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Dont (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by ryalln

SUMMARY: Raised my son for 3 1/2 years to find out he wasnt mine.

BACKGROUND: Knocked up my girlfriend @ 23. Got a better job at crushing my sole. Earned more money to pay rent for a house she wanted. Worked terrible hours to suppoer my family. (My spelling is shit)

BODY: As all young men do is go out and find a pretty goal to stick your dick into. I found mine and kept on doing that unprotected as stupid guys do. Roughly into a year of dating this girl who at the time was actually pretty good looking we find out she was pregnant.

What did i do? Well we dropped the expensive apartment we lived in because that is a smart thing to do. From here we moved into my parents controlling house as it was the cheapest option. While doing this I stuck in a battle of control between my mother and my partner at the time. As any stupid guy you stay on both sides and let that play out.

While living out the family dream i had to go and get a higher paying job so I did. With that come roster hours. Those included 6am starts and some days 10pm finish. Again the beta in me did it as that is what i learnt was the "right thing to do".

A year into a shitty job and now having a child who takes away your free time with 0 sex I actually started to push back. The moment I wanted to become myself again i had all sorts of troubles. She wanted to go to uni, so I organised a my friend to baby sit or my family to do so. She took my car as she didnt have one and i spent allllllll my money on petrol. Hell i even paid for stationary.

That didnt last long so we ended out "relationship". She did what Ive seen on here and heard from mates is bring back sex. I was actually smart enough and didnt humor her. That result in 2-4 weeks sleeping in a couch while I organised another bed in the house I paid all the rent for while we "broke up".

During this entire time I went from being a skinny arse nerd to a FAT fuck. easily 30KG + gained. I dont know the conversion for you US folk but im sure google can sort it out.

What next you ask? Kidney stones. Dealing with that and a break up yeahhhh never again i said. What did i agree too? 6 months of living with my ex while co-parenting. She during this time paid 0 rent and I was treated like the partner to pay for everything. I did it.

Great she is moving out what shit do I agree to at the time now. Well one thing im super happy i did was organising my family to pack the van so she could get out in 1 go and not waste my time. What I didnt plan for was having to drive my car with her crap and help them unpack. That was fine and dandy untill they expected me to pay for the van petrol that her and her family hired. Again I did it.

At this stage I ended up getting a crazy house mate and using the money to get drunk every weekend and actually banging decent babes. Some women love a dad bod and I wont forget those times. Those time kept me sane.

A year later, ive found a better job and to get some money under my belt ive moved back home to my mother. This was a choice Ive regreted but thats another story. Ex starts to play the im abusing my son while he spends time with me. Ill be honest i never hit my son but i wasnt the most active dad as I was unfit and fat.

During this time now that i look back everything she did was clearly planned out. I was asked on the day before my birthday for a DNA test. She calmed she didnt know my bday but a facebook post i made a week she commented on. A month after this I lawyered up.

My memmory of the time frame after this point is a bit iffy so im going to do dot point. Most of that time frame is spend from 2014 to 2015

  1. Ask for DNA test before my birthday
  2. Step father dies in here somewhere.
  3. Lawyered up
  4. Send leter requesting acces.
  5. She denies access claiming abuse
  6. Provideds access on fathers day 6 weeks after denying it
  7. Receive letter from Births, Death and marraiges advising Im no longer on the birthday certificate. (On the aniversary of my step fathers death)

After that not much happened, I wasted money trying to get access to a son that wasnt mine. She had already fled my state so options where 0 and cost was high. 2 years in court with no resolution i pulled away a defeated man.

She knew from the begining he was never mine. That was all a plan to do what she wanted. As soon as I didnt fall into the beta mind set she pulled out the trump card.

LESSONS LEARNED: I cant tell you what I have learned as im still learning. I can only tell you what I did and you can see everywhere I went wrong.

One thing I have is I respect my father a lot more now then when i was a teeenager. He has helped me more then anything else ever. Im back on my feet and seemling not unhappy now.

