Guide for better 1-on-1 conversations with Women.

SmoothBeliever · 2017-06-19T16:19:10+00:00

EDIT: I deleted this post because I got banned from TRP so couldn't respond to any new comments - it had nothing to do with Politics for anyone wondering (that was my old account, posting too much on RP made it useless for commenting elsewhere so I deleted it after too much "Eurgh, typical Red Piller" Ad Hominem BS). I guess the Mods thought I was Trolling on another thread and they ban you pretty quick for that, no big deal, misunderstandings happen.

thetrpthrowaway · 2017-06-19T18:13:57+00:00

Good post. Literally every man who is not getting laid thinks that there is some sort of science to getting laid. Like they've got to use the right formula and everything has to be a certain way or it won't work.

It is ridiculously sad that there is no place in the world where more knowledge is available to a young man than this subreddit.

EightyTimes · 2017-06-19T20:38:50+00:00

Some good stuff, but lots of weird stuff too. Addressing symptoms and lots of advice that doesn't need to be advice.

Here are my additions:

If you happen to be holding something, like a drink, hold it at your waist and not up to your chest – this is a psychological indicator of tension and a physical barrier.

Source for this psuedoscience? If you're focusing on such a small detail then you've already lost.

You’re opener should be context specific

This point is the best advice of the bunch. A+. Take notes boys.

Stand still;

You're shifting weight and moving around because you're nervous. Approaches will make you less so.

Maintain intense eye contact when she’s speaking, glancing away occasionally so that you don’t end up staring.

Basically learn how to communicate with women the same way you already communicate with men. Relax bros.

Mind your facial expressions whilst she’s speaking

Do whatever the fuck you want to do with your face. What kind of advice is this?

Speak slowly and in a deep voice. This is absolutely critical

Speak in your relaxed voice. Don't artificially adjust your voice. It's super obvious and everybody can tell.

make sure you transition slowly from expression to expression

What is this, The Ultimate Guide On How To Human? Let your fucking face and voice do what it wants to do.

keep your answers shorter than hers and always turn the conversation back onto her.

Always good. People love talking about themselves. They will food good when they do it and they will attribute the good feeling to your presence.

flirting/seduction isn’t a box ticking exercise or a constant path of affirmation.

Treat conversations like a game. Have fun with it.

It’s fine to give small compliments to her but don’t overdo it

The reason 'negging' is even a THING is because if you're unafraid to be rudely honest about negatives, it means the nice things you say can be taken at face value rather than a manipulation tactic.

Defuse your compliments with a playful jab, poke, or joke to make them feel more genuine.

“What are your passions?”

Is the worst thing you can casually say to someone. It sounds so forced. Pick up on those things you've already heard, and use those to make assumptions about their passions. Outright asking is some highschool shit.

talk to as many women as you can, today, no excuses

DO IT UP!

Approach more and your nerves will die down. Thus eliminating most of the problems addressed here. You won't be shifting your weight or speaking in a higher than normal voice because you won't be fucking nervous.

Metalgear222 · 2017-06-19T15:55:00+00:00

Dat sign off though..

Good advice here on game. This guy fucks.

Incendior · 2017-06-19T17:33:00+00:00

I've had the best conversations with women when I treat them like dudes. I'm not homosexual so that takes away 100% of the pressure and I get to keep my dignity.

Whenever I reflect on past relationships with women I've done everything you posted not to do. It's nice to look back and learn and even see guides like this. Very educational and enlightening.

However, I'm just not motivated to ever embarrass myself again. I'd rather embarrass myself trying a new martial art, working out, asking a dumb question in class, or making money. The happiest times of my life are when I'm in this mindset. It's not so much giving up something I wanted to do but, more like accepting what I am unwilling to do.

Good job though. Although, I've let it go I still love learning about it. Quite a bit of what you've posted reflects what other sources have stated.

basebool · 2017-06-19T21:24:57+00:00

I think the idea is once you experience the essence of what you wrote it becomes second nature. That's why more emphasis needs to be put on go out and just talking and embaress yourself because that's the only way for people to learn. Not from strictly studying.

