Red Pill TheoryEven if you're Nice you'll be the Bad Guy afterwards (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by kindaOKbut


So you've swallowed the pill. You're a reforming nice guy and you think,

"I can still be nice. Knowing the truth doesn't change who I am."

"Sexual strategy may be amoral, but I'm not."

"I don't want the reputation of being an asshole."

Well, you can be nice if you want to, but remember that the only benefit to being nice is that you will think that you are nice. To her, no matter how Nice you are, you WILL be an asshole and it will be your fault that you broke up.


My father gave me one bit of advice after my breakup.

"Don't tell anyone anything. If they ask, just say 'It didn't work out. We split up.' Don't go spreading around a bunch of hurt and drama and details."

Originally I thought it was because he was trying to give me moral advice, but in reality it was because men don't do that, women do.

We know women see the world through their feelings. We also know that women will perform whatever mental gymnastics it takes to make those feels be good.

Scenario: Your LTR cheats. You find out and next her. You don't yell or otherwise abuse her, just "goodbye". Good job for standing up for yourself while being kind. You handled it perfectly. However...

She's not going to be able to sleep at night being the bad guy. She will hamster it to make herself feel like the victim.

"How could he just walk away after all we had?"

"I thought he loved me. Didn't I mean anything to him?"

"It was just a mistake! How could he be so cruel?"

"It's not my fault, he was neglecting me!"

Squeak, squeak, squeak goes the wheel, until her hamster has nearly convinced her that it's not her fault. She only needs one more thing: approval.

She'll go to her friend, or she'll go to Chad, or she'll go to her mom, and she'll spill her heart out. She'll cry and paint a picture of you: cruel, neglectful, an asshole.

"There, there," they'll console her. "How could he do that to you? He's an asshole. You don't deserve the way he treated you. It's not your fault."

"Ah, that feels better." Says the hamster-brain. "I knew it wasn't my fault I cheated."

How did this happen? You were perfectly nice, but now, your mutual friends are avoiding you. Chad says he'll kick your ass if he sees you. Any blue pill thoughts you had about a possible post-breakup-friendship quickly evaporate. Congratulations, being nice got you nowhere.


What do you do?

The choice is yours. You can live by whatever chivalry or code or lack thereof that you decide, but remember that it's not what she'll say about you.

In the end, just like everything you do in TRP: It's not about her, it's about you. If you decide to be honorable, it's only for your own conscience.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 260 points261 points  (16 children)

Yet another indisputable redpill observation of a peculiarity of the female mind.

Did you ever wonder how come women all seem to have only dated "jerks" and "assholes" when you ask them, although you don't see so many bad guys out there? Well OP perfectly described why.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 100 points101 points  (1 child)

Last in date for me, my flatmate has a buddy who just went through a breakup. The girl apparently cheated on him. He forgave her to try to "work it out". Then a friend told him he saw his girl kissing a dude. He confronted her. She denied. She couldn't believe he would not trust her. She decided they'd better break up for good, "because of this insecure behavior". Breakup is now the fault of the guy's behavior, not hers. Spin little hamster, spin.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I remember hanging out with my old (female) room mate, and her bitching about her boyfriend being insecure as fuck, always worrying about where she was. Well, I lived with her before. I know how she would step out on her supposedly monogamous relationship.

Found out later - well, deduced, but with about 90% certainty - that she had a 3way with my ex and her fuck buddy. There was no way that didn't happen while she was with her boyfriend that was 'so insecure.'


[–]verotx 43 points44 points  (4 children)

Just asked 4 girls if all their ex's were assholes and they all said "yeah"


[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 61 points62 points  (0 children)

"4 out of 4 women agree, it's not their fault!"

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

to be fair it is an insecure man who allows a girlfriend to cheat on him and chase her for explanations over and over.

[–][deleted] points points

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[–]ManLeader 30 points31 points  (6 children)

Bro, if she says all her exes are assholes, that's a red flag. We run from those.

Now if a guy says all his exes are Bitches... Yeah same thing.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Yup; just read an article about how the thing you bitch about the most when talking about people is likely the thing you do. lol.

