Red Pill TheoryWomen are petrified of failure. Use that. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardArchwinger

We live in a society where women are denied a very important right that cripples them: Women are denied the right to fail.

Women are predisposed to avoid risk. This biological advantage dates back to ancient times, because women get pregnant and have babies. So women dying in large numbers meant bad things for large populations of humans. This is why ancient women cowered in the herd, learned how to forage in groups, how to fit in, and how to start fucking the conquering men if any of them ran in and killed all of the current men in the tribe. Women survived by avoiding risk.

Women today are much the same as women were back in ancient times. Most women try very hard to fit in with a herd, to work with groups, and to avoid conflict and confrontation with men. Women today avoid risk.

This leads to women applying for sub-par jobs, being afraid to negotiate for salaries or ask for raises or promotions, and being petrified of admitting that the reason they don’t succeed is their fear and not the evil patriarchy making them worry about being seen as bitchy.

This leads to women selecting college majors based on what comes easily to them rather than where the money and jobs are. Because women genuinely believe that if they are not predisposed to naturally do well at something, then they weren’t meant to do it. The idea of sucking terribly at something, working very hard to improve, investing time and energy into improvement, and quite possibly still sucking at it and failing is completely alien to women. Because investing your time and energy into learning and improving at something when there is no guarantee of a good outcome is risky. You can fail. And women are not allowed to fail.

This also leads to women sucking at work, because when you ask a female employee to start doing something new in addition to her current duties, and she doesn’t know how to do that new thing and isn’t good at that type of activity, she’s going to bitch. She’s going to complain that this isn’t her job and that she shouldn’t have to do this thing. She will accuse you of singling her out, being mean, being sexist, and sue the company, all to avoid failing at this activity she’s not good at doing.

Women are afraid to fail, and society encourages this and coddles them and never holds them accountable or puts their feet to the fire, so that they never have to fail. Society denies women the gift of failure, which is just about the most anti-female, anti-feminist, woman-hating act possible.

This shit starts young and goes on throughout a woman’s life. My daughter is only five, and she’s already afraid to fail. And my wife is in her 30s, and she’s even more afraid to fail. And my mom is in her 60s, and she’s petrified of failure.

We make our daughter do all kinds of activities, even if she sucks at them, and unlike most of the other upper middle class suburbanite parents, we don’t let our kid quit activities just because they’re hard and she keeps losing competitions. We just make her practice more, and she still loses. Which is fine. She’s five. Five year olds are supposed to have problems scoring soccer goals from large distances, swimming across an Olympic sized pool, beating a bigger, older kid at a marital art, and playing a piano sonata.

But the more we push our girl to try things and fail, the more she comes up with defense mechanisms to avoid failure. Her latest gimmick is as acting very obviously silly when she attempts something, so that nobody thinks that she’s actually trying her hardest. That way, when she fails, she was just being silly, not actually failing. I’m not sure if it’s possible to train a woman to be okay with failure, but we’re trying.

My wife simply stonewalls and won’t do anything if she thinks it will be hard. When she won’t go to the gym or for a jog or rock-climbing with me, I just shrug and invite a group of our yoga pants soccer mom neighbors. So far, getting hot and sweaty with pretty, fit women hasn’t been enough to make my wife actually start jogging, but it’s been great for getting me yelled at for about ten minutes, ignored for about two hours, then fucked for about an hour after that. I usually use the last part of the two-hour ignoring period to shower and shave so I’m nice and clean for sex.

My mom, who is ever-the-narcissist, lies. Whatever you try to get her to do, she swears up and down that she already knows all about it, used to do that activity religiously in her youth, and has practically invented the way that activity works today. And if I'm good at it, she probably taught me how when I was younger and I just forgot. But it’s been so long since she’s done anything like that, so she’s not willing to try today. But she insists that she definitely knows all about whatever the topic is, which should definitely impress you, so please validate her.

