Red Pill TheoryHow to Train Your Brain to Wake Up Like a Coked Out Madman (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by youngbullsonline

There’s something about waking up that I love so much. You are here on this beautiful earth for one more day. You didn’t have a stroke in your sleep and die. That’s reason for celebration in itself. How you wake up and stimulate your mind sets up your whole day. I’m a sucker for tips and tricks for gaining that slight edge on my peers, as I’m sure you are as well. Picture how you wake up now. Do you groggily turn off your alarm and stare at your phone for 10 minutes? Crawl to the shower and consider not shaving so you have time to beat your dick? I hope that’s what the majority of people do because that means I am absolutely kicking their ass from the very first second of each day. I view each morning as another opportunity to gain an advantage on everyone else. Most people suck at waking up and wonder why they're tired all day. The morning period is so crucial for daily success because although you’re mind is so fresh, it is at the same time a jumbled mess. Awake but still dreaming. Stiff but full of untapped energy.


Every successful person has their own set of weird and wonky ways to start their day and I’m no exception. Here’s my battle tested method for madman results


1.) Immediately upon waking up thrust your upper body up and toss your dominant hand in the air. What do I mean by that? Picture Usain Bolt's actions after his world record setting 100 meter race. Throw that fucker in the air and pop out of bed. I love this one so much because it forces you to get up and I assure you that after doing this you will not have the urge to lay back down. By doing this quirky motion not only are you waking up, but you are actively putting your mind in a winner’s mentality. What did you just win? Nothing and everything at the same time. Another opportunity on God’s green earth. What more can you ask for? I was amazed by how this one tip could be so effective in my life. The biggest problem with most people is they set 5 alarms and wake up to the last one, so when they finally get up their body is so confused whether they should be awake or not. You will no longer feel half asleep at 10 am because when you swing your arm in the air you are alerting your body it's go time. Even if you don’t read my next actions I want you to give this one a one week trial run and see how you like it. That’s what I did and after that one week it easily became one of my favorite habits.


2.) Dance. Some people say to ‘wake up and do 25 jumping jacks’ to wake up. What are you in the boyscouts? Fuck that sissy shit. Be a man, play some Michael Jackson and let your body go for 5 minutes. Sing in the mirror, run over to your bed and visualize it being a crowd of screaming fans. Channel your inner Michael Jackson then hit the nae nae. Fuck it, pretend you’re in a chris brown music video. I don’t care what you do but most of all, I want you to be moving and smiling. Look in the mirror halfway through the macarena and genuinely laugh at yourself. Appreciate that you are here in this moment alive and well.


3.) 10 minutes of meditation. I don’t need to tell you all the benefits of mediation as they are near infinite but I want to give you a lesson that I wish I knew when I started. In the beginning, I was frustrated at how easily my mind wonders. I thought that my brain wasn’t normal. I would repeat to myself ‘stop thinking so much’ and then get mad that I was thinking so much about not thinking. I considered each session a failure because I wasn’t solely focusing on my breath for the whole time. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The bulk of the benefits from meditation come when you bring yourself back in. By doing this you are training your brain to be constantly thinking about coming back to the now. You’re spending ten minutes now preparing your mind by doing nothing, so that when you need it to work the most it will. I now consider any session of having monkey mind for 9.5 minutes, and a peaceful 30 seconds to be a success. It’s hard to believe but those last 30 seconds can drastically change your day.


4.) After meditation I like to journal. There’s a million different things you can journal about but the basic premise for mine goes like this. First I write out any weird thoughts, feelings and ideas that are in my head. You would be surprised at how creative you are in the morning when you least expect it. Next, I write three things that would make today awesome. Maybe it’s finally raising my max squat, or reconnecting with an old friend. Doing things like this in the morning helps gives you purpose and focus for your day. And finally, I write out three affirmations for myself that I’m feeling. Whenever I used hear about people doing this it gave me chills because I thought it was so cheesy. However, it really does help. If YOU don’t even believe in yourself, who the hell do you expect will?


5.) Shower + breakfast


Bottom line: Be thrilled to wake up and have a routine in the morning, most people don’t. Try new things but find something that works for you. You can only do so much in a day, and winning the first 30 minutes sets everything else up.

[–]MisterDorimant points points [recovered]

How to Train Your Brain to Wake Up Like a Coked Out Madman

  1. Be mad.
  2. Do coke.

Works every time.

[–]TheWhiskeyTickler 49 points50 points  (0 children)

You really can't argue with that logic

[–]ijschu 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Well, now I'm broke. I think I lost the rest of the instructions...

