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Red Pill TheoryGod Can't Bleed (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by BallsMahonie

Swallowing the pill is never something you do just once. There's many different pills of many different flavors. They might all be red, but they all contain different information.

Some are easier to swallow than others, however. Some take a few tries.​ But every once in a while, there comes a pill you need only swallow just one time. For those who have experienced a woman's love and affection wither away at the sight of your suffering, that pill hurt all the way down. But you only had to take it once.

​Men are Powerful

As many of us know, women don't love men the way men love women. It's not a bad thing. They have a biological imperative pushing them towards that ultimate goal. There's nothing wrong with that, but you need to be aware of it. Referring quickly to the set of rules many should already have internalized;

Iron Rule of Tomassi #6 "Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved.​"

Ideally, we'd like to believe that the women we let get close to us would be as invested in our emotional well-being as we were with theirs. And to a very certain degree, they are. But there is one major difference. Where as our desire to care for a woman emotionally usually comes out of an innate desire to protect, secure and comfort, their desire to see us emotionally strong stems from the ultimate goal of making sure we remain capable enough to keep providing the protection, support and comfort that they seek. A man's support is quite often altruistic, where as a woman's desire to support is inherently selfish. This is usually the spot where most readers new to TRP are lost, and refuse to accept that fact that when a woman says she loves you, what she's really saying is "at this current point in time, I love you because you're checking off my emotional and physical wishlist, but the second that stops, I won't feel the same way".

Returning to my original point, the hardest pill for a man to swallow was the one he took when he opened up to his LTR, either as a sign of vulnerability or in an attempt to garner emotional comfort or support during a time of desperation, and had his efforts and feelings subliminally spat back into his face. I'll try to paint a picture as best as I can;

"You live behind a big wall. This wall keeps you safe. It's tall, made of stone and well built. It keeps out the invaders and all beings that would seek to do you harm, either physically or mentally. Behind this wall, you feel safe. You know it can't be breached. Until one day, someone shows you one small, insignificant area of that massive stone aegis that is deteriorating. He then explains that should anything trying to get through the wall find out about this weakness, despite its small size and apparent insignificance, they would be able to break it down. And just like that, your illusion of safety is shattered. The wall looks strong, but you know it has a weakness. Could the wall stand forever without anyone gaining the knowledge of how to get through it? Maybe. But are you willing to gamble your life on it? Mostly likely, you aren't. Since you don't possess the knowledge to fix it (honestly, you can't even comprehend the kind of stress and pressure this wall must have to manage in the first place), you have two options. Live in constant fear and concern that one day, your once proud protector will crumble and fall, or find a new, stronger wall in a new place that doesn't have the same weaknesses your old wall had. Since safety and comfort is your number one concern, the choice is obvious".

Men are naturally powerful. They are the guardians of women and have been for thousands and thousands of years. In that time, women have learned to gravitate towards the beacons of strength that are the Alpha male. Yes, he provides the best opportunity for breeding, but she'll spend the entirety of her time with him trying to convince the Alpha to commit, thereby securing what she believes to be a new, impenetrable "wall". One which she can feel safe existing behind.

God Doesn't Bleed

You're an Alpha. You lift, your frame is solid and your game is good. You find a decent girl who's worth a damn and she becomes your LTR. Everything is going great. She fucks you like a pornstar, she cooks and cleans and takes care of you because you're scratching all her biological itches.​ You stand tall and proud. Nothing gets you down, because there isn't a problem on this blue Earth that you can't handle. In her eyes, you're a stone wall. A deep-rooted Oak. An untouchable God.

Then, one day at work, you get injured. You've damaged the tendons in your feet badly, and walking has become excruciatingly painful, if even possible at times. The healing process will be long, and the chances for re-injury are very high. Eventually, your mood begins to sway. You can't do a lot of the things you used to love doing and you start feeling depressed. You can't back-squat anymore. Sometimes you can't even make it to the gym. Emotionally, you're a wreck. You don't feel like a man anymore, and all you want is someone to understand and to make you feel comfortable, even if just for a minute. So you turn to your LTR. Surely, after all you've done for her, she'll happily pick you up when you've fallen down. You open up to her, maybe you cried in frustration, or maybe you simply said "this is too much for me to handle right now".

And just like that, with one simple display of weakness, you've shattered her illusion of safety around you. Apparently, you CAN be breached. There's a part of you that has deteriorated. It won't happen right away, but the process has already begun. She is losing interest in you, because there's now no 100% guarantee that this newfound "weakness" you have won't one day cause the entire wall to collapse. As I'm sure you figured out, since this example of an injury is oddly specific, that was what happened to me. My "Soulmate™​" lost all interest in me during my greatest time of need. She didn't dump me. I dumped her after I'd reached my breaking point. But it was simply a matter of time. I only beat her to the punch. Was I angry at the time? Of course. I thought the love and support I provided for her would be reciprocated, since I never asked for it other than just this one time. I was her God, and she watched me ask for help as I laid on the floor, bleeding in front of her. So she ceased to believe in me. I don't blame her. Not anymore. A big part of TRP is about accepting women for what they are, without hating them for it. I don't hate her for losing interest in me anymore than I'd hate a lion who attacked me for walking into its den. Both creatures were just doing what came to them naturally. Her biological imperative was to find a man who could protect her against the world and keep her safe from harm. How could I do that if I couldn't even protect myself from it? There's a difference between a woman seeing you injured and a woman seeing you broken, though. If you're stressed, but she knows you'll get through it, that's confirmation that although you both acknowledge the difficulty of the situation, it's a weight you can manage. If you have a mental breakdown and go off the deep end though, now you're broken. Even the strongest oak tree might bend and flex in the wind, but seeing the storm actually topple it over proves it wasn't as deep-rooted as initially perceived.