Women are born with an innate fear of failure. A woman will only undertake a task if she expects to be able to do it well, and will make all kinds of excuses to avoid doing a task where failure is possible. This is true in all circles. The nerdy girl hanging out with gamers won’t play a video game she isn’t good at in front of the guys. She’ll just watch. The girl who isn’t already in shape won’t go to the gym alone. The girl who can’t sing won’t do karaoke unless a whole group of people goes on stage with her, or unless she has a group of friends egging her on, at which point she’ll act like my five-year-old by pretending she’s just being silly and not actually failing.

This is something you can use.

Assign tasks to your women. Ask them to do things, but always make sure that the things you are asking are well within their abilities. When a woman can complete a task for you easily, she’s less likely to give you push-back when you ask, and she feels good about herself for being capable of something. And she grows accustomed to following your instructions.

Neg your women by asking them to do things you know they can’t do well, but that they ought to be able to do. When your woman can’t cook and you hand her a knife to chop potatoes for dinner, you can tease the ever living fuck out of her when she refuses and gives you some kind of crazy excuse about how she worked so hard doing this other thing for you today and why she shouldn’t have to help with dinner. When your woman can’t catch a Frisbee and all of your friends are playing while she just watches and pretends she doesn’t want to play and doesn’t like Frisbee, throw it at her anyway.

Use a woman’s fear of failure to make her feel inadequate, like she needs to prove herself to you. Get her accustomed to making excuses to you when she won’t try something. This gets her used to feeling like she needs to justify herself to you.

On the other side of the coin, you, as a man, need to embrace failure. Try things, fail, improve, and grow. But remember: Women hate failure and have a complete inability to imagine that anybody else in the world could possibly live or think differently than they do. So don’t talk about your failures and shortcomings with women you’re trying to fuck. Save your self-improvement activities for your bros. Women need to think that you're innately and naturally good at things, because that's the only way they believe it's possible to be good at something. Because in their coddled and child-like world, failure doesn't exist.

Check out this and other content at The Red Pill's off-Reddit site. Here's a link.

[–]IblizTrigga 167 points168 points  (11 children)

Women need to think that you're innately and naturally good at things, because that's the only way they believe it's possible to be good at something. Because in their coddled and child-like world, failure doesn't exist.


I never thought of that, and it makes perfect sense. Men, who have experienced failure, see failure not as a sign of weakness, but as a step on the path towards strength. On the other hand, women, who never experience failure and thus don't see its value, can only view it as a sign of weakness and ineptitude.

[–]WhorehouseVet 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Another way to say it is that women can only appreciate a man's success, but never the steps that the man took to get there.

You have 6 packs, all she cares about is that you had a 6 packs, not the amount of time you spent at the gym and meal prep.

I never talk about how much time and energy I spent to get me to where I am, only that I'm better now than I was a few years ago.

[–]jahozafet points points [recovered]

Women don't give a SHIT about potential.

[–]ImHereAtLast 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Smart ones do. They're out there, trust me.

[–]Bulk_king11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. My women sees all the hard work it took to get my body. All the times I didn't stay home when she asked and busted out 2 hours of intense training at the gym. I believe she cares more about that hard work I put in than the 6 pack itself

[–]IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 14 points15 points  (2 children)

The idea that a man can actually get BETTER at something is absolutely terrifying to women. Simply because they can't afford to accidently become impregnated by a beta male masquerading as an alpha. If the REAL alpha finds out, she'll be kicked out of the tribe, starve, and die.

In girl world, there are only natural alphas, and natural betas. It's all genes--your starting position is also your finishing position. Whatever you appear to be within the first few seconds of her meeting you, that's when the "imprint" happens, and that's how she'll see you forever after. Go ahead and start a rock band, cure cancer, save the world, doesn't matter. As far as girls are concerned: once a beta, always a beta. For them, it's all about getting access to those NATURAL alpha genes.

Several years ago, I had a female friend that, at the time, I thought I was very much in love with. Classic one-itis. Hung out for a few months, I finally broached the "Why aren't we together??" question, she deflected with "Well I'm going back to England soon, why don't we see where we're at when I return in a few months..." I figured great, here's my chance, to really show her how awesome I can be.