[–]ThePwnter 7 points8 points  (0 children)

60% of the time, it works every time!

[–]Mckallidon 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I prefer smoking in a cold shower and kegels. But to each their own.

[–]yaxis50 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Directions unclear, dick stuck in a bagel.

[–]Mckallidon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pull out after the schmear but never talk to that bagel again

[–]ThePwnter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Response unclear, licked a staple.

[–]sickofallofyou 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear - dick stuck in coke bottle.

[–]Harleydamienson 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I love mad people on coke, everyone does.

[–]acetylcysteine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Efficient and effective. I'm in

[–]JustTheT1p_0 168 points169 points  (26 children)

Spend a year in afghanistan. You'll wake up quick as hell if a mouse farts in your attic. Not a great thing when you have a bitch sleeping next to you, you wake up cause your neighbor came home at 2 am from the bar and slammed his car door and your wandering the down stairs naked with a 1911 checking all the locks.

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy 47 points48 points  (7 children)

Damn bro, do you have PTSD? (srs)

[–]JustTheT1p_0 19 points20 points  (5 children)

So I'm told. I take some pills to keep my head straight but fuck therapy, I work alot for therapy. Keeps my hands and head too busy to think about stuff. Time will do the rest.

[–]ButtRobot 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Get in with the head-shrinker man. I have PTSD, and all the of the shit you wrote earlier made me laugh its so fucking true. I tried to be cool and not do any type of therapy, too. After I choke-slammed someone who didn't deserve it, I got my ass back into therapy and I'm happy I did.

Of course, to each his own.

[–]rathyAro 7 points8 points  (0 children)

People do manage to have ptsd for the rest of their lives. Just sayin

[–]satanicpriest13 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Therapy is bullshit. Just keep busy, workout, and love your life. Best solution is to work through it instead of sitting around and talking about feelings.

[–]rowlanry 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lies. My whole job is to help vets mentally and physically and therapy usually has the highest rates of sucsess from the people I've cared for. Its not a cure by itself but it changes the game for the better.

[–]p1ndl3t0n points points [recovered]

To be fair, you could have this experience in any urban city in America. ;)

[–]JustTheT1p_0 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I live 10 Mins out side camden NJ. That shit hole doesn't hold a candle to the shit you will see in the sand box. People living on houses made of sticks, willing to slaughter eachother over a fucking goat. It's like the old wild west out there.

[–]JustTheT1p_0 14 points15 points  (8 children)

I'll give an example. 2 navy guys got the bright idea to drive 10 Mins down the road out side our fob because they wanted to go to the chow hall. The afghans RPG there truck. Killed the driver instantly. He was the lucky one. The second guy they tied to the back of a vehicle and drug him threw the streets until he died. Of course we had to go look for him. Shit was the sight of horror films man. I'd sooner let a pack of wolves kill me before an afghan. At least the wolves would have the decency to bite your neck and kill you before ripping you to shredds.

[–]qotob 9 points10 points  (7 children)

What are the troops doing there again?


[–]SaiHottari 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They're following orders. The question is why the government put him there, and that's a toss up. Oil, appeasement to other political powers, quelling decent, oppressing people... And there's even some meta reasons: if we're at war, we have an excuse to keep military budgets high, thus taxes high. Shave a little off the top for uncle Sam and government employees can pay their mortgages.

[–]JustTheT1p_0 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Beats me. I went there to get money. Why we are there didn't really concern me at all.

[–]qotob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just asking because I'm not a US citizen and I honestly don't understand why you're there.

[–]Everythings -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

Damn you joined a group that kills people without checking their reasons or even caring so you could get money? There's a lot of ways to make money.

[–]JustTheT1p_0 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I had my own reasons for joining. I tend to ignore all the rich people's problems until they directly affect my life. The army needs people to fight and that's what I did. I don't need some grand cause or delusions of patriotism to motivate me.

[–]ohyeawellyousuck 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sure but going overseas and risking your life for money is. Well. Fucking nuts.

Do you even make good money in the army? I've always heard it's shit money, and in my experience people that join either a) have no other option or b) super patriotic. Now I guess I'll add c) a little fucking insane.

[–]JustTheT1p_0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you go over seas for a year at e4 you will come home with about 17-18 grand in the bank. It's not great money but you don't have to pay rent, utilities, health care, cellphone bills, and what ever else you need to worry about in america. And honestly I liked the simple living deployment gave me. Wake up, do your job, eat, work out, watch a movie on your lap top then sleep. Wake up and repeat for a year.

[–]Bohemiannn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol, i live in skidrow in DTLA. join the club............

