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Off TopicSeneca once said “The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today. You are arranging what is in Fortune's control and abandoning what lies in yours.” (self.TheRedPill)

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“The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today. You are arranging what is in Fortune's control and abandoning what lies in yours.”

-Seneca

The stories we tell ourselves

  • Things will be better once I graduate

  • Things will be better once I move out of mums place

  • Things will be better once I buy a car

  • Thing will be better once I get that promotion

  • Things will be better once I get a girlfriend

  • Things will be better once the kids grow up

  • Things will be better once the divorce is filed

The illusion of Tomorrow

Our own minds betray us by creating the illusion of a better tomorrow. To the mind, today is not good enough and we must anxiously await the promised land of tomorrow. Many realize, usually when it is too late that they have fooled themselves.

How many years of waiting will it take you to realize that the quality of your life is not entirely dependent on your outside circumstances? Hedonic adaptation is a real thing.

Tomorrow is not even guaranteed so why do you sacrifice what you have in the moment for it?

Freedom is to embrace the present moment entirely; freedom comes when you realize that life will never change unless you change. If you cannot enjoy what you have now, how are you going to enjoy what you have tomorrow?

But I will have more stuff!

Now you might say, “I will have a better car in the future, and would have paid of my student debt”. This might be true, but the mind will always find new problems to fixate on.

You might have paid of your student debt, but now you have to deal with a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend. You might have got out of the relationship, but now you have to deal with the stress from your job at work. Can you see what's going on here?

Shit happens, shit will always happen, do not for one moment think that the day will come when all your problems are gone. Even those who have attained extensive material wealth, and experienced all the pleasures that they ever wanted Still have problems. This perfect tomorrow will never come, however you can enhance your experience in the present moment by paying more attention to it. There is no other life, than what you are experiencing now.

What you can do

This understanding of the inherent problems that will arise through out life is not pessimism. It is a realistic outlook that allows you to aspire for developing a better tomorrow without jeopardizing what you have today. You will not be blinded by the illusion of a perfect tomorrow, allowing you to fully embrace today. With this realization you might find yourself:

  • Looking at the sunset more.
  • Feeling the breeze in your hair
  • hugging the ones you love just a little tighter
  • Drinking your tea just a little slower

Come back to the moment, come back to the now. This is where life happens.


[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 38 points39 points  (7 children)

My take away is this: Don't hope it will get better, don't wait for it to improve if there is anything you can do right now to improve it. Make it happen. Sitting back and waiting is putting your future in the hands of others, or on random chance. You must build today what you'll enjoy tomorrow as well as years from now. Without a plan of where you want to be, and actively steering towards that, you'll run around aimlessly rather than get shit done. Waiting to get more muscle, but not hitting the weights hard will get you nowhere.

This thinking from Seneca is right insofar as you should be active rather than passive. Live in the now, but plan your future and don't wait for it to come around, go get it.

Some things you must wait for. I'm constantly waiting on something, right now it's weather since I can't work in mud. I'm doing everything else while I wait for the ground to dry. I have to wait for enough money to do things, but that time isn't spent sitting around hoping I'll win the lottery.

My life has been filled with shit, horror, abuse, beatings, wars, divorce, and all manner of fucked up things. I didn't get stronger because of the bad shit others did, but because I made it happen, I put in the work. It's been a constant struggle to make my life better. Every time I had to wait for others to do something, they fucked it up or screwed me over, so I had to make good things come to me. If I didn't work towards a better life, one would not have fallen in my lap.

[–]youkickmyd0g 4 points5 points  (6 children)

My life started working as a dish washer and dropping out of high school, no silver spoon. Today I am pretty rich (not wealthy yet) and people look at me and assume some kind of privilege. F that, it's consistently working toward a beautiful vision of the future. I got lost in that for a while when things worked out great, started to cling and got miserable and fell down a couple rungs. But despite all the setbacks, indeed, it's starting to pop off again. Last salary was about a quarter mill, should make about that with bonus at my new gig... even if it's 50 bands less it's worth it, everyone in the company has workout stuff blacked out of their shared calendars and people leave to do triathalons and we're basically libertarians and anti-feminists so it's a much better setup... took a lot of Hell to reach this point indeed. I say this, it sounds like bragging and of course it kinda is, but I like to give people the idea that if a kid like my old self could do it then an adult can too.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

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    [–]youkickmyd0g 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    I always felt as though I was making good money and have had more than I felt that I needed... until I started taking the long term into account and life got rocky. Then the feelz and realz didn't match up. From that perspective I've only been making enough money since swallowing the RP a few years ago, a bit before 30, and good money came another year later with that previous salary.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]youkickmyd0g 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Yea I'm a programmer/consultant working on biz-to-biz systems. It changes officially a lot with every job, I feel like an artist... eg. I expect the same benefits a musician or pro athlete enjoy and people give me what I ask for.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]youkickmyd0g 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You can do it. I recommend a state like California that is very pro-employee... side-hustle is heavily protected by law. Career works the same as hypergamy, your skill is the pussy.

