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Never tell her how much Money you make. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by RPmanFTDoTE

[removed]

[–]RedPillFusion 161 points162 points  (38 children)

There was a study posted here sometime over the last year or two which upended the preconceived notion that financial hardships were the primary cause of divorce (as least, I believe the study suggested, when the wife was filing). The study found that the true(r?) correlation was husband unemployment.

Your plate wasn't able to conceive of your independent wealthy status by your behavior with her. While you are 100% right about not giving up the financial information, I'd suggest you might not have been in that situation in the first place had you been exhibiting outcome independence and abundance behaviors.

Bear in mind, some of her most powerful tingles are generated by observing you, on your mission, mastering your environment, making decisions, and pursuing & achieving goals unrelated to her.

This is not an attempt to argue with any of your original points, but to challenge you to extract more value from the experience moving forward than a wholesale justification of AWALT.

[–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero 62 points63 points  (22 children)

The study was done by Harvard, which specifically points to the husband's lack of full time employment as a major factor in divorce. From the abstract, "Financial considerations—wives’ economic independence and total household income—are not predictive of divorce in either cohort. [Use of time], however, is associated with divorce risk in both cohorts. For marriages formed after 1975, husbands’ lack of full-time employment is associated with higher risk of divorce, but neither wives’ full-time employment nor wives’ share of household labor is associated with divorce risk. Expectations of wives’ homemaking may have eroded, but the husband breadwinner norm persists."

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    You misogynistic prick. Are you telling me all the dish washing I've been doing is for naught? Good thing I've been folding clothes too.

    [–]1lurkingtacopiller 75 points76 points  (12 children)

    Steps for success:

    1. Get rich.
    2. Pretend to have full time job while living off investments. Spend 8-10 hours per day doing whatever you want out of the house (having sex, road trips, etc).
    3. Profit

    [–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero 82 points83 points  (6 children)

    Your comment misses the point entirely. Studies show that women aren't attracted to money in and of itself; women are attracted to men who have purpose, who have direction, who have a mission. In short, women are attracted to men who are active. The money is just an extension of the sort of activities she may be able to participate in with the man who has money. But it isn't the money she's attracted to; it's the activities.

    Your comment indicates that it is ideal to fake having a mission, to fake having a purpose. You shouldn't be pretending anything; you should build purpose in your life and act on it. That is what she finds attractive.

    A woman would prefer to go out to the beach or spend a weekend camping with a financially poor man, than to spend a weekend inside the house eating homemade soup with a millionaire.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    this is a common fallacy. Of course women are not attracted to money itself. Money itself is completely without any notable worth. It becomes valuable only because we believe in its value.

    However, men who have purpose, direction, mission usually tend to be men who acquire power, fame and wealth. Money is a constant ingredient of all of these attributes.

    The President of the United States is not considered the most Powerful man because he can beat any other man in a fair fight. He is the most Powerful because he commands a Country with the Financial Backbone to support the Worlds strongest Armed Forces among others.

    People like Trump (before he became President) were famous mainly for the way they have and handle Money.

    Finally Wealth is usually intimately bonded with large amounts of Money.

    Just because we only see Women on the Way does not mean they are not on it because of the goal.

    [–]Terrh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You shouldn't be pretending anything; you should build purpose in your life and act on it. That is what she finds attractive.

    And this is the entire point of life anyways.

    Figure out what you want, and then go for it. It's the true key to Happiness.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I don't think it's a matter of attraction here. We're clearly talking about the Beta Bux side of women's dual sexual strategy. In OP's case and all others where a woman left a man who lost money or a job, I would argue it was not due to lack of tingles, but anxiety about Beta Bob not being able to fulfill his beta job.

    [–]1lurkingtacopiller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It was meant to be a bit tongue in cheek, I agree with everything you say.

    I'd never do anything like that. I mean, get rich yeah, but pretending just to keep a woman happy? Fuck that noise.

    [–]SpeakerToRedditors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is exactly why the aspiring rockstar is so loved by women. He can be dirt poor, owning a matress and a guitar, working his ass off to "make it big"and women will cream themselves​.

    Trump can grab women by the pussy not because he is rich or powerful. Because he is a driven businessman .

    [–]atlasshrugged84 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I got this a lot when i took a year off. ( it was amazing) "what do you do all day?" Me: "TCB"

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What do you do for a living that made you rich?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This guy understands what I'm looking for in life. You, sir, are a national treasure.

    [–]Five_Decades 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    There was a study out of Sweden I believe, when the woman earns 81-100% of household income divorce rates double compared to households where the husband earns 81-100%. It's a linear relationship too, the lower the % of household income earned by the men, the more divorce.

    However men who earn less than their wives are more likely to cheat, which also contributes.

    [–]rys_znaki 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Which really sucks as a high-earning woman. I've made at least twice what any of my past partners have made, and every time it's been a problem for them. I'm happy to be "the provider" -it's not even really on my radar- but it's tended to make the guys I've dated feel emasculated and insecure.

    It kind of leaves me with three options- 1. Succumb to the prevailing cultural narrative and seek out someone who makes more than me, making me feel like a golddigger. No thanks. 2. Not telling partners what I make, which I won't do because I don't like secrets and find my own impossible to keep- my mouth spills my thoughts before my mental filter stops it. 3. Keep dating the people I like, only to get my heart broken over and over by hearing "I just want to feel needed" and "I don't deserve you, you deserve someone who can take care of you." They never seem to understand that I would rather want than "need" them, and that they DO "take care of me" through fulfilling my emotional needs.

    I guess my point is that the situation sucks for everyone. I hate that this is a gendered thing. At this point, if I can't find someone who doesn't care, my ideal would be to find someone who makes exactly what I make and to keep the money separate so neither of us would be insecure, there wouldn't be standard of living issues, and we could just be partners without money becoming a wedge.

    [–]GrandpaLeiho 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    lack full time employment; am married.

    [–]Terdmuffin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Let's keep in mind that probably 99.9% of men who don't work full time aren't secretly wealthy entrepreneurs and are actually unemployable for a multitude of reasons that also make them terrible husbands/fathers.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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      [–]RedPillFusion 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      You could be right. I'm just going by what he claimed. We wouldn't be able to have useful conversations in a venue like this without giving a small amount of trust, absent obviously questionable claims, that what each other says is true. I basically respond to comments and posts under the universal premise of "If true, then X".

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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        [–]VickVaseline 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        This is true. My ex left me just after I got laid off.

        [–]livinlifeman 15 points16 points  (1 child)

        Been there man. Fuck em, those are the same ones that wanna come crawling back when you're beating the odds and becoming a success story. Way too many good girls out there to worry about some leech wanting to live off someone else's wealth and hard work.