[–]Oink7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

MDMA helped me big time... Meditation too.

[–]MONGR 56 points57 points  (34 children)

Good post. I would also add that you should make the effort to take cold showers if you don't already, it does wonders for your discipline and has a host of other health benefits

[–]True_Racer 16 points17 points  (32 children)

I am very confused about this whole cold shower thing ......

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (7 children)

Pleasant things stimulate dopamine and make you soft. Unpleasant things deprive you of dopamine and make you tough. Being tough allows you to control yourself. Controlling yourself is the first precursor to controlling your environment. This is just the psychological component, but probably the main reason for doing it. Apperently it also boosts testosterone and is good for your skin, but who the fuck knows.

[–]segagaga 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Adversity builds character. < Concise version

[–]frickcensorship 47 points48 points  (0 children)

This makes too much sense. Cold showers are like nofap for your entire body.

[–]SiulaGrande 17 points18 points  (1 child)

the testosterone is unproven, but there are studies showing that cold showers help reduce muscle and joint inflammation and can help you recover from exercise slightly faster. hot/cold showers, where you go hot then super cold then hot again for a few minutes, have also been proven to improve the quality of life in patients with fibromyalgia

what a tweest

[–]RoxoViejo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Diet is the best way to fight inflammation, period. No need to torture yourself taking cold showers for that reason.

[–]michelswennson 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This is a so damn good written piece of valuable knowledge.

What do you do think of TV Shows just for entertainment. Would you recommend to abstain from that, so I don't raise comfort? I catch myself wanting to watch senseless stuff to not do the work necessary.

Do I build a interdependent system of efficiency (get shit done) by limiting/deleting dopamine triggering actions?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

One thing I try to keep in mind is averages. As long as I'm slightly better than everyone else in everything that I do, I will be successful. So, at the gym, work a bit harder than everyone else. In school, get a slightly higher GPA than the average. As long as you're better than the average in everything you do, the effect of each area will boost or multiply every other area, due to your increased confidence. Don't be so concerned with cutting out pleasurable things, only be concerned with being better than the average person in everything you do. Once you do what you have to each day to reach these goals, you can enjoy yourself. You'll notice a trend, though; once you start being better, things that provide instant gratification like your tv shows, start to become a waste of time. You simply don't enjoy it anymore, as success and social validation become your drug of choice.

[–]michelswennson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.. you have answered my question to great satisfaction.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 18 points19 points  (7 children)

Douse yourself with cold water (the coldest you can possibly get it, no "working up to it") first thing in the morning after waking and maybe taking a piss. Fill some kind of bucket or container up, and douse yourself repeatedly.

After your cold water ritual's done, feel free to take a normal hot shower, a scented bubble bath with some playboy playmate bunnies, do sauna with your fav Calvin & Hobbes floaties, try OP's genius routine etc. - whatever you need to start your day.

Very important to never skip a day, come hell or high water. The only acceptable excuse not to do the cold water ritual is high fever that day.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been taking cold showers for so long now that I actually find warm showers really uncomfortable.

[–]Kingoffistycuffs 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Is the reason for not doing it on high fever days is so your body doesn't crash?

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I suppose it's because the body expends resources for the high fever to accomplish a highly urgent goal (killing the infection faster). Shocking it with thermal jumps at this point must be counterproductive, like kicking a kitten who's already starving to death. Don't know for sure, but it's served me well for years.

The more important thing is why you never skip. The overall benefit of the practice is all in the purifying shock, that happens right after waking up (and before going to sleep). It is very accumulative in nature, you gain a tiny bit every day you do it. But skipping even a day will undo weeks of prior accumulation just like that. It's real easy to lose all that buzz and benefit fast, relatively slow to gain it back.

Bucket method is "more shockier" than showerhead, I recommend it. Sometimes when stuck without my trusty bucket somewhere, I use the shower too but it's a rather subpar experience & it's ridiculous how fast you turn into a shock connoisseur.

[–]michelswennson 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What do you gain "a tiny bit everyday"? To overcome resistance?

Why wouldn't I "work up to it"? Because my Ego would give me more resistance?

This is a very interesting topic and I sense the solution to some attitudes I want to correct in life.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The benefit is supposedly somewhat proportional to the amount of physiological shock from the cold. I've been at it for years, perfectly used to it & throughly enjoy every second, but somedays it just hits you harder for whatever reason, and I (if you pardon the french) can literally piss myself a little in the shower. You'll know exactly what I mean if you do it long enough, it's delicious. It's a small subdued version of what happens to all animals when the body thinks they're about to fucking die, it's time to dump all ballast and run for your life.