Being a dad was as much as it was terrible as the time a great thing to do. I loved doing guy shit with my son. That shit was one of the best feelings i miss.

WHAT HAVE I CHANGED: I hit the gym and I love it. I got my motorbike license and nearly lost it. I live alone and I do what I want.

Im still shit with women but that is improving.


[–]Andrew54321 460 points461 points  (10 children)

Successful people aren’t people who don’t have problems, they are people who have learned to overcome their problems.

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Success implies victory. Victory implies opposition.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Successful people also learn not only from their own mistakes but also from the mistakes of others.

OP and TRP are providing a great service for young men in this regard. While growing up, many of us didn't have a forum where fellow men could swap stories and cautionary tales and where we could learn from those who are older and wiser.

Here's a recent submission where the OP dodged a bullet partially thanks to what he learned in this forum.

I came so damn close to saying yes, she had been perfect, never given me a reason not to trust her, other than the age difference. But I hadn't seen it coming, especially with the constant reminders that we were a temporary thing. That and my paranoia and the red pill advised me to say no, so that's what I did.

OP: thank you for sharing your lessons learned. It was an expensive lesson and will help you become a better man.

Young men out there (with all due respect to OP): don't be this guy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And don't live in countries like France where paternity tests are illegal.

[–]ryalln[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

As much as drunk me stuffed up the Title I feel you can take from it how you want. I'm all down for not being me, I felt and saw things I could of avoided but I didnt to do the "right thing".

But those who read this, seriously dont ever be that guy that I was. And if there are young dads who can see there relationship like me give me a ho and ill chat and tell you about what i went through and you can decide what to do.

[–]Could_have_listened 1 point2 points  (0 children)

could of

Did you mean could've?


I am a bot account.

[–]claydn 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Amen

[–]DodgedAFew 12 points13 points  (2 children)

At some stage we did not know radiation exists and is a problem. Same with sex based psychology.

[–]LordDongler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is ultimately a good thing, though. It shows that our species and societies continue to mature.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same with sex based psychology.

Except, in this case, we used to know and understand it. It's only in the last hundred years or so of the West that we've tried to pretend it doesn't exist.

There is a similarity, though, in that people used to believe that radiation was good for you. It was only when too many people started dying that we realized that it was actually not a good idea to spray yourself with X-rays as a party trick.

[–]Kalepsis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And the really successful people find ways to turn their problems into profits.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 93 points94 points  (6 children)

She knew from the begining he was never mine. That was all a plan to do what she wanted. As soon as I didnt fall into the beta mind set she pulled out the trump card.

Dear god.

This is a excellent illustration why paternity should be an issue from the start. No need to be a dick about it. Make it super clear that if it is your child, you'll be a super good dad. She will already know the consequences for it not being your child, so no need to harp on them.

Godspeed, friend.

[–]0signal0 57 points58 points  (5 children)

the consequences for it not being your child

I doubt she'd care. A lot of western women believe single motherhood to be a badge of honour, regardless of the terrible outcome it has for all parties involved.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (3 children)

And that should speak volumes to you about how exactly there brains work.

It's never a question of "What is best for my child, what will give him/her/toaster oven/apache attack helicopter the best future?"

It's a question of "How the fuck do I feel right now, and how can I capitalise on what's happening to me right now?"

[–]ryalln[S] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Try handing over a 3 1/2 year old who knows they will never see you again. I was scratched by him as his mother pulled him away and I've only ever seen people cry that much when they know someone is dead.

At that point im sure she knew I wasnt the dad. WHy else would she let me see him.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear that, nobody deserves something like that to happen to them, I hope you're doing okay.

[–]beginner_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They care. The rest is a rationalization because being a single-mom means they were too dumb to secure beta-bucks.

[–]omega_dawg93 64 points65 points  (6 children)

i used a condom. she said (while crying), "i don't care... they aren't 100% effective... he's YOUR SON, DAMMIT!!!"

and i moved on. meanwhile, she told my mom (they worked at the same hospital), my dad, all my friends, and ALL of her family that i was a deadbeat who didn't love his son.

