man to talk.

When you’re in a conversation, aim to do 75% listening and 25% talking, try to find what are the interests of the other person, then encourage them to talk about themselves.

“Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person's toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one's neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.”

5.\tTalk in terms of the other person’s interests

“How to interest people”

Theodore Roosevelt was known for his diverse range of knowledge he had. Everybody who visited him, whether it was a politician, a cowboy or a doctor he knew how to engage the problem and what to say. But how did he do it? He would simply read about the visitor’s interests the night before, so he knew about the subject the person was interested in.

As he said, “the royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.”

The previous principle told us that people love to talk about themselves. This principle tells us that the next best thing to talk about is about the other person’s interests. People love good listeners, but they love even more listeners who are knowledgeable about the things they’re interested in.

6.\tMake the other person feel important – and do it sincerely

“How to make people like you instantly”

People grieve for approval, recognition, to feel important. How many times we’ve seen people that feel underappreciated by their boss, the society and their loved ones in general?

You can change a person’s mood by giving him a genuine compliment or praise him for something. Whenever you meet a person ask yourself “What is there about him that I can honestly admire?” “What makes this person unique?” it is not easy, but if you try hard enough there is surely something you can find!

One day Carnegie was at the post office. He saw a clerk who looked bored and unhappy. He noticed his nice hair and said: “I certainly wish I had your head of hair.” The man responded with enthusiasm “Well, it isn’t as good as it used to be”. Carnegie assured him that although it might have lost some of its pristine glory, nevertheless it was still magnificent. The pleasant conversation lasted a little more.

That man completely changed his mood by hearing a simple compliment, that made his day. “If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can't radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return - if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.”

In a Nutshell - Six Ways to Make People Like You

  • Principle 1 - Become genuinely interested in other people.
  • Principle 2 - Smile.
  • Principle 3 - Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  • Principle 4 - Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  • Principle 5 - Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
  • Principle 6 - Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

Check out my Android App containing similar summaries of self-help books.\t

EDIT: added a paragraph

[–]Banincoming 91 points92 points  (3 children)

Way 7: "I'll fuck you til you love me faggot!" - Mike Tyson

[–]yomo86 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The iron fists of love. Never cease to amaze me.

[–]jackandjill22 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bro, he got curved in the 80's by Naomi Campbell. Stories legendary AF.

[–]Zchavago 88 points89 points  (19 children)

It's hard to stay interested in other people when they show no reciprocal interest in you.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (11 children)

Think about the most charismatic people that you know. The guy who can walk into a bar and within 10 minutes everyone is friends with them. Think of all of your conversations with this person and when you have watched other people talk to them. They don't care about talking about themselves, they mostly just ask other people questions and are genuinely interested in what that person has to say.

[–]laere 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Damn thats my dad in a nutshell. I should hang out with my dad more. FUCK.

[–]insoucianc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do it bro. Getting good at this skill also GREATLY improves your confidence because you'll get so used to charming people that you will start assuming a room of people will love you before you even walk in.

[–]Cypher211 11 points12 points  (1 child)

If you can't make people reciprocate then it generally means you just aren't charasmatic enough. There are very few exceptions to this.

[–]twatbutters 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bingo. Show genuine interest and be amicable-- 95% time you'll have this reciprocated in some way.

[–]Vajesticles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. I've also realized lately as well that no matter how physically attractive a woman may be, if she's so stuck in her own head that all she does is talk at you and not to you it very quickly becomes a huge turn off. It makes me think she's just used to and craves the attention of being listened to while showing no intention in actually giving her time and interest in anyone else but herself. It makes me lose interest fast and I also just take it as a que that this girl has a low level of attraction to me.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 143 points144 points  (32 children)

These are good strategies for male relationships. These do not work for getting laid.

That really should be stated somewhere in the OP.

[–]Physio_Tool 74 points75 points  (7 children)

not so, have charisma and social connections will yield genuine power and smv more so then some pickup line

[–]twatbutters 5 points6 points  (4 children)

While true, charisma is the icing on the cake. Let's not beat around the bush-- looks are king when it comes to attraction. If you're overweight or scrawny, you'll never have the same magnitude of attraction as a guy who is fit and lifts.

[–]dcBananas 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I still feel social connections are of more importance than anything. You can't fuck a girl at a party you weren't invited to. The hottest girls don't go to public access bars/clubs.

[–]1egoisenemy 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I would disagree, looks matter way more for men's preferences but way less for women; obviously it's a gradient and not black and white. It doesn't mean you can look like utter shit and expect to get laid, but good game is about charisma that gets women wet, not an overemphasis on looks.

[–]twatbutters 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Spoken like a true fat guy

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (7 children)

Not everything is about getting laid, Champ.