So when it's hitting you just right, you can actually reach that deep level unconscious emergency response, and some say that's what brings the inner purification, the peace and the buzz all day long. Your body's just so happy and satisfied that it's another day and it didn't actually die.

That's why there's no "work up to it", you'd be depriving yourself. And that's probably why it's done right after waking (also right before going to sleep if you're hardcore). The thermal situation in the body is vulnerable at that point, you will kick its ass with those "little surprises", so it's forced to wake up, engage all systems, and secretly toughen itself inbetween the shocks slowly, as everyone got the message and is preparing for more wonderful surprises from this crazy bastard (you).

[–]michelswennson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing.. that's what I'm gonna do. Thank you.

[–]joh2141 11 points12 points  (7 children)

The cold shower thing is more of a mental psychological thing. There's no real physical evidence of it being beneficial at all over hot water except the dopamine dependency. Hot water = more molecules moving = more efficient way of cleaning as it'll remove gunk off your body naturally. Also hot water opens up your pores.

As for the dopamines, he's correct. Hot water feels good; releases dopamine. That's a problem for RP men. We have to try to limit as much dopamine as possible because getting used to that means we are becoming dependent on the feeling. Comfort is the seed that breeds weakness. Cold water is almost "painful" and traumatic. While definitely not better for you, again it's about psychological state of mind and eliminating dependency on dopamine.

There is a study that strongly point that drinking hot tea/water and taking hot shower can boost your immune system/prolong your average life span while drinking cold beverages show a lesser average lifespan. RP men by nature don't chase things that add numbers to their total years alive.

At worst, cold shower in the morning and hot shower after working out/sweating all day.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 13 points14 points  (6 children)

I don't exactly agree with this dopamine deprivation concept tho. Sure you want to limit the artificial massive dopamine releases, but there's no reason to live like a monk depriving yourself. I want to live with enthusiasm, which implies a general high level of dopamine in the brain.

[–]joh2141 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You don't HAVE to do it. I don't do the cold shower bullshit simply because I work in the hospital. That shit is dirty. You gotta wash with hot water for 2 reasons that people aren't mentioning. Hygiene. Sweat leaves traces of ammonia, salt, and sugar. It's not just water. Ammonia smells and sugar can accumulate odor after bacteria take residence and release gaseous waste. We just can't take risks like that especially when people get infections at hospitals all the time. Then immune system response. Heat boosts immune system and cold lowers it. That's why in the cold weather you're likely to get a cold. Not because cold causes illness but simply because it slows down your immune response.

The point is you do this where you can. I've been cutting down all additional sugar, salt, and seasoning on all my food or try to. Coffee black with no sugar or cream. Steak? Season it with spicy peppers but no salt or sugar or crushed ground pepper. Going out for lunch? Probably grab that healthy wrap instead of the greasy burger.

The dopamine dependency is a real issue in modern society. It's how you get kids addicted to WoW, league of legends, and other video games that play on people's sense of progress/adrenaline. So instead of getting dopamine by getting promoted and banging girls, they get dopamine by playing WoW and jerking off. Their brain tells them there's nothing wrong with what they are doing thus is pacified.

I'm not telling people to abandon things that make you feel good but definitely you should relook at how much pleasure you take in and how that might affect your lifestyle. I mean if we were on a dopamine deprivation crusade, we would tell people to go celibate too. The point is you're attempting to eliminate dependency on dopamine, NOT denying it.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah dude I understand delayed gratification, I'm not an autist

[–]MONGR 0 points1 point  (2 children)

These kind of things aren't meant to make your life less enjoyable, they're to rewire your reward system to enable you to work for the things that are going to give you true satisfaction - a form of pleasure that can never be matched by the small indulgences that most people live their lives by.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah dude I understand the concept of delayed gratification. And I'm not even arguing cold showers. I'm just saying that this whole deprivation thing can be taken too far. You'll just put yourself in a bad mood cuz you're too busy thinking youre Ubermensching.

[–]MONGR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get you, everything can be taken too far, and I do reckon some people in this sub are probably guilty of this

[–]Returnofthemack3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

yeah I think some posters in here take it a little too far. Sorry, but i'll keep taking warm showers. That is not the problem in my life lol

[–]beginner_ 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I am very confused about this whole cold shower thing ......

Hot showers are for pussies! Man the fuck up!

TRP is a toolkit, take what you need and laugh at what you think is ridiculous. Keep in mind a lot of guys are around 20 years old and still need to proof themselves something.

[–]mmmoreos -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's kind of depressing if you have no need to prove anything to yourself in life.