I hit the gym HARD, dieted even harder, lost a ton of weight (like 60 pounds in those few months), put on a ton of muscle to boot (that took a bit longer), and when I finally saw her again almost a full year later (her return to NYC was delayed a bit), instead of her being thrilled with my radical body transformation, she was like "Oh, yeah, hey, you look great..."

She said it exactly like I'd just gotten a haircut that she didn't approve of (at all), and yet was too polite to say anything about it to my face.

Needless to say, we hung out once and, after I discovered she'd been fucking a Norwegian pick up artist for the entire preceding year (picked her up right off the street with a daygame approach, and in NYC no less, so she'd kept him a secret all that time, I was taking her out while he was fucking her "for free" on the side), I quickly cut her out of my life. (Looking back, that whole episode was classic TRP 101.)

But yeah, learn the lesson and learn it well: NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU IMPROVE, IF YOU LOOK LIKE A BETA WHEN YOU MEET HER, SHE'LL ALWAYS THINK OF YOU AS A BETA AFTER THAT. FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. Nothing you can do, NOTHING, will ever, ever change that. Seriously, I saw pics of the guy this girl was with, and I was like What the fuck, I'm actually much better looking than he is (now). But of course from HER perspective, she sees my awesome new body (that I worked on, HARD, for a full fucking year, to the exclusion of almost all else), and she's thinking: why is this beta PRETENDING to be an alpha?? Why is this SHEEP wearing a WOLF'S costume??

You should always be improving for yourself, absolutely--but if you're improving your life in ANY way (your body, your money, your status, whatever) in order to impress a woman, forget it gents, her decision about you was already made (hint: it's a NO), and nothing you do will ever, ever change that. All you can do is cut her out, continuing improving, and start over later with a new girl and a clean slate.

This is one of those things that I really wish was sidebar material. So much newbie angst could be avoided if we drilled this in, hard, right up front.

[–]mconnergibson 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is a good point and it explains the feminist response to game. On one hand they claim it's ridiculous and doesn't work. On the other hand they are enraged about it because, well, deep in their hind brains, they know it does work.

And as they hold those two contradictory Notions in their heads at the same time, they also fail to acknowledge that if it is offensive and misogynist and all those other things they say about it, the obvious solution is to stop responding to men who behave in those particular ways.

But ultimately that's not what they want to do. they're not interested in changing their own behavior or the behavior that they reward. Deep in their hind brains, what they are really worried about is being fooled by the false Alpha. They don't want the wrong men to behave in the right ways.

[–]IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Deep in their hind brains, what they are really worried about is being fooled by the false Alpha.

That's exactly it. God forbid they get impregnated by the false alpha (the beta), and then give birth to beta babies. That really would be the end of everything.

[–]godfatherchimp 12 points13 points  (0 children)

can only view it as a sign of weakness and ineptitude.

And they ruthlessly view it so. Look at the way women treat betas they perceive as failures. They're basically not even people.

[–]aanarchist 14 points15 points  (1 child)

only the most feeble minded and sheltered women think that way. if she has any life experience at all, like literally any, she'll understand that success is paved with failures.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 57 points58 points  (0 children)

You, like many who come here, mistake the angle of approach as the cerebrum. We're talking about her amygdala, the land of the tingles. The irrational 'brain'. We at trp dont care about her intellectual processes. It's nothing but a smoke screen and barrier to entry most of the time.

A woman may understand logically that failure is a part of life, but her amygdala doesnt register that. Failure is always unattractive regardless of its justification. Even the 'real, intelligent' women you implied exist.

[–]newName543456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that's also why they hate PUA/TRP. They don't accept that you weren't just born with it and getting it from the beginning.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 111 points112 points  (12 children)

The classic example of women refusing to own their failure is when a relationship ends. If a breakup ends then the man is obviously an abusive asshole and the relationship was 100% toxic.