Don't show her true vulnerability. Never let her see you broken. Bend and sway in the wind all you want. Ideally, the less, the better. But don't crumble. Don't fall over. Don't bleed. Be strong, resilient and adaptable. Safety is an illusion, and if you shatter that illusion, you lose all credibility in her eyes.

That right there was the hardest fucking pill I ever had to swallow.


[–]atomic_manatee 160 points161 points  (30 children)

Thanks for this, eerily similar to my BP->RP experience. Broke down and cried in front of her once, then got the cold shoulder until finally getting the boot. Shortly after she was fucking guys while I was contemplating jumping on the train tracks.

I can guarantee that the whole movement to "Make it OK" to talk about mental health is being used by women to screen for weak betas. Hire a professional or talk to guy friends. In front of women, stoicism always wins.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 76 points77 points  (3 children)

110% correct.

Never forget the lesson. Good choice to either talk to a professional or guys. Honestly, it's more beneficial to share with a wall than it is a woman.

[–]plainposter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yup, talking to myself has been more resourceful than any women. they just babble like babies.. incoherent animals.. the only use they have is if they behave correctly

[–]wsba910am 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a very interesting story by Rudyard Kipling called "The Men Who Would BE King", featuring two British male ex-military ne'er-do-wells who venture into Kafiristan, where they are the first white settlers ever seen by the natives. The whites announce themselves as gods, and the tribespeople all worship them and give them their women. IIRC, One of the women, the chief's daughter, is very unhappy with her fate. In a fit of anger she slaps and cuts the cheek of one of the two white men as he advances on her, leaving a gash from which trickles a droplet of blood. Terrified, she flies away from him, and he follows her - not knowing he's bleeding - out into the open, where the rest of the natives congregate and see his bleeding cheek. They promptly kill him, and the other man barely escapes with his life.

We all were raised on television and movies to think that women are natural counselors and compassionate helpers. I think it also stems from expecting other women to be like our mothers were to us - the first women we ever knew. We think that other women will welcome us into their breasts when we're confused, sad, lonely, and hurt; where they will reassure us of our worth, and encourage us to follow our hearts. If we have good mothers, then we were blessed.

A final note to RP-ers here, bear in mind that who you are at your core will bring to you someone who is like you. If you're lying that you're a god, deluded with your grandeur, lost in pride ... odds are you're going to find someone else who is a liar, too. Someone who will put up with your obvious BS and either worship you out of naivete or because she's a psychopath and knows how to push your buttons to make you ejaculate.

My best choice has been to start going to God instead of to women. God doesn't cheat on you.

[–]mishasam89 5 points6 points  (22 children)

stoicism always wins

Then why do they like when you're aggressive?

isn't aggression also an emotion?

[–]SwolePoo 29 points30 points  (7 children)

Aggression is you taking what you want, it's a sign of strength. It's the drive to get what you want by any means necessary. Good combat sports athletes can be very aggressive yet remain unemotional. It's just a tool used to obtain your goals

[–]mishasam89 1 point2 points  (6 children)

but women also like when you fight with them. If they provoke you and you yell at them , they like that also. When they provoke you, being quiet and stoic might make you seem like a whimp, no?

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 21 points22 points  (4 children)

It depends. Anyone with the most basic social skills can tell the difference between someone who doesn't engage in confrontation because he's a coward and someone who doesn't engage because it's trivial and not worth his time.

[–]mishasam89 3 points4 points  (3 children)

i'm not so sure any more man. I've met girls who thought that if i did not punch them then i could never punch a dude who insulted me. lol

the girl in question was a 10, and a complete degenerate.

[–]Coptek91 1 points1 points [recovered]

This is something people don't like talking about here. Girls get wet when I act aggressively. I'm usually gairly stoic and used to have the attitude of "ah not worth the fight." This has always been seen by others as me being too weak to react.

The real black pill that people don't want to talk about is that this is why wife beaters and abusive husbands keep their women around for so long. Women would seriously rather have a husband that beat her than a beta.

Not advising to hit your girl though just to keep her attracted, no girl in the world is worth spending time on the floor of a cold jail cell.

[–]Aktiv8r 19 points20 points  (0 children)

That's only half of that black pill. The other half is about the power they receive from society and the state when that wife beater hits her. She is given power over the most powerful man she knows when he does that stuff. Which causes them to test even further and the cycle continues until she either uses that power or is beat to death.

[–]boredgod 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's been mentioned but the guys here are usually well-adjusted enough to society from their beta days to not warrant lengthy discussion on domestic violence.

Girls with abusive upbringings seem to need - and purposefully incite - violence from their men, or to gravitate towards men who will fulfill that paradigm.

[–]leviathan51 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They like it, yeah, but you're failing her shit tests. They also like it when guys compliment and validate them, but ultimately you're failing. At least that's what RP says.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Stoicism isn't about blocking your emotions, it's about controlling them. It's about maintaining happiness and frame no matter the circumstances because only your perception of the circumstance makes you unhappy, breaks your frame.

Being angry isn't un-Stoic so long as you don't let it out of control. If you can channel it toward a productive end or outlet that is the ideal.

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

// , It's rare that beating someone up is a productive end or outlet, but there are occasions that it's the stoic thing to do.