[–]Returnofthemack3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

lol p much this. Fuck taking cold showers. You are not getting dependnet on dopamine due to taking a 5-10 minute hot shower every morning lol

[–]dontputthebeerback points points [recovered]

Besides being much better for your skin than hot water, it's a harmless way to train yourself to cope with physical discomfort. It's always to a big mental hurdle to cross to actually bring yourself to step into that cold water, so the accomplishment feels fantastic every time. It lets you start every day with a victory.

[–]pennynotrcutt -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't know about the whole cold shower thing but turning the water to cold at the end of your shower closes your pores and and makes your hair shinier.

[–]maxofreddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great podcast by Tim Ferris/Rhonda Patrick PhD on this.


At about the 33:00 mark she talks heat stress/sauna and switches to cold stress at about the 46 min mark. Suffice to say. Icing directly after a workout blunts the "good inflammation" that helps build muscle. Waiting an hour post workout to ice seems to help with DOMS & not affect the acute inflammation that leads to muscle growth.

But more studies are needed.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been taking them for 5 years, I have not read about any benefits or science BS that changes ever week. I EXPERIENCED mood and energy benefits and that's all I need. Just try it a few times, you have nothing to lose.

[–]kimohno -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do cold showers since 5 years. And I get nothing else done in my life and have zero discipline. Fuck cold showers

[–]Ke9817 288 points289 points  (18 children)

You sound annoying in the AM. Die.

[–]JLCitadel 136 points137 points  (4 children)

I wonder how many woman hes scared the shit out of the next day when they wake up to him bolting out of bed dancing like hes on crack

[–]WolfofAnarchy 65 points66 points  (0 children)

They probably just thought he's a coked out madman

[–]GooseNZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I reckon it's pretty close to zero.

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (4 children)

90% of the posts on TRP are so much longer than they need to be.

[–]bluedrygrass 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Everyone with that "i'm a professional blogger" attitude. It's also the mod's fault, removing short and coincise posts because they don't sound wanky enough.

[–]Nikelu 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Fucking a. Imo this was a quick post but generally I see 5 pages posts and I cant remember shit

[–]ThePwnter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TRP tl;der

Post too Long

[–]vnjxk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Skipped over so many because I didn't have the time to read the whole thing

[–]redefinedreality 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You remind me of when I used to take an EC stack and go back to sleep

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For the last several months I've been running 5km every morning. I'm up at 530 and out the door within 15 minutes. It's best to do cardio on an empty stomach and it gets me psyched up for the day.

Also, go to bed earlier. You don't need to be up until 1230 every night. I sleep from 1030 to 530.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I love this post.

I love the energy behind these ideas and I'll be using them starting tomorrow.

I listen to a lot of sales podcasts, so I want to share one thing that Grant Cardone said he did that caught my mind. When he wakes up, he writes down all of his goals for the day. But that isn't the significant part, even though that's a great practice to get into. What caught my attention is that he chooses a quote to live by, writes it down, and then commits to living by it for the day.

And I don't mean that he googles some cheesy hallmark card level bullshit. He starts his day by saying "I want to embody this idea." Or "Today I'll try to be more x." Stuff along those lines, not dumb motivational BS. I started doing this a while back and I've noticed an improvement in myself. More of a "one-ness" with how I am and how I want to be. Some would call that mindfulness or focus or whatever, I don't really care what it is. It's helped me, so give it a shot.

[–]GrabHerByThePEPE 4 points5 points  (1 child)

So do you prepare a quote the night before or make one up for the day

[–]RainDrark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think it matters if you're coked out from cold showers and super man jumping out of bed every morning i dont think your. State of mind would be any different.

[–]youngbullsonline[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like that. I'm gonna add that to my daily journaling for the next week and try it out

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 20 points21 points  (6 children)

Good, though a little over the top. Here's a condensed version:

  1. Set an alarm. One. Get up when it goes off.

  2. Dynamic stretches and some short form of exercise. Push-ups, pull-ups (if you have a bar on your door frame), or even burpees to get the blood circulating. You've been still all night.

  3. Meditate. 'Nuff said.

  4. Journal*. Writing your thoughts down makes them real. Also helps you connect what could be potential dots.

  5. Shower + breakfast. Self explanatory.


*Optional but recommended

[–]Phaeer points points [recovered]

I'm more of a take a shower before going to sleep. Wake up 10 minutes before leaving the house. Eat breakfast at work. Go to bed an hour later than folks needing all this shit in the morning kind of guy. I'm happy with this solution and I'm not tired at work.

