I’ve lurked this sub for long time now – over four years. I believe I’m finally at a point where I’ve amassed enough knowledge, observation, and experience to contribute some good content and give back to this community. I certainly don’t profess to be a guru; rejecting the blue pill is a mental battle I have with myself every single day. There is so much more to learn and to improve. A sincere thank you to the OGs, endorsed contributors, and quality posters here that keep me on the forward track.
My plan was to originally make a theory post, however I recently had an experience that is still fresh on my mind. So as my first post I instead present to you a field report.
TL;DR: Potential plate toys with me, tries to waste my time and relegate me to orbiter status over the course of 3 dates. I recognize her ultimate shit test and respond with the nuclear option of walking away. Positive results ensued.
I am in my late 20s and live on a very nice property by myself in the summer. I linked up with a 20 year old HB8.5 who was home from college through a dating app. She is very attractive and exactly my type – blonde, short, tight body and innocent face. We meet up for sushi since she’s not old enough to drink and I was craving it after the gym. At dinner, she immediately throws me shit tests about my age and how I’m significantly older than her. I make her laugh by agreeing and amplifying (e.g. “Yea, I hope you're good at mouth-to-mouth I could croak at any minute”). She insinuates that the age gap is kind of creepy. I was genuinely curious as to why she felt that way so I asked and she gave the typical feminist response, “Because it makes me wonder why you can’t get women your own age.” To that I thought to myself, if only you knew how unfortunately easy it is to do that. But I responded frankly and asked, “Do I look like the kind of guy who can’t get women his own age?” My SMV is high enough that she had to coyly respond with a no. “Younger women are just more attractive. You don’t need me to explain that to you.” Funny thing is after she felt comfortable with me she admitted to having dated guys my age previously. Ha. We have a grade-A shittester on our hands.
When we went back to my place for some drinks the barrage of tests and mind games continued. We started to make out heavily, but her ASD/LMR was strong and I couldn’t break it with any technique (e.g. escalate, back off, re-escalate). She was intent on maintaining some sort of innocent image that I know was not there due to TRP and the fact that she had already dated older guys. I held my frame and deflected all her skeptical remarks, negs, and borderline insults. Nevertheless she went home and I felt a bit defeated, though I could tell she was aroused and she promised to text me. So I didn’t contact her at all, and sure enough a week later she asks to hang out.
We have some drinks at my place and the heavy making out begins again, this time with her hand down my pants. Then, suddenly, she stops and climbs off me saying that she doesn’t “want to lead me on.” I gotta admit I was dumbstruck by the statement and how quickly she made the mood change. I knew from the moment I heard it that this was a monumental shit test but my brain scrambled for ways to respond. I basically said “Ok??” with a slight grin and look on my face that says you sound kind of psycho right now. It wasn’t a good response and I resigned to thinking I blew my chances for the night. I was in damage control after that point and made every effort to not seem butt hurt by what she just said. However I knew not all was lost as she seemed to have left my place happy and eager to see me again. After all, I knew this was a case where “judge a woman by her actions, not by her words” was in my favor; she claimed we weren’t going to do anything further but she was getting uncontrollably physical with me. I went no contact and had a feeling she’d text me again soon. She did.
This time I picked her up and brought her back to my place. Per usual there were shit tests left and right, but this time she’s also acting weird. We make out for a bit and then she quickly retracts. She jumps me again, then retracts. Her body language is tight and closed and she’s being cold physically, completely shutting down any and all of my attempts to escalate. But we’re still talking and watching Netflix getting along. I’m trying not to think too much of it just yet. Then, again out of nowhere, while keeping her distance from me on the couch, she drops that I’ll need to take her back home soon. It was still relatively early in the night. Wtf. Now how I handled this, what I later recognized as, epic shit test is the takeaway from this field report: If you feel your time is being wasted, walk away. Those who read The Millionaire Fastlane understand that time is man’s most valuable asset. Money is potentially unlimited, but time is very finite. If you have raised yourself to a man of worth, a man who has options, you should never give away your time cheaply. I believe Rollo (correct me if I’m wrong) wrote that a male version of a slut is someone who gives his time away easily as female sluts do their sex (i.e. male orbiters). This is all racing through my head as I start to get angry. She thinks she has the power to play serious games with me and I’ve about had enough. I would not be relegated to some orbiter who gets thrown a makeout session here and there as a way to keep me in check with a false sense of hope. I'm wasting my time with this one when I have other things and plates I could be doing. Granted they're not as young or as hot, but at least they're all over me when I see them.