[–]red_matrix 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Controlled aggression, just don't lose your shit - because if you do then you're just acting like a woman.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I'm not convinced this is true. The most successful people in today's world possess incredible self control. If they display anger it is deliberate and with a good reason. Good reasons for this behavior are pretty rare.

[–]mishasam89 0 points1 point  (1 child)

successful financially or with women?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure there's a massive correlation between the two, haha.

[–]Psycholephant 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Agressiveness can be a positive emotion depending on the context. They like to see the go-getter mentality because it makes you a worthy provider. But if you use aggression as a defense it shows weakness.

[–]AnjaJutta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The keyword is context. If you know when and where to show aggression you are golden. Then again, you can only learn when to pull it off through experience and observation.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They want you stoic about their bullshit and emotional torture. They want you to lose your shit and beat up any threat.

[–]3ncryption 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aggression is being on the offense. It is the anti emotion

[–]Shaman6624 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think aggression is an instinct not an emotion.

[–]gELSK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

// , Aggression is not an emotion. It is a behavior.

If you're interested in the finer points of covert and overt aggression, read "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People Paperback" – April 1, 2010 by George K. Simon Ph.D.

https://www.amazon.com/Sheeps-Clothing-Understanding-Dealing-Manipulative/dp/1935166301

[–]gELSK -1 points0 points  (1 child)

// , Aggression is a behavior. Read, bitch.

[–]readordie13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are on to something with the Make it OK movement. Glad you overcame those destructive thoughts and are here today making your mark on this world.

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

// , Do not mistake stoicism for a lack of aggression. Aggression is not an emotion. It is a behavior.

If you're interested in the finer points of covert and overt aggression, read "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People Paperback" – April 1, 2010 by George K. Simon Ph.D.

https://www.amazon.com/Sheeps-Clothing-Understanding-Dealing-Manipulative/dp/1935166301

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mental health is a real fucking problem. I do not think making it okay to talk about mental health is a beta screening process lol. It works as one, but that's not why it was created. The reality is people are losing their fucking minds and they need to talk about it. I agree that it should be with men or therapists though. But you guys say some ridiculous shit. I honestly think I'm getting trolled right now.

[–]IwannaFocus 122 points123 points  (17 children)

100% Solid. This was actually the first pillow I ever swallowed, and it still hits home.

I've seen great men - that had beautiful unicorn-like wife's, during their most vulnerable moments. None of these "unicorns" were present during that pain. It's in their nature to jump ship during shaky times. I guess you can say that "there are no women on a sinking ship".

If you ever come across a "unicorn". Create an illusion of downfall - and watch. Stressful situations are the easiest way to reveal a woman's true color.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 95 points96 points  (4 children)

Agreed.

This is a pill that constantly gets stuck in a man's throat. Especially with every new "unicorn" he encounters.

I'll stress again that AWALT. But don't hate them for it. The anger one feels from being emotionally "abandoned" means that they still hold onto the idea that a woman's emotional investment in you is equal to your investment in her.

If someone jumps in the tiger exhibit at the zoo, nobody says "oh my God! I can't believe that tiger is attacking him!". Everyone says "Well OBVIOUSLY he's going to get attacked. That's the way tigers are". True internalizing comes when you can see the things a woman does and say "that's just the way they are. Better learn to work around it".

[–]JDeegs 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Part of what makes it such a hard pill to swallow is that from a young age we're told to just be ourselves and that it's ok to be sensitive. Movies and tv shows even go so far as to say that being sensitive and emotional is an attractive quality in a man, when really what they want is a man who can tend to their emotional needs

[–]furiouszeno 5 points6 points  (1 child)

That is TRP in a nutshell - society has been brainwashing men from birth to be exactly the opposite of that which will make them an attractive mate. Everything that I believed about women and relationships in my BP days was so opposite of reality that I could have simply started doing the exact opposite of all my instincts and instantly become Chad overnight.

Let Opposite George illustrate.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's important to note though that while you can never count on it, there are women smart enough to realize that the hole can be fixed. Two conditions have to be met for this to apply:

  1. Even at your weakest you are still pretty damn strong, relatively speaking. For most, this just means letting shit be shit and not sinking into a depression over an injury or something.

  2. You have to be very strong when at your strongest and thus worth fixing. If she knows you are a titanium wall when you're at your best while other guys barely make brick walls, she may help you.

It takes a woman capable of overcoming her basic instincts for better long-term goals but it can and does happen.

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

// , "It takes a woman capable of overcoming her basic instincts for better long-term goals but it can and does happen."

Seems like something you find out when SHTF.

[–]dzkkne 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I agree, have swallowed the same pill the hard way about a year ago.

However, through observing friends and family I have encountered a certain specimen/type of women (one or two) who seem to act against the hypergamy. This particular one was quite attractive (solid 7 or may be 8, blond, blue eyes, slim, with some assets) and from what I have observed she had 2 LTRs with guys who were pretty weak mentally. However, important to notice - she was not feminist, agro or "tough" in any way, she was quite girly in fact. They had some charisma, but for all their failings they had some kind of excuse or past trauma. That seemed to keep her around them for years. Her last LTR she is currently in - he managed to persuade her to abandon most of her friends and live with him and his mom and sister.

I suspect there is a certain psycho-type that is attracted to that sort of thing. I know she had some issues in her family in the past with dominant mom and weak dad.

