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Some words to eliminate from your vocabulary (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by petersen2massive

[removed]

[–]MrAnderzon 308 points309 points  (5 children)

The words are: Well , I mean, I think

To eliminate

I saved this. Good post

[–]1OneRedYear 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Should. Use it sparingly. It easily turns into passive aggressive bossiness or a whining with overuse.

[–]AlphaNathan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why was this removed? Can you PM me the post?

[–]Battle-Scars 119 points120 points  (8 children)

Get rid of the word "just" from your vocabulary too.

[–]iloveturks 60 points61 points  (1 child)

This, one thousand times over. I was going to post this myself. Make sure to upvote, this is hands down the most important word(s) to eliminate, probably even more so than 'I think'.

Just is mousey, safe and inoffensive. "Just calling to see if you have any space for a reservation tonight". That's how a woman would make the call. A man says "I'm calling to make a booking for 2 tonight".

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Subtle, but very impacting difference. Thank you for pointing this one out.

[–]bigandfullballs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Was going to add this. You beat me to it.

[–]petersen2massive[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Great addition. "Just" is another word that makes you seem incredibly unsure if overused or used wrongly.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Woah, I use this one alot. Good call

[–]Hector_Castillo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminded me to Ctrl + F "just' in my book. Way too many iterations of it when writing.my mind. Deleted all of the entries. In an 800 page document, had about 80 instances of it. Thank you, good sir.

[–]TommyTheThird 26 points27 points  (4 children)

This is valid. These are too common in my vernacular

[–]Kromohawk 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Well, to be fair they are very versatile words. I think anything that can be used everywhere will be, well at least in my experience.

[–]enadelb 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I mean, I think I see what you did there.

[–]Kromohawk 5 points6 points  (1 child)

In all seriousness though, I visualize everyone who types that way as a dork

[–]therealpkg 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Let's make it even easier: don't qualify your statements (or thoughts, observations, perspectives, advice, etc). If you know what you're talking about, you don't need to qualify it. If you don't, you shouldn't be talking about it.

[–]willswag910 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When ever you talk to a doctor they very rarely qualify their statements. It makes them look more professional

[–]The_Tempestuous_Man 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I took note of this with dating apps. I used to always start with 'well', eg. "well let's...", "well we should...", etc. Man I cringe at my previous beta male behaviour.

[–]1SirKolbath 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We all do, brother. We've all done it. We all keep moving past it.

[–]Flozilla22 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Likewise. I can still hear echoes of that in social interactions since having discovered this mindset and wonder why I invested so heavily in beta like behavior. I get "The Imperative", I get societal influence, but I am more curious why for myself I had compromised a sense of self worth to go with the perception of "the flow" that was ever-present.

[–]poopdeck 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Add 'literally' and 'awesome' to this list.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 15 points16 points  (3 children)

'Literally' is fine if you're using it correctly.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

"Literally" is best used where "figuratively" belongs.

It's fun to watch people fight with themselves about whether or not they should correct you.

[–]pezzaperry 4 points5 points  (1 child)

And make yourself look retarded in the process

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is a good thread, but here is something people need to keep in mind about this. If you do not change your frame trying to change your words won't work. If you are in frame then you will naturally remove all these words from your vocab. What I mean is, if you try to stop saying like 10 different words, you will constantly be assessing what you are saying which means you will be way in your head all the time. Instead focus on being confident and direct. I guarantee you will naturally remove those words from your vocab.

[–]Galactic-Unicorn 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Summed up here.

[–]bettrl8thannevr 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I have to agree, especially with the use of "sorry." If your frame is in the right place, you should never have to apologize for your actions. Good post.

[–]Trooper_1868 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The word "LIKE" before every bloody sentence or comma

[–]TheRealYekke 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also remove the words Hot Smoking Ugly

Instead Cute Ok Not My type

[–]Vulgrr_Display 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Kind of, sort of, and pretty much also need to go.

I'm from the upper Midwest, and these 3 things mean something totally different if you talk to someone from northern Illinois, Wisconsin, or Minnesota than they do anywhere else.

I have a terrible habit of starting almost every sentence with one of these three things.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

these 3 things mean something totally different if you talk to someone from northern Illinois, Wisconsin, or Minnesota than they do anywhere else.

Sounds very interesting. Can you elaborate? Grew up in Northeasterm Illinois here.

[–]Vulgrr_Display 1 point2 points  (3 children)

https://youtu.be/WDA6lYaCPbs

This video hilariously sums up how different people out in the areas settled by Scandinavians talk.

Pretty much, saying those statements is a way of putting what your saying in the form of a negative to ease the impact to not be offensive.

For instance. You go to a mechanic in these places and they will say, your rotors are sort of shot. Someone who is from there hears, "I can't believe you even drove the car here without dying because they are so bad." If a person was from outside the region, they hear, "you still have time left on these rotors, and everything is fine."

It's a major struggle for me moving to Florida and selling to people who moved here from the Northeast part of the country.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

https://youtu.be/WDA6lYaCPbs

"Bigger Hammer Hardware....they're just as friendly as your next door neighbor...without the sarcasm that hurts so much."

