Red Pill TheoryCorollary to the Abundance Mentality: Stop trying to be friends with everyone (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by trpjack


There's no reason to be friends with everyone. Schools teach us to respect others, but how often does that respect actually come around?


We've all met really shitty people - both men and women. Society, especially school and college, tells us that we should be friendly and courteous towards others. Yet again and again, guys come to TRP and lament about how awful they are being treated and how unfair the world is. Regardless of how kind or considerate we are, that doesn't matter. A lot of people out there are trying to screw you over in one way or another.

Stop trying to be friends with everyone. If someone is an asshat, or if some woman is a bitch, stop interacting with them. Block them off on social media (FB, snapchat, etc.). Use that blocking liberally. You don't need to "stay connected" with their life. Your Facebook account doesn't have to be filled with literally everyone you have met once or barely know. Adopt the abundance mentality. There's better people out there and you don't need to fake being friends with shitheads.


Stop being friends with everyone. Adopt the abundance mentality.

[–]QualityTrees 188 points189 points  (6 children)

I agree. I always look down on dudes trying to please everyone. Just gives off a super beta vibe to me.

[–]notmaht points points [recovered]

Can agree, was me in high school because I was afraid of confrontation. Finally grew a pair and been straight up with myself and others with no fear. Cut the bullshit out of my life, started lifting and built up my confidence. No one needs to be in your life, make them feel the need that they have to be in your life while you continue to do your own thing.

[–]QualityTrees 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I was the same way as well. Don't get me wrong it's important to be respectful and cordial to people, but don't feel the need to kiss their ass.

[–]Poofysmoof 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Don't mistake pleasing everyone with that man being sought after. Since taking the pill I have people follow me around. Some will just stand there wanting to talk more but I've been the one having to cut people off. Now I have noticed some men who don't want to submit to my aura but I really dgaf but I'd say this don't be the hater.

[–]gideon_zotero points points [recovered]

So? let them please you. Followers follow. Let them follow you. Let them join and provide entertainment and services for your girls.

They are just ugly chicks dude. Relax.

[–]RedPillStoryTime 134 points135 points  (48 children)

"A ruler in power and a man seeking power are two different things. For the ruler already in power generosity is dangerous; for the man seeking power it is essential."

Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince.

[–]mEtherium points points [recovered]

Great quote. Using this quote as a starting point, I'm gonna take a slightly different view to OP. Hear me out.

First of all, I use the term friend loosely. When I say it, I mean acquaintance. You should try to have as many acquaintances as possible. Now, you shouldn't be a door mat as some people have alluded to in this thread. So don't let people walk all over you. However, as much as you can, try to be on good terms with everyone and have a general rapport.

Why, may you ask? I will start by saying it depends what game you are playing. If you are not being Machiavellian and trying to get as far up to the top of the pyramid as you can, then sure. Fuck putting up with people's bullshit. Tell people that annoy you to fuck off - this is why the concept of fuck you money exists. It's a measure of the point of the pyramid where you feel like you dont have to accommodate anyone anymore. Few people reach this. (Sidenote:I think it starts at about 2 mill, but will depend on your lifestyle goals. Some really frugal people say 500K. My ideal is 5M, but 2 would be enough.)

Ok, so if you are playing the climibing pyramid game, competing for social status etc, the you need people on your side. That's because as a general rule, you can't win in life if people are not on your side. So you need to be the type of person who when people hear your name or see you, they say YES instead of NO. This is why its important to have a general rapport with people,. Unfortunately, what comes with this is that sometimes you have to put up with their bullshit. But if you are focused on the end game, this is a small price to pay. Nothing in life is free.

I recognize that this is a controversial view, but it has served me very well in life. People are often shocked at how deep my network is. Back in the day I was talking to my professor (ex biglaw guy, worth 10-15 mill). He said the most important piece of advice I can give you is to connect with as many people as you can. He said his biggest regret was that he didn't do that. He said after 20 years of this activity a person is insanely connected. If you are in the game (whatever your game of choice is) then you will need those connections. Not everyone who is useful is pleasant. Accept this and stay focused on what you want.