I wouldn't want her in an LTR, because there are some deep issues. Neither I would call her a unicorn. But it is an interesting case.. She very good looking and could do much much better, but sticks around those "failed artist" kind of guys. Perhaps she just replicates what happened in her family.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sublimating her maternal drive into "fixer uppers." Female codependency.

You're only seeing one part of the equation. Not the 50 dudes in the background that she's got on the side to validate herself every time she has a crisis of confidence, which will be, basically all the time.

You're not seeing loyalty to the BB side of the equation, but her inability to navigate the SMV to optimise BB and AF. So suboptimal BB, optimised AF.

[–]deephurting666 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Must be hard swallowing a PILLOW!

[–]jumpinglane 9 points10 points  (2 children)

downvoted for telling the truth.

[–]deephurting666 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Expected..to be singed at the stake for being a truth teller

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's a reasonable way to break up with a woman but doing it to a unicorn might make her paper towel cone fall off.

[–]RedDespair 49 points50 points  (8 children)

For me that's the easiest pill to swallow. Even after the breakup I know that eventually when I find my self-worth, I'll find another one and "make it right".

For me the hardest pill to swallow is "she is not yours, it's just your turn".

The fundamental truth is whatever you do, at some point, you are going to lose her. You could be a "rock", a "wall" and a some shiny Chad just happens to come along and sways her.

The biggest lesson you get from RP is that a woman's attraction to a man is a fickle thing. Their love is fickle. They are fickle. TRP forces you to accept this and focus on yourself, putting yourself as number one at all times.

[–]mishasam89 18 points19 points  (5 children)

so those couples who stay together till death are rare anomalies or just lies?

Or is it due to the fact that they're from older generations?

[–]RedDespair 39 points40 points  (4 children)

These are not couples. There is no desire between them.

Most are living a passive life where the woman is complaining and the man tolerating. Usually both are unattractive or old and sort of tolerate each other due to lack of options.

No couple lasts. I don't think we are made monogamous. We are forced into it, and it clearly shows in all those couples.

Instead look at the attractive couples that last. I have a hot colleague that's been married for 5-10 years and she's giving me "fuck me signals".

Bottom line is, there is no "couples" with an attractive partner that lasts forever

[–]mishasam89 19 points20 points  (1 child)

oh man, if this is true, and i think it is, it is just so fucking sad...

jesus, why didn't someone tell me this when i was 13, i would have grown up completely differently! god damnn it.

I can't help but think that there might actually be some very rare examples. But then again, you might say it;s because they probably have a low libido.. LOL

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

// , I bet you think banks make their money by legitimate, prosocial means, too.

But seriously, if you're interested in some of the biological basis for serial polygyny (divorced women re-marry at much lower rates than men) I recommend the following book:

https://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-People-Have-More-Daughters/dp/0399534539

  • Miller, A. S., & Kanazawa, S. (2008). Why beautiful people have more daughters: from dating, shopping, and praying to going to war and becoming a billionaire: two evolutionary psychologists explain why we do what we do. New York: Perigee Book. Alan S. Miller is now dead, and Satoshi Kanazawa has been ostracized from the general scientific community, largely as a result of this work's publication

http://www.chumplady.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/assunicorn.jpg

[–]mishasam89 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"fuck me signals".

what's an example of a fuck me signal?

[–]plainposter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

yeah, it's just your turn on that bitch. she been getting passed around like a joint at a party. and it's your turn to hit it, and pass it to the left. just like a joint, when you hit that bitch in the pussy, you get high. and you can take the power back into your hands, and knowingly pass her onto your homies. like "hey, i'm done with her, you want her now?". that's advanced shit tho. only works with the realest niggas you've ever met. it's all part of the game.

[–]IDGAFMentality 40 points41 points  (5 children)

I'm still trying to swallow this pill. My story is the same as yours, during my greatest time of need my ex-girlfriend abandoned me. I, like you, dumped her before she had the chance to dump me, devastated that the girl I loved and cared for so deeply when she was going through hell so easily disregarded me during my own crisis.

Looking back, after having internalized many other TRP principles, I understand now that I should not have opened up to her or exposed my wall's vulnerability to her.

To be honest, even though I am making progress in getting over it and releasing my anger towards her, I'm not where you are yet. I have a tremendous amount of respect for your ability to absolve your SO of blame, and I hope to be at the point you have achieved one day.

Thank you for the reminder brother, and good luck on your journey.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Thank you very much. If you ever need an opinion on something, or honestly just to vent, shoot me a PM. We're all in this together.

[–]IDGAFMentality 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your support, and same for you mate, we're all here to help others fortify their walls.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think it is fine and maybe even healthy sometimes to be angry at an Ex who abandoned you. The problem is when you extend the anger to all women. Even though AWALT, you can prevent the next girl from fucking you over- but you have to remember your anger. Don't hold onto it, but never forget.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One cant prevent a girl from being disloyal but he one can prevent this disloyalty from causing serious harm

[–]maeksimili 1 point2 points  (0 children)

try to imagine the feeling you might STILL have after 1,2,3,5 years have passed. I spent 10 years living in the past and just now broke free. What a waste.. don't allow that to happen to you.

[–]FriskyPiranha 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Love the wall analogy. I've a bit of a knot in my throat myself at the end of that and have difficulty believing another human being wouldn't treat you fairly, but I forget where I am. Are you back on your feet today?

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Yes and no. My feet are still a problem.

But they're my problem. And only my problem. That's the lesson I've learned.

Thanks for the concern though. It's appreciated.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

What tendon was it exactly and what was the cause of injury? Bad form on an excercise or blunt force trauma or a genetical disease?