There is no introspection about what she did wrong and how she can use that information to improve her next relationship, job or whatever. When all failure is someone else's fault there is never an incentive to improve.

Delusion in the name of protecting the ego has no limit. I know a girl who claims her former boyfriend was abusive never mind that he's a passive Asian who is incapable of aggression.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (1 child)

A few years ago I read a book by a female journalist examining this very thing. She laid out how women will spends months, often even years, conducting a whisper campaign against the s.o. She'll do this until she's certain she can leave without being seen as bad. They know what they are doing, they still deny it though.

[–]_the_shape_ 16 points17 points  (0 children)

They know what they are doing, they still deny it though

Absolutely, and this is an admittedly tough part of the pill to swallow - not to expect women to own up to their transgressions, even in the face of damning, irrefutable evidence (ex. "you made me cheat!")

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (2 children)

This. When a relationship ends it is automatically assumed to be the man's fault. Look at Brad Pitt's contrived mea culpa "oh I was a drunk and I ruined my marriage". This is all bullshit, it is a narrative fed to him by his agent so that he can swiftly be loved by the gynocracy again. He is playing to the only tune they understand. When a relationship ends, the guy is always at fault, then comes the allegations of financial, domestic, physical and mental "abuse". Abuse is a catch all term which really means "I was a cunt and I cannot admit it".

[–]yomo86 2 points3 points  (1 child)

From my wisdom of being old as fuck with 30.

Let me tell you, women know that they re-phrase and spin reality. When I had drinks with a former classmate from middle school we shared break-up stories. And after I shared my plight, straight from the whores mouth she said: Well it is always the man's fault, didn't you know? She said it with a smirk of understanding.

Basically she admitted and knew that when other women complain about a relationship endings, it does simply not matter. I guess that's also why they have no problem of fucking guys who have been badmouthed by their former girl-friends before. The only ones who are buying the boyfriend-is-to-blame excuse are betas. Those guys they need provisioning for and are afraid of alienating them.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. The problem isnthe betas make up 80% of society so when a woman exits a relationship and says: "he abused me" then that mud sticks. The poor guy cannot defend himself and even if he is proven innocent his reputation is damaged. Betas suck!

[–]TheRedChemist 23 points24 points  (1 child)

This is where the modern trend to proclaim "men and women are exactly the same" is incredibly damaging to the mental health of all people.

During a breakup and in the aftermath, you wind up with men introspecting heavily and expecting women to be the same. When he finally admits to himself that she simply can't, all he can conclude is that that one girl was a bad one - but the next one will be fine. Surely.

Meanwhile women don't introspect at all and are instead reinforced in externalising all blame, then wondering why they keep getting into the same situations. Must be because all men are pigs.

End result: unhappy confused frustrated people with absolutely no idea how to relate to the opposite sex.

[–]bigk12345 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You nailed it.

False equalism hopes are detrimental to both sexes.

Women expect you to "just get it" because they lack basic introspection and expect you to understand their experience. They want you to understand how she feels.

Men just take women at their word, because you know, women and men are rational beings.

I see so many guys just disappointed at how women are stupid and cannot act like adults. In other words, they expect them to act like men. This faulty expectation of equalism takes away the man's burden of performance.

[–]Shakydrummer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The classic example of women refusing to own their failure is when a relationship ends. If a breakup ends then the man is obviously an abusive asshole and the relationship was 100% toxic.

There is no introspection about what she did wrong and how she can use that information to improve her next relationship, job or whatever. When all failure is someone else's fault there is never an incentive to improve.

Holy fucking this. Literally that was what her/her friends were saying about me. Right before my ltr crashed I had a long talk with her in which I basically called her on her bullshit, then at that point soon not even a week later she cheated then branch swung on some other dude she had lined up. I still have this feeling that if I just put my tail between my legs and said that it was all my fault then the relationship would have continued...but what self respecting man would stay in something like that is beyond me.