Now, how does this fit into the Machiavelli quote above? My interpretation: The statistical truth is that very few of us are "already rulers". Many of us here, ultimately, are seeking power. Hence, as the great Mach tells us, we must be generous (in the way I described above) in order to maximize our power in the way we can.

NOTE, once again: This does not mean be a doormat. It's a balancing act as everything is in life.

[–]yunhaila 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Lessons I take from your comment:

  1. Be polite and cordial with people who add positively to your support system.

  2. Invest in people that bring value to your world.

  3. Keep your friends few, but your acquaintances plentiful.

  4. If they can add value to your life, but you do not like who they are, remain on friendly terms just in case.

  5. Build a network of people you actually care about. Investing in these people will come naturally if you genuinely think they are positive additions to your life.

  6. Work slowly, these relationships build up through the years. Don't try too hard, but also try to make at least something out of meeting people.

[–]gistaminute 8 points9 points  (13 children)

One thing to look out for is covert narcs. They'll tip swaths of people against you given the chance, sometimes the spouse of an associate who wishes they had your life.

[–]7a7p 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Nothing like the shit talkers.

[–]gistaminute 2 points3 points  (3 children)

No kidding. It's a jungle. It's motivation to just be Don Draper all the time. WWDD got me through the first few months on RP... I've softened a lot, and it's cost.

[–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What's an example of applying WWDD?

[–]gistaminute 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I was at the time a gelatinous blob of blue pill wakeup turds. Basics like walking gracefully, standing up straight, not being too chatty, holding eye contact, dressing well in the morning, etc. I was deep as fuck in anger mode; basic reprogramming.

If I were to apply it now, at work it would be harder given I don't have any actual power and he was the boss. In friendships, it's thinking about what he'd share with his friends. It boils down to time is money, I think. Wish I could give you something more solid, like I said it was a crutch in the beginning which was several years ago.

[–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like a useful tool, not a crutch. As long as you don't take it too seriously. And if you moved on, that's a good sign

[–]mEtherium points points [recovered]

Can you expand more on this piece of advice? I'd like to understand it better as it sounds useful. I'm not 100% clear on which side you are approaching it from.

Are you saying given a large enough group of acquaintances, some will be back stabbers?

Also re people turning against you, I have usually felt that when it comes down to it most people will judge you based on their interactions with them?

[–]gistaminute 4 points5 points  (6 children)

In the professional sense, when one mixes friendship it's easy to get crossed. Eg. you tell the guy who sits next to you something benign (to him, he's cool), and he tells it all to his wife, who then lets it slip at the company christmas party in-front of your boss. Fake scenario, hope you get the picture.

Narc, narcissist--on YouTube there are some channels with self-help stuff, coming to understand what the behavior of the clinical term is. It's essentially a total lack of empathy... overt being like a rich bratty girl with no self control, covert being a passive aggressive little bitch. I've had an infestation of both types, finally figuring it out. (It's important to accept our own role in the relationship, and own our healing, and understand they are passing on their injuries). We all have some of those tendencies as they're self-preservation at their core. It's more about ownership of our action and self control... ie. it can be hard to glean, though a simple test for empathy is invaluable (I need to review, forgot a specific one). I think the answer is to keep anyone associated with those at a distance. Unfortunately some good, old friends can fail to meet that by association... doesn't mean they need to be totally cut, but if the guy is going to tell his wife everything then one can't tell him anymore, you know. I've seen situations where both very well paid pros though, so it could vary in degrees as the stakes are high (2-300k incomes, 7-8 figure acquisitions; great, but always hungry for more).

[–]kellykebab 9 points10 points  (5 children)

You know that "narc" comes from narcotics officer and is slang for snitch, right? I have never heard it as an abbreviation for narcissist.