        [–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Per the request of an EC, I am awarding you with a point for this comment.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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          [–]RedPillFusion 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          Can you elaborate a bit on that?

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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            [–]Returnofthemack3 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            lol I remember that posters were falling over themselves trying to blame men in that scenario. The logic went that unemployment leads to negative behaviors from the man, which strains the marriage. Even with a stat as damning as that, they still find a way to blame the man.

            [–]RedPillFusion 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            This sub isn't about assigning blame though. It's about inquiry into the way the world really works as it relates to sexual strategy.

            Blame is a useless and impotent hand-waving of reality. Ownership, accountability of self, and practical application of strategy are the effective tools for this domain.

            [–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero 69 points70 points  (26 children)

            The following is an actual post on 2XC.

            Tl;dr - "My boyfriend kept his wealth a secret from me throughout our entire relationship. I ended the relationship on the pretext that he wasn't money/career motivated, he didn't say anything to the contrary."

            Body

            I [F26] have been dating Will [M27] for most of 2014; I met him on New Years Eve, we exchanged numbers, scheduled a coffee date and have been seeing each other ever since. He's tall and shy, with long thick hair like Eddie Vedder.

            He lives in an older house by himself and drives a 1997 Toyota. He dresses very casually - I don't think he even owns a collared shirt - and all his clothes are minimum 1-2 years old.

            For income, he told me he "ran a few websites" and picked up piece-work as a 'session guitarist'. He is also very frugal. He never took me out for fancy dinners or anything. In the beginning it was always coffee dates, walks, hikes, etc. If we go out, he insists on 'pre-drinking' and refuses to buy drinks at a bar. Most nights he was content staying in, watching Netflix and playing his guitar.

            I never outright asked how much money he made, but given his lifestyle, clothes, furnishings, etc. plus the fact that he rarely worked, I assumed it wasn't much. I would lightly prod him with questions about the future, if he had any career goals - he would say that he "saw me in his future", but also he was "happy the way things were".

            I have Facebook and am on it every day, usually when work is slow. Lately my newsfeed has been filled with my peers getting married, buying houses, having babies, and other various accolades. I can't help but feel jealous by this; it seems like everyone but me is making significant gains in their lives and relationships.

            Three weeks ago, after seeing a girl I knew from high school buy her 3rd property with her husband, it felt like my relationship with Will was juvenile and had no future. The next time I was over at Will's (after he served me potato soup for dinner and was torrenting a documentary for us to watch later) I ended the relationship.

            I was perfectly honest about everything - he was a great guy, I loved him and his personality, but I felt he lacked career/life ambition and we wanted different things for the future. He sat and listened to everything, seemingly unmoved by it. When I finished talking, he said "fine by me" and asked me to leave. I went to hug him on my way out, instead he just guided me out the door and slammed it shut behind him.

            With prior boyfriends, we'd still talk or text a bit after we'd be broken up. Sometimes we'd even still hook up. I dunno, I've just never had a 'bad break-up' and always try to remain on good terms. I haven't heard a fucking word from Will, even after texting him multiple times and calling him once.

            I saw two of Wills friends at the gym today. I went over and made small talk, asked how he was, etc. I tried to explain myself, saying he was a great guy but our views on money and the future didn't seem to mesh. To this, one friend chuckled to himself and walked away.

            I asked the other friend WTF that's about it, and he says "Yeah, we heard. The thing is, Will's loaded. He inherited his grandpas land which is leased to oil and gas companies. I've seen the quarterly checks he gets and they're more than my yearly salary. Good luck getting him to spend it, though. He has a 'if it aint broke, dont fix it' type mentality. Just look at that piece of shit he drives!"

            This has completely baffled and upset me. I dated him for 10 months when I thought he was penniless, proof I'm not a fucking gold-digger. I am a 26 year old woman who needs to be pragmatic, I can't just indefinitely date someone with the future being so uncertain.

            He could've said something, ANYTHING during our break up when I was explaining my doubts about our relationship. Instead he said nothing, and now he refuses to talk to me. It makes absolutely no sense. I just feel so low right now. If a man with disposable income meets a woman he likes, doesn't he want to treat her? He said he "saw me in his future", why didn't he care enough to share these things with me? He could have easily kept our relationship alive by being forthcoming. Someone please help me make sense of this situation.

            -end of post-

            [–]1lurkingtacopiller 40 points41 points  (9 children)

            Yeah I remember this shit. Almost sounds too good to be true but hey, here's hoping Will exists and found a better bitch.

            [–]ThePwnter 35 points36 points  (0 children)

            I have to give my props to Will. He straight red pilled the whole situation! I wish I could thank him personally. Her hamster is obviously still spinning from his alpha moves.

            [–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 22 points23 points  (2 children)

            It's fanfic - the story is just too flawless to be true.

            Every little detail fits the narrative - the 1997 Toyota and the "potato soup and torrented documentary" that really drive home the point that the guy is Scrooge McDuck incarnate.

            [–]Stanislav_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            If its a fanfic its a goddam good one with 1+ year later update

            [–]GrotusMaximus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Potato soup is fucking delicious, and I love a good documentary. Will sounds like a great guy.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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              [–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Your comment hasn't received enough recognition.

              On one hand, sure, good for Will for not taking any dumb shit from girlfriend when she unilaterally decided to end things. It would have been smarter for her to sit down with Will and have a legitimate conversation with him before she jumped the gun and decided to leave him.

              On the other hand, I cannot blame her for leaving him. Will sounds like a lazy bitch. While every man is free to live their life as they see fit, they're also free to suffer the consequences of their choices.

              I am not at all shocked by her choice to leave him. Further. I'd say that her official reasons for leaving him aren't entirely accurate. Will sounds boring as fuck. Her complaints aren't exactly money related; her chief complaint is that he's unmotivated, doesn't have a mission, and isn't going anywhere in life.

              I say that's the reason why she left him, because he's complacent to the point of being completely uninspiring. Will isn't an example for the rest of us to live up to. Will is a tool. If it wasn't for all the money in his possession (money that he didn't even earn), he'd be a loser. If we heard this story all over again but without him having all the cash, then no one in their right mind would be making fun of that girl for leaving him.

              [–]1nonthaki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Well .. no better bitch .. just have to trade one negative character for the negative character in another girl .

              [–]chance01 16 points17 points  (2 children)

              "I have Facebook and am on it every day" - facebook is a validation station for women. It is the place where they measure and look to measure others with themselves.

              "I've just never had a 'bad break-up' and always try to remain on good terms." Translation, she's never been on the receiving end of a break up so when she got dumped, it was a 'bad breakup' because she wasn't the one that broke up with him.

