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Red Pill TheoryThe journey so far (And how I could have got where I am faster) (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by OneLifeSucks

"You know I ain't scared to lose you" - Future
 
Intro
 
At 24 years old I realize that I've got a long way to go when it comes to this stuff, it's definitely a process. I have learned alot however that I think many will benefit from.
 
"Don't settle for less or infidelity" - Bryson Tiller
 
The Beta
 
Where did he come from? I sure wasn't born that way. My story isn't too different from alot of the guys on here. Basically I was raised by a single white mom (black dad go figure) in a society that already pussifies men with an upbringing that wasn't too good on self-esteem/value and no strong male role models. If this sounds like you, yeah I get it.
 
Despite being naturally attractive and friendly, I was crippled by low self-esteem, absolute outcome dependence and a horrible need for external validation; particularly by women. This persisted all through childhood, I lived in the friendzone. My first kiss was a 3 (with a shitty personality), my first girlfriend was a slutty 5 (still couldn't hit), I lost my v-card to like a 4 at 15 (after dating her a month, also horrible personality). If you don't see the connection here let me tell you a quick story that might shed more light.
 
Freshman year I had a friend that was dating a pretty attractive girl who had a cute friend I wouldn't have minded losing it too. One time I ended up walking with the two girls around our neighborhood, I guess it was apparent that I was soft and they hit me with something crazy. One of the two made a joke or something towards me and the girl I wanted to smash chuckled "nigg*r" under her breath but not really. Now obviously the right choice at that time was to never associate with those girls ever again and tell my friend his chick and her bff were bitches. Literally could have just walked away. What did I do? I KEPT WALKING WITH THEM. Even worse, it was a couple feet behind like some sad puppy. I think by then they were just giggling and say the n-word every now and then just because they knew they could.
 
I'm not butt-hurt over it; I honestly think it's funny to think back on how much of a chump I was. I think every guy on this path reaches a point where he can hardly believe he was actually the guy that did the things he did. Anyways, I told that story as an example of what the issue was. NO SELF VALUE. That's really it.
 
"Instead of worrying bout who that bitch fucking, why don't you get you some money" - Wiz Khalifa
 
The Alpha but not really
 
That happened about 10 years ago. I've come a long way since then but most of my progress really came after joining TRP almost two years ago, swear to god. On a quick side note, I drank cow's milk all the damn time in middle school and there have been recent studies on cow milk consumption and estrogen in the system. Not saying that's why I was a bitch, but I did have some slight man-boob going on and wanted nothing to do with sports until halfway into highschool (way after puberty starts). From senior year of high school on, I was a more average representation of typical "alpha male" (quotes cuz it's fake). I played varsity football, joined the Marines, lifted a ton. I even went on to play collegiate lacrosse for a year or so. I had great guy friends and attractive female friends as well.
 
How much pussy was I getting though? I had fucked maybe 6 girls by age 21. The hottest was a 7 and we even got engaged. As you can imagine, I was still envious of the "assholes" that pulled more and I was as outcome dependent as always, I just had upped my SMV.
 
"Chasin' women a distraction" - Drake
 
Today
 
Today I do alright, my counts at 18, selectively. I've hit girls that other men wouldn't have the nuts to talk to. And I did it with no dinner dates. I see a girl I'm attracted too, I say hi and talk to her like a man talking to a woman. I'm at the point where I tell girls "no". A week ago, a 6 that knows me through a chick friend came up to me at a tailgate and said verbatim "OneLifeSucks, you are going out tonight after the game, getting food with me and then coming back to my place". I said I don't think that's happening. I have plenty of similar stories by this point. Now don't get me wrong, I still make mistakes. I've shanked it more than a few times. The difference is that now none of that matters. Women use to be the objective, now they're a fun past time until the right girl comes along.

 
"You want me to take my time with you, well maybe I'm not your speed. Maybe I'm out your league" - Kodak Black
 
Where did the frame come from?
 
I sure wasn't born with that either. As you can imagine, joining trp didn't make me better with girls. What it did do was make me realize I wasn't the only one confused, and provided me with the knowledge I needed. The most important thing I learned was that the problem was me, it was internal. There wasn't some weird phenomenon going on. I had real problems that manifested themselves in not only my interactions with women, but other areas of my life as well.
 