8 months passed and a friend told me, "you did the right thing. she was seeing Mike." i was confused... but i approached her about it.

about 2 months later, the DNA test (requested by Mike) proved that he was indeed the father of her child. remember, i had on a condom... so i knew something was up.

oh, by the way, Mike is (and still is) her best friend's husband.

gentlemen, use a dickbag, and do NOT believe anything that comes out of her mouth... unless it's your limp, cum-drained cock.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 22 points23 points  (0 children)

, "i don't care... they aren't 100% effective... he's YOUR SON, DAMMIT!!!" and i moved on. meanwhile, she told my mom (they worked at the same hospital), my dad, all my friends, and ALL of her family that i was a deadbeat who didn't love his son.

Society doesn't want to lock women and especially mothers up for their crimes.

This is clearly attempted fraud. Lying for material gain. The exact definition of fraud.

And yet - no punishment.

So of course women do it. Why wouldn't they? Either you believe her and she wins big ($$$).... or you don't and she doesn't lose - because there are no consequences. At worst she can say "oops" and everyone forgives her.

The crime here is that men are not warned about this behaviour. In fact we get the opposite: "support single moms! look after Chad's baby! you sexist bastard!"

[–]KazarakOfKar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My father had that shit pulled on him once, little did she know he'd been snipped. She finally admitted the child was some guy who worked for Mitsubishi motors. She ended up marrying a different guy though, the only son of the owner of the trailer park where she lived.

TL:DR women are wired to survive, they will give men anything they want so long as they survive. It is a biological imperative THEY SURVIVE, get knocked up and perpetuate the human race. They will say and do anything to have the most biologically strong children and gather up whatever resources they possibly can to insure survival of the offspring.

[–]---Libertas--- 168 points169 points  (12 children)

OP please start reading every single night. Your written language skills are appalling.

[–]RedditorFor1OYears 54 points55 points  (6 children)

I'll second that. Don't take it the wrong way /u/ryalln, you should be trying you improve yourself in as many ways as you can.

[–]HoneySquash 32 points33 points  (0 children)

wholesomeredpill

We should be more like this. It's all about self improvement and being a better person. Often it gets too bitter in here.

[–]ryalln[S] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Dw mate, I have no issue. Im fully aware of my lack of writting skills. 6 month ago It would of been worse so considering you can comprehend my story thats a start.

[–]ValuePrestige 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"would have" while we're at it

[–]Psychocist -1 points0 points  (1 child)

is your name ryalln or ryan? :P don't listen to these chumps! We understand ya find.

[–]searcher612 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Guessing English is not his first language based on some of the content.

[–]---Libertas--- 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Look at his post history, English is his first language but it’s funny that it’s so bad that you didn’t think it was.

[–]icedupsmackhead 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Ride that motorcycle as much as you can. Carve the mountains and hit the track. I promise that shit is better therapy than any you'll get in a doctors office.

[–]enjoy_life88 96 points97 points  (5 children)

Kudos for keeping yourself at the edge of sanity, some might've lost it completely.

From here on, things will only improve for you.

[–]ryalln[S] 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Its taken a long time, and I wont ever get 100% over it. But that I know more about myself now.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 34 points35 points  (0 children)

and I wont ever get 100% over it.

You might think that now, but you will eventually. It just takes a few years.

Remember, it takes about an equal amount of time to recover from something like this as you were in it. Dated for 2 years? It'll take 2 years to recover. Thought you had a kid for 3.5 years and suffered 2 years of dealing with it in court? It'll take you 5.5 years to get past it. This isn't an iron rule, but it's a solid rule of thumb.

5 1/2 years seems like a long time, but it's not. You'll realize as you get older how fast time really starts to fly. And guys shouldn't be getting into serious relationships until around 30 anyway. Take these next few years to focus on you.