              [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Yes, it hit me too. Facebook makes you feel bad? Quit that bullshit. It is so simple. But no, not for a woman. Instead she dumps the guy on the spot and starts chasing her fantasy. But wait. Was that fantasy really hers? Or, was it over-imposed somehow, by the social media? Who knows. Byron Katie has that lovely concept of "unoriginal thoughts", universal, world-wide, pretty negative beliefs about yourself and the world.

              [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              I am a 26 year old woman who needs to be pragmatic,

              The 25 year old just needed hot fuq.

              [–]askmrcia 14 points15 points  (0 children)

              I have Facebook and am on it every day, usually when work is slow. Lately my newsfeed has been filled with my peers getting married, buying houses, having babies, and other various accolades. I can't help but feel jealous by this;

              Comparing her life to others, main reasons why its near impossible to have relationships now a days. She has no idea if those people are even happy behind closed doors.

              With prior boyfriends, we'd still talk or text a bit after we'd be broken up. Sometimes we'd even still hook up.

              Jesus.

              But it sounds like Will is an absolute SAVAGE. I'd buy him a beer if I knew him.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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                [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Exactly. She mentioned the dude with three properties. Think about that, you have to be rolling in it, to be able to afford three different properties that are decently priced.

                [–]Stanislav_ 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                Here is the follow up of this situation, 14 months later:

                Title reads "I saw my ex after 1+ year apart and it crushed me."

                Body: "In 2014 I went through a pretty bad break-up. I met Will at a NYE party hosted by a friend-of-a-friend and we dated for 10ish months. I loved him - it was probably the best relationship I'd had on a 'personal connection' level - but he had been dishonest about some things (not infidelity - 'life' things) and it led to us breaking up. I couldn't come to terms with his lying by omission - it seemed like he threw away our relationship over nothing. I was pretty unhappy for a while, not gonna lie. Went on a few dates, had a few Tinder flings, but nothing serious. Around summer 2015 is when things started to turn around and I felt I was in a good place. Happy with my job, happy with my body, happy with my social circle - just all-around happy and patiently waiting for Mr. Right to come along. My friends and I were invited to the same NYE party this year, hosted by the same person. I knew there was a chance my ex would be there, but I didn't care - I was over him. Seeing him and being cordial shouldn't have been a problem. He was pretty icy when the relationship ended, so even if he was there, I didn't expect him to say all that much to me. So my girls and I are there early, having a few cocktails and everything is going great... then Will walks through the door. He saw me, smiled, walked directly over and gave me a big hug. With his arms wrapped around me, smelling his cologne... I just melted. In that moment, whatever bad feelings I had about our relationship were completely gone. I just genuinely missed him. I got through 15 minutes of small talk with him, my heart racing the entire time. He remembered all these little details about me, my friends and my family - I couldn't believe it. When I told him about my job, my new apartment, etc. he seemed happy for me. When the conversation ended, he gave me another quick hug and then left toward the kitchen. My friends could tell that seeing him had affected me. They took me to a more private area of the house to talk it out; they reminded me to not get ahead of myself, he's still the same guy who lied to you, etc. When we went to rejoin the party, he was on his phone giving directions to someone. After a minute of eavesdropping it became clear that he was talking to his girlfriend. Fuck. I should've left then and there, but I didn't want it to seem like him having a new girlfriend affected me. Like I hadn't gotten on with my fucking life after 14 months apart. And so I stayed. She arrived about 10 minutes later and Will introduced her to everyone. She seemed nice enough, but seeing them together made me sick to my stomach. I swear she was being all touchy-feely with him just to spite me. I did my best to avoid them throughout the night. I found out through a friend that they'd been dating for 2 or 3 months. The party ended, I got into a car with my friends and just started sobbing uncontrollably. They tried to comfort me but I was too far gone. They dropped me off and I cried for while longer alone in my apartment. This was supposed to be a fun weekend with my girls, we had all sorts of stuff planned, but I ended up staying home by myself last night. No one questioned it, they all knew. I must've wrote 100 different texts to Will last night but didn't end up sending a single one. I'm going to stay in tonight as well. I want him back so bad, I just don't know what to do :(" -end of post-

                [–]Mckallidon 8 points9 points  (4 children)

                Listen to this hamster work overtime holy fuck. Lol. You are a gold digger! That's why he dumped your cunt ass? He reciprocated exactly what you put into the relationship lol. You put nothing in and so did he you fucking retard. Hahaha.

                Good for this champ. Fuck so many dudes with the money still don't have the balls. This dude rocks. My fucking hero.

                His friends probably laughed their asses off before laughing about it with him.

                [–]JackGetsIt 152 points153 points  (9 children)

                Next thing you know she'll be on the cock of a burly tattooed guy and she'll say he has a 'career' and 'lots of money' because he has a 2 day a week bartending job and a new motorcycle (but no savings and no investments of course). Women are very visual when it comes to wealth and if they can't see it and be directly benefiting from it they struggle to feel comforted by the resource.

                If it's any consolation it sounds like she didn't want to break up but was just comfort testing a bit. The fact that she so quickly is messaging you back shows she didn't intended for you to break up with her and she misjudged and overplayed her hand.

                If a woman asks how much you make, break it off ASAP.

                Personally I wouldn't go this far. Lots of women want to know your income levels, cash flow etc. So you're going to be rejecting a lot of women. Also most women have the opposite problem with men. They date men that lie about their income levels and cash flow and then get in LTR's and marriages and the guy doesn't have enough money to provide for her and the offspring. So it's a legitimate impulse on a women's part. She probably saw your hesitance as a sign that you didn't really want an LTR anyway and convinced herself that if she stayed with you she'd waste precious cock carousel riding time (I also guarantee that this was prompted by one of her girlfriends: "all entrepreneurs are broke as shit honey!! he's probably not telling you about his money because he doesn't have any!! you better confront him girl!!")

                I do agree with you that If a women is rude about it or can't stop bringing it up then yea that's a big red flag. If I were you I would have given a smaller more modest picture of your finances and then said that you keep those private and won't share until marriage or a very stable LTR.

                [–]A_Bridgeburner 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                Makes sense. I'm in a similar situation as OP and agree that if she won't stop bringing it up to break things off.

                How would you handle the question the first time? (Hopefully in a way that stops it from being asked again). Thanks.

                [–]1RXRob 11 points12 points  (2 children)

                I agree with everything you say, but it raises a question for women.

                If you don't mean to break up with us, then why do you break up with us? You fucking idiots.

                [–]cnzs 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                It's all a game and that's a valid and very good play when timed properly. She just thought op was like her previous experiences where the guy crawls back.

                [–]1RXRob 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                I love calling people's bluffs

                [–]askmrcia 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                They date men that lie about their income levels and cash flow and then get in LTR's and marriages and the guy doesn't have enough money to provide for her and the offspring.

                Weird, I thought women have careers and jobs now so they shouldn't have to depend on us anymore.