[–]ThouArtNaught 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Freud just turned in his grave.

[–]bluedrygrass 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Because freud was a sexual maniac that saw everything as based on sex, and wanted to fuck his mother and kill his father. But not everything is based on sex, even tho many losers love that excuse for their thoughts.

[–]insoucianc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, everything IS based on sex or its repercussion, namely power.

[–]mighthavepenis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He tried to but his erection is eternal.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're talking about Sigmund Freud... I'm assuming, the father of Psycho-analysis in regards to Psychology.

[–]enkae7317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right. It's about getting bitches.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, that's why I posted what I did.

[–]FocusOnYourGoals points points [recovered]

It works in social circle game. Many times you'll befriend fatties and ugly girls you would never fuck in a social circle. It's not a good idea to dismiss them.

If you apply these principles to those women, they'll end up really liking you. Then when you meet their friends, you'll already have social approval.

A friend of mine got laid several times with different girls because he maintained a friendship with 2 women he knew from high school.

All he has to do is listen to their bullshit ranting and be a good listener the few times they talk.

In turn, they invite him over to dinner parties, they introduce him to their friends there, they let him crash at their place, they invite him to parties, etc.

[–]textualintercourse 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Back in the single scene day, I never approach the hot one of the group. Period. I would always talk with 2nd or 3rd place.

In fact I systematically made it a point to ignore and avoid. At some point without fail, she would always try to get attention from me.

[–]HappyMexican 39 points40 points  (3 children)

True. This advice is not given enough here. So much focus on getting laid and anti-feminism. I could list a long list of why, but I am gonna just say this.

Being a popular, caring, genuinely cool dude most everyone likes (Coworkers, friends, family and others!) > Getting laid by super hot women, but being a dick no one likes.

It's like being Chris Pratt vs Justin Bieber

[–]Aesteic 9 points10 points  (1 child)

If that popular, cool guy doesn't bang any of the super hot women, I'm not too sure I'd prefer that then.

[–]Burlaczech 10 points11 points  (0 children)

only siths deal in absolutes!

[–]Yankee_Fever 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I'd rather introduce myself to a hot girl. Being seen hanging out with fat chicks lowers your smv

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Are you kidding these tips 100 percent work on women, if not even more so then men. They are brilliant tips.

This is a sure way to increase smv

[–]MisterRoid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's always a bad idea to listen to a woman's problems, since you want to make her feel good and forget about them. But I think that the point is to get many male friends to increase one's success and in turn one's SMV.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being genuinely interested in what a woman has to say and figuring out what she is passionate about and getting her to talk about it is great advice. Obviously you still need to lead the interaction, tease escalate, and guide the conversation, but this is all great advice.

Being a good listener is great advice and a rarer skill than most people think. It means good eye contact and putting every thought and judgement out of your head. No worrying about what you are going to say after they are done talking. When the other person finishes speaking, then take a moment to think of a reply. This leads to much more fluid and enjoyable conversions and also works well with women, because you aren't trying too hard and worrying over what to say.

[–]aanarchist 53 points54 points  (2 children)

do this more with men than with women. making a woman's interest the center of your attention is a sure fire way to get beta friended.

[–]BoobToArmRatio 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well, doing those things alone during a pickup would not get you very far at all, but letting the girl talk and listening carefully can help build rapport. You just need to steer the conversation in the right direction, use kino, and escalate.

But hey, I'm sure everyone on here already knows that :)

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I already do all this and didn't realize it. Though I do have a serious/high/sad looking face when I talk to nobody.

But I do agree with this post. I'm giving you an upvote

[–]BoobToArmRatio 19 points20 points  (3 children)

All good points. Don't forget one other important one: "Be attractive. Don't be unattractive."

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That's complete Bullshit when it comes to making friends - looks do not matter

[–]twatbutters 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes and no. Being attractive has an effect on platonic relationships/ the amount of respect you get from other men-- this works on a subconscious level a lot of the time. It's also nice to be friends with people who share your interests (work out, in school with you, etc.), because they can reinforce your positive habits. I have two very good friends in the gym who I always work out with, and I doubt that I'd be such good friends with them if I didn't display a commitment to fitness. I have beta friends too, but I cannot relate to them as well as people who are more similar to me.