[–]anon2777 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i know everyone has already told you the opposite, but i think it's okay if you never get over it. what happened to you is worse than what 90% of western civilization ever has to deal with, you thought a kid was yours for years, that's gotta be nearly impossible to get over. just keep working man, learn from it and be better

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Don’t tether yourself to your past bro. “I’ll never 100% get over it.” What are you seriously STILL going to let some dumb bitch cast shade on what could be a spectacular life? Not only is that school of thought allowing for this, it is PLANNING for it. What instead you should plan for is to use the knowledge and experience you have gathered for future use. Nothing less, nothing more.

[–]UrRealDad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. The human mind is an amazing thing. You can get over absolutely anything or let a minor irritation drive you to insanity, it's all up to you. Let go of negativity. Just let it go. Letting go doesn't mean you agree with whatever happened, it means you refuse to let it harm you any further. Remember, there are men who have lost limbs in war but choose to run marathons.

[–]vwzwv 21 points22 points  (4 children)

She asked you for your DNA?

Was the your name once on the birth certificate?

She moved out why?

Are you legally off the hook? Were you ever legally on the hook?

15 other questions..

Don't follow your story.

[–]apjfqw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her asking for dna test doesnt make any sense!

[–]ryalln[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

She asked for a DNA test. As she "doubted" my fatherhood.

My name was originally on the birth certificate.

She moved out as we broke up and didnt want to live with me. Plus I started to do what I wanted.

I had to continue to pay child support for roughly 12 months while I knew the child wasnt mine. I got some of that back. But that does include any of it I legally had to give her before I found out it wasnt mine.

[–]beta_no_mo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Are you positive the test you saw was legit? This sounds like the most fucked up way to use a child as leverage to hurt a man.

[–]ryalln[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

During the court process I was required to do testing with my DNA. $400 spent but if she lied it would of been a huge win for me.

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points  (9 children)

Actual lesson learned: USE A FUCKING CONDOM

[–]AussiePhil82 36 points37 points  (7 children)

Don't get how guys go around fucking unprotected then surprised when someone gets knocked up? WTF did you expect to happen? That's literally the only purpose of sex.

[–]Peter_B_Long 14 points15 points  (1 child)

The first girl I was fucking when I was 16 we wouldn't use a condom and I think socially it just has a "lame" and "boring" connotation to it. I was hyped about not using a condom even when I was a virgin. I would hear guys talk about how much better it feels and being able to cum in a girl was the best thing in the world. No surprise that she ended up getting pregnant and I had definitely learned my lesson. Long story short, a PSYCHIC told me that the baby wasn't mine. I confronted her about it and she stood quiet. I walked away and never saw her again. A week after I confronted her, she got back together with her ex and they've been raising the kid ever since. I've definitely used a condom every single time since then except when I was in an LTR and she was on birth control.

It really doesn't even feel that much better. And then pulling out sucks. No guy wants to pull out. We have an instinct to push in as deep as we can go when we feel the nut coming.

[–]PMmepicsofyourtits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can we go back a second, a psychic told you the kid wasn’t yours? I’ve got to hear this.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (4 children)

I feel like unprotected sex is as stupid as drunk driving. It will seriously cause 18+ years of pain. You can't be a grown man and take unprotected sex so damn lightly.

[–]party_next_door 14 points15 points  (1 child)

18 Minimum years of pain. Minimum.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It's only 18 years of. Pain If the lady knows. Your name!

Stay mysterious fellas

[–]MisterRoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The real lesson is to request a fucking paternity test. If a bitch pulled that shit on me I would probably beat her to a bloody pulp, and be ready to kill myself when/if I'm about to be captured. Better than living with the humiliation of having been cucked.

[–]lionmaruu 1 points1 points [recovered]

I know a guy that got involved with a woman with three other kids, from two different fathers, because he is retarded, he got her pregnant, married her, put them inside a house he is still paying for, and then she got pregnant, dude did everything right by the kid, give his name and all. ok...

But I know from this woman's sister that this guy is not the father, it is some dude she fucked while visiting her parents in another city 5 years ago...

Want to know the apex of cuck? Now she put the cuck out of the house and guess who came to live with her? The baby's actual father!