Oh my ex? She's wonderful. Great gal. lol.

[–]ManLeader 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Can confirm. My ex who cheated was incredibly suspicious of me.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Oh ya, baby momma was constantly worried I was cheating on her... cuz she stepped out when I was deployed (expected it, fucking jody's) but we were just dating, I expected to next her when I got back. We ended up together, years later I caught her chasing down Jody again. Turns out she had gone on a trip to see 'her sister' and her sister covered her ass every time I called. Even then, something didn't smell right but man that BP was brutal. Worst part was a lot of people knew... and played along. Fucking society. So fucked.

Girl is suspicious? She's already banging chad.

[–]UlfhednarNorsk 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Ha ha dude! When deployed, I fucked every desert queen I could shove my dick into. Because I knew that the cunt I was dating at the time did exactly the same. But... sometimes you just have to learn from your own mistakes so you know never to to make them again.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know right? I got mine while deployed, bar none. On an isolated base with 400, about 20 female... I was bagging 2. Great six months. :-) A bit awkward when I saw the redhead on base a few months later. lol. 'oh. hey.' hahaha next.

[–]1ozaku7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, there was one jerk that the friends of my GF talked about. One of her friends was dating this jerk that was in the meantime sleeping with other women, while she was going to his place all the time, did the cooking and everything.

He's an asshole for plating her and her accepting to be treated that way. Now she's just banging dudes around. They all the time wonder why she still hasn't found a boyfriend, but I believe she's just jumping from cock to cock over Tinder.

[–]1GroundhogLiberator 52 points53 points  (21 children)

I was never anything but kind to my exes, but I'm sure that they said I was an asshole or controlling or crazy, or a crazy controlling asshole.

[–]MisfitPL9 39 points40 points  (18 children)

LOL - this is exactly what my ex did before she branch swung. I got " you ALWAYS blah blah, " You NEVER blah blah " " you are controlling " " We always fight ( had only ever had 2 big fights in 10 years ) - now after separation - i am the asshole who was controlling. Cheaters must use a script

[–]El_Shakiel 16 points17 points  (7 children)

I actually make fun of my GF whenever she uses the words always/never in the heat of an argument and surprisingly she does recognize that she says it rather unconsciously.

[–]1studentsensei 24 points25 points  (5 children)

You don't know how many times I've stopped my LTR dead in her tracks when she says "always" and "never". Then after she apologized for saying it she turned to "I FEEL like you always/never" then I told her that that's not acceptable communication language either and all she's doing is using her feelings to justify her embellishments.

I say to her "too often for my liking you do [x]" or "you could always improve on the way you handle [x]" I try to be constructive - too often her critiques come off as deconstructive and unfortunately all you do is make someone defensive.

Which brings up another point, saying "I feel" before you disrespect or disparage someone doesn't make it less hurtful. My LTR used that cop out a number of times to justify saying some very heinous things so now I just make fun of her to show her how ridiculous it is.

"I feel like you're a crackhead"

"But I'm not."

"I don't care it's just how I feel. Are you saying it's wrong for me to feel this way?"

Watch that deer in the headlights look appear.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I prefer them to use I feel statements. It helps me identify when I need to actively listen or not.

Plus all women do this, i'd rather an emotional bitch than one that comes at me with logic.

[–]1studentsensei 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You don't need to actively listen to someone whose feelings are based off of nothing substantiated.


"I feel like you're a crackhead."

When anyone speaks to me, man or woman, about a pressing issue I prefer that they do it while they have a handle on their emotions. It doesn't mean that I don't want them to express their emotions, just that I want them to express it constructively.

Emotions are like driving without a steering wheel. Sure they can get you somewhere, but it might not be where you want to end up at which is more often than not a wreck.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dude that is some cold asss psychological therapy shit there.

Well played.

[–]Shakydrummer 0 points1 point  (1 child)

To be fair, the 'I feel' statement is generally good for not verbally pointing a finger and instead turning the focus Inward.

