How's it going fellow Redpillers?
Recently I've read so many so called Field Reports that basically say nothing about the social interactions that were going on and so much advice like "You have to be alpha!" and "Just be like this!"
However, I feel like some simple "Do this" and "Don't do this" theory is missing in here. Sure, complex theory has its place but I think that especially for newbies, some simple rules might be really helpful, so I decided to make a list of rules for a good conversation.
Rule #1 Do not complain
This should be a nobrainer, yet so many people fill their conversations with their complaints. Complaints about their work, their friends basically everything. Who gives a shit? Seriously, when you start complaining your conversational partner will just start thinking one of two things. First, "Man you're a little bitch" or "Man, I got it much harder than you". None of these will benefit you in any way or make up for a good talk. You will come across as a negative person. You don't want to be associated with negative feelings. Cut out ALL complaints. This will also be good for your mental health.
Rule #2 Do not judge
The western world is a free one. Everybody can do what ever the fuck he wants. Now this doesn't mean that you can't have an opinion. You can and you should. You can even voice it and discuss things (we'll come to this in Rule #4) but make sure that you do not judge.
What I mean by this: Imagine you are very religious and come to a party with a gay couple. Don't voice your disgust about it. Again, people will view you as very negative and they won't open up to you as they fear that you will judge them as well for something. You do not need to like it but just shut the fuck. Like I said before, this does not mean you can not have an opinion. If there is a discussion going on about politics, philosophy etc go join it and let them know your thoughts! Just make sure not to judge anybody for his.
Rule #3 Let them do the talking
Like Dale Carnegie said, a person can talk 95% of the conversation and have the feeling that he just had the best conversational partner ever. This is because people get the feeling of a good conversation when they are listened to, not necessarily because of your answers. So let them do the talking and listen what they got to say and throw in a couple of questions here and there. Now, I don't think your listening should be 95% because after a while they will notice that you're basically saying nothing. I think 70/30 is a good ratio.
Rule #4 Talk emotions, not facts
I can already see the uproar of this sub. "Never discuss your feelings!" Bear with me. I believe that talking about emotions is much more interesting than talking about facts.
"Yesterday I got up, walked my dog, did the groceries. Later I went to the swimming pool and jumped from a springboard." Boring. But when they start telling you that they were scared on that springboard, they didn't want to jump down because they were afraid of the fall, maybe because they fell from a tree as a child? Much more interesting already.
Your emotions build you as a person, facts do not. That's why it's important to talk emotions. You'll get different answers on the same question from everybody. This is interesting!
How do I get people to talk about their emotions? Just ask them! The next time somebody tells you something really boring about what they did, just ask them what they felt doing that. Also, the word "Why" is your friend.
"I want to study architecture!"
"As a child I visited Italy and was so impressed with all the buildings from the renaissance and from there on I always wanted to create something like that myself"
Great, you got a nice conversation going. You're getting to know more about him/her, he/she is sharing her emotions and is doing most of the talking. Well done!
I hope this helps out some people, especially the newbies. If you have feedback or advice, I'd appreciate it but remember to stay humble and friendly if you disagree. We are intelligent and civilised people.
Have a nice Day!