Today I ended my LTR

omonicor · 2017-05-16T04:12:28+00:00

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beta_no_mo · 2017-05-16T02:49:25+00:00

"You're so selfish" is exactly the play my ex-wife of 15 years tries to still use on me for the end of our marriage. She fucked another dude with my kids in the next room while I was overseas, but I'm selfish for not just getting over it, basically.

omonicor · 2017-05-16T03:12:56+00:00

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JohnnyCocktails93 · 2017-05-16T02:54:53+00:00

Good shit man. A toxic LTR is like a narcotic. Nothing like the rush when things are going well but eventually you have to know where to draw the line before it takes over your life.

Best of luck to you as your reclaim your headspace and improve yourself.

TheNaBr · 2017-05-16T02:50:50+00:00

You're actually nice, not wasting her biological clock time. You're a saint.

Lotus_towers · 2017-05-16T04:34:32+00:00

Here's why you have onenitis, you are trying to rationalize why she did it, why she betrayed you.

The first thing to do is accept that is her nature and you can't turn a ho into a housewife. Or a wife in general.

Secondly, I commend you for breaking things but I think you shouldn't have taken her back after ghosting her.

Thirdly, fuck that bitch and her "youre so selfish" betamale shaming attempt, she was selfish enough to forget you when she cheated. She will do it again if you take her back, except this time she'll make it hard for you to find out.

Think of her as a lesson well learnt, now toss that garbage of an ex out of your house and hit the gym. Good luck OP!

suske127 · 2017-05-16T05:19:14+00:00

When she said, "you're so selfish" you know right away you made a good decision. A woman should never disrespect you that way when you leave her, she should be upset; she was likely to cheat again.

I'm sorry to hear it but I'm happy for you brother! Keep growing and find a better gal for the next LTR. Glad you're happy and feel better!

trp_angry_dwarf · 2017-05-16T06:06:43+00:00

Fast forward 6 months and she'll want to "catch up over drinks".

omonicor · 2017-05-16T04:49:34+00:00

For those of us confused* by OP's ex's reaction:

Women value emotional fidelity, men value actual fidelity. Unfortunately women are incapable of understanding this due to solipsism.

*all 2 of you

StinkyDogFarts · 2017-05-16T08:17:10+00:00

"you're so selfish" is what super selfish people like to throw out there

aanarchist · 2017-05-16T04:55:31+00:00

good job saying no to being host to a parasite

redpillschool · 2017-05-16T14:09:33+00:00

First of all, this is great reason why I never moved in with a girl, because it leaves you with a lot less options when it comes time to end it. Make sure she has her own place, even if she sleeps over a lot.

Secondly, congrats on leaving the LTR. I have just recently had a similar experience and I will tell you that when you've got oneitis, it hurts a lot. But you'll look back at the new freedom you have and reminisce about this experience in the future.

Mr_Talent · 2017-05-16T10:14:37+00:00

You're so selfish and you think only in yourself

She cheats and you're selfish... because fuck logic!

Frenetic_Zetetic · 2017-05-16T08:41:50+00:00

Congrats, OP! Now, wait for her to text you in 12 weeks asking to "catch up", "grab lunch", or "get drinks".

STAND YOUR GROUND!

Shakydrummer · 2017-05-16T07:27:17+00:00

If they either blame you, or blame it on being confused or sad or something equally as stupid, you're making the right decision. There may be bad days that bring up old emotions so always remember why you made the choice you did and stand firm in it. Good on you man.

GreatMenderTeapill · 2017-05-16T14:51:20+00:00

Go get a haircut, lift, get some sun. Go to a social place near you with your head held high. It will be a faint memory soon my man.

Throwawaysteve123456 · 2017-05-16T03:33:04+00:00

Man you're a real selfish guy OP.

comptejete · 2017-05-16T11:40:25+00:00

All this time didn't matter?

Aside from being a sunk cost fallacy, the first corollary of Briffault's Law is clear on her perspective:

"Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association."

patpend · 2017-05-16T15:08:00+00:00

"There's someone else?" based on zero evidence.

Huge red flag her mindset is you cheating is somehow a more reasonable conclusion for the breakup than her cheating.

mr_nepotism · 2017-05-16T08:10:03+00:00

Good on you brother. Women like that only tend to stick around until something "better" comes along, and then they're gone! She's a hypocrite in every sense of the meaning.

SpecOpsAlpha · 2017-05-16T13:09:15+00:00

Glad you weren't married and there weren't any kids involved. Move on and don't give up on having a good LTR.