[–]Nikelu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same pretty much I always workout at night so I come home clean. But I thought cold showers weren't to get you clean but just to get you going.

[–]Jewridiction points points [recovered]

Meditate when you just got up from a night of sleep ? Seems pretty useless.

[–]slay_it_forward 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The point of medidating isn't to go to sleep. It's about focus and quieting the mind.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Meditation is a mechanism for mindfulness. Sleep is a mechanism for rest. The two are different. You would know this if you meditated.

[–]WastedPotential 4 points5 points  (0 children)

God, this is such an oversimplification of a very complex subject. Sleep/rest/energy levels/waking are all extremely complicated, and are interwoven with other aspects of your life.

There are innumerable reasons why it may be hard for someone to get out of the bed in the morning, such as:

Diet/Nutrition - This is another thing that's almost too complex to get into, but if you're either not eating the right stuff, or your body isn't using it properly, you are going to be tired no matter how well you can dance to Thriller.

Sleep Apnea - You can sleep for 6/8/10/12 hours per night, but if it's shit quality sleep you will never feel rested.

Light levels - Same as the previous point, this will make it hard for your body to sleep properly.

Circadian Rhythm - People have naturally differing sleep cycles, and it's a major part of the reason why there are "morning people" and "night owls". It's genetically determined, to a large degree)You may be able to "bend the rules" so-to-speak with your own circadian rhythm, but some people will always be tired if they are waking up at 5am every day, no matter what else they do. Their body just doesn't want to do it, and it's eventually going to win that battle.

Psychological Condition - Are you depressed? Anxious? Have a neurotic personality type? If so, mornings are just going to be hard, so matter how many affirmations you say.

I'm not even really arguing against any of those morning rituals, but more so against the idea that **if you're groggy in the morning, this is the answer".

Maybe it is, but there's a much greater chance that it's not. If someone doesn't have other areas of their life reasonably well handled, forcing themselves to do all this nonsense is just going to drain their limited reserves of willpower and they will not be able to keep it up for more than a few days.

It seems to work for you, but you are a morning person with an extremely optimistic temperament. It's the equivalent of a 6'3", jacked, handsome, rich, natural alpha Chad type telling us that the secret to getting laid is to just "be yourself".

No shit it works for you, but other people will have to use different methods.

[–]SiulaGrande 8 points9 points  (0 children)

hey man, boy scouts was fun

[–]callthezoo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Wake up and dance to Michael Jackson while giggling to yourself in the mirror? What the fuck am I reading?

[–]VitaminDWaffles 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You would be a terrible dorm roommate...

[–]Bernie_SUCKA points points [recovered]

Ok nice tactic but I am willing to bet my life savings its not a sustainable statergy. Anything that requires considerable will power = not a sustainable strat. Get back to me if you're still doing this in 10 years.

I personally just keep the curtains open to let light in, drink water when i wake, and go for a light walk to get my body in started. Much more sustainable.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Willpower is finite, but you can train yourself to have a larger supply of willpower.

[–]butter_coffee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Another great tip I heard was to say "Something wonderful is going to happen to me today." You go through the day positive and attuned to opportunities. Even if nothing good happens, at least you spent the day excited.

[–]Philletto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have something important to do the next day. Before bed, plan what you are going to do. Tell youself how many hours of sleep before you wake. I always sleep well and wake up before the time I tell myself to wake up (I use but never need the alarm clock). Having a purpose gives you energy.

[–]klickclackbang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people are groggy and their head is woozy for quite a while after waking up. Don't think pulling a Freddie Mercury victory pose will fix that.

PS I prefer the Mercury.

PPS No, didn't mean it like that.

PPPS No homo.

[–]SoulRedemption 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice post. Love the energetic way it's written. I will be trying a couple things from tomorrow morning itself. I've had a small routine and I've fallen back on it. Incorporating a few things from this sell help.

A few of mine if anyone's interested:

Never hit the snooze button. If him wake up within half n hour the alarm goes off, don't go back to sleep. Get off the bed.

As soon as you wake up, sit up, take a deep breath (if you are feeling groggy), stand up and make the bed. Making your bed is productive and this well set a tone for the rest of the things you are doing.

Have a glass of warm or lukewarm water.

If you are into music, hit the play button and get into a bit of the groove.

Think of one thing you are grateful for and smile, smile big.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really like the message behind this. I start work at 5am, so I don't really have time to journal.

In "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius, he has a passage where he discusses how we are human, and our lives are thus human pursuits, so why live life so begrudgingly? If we are only human, living human lives, why not embrace and enjoy our human endeavors?

