Hello TRP. I'll try my best not to ramble because i'm a fucking mess right now, but i had to post this so that other newbies might learn from my situation.
Found this sub two years ago, i was already with the girl in question. I had just lost my father and my job, and was at my lowest at the time. It's pathetic but she was the only thing encouraging me to get better, her "love" was the drug i was abusing to feel better about everything in my life.
Learning all the material in the manosphere helped me understand why i was doing so great with her. I was the captain and she did everything for me. She gave me her devotion, but not her loyalty. I thought these two were the same, my fucking mistake.
Sex was amazing from day one until the very end. She was present and useful. So what the fuck happened?
She worked hard to appear being an unicorn and i knew that was dangerous for me. I was the stoic dude that didn't obsess about her whereabouts, didn't stalk her social media, i really learned my lesson after years of trying to control GFs and failing miserably.
This year's beginning was a real challenge, i've lost my apartment because i couldn't afford to pay what my late father owed the construction company. No family left and still broke, i had to move to a shitty 1 bedroom place that i chose so i could stay closer to her. I caught her lying about small things. Menial shit that i wouldn't even care if she told me. But when the illusion started to crack. I could see here and there that the truth about my little princess was beginning to creep on me.
Yesterday she flaked because she was "broke" and couldn't get the uber. I felt an unexplainable URGE to dig deeper. I can't explain this to you guys except: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TRUST YOUR GUT MORE, what happened was that i called and she hesitated to answer. I freaked out for the first time in 4 years and completely lost frame. I started texting like crazy and non-stop calling.
Two hours later a random dude messages me on FB. He was her fucking lover and he didn't know she was still with me. She told him she had broke up with me around february and he started dating her until this day. UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE.
The same month i was losing my home of more than 20 years, she was lining another dude. She kept giving me great sex, love and help while cheating like that. Would you call that cognitive dissonance or what?
I confronted her, she confirmed everything. Was crying like a fucking 5 year old who got caught. Asking me for forgiveness and saying she was a terrible human being who will suffer the consequences later. I didn't take her back.
I don't want this just to be a rant, so here:
Being alfa only changes the PERCEIVED respect she has for you. Sure it's great to have her give you lots of sex, company and even monetary help, but if she is a cheater you will never know until it's too late. She will treat you like her king while still getting side dick.
If you find her lying to you about anything, and she keeps lying after addressing it, ghost IMMEDIATELY. A bitch who lies about small things WILL lie about the worst. Never forget this.
I only found about everything because i lost frame and blowed her phone, in being a complete hurt beta, i ended finding the truth. The dude was with her at the time and instantly knew something was up. If you don't want to get to this point, learn to call it quits as soon as she shows herself dishonest.
Don't end like me. Nothing in this world is unconditional. Don't believe the love of your life is an angel if the actions don't add up with her excuses. Pay attention to what she does, not what she says.
Right now i'm feeling like a trainwreck, but for the first time in my life i have gained the self-awareness to understand how to make meaningful change to my relations and myself. And the reason is this sub. Thank you all so fucking much.