[–]gistaminute 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Yea that's where I originally heard it. Thought it would be obvious from the context.

[–]kellykebab 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I guess. That other comment where you say "covert narcs" def sounds like narcs in the traditional sense. Whatever, no biggie man

[–]gistaminute 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Good feedback, I'll consider that. I didn't consider people might still use it, as I've not heard it like that in a looooong time. Cheers

[–]Cookiest 8 points9 points  (17 children)

As someone climbing up the pyramid, this is how I view Mach as well.

Side note: my FU money is $25 mil.

[–]mEtherium points points [recovered]

Respect brother, get that bread.

If you are shooting for that, you already know the stats. But just to throw out the numbers for others who don't know:

A high net worth individual (HNWI) is defined as 1M+ networth (excluding home).

An ultra high networth individual (UHNWI) is 30M+ networth.

As of 2013 (available data), there were 13M HNWI, and 200K UHNWI.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

So out of ~7 billion people, less than a quarter million are truly top-tier elite. There's some perspective for you.

[–]rigbed 10 points11 points  (0 children)

While quite a few of us are technically 1%

[–]harkrank points points [recovered]

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You're setting that goal so you can rationalize not taking the next step in your personal development.

Is be delighted to hear what you can do with $25 mil that you can't with $50k that is worthwhile. Reminds me of the guy who won't go for his oneitis but is waiting 300 years for the "right" moment.

[–]kellykebab 5 points6 points  (7 children)

You could get a pretty dope car or two with 25 mil. You could get a boat and hold boat parties. You could own several businesses and reap the rewards of stimulating relationships and building a legacy. You could go on vacation every other weekend. You could pay top performers to coach you in multiple hobbies.

Is your question for real? You could do a lot more with 25 mil than 50k. That guy might never get there, but obviously some people are industrious enough to do so. It's not a completely outlandish goal.

[–]MrBellsprout123 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What's the difference between someone with 25 mil and someone with 50k is the POTENTIAL to do different things. If I had 25 mil I would probably just continue living life as if I owned 50k and still be perfectly content, but that fact that I knew I could go out and buy a lambo if I wanted to, that would make me happy.

[–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess. If I had 25 mil, I would for sure buy a Ferrari and a dope motorcycle. I would also invest conservatively so as to build on my wealth. But you better believe I would act on some of that potential.

[–]harkrank points points [recovered]

Are these worthwhile things? Boat parties? A fast and comfortable car can easily be had for 50k. Getting out on the water is no problem either for that money. You can start up a successful business with 50k or less, you can travel the world for a long time with 50k. You can fuck the finest whores until you're sick of it for 50k.

If you're saving up money for a boat or anything else you should go and get a taste of it before you commit your life to it. There is nothing that a man needs $25 million for.

[–]kellykebab 2 points3 points  (3 children)

This conversation is mystifying to me. You could clearly do all those things with 25 mil rather than only one of them ever.

It's not about need. No one needs to make more than 15k per year. And 25 mil is not a typical threshold for contentment in life. But dude, 50k either in savings or a yearly income is not in any way "fuck you" money. That is middle class and is not going to allow you to design a highly autonomous life of luxury that some people want.

Owning a boat as well as a fun car is not just about the possessions, it's also about the ability to have fun experiences. If I owned a sailboat, had 2 mil in the bank and owned a company that could run itself, I could take a year off to literally explore the fucking globe. That doesn't seem like an interesting use of time to you?

[–]harkrank points points [recovered]

Some men can say "fuck you!" with no possessions but the clothes they wear. That's what you should strive for instead of trying to make $25 mil. Setting a goal that high just shows that the person absolutely don't want to say "fuck you!".

No company runs itself. You can't buy a 25 mil company and just leave it and hope it does fine. I've taken more than years of to explore the globe and I've never been a millionaire. Better to do it while you're young than thinking you'll get anything out of it by the time you've managed to build tens of millions of dollars in wealth.