I accepted that I had things to work through, made steps to change them and started taking pride in the positive changes I was making. I also started taking pride in how far I'd come in my personal life. I mean fuck, I bring alot to the table. I'm sure you guys do as well. Don't let hot girls get away with just being hot. Work on yourself and always put them in the position where they need to demonstrate substance to YOU, not the other way around. I also stopped caring about what they thought. If you are holding yourself personally accountable for your actions and living to your values, why the hell would you care what other's opinions of you are. Why place so much significance on an interaction with a 20 something year old girl, start taking risks with women. The two things that I say changed my frame the most was taking pride in who I am and outcome independence. You can have a count of 0 and talk to a hot chick with no problems with just those two things. Value yourself and stop taking people serious, that's where frame comes from. No girl is going to shit test you if she senses you're more willing to walk away then she is.
 
"We too fly, bad bitches in the archive" - 2 Chainz
 
Getting a headstart
 
Everyone is in a different stage of the journey but here are some things that would have sped it up for me.
 
- Read Models by Mark Manson
- Do things that give you a sense of pride (learn a trade/certification, save up for a car, volunteer, give a surprise gift to someone close to you). Ultimately, a man of worth carries himself differently
- Severely limit porn/masturbation
- Start friend-zoning girls and treat them as friends, not potential fucks. Girls that you view as simply friends are easier to talk to. You can work on things like eye contact and just having fun conversations with girls in general. This pays huge dividends in the long run since you'll be put on to more girls by those friends. - Of course work on yourself and keep your SMV where it should be (Not for them but for you)
 
Conclusion
 
If I can come this far so can you. Like honestly, I was pretty bad. Keep working on it though and you'll be at least where I'm at in no time, which honestly isn't too bad https://imgur.com/JFWY1E7


[–]brideboy 88 points89 points  (5 children)

I like the quotes in sprinkled in. This is a very good write up.

I feel like you could add a little more of your voice into the writing style.

[–]OneLifeSucks[S] 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Thanks I threw some choice rap lyrics in for flavor. What do you mean exactly by more of my voice?

[–]theredpillager 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Professional writer chiming in. It was evident to me how the lyrics tied in to what you wrote. Your voice is how you write or speak, your style. Someone telling you to use more of your own voice in an original piece written by you where you quoted 4-5 single sentence rap lyrics isn't very useful or constructive criticism. Someone telling you to continue finding, defining and refining your voice would be. It was a good post, and like the EC below said, it can get better. I imagine it will.

Someone else commented on the gutsy move of posting your pic. Normally I would agree this is a risky move, but your post contained none of the anger many posts here do. More senior members will often comment about how the anger phase folk give trp a bad rep, and their comments will often serve to talk some sense into these angry young men. Your post, in contrast, talked up all the proper benefits of trp, and in the right frame of mind. You've come a long way in two years, ahead of many of your peers who follow trp, I'd gather. So for you, I'd say the risk is less severe.

[–]1564001 11 points12 points  (0 children)

MA in English, former newspaper editor, lifelong reader here. Don't change a thing about your writing. Less is more. Hemingway used few words, but they were the right words.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 19 points20 points  (1 child)

You include rap lyrics in your write up but don't go into detail about how those lyrics pertain to you. There are dozens of posts here rehashing RP concepts or repeating influential quotes - the mods can attest to the amount of bullshit they have to clean up. What separates good content from the mediocre is thoughtful analysis.

As an EC and a hhh, it's easy for me to repeat lyrics from my favourite rappers and call it a lesson. But that's not enough. People - men especially - respond to the reality of experience and the lessons learnt through it.

Your post is good. You can make future posts better.

[–]lazarusnologos -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Reader here - I got bored after the first sentence. No TL;DR... and I dislike reading 'blog posts' on here.

Your writing may be fine, I don't know.

[–]secretly7 148 points149 points  (2 children)

"I don't need your pussy BITCH I'm on my own dick"

[–]OneLifeSucks[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

True I used to not give a fuck about myself so it's an improvement

[–]1Ramesses_ 117 points118 points  (1 child)

Kudos man. I really respect you have the balls to put your pic out there for public consumption. You're doing great, very impressed.

[–]OneLifeSucks[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean I'm never running for office haha and thanks dude I definitely don't have it all figured out yet but I have plenty of time to keep working on things. I just wanted guys to see it's possible. None of this stuff is simply theory.

[–]grewapair 38 points39 points  (2 children)

I too was raised by a single mother, and when I look back on it, she just obviously liked my other two siblings, but just sort of barely tolerated me. She finally tossed me out at age 13.

But I needed to eat and I needed clothes when I was with her and so I got really good at sucking up to a woman (my mom) who didn't really like me. I was the expert at providing all sorts of value and getting very little in return. Any crumb of validation she sent my way meant I had another 30 days of secure food and clothing, so I was thrilled when I got it.

So I was already the beta provider expert when I started dating, and I expected nearly nothing. Which is exactly what I got. So don't beat yourself up over your past mistakes, there was a reason you started out like you did. Good for you for finally figuring it out and trying to change.

