LTRWhat to do when your girl wants to hang out with another guy 1-on-1? ==> Demote to plate or dump immediately. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Senior Contributordr_warlock

This was a recent askTRP thread

We were driving and she was texting a chuck BP guy she worked with. I know him, we lift sometimes together. We all been out together with outher friends too. But he asked her to get tacos and she said yes (no date yet) but she’s willing. She didn’t hide it but didn’t tell me until I asked. To her “lunch date” means nothing serious and it’s just getting food. She told me he is like a “brother” and she would never do anything with. Should I let them go eat? I do trust her, but not the chuck taking her out because I know he’ll try to take her for drinks. Should I just let them go?


I once stopped by a coworker's office, said hi, told her she was fine (not really, but nice waist and booty) and suggested we hang out during lunch. She giggled and denied me claiming she had a boyfriend and didn't budge. But the point is, if she said yes, I would be the coworker in the situation outlined by OP. I was offering dick and if she said yes, it means she knew what I was doing and was open to the idea of Warlock Spunk.

edit: Example 2

Did some contract work for some woman once. I told her she was cute and asked if she was seeing anyone. She said 'yes'. I asked her out for drinks anyway and she gave me her number.

By taking this thought approach (or worse, she could have initiated everything), you can see if a woman accepted (or initiated) a 'hangout' offer from a non-family male (insemination offer), it means she was willing and probably will have sex with him given some time. His cum in her pussy. There was was zero chance of it being 'innocent'. This is not acceptable and there is no second chance. Silent demotion to plate or soft next. No explanation, EVER. Immediately find a new girl which you should already have in your phone pre-heated.

  • 1) She was texting him, which means she gave him her number and is using this line of communication for non-work related reasons, to 'hang out'.

  • 2) She was hiding it and wasn't calling it off.

  • 3) AND he knows you or has hung out with you? Nigga, please. This guy is trying to weasel his way into that pussy and she knows it.

A guy wants to fuck your girl, she gave him her number, used that number to secretly meet up and is continuing to do so even after, you, the boyfriend, found out?

Do not listen to any of that bullshit that comes out of her mouth to justify it. Women are not that dumb. They know what 'hang out' or 'netflix and chill' means. She's either open to the idea of sex, has had sex with him in the past, or is currently doing so. Doesn't matter your assessment of him. You know for a fact that if she goes out of the way to have lunch during non-work hours with him, he wants that pussy, and she's up for the idea of giving it to him.

Women do not meet up with men 1-on-1 while in a relationship for 'friendship'. You've been listening to women and bluepill folklore like you're not supposed to.

Q: So do you just let her go with him?

As one of the commenters said, you don't 'let her' do anything. She's made up her mind and wants to see him. A girl that values your relationship does what the girl did to me, deny their advances and makes no contact. She can go, but "no gf of mine goes out with other guys."

Any command on your part to prevent her will be viewed as jealous even though it's justified. She will double down on her denial and do it anyway, if only out of spite. Or she will agree and do it anyway, even with another guy (you said she couldn't go with that guy, but THIS guy is different because "blah blah hamster blah blah woman woman blah blah blah").

This is likely not her first "lunch" while with you.

Don't try to control women, it's a waste of time and you will fail. They're gonna do what they please when you're not around.

You know what to do. Now get to it.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 149 points150 points  (35 children)

Girls do this for a number of reasons:

  1. You're a beta and she needs some alpha dick, or
  2. The guy is higher than you on the SMP and hypergamy pushes her to upgrade, or
  3. She needs to build up her roster of options, or
  4. As with every girl, she thrives on beta attention

So this doesn't necessarily mean she wants that dick now. But that's not innocent either. That's just hypergamy speaking. The real problem is that in all cases but the last one, this is bad for your LTR. Actually the last one is not so good either. Spells trouble for the future..

If you complain about it, she can simply justify that she just "see him as a friend" and that you are "controlling" or "insecure". Girls will never get that you're simply trying to keep that relationship strong, no matter the excellence of your argumenting that point. For her, she's just acting her sexual strategy and your "opinion" is in the way.

I wouldn't automatically demote her on the spot. At least on the surface. I would consider that LTR done and over with, and plan my exit strategy.

[–]red_matrix 46 points47 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't automatically demote her on the spot. At least on the surface. I would consider that LTR done and over with, and plan my exit strategy.

This was what I was thinking too - LTR is done, no question. Side plate maybe for a while.

[–]Incitatus002 42 points43 points  (8 children)

If you don't want to demote or next her (which is probably the right thing to do) you can also try imitating her behavior and amplifying it. By which I mean: get yourself a "friend" too. Then tell the one who wants to see the other dude that you are very happy for her to do so, and that you were, in fact, looking for a way of telling her that you wanted to go out with your other female friend as well. Then make it clear that you're just friends, but contradict this by going somewhere which is clearly a romantic outing. This places the one wanting to see the other dude in a very awkward position. She can hardly now turn around and complain about you going out, without you pointing out the double standards. I would bet that she'd think about this and not see the other guy.