ChooseWisely72 · 2017-05-16T15:54:36+00:00

I'm selfish??? You cheated you fucking goddamn slut! Did you do it for someone else or yourself? Fuck off you hypocritical bitch. YOU destroyed what I felt for you, no one else. Go find someone else to treat like shit. Hope you get cheated on too so you know how it feels cunt.

[deleted] · 2017-05-21T01:36:37+00:00

I stayed with my gf until she cheated AGAIN. You didnt even give your girl a CHANCE to cheat on you again, AND you totally took control of the situation. THEREFORE, you were more alpha in your actions than i was in a similar situation

BaffoStyle · 2017-05-16T08:48:34+00:00

You did well. Your feeling good with yourself and your pride are more valuable than a girl

justicecantakeanap · 2017-05-16T09:56:42+00:00

well done op, onwards and upwards

omonicor · 2017-05-16T13:56:09+00:00

Good on you for choosing to not be her little cuck boi.

omonicor · 2017-05-16T14:47:02+00:00

She is the selfish one. She willingly took off her clothes and let another man pound her pussy (while probably screaming his name, etc), all while in a relationship with you.

I'm glad you ended it.

iOSvista · 2017-05-16T15:34:56+00:00

I went through the same exact thing only she never admitted to it despite having caught her red handed in a huge lie about where she was. After 3 months she wriggled her way back in. 6 months later I still couldn't believe her or move on and quietly died a little more everytime I kissed her. Eventually I broke up, but long after leaving her emotionally

StuttBuffer · 2017-05-16T16:32:11+00:00

That's almost the exact same series of events as my last LTR. Getting out of that jealous mindfuck of a situation was a tough choice but probably the smartest desicion I've ever made.

Cunt_Robber · 2017-05-16T16:48:23+00:00

Hey OP, wanted you to know youre not alone. I did the same thing with my LTR and had to take a year to recover from the shit she put me through. Sometimes you have to learn these things the hard way. Valuable lessons don't come cheap. So much of your post resonates with me that I wanted to let you know you did the right thing for yourself.

NikoMyshkin · 2017-05-16T18:05:02+00:00

There's never, ever any chance of recovery from cheating. Once you internalise this, its consequences show in your behaviour and on your very face. There's no need to even say it.

[deleted] · 2017-05-16T18:33:09+00:00

It really really irks me that women will cheat on their man and then claim the man is being selfish.

omonicor · 2017-05-16T19:57:50+00:00

She didn't fuck up. She's a female and for all intents and purposes lacks moral agency. You fucked up when you became exclusive with her and moved in with her. Promising exclusivity and living with a female is not advisable to an alpha male. Learn and profit.

KnightOperator · 2017-05-16T21:04:53+00:00

~~I'm sorry to hear~~ welcome back

Roaring40sUK · 2017-05-17T08:32:30+00:00

You have done the right thing.

Leaving aside whether an LTR is a good thing or not, once she has cheated, the Genie is out of the bottle. It will happen again at some point.

Once you break through Oneitis, you will be stonger for it.

What about me?

This, that's all she was ever thinking about... herself.

tallwheel · 2017-05-16T07:56:55+00:00

It goes without saying (and I'm sure you don't need anyone to tell you) but you should have broken up the moment you learned of her cheating. At least next time you will know better than to ever give a cheater a second chance.

Wakinhuakin · 2017-05-16T11:21:58+00:00

I understand the "you're selfish" being a hypocrisy. But she's not completely wrong either. You gave her an opportunity like she said, and she thought that is you guys moving forward. I guess the point is, don't get back together with your exes.

adriaan92 · 2017-05-16T08:39:09+00:00

Sometimes it's too hard to forgive someone for past congruences. It's better this way. She knew what she got into when you guys got back together, that it was about giving it another chance, don't cry if the result is unexpected.

nantucketghost · 2017-05-16T11:06:16+00:00

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Hjalmbere · 2017-05-16T11:38:30+00:00

Good call. Move on with your life.

omonicor · 2017-05-16T12:13:14+00:00

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kaptsea · 2017-05-16T12:30:34+00:00

Go listen to Die my darling and celebrate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoolQUDWq-k

BusterVadge · 2017-05-16T13:34:45+00:00

You did the right thing.

She replied with: "You're so selfish and you think only in yourself, I don't understand this. What about me? All this time didn't matter? So why did you give me an opportunity? For this? ...." and so on.

She should have thought of that when she opened up her legs for another cock. I'm sure she wasn't being selfish at all then.

henry589 · 2017-05-16T13:45:53+00:00

Even pre-trp isn't it logical to leave your LTR if she cheats on you??