[–]absolucion 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That was a tough read. I don't understand how someone can be so shitty to a person they brought into the world. You didn't ask for that. At least you made something of it. Good for you, man.

[–]OneLifeSucks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's crazy man but that's some good introspection on your part. You can't make changes if you don't know yourself.

[–]UKRealist 59 points60 points  (1 child)

Good post. Looks like you're living life and having fun. Keep going and may the force be with you.

[–]kmfrtblynumb -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm really impressed that you figured this all out on your own!! You are obviously a person that learns from their mistakes & the mistakes of others. Never, EVER, lower your standards, be afraid to walk away, or stop loving yourself! ❤️

[–]TheVagWhisperer 37 points38 points  (4 children)

I strongly, strongly hope you continue this journey you are on to explore better places than this subreddit. You've already got most of what matters figured out. The other stuff definitely won't be found here.

This place has degraded to near incel level where treating women as human beings means you are a cuck beta snowflake. You've already taken the important stuff out based on what I just read. Best of luck

[–]OneLifeSucks[S] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I agree that there is alot of anger in some of the content here. I treat all people as people. When it comes to romantic interactions with girls I just don't take them serious until they demonstrate some worth other then their looks. I mean I had a tough anger phase myself so I get it.

[–]TheVagWhisperer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

totally. men don't have the luxury of being taken seriously based upon looks and we sure as hell should expect a well rounded person. It's like a moving, living thing. The respect we have for ourselves should be a demand in those we allow to enter our orbits.

That's far and away the most important thing anyone could learn from anything red pill related - no man should ever allow themselves to be disrespected by a partner. Real men demand and earn respect and GIVE IT to those who who are worthy and earn it. You can hold frame, value yourself and reject shit tests and nonsensical stuff that low character females do all while enjoying what life and your partner has to bring to you.

[–]Mr-Ed209 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's an important point and one I feel most guys miss and get burnt on. They fall for the first pretty girl and ascribe these high values to her before they even know her. Before she's proved she has anything to offer other than sex. It's not entirely men's fault, we've been conditioned to believe that and go out of our way to pander to women's needs.

When you start a relationship from a place of non investment you can adequately vet those traits impartially and bail out if you don't like what you see.

[–]Work_In_Progress92 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good job and good progress made. And yes, there will always be shanks and fumbles on the path, and it seems you taken the right response to those by just getting back up and continuing moving forward.

Models by Mark Manson is on my to read list once I get my next check.

Keep up the good work and never get comfortable.

[–]keysomea 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Loved the post OP! Nice quotes too. Perfect example of how you and everyone in TRP can evolve.

[–]northerncalifdude 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey, keep up the good work! I'd like to add my 2 cents: with the right set of rules such as the ones we get from TRP, the more happiness you share with people, the more you get back.

[–]mydogfartzwithz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel this was what I needed tonight. Theres so much bs info by complete fuckups in this sub. Youre a cool guy who put in the work.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

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[–]OneLifeSucks[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Well I think any man should want what maximizes happiness, what do you mean with regards to game though? Like what I want to work on with it or the end game?

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]mravek 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Sex should be just a reward for living a happy, healthy and successful life.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]mravek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yes, absolutely! But sex isn't really the most important thing in the world. It should be our secondary objective.

      [–][deleted]  (7 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]leviathan51 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Liver destroys any hormones found in food. That's why they're not chugging Test in their drinks, but they have to shoot it up. You're fine.

      [–]adam_varg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Not necessarily. It promotes inflammation for lot of people which sucks for lot of body systems, optimal hormone levels included.

      [–]Mr_Talent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Would be great if some facts were thrown in. I drink a ton of milk and if indeed that estrogen shit is true, I need to stop yesterday...

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Cow's milk turns small calfs into huge bulls. If you work out a lot, drinking milk is a great way to get calories and protein. Some people use milk only for their bulking, its a cheap and easy way if you cant be bothered with supplements. If your parents were on some hippie shit and didn't get you milk as a kid, understandably there may be problems of digestion. But milk is as close to a divine elixir as you get.

      [–]OneLifeSucks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      And Gorillas eat plants all day, never workout, and are massive. Same thing with elephants, hippos, rhinos etc. People use that cow milk argument all the time, no real connection though.

      [–]destraht 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I drank cow milk as a kid but I like goat milk a lot more when I can get it. Its much more smooth and agreeable with my stomach.

      [–]OneLifeSucks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I mean I'm by no means an expert on this stuff. I just noticed a few things when I drank it alot. I still like it in my cereal and stuff

      [–]azhiker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Looking great, brother. Thanks for posting.