I almost died!

Also- love the Foreign Phrase - Translation! LOL! How accurate is this video? I mean, it's delivered tongue-in-cheek. That aside, is it accurate?

[–]Vulgrr_Display 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's scary how accurate it is. If you are talking to someone that seems to hate themselves they are probably from the Midwest in those areas.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]Hector_Castillo -1 points0 points  (1 child)

You might be accurately reading people's motivations when using it, but there is a genuine distinction between the inclusive-or and the exclusive-or. It's more ambiguous to use "or," logically, since in classical logic, "or" is exclusive when you use a truth table, hence the dual use of "and."

And/or = inclusive "or"

For people who are OCD with their assertions, it serves a purpose.

[–]annospig 2 points3 points  (9 children)

I actively try to avoid saying the word "so" as well because I once used it as a filler word.

"So how are you doing?" versus "How are you doing?"

[–]11223345aad 0 points1 point  (8 children)

I usually use "so" as a transition. Is that wrong?

[–]petersen2massive[S] 4 points5 points  (6 children)

I recommend a bit of silence, confident smile and introduce the new topic confidently.

The reason many of us use fillers is because we're afraid of a bit of silence. A little silence is great if you aren't​ being awkward during it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I recommend a bit of silence, confident smile and introduce the new topic confidently

So why did you remove your post?

[–]petersen2massive[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Which post are you talking about?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

This post. The detail of your post says [removed].

[–]petersen2massive[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I can open it on my computer. If I had deleted it the detail would say [deleted]. My guess is it was removed for some reason.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That is horrible (that it was removed). It's one of the best posts out there. What's up with that, moderators?

Here's what I see in my screen on the top page of this post (copied and pasted, not sure how to do a screenshot):

Some words to eliminate from your vocabulary

(self.TheRedPill)

submitted 6 days ago * by petersen2massive

[removed]

[–]petersen2massive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PM me and I'll send it to you.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 2 points3 points  (5 children)

The important lesson here is that the way you choose to phrase something is part of the personal impression you convey to others.

Once you realize this, you'll also realize that there are many weak words and phrases that you should strive to eliminate from your speaking and writing.

I'll add a couple:

  • "Um": there's no reason to say this in your writing as it conveys a feminine protest/snark. "Um well I disagree." Women say "um..." often and it is not masculine.
  • "I dunno": also a weak phrase to indicate that you're not sure if a statement is correct or not. "It's not always that straightforward" conveys more authority.

Edit: another big one: phrasing statements as questions, especially when saying your name.

Example:

  • "Come with me to my hotel room." "But I'm married?"

[–]theredpill196 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I agree, but I have some contention on your last point:

"I dunno": also a weak phrase to indicate that you're not sure if a statement is correct or not. "It's not always that straightforward" conveys more authority.

Simply saying "I don't know" would strike me as a straightforward response that would facilitate the conversation in most cases. I can see how using that too often would be off-putting, but are you suggesting to always substitute with something along the lines of "It's not always straightforward"?

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I should have clarified my point. "I don't know" meaning that you do not know the answer a question is fine.

  • Example: "Who stole your computer?" "I don't know."

Saying "I don't know" or especially "I dunno" as a way of indicating that you're unsure or as a way of disagreeing with someone's point, that's what looks weak.

  • Example: "All women are like that." "I dunno, I've known some women who are not like that..."

For examples, search twoxchromosomes for the word "dunno":

  • "This is a throwaway account. I don't really know how to explain this, but it really bothers me, and well, I dunno.."
  • "I dunno, I just feel...odd coming on now knowing that I could be talking to any one of those people."
  • "...I'm pretty sure I have no way ever to effectively talk to my daughter about, I dunno, things...."
  • "Why does society say boys will be boys, you just need to ignore it because it's your fault for being in a public place, fully clothed, at the same time a horny guy walks by? I dunno guys. We have got to treat each other better than this. "

[–]theredpill196 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I see-- that makes more sense. Tangentially, I have a concern and would like your advice:

I'm pretty serious about self honesty and admitting the limits of my own knowledge, but I'm afraid that might be hurting my status.

I'm constantly refining my mental models and challenging my assumptions, but I struggle with being able to integrate that with speaking authoritatively. I try to be as epistemically open as possible as always keep in mind how limited my knowledge actually is.

Is it best to just speak with authority any way and assume that being ignorant in the grand scheme of things is just how it is for everyone (which it is).

For instance, someone asks me, "Hey, theredpill196, what's your view on nuclear energy as a alternative to fossil fuels?"

Would it be fine to say, " I think it sounds very promising, but there's a lot on the matter that I don't know. I wonder how a break through in fusion energy would impact the world. Fascinating subject."

Rather than pretentiously trying to act as if I knew what I was talking about when I in fact, did not?

I'll use a second example which may be more pertinent to sexual strategy:

I'm in a frame control battle with a girl, but I end up deciding she has a better point.