[–]1studentsensei 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But in the hands of a woman it can turn toxic.

Them feeling a certain way is YOUR fault. So you have to take responsibility for it.

She makes you take responsibility when she's horny because she wants you to fuck her.

But if she "feels" unhappy then you have to take responsibility for that too.

When she starts "feeling" as if you're verbally abusive because you tease her, as if you're cheating on her because you stayed an hour extra at the gym/work and you told her that you would ahead of time, then it's not your problem it's theirs. But you can't tell someone that what they're feeling is "wrong".

Unless it's ridiculous.

Ala "I feel like you're a crackhead."

[–]northern_yeti 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh man, the fire in their eyes when you say something along the lines of, "Yes, Karen. I am alwaysssss leaving my socks on the floor. Every. Single. Day. Just to go through this fun little cycle with you again. I look forward to it."

[–]user_none 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ugh, the "Always" and "Never" script. Those are huge ones signaling the demise of a relationship and the demonization of one person.

[–]trees_away 4 points5 points  (1 child)

We should start a support group. Apparently there are many of us who are controlling assholes. Rewriting history just blows my mind.

[–]1Metalageddon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No support group! Apparently it's who these girls enjoy fucking so it works.

I run into my this with my plates occasionally. It usually happens with ignoring comfort tests instead of passing them. I just roll my eyes and say "when you can calm down, I'll be here." And point at the door, or shut off the phone, or whatever is necessary.

A few hours/days later they're back to sucking my dick and couldn't be happier. Or they're gone and I couldn't be happier.

[–]bigk12345 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Same script here.

It is funny looking back at it now.

My friend showed me a post on how my ex was posting inspirational quotes on the social media of her branch swing.

She cheated on me.

One of the inspirational quotes was saying how you realize how manipulative someone is, but you realize it is them, not you . I actually laughed because it described her word for word, but obviously she needs to play victims mentality.

Yes bitch. At least now I'm on her abusive list, which includes convicts. It truly is an honour.

[–]1ozaku7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Simple ego protection of women. They can't deal with guilt or taking responsibility for their actions, so their hamster goes into hyperdrive and try and succesfully convince themselves that it's all the other party and none of them. Conclusively, they feel good about themselves.

It's all about how a woman feels on what she does. Women are the simplest creatures in the world.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hahahah. So much truth in this. AMALT?

Like the best part is if you were to post something like that, hens be all cackling about how shitty you are for broadcasting. They do it, everyone white knights and be "oohhhh pooor you". hehehe

[–]llye 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wrote a bit of a script, hope my jscript isn't too bad

function hamsterweelGuiltyOne (me, him) {

var n= Math.random()*1000;

var i = 0

while ( ( (me == true) || (him == false) ) && (i < n)){

print ("How dare he leave the poor me")

print ("Did he even love me?")

print ("He must have a side girl")

print ("Manipulative bastard")

print ("I'm so sad, where is Chad1254")

print ("He never cared about me!!!!!!")


return "He's the bad guy";


[–]P4_Brotagonist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in a seriously long LTR who always pulled the "is it always going to be like this we fight all the time! It's nearly every day!"

Finally I got so annoyed whenever we even had a minor back and forth I wrote every single incident down with details and date. Finally she whipped it out again in an argument like 5 months later and it turned out that we had "fought" 7 times in all those months, and most of them were 5 minute irritations where we had a back and forth and forgot about it.

Then she dropped my first ever red pill which was her saying "I'm sorry but when I'm upset if I feel something then it's true to me and it's the only thing that matters."

[–]Cozc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds exactly like the script my 5 year ltr used when she booked it and just about emptied my house lol.

"You're so controlling, you never let me do anything i want, why do you always act like x or y"

It really is like they googled what to say and all happened to click the first link and just repeat it

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is in the MMSLP as a red alert. Always ever is a bad spot to be in ;)

[–]LOST_TALE[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Wait so being called ''manipulative'' is standard? lol, I would have laughed more.

What's the difference between manipulation and influence? Lies.