                I also guarantee that this was prompted by one of her girlfriends:

                Agree

                This is not just a response to you, but to others saying OP messed up when it came to not showing his real wealth. Women can get their own jobs now. They can generate their own cash. They don't need men anymore as a provider. So this sense that women need to know how much a guy makes and make sure he makes enough money for her and her kids is crazy. Again, they have their own jobs and cashflow.

                She broke up with him, but then wants him back when OP never even mentioned his wealth.

                This tells me that OP has some holes in his story or the girl didn't want him for other reasons.

                [–]ether_reddit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                A more likely explanation is that this woman was being irrational. She still cares about his overt displays of wealth even though she's capable of providing for herself.

                It's instinct. Women look for providers; someone who doesn't look like a provider doesn't look like a good mate. Women need to wake up from their primitive instincts and use their brains to logic themselves out of this conundrum.

                [–]ThatSquareChick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I wish women like this would just go away. I've been happily married for twelve years because it goes both ways. We don't fight about money, who's responsible for what, whos' "turn" is it or even about the damn toilet seat. There's no I in team, you have to pull for your partner sometimes and they pull for you too but there's no keeping score. Just because I have the better job right now doesn't mean it will always be that way, I could get sick or he could find something that he loves that he's well suited for and makes tons! Women need to understand that it's a two-way street, you can't expect to attract a really good partner if your one trick is lying on your back. If you support your partner when they need it, it makes both of you stronger. It isn't even about gender roles, who should work and who should cook, everyone should do what needs to be done.

                Women don't get past their own individuality and still think of themselves as separate people even after they get married. If you don't think of your relationship as you two actually just being one entity, you miss out on the strongest parts of being with someone. Follow the Golden Rule: Treat Them As You Would Treat You and do it honestly.

                [–]samosiazosia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I don't agree with breaking up ASAP. Instead she should be demoted to a plate ASAP.

                [–]1nonthaki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Yes .. All women look at money/financial security to some extent .. If they didnt , AWALT wouldn't be true (LMS - Looks "Money" Status) .

                [–]1walkingthelinux 102 points103 points  (15 children)

                I understand the part about not telling about your money, but a girl has good reason to want to make sure you're not a shiftless loser.

                Isn't there some middle ground?

                Your post was light on context - were there other problems with the relationship?

                [–]Physio_Tool 41 points42 points  (2 children)

                Yea OP went way overboard with just some simple dad advice that is not meant to be an unbreakable commandment. One of the issues I see on TRP is people wanting Laws instead of shades of grey.

                You most certainly should tell her she needs to know if she has security with her. If you don't make any money, you should be in the process of obtaining funds and she can judge if your a sound fit as a future husband.

                [–]Uniqueusername121 21 points22 points  (0 children)

                The overboard part is replacing communication and connection with dominance displays.

                Agreed that women want to see and feel the implied but never overt dominance.

                But they want a partner too, and if a man spends his entire life focusing on that dominance display, he's never going to connect with a woman, and he misses out on all the best parts of life because of it.

                [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                OP was right. She asked him how much he makes. Not what plans he has for the future and career goals. She wanted to know how much money she can extract from him. Speaking from experience of seeing my parents fight over this stuff. He was right not to tell how much he owns

                [–]razeus 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                Just tell them you make enough to pay the bills and be comfy and not worry about money, and that you have some entrepreneurship stuff brewing and describe that to her.

                You'll be more interesting and she'll have something to brag to her friends about.

                [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                Isn't there some middle ground?

                Yes, it's called purple pill.

                [–]politbur0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Because everything you read online is true.

                [–]1nonthaki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                They want security and safety , i understand .. but what these women don't realize is that if these women were faithful and loyal and feminine and lovely,... then we men would change and work and strive hard to be successful and make sure that we could provide her . But ofcourse, women dont like that also.. women want a guy who works hard for his own goals , and not to supplicate a woman .. they are crazy . ..

                [–]BleedingAssWound 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                "She told me I have no job, no motivation and no life goals and that she deserves better."

                She's your girlfriend and she's around you all the time and she thinks that? Maybe you're projecting a different version of yourself than you think. If you present yourself as an unemployed person with no prospects, of course no woman is going to want to be with you. She wants a man that can take care of stuff, she doesn't want to be your mommy and there are a lot of man-children these days.

                [–]everyone_wins 74 points75 points  (17 children)

                Your mistake here was not talking about your ambitions or what you've done successfully in the past. You should have misdirected the conversation to that. Sounds like she wasn't worth it anyway, but understand that women love a good fairy tale, just like every other child. The thing to do in your situation is to tell her a story that she wants to hear.

                [–]i_forget_my_userids 87 points88 points  (12 children)

                Honestly, I think op is full of shit and just made this post to feel better about himself. The "no motivation, no goals" part stands out the most.

                [–]Frdl 50 points51 points  (1 child)

                Yup - pretty much. I can see OP sleeping into noon everyday, telling his plate/ltr he's on to something, the next big thing. I'm an entrepreneur! Don't leave me I have $500 in a mutual fund! I'm an investor!

                Girls don't need to see your financial statements to figure out if you're a good prospect or not. They've literally evolved to instinctively know if you have your shit together or not.

                [–]Furiousrobot1 8 points9 points  (4 children)

                What a total muppet. How can you apply the rule "don't tell anyone how much you earn" to your girlfriend? If you had the same ruleset for everyone, including your girlfriend, it would be a shitty relationship anyway!

                [–]robertjuh 0 points1 point  (3 children)

                who cares about how much you make when a relationship is about love?

                [–]teh_booth_gawd 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                Because love doesn't put food on the fuckin table.

                [–]Ayy_2_Brute 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                Longterm financial stability is a part of that, especially once you get older. If either partner makes enough that the other doesn't have to work, that can be fine, but financial dependance breeds resentment over time, especially if one spouse doesn't have anything to occupy themselves with outside of the relationship. I don't make enough to support a woman who doesn't have a decent income, so that's not the kind of woman I'm interested in. Same goes the other way, although there's more of an onus on men as our financial production is how we're valued.

                [–]laere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Women's love is opportunistic. Expecting a woman to love you the way a man loves a woman is just an unrealistic expectation.

                [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]Thengine 18 points19 points  (1 child)

                  If I was with a woman who doesn't seem to do anything all day long and is secretive about how they sustain themselves financially, then I too would ask those hard questions.

                  OP: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU SIT ON YOUR ASS ALL DAY INSTEAD OF HAVING A FUCKING JOB?

                  OP: DO YOU EVEN MAKE ANY MONEY SO THAT WE CAN GO OUT AND I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING YOUR SOLE PROVIDER?

                  Like /u/everyone_wins said, OP fucked up. Perception is reality. OP portrayed a loser lifestyle.