I'm assuming the best way to handle this would be to save face as a dominant man while admitting that she has a good point and has managed to change my point of view but being careful not to do so submissively, showing that I'm leading and came to consensus with her rather than being a push-over.

Would you say I've got the right take on this? I'm still learning the basics of frame control, and I've been told before that conceding to the woman is going to hurt your standing with her, even if it's you recognizing she was clearly right about something, so it's best to sway her to your, even if she's logically correct. To me, that sounds like a poorly socially calibrated attempt at being dominant.

Perhaps I have a poor conception of frame control and just need to study up some more.

What's your take?

[–]TimeIsInTheDetails 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Don't take this as criticism. It is constructive feedback.

"I try to be as epistemically open as possible" --> I am as epistemically open as possible.

"I think it sounds very promising" --> It sounds very promising.

"Rather than pretentiously trying to act" --> Rather than pretentiously acting.

"I'm assuming the best way" --> I assume the best way.

The aim is to convey the same message with minimal words. If removing a word doesn't change the meaning of the sentence, it doesn't need to be there.

[–]theredpill196 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, that follows what I've learned in writing and I need to get better at not being so verbose,but one example did change the meaning of my sentences quite a bit.

"I try to be as epistemically open as possible." I typed it this way precisely because I am only trying; I've still got work to do on becoming more open-minded than I already am, to say that I'm already there is a lie. Would it be better to let that fact slide under the table so I can appear more assertive/ dominant, or is it fine to make staying true to the facts my top priority?

[–]RedPillFusion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"So" at the beginning of your sentence (hipster context) is also ridiculous.

"Sort of" used when searching for noun, adjective, or adverb is equally eyeroll inducing.

[–]butter_coffee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some more:

"I feel like"

"I'll try to" (saying you'll try is like saying you're going to fail)

Added: "it would be nice if"

Added: "haha" or "lol" ("haha I think you're great", "lol so true")

[–]The-Hardball-Player 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Do not say how you think/feel/believe.

The way to say how you feel/think/believe is to say what is.

That is how we tell the universe "I think/ I feel/ I believe"; by saying how it is.

Similarly, do not ask people to do things.

The way to ask people to do things is to tell them.

By telling them what to do we are really just asking.

Asking for things and saying "I think/feel/believe" is saying that not even YOU believe in YOU. No one else will either.

[–]petersen2massive[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This is incredible advice! The very core of my post. Whatever comes out of your mouth should be reaffirmation that you have things figured out and you fully believe in your worldview.

After all, you can't expect someone to believe in your worldview if you don't believe in it yourself.

[–]The-Hardball-Player 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thank you. Excellent post.

I'm new here. Nice to meet you.

[–]drnemola 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I understand what you mean, however there is a chance of being percieved as arrogant and rude.

Explan the social context and provide some examples please.

[–]petersen2massive[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Did you watch Get Out?"

A - "Yes, I think it was a good movie."

B - "Yes, it was a good movie."

"What are your thoughts on watching TV?"

A - "I feel like too much of it is bad for you."

B - "Too much of it is bad for you."

The example is simplistic but you get the gist of it.

[–]The-Hardball-Player 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I'll take the chance 11 times out of 10.

  2. If you know what I mean then you know what I mean. The context is universal and I am the example.

:)

[–]Smigg_e 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also just. "Just" is such a timid word to use before you say anything. I get so bothered whenever I catch myself saying it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

good post.

The betafication of men today is insidious and even slight alterations such as removing supplicationary words from a mans vocabulary is effective

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]Valentinus9171 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Solid post. I would also add "umm" to the list.

[–]1SirKolbath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a brilliant post. It serves in so many places other than male/female interactions. Job interviews was the first place that came to mind when I read this.

[–]throwawayclarkken 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We need more posts like this . Some genuinely good suggestions

[–]Dingaste 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fewer words = more power. Simple.

[–]Need2LickMuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well.. I think I'm going to have to say NO to all that. Sorry.

[–]ImWithHerzog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Basically, trying to, I should

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to use "whoops" a lot instead of sorry. However I am guilty of using " I mean" quite often.

[–]Emzedef 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about please, thank you and sorry ??

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

[–]Yourstruly777 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The book "elements of style" deals with this but concerning writing style.

It is an eye opener. Either something is or it isn't.

Avoid qualifiers!

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]The-os2 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    "carry things low to your waist."

    Care to explain? Google results in topics regarding fitness.

    [–]185poundsofhatredWIP 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    If yoi're holding a drink, don't have it at your chest level, it looks like you're protecting yourself.

    [–]elruary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Its shit like this that reminds me why im in this sub.

    [–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

     

    Thinking in the positive choose the sentence that most efficiently expresses the idea you want to get across.

    Men are direct.

    Women are evasive and elusive.

    Be direct.

    (unless you have some Game play in mind where you need to manipulate with some additional language)

     

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    You think alphas use big words?

    [–]petersen2massive[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You're half-right. A balance needs to be struck between expanding your vocabulary and getting rid of useless/ frame-damaging words.

    As u/w8_a_sec rightly alludes to, if you use too many big words you'll come across as the furthest thing from alpha.