Being able to do what you want and not letting anybody rule you is a mindset, not a number on a bank account. 50k is absolutely "fuck you" money for anybody with some balls.

"As soon as..." is running from fear and will always fail to take you further in life.

[–]juliusstreicher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some men can say "fuck you!" with no possessions but the clothes they wear.

Yep. My brother was like that. He died a miserable death. (Not joking for effect.)

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some men can say "fuck you!" with no possessions but the clothes they wear. That's what you should strive for instead of trying to make $25 mil. Setting a goal that high just shows that the person absolutely don't want to say "fuck you!".

And those men risk ending up as bums on the street. If you don't have fuck you money you are your employer's bitch. You slave your time for coin. Even if you love your job, you will constantly make compromises. Doesn't matter the proffesion. You can't say 'fuck you', can't take time off whenever you want, have to plan each dolar in advance.

No company runs itself. You can't buy a 25 mil company and just leave it and hope it does fine. I've taken more than years of to explore the globe and I've never been a millionaire. Better to do it while you're young than thinking you'll get anything out of it by the time you've managed to build tens of millions of dollars in wealth.

Lol. You don't have to be a CEO. You can be an investor and let other smarter men with more time on their hands to run the business. $25 mil net worth is enough to invest in multiple companies, well known, startups, stocks, buy several houses etc. For a constant, diversified and safe income.

Being able to do what you want and not letting anybody rule you is a mindset, not a number on a bank account. 50k is absolutely "fuck you" money for anybody with some balls.

If you live in rural Africa maybe. If you live in the city in a western country and live paycheck to paycheck, if you loose your job and can't find another one in 3 months, you are fucked.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You buy Time. While you slave daily from 9 to 5 in your cubical, or for whatever shitty job you have for 50k, the $25 mil guy does whatever the fuck he wants whenever it pleases him.

You buy Status. While you barely get 100 birthday wishes on facebook, the $25 mil guy gets hundred of people kissing his ass on a daily basis.

You buy SMV. While you try to game HB7 bitches on Tinder or in nightclubs and get rejected most often than not, the $25mil guy has 3somes with playboy models on his yacht.

You buy Health. While you live in pain and disconfort because your insurance (assuming you have one) doesn't cover whatever procedure you need, the $25mil guy has access to the best doctors, latest technology, stem cells theraphy, the best treatment money can buy, 24/7.

[–]juliusstreicher 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'd be delighted to hear what you can do with $25 mil that you can't with $50k that is worthwhile.

Are you kidding? I was at a trade show last week, and I saw an F150 that was selling for over 50K, and it wasn't tricked out unnecessarily, it was for working oilmen. So, to answer your question, BUYING THAT FUCKING TRUCK IS SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN DO WITH 25M THAT YOU CAN'T WITH 50K!!!!!!!!!! Oh, that, and having something to live on for the rest of the year. In comfort.

GTFO with your 50K.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You're in law school I take it? Is it worth it? I'm a recent college grad considering all options

[–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. But the way I see being generous is this (this is what I personally do). Being a broke ass undergrad student (who still can't get women), doesn't mean that I have no way of being 'generous' with people. I try to help out people in any way I can and provide value. That includes giving people lecture recordings, lecture slides, helping them out if I can (and if it doesn't inconvenience me too much).

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think more important than net worth is monthly income. You can easily have fuck you money at 500k net worth if you have a profitable business, or more than one. If you just have a couple apartments but also pay rent, you just get by. At 2 mil you're good no matter what, but again, depends what your monthly income is. Someone worth 500k can have more fuck you money than someone worth 2 mil.

[–]Atticus_Crowley 4 points5 points  (5 children)

I mean I like Machiavelli, but didn't he just write the prince as a way to validate/schmooze up to the royal family at the time? I have a hard time being able to apply his beliefs to life when they weren't really meant to be so...at least from my understanding.

[–]NickA97 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Basically, but he's the father of political realism, and although he wasn't a supporter of the monarchy, he did know how power works and how to maintain it as a prince.