I like to take a step back. If I see someone in the gym going half-speed, or hear someone complain about something trivial, I always remind myself; we have one life, there is no after life, the universe is endless - how arrogant is it to not appreciate every moment, good or bad? Live like you are dying, because we all are.

[–]ssr401 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Evidence for breakfast soon after waking up is mixed. Based on the latest research into intermittent fasting it might be better to delay or skip breakfast depending on how late you ate dinner. This is an area of active research so the best practice still isn't clear.

[–]Leonidas_79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This works for me. When I get up I've got this "Fuck this I don't want to eat any of this shit" feeling and I'm not that hungry, so even if I do force myself to eat I don't eat enough and I'm hungry by the time I get to work.

I just pack my breakfast and eat it at work. Ill have a scoop of way protein in a glass of water, maybe a spoon or two of peanut butter when I wake up, though. Saves me about half an hour in the morning.

When I get to work I'm really starving and I destroy my breakfast.

[–]Fraita 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ever since new year, I've been going with a routine in the morning. (Monk mode)

Made me so happy and it even go so far that I've want to go to bed early at the evening, so I can wake up again and feeling badass. PS. I've always been a morning person, so it can be a reason why it works so efficient for me.

My routine so far:

1) My alarm will go off 03:30. Often I'm already awake (I'm that kind of person that has an "alarmclock" in my mind, so I can most likley wake up at the same time everyday, if i've trained in the "daily rythm" for a week).

2) I will check the phone just to get my eyes adjusted to the light (Iphone got that "night shift" mode, otherwise I will get totaly flashed by my ordinary lamps), no risk for me of going back to bed.

3) Turn on the computer & and fix a "drink" with Resorb fluid replacement & vitamins. Put on some deep house (the one where they mix songs). Start reading diffrent TRP forums/bloggs e.t.c. Around 04:15-25 I will mix PWO/Proteinpowder. Let the mind race until 04:57. Then I start walking to the gym (2 min away).

4) 05:00, gym door unlocks... The last couple months I've totaly crushed it on the gym, personal record in atleast one of the exercises, everytime I go to the gym.

5) Around 06:30 I'm done with the exercises and will hurry back home to fix me up (shower, get dressed, walk to the bus) before the work that starts at 08:00. On the way to the work my mind is still racing because of the PWO/gym, so I read, listen to music, wondering about life, writing some notes, meditate or just space out.

6) 08:00 - 17:00 I work, feeling the energy slowly get drained. 18:00 I come home, fix some food, watch American dad or w/e. 19:30-20:00 I get to sleep and repeat the same process.

This routine really works for me and I'm crushing the businessdays, but the effect still holds on the weekend. So I fall asleep around 21-22 and wake up around 4:30-6:00. So I'm not especially social with anyone. Just hitting the gym and sit at home watching netflix/playing video games.

Before you "you can be social during the days". Yeah, but most of my "friends" are night owls and just like to get wasted on the nights and sleep all day. And I barley drink anymore because of alcoholic delirium, I've got(get?) every symptom except coma/seizures/fevers at 23 years old, I tried to live up to my "finnish alcholism genes" from 15 years old, and it punished me really hard.

Sure I could go to the local mall and socialize with random people and find new "friends"/plates or whatever. But i've not yet overcome that anxiety, and Swedish people (from Finland, live in Sweden) are very shy and difficult to day game ( http://puamore.com/swedish-girls/ ) (an excuse? Yes), but I'm trying to over win my "fear" of approaching.

So I really like my routine, but is somehow flawed because I'm only social on my work (work as an shipping-agent, so I talk a lot at work) and people can't understand my routines and I'm the boring person because I'm not up late and don't drink.

[–]radiant777 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This method was recommended by Aleister Crowley in one of his essays published in the equinox. I'd be interested to know if this is where you were inspired or did you come across this somewhere else?

[–]thecajunone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah. He definitely got inspired to write this by some random Crowley essay. 🙄

[–]radiant777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The equinox is hardly random... It was his seminal work. If he has read any Crowley it probably came from the equinox.

[–]segagaga 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The irony of you saying that doing 25 reps of exercise is sissy stuff, but then go on to recommend the "manly" action of dancing to Micheal Jackson. Singing to the mirror and pretending to be a popstar Isn't being a man.

The fuck!?

[–]iPoopWheniPee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thought I was the only one who danced in the morning lol. Can't stress how good it makes me feel enough. For me I do it for meditative purposes, it really helps me be in the moment especially in the morning.

[–]30fretibanezguy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Fuck it, I'm giving up coffee.