[–]kupakuma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uh.. my Asianness is so triggered right now.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (5 children)

This can work the other way, especially in a work setting. When a woman finds something she can safely do, she'll often work it far more diligently than a man would so that that becomes her thing. This is what she does, this and this alone. It is an effort to ensure that once she's found her place she is never required, or even asked, to do anything else. You can use this as well to maximize benefits from a woman.

[–]br_21 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Not that I disagreed with the point, but I disagreed that they'd work more diligently than a man (or another woman) would. Almost everyone is replaceable and good chance there is someone who is willing to try and outwork you to be that replacement. I see it more as entrenchment, where they've found their comfort zone and they'll defend against threats to it. If they feel their position is threatened, they’ll attempt to sabotage rather than improve themselves. Someone can and will be better than them if they don’t find a way to stop it from happening. That, or they’ll ‘help’ the threat find another role to fill. Examples I see, and not just with women, are when they filled a role and then plateaued in development since they aren’t willing or able to put in the effort to improve. The value is in the attrition of their tenure, and while they could be easily replaceable, they reliably fill a role and will continue to do so. Likely it’s something others of value will master and move on from or decide it’s not worth the effort to dislodge the incumbent from that task.

[–]e4tshit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

where they've found their comfort zone and they'll defend against threats to it.

they reliably fill a role and will continue to do so

Watched this in action last night while watching a documentary about a large off grid community in the AZ desert. There's a part when they cut to a old woman and she speaks about needed to be useful so she can feel security in the group.

Start @ 14:25 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VICOY_CVaHs

"This is my community service..I need to um,,be attached to something larger than myself....certainly I feel protected, loved here, I'm the oldest woman here of course. "

No more youth left. Life on easy mode is over, the never ending party is over. No ones trying to fuck her anymore because she's old. The best tool in her tool bag is gone so now it's about making sure she builds ties with her tribe so she can feel safe knowing she won't be cast out.

[–]1TimmyTurnersNuts 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Literally experience this at work. One girl does only one thing and wears it like a badge of honor.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 42 points43 points  (8 children)


  • Men are risk takers.

  • Women are risk avoiders


This is really a deep truth. (could become a Red Pill core definition)

Men almost like risk for pleasure. (we over do risk for the heck of it)


[–]MAX_Fury 2 points3 points  (2 children)

you are the only guy who uses a lot of spaces

[–]NeoreactionSafe 8 points9 points  (1 child)


Very observant.


[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Women will take risks by fucking Chad though. They know he will probably pump and dump.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Women are driven by Feelz to accept Chad into their life.

Hypergamy is the drive of women to submit to the guy who optimizes her Feelz and Chad achieves that.

It's "Feelz before Reals".

But Chad fails miserably in the "Reals" department and might be some low status guy. I always joke that Chad runs a Porta Potty Cleaning Business so we say he has a "shitty job".

The Alpha Male is a different type because he has authentic high status within the overall society.

Chad might be in prison... of low social status... but women get Tingles from him.

What a man defines as "risk" is based on the "Reals".

Women see that fucking a beta male is "high risk" because she might get pregnant and be forced to raise a beta male's child... that's really scary for her.

This means that based on "Feelz" Chad is "low risk"... she is certain to Tingle for Chad.

Women prefer that within the "Reals" they are "low risk" but in the "Feelz" they risk everything.


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chad's not a risk. He gave her tingles, which is second to none as far as currency goes. Right after that on her list is money, children (ehhhhh, not all women), and shiny things.

[–]greatslyfer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could be the reason why there are much more men in gambling than women.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Some young women are good in sales as they get meetings and men want to interact with them.

These women need a manager though. They absolutely wont have difficult conversations with clients as all they want to do is bask in the good part of the job

[–]1OneRedYear 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Yah. You cannot let them be in charge of billing at all. They will give away the farm to continue to feel good. We raised our rates and they hate it. They don't feel good about asking for more money or dealing with any sort of conflict.

[–]I_AM_CALAMITY 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I keep track of how beta I am by checking if I follow patterns identified about women on here. Without fail, I always match the patterns. I have a long way to go.