                  She told me I have no job, no motivation and no life goals and that she deserves better.

                  [–]A_Bridgeburner 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  I agree with this. Often you can literally see a girls eyes light up when you talk about financial/career ambition. Stuff like this helps them build a comfortable fairytale in their heads and keeps questions like the one OP faced away.

                  [–]Late30sMasculist 36 points37 points  (1 child)

                  I didn't even try to argue against it because I know that I deserve better.

                  Funny that you only realize that after she dumps you.

                  Lesson learned: If a woman asks how much you make, break it off ASAP.

                  There is nothing in your post that illustrates this lesson.

                  [–]merkis 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  This! Op is taking it to the extreme

                  [–]2kez88 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                  if she's asking you how much you make and is willing to break it off with you then you were never really her first choice anyway and youre simply her bb. An alpha with no money is fine and many women fuck these guys for ages because he brings other value besides wealth. A bb with no money however has no value so in her eyes you're worthless to her and thus she left.

                  Start again, spin more plates, and question why you were viewed as a BB to this woman.

                  [–]redpill-account 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  I don't talk to hoes about business -Drake

                  [–]BuddhistSC 16 points17 points  (3 children)

                  Pretty bizarre post. Huge overreaction on both sides.

                  [–]BleedingAssWound 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                  I don't think we're getting the full story.

                  [–]Mike-Hawks 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                  Yeah OP sounds like an insecure dickhead to be honest.

                  A relationship isn't going to work if you don't trust your partner with something big like finances...

                  [–]fanthor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  my ex was understanding of my frugal ways, saying i was different from other guys, how I'm mature for my age

                  Until she knew how much i was actually making, and what my background is. Then I was stingy, and she literally cried because Im going to be stingy to her too. Her literal words was "I dont mind for you to be stingy, Im just scared that you will treat me the same way after marriage"

                  I saw it that day, the reason she was happy that Im saving up is because she thinks Im doing it for "Us".

                  [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                  [removed]

                  [–]sj2k 6 points7 points  (18 children)

                  On the flipside, just heard about a wall-approaching pretty girl I dated once who jumped into an early engagement only to find out his porsche is a lease and he has no savings.

                  Really though, men need to take control of their money. I can't believe how long I went just direct depositing paychecks and swiping my card on a whim. Have a plan and figure out what you can actually afford without fucking your future self

                  [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (7 children)

                  That's why through google drive and I suggest everyone do this, have a monthly budget spreadsheet.

                  Literally list out everything you spend each month and have that total up to "Total Spent so Far"

                  Then what I do using formulas is "Monthly Salary" - "Total Spent so Far" - "Retirement Savings (which should be 10-15% of gross salary)" = Total Left to Spend.

                  The total left to spend is how much left over at the end of the month that could be put towards an emergency fund or other expenses. If the total left to spend is in the negative, that's a bad thing. Means you need to cut back on expenses.

                  The great thing about google drive is being able to access on any computer or your mobile device, versus an excel file that you can only access on your computer. It allows you to update the spreadsheet at almost any time.

                  [–]sj2k 0 points1 point  (6 children)

                  Do you have other savings goals besides retirement that you put money into? YNAB makes you divide your money into pots of money to be used for upcoming expenses. I noticed if I wait till the end of the month to put leftover into savings, I don't save nearly as much. I start the month by putting money into the savings goal and leave the rest for expenses

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

                  Well I also save to invest money in a few different brokerage accounts. I love investing. One is Robinhood for investing in stocks without paying commissions. Vanguard I mainly hold ETFs, some stock in my IRAs. Charles Schwab is for ETFs and I'm starting to do options trading/investing through them. I recently bought a Facebook January call option to leverage returns.

                  Savings goals would be for vacations and other fun activities, or unexpected expenses. "The total left to spend" would go towards a vacation and emergency fund, that gets added up each month.

                  You can tweak the simple formula I did by adding something like "Saving for emergency fund" or "Saving for trip", so that you know how much you have left to spend, after taking those into account.

                  The thing is that I always save a specific amount each month for retirement (about 15% of gross salary) no matter what. I use www.personalcapital.com to keep track of my assets/investments, liabilities (credit card balances), and how much I'm spending. For my age, I feel like I'm doing pretty good.

                  I want to really learn and get good at investing in options, because you can make a lot of money, if done right. I'm kind of starting out right now. Saving to invest is something everyone should be doing.

                  [–]sj2k 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                  Exactly, I came to the epiphany recently that while my job is well-paying, it's not going to get me the wealth I really want. My 9-5 is just funding my investments

                  And yea, I need to switch to Robinhood. $7 a trade with Scottrade is annoying.

                  [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Yeah and Robinhood is easy to use and they do the same tax forms as other brokerages, so you don't have to worry come tax time. I would only pay a commission for trades if it's a stock purchase in Roth IRA, which is tax advantaged, or if it's for options, because returns on stocks I'm bullish on are leveraged/compounded, if it goes higher.

                  For the most part though, I only buy ETFs through Charles Schwab and Vanguard. One downside of Robinhood is you can't automatically reinvest dividends, but I'm fine with that.

                  [–]1nonthaki 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                  How did you learn about investing? Where can i learn ?

                  [–][deleted]  (9 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]cryptoreporter 2 points3 points  (3 children)

                        deleted What is this?

                        [–]MrRubitonyachest 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                        You hit the nail on the head with me. I eat out way too much. Too much money being spent. I'm a big dude who works out a lot and don't really eat like a normal person. I eat much more. I recently started bulk shopping chicken, rice, etc at Costco these past few weeks and have noticed a huge difference

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Exactly. Eating out is a waste of money. I make most of my meals at home, especially during the work week. Not just does it save you money, but you can control what is in your meal and the portion size.

                        [–]cryptoreporter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        deleted What is this?

                        [–]sj2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Honestly man, it coincided with losing my oneitis and deciding I'd spend my money on myself, traveling and a condo. Then I subscribed to ynab (a budgeting site and app, just like Mint) and you basically categorize your expenses and set monthly goals. It makes you take care of the stupid expenses: finally canceling those useless $10 subscriptions, arguing with insurance/cable to lower your bill, not volunteering to buy rounds when you know your cheaper friends won't get you back. It really was life changing and my savings have quadrupled in a year.

                        [–]asatcat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        This seems to be more of a communication issue on your end from what you are telling us.

                        If you refuse to tell her anything about your finances, and don't have a "job", why would she think you are worth her time. You probably come across as some lazy broke sack of shit.

                        You don't have to tell her how much money you make, but at least tell her how you make money and give her an idea of what you do.

                        Why would a girl want to stay with a guy who refuses to communicate anyways

                        [–]tableman 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        >She told me I have no job, no motivation and no life goals and that she deserves better.