[–]Throwawaysteve123456 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I know lots of women, and every ex is an asshole. Like EVERY one. It doesn't matter how long, they are an asshole. No matter WHAT the context. This is a great example of the hamster wheel.

[–]Mr-Ed209 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Female sexuality is cruel in that it 'punishes' weakness. This is what 'nice' behaviour ultimately is. Girls then have the ironic problem that they must maintain their pure and kind image (to be attractive to others) while justifying at often times pretty cruel actions towards men who have displayed weakness towards them.

How would you react if a girl said she ditched her ex because he was always taking her out for dinner, telling her how great he thinks she is...

[–]LOST_TALE[🍰] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He was too nice, but I will slap you. Let's move to Somalia.


[–]SilverGryphon 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Funny thing is that I was called an asshole before even dating, simply because I refused to become a provider.

It seems that anything you do makes you an asshole, well fine then.

[–]Casanova-Quinn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you've been unjustly called an asshole, it's a shaming tactic to get you to behave how she wants.

[–]1ozaku7 2 points3 points  (2 children)

When I date, I pay for my own things. I don't even discuss this beforehand. If she has a stable income, she pays for herself.

[–]SilverGryphon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

In my case, it always depended on how hot she is. I had wealthy, yet unattractive women insist that they pay for everything and made it a point that I was well fed. On the other hand, I had pretty ones who demanded everything for free. Too bad I couldn't bring myself to bang the unattractive ones, otherwise it would have a been a lifetime of using said women as providers.

[–]1ozaku7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I doubt it, her friends will hamster it away that she is not supposed to pay for everything and that men are the providers, not the women. So I believe it's just temporary to get you hooked and then they will slowly transition to 50/50 and try you to pay for everything because "she paid at the start of the relationship".

[–]majaka1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pay for everything = asshole

Don't pay for anything = still an asshole

Yeah I know which one im going for

[–]oldrowtaft 27 points28 points  (4 children)

I am a living example of this only amplified:

My one-itis ex-holy grail of an LTR did this to me. Long story short; she cheated on me while i was working in afghanistan. I was injured by a suicide bombing and forced to come home. The plane lands, everything is normal for a month or two. Find out while on vacation that she cheated (drunk making out, but we all know: trickle truth). I broke it off and then caved when she cried and begged for me not to. "It wasn't my fault" "I was drunk" "you weren't there" and of course "nothing happened".

We get home and try to work things out, and of course it didn't work. So she breaks up with me because "she can't handle it". What exactly she couldn't handle? I'm not sure. (Probably the guilt of cheating on a man who was injured while you were sucking face/dick).

She commences to tell friends, family, and random guys that I am crazy and have mental issues (maybe true). That she did me a favor by leaving me alone and injured to recover.

I said jack shit about her to anyone.

Fast forward a year and two months later. Found TRP, lost 70lbs. One night about a week ago I get a text from a random number. My Ex took a screenshot of my tinder profile then sent it to me letting me know she was home for the summer. The pic is of course my main pic. (me wearing a slayer tank with the bottom pulled up revealing abs she never touched).

Makes you wonder why after spreading my name around and being the victim, would the moth return to the flame? Oh wait, we all know why AWALT.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

That she did me a favor by leaving me alone

At least that part was true.

[–]oldrowtaft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, I'd rather be alone. Have time to rebuild myself than to deal with that.

[–]SaggyT 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What a story man, hope you re doing well!

[–]oldrowtaft 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I owe her a thank you card. It really did open my eyes to TRP and the truth about women. Forced me to be introspective and change my life. Any tip I could offer a TRP reader is to stop drinking, then move on from there.

[–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (8 children)

I was dating a girl with an abusive ex. I gave her love and all the emotional support she needed to forget him. Oh my blue pill days. She would spend hours in bed crying how she was traumatized with the way they had sex as an excuse to not wanting to fuck with me anymore. After one year I broke up with her because I couldn't stand her shit anymore. Guess what? I became her new abusive ex. Now whats funny is that she began to lie about me only to become even more the victim.