[–]WhiskeyAndCondoms 3 points4 points  (1 child)

These behaviors/strategies are definitely very useful when talking to another man or when keeping a strictly professional relationship with a woman(or if you're just not attracted to her)
If you follow the behaviors outlined in this post with a man you'll end up becoming a good friend, very valued and thus also respected. When following these while trying to pick up a girl you'll end up becoming an orbiter in her eyes because you'll listen to anything she says, become invested in whatever problems she wants to unload on you and quite literally put her on the pedestal by making her more important than you.
If I had to outline some things that are missing or that you should do when picking up chicks it'd be something like this:

  • Tease her, don't downright insult her but playfully make fun of her at times.
  • Enforce boundaries. You don't have to listen to her problems or deal with her shit if you don't want to and I doubt you do.
  • Pass her shit tests. I could outline a hundred different strategies here but I'm just gonna say the following: You don't have to give a fuck about her or her childish games. Even if the girl that you're talking to in that moment isn't attracted to you there's plenty more that are. With that mindset it should be easy to not take her tests too serious.
  • Escalate. Obviously physically but also in conversation. Expecting someone to go from small talk to taking their pants off is pretty This.
    If you follow the behaviors outlined in this post with a man you'll end up becoming a good friend, very valued and thus also respected. When following these while trying to pick up a girl you'll end up becoming an orbiter in her eyes because you'll listen to anything she says, become invested in whatever problems she wants to unload on you and quite literally put her on the pedestal by making her more important than you.
    If I had to outline some things that are missing or that you should do when picking up chicks it'd be something like this:

  • Tease her, don't downright insult her but playfully make fun of her at times.

  • Enforce boundaries. You don't have to listen to her problems or deal with her shit if you don't want to and I doubt you do.

  • Pass her shit tests. I could outline a hundred different strategies here but I'm just gonna say the following: You don't have to give a fuck about her or her childish games. Even if the girl that you're talking to in that moment isn't attracted to you there's plenty more that are. With that mindset it should be easy to not take her tests too serious.

  • Escalate. Obviously physically but also in conversation. Expecting someone to go from small talk after having only shook their hand to taking their pants off is obviously quite unrealistic. Except when you're talking to a hooker of course.
    And even then your general SMV and your social connections are also extremely important.

[–]projects_dude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who read this book in my teen years(almost two decades ago). I will say one thing that's missing reflecting back on these principles.

At some point you have to work on yourself that you become the type of person someone else wants to apply these principles on.

If you were around your favorite athlete would you not almost unconsciously be applying these techniques?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Seeking validation from women by making them the center of attention and listening to all their problems is sure to work out in your favor. Surely. Any day now she'll realize what a kind, genuine and selfless person you are and stop fawning over the guy who commanded the attention of everyone in the room from the moment he walked through the door.

The person who does this is forgettable. You don't want to be forgettable, you want to be legendary. No one ever became legendary by sitting quietly and nodding politely.

[–]greatslyfer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Surely there's a middle ground nah?

Like be interested in them, make them feel like you actually care about them lol, and then still command presence in the room by talking to others and be that guy that people wanna talk to and respect for the way he carries himself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can't have it both ways. You have to be discerning about who you give your attention to and if you choose wisely you can't afford to be seen as passive. Typically people that like to run their suck about themselves aren't looked upon favorably by others anyway, so you really needn't spend your time listening to them drone on about nothing. Powerful people want to know who they are dealing with so they will engage you, if they deem you important enough to do so, so they can get a feel for who you are. If you aren't important (if you're unimpressive) they'll pass you on to someone else to deal with you in their stead.

Far more important than how you talk to people is who you talk to. Obviously you won't talk over your boss, but your boss needs to know you're fucking there or else you're just part of the background.

[–]ForgedInProdigy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember that the author stresses multiple times in the book that these techniques will not work if you are not genuine and act in a half-hearted matter. The words 'influence' and 'winning' in the title are easily misunderstood. Think more in line with making a situation a win-win for all parties, it's not about manipulating people to do your biddings. Look at the words used in the principles; 'sincerely, 'genuinely', 'honest'. Nowhere does it say that you have to befriend or force yourself to deal with someone you dislike out of agreeableness... now that's real bullshit.

Also it's true that the book wasn't exactly aimed at picking up women, but I can say that I've had really great feminine encounters from networks that I created thanks to the appropriate usage of these principles. Anyways, pick up what you think might be handy, add it to your toolkit and see how it works out for you. If you do day game, why not indirectly open doors as well by expanding your network?

[–]carlosacifuen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People think this a beta concept. It really isn't. It's a confidence booster knowing that people want you around. You get what you give honestly. It's not easy but I've done it before and it was an awesome feeling having confidence to not give a flying fuck and talk to anyone

[–]FakeGuru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell me what would happen if your favourite nerd did all of this.

He would become a friendly nerd.

He might meet his female equivalent.

But, that is probably not what he is looking for.

What he wants (but might not know it) is to change at a fundamental level.

So, his life history of being weak, bullied and rejected is altered.

So, that he does what he wants instead of being constrained by his own mental limitations.