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 58 points59 points  (11 children)

         

        I spent the 1990's working my ass off doing computer programming all based on the dream that I'd strike it rich and that a good women would want to marry me, have kids, then live in a suburban home.

        Then I started actually looking at how women behaved (and remember this was 20 years ago) and saw how degenerate and open about it they were becoming and realized I'd done all that work chasing a dream that no longer exists in Western civilization.

        Be aware of what is real now.

        Grapple with the Blue Pill mythology and it's degenerate reality today before you get yourself locked into a long fantasy.

         

        • The reality of the Blue Pill mythology is very grim.

         

        Women manipulate you into marriage (or kids) then turn you into a source of income after they Divorce Rape you and fuck the next available Chad.

        I have two brothers who both married, had their wives start fucking other guys, then divorced and went on paying Child Support while the women took everything.

        That's the reality now... Divorce Rape happens to 50% of marriages in under five years.

        Five fucking years !!!!

        You could have spent ten to fifteen years building up your wealth and then maybe 25-50 married "duty sex" fucks later you are out and she takes everything.

        Live in realism... be stoic and know what is real now...

         

        [–]electricspresident 10 points11 points  (3 children)

        I've studied more statistics from all over the world and I've concluded that IN WESTERN CULTURE like NA, Europe and few parts of South America, atleast 85% of marriages over the course of 15 years end in divorce and as you increase the number of years the number goes up ...eg: a couple that got married in 2000 would now have a child turn 18 by 2018 this ends up with the parents realising they don't need to stay together for the child boom! DIVORCE after 18 years of marriage boom! Alimony...now the Dad goes u know 18 years is pretty good actually I just got tired of her, still love her and half his net worth is gone... and just imagine the longer you're married the more you lose at the divorce, just not worth the risk guys

        Today's women see marriage as a wedding party and men see it for family purposes but few actually grasp the concept of FOREVER the rest of my life with one person and that's the problem

        That and of course they all hoes

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

         

        By not marrying you reduce the Alimony threat.

        But Child Support can take a huge chunk whether you marry or not so the system is broken.

        The entire Family Court system didn't exist before 1950.

        The whole thing needs to be declared unconstitutional and dismantled.

         

        Government should not be allowed in domestic affairs... period.

         

        [–]shanghai123456 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I've studied more statistics from all over the world and I've concluded that IN WESTERN CULTURE like NA, Europe and few parts of South America, atleast 85% of marriages over the course of 15 years end in divorce

        Source? The highest country seems to be Belgium right now for some reason with 71%.

        [–]electricspresident -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I cant quote divorce rate sources from all the countries all over the world, the exact statistic was not my point since I did this very very long ago but I tell u not to focus on that but rather this if u care about this concept look at it this way...

        In a town of only 200 people, 100 men and 100 women - let's say year 2000 all 100 men married corresponding 100 women -then in year 2001 out of 100 couples 10 couples got divorced ...d-rate: 10% -year 2002 another 10 couples got divorced ..d-rate(of 2002) : 10% But d rate overall so far is 20% And in this way by 2010 almost all of the original couples get divorced resulting in d rate over 10 years close to 100% -now here comes the funky part with our stats you see in year 2003 of the total 20 couples that got divorced 5 men and 5 women mixed up and remarried effectively changing their divorced status to married and assuming no couples got divorced in 2003 net d rate over 3 years goes down to 10% but this is not true since the original set of couples have been disrupted and hence why the real divorce rate is damn near 90%..

        Anyway I don't know, I'm not alpha I've not had success with chicks due to various issues but I'll say this from what I've seen at this point there really is no unicorn almost every decent girl u see today was at one time a slut. ..hell let her get dumped today and tomoro she'll be at the club grinding and making out with any hot dude...I've not got to experience the party world but holy fuckk it's crazy how much attention and dick girls can get ... imagine being a famous celeb having hot chicks throwing themselves at u everywhere ...yea that's a hot chick(7+out of10) daily life... You won't ever risk half ur net worth after u learn about a hot girls reality

        [–]Bathes_In_The_Styx 8 points9 points  (3 children)

        Good post as always, N. I posted below about Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" and was wondering if you have read it and what your thoughts on it may be. I only started reading it last night, but have already taken up its message. One of the best books I think I've ever read, and I've read a fair number.

        [–]fokm 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        I read the first free chapters of that book before going to bed one night and as I was falling asleep I had my first and only ever out of body experience. It was very surreal. Great book.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        There's a bunch of free PDF's online for it if you look it up.

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

         

        Have not read it, but don't let me stop you from finishing it.

        Reading is "thinking for yourself" about ideas presented to you.

        And long as you maintain your Frame and question everything all new evidence is to your benefit.

         

        [–]Ehipassika 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        It is great that the knowledge of the inner workings of female subconscious is available for us. Now what do we do with this knowledge, do we use it to enjoy our life better or do we become bitter that women are not the ideal we have created in our minds?

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

         

        We become realists... stoic realists... and make the best of things.

        The universe always has polarities.