[–]Throwawaysteve123456 67 points68 points  (5 children)

Keep in mind, the term 'abusive' when used by women nowadays has lost all meaning. Abuse is anything that they don't want to hear or experience.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Now I know that. I wish someone said me this a year ago.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very similar to rape - hard to tease out. As abuse can mean "emotional abuse" which can mean anything

[–]1ozaku7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This reminds me. My friend just told me about some girl I used to see 5 years ago. Turns out that 3 of her exes have been accused of raping her. She's the type of girl that heavily sobs and walks on the street to gain attention.

3 exes, THREE what used to be boyfriends apparently raped her. LOL, just LOL. And the court is not raising a brow how she could have been raped three times? Luckily this is europe, so the courts on this one are going to be quite a process to make dead sure that they raped her. She's convinced of herself that she was raped, which is the only reason that the courts are even running. She's a psychological trainwreck.

[–]scarletspider3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Standard fem speak to try to pander to men's protector instincts. That and females like fucking assholes (red pilled men). They never respect to blue pilled guys that eat that shit up.

[–]Billee_Boyee 17 points18 points  (6 children)

My ex got addicted to pain pills, then switched to heroin, then started whoring to pay for her habits- after emptying her kids college fund ( a pension from her deceased father) and our mutual savings I dumped her.

4 years later and she is till blaming me for dumping her.

There is no scenario too ridiculous for the hamster to justify.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 2 points3 points  (5 children)

We're gonna need more of this. So juicy. Much schadenfreude.

[–]Billee_Boyee 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Yes, well. I'm pretty jaded about women in general. I went Redpill back in 97, before the Matrix even came out. A brief stint as Billee Boyee beta bux, divorce rapee extraordinaire taught me all the hard lessons long ago.

So when I hooked up with this woman I admit, I knew she was a trainwreck waiting to happen. But I'm wicked cynical and she was into kinky sex- and lots of it- so I went with it. I admit, I didn't expect her to get quite so out of hand, but I cut my losses pretty early. Our mutual savings was only about $3K.

A buddy ran into her on the street not too long ago. Said she had put on 50 pounds. On the one hand, ick. On the other- it indicates she has an appetite, which junkies do not have. Heroin is the worst, I wish it on nobody. I hope she is clean, but I have no idea. I wouldn't believe her if she said so anyhow, and I don't speak to her, so who knows?

In the mean time, her daughter has turned 18 and started doing porn. She's definitely her mother's daughter. Deep throats big black dicks like a champ.

[–] points points

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[–]Billee_Boyee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The evidence is my word.... and all the videos you can find of the ex's daughter doing porn if you just google her name. No, I will not be divulging her name.

The section devoted to contrary evidence is called feminism.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I find what has happened to my ex's most amusing. The stupid mistakes they made, the way they're now paying for it, how much worse off they are, and the icing is how all the girls in their lives encouraged them to make the mistakes. It doesn't hurt, is hilarious and I enjoy Schadenfreude. To me is telling a funny story, but really nobody fucking cares.

That's the main thing, nobody cares and nobody wants to hear about it, even if it's funny.

If you're all butthurt about it, then it's excruciating to listen to it. It being funny is bad enough, but whining about it, shit son that's and lame ass weak suck shit.

While my first was horrible, the second was awesome right up until she wasn't, then it was funny the lengths she went to so as not to be the villain.

[–]mwobuddy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The stupid mistakes they made, the way they're now paying for it, how much worse off they are, and the icing is how all the girls in their lives encouraged them to make the mistakes. It doesn't hurt, is hilarious and I enjoy Schadenfreude.

I know. I've seen women I used to know prop up terrible relationship ideas AND soothe women who were basically branch swinging and then complaining that their exes were the monsters, and instead of seeing the pattern of how 'every guy is the asshole somehow and shes always the victim', they say 'well hopefully this new guy isn't a bad egg'.

Its fucking stupid. I think they're all colluding is this self-deception. Vagina unity!

[–]MarsTW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was salty over my ex leaving me so she could 'explore the world', as she suddenly branch swung to a young guy. Less than 2 months later she's pregnant. Love the schadenfreude, I find it hilarious. Didn't expect her to fuck up so quickly.