[–]RedPillStoryTime 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Machiavelli was a diplomat and wrote The Prince as his understanding of the complex political realm of Renaissance Florence.

So utilizing his political philosophies becomes essential in understanding how to navigate the complex social hierarchies in modern society, as it relates to power and social status.

With respect to the quote I gave, the modern relevance is that typically people on a lower tier of social value within a social dynamic will use generosity as a means to gain favour with their peers who they may perceive are above them on the social hierarchy, or use generosity to gain favour with peers on equal social standing. For example you buy the first round for the boys on Friday night. In theory you're all on relatively the same social standing, however, in buying the first round of beers, you've temporarily gained favour in the power dynamic of the group. So if you asked your boy for a small favour immediately after the drinks arrived, he might be more inclined to help you move on Sunday.

While at the top of the social hierarchy, generosity is considered a weakness. Take the Blue Pill providers as the example. Before their asses were locked down in miserable marriages, they attracted their wife by demonstrating that they can provide essentials for her and potential offspring such as; food, shelter, protection. Yet in modern society once the Beta is married, the power dynamic can easily shift, as the wife now understands that she's signed on for half of the marital assets. The male role in the family should be to lead the domestic kingdom by earning the respect of his kin by being the provider and protector. However in a Beta Buck marriage dynamic, this is not the case, as the ability for the male to provide for the tribe is now considered a source of weakness (look at most of the divorce stories from this sub). Their generosity and ability to provide for the tribe now opens the floodgates in divorce court for alimony, child support and division of marital assets.

Edit: formatting

[–]CommonSenseCitizen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the reason for writing the book does not discount or invalidate the ageless wisdom inside it.

His writings were meant to be applied to life.

[–]onisun326 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Good message, just title is a bit off. Try to be friends with everyone (networking is super valuable these days), but don´t be friends with toxic twats and losers.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Your Facebook account doesn't have to be filled with literally everyone you have met once or barely know.

Better yet, delete your facebook account.

[–]beam_me_up2017 points points [recovered]

Use that blocking liberally.


I joyfully deleted a third of my Facebook "friends" two months ago, including some family. Why? I've kept a mental record of people that I have directly messaged (via PM or a wall post) that never replied. If we're "friends" or "family" and I ask you something, you should fucking answer, otherwise you're exactly the same as nobody to me.

If you can't be bothered to respond (though you made plenty of political posts since) then I delete you. If you don't value me, I don't value you.

That said, there is no fucking point to having 2000 Facebook friends. At that point you're literally adding random people at bars. Quality over quantity. Better to have 2 great friends than 50 half-assed acquaintances.

[–]trpjack[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Absolutely in agreement. I use Facebook to keep connected with friends, not for self-validation from acquaintances.

[–]S5M 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Thank you. Anyone who leaves me on seen, i dont ever talk with again.

Whats the point? Clearly they think they are better than me if they dont think im worth replying to.

And no they arent busy. I know cause it says they are active.

GUYS do this too. People are so obessed with not being percieved as needy so they ACT busy.

Close friends who do this, i call them out. They stopped.

Not close friends, i dont bother. They are dead to me

EDIT: What's worse is when they see the message preview and dont bother opening the message so it wont be SEEN.

[–]rathyAro 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Doesn't someone have to be left on seen eventually?

[–]S5M 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When I say leave on seen, I mean they looked at what I had to say and ignored it when they shouldve responded.

For ex.

me: hey are you busy tomorrow?

them: seen

Thats bad.

them:They check out my pet!

me: cute!

them: seen

Thats OKAY.

[–]whuttupfoo 11 points12 points  (3 children)

This a really bad mindset to have. People are busy. Everyone has their own lives. They have the right to not respond to messages. They could be in the most depressed state of all time and you're here complaining about a read receipt. If you choose to be offended by that, you need to go back and get your self-esteem up.

You shouldn't even be able to remember who hasn't responded to your messages. A man of high value doesn't even remember who he's talking to half the time, because so many people are trying to reach out.