      [–]RPmatrix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Good post mate, it will help many others

      glad to hear you've tied it all together

      p.s. gotta love toga parties! Those Romans sure knew how to partaay!

      [–]take1fortheteam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Great read man!!! You've got some balls uploading a pic haha, props.

      [–]Sensei_Hensei 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Once I seen the picture I knew Trp would be triggered. Quality post OP.

      [–]enuab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Vince Staples “Call my phone says she’s horny only I could make time or I could make money.”

      [–]bluepaperplane 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Hey man, good job. Inspiring post for some of us newbies out here. I love the quotes. I was trying to make a TRP playlist a while ago but I didn't have a lot of time to find good songs. Do you have a playlist that you could share with me? That would be awesome.

      [–]OneLifeSucks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I appreciate man. I have a pretty decent spotify playlist I could share but honestly most hip-hop is good. For me personally if he ain't talkin about getting money, taking care of his people and fucking I don't listen to him. I'm not going to go so far as to say rap is red pill in nature but the lyrics tend to reinforce some of what we talk about

      [–]spearthrower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "I lost a whole lot of money chasin bitches, but I never lost no bitches chasin money" - Royce

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

      [–]1empatheticapathetic 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      Personally I hate the way this was written. Way too fucking pretentious and didn't really go anywhere. More interested in making it look good with bullshit quotes sprinkled in like a 90s coming of age movie.

      Your resulting advice: read models, do Nofap and have a mission.

      I'm happy for you but drop the snowflake mentality.

      [–]OneLifeSucks[S] 25 points26 points  (2 children)

      I appreciate the feedback. I personally think I gave a good example of how blue pill a man can be and still bounce back by applying rp principles and bettering himself. I don't see anything wrong with that message.

      [–]1empatheticapathetic -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

      It wasn't the message but the delivery. You gloss over what made you worth shit and instead indulge in your past.

      [–]Psycholephant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Reading about his past made him more relatable in my eyes.

      [–]supnat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "The journey so far (And how I could have got where I am faster)" - ILoveMakonnen

      [–]Austonmatthews345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I liked everything except the part where you started talking about pride.

      "Swallow your pride because silence is golden".

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Best motivational speak 2017.

      [–]ReinhardVonLoengram 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What city ya in for those racist whores to straight up call you a ngr?

      [–]Eclectiqque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      loved the rap/hip-hop quotes. even sang along

      my question to you is this: we both workin on money, fame and on our missions so that women will come to us but should I switch into a monk mode type of phase? like just work on myself all the time (business, gym, self-education) and ignore the sexual needs? what i mean is ok, i'm not needy but should I just endure a dry-spell for the future moment when they'll be throwing themselves at me?

      or for instance when you say you friendzone girls. you mean all of them? or just the ones you keep talking to? besides that, you go to some girls you like and see if they're in for a coffee/drink/whatever and if not just ignore them?

      [–]Mr_Talent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I drank cow's milk all the damn time in middle school and there have been recent studies on cow milk consumption and estrogen in the system.

      Where the fuck did you read this? I drink 1L of milk every single day... If this is true I very much need to stop. Also, what did you replaced it with?

      [–]BradTheGymRat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Respect, i really value what you wrote.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This read was DOPE. It resonated with me on many levels. Thank you.

      [–]another-white-male -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

      leave that white woman alone

      [–]mistood -1 points0 points  (7 children)

      How tall are You? I feel like my short height turns women off and lowers my self esteem

      [–]OneLifeSucks[S] 8 points9 points  (6 children)

      5'9" you gotta get over the height thing for sure. I used to want leg lengthening surgery it got to me so bad. You can't control it and honestly it doesn't matter that much. I know plenty of short guys that pull.

      [–]mistood 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      Did working out make you look taller? I'm skinny af especially my arms but I heard muscles on a short guy makes him look even shorter

      [–]Sero-Flex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It’s not about looking taller it’s about being healthier and being able to protect women if the need were to arise. I guarantee more women would feel safer with a swole dude who’s 5’9” than a skinny dude who’s 6’2”.

      [–]OneLifeSucks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      A lean muscular build makes you look taller but still lift just do higher reps with less weight. Body weight workouts are good too.

      [–]matthewzz1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It's about proportion more than anything. Too tall (and skinny) makes you look sickly which is even worse than short and muscular.

      [–]K1KK0_1t4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Short and skinny is bad short and muscular is better.

      (And lifting could improve your posture.. You will feel and seem a bit less short if you correct your posture) People that knows you will notice.

      Trust a still short man.

      [–]UltraCuyan -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      ITT: insecure betas giving each other tips on how to get girls they pretend not to care about.

      [–]ratel1488 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Don't follow in your father's footstep...