[–]10211799107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm having a convo next week with my LTR about her lack of motivation in the gym, she gained weight and I can see/feel it in bed, it's also to a point where my buddy asked why did she gain weight.
After 3 yrs, we travel to so many places and spent time together so I don't know if I'm just rationalising this to think giving her a straight talk about her weight is giving her a chance to be fair and 24hrs to make a decision since she knows my stance on weight since I lift religiously to stay fit. Gonna bring out the guns, embarrassed in public when we're at the pool etc.

Now that I'm in this scenario, it's weird how feelings get in the way. Feel like giving her a chance since it's been 3yrs and she's still madly in love, but at the same time if she's so in love why the fuck is she not doing anything about weight.

[–]kaane 8 points9 points  (1 child)

A great observation.

For a woman, feelz = realz. And couple this with the fact that if there is something wrong, it is never them, is must be the other people.

So during or after the breakup, she feels bad, unless she has already secured a higher branch. This must be because of the guy. She can't do anything wrong.

If she already secured a higher branch, well then you are invisible. You were a good guy, but you pushed her to the new one.

The reality is, we behave our best in the honeymoon phase. Men and women. Once the dynamics of the relationship changes, we also change. Once a woman gets something, she thinks that she has the rights to get that forever. No matter the circumstances. They don't want to understand that relationships are dynamic, and when the situations change, people start behaving differently. This is a given. You have to get the attention and affection of your partner every day.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some good truth in this; would argue guys do it too. Once you got the oneitis, we think we got that shit on lockdown forever. Probably that's when the next tree starts looking strong...

[–]SlothOnRoids 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The Ex is an asshole but the Chad she used to fuck on drunken nights out, "he always treated me good", yet he never gave commitment and was fucking other girls on the side. Will never understand it man.

[–]TheSelfGoverned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When women lose the tingles, you're suddenly not worthy of respect. When you lose frame and show her love, you're desperate and not worthy of respect.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Assume all women will cheat and lie about everything until proven otherwise.

You won't be proven otherwise.

[–]williambobbins 1 point2 points  (1 child)

To be fair you couldn't be proven otherwise even if this wasn't the case

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why it's always your best bet you cover your ass.

[–]shredzro 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Me and a girl I was dating broke up recently. I was pretty upset since it was the first time in years I opened up. So yeah I was beta and shit. Then Sunday I told her she can either attempt to make things right tonight or leave me alone. So she left me alone. I deleted her number that way I wouldn't text her no matter how "strong," I want too. Monday I texted a female I know wants the peen. Came over and we fucked, used her and left.

By facts I meant trp is about you. If I wasn't attempting to swallow the pill (i think it's harder than one thinks) then I probably wouldn't have for my ex "just incase," we get back together.

Also TRP taught me to say less. That bitch sent me 8 pics of herself today when I stopped replying. She kept sending me one after the other and all I would reply was with "nice." So I guess she wanted validation or more attention.

Good post.

[–]SilverGryphon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

attempting to swallow the pill (i think it's harder than one thinks)

not really, in my case the pill tasted sweet as it explained to me why women were treating me like shit and it allowed me to reverse the tables. Never felt better in my life.

[–]10211799107 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In a situation now where the LTR is gaining weight to the point of me being embarrassed in public at te pool. Going to tell her next week she has 24hrs to make a decision if she's going to swing that shit around and get in shape or not because my attraction is down the toilet. Feel like doing this because it's been 3yrs, want to give her a chance to turn it around. Not sure if I'm rationalising my own shit or not. or if it's worth it since if we break up I'll be the ass hole tat told her she's fat.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Squeak, squeak goes the hamster wheel. LOL!

[–]scarletspider3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think whenever a female speaks that's all I'm gonna hear from now on.

[–]DouglasPR 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I wish I could upvote this twice

[–]stephcurrythrowaway 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be logical no one views their ex truly in the best light.