                        Of course she fucking broke up with you.

                        You don't have to tell her how much you make, but you should show her you are doing something with your life.

                        [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        This was a shit test. You passed the shit test. If you wanted to, you could probably keep plating her.

                        [–]lItsAutomaticl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        Most decent women are interested in your money status; they don't want to invest their time and pussy in a deadbeat. I don't know everything about your situation, and this girl sounds like a bitch regardless, but if you can't communicate your success in ways other than telling them your income then that's your problem, too.

                        [–]Psshtatay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                        Dude this shit happens way too often

                        [–]CormacD123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        But does she not know you do something in order to make money? Like do you literally lye about all day at the minute to give her this impression? Surely you do something day to day that makes you them 6 figures and maintains that balance?

                        Very vague background on yourself OP. The principle of the matter I agree with yes she doesn't need to know how much money you make you should of ended it when she first started that conversation. But the rest of the story or you having no job with no motivation and no goals would put me off too if you just lay about all day. Maybe you're busy every day but thats not the impression i get from this story and why this LTR broke up with you. Even with knowing you had 6 figures I'd break it off with you too but for different reasons than you not showing me your bank balance.

                        Would you want to be with a girl who doesn't work, doesn't show any motivation, ambition or goals? Nothing against not having a job if you can still make the money yes that's no problem but it all depends on the context of the matter.

                        Or is this LTR really fucking stupid and doesn't realise the stuff you go and do each day makes you the money that you buy stuff with and she's just oblivious to all that? Very skeptical of this post OP it's somewhat vague.

                        [–]happy_guy23 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        That's a real shame that you didn't feel comfortable talking honestly with your ex, sounds to me like it might have saved the relationship because I'm sure she wasn't happy that you wouldn't talk to her about something important to your lives, it probably sounded like you were hiding something bad from her. Sorry for your loss man, hope you can take the right lessons from it.

                        [–]crowscountingspades 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                        One of my friends, newly single back in the 90s, made it a point to never share how well off he was.

                        He made a ton of money flipping houses...he would buy one, move in, fix it up, sell it then move on. So he was often in a banged up house PLUS he drove a pickup truck.

                        Gals assumed he was poor. He did not dismiss them of the notion.

                        THAT is the right strategy!!!

                        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                        [deleted]

                          [–]crowscountingspades 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Wish I had some advice for ya'... Some friends of mine here in Houston tried to flip and after six months of hard work and headaches barely broke even.

                          I know the friend mentioned in my comment had a very effective approach which was to LIVE in the home he was restoring/flipping. That way, his monthly mortgage, was just a cost of living rather than an incremental investment (which is what you incur when you live one place while working to flip another).

                          [–]VickVaseline 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                          Was she an LTR or plate? ...big difference.

                          [–]ProfessorZoom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          Exactly what I was wondering. If it's a plate then who gives a fuck? But a LTR, well no woman is going to be cool with not knowing your financial status if you're at that level of a relationship.

                          [–]logicalthinker1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          What really shocked me about women was how openly they say they care about how much a guy makes. No shame.

                          [–]sithlordzeta 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                          never really thought about this, I do sometimes get caught up in how much other people are making since I'm a somewhat recent college grad so I like to see where I am in the pack.

                          unfortunately working in the public sector my income can be looked up by anyone lol but this is still good to keep in mind since most people i hope won't be looking up my salary

                          [–]1GroundhogLiberator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Too late, I checked and now we all know you're broke.

                          [–]BestSC86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          Never talk about money with anyone.....that is considered uncouth around here, thankfully. And he shouldn't talk about money with a plate, ever, as she is just a acquaintance for fucking and likely low quality. But is this girl a plate or an LTR, the Op is unclear and it is sort of stupid to think that an real LTR isn't going to wonder whether or not her partner is high quality or just a slacker loser. Op likely handled it badly by giving the impression that he had no reason not to tell her and let it escalate into a full blown fight which for the Op brings us to the bigger issue for the Op...

                          But while she was likely looking to filter you out for a LTR, Op is leaving something sort of important out...... and needs to be considered before everyone goes around giving high fives to the Op about how he handled this "gold digging ho".

                          What exactly has the Op been doing around this girl which gave her the impression that the Op had "no job, no motivation, and no life goals"? Why do I get the impression that she saw the Op doing little with his days outside of smoking, video games, sleeping, going on datesfucking with her in his shitty apartment and basically doing so little so she started wondering....."just what the hell am I latching myself on to here".

                          The question should never come up because your lifestyle should leave little doubt in any girl's minds about such things as motivation in life and because they all have to catch you in free moments for some of your time so it should just never come up. That doesn't mean sporting around in overpriced sports cars or spending lavish amounts of money on a girl but busy days and interests should be evident in your lives.

                          [–]topapito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          You have to tell them something. Shutting down generates insecurity. Women want to feel secure. What I agree with is not telling them everything. But their knowing that you make enough to support a family is one of the things that raise your SMV.

                          OP, I would rework your story to have some details you can offer as a fairy tale that let's them know that you are a suitable partner. There is never a reason to divulge all of your financials, but they will always need to know something and not giving them that something will result in your present scenario. Every. Time.

                          A woman asking does not necessarily make her a gold digger. She has people she has to answer to. Mother, father, family who will be concerned and in turn make her concerned. You telling her you run a website that makes you 100k a year should not crease your life. Decide on an income level that would ensure her feelz of safety and security and stick to that.

                          The devil is in the details. NEVER hand out details. All your financial information should be kept secret and only known by your attorney and accountant anyway. Never give ANYONE the knife that could kill you. Woman or man. Unless the information is protected legally, like with your attorney or accountant. Otherwise, I personally don't see an issue with people knowing I make a sweet dime. Good luck trying to find any of it at any given time.

                          Or dump every single woman you ever meet.

                          [–]BargainBinBoyfriend 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          Why are women obsessed with goals and "ambition", even if a guy is doing fine with money otherwise?

                          [–]codyrussel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          Yup right on with this.... Dad was right. Recently inherited a pile of money and surprised how friends/relatives are sniffing around, all wondering how much there is. And we tell little about it, even with close friends and family. It changed people when they know you have $$$ and usually not for the best

                          [–]ep1939 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                          Depends on the relationship tho.

                          If you're in a long term relationship, especially if you live together, giving some financial information about you to your s.o. seems pretty fair to me.

                          [–]TheAC997 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          Oh come on. At least tell her how much you make after you break up. It's hilarious.

                          EDIT: Also, perhaps she thought OP is a loser who just has a lot money? I mean, are there any hobbies or ambition?

                          [–]jakeinmn 8 points9 points  (3 children)

                          Man, just because someone asks you don't need to be an absoluting cuck with it. Say No or just state your policy that you don't share and then whatever she says or does should dictate your action after.