Before the criticisms erupt, I am not suggesting that any time you spend with a girl that doesn’t involve sex is a waste of time. In this instance, she was wasting my time by doing exactly what she warned of: leading me on. Going hot and then going cold and playing with me like a cat does mice - not killing me but not letting me live either. So I channeled my inner stoic masculine energy and responded without emotion, “Why wait? I’ll just take you home now” and gently slapped her thigh as I got up from the couch. She didn’t get up immediately, looked up at me like a kid, and sadly mentioned that the show wasn’t even over yet. I told her the show was kind of boring and I was getting a bit tired anyways so we might as well just go now. Again, did everything to make sure I didn’t sound bitter when saying this, but she obviously sensed I was done with her bullshit and that I'd likely never see her again. I grabbed the remote and shut off the TV.
"But I don't want to go home yet :("
"Come on I already got up. Don't forget to grab your phone off the charger."
I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys and she realized I was serious. I also started texting my friend, knowing that she’d see this and run her hamster. Dread. Sure enough, we pass my bedroom on the way to the door and she suddenly stops and asks to see more of the inside. She sits on my bed and you can fill in the rest. Plated.
- Always be willing to walk away. The source of your power in any relationship stems from the ability to walk away. A corollary lesson is: embrace your internal anger and channel it in a cool, collected manner. Anger is healthy masculine energy that should shake those bluepill tendencies out of your body. However on the outside you should calm yourself, hold frame, and act stoic. One of the most BP things I could’ve responded with when she said she needed to go home soon is, “Really? Why? It’s still so earlyyy.” Like a sad bitch seeking approval. Get angry with the fact that this person, who happens to be very cute and has the halo effect, is playing with you and wasting your time. I'm not saying you should let stuff like this phase you - as a man with high SMV and options, one girl's actions should never break your inner mental frame and throw you back in the anger phase. In other words, channel that instinctual anger deep within you to reject the BP programming that leads you to be a pushover with beautiful women. Walk away with genuine indifference like an alpha because you should have better things and people to do. You can’t negotiate desire anyways. Not only will you minimize wasted time, but you actually increase your chances of her coming around.
- Recognize shit tests and don’t get discouraged by them. If she’s purposefully or instinctually firing questions at you to determine your worth, it means she’s giving you a chance to take her. Don’t mess up the opportunities. But if you do, do not try to overcompensate. When I pretty much failed her shit test of “I don’t want to lead you on,” I made sure to not be the first to contact her afterwards because that would’ve placed me further in the beta bucket. Make yourself more aloof and scarce if slipups occur.
- And to tie it together: Walking away is the nuclear-option tactic to pass an epic shit test. It exudes abundance mentality when done properly (you can't come off as bitter) and instills a serious sense of dread in a woman. Potential plate toying with you and denying any possibility of sex? Time to walk away. Girl you’re talking to at the bar calls you a creep? Walk away and talk to other girls, hotter ones if available. Your LTR blatantly flirting with another guy right in front of you? Epic shit test that can only be matched with walking away from the relationship altogether. In each of these scenarios, you retain the power and you cut your losses with respect to wasted time. It’s also likely in these scenarios that the women in question will develop attraction and try to reel you back (which is great in all but the LTR scenario, where she should be promptly demoted to plate status).