[–]JoJoXPilled 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's been a while since I've lurked on here. Nice post OP, I'd like to add that there is a new category for nice guys as I have personally developed. I call it the pretend nice guy which is where we nice guys lie to ourselves that we are nice but deep down we know how the game works just smile for the Awalt's as they never change.

Also just looking at each environment your in and adjusting yourself should "i be nice here or bad" this might sound psychopathic and narcissistic like our mother's

But it works. I'm happy know that I am a nice guy sometimes but sometimes I pretend. It makes life much more easier.

[–]charnet3d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kinda do the same but I somehow always find myself regretting being nice than regretting being bad.. But I may just have a bad memory :P

[–]Wolfengristl points points [recovered]

That's amoral, and will confuse users. Please change.

[–]Merwebb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. That's why men are proactive. If you wait for see her reaction after shit happens you will be dumbfounded.

I think Billy will be the one threatening you, chad will just fuck her while sticking fingers up her ass, but that's beside the point.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If a girl wants you to become the villain so she doesn't have to hold herself accountable for anything she's going to cherry pick whatever example she can do to do it. That one time you didn't want her hanging out with her ex-boyfriend, you were controlling. That one time you said something insensitive by accident, you were an asshole. Etc... ad nauseum. Anything to avoid them thinking they're at fault for their own behavior.

Although I've seen women do that shit more times than I can count I don't know how many times it's actually mattered socially. Even semi-reasonable people can see through it or just don't care enough for it to trump their own perceptions of someone.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

you WILL be an asshole and it will be your fault that you broke up.

Every previous guy was "an asshole who abused me". They say this to elicit sympathy, white knighting and leverage male protective instincts (and male guilt!) for her own advantage.

The implication is that YOU were somehow responsible (as a man) for her previous man's behaviour, which you are expected to believe is exactly as she presents it, while she of course was a perfect little super special snowflake princess unicorn.

If she cheats, it's your fault. If you cheat, it's your fault. If you were bad, it's your fault. If you were too nice.... you guessed it... your fault. Women are never, ever responsible and this is socially mandated by society (ie all her friends, all YOUR friends).

Hence best to say "it didn't work out", as OP says.

Congratulations, being nice got you nowhere.

Right. And it won't even make you feel better without some epic level hamstering of your own.

Best to just enjoy yourself and do whatever you like, knowing it will end sooner or later whatever happens. She's not yours, it's just your turn.

[–]Shakydrummer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a little jarring how you described my entire dismantling of my LTR.

One of my buddies had given me some solid advice around it though: Who gives a shit what they think - you know the truth, so it doesn't matter what they say.

[–]Notassexylol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or typical "can you forgive me? After everything we have been through" and when you tell them "No" they start going apeshit over you.

[–]TheRealYekke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the past few days I ran into Nanette LaRee Hernandez's posts on otherwise sterile LinkedIn. Recommend everyone takes a look at her very red pill posts, although she writes from a women's point of view for women on how to keep their men happy. The refreshingly harsh take she has on breakups initiated by men for being sexually unfulfilled made me giggle. Nice versus bad...we're neglecting the bit where a man does propose and the 4 years after the proposal (1 year pre, 3 years post wedding). It appears to me that the new normal is an extended try before you impregnate period at the end of which you decide whether to divorce. Too much of the talk I see on this sub-Reddit is focused on getting into a relationship and the after of a divorce. Once you're married even the nice guy is going to tire quickly if not getting the kind of sex he got before and the frequency thereof. So nice or bad, lets skip to this neglected topic?

[–]nonstoplife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex-wife of many years recently broke up with me. She told everyone we knew that the break-up was all my fault. She even made up a story that I abused her, apparently by not devoting myself to her and not making her happy. She spun the abuse story to whoever would listen. At first I was defensive and said too much. Your father gave you awesome advice, and I wish I had gotten the same advice. Shut the fuck up and move on with life.

[–]Terdmuffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To correct your intro, sexual strategy is amoral, not immoral. The way you use it is either immoral or moral.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just nexted a plate that disrespected me. She lost her shit. Started demanding that I come meet here NOW. Ok, at 10PM. Ok, at midnight. No. I'm good. It's ok. All the best.