                          Her actions completely warrant your response tho. She had no idea what you do and she didn't know her place.

                          [–]Mike-Hawks 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                          She had no idea what you do

                          So a girlfriend has no right to know what you do?

                          What fucking planet am I on? Has anyone here ever had a relationship?

                          [–]Lyxeka 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          Looks like a clear lack of demonstrating value from your end. Are you here trying to imply that a woman following her natural instinct to find a male who can provide her food, shelter, and a purpose to life is out of line?

                          You failed here. Your insecurity about revealing your provider side (alpha bucks) made you lose a girl that potentially may have had her head screwed on right.

                          Your dad's advice regards strangers, not an LTR.

                          [–]drsherbert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Don't you feel tempted to just text her a balance statement and tell her to eat a dick?

                          [–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                          Lesson learned: If a woman asks how much you make, break it off ASAP.

                          You don't need to break it off.

                          You just stick to your policy of not telling, and she's free to stay or leave. As with everything.

                          Example: I'm in a 3+ year live-in LTR and she still doesn't (and will never) know exactly how much I have or am making.

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          This. Say you're an accountant. It's enough money that you aren't a deadbeat, and boring enough that she won't ask questions.

                          the trick? Make it clear you're not an accountant.

                          [–]Hyabusa2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          I don't have all the details but she's wrong for wanting her long term partner to be financially secure with gainful employment? 6 figures in the bank doesn't mean you get to retire in your 20's/30s and you have to pinch pennies to live off of only savings without any income.

                          It takes a LOT of money to live off of only a pile of cash by the time you buy house, cars, support a family, pay child care, medical, put kids through college, and save for retirement.

                          You are talking about needing to be decently into millions to do this and a LOT of people that come into large lump sums of money fail to correctly budget it.

                          I know couples with combined salaries over $250k that live completely middle class lifestyles.

                          For all the women that just want a sperm donor for a boyfriend and then find a stable beta to help support someone else's kids there are a worse things a woman could want than making sure you are financially stable and not a deadbeat.

                          [–]Mouthpiece 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          She already had another guy waiting in the wings, and was pressing for information to make a final decision between you and him.

                          You passed this test with flying colors.

                          [–]politbur0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Bullshit. Idiots who bought it are nothing but gullible fools.

                          [–]HanSupreme 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                          Something like this recently happened to me too involving finances,

                          Idk why, but we were just talking about it (this is little bit after we decided to become a couple) and then we showed each other's bank account.

                          Next time you know, she's asking for money and it just totally turned me off, I'm just like huh?? And then afterwards she says "I'm just testing you"

                          So basically, I stuck around for the sex and then got rid of her before Christmas.

                          [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Her reasoning for why I should tell her how much money I have is because she is my GF.

                          So she can decide if you are marriage material.

                          All she needs to know is that you're solvent. The rest is none of her business.

                          She told me I have no job, no motivation and no life goals and that she deserves better.

                          Bullet dodged.

                          [–]Barvazon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          My LTR/plate

                          LTR or plate? Can we have some background?

                          [–]CosmicPlayground51 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          You're an idiot. It's called trust and you gave her none. Which is why she came to the conclusion that you have no motivation in life and in that case she does deserve better.

                          There are people who take advantage of others but your father gave you horrible advice.

                          [–]Kalarian_Reborn 2 points3 points  (3 children)

                          1) 99% of people who make "6 figures" never say the phrase "6 figures." Dead give away.

                          2) the only people who refuse to tell anyone what they make are people ashamed of what they make.

                          This story makes you sound like someone who is probably a struggling entrepreneur and hasn't created the 100k mark. It also makes your dad sound like someone who was surrounded by people making more than him and embarrassed by it.

                          Grow up.

                          [–]fanthor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          He didnt say he makes 6 figures, he say he has 6 figures stashed

                          [–]massivewang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          1.) I make six figures and say I make six figures....

                          2.) or they're shrewd and don't want fuckwits who live paycheck to paycheck to hassle them.

                          [–]cryptoreporter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          deleted What is this?

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Look I'm all for not disclosing your salary to a plate you are spinning and have no serious commitment to, but unless the pretext has been set upfront that it is a purely a sexual relationship and nothing more, then she is well within her right to inquire to ensure you aren't a drug dealer or on welfare.

                          Something is amiss here. Either your post lacks all the details, or you didn't set the expectations upfront right with your plate. Either way, I'm going with your fault here.

                          [–]Pada_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          I dont know if its offtopic, but if i was in that place and got asked how many i have, i would say "enough"

                          i mean women dont tell their age ,men their money

                          but yeah you did well moving on, she doent worth anything more.

                          [–]Supernova141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          lmfao i would have broken up with you too. If you don't trust someone with info like that you don't belong in a long term relationship with them.

                          From your post, it really sounds like you just wanted her pussy but didn't want to share any important life info with her.

                          [–]Huskimbo9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Didn't even tell my mother how much I made. When she asked I said I forgot.coulda gave a better answer but eh.

                          [–]Shadowban_deeznuts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          Told mine. She told her parents. They never shutup about her paying half of the bills.

                          Fucking Democrats.

                          Bitch we aint married. Pay your half.

                          She still pays half.

                          [–]SasquatchMcKraken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          A big-ass salute for your frame maintenance, sir. The vast majority of men would've buckled and shown their hand. I'm sure even I would've said something like "bitch I'm actually very well off, thank you very much. Have a nice life." Your shrugging her gold-digging ass off and gliding away from the situation is a model for all of us.

                          [–]longschlong12 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                          These bitches be cray. Although i would assume the reason she asked you that question is because she sees you as a BB provider.

                          Never in my life have i ever seen or heard a broad with an AF ask him about his money or if he has a job, i have seen woman buy and pay for shit for an AF. A woman would do anything to keep an AF around her, period.

                          [–]Frdl 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                          OP is confused as fuck. He refers to this woman as LTR/Plate. Someone please tell me what the fuck that is because I'm all ears.

                          [–]longschlong12 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                          She's the only bitch he's fucking i guess

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          I have never understood people who tell people (not anonymously on the internet), how much money they make or have. You don't gain anything from it.

                          If you make more or a lot more than someone, either they will resent/be bitter towards you, or try to take advantage of you. If you make less or have a lot less money than someone and they know, they will act like they are superior to you.

                          Nothing good comes out of telling people how much money you have. This is a good article on it: http://www.financialsamurai.com/never-tell-anyone-how-much-money-you-make/

                          [–]Conceited-Monkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          In fairness to the girl, if all she sees is a guy who lounges in bed every day until noon, and speaks vaguely about his investments, she might be forgiven for thinking she is shacking up with a deadbeat. If she was asking to see your tax returns, that would be a different story. A lot of guys claim to financially solid when they are basically $30k millionaires, and lots of women are so ill-informed to not understand this.