Fedor_Gavnyukov · 2017-06-19T22:33:56+00:00

another thing to mention, and this is what my acting coach taught me, is to nod your head as little as possible during conversations (not only with women, but in general). people overdo it all the time, yourself included. when it comes to women, picture yourself without nodding every 5 seconds in agreement with her story and then nodding as you would usually. the difference is huge and also shows your confidence levels.

red-arctic-tern · 2017-06-19T18:06:19+00:00

Talk to everyone like the op suggest (don't escalate with your boss obviously).

Specific advice about talking to women: make her feel tingles.

TerribleVania · 2017-06-19T20:00:25+00:00

"Get out of your own head when speaking to other people" but keep in mind this checklist of like 20 things, including your own facial expressions...

reckonaway · 2017-06-19T17:34:51+00:00

Everyone should focus the most on the second point

brotherhood-of-man · 2017-06-19T21:34:24+00:00

Do not under any circumstances, no matter how busy the environment you are in, keep diverting your attention from her to other things and other people.

WHY???

That's basically what all the beta orbiter do. They put the woman on a pedestal, and ignore everything else around them, "protecting" her from other men.

Salted_Pretzel · 2017-06-19T21:50:54+00:00

Wow, these are really good advice and reference. I've been focusing on two things; eye contact and voice. Any tips on those?

thoughtlow · 2017-06-19T23:41:51+00:00

This is a goldmine. Thank you and I would like to see part 2

suske127 · 2017-06-20T04:21:40+00:00

I read this when you first posted and it was one of the best articles I've come across on here. Helped me immeasurably in life; and I'm very glad you reposted as a refresher to me, and because this is a must read for newcomers.

stoicmarcus · 2017-06-20T17:04:16+00:00

Unpopular opinion.

Although I agree with your points, I have another advice for anyone looking for improving conversations with women.

The old me would have tried to learn all these points, reading and rereading the post. Now I've understood that for me it's basically unuseful beacause the worst thing you can do when you are talking with a woman is thinking about some post you've read on reddit.

Focus on her, on the flow of the conversation, feel free to express yourself.

Confidence is built on experience, not post reading on Reddit.

The way you talk, your body language, everything that you communicate are an external representations of the way you feel inside. And, I repeat, the only way you can improve is trial and error. It's never gonna be perfect, but you'll improve, I guarantee you. Put yourself in situation that cause you anxiety and the results will come without any further reading.

Beyond a certain point, reading and overanalyzing conversations become mental masturbation.

The bottom line is: don't focus too much on theory, just go outside, make mistakes, enjoy the life.

Theory is a good way to start, but in the past I noticed I focused to much on it and to learn every possible way to handle a conversation.

Fuck that.

If you think about it, the very fact that you put so much effort to speak with a woman is kind of pedestalizing her.

MattyAnon · 2017-06-19T16:52:09+00:00

I originally uploaded this post back in March (under an account I’ve since had to delete)

You can't prove this was you... if indeed it was you... so you should credit the original author.

crazitomali · 2017-06-19T17:12:08+00:00

Reminds me alot of what i leatned during my RSD Nation days. Learning from todd and tyler on youtube

RedPimpin · 2017-06-19T22:21:37+00:00

never understood the talk slowly and deep thing, its like wanting to act like a 'boss type' person, its as real as driving a mercedes makes you a 'boss'

just find your own style and stick with it, dont try to be a 'boss', thats something you saw on disney movies

facelips · 2017-06-19T22:58:13+00:00

aintain intense eye contact when she’s speaking, glancing away occasionally so that you don’t end up staring. When you’re speaking punctuate it with sweeping gazes around the room or the area you’re in.

Everything seems great except for this. Please do not ever do this. This is the advice given to sales people, to psychologists, and to priests that makes them seem to unendurably awful. No one wants some terrifying creep boring their eyes into your soul. I have sales Associates who do this and everyone mocks them with savagery for it. Terrifying habit. Please don't.

Ether_Freeth · 2017-06-20T06:05:53+00:00

Nice write up.