So now this fucking cuck is paying for the house he is not living in and will have to pay child support for a kid is not his while the actual kid's father fucks his ex. Oh yeah... also she kept the car...

USE A CONDOM! Always, forever if necessary, specially with fucked up, old, jabba the hut-like single mothers.

(PS: English is not my first language)

[–]omega_dawg93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

she could easily star in a daily soap opera.

i guarantee she orchestrated all of this from pure manipulation... knowing the true nature of all the guys involved.

this woman is dangerous to society. seriously.

[–]Huskimbo9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

..........jesus christ ,dude is a sucka.

[–]AGameofTrolls 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I know this girl who happens to be the sister-in-law of my best friend. She was dating this poor schmuck for a while and he got her pregnant. She then decides that she doesn't want to be with him tied up in a relationship, so she never tells him she's pregnant, gets an abortion and dumps the dude. Two years later she's in another relationship, this time with an Alpha Male and he gets her pregnant too. But, this guy doesn't want anything to do with her crazy ass and he dumps her. What does she do after that? She hits up her previous boyfriend the Beta guy, hooks up with him and about a week later she tells him: We're having a baby!!! They are now married and the guy doesn't have any idea he's raising someone else's daughter..... While he could have been raising his true kin if she hadn't aborted in the first place. Life is all about facts.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Too bad the title is lacking as your message should resonate with the boys trying to be men around here.

All the platitudes in the world regarding safe sex don't mean a thing when a woman will intentionally lie, cheat, and deceive to ensure her survivability (and her brood). As much as a man has desire to have sex, a woman's desire to have a baby is as strong. In this scenario, you got to experience the full gammut of the female imperitive: AF/BB, hypergamy, manipulation, shaming tactics, etc. Had she not gotten pregnant, you'd never know she was cheating.

At least you learned the truth and the lessons learned will serve you well for the rest of your life. Some guys spend a lifetime living a lie and never learn. Lift and make the improvements needed to move forward in a big way. You have a 2nd chance, use it wisely.

[–]ryalln[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I fucked up the title dw I know. I let myself get into a shit time and it takes a long time to even know your in it untill its over. Now, i can see guys in public who where like me, and even if I told them they wouldnt change. You have to want to change.

[–]tropzumuch 5 points6 points  (4 children)

One of the lessons of this is: no matter what you think she could bang another guy. Make a fathership-test when pregnant. Im sure there is the option to test when the kid is still in the mother’s womb, perhaps where she has to agree.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I'm sure you could also ask a nurse/doctor at the hospital when the child is delivered, this way the female won't even have to know about it and you get results early on. Everyone knows it's hers when it came out of her, but is it yours?

[–]EricAKAPode 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Feminists thought of that a long time ago, the mother's consent to the paternity test is legally required.

[–]JaYogi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So, when the baby comes out you'd still need permission for a Pat. Test?

[–]amekooky 5 points6 points  (0 children)

damn, man some of us bitch about how our ex dumps us and feel like this is the end of the world. this is at another level, wish stories like this were more resonated into kids in high school for example instead of SJW bullshit behavior.

[–]rundownweather 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I understood only about half of it, but it seems a shit situation. Best of luck OP, but get a grip.

[–]NullIsUndefined 3 points4 points  (0 children)

*loved doing shit with another man's son

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I watched my stepsister do this when she was only 16 years old. She had a boyfriend named Ben - a super beta guy, ugly as hell, but was there to make her laugh, etc. She goes to a party one night, gets drunk, loses her virginity to some alpha Puerto Rican guy. Becomes pregnant.

She must have hurried up and quickly banged her boyfriend right after. She then calls him, and tells him the news that "he" knocked her up. He believes it - who knows what his reaction was to the news. Looking back, I cannot believe I ignored my urges to tell the poor sucker the truth about what happened.

She got an abortion (her mom demanded it; I'm betting it was mostly due to the father being non-white). To this day, years later, that poor kid Ben probably still believes he was the father of that aborted child.

Some people are fucking sinister. Always get DNA tests.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hope you sue her for money.