                          [–]ransay3277 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          I find this is true because women are attracted to the trappings of wealth and not wealth itself.

                          [–]PissedPajamas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          You're holding her up to the standards that you, as a man, have set for women. This is flawed logic because we value different things as men, and have different virtues due to our nature

                          She doesn't wanna date a loser, she wants reassurance that you can hold your ground and can provide some kind of security for her, it's only fair that she looks out for herself.

                          If this was a plate then you don't have the right to tell her anything about your life, but this could've been a comfort test you failed, you didn't give enough detail in the OP the decipher what kind of test this was.

                          In any case, you should've reassured her that whatever financial problem came your way you can deal with it and she doesn't have to worry, or played it off by saying you'd get her the world if she asked for it, with a cheeky smile.

                          Don't shut women down for being women, learn to understand why she's testing you and how to overcome each test with confidence.

                          [–]joh2141 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          IMO Most women are going to ask you about your income, even the ones that are allegedly unicorns. It's natural unless she has more money than you. Also even if you HAVE money, if you won't dispense even a little for her, she's going to want to back out of the relationship.

                          Yes I understand how women are petty and materialistic cunts like that but you also have to understand that this is in her nature. Just like it is in our nature to want to fuck many different hot chicks. You can't start hating on every women who question what your finances are like. When a woman asks what your finances are like, she's considering your future together. Now if you don't give a shit about LTR, that's fine. I don't either. But this kind of advice is mostly for people who DO engage in LTRs. You can't just try to persuade a group of people to just start hating women. That's how MRA got the label for being a loser/bitter.

                          When you see women acting in the same fallacy that is the female brain that deals with validating emotions over logic, that's not something you should HATE women for or hold against them. Just understand this is the way we are. And because our society is so blue pilled, we wrap the idea that we HAVE to look out for women because by nature they are weaker.

                          [–]Skirtsmoother 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Why, though? If you plan a future with someone, you need to know how much they're making. You should have just told her ''I have enough''.

                          [–]ThePwnter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Omg I would have told her by text how much had exactly, and THEN proceed to never talk to her again.

                          [–]excal10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          I think it's good to prove to her that you have money by spending it. Don't tell her a specific amount but she should be able to figure out that you have enough money to buy what you want.

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          I know how much my girlfriend makes and she knows how much I make. Edit: been together 6 years.

                          [–]excal10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          I didn't even try to argue against it because I know that I deserve better. This made her very upset and today she messaged me saying she misses me.

                          She probably thinks that you have resources but you simply didn't want to tell her. She questioned her assumptions about your financial state.

                          [–]bunz-o-matic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          So the story that /u/ColdIceZero told prompted me to implement what I'm about to explain.

                          Once I filed for divorce and became single again, I downsized everything. I live in a piece of shit house now, I try and dress like an "average" dude (wear t-shirts, shorts and flip-flops everywhere if it's an option). I don't like to give any indicators that I have an abundance of money. I don't drive a a BMW anymore, and I don't go to nice restaurants or take them on fancy dates. In fact, I actively try and hide any indications that I have money from plates.

                          When they ask what I do for a living or how much I make, I LIE! I tell them I make substantially less than what I really do and I try to make sure what I tell them is less than what they make and judge their reactions based on that info.

                          Plates and LTR's are different stories though. I will tell a LTR the truth about what I do for a living, but won't tell her how much I make.

                          It's been a pretty successful way to keep the snakes out of the grass.

                          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                          [deleted]

                          [–]justgotalpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Well friend, that showed you she just wanted your money and not you. If she broke up with you for not disclosing your assets she was never into you ,thats the best thing that could of happen , getting divorce raped would had been WORST!!!

                          [–]yummyluckycharms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          This is a pet peeve of mine, and unfortunately, there is a plague of women in the city that I live in with women feeling they need to know your credit rating and your bank account statement. Partially this is due to the high cost of living in toronto, but also because many women are desperately looking for beta bucks with the MGTOW movement being so strong here.

                          Ultimately, it backfires on them but how many women do you think are able to connect the dots?

                          [–]Taguroizumo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Just keep it simple, say you are out of work with no job prospects. Saves you both a lot of time and grief

                          [–]funny_lyfe 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                          OP I think it's okay to tell people what you do. Otherwise how do you differentiate from losers. Now don't tell them how much you make but you clearly never proved that you have enough money, and a career.

                          I wouldn't date a beat beat woman either. She'll have to show me that she has a career, goals to date me.

                          [–]brettfromtibet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Side note: in Japan, "how much is your salary?" (kuryo ikura?) is an extremely common and acceptable question for a woman to ask a man she met 2 minutes prior at a party. It's not culturally considered rude, it's just a natural follow up after "What do you do?"

                          You don't have to answer it with a literal numerical figure if you don't want to, you can just say: "not bad" or something, but if it's nothing to be ashamed of it's quite common for people to say: 400,000/yem (per month).

                          [–]NotNormal2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          She has every right if she thinks you are a lazy bum.

                          [–]Totulkaos6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          I'm personally not so sure she was out of line...?

                          I'm a dude and if I was in a serious relationship with a girl and it was leading to marriage I'd like to know how much she makes, and I'd assume she'd want to know how much I make....

                          I don't understand why her wanting to know about your financial situation is a bad thing...I mean you supposedly rich so maybe you don't care but say you had no savings, wouldn't you be kinda interested in how much your so other makes, ya know being that your probably gonna be buying property and raising children together....know how much money you'll have as a family is kinda something you'd wanna know...

                          [–]BadNerfAgent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          You should have shown her after she split up with you.

                          [–]InternetForumMod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          You should totally tell her now and watch the hamster try and wiggle through that one.

                          [–]hijiggy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          This is ridiculous.

                          You want feminine women but then when women ACT like women by being interested in your earnings and yes wanting you to treat them. Then people get all frustrated.

                          I haven't posted here in a long time and quite frankly, I've grown out of this sub.

                          The basics of RedPill is good but people take it way too far and this is a perfect example of taking it too far.

                          You've got six stacks saved up and can't take the broad out for a nice dinner at a cool restaurant.

                          Money doesn't mean a thing if the person with it has no substance.

                          [–]StinkyDogFarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          She made an ultimatum and you held frame. Don't date her again. Fuck buddy her, wrap it and flush the condom, she will try to get pregnant to lock you down. Make sure she knows you're Fucking other chicks and she totally blew it. Lol, you are going to ruin this broad.

                          [–]Landry86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Her pushiness is inappropriate. You not being comfortable with telling her says a lot also. With the right woman things would have been different. She wouldn't ask and you wouldn't be afraid to reveal it either

                          I'm glad you don't have to deal with her rudeness anymore

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