Looking forward too part two.

showerdudes99 · 2017-06-20T06:16:35+00:00

I've heard so many mixed things on TRP. So which is it going to be. Do you ask a girl questions like an interview or should you mainly focus on making statements ?

nica-dan-cs · 2017-06-20T08:06:18+00:00

"Your opener should be context specific" I don't want to be rude, but why? This is a geniune question. I heard a lot of men say you should be direct with the "You're cute" kind of opener. And being direct shows more confidence. Also what does "context specific" mean exactly.

theoctopuss · 2017-06-20T12:58:54+00:00

I'll share an anecdote.

I was a sophomore in college. I was in an entry level English class that didn't have much substance. Like every guy in existence, the first thing I did was scan the room for the hottest girls. In total there were 3 of them, two of them about 8, one between 6 and 7.

Girl 1 was the jersey shore looking chick. Tan skin, black hair, and an amazing body. Girl 2 was a redhead, great rack, decent body, and had the best face of the 3. She didnt seem lile the popular type. Girl 3 wasn't the best. Good body, ok face, and she was Colombian or something. She seemed like the nerdy perfectionost type, but I would later find out she was a drug addled hoe.

So I plant myself square in fron of Girl 1. If the other two saw me talking to this bird my preselection would go through the roof. I sit down, turn around, and introduce myself. I could tell that she wasn't used to guys approaching her like that, but the masculine energy was too much for her puny loins. She looked at me with a blank expression for a second, then told me her name. I talked to her for a second then directed my attention at one of the bros mid sentence. I glance over at girl 2 and saw her staring a hole through me. She snapped out of after a second and didnt try to look at me the rest of class. I was ignoring girl 3. Its never a good idea to get them entangled in a love pyramid.

For about a week I would flirt with girl 1. I got her number (girl 2 saw this, insane amount of preselection). She was soaking it up, even though she was shy and nervous at first. Most of the other people in class literally never said a word, so it was pretty much only me, girl 1, and dude bro having bantz.

Once it was apparent girl 1 was going to be no more than a preselection tool, I commenced part 2 of my plan.

The class started as normal. Good times with girl 1, bro dude, etc. Girl 2 had started a friendship with this wildebeast looking girl which played into my favor. Class ends and we all start filing out. I walk beside girl 2 and introduce myself. "Hey, I'm (theoctopuss)." was all I said. She smiles and says her name. I tell her Ill see her around and walk away.

An hour later she sends me a facebook request (back when it was big). I accept. I get a message from girl 2. It said "hey (theoctopuss) :)". I was in. I messaged her back a bit later. I say "i noticed your hair, its nice." She responds with "you want to pull it?" Fuck, I had never met a girl who was so forward.

I hang out with her that day and we smash like rabbits. We hooked up almost every day for a month or so, then she got weird. One thing I did get out of her was this. She says "We never would have gotten together if you hadn't introduced yourself to me that day." What I took from it was that because I had the confidence and energy to approach her proved that I was a man in her eyes.

The point is, you have to approach because they sure as shit won't approach you.

EscortSportage · 2017-06-20T18:47:05+00:00

-hold the drink with your left hand, so when meeting new people and shaking their hand your hand will not be cold and wet.

Galactic-Unicorn · 2017-06-19T20:30:10+00:00

What has TRP become lately?

I'm reading this imagining an autist trying to apply it like a formula.

Want to talk to a girl? Just do it.

If you're unable to speak to women, read the sidebar and lift until you can.

ihatebeingblack27 · Mon Jun 19 17:21:26 2017 UTC

You want a simple way to have a GOOD relationship with any and all women whether it's work relationship or romantically you wanna know the key here it is....... LIE TO THEM......LIE LIE LIE.....LIE ALL DAY,EVERYDAY AND TWICE A DAY!!!!! I challenge anyone here to find a man who has a good relationship with any woman that hasn't lied to her at LEAST 6-10 times!!!!

CashRulesItAll · 2017-06-20T06:11:12+00:00

this was cool until you said to ask a girl where she got her necklace? who cares?? we're trying to get to the point and slay buns here not ask her weird shit man good content otherwise.

2017-06-19T20:43:24+00:00

I originally uploaded this post back in March (under an account I’ve since had to delete)

Because you're a little college-aged boy who can't own his words.