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Shit genetics. But, honestly, a really comfy pair of Sketchers fixes it up pretty good. Damn, they make good shoes.

[–]Endorsed ContributorPopeman79 18 points19 points  (1 child)

This is why hardships should be brought upon guys from a young age, because this is the rite of passage that converts them into men. It used to be like that (and it still is in some primal societies): when a young guy reaches a certain age, you make him go through hell and teach him to overcome. Then he becomes a man.

I became a man not when I swallowed a pill, but when life threw the biggest shit at me and I overcame it. After that I know I'll never be broken again. I'm thankful for these hardships.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

People who had a tough upbringing are usually the most down to earth people you'll meet. Life has taught them many lessons, and they've become jaded and stoic because of it.

[–]JimmyJon12 16 points17 points  (5 children)

I never post or comment here, but this right here hit home so hard! I was in a similar situation. My LTR always said "I'm so happy with you, you're beyond perfect, you're everything I want, I love you so much..." and all that stuff. She didn't say it all the time for reassurance, or to a point where it was suspicious or annoying, but she did say it at right times. Once I was done with getting my Masters degree, I didn't have a job right away, thing's got stressful because of responsibilities I had to take care of. She started to drift away a little, then she started to disconnect with me, then eventually she didn't want to be with me anymore, and it felt like there was absolutely nothing to do about it. I will say, once everything did come together in my life, she would contact me and during those times she would ask "Do you ever think about us? Not now but in the future". I just had to think to myself "wow, so when things are rough, you'll just up and leave and find something more stable rather than help build something back". You probably won't read this, but your post hit home and helped in realization, and put things into a better perspective

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I know this is easier said than done, but don't hate her for it. She only did what came naturally to her. I'm glad I could help.

[–]JimmyJon12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I for sure don't hate her, I did for a short period of time, but now we became civil and now we can talk like adults. We had a connection for a reason and I think because of that we can still talk like before we dated and hold a conversation with one another. You're right, it was something that came naturally to her, and I'm glad I got over it and moved on and I looked to enjoy my life and myself instead of sitting and moping about it.

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the funny thing about your situation is that women constantly say they will stick with a guy. But hell even today women are able to have their own jobs and ways to generate income, yet they still depend on us despite them saying how independent they are.

Now obviously I know the answers to why they do this, but its still funny to think about.

[–]JensenMse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that's just amazing. I've seen quite a lot in my life giving a nod to your comment. Finished my Bachelor's degree just shy over 2 years back and I'm still battling unemployment. Got an LTR a few months after my graduation and things were awesome. However lately she's been distancing herself, often asking me whether I still see a future together and asking me if I really love her. I get the feeling she's gonna leave coz I'm stagnant right now in life. I still have faith things will work out for me, been lifting weights, applied for my Master's degree, and working on a few side projects to keep myself sane. It would be a shame if she left, but I've already accepted that she can leave at anytime so it won't bother me that much, I know I can pick more girls after her.

The part where you say she keeps contacting you when your stuff started going well just makes me laugh really loud. It's so true. Girls are not attracted to weakness, they always have their hypergamy clock ticking. They will put you on hold and keep watch on you at a distance just so she can cash in on you again when you've finally picked yourself up. No wonder all of my exes have tried to hook up with me again after I pass a few stages of improvement.

All the same, she must never see the weak side of you. She must never know the full you. She must always worship you like a God, only seeing the "divine" side of you that makes her tick.

[–]Zenitco 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of servicemen who come back mangled to their significant others.

[–]AnjaJutta 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"Real men don't cry™"

Once again our ancestors were sharing their wisdom with us through a simple phrase.

[–]kiekrzanin 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I have a similar story. All was good until I got diagnosed with spinal cancer. During the most important surgery in my life, she wasn’t there. She was „scared of hospitals”. I dumped her, got back to health and to building myself on the gym. Replaced her with a better prospect. Of course she wanted me back after that but I completely ghosted her.

[–]Care_Asthma 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This made me think of the movie 50/50.

See it if you haven't. Very RP actually.

[–]kiekrzanin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A friend recommended it to me when I was out of hospital. I really liked it + it has Anna Kendrick and Pearl Jam in the score haha

[–]royal_raijin 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I went through something similar. I had an almost unicorn like LTR. She was an 8 with great qualities. She did a lot of caring and loving things. Stuck with me through the hospital and I was her first bf. Her plan was to marry eventually. She was pretty conservative.

But after awhile it turns out she revealed that she just wasn't all she said she was. I went back into the hospital and she wasn't here anymore. Then everything slowly and painfully went down. I spent the last few months bettering myself and recovering my lost confidence. I'll admit it has been a hard pill to swallow. Seeing the woman you loved with another man. Who actually is a complete downgrade in all areas.

[–]Real_Hood 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I got out of a LTR of 3 and a half years two Months ago. A lot of the things your just mentioned were similar. Her first bf, she was a 7 probably, good qualities, hard worker, was liberal(I'm conservative). She stuck with my through a lot of shit up until I graduated from college(took me longer than her 6 years her 4). She helped me as a person in many ways but I after I decided to work with my father and go the harder route she slowly started to slip away. I feel looking back now she isn't the right person for me in the longer term but I do hate seeing her with another guy already. I really hated her for it when I first saw it because it was rather quick for her to get in another relationship(less than 2 months). I do want her to be happy and feel a little still like I lost my unicorn. The hardest part though is like you described at the end.. seeing her with someone who is definitely a downgrade. I almost feel like she is doing it to poke me because the guy really isn't who I thought she would go after after me in the slightest. I know I can't hate her for it but it did really hurt when it all came crashing down because I needed her support more than ever during the last year and didn't get it. I work with my father on a HUGE project and it will be public soon, I know I am making the right decisions for me... she will regret your choice I know at some point but I know deep down she was dragging me down. Don't let anyone drag you down.. life is hard enough without someone being a monkey on your back everyday. Besides this big project I am also about to complete two deal that will take me from $20k now to over $150k. I would have not been able to complete these deals with her still in my life. Make yourself better everyday and kill them with success!