TehJimmyy · 2017-05-16T13:53:20+00:00

So why did you give me an opportunity?

She's kinda right. Next time dont loot the trash. Good luck on your journey.

that_italia_guy · 2017-05-16T15:45:04+00:00

The "what about me" comment she said grinds my gears.

JTTRad · 2017-05-16T16:04:43+00:00

Advice bomb: Take a month or two away from 'getting out there'. Hit the gym, get your diet straight, lay off booze, live quite frugally. As summer begins to peak you'll be in better shape, more confident and more money... Then you can 'get out there'. Don't be tempted to go back, happens to the best of us.

FatGirlsInPartyHats · 2017-05-16T18:14:20+00:00

IF she cheats once she'll do it again. Good for you, man!

El_Shakiel · 2017-05-16T18:24:48+00:00

I dont understand how this brings value to this sub but cool for you nontheless

omonicor · 2017-05-16T19:55:21+00:00

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5t3fan0 · 2017-05-16T20:41:24+00:00

its so nice to see a happy tale among all the other depressing or blood-boiling stories.... good on you OP, good luck and thanks for posting this

newName543456 · 2017-05-16T21:03:54+00:00

"I found out that I don't feel good around you because it always reminds me about your cheating, so I want to be ok and I want to end this."

TMI to be honest.

Next time just give her generic excuse like "it's not working out", "I don't think you're the one I am looking for" or something vague like that. Or even what you said, but cut off everything from "because" onwards.

Remember: you don't owe her an explanation.

redman128 · 2017-05-16T22:59:59+00:00

Same story. Same discussions. I blocked her everywhere, called her names and she still tries to get back. Everyday I feel blessed I didn't engage in something binding like marriage or even worse kids. Still young with bright career and many chicks in front of me. ;) Get your lessons and move on.

SheWantsTheDan · 2017-05-16T23:11:18+00:00

Linger on this thread every once and a while reading some of the things. Honestly, this is a great post man. A lot of the shit on here seems to have some kind of hate lingering to it, but it's refreshing to just read about someone just trying to pursue their own happiness without some kind of demeanor being attached to it..

wasabichilifireworks · 2017-05-16T23:56:41+00:00

You made the right choice IMO. Giving a cheater a second chance is inviting it to happen again. Once that boundary has been crossed, there is a high probability it will happen again if the circumstances are right.

stlouisraiders · 2017-05-17T05:13:41+00:00

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zayelion · 2017-05-16T04:28:08+00:00

She replied with: "You're so selfish

Can someone explain that reasoning (non-reasoning)?

2017-05-16T23:48:44+00:00

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Herdsengineers · 2017-05-17T00:19:25+00:00

My ex-wife is a cheater too. She said the exact same shit in her own recipe of word salad. Then when they realize you're not falling for the bullshit anymore, they switch to angry outbursts of varying degrees of severity depending on just how crazy they are.

Better to get rid of them instantly when we catch them cheating. Fuck 'em. Nobody needs that kind of disrespect.

The only ones that are truly sorry are the ones that accept that being dumped is their consequence and simply say their sorry again, and then leave you alone. Nobody is perfect, everyone fucks up, but only the grown ups who have some maturity man-up and accept their consequences gracefully.

omonicor · 2017-05-17T01:06:52+00:00

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ozaku7 · 2017-05-17T01:24:34+00:00

I was with the girl for a year when she cheated.

followed by

"You're so selfish and you think only in yourself, I don't understand this. What about me? All this time didn't matter? So why did you give me an opportunity? For this? There's someone else? ...."

a.k.a. It's okay if I cheat, but not if you cheat. I want all the good feels and none of the bad feels.

Good for you, ditch any chicks that cheats on your ass without question. Or just plate them and fuck others behind their back, let the find out themselves and feel how it is. Might sound selfish, but a chick cheating on you basically gives you a free pass.

dontbedenied · 2017-05-17T01:34:20+00:00

Good for you, man. I dumped my girlfriend a few weeks ago because I was uncomfortable with some shit in her past related to fidelity, and I felt like it was only a matter of time before she cheated on me. Plus she had a shitty attitude around me.

She went crazy when I dumped her and continues to harass me and beg me to take her back. Lots of drama and guilt, like your ex. I took her back once in the past, but not this time. And man, it feels a lot better. I still deal with the irrational feelings of missing her sometimes -- the withdrawal is real, both from an emotional standpoint and a physical standpoint. Maybe you are going through a similar thing. But we're much better off without our exes. Congratulations, amigo.

omonicor · 2017-05-17T01:42:01+00:00

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