This year, however, I have tried embracing conflict, strongly negotiating and I have improved in that regard.

[–]cashmoney_x 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"Assign tasks to your women. Ask them to do things, but always make sure that the things you are asking are well within their abilities. When a woman can complete a task for you easily, she’s less likely to give you push-back when you ask, and she feels good about herself for being capable of something. And she grows accustomed to following your instructions."

And don't forget to tell her "good girl" and slap her on the ass on the way out.

Oh, and lift.

[–]easternrogue 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This should be on the side bar.

[–]gideon_zotero points points [recovered]

Risk is not necessary to women. Their default is to have value. Men don't, at the lowest point they need to contribute labor.

So when you ask your women to do, or try...it doesn't tickle their survival instinct, sucking at something doesn't make them feel worthless. That's a male cognitive pattern.

What does tickle them is loss of status. Failing socially, being under the social spotlight and exposed does hurt their chance at being a prime wife, a matriarch and so on. The cost and the emotional pain, isn't as profound as being a useless man but when you live in a tribe that gave you a very high status by default there's a lot of falling you can do, therefore the risk of failing is larger and the cost of not trying is less than in a male counterpart.

We are just different' we have different personality dimensions(emotional triggers), we have different behavioural patters(things we find easier and harder) and we want different results within society.(crucial part here is "want", your women "want" to please you and have your approval, not to actually succeed, that's why they deflect, just go trough the motions or lie)

And I don't think that is a bad thing, I don't think they need to progress or improve, just teach them not to fail and when they fall to fall as slowly as possible(stay fit, get a degree, keep your legs closed and marry early).

They have a good thing going and society is quite cushy for them until they fuck themselfs over with short term thinking and ego fluffing which make them really fast.

But, that's just a subjective view, you treat your women how you see fit, I just think you're working against the tide and their intrinsic biological advantages.

I do want to argue that the social tides are way more destructive to men. In order to "equalize" the genders(to be read: hold men down) has pushed feminine value judgments on men and they left them unable to climb and develop as individuals which means that they are left outside of functional society at the bottom of the pecking order and told that that's where they belong - "the feminist male ally". This is marginally criminal. Because unlike women, men can not jump in status based on their partner. They aren't as plastic and adaptive as women and usually a loser will forever be a loser if that is the world view that he absorbed as a young boy.

I heard a very interesting analogy to this just today from J. Peterson on Rubin. He's argument against ADHD meds is that they suppress the exploratory and creative component of a male child's personality which basically removes their biological urge to play. And playing is a crucial behaviour because that's how we learn: how to be social, how to interact with the other sex, how to learn, how to explore our limitations and fear. In a sense, cutting out the biological function of the male personality: the emotional triggers that shape our behaviour, that in term developed our personality and identity.

And that, that is utterly terrifying, because for better or worse, you can fix bad cognitive patterns by doing something different and reigniting more sustainable wiring(swallowing the red pill, self help). You can replace bad behavioural patterns by starving bad neural patterns. (rehab, monk mode, no fap). But if you chemically under-develop the brain, temporarily lobotomizing "male brain" chemically during their crucial years of development....how can you ever recover?

[–]ProfoundSavage 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And this, fellas, is why our SMV value increases the longer we live. our ability to fail our way to success, fail our way to self-improvement which explains the HUGE gap in our emotional maturity with women of the same age. the constant, consistent introspection over the years is valuable. great post!

[–]Frendu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The more resourceful you are the more risk you can afford to indulge in.

[–]ECoast_Man 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great post.

Anyone who has ever played anything as simple as a board game with a girl knows this. I've seen each caricature - refusing to play, the "silly defence" you described by your daughter (this is extremely common), all the way to flat out quitting and storming out of the room.

[–]Andreas1871 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This is so black and white, and no references to any actual research, I can't take this post seriously, sorry.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Tell you what. You go try that respectful, egalitarian emotional connection thing and let us know how it works out.