[–]royal_raijin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well said brother, success is the best revenge! I wish my ex well. She did things no one but my mother would do. But, not all things are what they seem. As men we have the privilege to make mistakes and truly learn a universe of information from them. She reached out to me and I wowed her with my progress. Meanwhile she wastes her time and REALLY downgraded. Even states she's perfect and did no wrong in our breakup. But, as a man instead of crying I took full responsibility.

I looked back and reflected on where I broke frame and messed up. I looked at my life and saw she was holding me down with her regular person mentality. My goal was to make 1 million this year. She tried to say it would never happen. But, I'm going to do it. I have to. Maybe not this year. But, definitely 2018. Why? Because as a man I can command and conquer my life.

In essence I'm grateful for the break up. It taught me 20 years worth of lessons I'll never forget. The woman I loved is essentially dead. So, I'll move on and let this new version of her disappear as I succeed.

Keep ya head up brother

[–]Hltchens 6 points7 points  (2 children)

On the contrary, god bleeds honey

[–]Solon64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't tell them that, they'll turn into black bears, constantly swatting at the bee hive for more honey. Bad idea.

[–]Hannibal10 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I love the metaphor with the stone wall. Oddly enough before I found TRP I always considered allowing a women into my life like letting someone move past the stone wall that I've created. Within the stone wall was all of my desires in life. The problem is once you allow an outsider into your space where all your desires live, they have the potential to disrupt or destroy those desires. Inevitably, when the relationship folded it was hard to enjoy what I loved for the longest time. The lesson learned is to not let people move past the stone wall and into your space where you contain your desires and truest self.

[–]JaspersChest 17 points18 points  (4 children)

I have to disagree about a man's support being altruistic. I'm in no way defending woman, I'm saying that there's shades of evil on both sides of the field.

Woman loves man for protection, man loves woman for the pride that comes with being a protector. All the "love" is selfish in its own way. Man is not righteous and his motives aren't any more pure than womans.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I can definitely see that.

The only thing that may separate the two would be along the lines that if a man doesn't need to constantly protect the woman, he is unlikely to leave her to find one who needs his overwatch. Whereas a woman most certainly will not stick around if you can't provide her with said protection.

If it happens for the man, he may definitely get something out of it and enjoy the feeling it comes with. But it isn't necessary. From a woman's perspective, the man MUST provide that feeling of security.

[–]j_arbuckle2012 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Man loves women for the sex, and physical affection mainly.

I take no pride in having to defend women who are too stupid to avoid trouble in the first place. Nor do I take pride in leading her out of a dangerous crisis. I enjoy my protective instint, but I would much rather have a woman who I know is capable of avoiding trouble.

Sex, affection, and childbearing/rearing are the main reasons men love women. Our protective instincts just foster an environment where we can have all three.

[–]Faust1an 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Holy shit, this resonates with me so well you have no idea. The worst thing is when women deliberately put themselves in a dangerous situation and expect you to chase after them and save them. How about no

[–]ImVendetta 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A very solid piece with great analogy. Really loved it, drove your point home. Right in the feelz.

[–]BreakingRed_ 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I 100% agree with the core message of your post, but I'm having trouble understanding this (which isn't part of the core message):

A man's support is quite often altruistic, where as a woman's desire to support is inherently selfish.

"A man's support is quite often altruistic"? Last time I checked "No more mr. nice guy" is one of the required reads of the sub because beta men are selfish. They supplicate women that want to LTR expecting something in return (sex). And if we agree that the world is largely blue pill conditioned then it's not a far fetch theory that the majority of men support women selfishly, with every bit of kindness being an obligation to be paid back "one day".

This is usually the spot where most readers new to TRP are lost, and refuse to accept that fact that when a woman says she loves you, what she's really saying is "at this current point in time, I love you because you're checking off my emotional and physical wishlist, but the second that stops, I won't feel the same way".​

I don't know. I don't see myself getting married anytime soon with the way things are, but if I were to attempt to imagine how it would be I would expect my wife to maintain her physical and mental status (take care of herself and be sharp with what she has to do). The moment she would stop checking off my physical wishlist and expectations, like turning into an incompetent couch potato fat mom, I'd drop her on the spot. The "love magic" by that point is gone and reality settles in, no reason to stick around unless you don't value yourself and you think you're out of SMV.

[–]bestCallEver 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Re: altruistic love; haven't you ever been "in love" with a babe, and when you think about her sweet little laugh, or the poignant vulnerability of her slender wrists, you just feel a warm, protective love in your heart? In that moment you want to protect her from the pain of the world (as much or more) as you want to fuck her silly, and I think that's the altruistic love op is talking about, and which ladies don't inherently feel for men.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a fairly accurate description.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I saw this linked on the Blue pill referring to "toxic masculinity" whatever the fuck that means. I find it odd that the thread over there is full of how it's bullshit that Men can't show weakness etc and that we should be able too.

