Little background (skip if you don't care):
In high school I was the most beta unconfident person ever. I wanted to be accepted and liked by women so bad that I became friends with the most popular kid in school and copied everything he did. How he dressed, walked, talked, and acted. Looking back it was so fucking cringe worthy I get anxiety writing this. Anyway...
All I wanted like mostly all of us do, is for every woman to want me. I slept with 2 people in high school. One psycho and a fat bitch. Mind you I'm not unattractive. I just had no game. I left for college and since my friend wasn't there to mimic anymore I had no identity and had to find my true self I had to rebuild from the ground up, I resorted to drugs and became a heroin addict. I had a lot of lows as well as a lot of highs. But the end results were.
I'm clean now from drugs and alcohol. I have true core confidence. I've slept with over 80 women. And turned my life completely around. I became chad. Now I am in a LTR. Jacked. Financial stable. Owning my shit. And masculine as Fuck. I wasn't always like that but if I did it. So can you. But it doesn't happen over night
If this gets a good response I'll write more post. Either way I'm writing this to not only help other new guys, but also to look back on and reflect what worked for me. This is the first point I want to talk about...
When it comes to approaching women the main thing that holds us back is fear of rejection. Rejection stings for anybody, but when it comes to the newcomer it seems almost paralyzing.
When the newcomer gets rejected he will obsess over it, Analyze it, and overthink it to a point it is detrimental to his confidence (if he has any).
How do you get over it? I'll share how I did.
I created a frame that is semi delusional.
My main focus going into the game was this. "I am going to focus on 2 Main things: focus the positive and learn from the negative.
That was it. I would watch RSD videos by day. Use my knowledge by night. And learn from it all. If I had an issue. I would look into it and see how I could improve. If I got a good response I'd keep what worked and push it a bit further next time. If I didn't. I'd look at why it might not have and tweaked it.
I did this till I got numbers. Then hangouts. Then make outs. Then laid. But all along I celebrated small successes,But not only that I celebrated rejection. I knew it sucked. I knew it was going to suck. So I wanted to get it over with. Instead of dipping my toes into the cold water. I dove in. And each time it became less and less bothersome. theres no easy way to this shit. It sucks. You have just fucking do it. Approach, approach. Rejection won't kill you. The sooner you realize it the faster you will progress
In the beginning I had canned openers. But as I got better I'd go in almost in a meditative state. Blank mind and say the first thing that came To mine. I'd get rejected all night but I wouldn't care. It got To a point I'd almost forget when it would happen. My buddy would bring up how I got rejected and I almost had forgot about it. But how?
1. Start by building momentum in your day/night/life by talking to everyone
Going to the bar helped me with this. I would literally sling shoot from girl to girl and also to guys. Till I had become friends with half of the bar. I could go into a place knowing no one. And leave knowing everyone.
This helps in so many ways, especially in that environment. You look like someone important when you walk around and everyone is saying what's up because they know you.
I made the bar my play ground and I was the ruler.
I'd start by saying hi to someone. Then the next person I'd say hi and ask them how their night was going? I'd push it further with each interaction to build a momentum. Once I got in my zone. I was unstoppable. If I'd get rejected. I'd laugh. Shrug it off. Tell her to call me and move to the next. This allowed me to talk to more girls. I practiced Dancing and would go and dance all night with women.
Talk to More girls = more chances of getting laid
As oppose to
Focus on negative and rejection = masterbation.
Once you get this momentum going. And you get comfortable with talking to everyone. And rejection starts to hurt less and you focus on all the positive, and briefly learn from the negative you can...
(Note this step was the hardest and took the most time. Be patient but work hard. There's no easy way. You will get rejected. Accept it! You'll live I promise)
2. Create abundance
By this point I'd had tons of reference experience. I had numbers (at the time that was huge for me). I had lays. I had RP and RSD advice. And I was grinding all the time. I would make out with women without even talking to them. Just stick my hand out on the dance floor. Smile. They'd grab it. I'd dance for a while. Spin them and make out. This started to give me an abundance mentality. I do X and it works. I do Y and it doesn't. Keep doing X and add Z in.
The abundance shifted my attitude, boosted my confidence and had a positive feedback loop when it came to women. This is where my mind set shifted. I went from "what can I do to get this girl to..."
3. All women want me = delusional frame
Assumed attraction. I started to realize I understood what women wanted and knew how to get their attention.
This is where I built my frame/abundance mentality.
I would walk into a room bar. And my mind would go to. "All these women are staring at me. All these women want me, they are taking about how hot I am". smirk
Now they would start to whisper and stare at me. Now they could have been saying what a douchebag. But I became delusional that I didn't give a fuck. I not only thought they wanted me. I knew it. And over time it proved true. And even if I got rejected. I was so used to focusing only on the positive that it didn't even register.
Arrogant? Yes. Does it work? Fuck yea it works.
You start to walk different. Talk different. Act different. This frame allows shit test to literally roll right off your back. When you look a women in her eyes. You already think she wants to fuck you. So you imagine what you would to her when you got the chance. It would cause my look to be sexual even.
It got to a point a woman could literally say to my face " I fucking hate you" and want to slap me and I would smile thinking, yes because you want to fuck me and you can't. smirk
To get a visual of what my frame looked like is how Barney Stinson from The show How I Met Your Mother acts.
A woman can reject him and he will flip it like she's coming onto him.
Overtime having a frame like this really is a game changer. It may feel weird to think like this. But once you try it and start see results you will change your mind.
Disclaimer: now obviously I know this isn't true, not all women want me. That's why I say semi delusional. But I don't care it's my frame and it gets me results.
You want to build your frame around that concept, that your confidence is so delusional that it's almost arrogant.
Live on brothers.
TL:DR building a semi delusional frame that all women want you no matter how they respond to you.