Wow the list of vindictive poison just spewed out. Found out the disrepsect was worse than I thought; I started to get into a back and forth and realized. "Nope, this isn't worth it. She's gonna shit talk you like every other narcissistic sociopath out there. Just block her and move on.

So I did. It wasn't easy, she was hot. But man, good pussy only comes in size psycho.

Actually, the sex was meh anyways. hahahah

[–]BobbyPeru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is all true, but who cares what she says and does once you've broken up.

[–]Sephar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A little courtesy goes a long way. I make it a habit to be kind--not nice. Flings with girls come like ebb and tide; as long as they are fun and contributing to my mood, girls stay around. As soon as drama gets involved or women start to ask when we are taking things to the next level I tell them that I am not interested in that sort of thing and would like them not to bother me with it. If this is a problem for them, they can go; if not, they may stay. I've never had any fights or drama after I have expressed this to them, whatsoever. They slowly fade out of my life or stick around for a longer while until they then slowly fade, again. It's good.

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you do?

Wait...so what do you do?

(Do you bad mouth the ex? Do you publicize all the shit she did?)

[–]LOST_TALE[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what's the self-interested way to breakup?

[–]Isdogatree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twisted irony: if you want to avoid being the bad guy, never commit.

[–]lucascumming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Remarkable post... The insight is real... I have had experienced this not just through LTR but also from my own mother... even though this woman has done some seriously insane things(smashed ipad, broken laptop[paid 4 w/ my money fyi], stolen my money, thrown pans at me, psychotic temper tantrums & mental breakdowns over miniscule happenings that 99% of ppl would overlook..etc) which were never retaliated by me because im a NICE guy.. but somehow whenever her friends or clients from work would catch me around, more often then not, id get some some sly demeaning remark like.. "better take it easy on your mom there" or "i hope your behaving yourself at home" which really had me flabbergasted tbh and made my blood boil a wee bit... part of me wanted to confront them but my concious self would knew stirring more drama would be just as bad.. but even still! to think that she could treat me so horribly behind closed doors then paint me in such a negative light to everyone else... and make it seem like shes the victim! This is truly a realization that must be made and im glad youre here so you wont fall victim to these crasp tactics employed by woman(and men) to downplay you and gain the empathy of others. Just know that anyone can make you out to be whatever they want you to be(media scandals, etc,etc) so dont let other peoples thoughts mess up what you have going on.. dont put up with any of that nonsense because thats actually them manufacturing problems and not really any of your concern. thank god she kicked me out when i was 15 cuz living at my grandmas has been so much less stressful and a real eye opener to someone whos been surrounded by bullshit their entire lives... #DONTACCEPTTHEBULLSHIT #DONTBEaVICTIMofCIRCUMSTANCE have a great day! -peace, luv &positivityyy

[–]Cozc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post for everything but a cheater. Ive been cheated on and had friends cheated on, so if a chick in our circle is a cheater and someone asks ill let them know shes a skank

Dont wanna see that happen to a bro

[–]CHIPPENDALESIXNINE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You took the thought right out of my head. If you just drop things and let her go, she'll try and get you back and be madly in love with you every time. The second you go back you're in her frame. She'll find another way to treat you like shit in hope that you'll give her the opportunity to make you look like the cause of the breakup and the one in the wrong.

[–]0newinged points points [recovered]

Is this even true? Isn't it about intent?

I like making people happy. When i have a girl over i'll make breakfast in the morning. I don't want to impress her, i just like i when people enjoy the fruits of my labor. I expect nothing in return (thou i most likely already have fucked her). It's about intent. I get my joy put of the joy i bring in others. I don't expect anything in return. I also stop any joy giving the second a get the impression i'm being used.

You can't cater to women and expect respect. You can be a caregiver and demand respect.

[–]Dragon_Garoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is key! Do what makes you happy. Nothing wrong with making food if that's something you enjoy. When you dont' feel like it and they get all 'aren't you making me breakfast?' nope.