Yet this thread is full of stories about how Men got abandoned and ditched by Women for doing exactly that. Yet it's somehow "toxic masculinity" not "toxic femininity" that is the problem.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I saw that. Apparently the message of being a strong leader is toxic.

It's not something I have to explain or justify though. Any man who has had it happen to him knows it all too well.

Almost nobody finds TRP and says "yeah, this shit is so true! Oh my God!" The reality is that most men find this place after they've been broken and in desperate need of help. They've seen the end result. We just try to explain what lead up to it.

[–]zeussingh 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Thats one of the most beautiful posts i have ever read. Thanks a lot for the time and effort. And i think it will help a lot of people swallow this particular pill.

And Yeah its a hard one to swallow .

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any time. Glad I was able to help.

[–]mydogfartzwithz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If a man is a pure leader a female can love him the way he wants, because the way he wants to be loved fits her paradigm, how she sees the world and wants to have the best kids. Anyway Ill expand on this more later

[–]thecrimeofperfection 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't hate her for losing interest in me anymore than I'd hate a lion who attacked me for walking into its den.

“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.” - D.H. Lawrence

The laws of nature are unchanging and unforgiving, no use in feeling bitter, right?

[–]DDBull 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"at this current point in time, I love you because you're checking off my emotional and physical wishlist, but the second that stops, I won't feel the same way" - Pardon my ignorance but isn't this same for men too? I don't know about others but woman's physical appereance and her behaviour does affect how I feel towards her. You put extra 20-30 pounds? Sorry sunshine I aint gonna fuck you

[–]Luckylancer96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"a man goes to his wife's funeral to find another woman"

Man tend to try to find another women when their wife gets seriously sick (i heard this, no self experience).

[–]Mr-Ed209 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Excellent write up. Good to see the 'she can't love you like you love her' concept explained so elequently.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points1 points [recovered]

What do you do if you get sick? Avoid her?

[–]NiceTryDisaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very well written. Thank you for this post

[–]Dirtball231 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn. Well said sir, really hits home

[–]TheSp4rk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good read, relatable. Thanks for sharing.

[–]ScottDurden 1 points1 points [recovered]

When I had my second shoulder surgery the recovery time was close to a year & a half before I could lift the way I had before.

I never felt more powerless in my life than I did in that time. I watched myself lose 30lbs & be disregarded by girls I would have normally been able to pull.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can show emotion to people...just not women. That's what homies are for.

[–]uebermacht 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]bornredd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am reminded of the line by Sam Elliott as Virgil Earp in Tombstone, after his arm was mangled by a shotgun blast:

Don't worry Allie girl. I still got one good arm to hold you with.

[–]Carson1099 1 point2 points  (6 children)

What if you told her about a time where you felt really weak and at your lowest in your life. Perhaps showed emotion when reiterating the period of time. But then you tell her that you are completely fine now and if anything... you felt stronger because of that period of time. Will this still show that there could be a hole in the wall?

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

What's your ultimate goal with deciding to tell her?

[–]Carson1099 1 point2 points  (4 children)

So what I just told you, was what I told her months back about a situation that ran back over a year ago. I guess when I told her, it was more for comfort or for her to understand me better. Seemed like a relevant topic during the time but now is making me question why it was ever really necessary to expose myself like that.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't worry so much about it, but there's nothing to gain from sharing weaknesses. Even if they're past-tense. You can say you had a shitty time, but never say things like "I was so depressed and broken". It should be "it happened, it sucked, I dealt with it" if you even have to share it at all.

[–]Carson1099 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Loud and fucking clear bro. Thanks for the insight.

[–]gELSK 1 point2 points  (1 child)

// , I made the same mistake, a few days ago.

[–]Carson1099 1 point2 points  (0 children)

in it together I guess haha

[–]EnzoGold 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This shit is so depressing it makes me want to cry. I was always okay with being alone in the world but to have someone and still be alone is what breaks me. Crazy how I thought finding the "one" would allow me to be myself with them but that realistically would never work.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Find comfort in yourself. Not in a woman. They can BE comforting, but strengthen yourself so that you never NEED her comfort. It's just nice when it happens.

[–]EnzoGold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I've been working on that for the past 2 months and my life got exponentially better

[–]Ret_Capt_Save_A_Hoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely one of the best post here in TRP. Had the "lump in my throat" moment reading this. And I admit, I had the exact same experience and did the exact same thing few months ago. But the good thing is that the long hidden masks everybody's wearing are now gone. Dust your self off man, banner away!

[–]gELSK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

// , Regardless of whether this anecdote speaks to larger trends among women, I deeply appreciate your willingness to share it with us.

People like us must learn to never fear abandonment.

[–]Govedo13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As I'm sure you figured out, since this example of an injury is oddly specific, that was what happened to me.

It is not that specific at all. I am in your boat as well. I was ran over by car. Thus I lost my job, dropped out of the university and got ditched by my LTR as result a year latter. I was money-less, in pain without any perspectives in life. If it was not my father, I would had been royally fucked for good.

Now 7 years after this I feel really happy that this happened to me at so young age. The suffering enabled me to become the man that I am today. I had 2 business, made some money, invested in property. Now I still work but it is mostly for the need to feel useful. I can retire completely at the age of 35 with enough money to do whatever I want.

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Upvoted for great tree metaphors.

[–]Wolfengristl 1 points1 points [recovered]

Does this injury have a name or is it too specific such that your identity may be known?

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Men are naturally powerful.

