First post. Be gentle.
1 week ago at a party I threw, a girl mentioned as she poured her drink at the home-bar:
"My friend thinks you are hot!"
I am not hot. I'd say I'm like a 7 on looks alone but with style, charisma and frame I push that to an 8.
The girl's friend in question was a solid 6.5 herself. Short, cute face and tight-but-not-skinny body. Looks to be fast approaching the wall. I later found out she was 28.
I'd had been bantering with her before and noticed a lot of eye contact. I had made sure to not spend too much time with just her; there was a party to run and other girls to game. She definitely noticed when I'd leave her to go talk to another girl or guest. Want to know what a girl is thinking; learn to read her eyes.
Anyways, after her friend mentioned this (BTW this was completely out of nowhere, I wasn't even speaking to her at the time) I just played it cool, said something like "oh yeah?" and just smiled at her. The friend said "yeah", finished pouring her drink and went outside to the girl-interested.
Sometimes saying less is more. Sometimes, saying less means you don't fuck up something that's working for you.
20 mins later I run into the girl-interested, she's pouring herself a drink now and giving me all sorts of eye contact. I'm standing next to her. We talk a little. She says she knows how to make gin drinks. I ask her to make me one. She does. We cheers and take a sip. Next thing I say:
"I'm in a good mood today."
"Doesn't matter, I'm gonna try something"
I go in for a kiss. It works and we make out.
(In my mind I had no idea that was gonna work. I've been on a bender just trying things instead of overthinking them because failing is more rewarding than never trying. You get a form of mental closure).
Fast forward to 3 days ago. We had exchanged numbers and planned a hang out for Sunday but it was Saturday and somehow I had managed to plan another date for Sunday with a way hotter girl I knew was DTF (we used to fuck before) so I just randomly texted this girl and asked she wanted to grab drinks on Saturday night instead. She said yes.
I meet up with her at a bar close to my place.
We grab drinks and talk about random things. Some 10 minutes in I'm feeling confident as shit because I've already kissed this girl a week earlier. We take tequila shots. I go in for a kiss. REJECTED.
I play it cool and chuckle. She says:
"I haven't dated in a while"
"Sorry, I thought I saw a green light there."
Short, simple and to the point.
She's awkward as shit after this but I pretend that it's all normal and go back to the conversation we were having. The look on her face is priceless. It's like she cannot fathom why I'm making such a non-deal about her rejection. She brings it up again in the middle of conversation:
"I need to ask, are you like just looking for a hookup?"
"I'm just in a bar having a drink with a girl I think is cute."
She laughs and can't believe how nonchalant I'm being. She says:
"I'm not coming over tonight."
I just laugh and continue what we were talking about before. This send her the right vibe and she loosens up.
Own your frame. If she tries to rattle it, just ignore and continue as you wish. This requires an actual frame and not a pretend-one. Easier said than done IMO
10 mins later she grabs me and kisses me.
Next thing you know we're making out at the bar like college kids. (To my horror since it's a bar I frequent and the staff knows me. I'll see how this works out, haven't been back yet.)
45 minutes later we're at my place under the pretense of me showing her how to play guitar. I make her a drink and we go out to the patio to smoke some weed. She say:
"We're not having sex tonight"
"We're not doing anything you're not comfortable doing tonight."
15 minutes later we're fucking like dogs.
We order pizza, watch some standup and fuck 4 more times before passing out. Girl had moves too; this was not her first rodeo.
Wake up, fuck again, she says she had fun and leaves.
Haven't heard from her since. Probably will.
- Sometimes saying less is more.
- Always make your intentions be known. I did (via over-confidence) by trying to kiss her 10 minutes into the date. It did not work but it showed her exactly what I wanted. This helped me later.
- Frame is everything. Take rejection like a boss. Always be unfazed by circumstances. Own the moment like you were born for it and she will notice. This means being comfortable with your situation, even if it's not the one you wanted.
- When a girl says something like "I'm not having sex with you" out of nowhere, it's because she's attracted to you trying to convince herself not to.
- Make her feel comfortable without killing the sexual energy. It'll work in your favor.