[–]Andreas1871 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It has been working really well actually. The key is finding someone who shares your core values, and then you can be equals.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]Unlucky_Leader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A biological root that can now help in sexual strategy it's insightful.

The second thing is that when I try something new activities(fishing/golfing/martial arts); and its the same thing over and over. Failure comes as part of it, but I find my tolerance for it is much lower having started later in life, and I find myself wanting to quit often.

[–]Docbear64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of a party I went to with a plate and I had drunk way way too much and I like to dance sober or not .So drunkenness + music meant I was dancing like a drunk sorority girl to everything ( Britney spears , Nsync, Trance shit , whatever . In the past I'd mentioned dancing with her a thousand times and was always met with a petrified " I could never do that" But as she saw me drunkenly sloppily dancing she started to dance with me ( also thanks to alcohol . It was a stupid bit of fun for 20 minutes or but It shocked me how much she relished our drunken dance together ( she'd talk about it months later still). Her friends ended up dancing with us too and by the end of the night she had gotten me a chance to fuck her and a chick I had been commenting on all night in her friends bed .

What's the lesson in my stupid embarrassing drunken example ? My drunken confidence pushed her to try something new, I didn't come off suave or impressive but I did get her to step out of her comfort zone and because of that my value to her and I think her own perception of herself improved at least for a night.

Women are definitely generally insecure as fuck that's why they find so much of their personal value linked to the men they are with . Also a reason why they enjoy leeching off the interests of a man they are attracted to . It's one of those things that make me pity them I think many women find their identity in the men they are with .

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorBlacklabellogics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you start a new activity you are supposed to be bad at it, that's how you improve, learning from failing at something. The Universe has this strange way of rewarding persistence in the face of failure.

[–]Siimerik01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And that is why men raised by single mothers have a massive cognitive dissonance after being told they are naturally awesome at everything.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is hormonal/biological. risk taking is highly proportional to testosterone levels. the average man has 10-20x more T than the average woman.

if you look at early primate tribes, societies where women took risks, or were not shielded from risk died off. they went extinct. men are disposable. a single man can repopulate an entire tribe, having tens of thousands of offspring. a single woman in full-on baby-making mode from puberty to menopause tops out at ~20 children. stone-age tribes required birth replacement rates in double digits just to have stable population, nevermind growth. look at family trees even from the 1600s and women regularly had 10+ kids. even in the early 1900s, ~8 women per thousand died during childbirth, and 10% of infants died before reaching age 1. women needed to pump out babies or the tribe would die off. and women don't get to pump out babies if they're taking risks.

this is also why women never have agency. they will never take responsibility for a failure. ever. if there is a risk of failure, they will ask a man for some sort of nod of approval so that if it fails, she can blame him. if no man is available, they will poll the group for consensus, such that "the group" said it was okay. both of these are typically used to absolve her of responsibility.

[–]LOST_TALE[🍰] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Maybe you just have a shitty sample and terrible parenting. Your kid is not enjoying herself and you are forcing that.

Terrible parents choose terrible partners. You wouldn't guess.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Shitty parenting is trying to make your kid happy instead of successful. You can feed your offspring candy and tell them how special they are. Mine can break your kids' arms on the playground.

[–]LOST_TALE[🍰] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

you forgot to tell me on how your wife also kicks ass

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

She kicks ass because she and I are on the same page regarding pushing our kid to succeed rather than being her buddy, coddling her self-esteem, and letting her quit anything that's hard or makes her feel bad the second she stops winning easily.

Do you even have kids? At least read a book on parenting or something. Make real friends instead of trying to be friends with your kid. Your job is to turn your kid into a successful adult. Not into a happy teenager.

[–]LOST_TALE[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I believe I'm way beyond such basic considerations.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoops. Spotted the cheeto-crusted mgtow video gamer!

[–]PlumbumGus 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Just dropping by to say, "fuck all of you."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love you little buddy! Keep at it! You'll get there!

Edit: You can do it!