[–]1theoctopuss 4 points5 points  (1 child)

They have the right to not respond just like OP has the right to delete them. Who gives a fuck if they're depressed? I wouldn't associate with someone like that anyways.

Also, quit the moralizing. Just because something doesn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for others.

[–]whuttupfoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you missed my point. It's not about morality. It's about not getting offended by something so minuscule. A read receipt shouldn't even be on the radar of your life's problems. Your message wasn't a priority at the time. Accept it, don't get butt hurt by it. You aren't the most important person in the world.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Facebook actually filters out messages from people based on some algorithm dealing with past interactions etc.

I found some messages from people I would have gladly answered had I known they messaged me:


[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Doesn't having "2000" friends shown on your list provide social proof to the ladies of your high SMV?

[–]atomsk413 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sounds like you set the bar way to high to begin with... very reactionary over rejection.

[–]7a7p 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I don't respond to messages at all. I'm on an iPhone and didn't download the separate app they want me to use just to directly message. I figured if they really need to get ahold of me they will.

If that's enough to block me then please do so lol

[–]kellykebab 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Keeping track like that is kinda weird dude. Probably better trying to be the kind of person that people want to message back than punishing them when they don't.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

There's a distinct difference between "being friends" and "maintaining a social network." I was taught to be kind toward everyone and it resulted in my being a shitty judge of character who struggled to say "no." This is unacceptable.

What is acceptable is maintaining a network of acquaintances, even acquaintances you don't particularly like, because it affords you certain opportunities. You know who doesn't get those opportunities? The dick who thinks he's better than everyone and acts like it. You know who does? The guy who is respectful but not cowardly. You can maintain contact with people without being a doormat and you should do just that where possible. People who try to keep you underfoot, however, should be removed.

Don't be a social whore and avoid offending to please everyone, but don't be the pussy who can't stand to engage with people who challenge him.

Edit: That awkward moment when you try to decide whether you are internalizing core concepts or are contributing to the noise factor because everyone who came before you said the exact same damn thing.

[–]yummyluckycharms 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If someone is toxic - regardless of who they are - cut them out of your life.

[–]Docbear64 11 points12 points  (1 child)

The older I get the more I learn people are really into being a part of your life or not . Some people in my life I know I could ask to go out for a drink or dinner tonight and they'd gladly show up whenever , wherever if they could . There are others that I could offer them a blowjob and my paycheck for the week and they still wouldn't come by to even say hello .

Unless you are connected to someone through business or something or have some sort of social value to you I don't know why people entertain individuals from the second group . A night out with good friends is priceless, a night out with shit heads who wish they were anywhere else is a waste of time . That goes for plates, friends, hell I'd even put some family members in that bucket.

[–]RedPillJohnny 8 points9 points  (0 children)

...and try to befriend more men...not beta pussies, real men, hopefully like yourself.

[–]1nzgs 11 points12 points  (0 children)

A man with no enemies is a man with no principles

[–]MaDSteeZe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can be friendly with everyone but you can't be everyone's friend.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Fantastic post. One of the worst pieces of programming men are hit with, is the "treat others how you'd like to be treated!" line.

If only the reality of human psychology and behavior reflected this...

We live in a capitalist society. Beyond being friendly and building acquaintances for potential future leverage (as another poster beautifully stated), people in positions of power and influence aren't following the same "rules" the surfs and peasants (working class/BP Matrix slaves) do.

It's plain as day, especially once you start running your own business, learn how to market, sell, and basically never need to rely on a salary or 9-5. You learn that money and positioning comes via emotional influence and persuasion of large markets of (usually) BP people. RP products will sell, but usually you'll find yourself marketing to higher income brackets (people with more emotional control think more logically, and thus have more income and resources - funny how that works!). You learn how to stop being a people pleaser by learning to SELL.