Can that happen - of course it can!

One way is to have a life changing experience where circumstances force him to throw off his chains.

Another is by steadily increasing physical and mental strength so that old weak person is left behind.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What The Fuck Is going on in this thread?

This is for making friends and getting along well with people. We already know what women respond to and it's not this - that's not what he is saying. For making friends this is really well explained.

Become genuinely interested in other people will make you well liked in social circles and give you access to more women and male friends.

[–]Hardstyle_Shuffle 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Don't bother with trying to make other people like you, don't seek validation from anyone

[–]NaturalSelect1on[S] 36 points37 points  (2 children)

I do agree that we shouldn't be bothered if somebody doesn't like us. We don't owe anyone anything. But that's something that we keep for ourselves and our personal relationships.

If you wanna succeed in business what matters most is to be likable. You can be the most skilled worker - sell the best product, but if nobody "likes" you you won't get very far unfortunately.

[–]GEN_GOTHMOG 5 points6 points  (1 child)

In many cases don't care what people think, just act like you do.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that's a toxic, see-through, and frankly bullshit perspective to approach social interaction from. Caring about what people think does not mean vulnerability or insecurity. If that's where it's coming from for someone, then yeah they gotta kick that shit to the curb. You can be interested in people without it being about dependence, just about the fact that you're a human and you have a sense of value for any other human as well as social interaction in itself. So many of these things are not a problem unless you have deep insecurities affecting you, in which case building up bullshit "IDGAF" walls are just being insecure about your insecurities instead of actually being a man and fixing your shit so you can be real and things can make sense.

[–]Troll_Name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a skill - a potentially priceless one.

Whenever folks on other sites complain about being unable to score, I tell them to practice their conversation skills on bros, old folks, and other non-targets. If someone has been living the manchild lifestyle up to this point, then their speaking skills are probably underdeveloped.

[–]fanthor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is stupid.

If no one liked hitler he would never become one of the most infamous men in history.

In the aristocracy, they have lessons on how to make people to like you.

Making people in love with you is one of the easiest path to greatness.

[–]Mckallidon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why bother. It's easier to be yourself and only worry about the people that like you regardless.

[–]moargainz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whenever I see people using these tactics, it immediately makes me think "what are they trying to get from me" and repels me. Just doesn't feel authentic.

[–]twatbutters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The two best ways- have a good physique/be well groomed and be charismatic.

You're spot on about smiling. When you smile and act jovial, you're immediately seen as approachable and friendly. Of course, you have to fine tune this, because over-doing this will make you look patronizing.

This doesn't just apply to women, but to other men as well. You encourage camaraderie and break down formal barriers the more friendly you are. This comes in handy on both a social level and in your career, when you need help from others.

[–]re4d3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My experience is, behave as unapologetic yourself, do not seek approval in others and people will separate into those who like you and those who don't. The more distinctive person you are, the more divisive line goes between them. You offer your time to the 1st group and do not pay much attention to the 2nd.

For a man, more important than be "liked" is to be respected. Imagine you are a platoon commander. Shit must be done, you lead and command, be hard on flakers, they might loathe you but at the same time they respect you.

[–]Purecorrupt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the key behind all of this is to get people to talk more about themselves when they get that sparkle in their eye. Otherwise these approaches may come off as prodding or interview-like. Like why this nigga keep asking me questions.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Become genuinely interested in other people.

Sure, if you want people to like you.

But if you want to get laid, it's more important to be attractive than interested. Listening is supplicating and submissive.

See my recent article: https://www.trp.red/p/mattyanon/556

[–]self-proclaimed_____ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are some tricks for remembering names? I have a bad problem with this

[–]Katavasis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to say this: Some of these self-help books are targete towards socially inept people...to say the least. More on the autistic spectrum. Yeah,smile and remember his/her name. Wow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard this summed up before: "The most important factors to success in life are honesty and sincerity. Once you can fake those convincingly you've got it made."

[–]Fraita 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really like the way you simplify the message, do you have an app for Iphone too?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just be funny and skip 1-6

[–]tolerantman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry but that is a terrible book and filled with lies.

Those things would definitely work with girls and maybe 60 year old men.

But you are neither, and women will take advantage of you if they think you are always smiling and paying attention to them, like a puppy.

[–]atifhere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The title should be: Six Ways to Be Submissive

[–]Shadoninja 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I read this book. This is not from the second half. Not sure why you decided to lie about that.

[–]NaturalSelect1on[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If you read my previous post (part 1) I said that the book contains 4 parts. So this is the 2nd. It is my fault that I don't mention that this is the 2nd of the 4 parts of the book.

Part 3 and 4 will be posted today and tomorrow.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ted bundy read this book... and look where he is..