Basically, at the moment she's gotten away with her shitty behavior. Women need to start being punished for defrauding men out of their paternity. She derailed your life to try and make her own easier.

I know it's hard because any money you get from her is taken from the kid --- but that's not your kid. And if having a kid means we can't go after them for cheating us, then all women will always have a ready made excuse. Particularly when it was because they were having a kid that they decide to defraud a guy.

We have to make sure women see other women getting punished for doing this shit, otherwise they'll never stop. (Just like the false rape accusations.)

Good luck out there, hope things work better for you next time.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dude, you dodged a bullet. You're not paying for a kid you can't raise. You fucking won.

Now learn to write and get better jobs, don't do more stupid shit. Fuck I wish my first ex had absolved me of support. I'd be very well off right now.

[–]DeepRedTomato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP you're a better man than I. My ego wouldn't let this go, I'd plan out her murder being caught or not, your ex was a parasite and piece of shit.

Good riddance and good luck on future endeavors. How u stayed sane is amazing.

[–]linchpyn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Friend of mine broke up with this girl, and the bitch figured out that doctor pregnancy tests look for the hcg hormone (or something similar) in the blood. So, she took some of that and brought doctor-signed paperwork showing she was pregnant, then said "see, let's just have unprotected sex now since I already got pregnant."

Very tempting offer, but my friend was wise enough to figure out what was up. Her plan was to get pregnant for real, and tie him to her forever. Be very careful out there.

[–]buddhadarko 5 points6 points  (0 children)

These situations are known to crush men and some of them don't come back from it and become alcoholics or something like that. Good for you that you were able to maintain a sense of reality and responsibility for your own actions. A lot of guys would start trying to shift blame or become so angry at the woman that they further complicate matters by giving her evidence of you being "unstable" or something of that nature.

Keep up the good work.

[–]DenyHerYourEssence 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women demand resources; men provide resources. This has been true as long as humans have walked the earth, and no amount of hamstering or feminization of society will ever change that fact. Even alphas provide something to women in the form of tingles. The keys for men are to recognize that they are in fact providing, to demand that they receive something that THEY value in return for those resources, and to realize that women deserve nothing by default (just for existing and being female).

[–]HeyGuysImMichael 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is there a correlation between poor grammar/spelling and unprotected sex?

[–]a_strategos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is no way to get that time back for you, but thank you for sharing to prevent others from having the same thing happen. Wisdom comes only from experience and reading, I'm happy to gain one from reading this time

[–]Cesare_MA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God damn dude do they not teach grammar and sentence structure where you come from

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this

[–]MisterRoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that's so fucking disgusting, it makes me wish we still lived in the good old days. That fucking whore literally deserves to be stoned to death for making you waste time and resources on a child that's not yours.

[–]PIQAS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is fascinating that if this story would be posted on a feminist subreddit, they would still take his wife's side. And i see no equality in here.. poor OP did so much... well, I believe in karma, she will get what she deserves sooner or later or already pays constantly the price. This leaves me speechless.. it's really such a big fuckery. OP you will find one day the woman that will deserve you. Your ex-wife is ashamed for sure, but usually people when are in such deep shame they tend to lie themselves and still blame some things on others, even if they were clearly the root of the problem. Life is short yes, but in the same time we can say life is long too. You still have a long way to go OP, keep walking!

[–]banjew 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here's a father that after knowing his kid is not his biological son, he fights to see him and get him back. This is real fatherhood and real love, people don't understand that we men, as brutish and savage as they portray us, are able to love any child and become a father of him on word alone.

[–]evolveto 1 point2 points  (7 children)

With time and discipline you will get stronger!

Your story reminds me of my years being a dad at age 23, I raised a child for 1.5 years, who was not mine, though she knew ..

Whats worst is, I actually married the same girl four years later and now At 31, I am divorced crawling back from black hole to life, If I would not have found TRP , I would be the most beta person on earth! I still am a beta, but better, killing the old and building the new. Its a Journey...