Most people will bullshit you and say they're nice because it's who they are. Watch how sketchy their behavior becomes when they find out they might be getting laid off, lose their house, or that their wife is fucking the neighbor while they're at the 9-5 paying off the credit-fueled honey moon from five years back. They have to rely on a boss. Their entire life worth is tethered to some asshole who knows all of this and is using leverage.

Being nice to everyone only gets you so far, before you encounter smarter people who know the game better than you. That's where the true test begins, gents.

That's why I always suggest starting a business - any business - for yourself. Learn to sell, learn to persuade, learn that 95% of human interaction is bullshit ego feeding, and it's time to accept that if annoying, slow, clueless people won't get out of your way - the least they can do is pay you and help your mission!

The world is very different when you don't need to rely on (continue being "nice" to) people you despise just to keep your lights on/stomach full. How convenient it is that most operate and live under such fear controls, thus stifling their potential and creating the Chinese fingertrap/catch 22 reality of "damned if I do, damned if I don't". Living off credit, above their means, and then screaming "the rich are hoarding the wealth, raise the minimum wage!. 100% BULLSHIT.

TL;DR: keep you and your missions the #1 priority. You have zero obligation to others - especially when it comes to their personal emotional maintenance and temperament. Clueless BP mindsets can be leveraged for consistent monthly revenue. You don't have to be a blunt asshole; be respectful, but refuse cowardice in yourself and others. Use your knowledge to your advantage.

[–]orgbug -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Not sure how this demonstrates that you should not "treat others how you'd like to be treated"

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It's not so much that/why you shouldn't treat others as you'd like to be treated, but rather asserting the reality that most people do not base reciprocity on how YOU behave. They're going to be assholes/ignorant regardless. Keeping this in mind prevents you from wasting unnecessary energy on people who aren't worth it.

Prime example; I have a female who worked in my space for the last three months. She's ignorantly selfish; she's not smart enough to be manipulative, she just lacks awareness. She double books on me constantly. After being nice, friendly, giving her millions of chances, she still leaves unacceptable amounts of work for me at the end of the day.

If she was doing her job, there shouldn't be this much excess BS going on. She's NOT doing her job, of course! No matter how nice, professional, and caring I was toward her, the results were the same. Does not register. She's been fired, btw. 90 day probationary trials are a beautiful thing. Always have a contract ready for people working with you.

Now, this is at a place of business where she's generating money, not simply just "doing favors" off the clock/in the street/at the club with no safety net. I can't imagine what this person is like on their own time. This goes for both males and females. This example just happened to be my last nightmare associate.

You NEED a stubborn filtering device, if you will. You need acquaintances in business. Learning how to filter the optimal from the suboptimal is a skill learned through experience. Take it as you will. Apply what works for you, leave what doesn't for another day.

[–]orgbug 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ah ok. So if the roles were reversed - you would not expect people to be super nice to you because you weren't doing your job. That's fair.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Precisely. Even outside of jobs, I don't expect anything from anyone. Thus, it's very hard to be disappointed as often. Then, it only sucks when people you genuinely trust end up pulling the same BS. Live and learn.

[–]vinsonandmassif 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don't understand this - if you're cool with almost everyone, isn't that abundance mentality?

[–]jdgalt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Abundance mentality says you should avoid ever needing another person; there are always more. That is not the same thing as giving everyone the brush-off, but neither does it mean keeping in your life everyone who is willing to be there. Some of them are needy themselves, and if that sums up your connection with them, you're better off getting rid of them.

[–]10J18R1A 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everybody should be your friend; you shouldn't be everybody's friend

[–]JackWithTheHammer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stop being friends with everybody.

Check ✅

So ronery...

[–]whatever9855 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think better advice would be to always try, but if it isn't reciprocated, move on

[–]dankvibez 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I guess at the end of highschool or beginning of college I just decided not to TRY to make friends anymore. I am socially well off enough to the point where, if I want someone to like me, I can get them to like me.