[–]Fontess 3 points4 points  (1 child)

and its not just that. In these rare moments when woman actually fails, man should be the one who takes responsibility of her failing.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No reason why not. Might as well own it and fix some shit. She's going to blame one of the men in her life anyway.

[–]SSJ_Trunks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sadly this is how I feel, I don't know why. Really scared of failure/risk. I am a man...

[–]Broseidon241 2 points3 points  (7 children)

FYI this isn't just women, this is a human being thing. This whole sub is about teaching men to stop being afraid of failure, to start taking risks without undue anxiety, etc.

It's a lovely narrative you've made, but it's wrong.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Worrying about whether a statement about women is also true about men is an excellent strategy for homosexual and bisexual guys who are interested in strategies for fucking men.

I admire your openness and courage and have no issue with men like you benefitting from my advice.

[–]I_AM_CALAMITY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could copy and paste this 100 times every day on here. Perfect response

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

NAWALT right? It's a matter of degrees. All you have to do is leave your house to observe and understand women are much more risk adverse, less introspective, less analytical, etc. It's irrelevant if the narrative is feminist and that behavior is socially conditioned or redpill and biologically driven. The facts on the ground can't be gaslighted.

[–]Broseidon241 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"All you have to do is leave your house"

I prefer evidence to story time, thanks.

[–]Acquin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Use a woman’s fear of failure to make her feel inadequate, like she needs to prove herself to you.

This doesn't always work. Sometimes it just makes them feel pressured and uncomfortable as it would to a male. Use with caution and control.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You have to pick a thing that the woman is supposed to know how to do (something most people can do), and ask her it in front of others. They hate taking a status hit worse than they hate failing.

[–]jetsetter883 0 points1 point  (2 children)

So then why are they attracted to men if men are taking the risks?

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Men shoulder the burdens and risks for women. And the blame if something doesn't work out.

[–]Hoodwink 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are attracted to successful risk takers.

Successful being the operative word. Bad risk takers lose their money, social status, and/or health.

[–]DartWager 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Do you have any advice for a male who is also sometimes afraid of failing?

I do stuff that I am bad at, but I am still uncomfortable doing it.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Suck it up, Princess. You should always feel a little uncomfortable. That's part of being a man. There might be a hungry predator around the next hill. And you're always on edge, because that edge might save you where a comfortable, weak man or a woman would get eaten.

If you're ever completely comfortable, you're failing at life.

[–]Scroph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Risk taking shouldn't be glorified in my opinion. Taking a risk with a 90% guarantee of failure is a recipe for disaster, especially if the reward isn't worth it.

Good example of risk taking : forcing yourself out of your comfort zone every once in a while.

Bad example of risk taking : getting married.

[–]1ozaku7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imo women avoid risk because they are raised like the little princesses they are. You can slap a boy if he does wrong but a crying little girl will get cuddles for fucking something up on purpose. We are all afraid to fail, but the difference between men and women is that men just try and do their best not to fail, while women don't try and avoid failure, because they are used to getting what they want either way.

I know women who have to puke before they have to make a phonecall, or get a breakdown when they have to drive 350 miles to another state (which is nothing but highway miles). It's to the point where it simply sickens me. It has nothing to do with evolution, our caveman times, or any of that. It's how genders are raised. Clinton only ran for president because she's a bitch that tries to get what she wants, and essentially has some male traits that brought her so far. No woman that avoids risk would ever be in the position to even get close to being a candidate. There should be some studies out there. I read that a man who grew up with older sisters is more empathetic, while women with older brothers are more risk-taking and chase their goals.

It all comes down to how the genders are being raised, and noone wants to deal with a emotionally unstable little girl because their emotions are multiplied by 3 in comparison to boys. It's one reason why I don't really feel anything when I make a woman cry after explaining to her why she fucked up and why she will keep fucking up. Simply because she wants to have the cake and eat it too, without having to actually make it herself and risking it might taste or look like shit.

[–]LOST_TALE[🍰] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

believe that if they are not predisposed to naturally do well at something, then they weren’t meant to do it

that's smart. You want an 60IQ moron to try math research?