[–]forgetful_storytellr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lose the exclamation points.

[–]ShavedApel 2 points3 points  (5 children)

You might be the most beta on earth.

[–]ItsNotShane 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Right? How the FUCK do you continue to date someone who cheated and had a baby that wasn't yours. I swear some of these guys should just cut off their dick and hand it over.

[–]ryalln[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The level of beta I was, was over 9000. I look back and go wtf was i thinking. So many oppitunities to go a different path.

[–]2CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Don't let them get to you. If everyone you are surrounded by - and that you trust - is telling you the same blue-pill postmodernist lies, then it can be extremely persuasive. I'm sorry it took you longer-than-ideal to discover the side of Strength and Truth.

31 is still young enough to start a family and get rich and successful and so on.

[–]ryalln[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

31 is still a few years off. only 28 :S

[–]sunbro29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck out there. You did good leaving her. Use a condom next time.

[–]UnskippableAd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ouch. Sorry to hear about your foot.

[–]averageredditcuck 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I take serious issue with this aspect of trp. It's realist vs liberal mentality (international relations/ prisoner's dilema.) Just assuming everyone is cheating leads to no trust and constant defection strategy. Both people ending up in jail for 5 years rather than 30 days and both men and women constantly cheating because they don't trust each other and never trusting each other because everyone's cheating. Have fun and bang hot girls and spin plates, but when the time comes, settle down with a sweet, smart, loyal 6 or 7 who's lucky to have you. The alternative is loveless one night stands and fuck buddies and never knowing what it's like to have human connection. Do you think you're still going to be spinning plates at 50? What'll you do for the last 30 years of your life with no wife or children?

[–]MisterRoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally want to have children, and agree that it seems like an empty life to just "spin plates" and focus on your career. What's even the point of being successful if you don't have any children? But I would rather die than raise another man's child.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just assuming everyone is cheating leads to no trust and constant defection strategy.

This is why you need social structures that impose serious penalties for cheating. But that's not cool, so the Boomers tossed them out.

And so here we are, dealing with the inevitable consequences...

[–]2CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Trust, but verify"

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage," Ben Franklin quoted, "and half shut afterwards."

[–]TermsOfColors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen examples of this, and I've actually heard women admit they knew the real father but went with the provider. Because the guy that knocked them up was a sorry ass with no prospects. I have a very low opinion of those women.

[–]matjoeh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I stopped reading after you said "she's pregnant, what do you do? Move out of the expensive apartment..." No mofo you get an abortion...

[–]Elbombshell -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Man, I know this isn't a 'funny' situation, but you maintaining a sense of humor about this, telling your story the way you did, is amazing. I'm a woman, btw, and I have respect for you man.

[–]Kotiee 1 points1 points [recovered]

You're a woman, girl or femine being? Don't get cocky, it's neither funny nor amazing. Unless we're talking about you. OP doesn't even care about your respect. I ain't know a true woman that waste time on male-target TRP. Go to hell.

[–]Elbombshell 0 points1 point  (1 child)

First of all, yes I'm a grown adult woman. Who frequents this sub, because (spoiler alert) those of us women who understand the same social constructs as trp men, look in from time to time.

Since when should I 'go to hell' for openly telling someone I admire the way they handled a horrible situation? Me saying I'm a woman, is attempting to discourage the idea that, just because one woman behaves so egregiously, doesn't mean ALL women endorse that behavior. I recognize it as wrong. And don't even awalt me because that's the single worst part of trp, to me. Did I have to respond? No. Did I want to? Yes. It's not about OP caring about my thoughts or respect. It's about people encouraging other people to move beyond the base emotions and learn to have self control and thus be in control of their own Lives. A man who wants respect earns it, just as a woman does.... by our integrity and actions. So quit hatin on women.... shit like this is what makes You seem weak... cause you want to put me down for being a woman and giving respect to a man's behavior. We all try to improve ourselves, this sub is about that, and it's on my sub list because my fiancé who died in a car crash in June subscribed to it. So I still get posts that show up and will always read them.