Summary: Women are turned on by fear, by men's aggression, by imagining a man "taking them". They love feeling like they're not in control.
There was a thread on another subreddit. The title may make you roll your eyes, but the insights it provides are valuable.
"Ladies, do women get wet like men get erections? I mean if you see a hot guy at the mall and you feel lust for him do you get wet?"
Let's begin with one of the most upvoted responses.
I require some mental stimulation and/or physical stimulation to start getting wet. A little fear helps a ton. Not like I want to be raped or anything. But if the guy is really aggressive and I feel like he might just take what he wants or if it's an ongoing relationship and I know he will or can just take me, that gets me wet.
Or imagining the guy taking me will get me there. I like sitting in class and imagining the more attractive men there aggressively using me. But I can't just look at one of them and think he's hot and get wet.
Of course being touched works too. My body has a mind of it's own. Someone touching me in a sexual manner has a pretty immediate physical reaction whether I was originally turned on or expecting/wanting to be touched sexually or not.
There's a lot here. Some of it is self-explanatory but a few points are worth noting:
- Fear arouses women. Being boring doesn't. Being nice doesn't. The worst thing you can do is to be someone who leaves no emotional impression on the people you meet.
- Notice that looks alone will not turn this woman on. You can look intimidating, be very handsome etc. But if you conduct yourself so that no one could imagine you fucking, and I mean FUCKING, you are nothing.
- Touch, gentlemen. If you're just starting out, you can't overdo it.
Biologically that all makes sense. A woman only needs to get wet if there is a real chance of intercourse. Seeing an attractive person doesn't make sex likely, but imagining him "taking you" could trigger that response.
This user gets it.
This user elaborates the idea:
Many women (and men) have a lot on their plate, a lot to think and worry about at any given moment. A lot of people just want to be able to relinquish control to a trusted source and enjoy the ride.
Notice she said she only wants men she already finds sexy, or men she's in an ongoing relationship with, to "take" her. I think the idea is, in this situation you're willingly giving control to someone else and can then lose yourself in the sensation of being "taken," of how badly they want you, how hot and sexy it makes you feel, how they can't contain their desire for you.
It's a very freeing experience, to be able to trust someone and feel comfortable enough to let them have their way with you, and know that you'll also have your own sexual needs taken care of.
This user is right to point out that you've got to have a reasonably high SMV for this to happen. If Billy Beta (see below) starts making women fear him by being aggressive then disgust will be the likely emotion. You need to have congruence. Your personality must add up. If you suddenly turn from being a beta into a more sexually aggressive person women are going to be shocked, and not in a good way. But when you're meeting new people, you are free from this.
Along comes Billy Beta, although I hesitate to call him such, as he is actually quite self-aware at the end:
As a man, this notion of women being aroused at the thought of "being used" or "taken" "aggressively" bugs me for some reason. My girlfriend LOVES it similarly, but in the back of my mind I just can't shake some minor feeling of disturbance.
As a guy, this idea of not being in control in that way is, for lack of better words, simply not appealing and it's hard for me to imagine why women feel that way. Especially when society plays up fear and distrust of others (being killed, robbed, raped, etc.), as well as women not wanting to be objectified, etc.
Has society just fucked with my programming or something?
Billy realises that his girlfriend is more turned on when he FUCKSTM her and yet he still feels uncomfortable. Billy is so close and yet so far.
"Has society fucked with my programming or something?"
YES, Billy it has!
Lessons learned: Cultivate your sexual assertiveness. Always lead women. Being bold is better than being hesitant.