        The Blue Pill mythology has tried to hide knowledge of polarity from us and attempted to get us to believe it doesn't exist.

        We know Lucy will not let Charlie Brown kick the football even though he's a really Nice Guy™.

        http://assets.gocomics.com/uploads/blogs/blog_image_3688_3808_Every_Charlie_Brown_Football_Gag_Comic_201701271219.jpg

         

        [–]1empatheticapathetic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Become bitter, definitely. Better yet, become butter.

        [–]AwakenedSovereign 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Well written with a strong message. The thing about always having new problems especially stands out. It's an echo of many other truths we have seen here:

        Ask not for a lighter burden, only broader shoulders.

        One must imagine Sisyphus as happy with his labors.

        Life is not a journey, as if you are trying to reach a destination. Life is the destination. Remember to live it.. smile.. dance.. and be present in the moment.

        [–]Bathes_In_The_Styx 7 points8 points  (3 children)

        This is very reminiscent of the book I'm currently reading, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I'm about a quarter of the way through, but am already incredibly impressed with what it has to say so far. When I started reading it, I was skeptical -- the preface seemed very new-agey to me. But I kept an open mind and already I am identifying with the ideas it espouses.

        The premise is that the future and past are not real. They are just constructs, abstract ideas that we humans have come up with. It says that the overwhelming majority of people are constantly living in the past or future and that lack of presence is what causes all the grief so many experience. The ultimate solution being of course, to be ever present and alert and to live in the NOW. Even though that's the essence of it, the book does a good job of explaining from every single angle you can think of. It's really something, I highly suggest it to anyone and everyone, especially if meditation is something you find worthwhile.

        [–]FreeRadical5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        That book contains life changing wisdom. I read it over and over year after year and it is the one thing I would credit as a massive contributor to my very successful life.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          10/10 comment. I like where you called him a 'beta cuck'. Truly inspiring.

          [–]-ATLAS-_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite authors! Here's another I literally have tried to read every single day at the start of my day for the last 13 years.

          "Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life." - Seneca

          [–]nasil_boyle_superim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Great post. Made me remember The Tartar Steppe by Dino Buzzati.Great novel though.

          [–]rrxckstxrr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I was just talking about this yesterday in a conversation with someone else. I was saying how there's no such thing as the future. How can we see something that hasn't come yet. We make our own future. It's like worrying . Worrying is pointless cause you are thinking about something that hasn't happened yet

          [–]sup1337hax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          The future is a mystery, the past is history, but today is a gift; that is why they call it the present.

          [–]1PantsonFire1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Well in all fairness things do get better once you get a car, get in shape and definitely once the divorce is filed lol. Just be sure not to lie to yourself. I found that most blue pill people have no realistic expectations off life.

          Two prime examples:

          • Some average Plain Jane who nears a solid 5 thinks she can land Chad and have him stick around. Nevah gonna happen

          • Beta manlet Chuck the Cuck wants to be the leader AMOG off his group of friends. All whom are physically and mentally more dominant. Mission Impossible 2.

          Generally if you set goals and plan out how you will achieve them realistically, then the sky is the limit. Bit if you get all wishy on things you'd want to have like a tolder without putting any brain or body power into it, well good luck. I'd like to believe most people on here have grown past the whole Ima eat Cheetos and drink Mountain Dew all day leveling my Tauren warlock and my girlfriend will be okay with it.

          [–]nonstoplife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I used to believe things would get better after I got married, graduated, got promoted, had kids, had kids grow up and move out, got bigger house, got house paid off, bought new car. Then my wife left and I believed things would get better after I found another woman, got divorce finalized, rebuilt my finances. It's a vicious cycle because I was looking outside myself at some happy future for things to make me feel better about myself, when all along the answer was always inside me at that moment. This post brought me back to what matters. Good post.

          [–]PM_ME_UR_TECHNO_GRRL 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Succinct and powerful. Great post.

          [–]Full-Time_Lurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          oh hey this is what my post was saying. nice. you say it better.

          [–]Deevoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Tim Ferris has just released three volumes of Seneca's teachings and letters, all free. I'm on my mobile so can't link but will provide later. Some really useful stuff on Stoic philosophy.

          [–]SnugglySadist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I for one, just did:

          Things will be better once I move out of mums place

          It actually is better.

          [–]Yumey95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          How do you know if you enjoy what you have now?

          [–]yescaman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This sound advice applies to any age or stage of life.

          critical thinking is still necessary but it's a good mindset to have.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          "Things will be better once I graduate Things will be better once I move out of mums place Things will be better once I buy a car Thing will be better once I get that promotion Things will be better once I get a girlfriend Things will be better once the kids grow up Things will be better once the divorce is filed" Oh please. When you get more friends life IS better. When you met new girlfriend life IS better. When your mother is not nagging life IS better. When you have any car life IS better. When you have more money and can afford better food, gym and doctors life IS better. Pls, it's not all in your head.

          [–]MorganTargaryen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          So I shouldnt have left my fat girlfriend for hopes of getting a better looking one? I should have stayed because she treated me good? I don't see how any of this applies as a rule