“Live as if your father were dead” –David Deida
Let me explain
Now before anyone gets this all fucked up let me explain the quote.
If you were lucky growing up, you would have had a father in the house, one that you could count on. Many of us looked at our fathers like superheroes as kids.
• If you were getting bullied at school, you could come home and ask your father for advice.
• If you liked a girl but didn’t know what to say, your dad would tell you the lines he used back in his day.
• If you needed help getting ready for your first job, your dad would give you some advice.
Boyhood to Manhood
However, there comes a time when boys must become men. It is during these times when they must gain complete independence and live as if their fathers were dead. This does not mean to ignore your father and never call him. Instead, you must learn to live a life on your terms and cultivate a degree of independence.
Men solve problems, and you must learn to solve your own.
Becoming a man means fully embracing this reality. Gone are the days where you looked to other people for the solutions to your problems.
• If your car breaks down on the side of the road, you are either going to fix it or call the mechanic or someone else trained to fix it. You are not going to call your dad for advice.
• If you want to change jobs, you are going to weigh out the pros and cons. You are not going to cry or ask your dad for his opinion.
• If you find a girl that you want to live with, you are not going to ask your dad for permission.
It's your life
You learned your lessons from your father, but as a man, you must make your own choices. Create your own values and live life by your own merits.
As a man, you are on your own in this world. Turn on the TV; if women or children die it’s a tragedy. If men die, no one really gives a shit, it’s expected.
So grab your balls and live life as if your father was dead.