Now some time for tough love: no, not all men are naturally powerful. The course of evolution is to tune the male of the species to be naturally powerful. Yes. That is the goal. Unfortunately, genetics aren't all or nothing; there are males that are not naturally powerful. It is a sad truth that we must all accept--no male is best at everything and there are a quite a few males that are worst at most.

Yes. You may have lost the genetic lottery and there isn't a fucking thing I can do to help you. We all need to work with what we have.. The good news is that there a lot of female genetic leftovers too. Actually working at it gives most men some opportunity with women, as long as you keep your expectations in line with reality and you don't just give up and start fucking oversized pillows with short asian girls printed on them. (Seriously, guys, wtf?!?)

[–]gELSK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

// , naturally powerful in general

And the pillows can't divorce you.

[–]simagule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To add to your post. The way you frame the weakness can have a big impact on the response . Are you saying this a fundamental flaw and i am about to crumble or are you saying hey there is a rough patch but we will get through it soon enough.

A crude comparisions a girl gets horrible spot on face that impacts her looks. Do you end things there maybe depends how bad it is. Now imagin this spot then scars so its will be there forever will you still stay with her or is it over?

My point is alot of trp deals in absolutes dont say x. But women dont look at what is being said so much as how its said.

[–]yxngdrilla19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A great example is Harvey Weinstein's wife. Classic AWALT.

[–]cafeitalia 0 points1 point  (9 children)

If the woman you had didn't stand with you in your weakest hour, you were not fucking her but she had been fucking you all along while you were thinking you were alpha.

No son, you were not alpha, you were not the man, you were just a dumbass thinking how amazing alpha you were.

The real man is the one who has the woman who will stand with him in his weakest hour in his darkest hour. When he cries in a hospital bed because his Achilles tendon is ripped apart and his woman tells him not to worry because she will take care of him and she does all through his recovery he is the alpha.

The one that thinks he is alpha and gets his ass canned in the first so called sign of weakness has never been the man at all.

[–]Lyppded 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What are you talking about. Women always gravitate towards alphas. To a woman, the moment she discovers you have a moment of darkness, you are not as alpha anymore. If you are less alpha, other man are comparatively more attractive than you.

WTF dude, are you superman huh? You never ever get injured or suffer any setbacks in your life? Fuck off. We are not talking about the common flu here.

AWALT. The moment life trips you up, you are no longer alpha. If right then she spots another man who seems better than you in your broken state, she will leave. Keep dreaming about woman who will stick with you if you get a long term injury.

[–]faceless3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thats a fantasy, sorry this is not reality

[–]gELSK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

// , Why do you blame the man, here, for shitty behavior that fundamentally involves trusting someone else whose female nature is more unpredictable than yours?

[–]MrTrizzles 0 points1 point  (5 children)

About fucking time. If her attraction was so tenuous as to be severed by some minor show of humanity then it was already destined for ruin.

The whole OP was written from a position of weakness and he doesn't even know it. Well written though.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

I think you're misunderstanding my point, so I'll reiterate. I didn't just show "one moment of humanity". I showed the same moment over and over again. A woman will happily stand by you and support you if she thinks that this is a stress you'll get over. My point is that if you make it seem like this is too much for you to handle, she'll realise you can be broken.

Injury is different than broken. We recover from injuries, and a woman will gladly stand by your side and help you heal.

But admitting defeat? There's no coming back from that.

[–]dzkkne 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Just a general comment

I find that on TRP the Alpha talk sometimes gets too ridiculous. Basically a bunch of dudes asking each other is this alpha or not etc... Alpha never needs confirmation of whether he is alpha.

You are alpha, you are the fking rock that women hide behind for safety. You had a moment of weakness, sh_t happens, got injured. If it was a big upset in your life - it is normal to have a moment of weakness when you think you can't handle it. This doesn't make you not-Alpha, may be only at that very moment you don't exhibit your usual Alpha behaviour. So what it takes a few weeks or a month to recover mentally. You will recover and be back in the game. Mind is a muscle and can get injured just like any other muscle. If the woman next to you couldn't handle it - whatever, you can't deal with another problem in your life, if she is not helping - she is no use to you. When you are back on your feet and back to being alpha she will want to get back to you, but you will tell her - no, because who the hell needs parasites in their life.

Think of it - all the greatest sports champions in the world exhibit a very specific quality, which I think is a key alpha mindset - ability to bounce back from defeats. I happen to follow tennis and if you look at Federer, when the match comes to the matchpoint or break-point he is able to recover like no-one else. Focused and impartial - not thinking about losing, but how to perform right here right now. And even when he loses a major competition, he is back on his top game the next time. Think...

[–]Endorsed ContributorPopeman79 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If it was a big upset in your life - it is normal to have a moment of weakness when you think you can't handle it. This doesn't make you not-Alpha, may be only at that very moment you don't exhibit your usual Alpha behaviour

Totally agree with you but women don't think feel like that. A man will know you can be a little bitch for a while and will recover. A woman will see you just were a little bitch at some point, and that's enough for her to lose interest. Even when you're back to your alpha ways, she'll always have this image in her mind, of you crying and lost.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. In her mind, it happened once. That means it'll happen twice.

[–]HaasonHeist -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

I think you might be dating the wrong chicks dude.

[–]BallsMahonie[S] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Why? I'll date them all until I figure out what kind I want. The only "wrong" type of woman is a woman I learn no lessons from.

[–]HaasonHeist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are probably right. I am not dating any women at all! Guess I can't talk