But the thing is, I just figured there is a limited amount of time and I want my friends to be people who like me just because of who I am. I don't bother avoiding subjects/saying things that might offend someone who isn't like minded after hanging out with them more than once. If they don't like it, they don't have to be my friend, I don't care if you don't like me. It doesn't bother me because through this method, I've made plenty of great friends and I don't need to pretend to be someone else to get more.

I do understand though, maybe you have to be less picky about friends if you are going to a new place, but I think overtime you need to weed out who you just hung out with due to convenience and who you hang out with because you actually like them.

[–]Sumsar01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I recommend just stopping following people on facebook. It's always good to have and network or at least social proof.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, pretty much. Find the people who want to be friends with you. Also lol Facebook

[–]1legedu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just the opposite. Everyone should be friends with you.

[–]mikas75 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this kind of short posts that tells everything you have to know in less than 2 minutes instead of beating around the bush for like half an hour ( like Woujo) !

[–]1Original_Dankster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd go one further. Not only do you need to cut out folks if they're an asshat or a bitch, quality is better than quantity.

In my 20s, I cultivated hundreds of friends. I was the party man in the university crowd, an electronic musician in the rave scene (this was the mid 90s mind you), I had no shortage of people I could call "friends". Yet it was all very shallow. I couldn't rely on most of those folks to help me on moving day for instance.

Now in my 40s, I hang with less than a dozen people, three of whom I see pretty frequently (3/ week or so) and we're really tight. The rest I keep at arms length as mere acquaintances. I won't make plans with them but I'm friendly and sociable when we meet by happenstance. I can make two observations from this change of outlook.

  1. First, because I don't pursue friendship with my acquaintances, it makes me more desirable to be around. Dudes assume I'm up to some really cool shit since I'm rarely available (being 40-ish with no kids and having genuinely cool hobbies helps) and they want to associate with me. This strengthens my reputation amongst both men and women in my extended circle.

  2. Second, the small number of real friendships I do have, they're absolutely rock-solid. I'd drop plans to pick up the guy at the airport or to help him move, and they'd do the same for me. If you're single (or plate spinning) you probably don't have a spouse to rely on for that sort of shit. Having dudes who you're really tight with offers a sort of support network. You can't cultivate friendships that close when you're being the social butterfly.

[–]Run_Che 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Respect should be earned, not given.

[–]tolerantman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post!

I would avoid however saying things like "society does X" we all know who you are talking about, no reason to hide it, WOMEN tells us that we should respect and love everyone, which is a lie.

[–]MrBellsprout123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my opinion you should be a huge douchebag to everyone you meet. And only when they PROVE to YOU that they should be treated with respect that you start being nice to them.

People tend to live their lives by this philosophy:

I will be a very nice guy, and when I'm a douchebag that will be the exception.

I believe that life should be lived the opposite:

Be a douchebag all the time, and when I'm nice, that should be the exception.

I'm openly hostile to most people in my life, I don't trust anyone when I first meet them and I don't respect them until they prove to me they deserve my respect. So when I am nice to someone, they KNOW I mean it. And when I'm nice to someone its a BIG FUCKING DEAL, and means a lot more to that particular person than if some beta buck was nice to them.

I'm a douchebag about everything that doesn't matter. Manners, letting women go first, being respectful. However everything that does matter I'm always very respectful, the other day I saw a guy drop a 20 dollar bill on the ground, I grabbed it, and gave it to the guy. I'm not gonna rob you, I'm not do anything to you that's going to permanently effect your life, I'll hurt your feelings, but not your life.

Its not guys like me that people need to be concerned about. Its those "nice" guys, those are the motherfuckers that you need to be worried about.

I understand the word "douchebag" is very subjective, but I think most people will understand what I mean.

[–]Tephra1879 0 points1 point  (2 children)

shittiest people i ever met were from Commiefornia

[–]Med_rapper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell me more. I'm a medical student from South Africa looking at taking an elective at Stanford University

[–]RedPillJohnny -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You mean the People's gaypublic of drugafornia?