Im one of those people thats like "don't speak to me if i aint had my coffee haha" but I bet a lot of it's just operant conditioning. If this resounds with you then consider joining me. 21 days - that only takes us to June 14th, who's in?

[–]michelswennson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Starting with you right now. I will switch to green tea.

[–]wiseprogressivethink 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i would add - upbeat music. maybe it's just me [spoiler: no, it isn't], but listening to upbeat music quickly and dramatically improves my mood. best time to do that - the start of your day.

[–]kr1v 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jeah i listen to Black Metal when i m in the shower....

[–]mlgpc[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've found that drinking water as soon as you wake up also helps. Not sure if it could work for everyone, but it really helps me stay awake after getting out of bed.

[–]FadedInTheBackseat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I resonate with this so deeply. Doing ANY type of productive (mentally or physically) thing at the start of your day will build momentum and carry out through the rest of the day.

[–]Crazy_SnakeMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if i want to lift in the morning? I've been trying to wake up for the gym at 5am since forever and everytime i turn the alarm off and go back to sleep. This routine sounds great but would be pretty time consuming doing it before the gym since i have to leave for work by 9AM. Any idea what would help?

[–]TheRedStoic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Add in drinking a cold glass of water immediately. I actually have one waiting each morning.

Your body is dehydrated, giving it water gets the gears turning very quickly. I recommend it highly.

[–]Rumzdizzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like the tips... now my sleep over buddy will think I'm Christian Bale ala American Psycho. That'll get her outta the house faster.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great advice.

I'd add that during meditations do some affirmations. Better if you look into the mirror and say them. Direct eye contact.

Second, make that shower cold. Wakes you up better than coffee. When you shiver you activate your CNS(central nervous systems).

There are no benefits to hot showers. It's a luxury. Cold showers have benefits.

[–]Unlucky_Leader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do two things: either A) wake up grab a piece of fruit go for a run B) Strech out the body after two glasses of cold water.

[–]Leonidas_79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Say you have to be at work at 9 - when do you wake up?

[–]ScharfeSatan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All the tips sound legit, except breakfast I am skiping that, being fasted gives the best boost out of that bed for me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meditating in the morning makes me fall asleep. Anyone else?

[–]BroseppeVerdi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" is my alarm. Before that, it was Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now" (the theme from Rocky).

[–]meninistMD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wake up, feeling miserable, put on my scrubs, use mouth wash, brush my hair, use rogaine, and out of the door, usually five minutes routine, bed to door. it's called years of doing a serious job, maybe that what everyone need, just a serious motive/obligation.

[–]thetotalpackage7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't like morning people, or mornings....or people.

[–]velinxs 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I wake up everyday using a certain meditation app based on binaurals, beta/gamma waves in the a.m. is top tier.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn good post, Soldier. Can I repost this greatness for the men in my sub?

[–]BetterBadIdeas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

+1 for the best damn title ive ever seen.

...And hot damn this is some solid advice to boot.

[–]Adreamdead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coke heads are losers that's not a good example.

[–]bossplayaintraining points points [recovered]

First thing I do when I wake up is take a nice, big, steamy dump.

When you need to push out those brown nuggets, it gets all the grogginess/sluggishness out of you.

[–]GrabHerByThePEPE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No matter how big a shit you take, it will never be the last one

[–]enditfam -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ain't no one gonna tell me to be happy for who I am and the fact that I get to live and enjoy another day on this sub

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Didn't read yet, but I've been going like this strong for nearly 2 weeks (not counting). Believe it or not, my initial motivation was self-hatred for being unable to live an easier life and provide better for myself, not to mention a potential oneitis averted by deducing she was making food for her bf whom she fucks (she doesn't say much about him, except once saying he wasn't the 'jealous type', sounded like middle-class boy amused mastery).

The thing is, I carried all those negative feelings, letting myself grimace and feel shitty when nobody I cared about was looking. Then I'd make myself happy, rinse and repeat 'til I purged so much toxicity. I basically let the emotion mutate into beneficial energy. I no longer think in terms of days and starting anew.

Now I finally have the mentality to absorb TRP, improve myself first then my life, and not to mention capitalize on attention while realizing and not GAF about why a girl would shrug me off. It's clarity. I can call people out on bullshit they can't even comprehend. It just shows me I'm that much sharper than the common person. Just gotta apply my wisdom.

[–]1bradyo2 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Don't do sissy shit like jumping jacks, but do dance around your room like world famous nonce, Michael Jackson, got it.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Idk, if I wake up that excited I might end up gooing my pants (no fap day 180 would be ruined), good thing I can clean myself with a cold shower. Maybe I can do some kettle bell exercises after some keto breakfast.