I did this once, with an LTR who wanted to go on a girls' weekend (a.k.a. cock carousel weekend) with a bunch of her single female friends. We both knew that they were going out to look for dick, so I acted very happy to hear about their plans and went about organizing a stag weekend with my mates, making sure she overheard me discussing with them venues where we could be sure of finding the best pussy. This, naturally, freaked out my LTR, and I got accused of wanting to cheat on her. To which my answer was: Baby, I trust you with the girls' weekend, so why don't you trust me? The hamster promptly fell off the wheel, and the girls' weekend never happened for her.

[–]alexclarkbarry 12 points13 points  (1 child)

"Hamster fell off the wheel" remembering that, killer

[–]KaiBlueAn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely killer. I'll try to if I'm not high by then.

[–]fruguy 1 points1 points [recovered]

That all sounds very passive aggressive.

If you have to resort to that bullshit, leave.

[–]PurpleDrank88 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. Nothing wrong with getting a roster of other females to hang out with in response, but you don't TELL her you're doing that in connection with her going out with some dude. Then you just look whiney and passive aggressive so the effect of your attempted dread game is nil because no woman dreads losing a whiney passive aggressive dude to another chick (or would even think the chick would be interested in fucking you)

[–]SomberRook 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hope you demoted her to plate. The fact that you had to pull that breeds justification.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When comfort is established in a relationship, fear must be used to maintain it.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Keep this shit simple, if your girl wants to spend one on one time with other guys she is a worthless whore and you next her or accept that she is just a plate (who gives a fuck what plates do). Never accept a woman who socialises with other men, that is another name for whore.

[–]AcidMal 8 points9 points  (0 children)

“If you complain about it, she can simply justify that she just "see him as a friend" and that you are "controlling" or "insecure". Girls will never get that you're simply trying to keep that relationship strong, no matter the excellence of your argumenting that point. For her, she's just acting her sexual strategy and your "opinion" is in the way.”

Very well said, I think reading this will help a lot of men, and women understand the dynamic more clearly.

[–]KawaiiHero 9 points10 points  (17 children)

Just wondering, how do you communicate that you're not a fan of girls continuing to talk to their 'guy friends'?

[–]Ketogainsmongoose 1 points1 points [recovered]

My very last ltr involved a former plate on my side and a beta orbiter on my ex's side. The plate was always the " monster in the closet" and was a steady source of dread.

One day the orbiter invited my ex to a party of his, when she wanted me to go, he withdrew the invitation.

She called me crying, wanting to go. I laughed and told her to go ahead, I don't care.

My frame was strong, I had abundance, and the dread reinforced it.

She knew if she fucked around, she'd be nexted. The plate was superior in every way. Well muscled, red hair, fit, beautiful, feminine, but she suffered from BDP which made it impossible to maintain a stable relationship.

But my ex didn't know that. She she came over and ended up sucking me off after she calmed down.

The important takeaway for me was women gonna women, and it's best to have options to avoid misbehavior: women won't often risk the loss of access to a high value male if the door is ready to slam shut behind them without a second thought. It's not in their nature.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Man it feels good to be around guys that get it too. That's why I frequent here, a breath of fresh air all too rare in day-to-day life.

Machiavelli in The Prince knew his shit. Fear, not love, is the ultimate motivator for keeping people in line. Fear for their life/family, fear of losing their job, fear of government crackdown, fear losing your benefits and attention. If you can have both love and fear, that's great, but if you must choose one, choose fear.

People will always try to do what they want to do at your expense despite having an agreement not to. Once they get comfortable, they test you to see if they can get away with more. People always need a reminder or an 'attitude adjustment'. Always have leverage and other options and be ready to execute. You're gonna need them. Life is one big power struggle. Nothing but chaos. Learn to get comfy in it.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Have you ever heard that there are a few scholars that claim The Prince is not a serious work, that he wrote it as a tongue in cheek satire? I had heard this when I was younger, but then when you read The Prince is becomes clear that no, this is definitely for real because it is fucking genius.

I started wondering how any scholar could actually believe this, and much later came to the conclusion that they must just be so blue-pilled that they can't accept the degree to which power, not morality, is the dominant force in human relations, which is quite a pathetic failure for a professional historian. The verb "Machiavellian" has taken on a negative connotation such that it basically now means immoral. To be Machiavellian though is nothing more than to be realistic. It is to see affairs as they are and to act accordingly. Feminism has spread because it offers women more power, not because the old way of doing things was inherently less moral. Sexual strategy, as we know, is amoral, but in behaving amorally you secure happiness not only for yourself but also for your woman, so in its own charming way it sort of is moral after all.

"From this arises the following question: whether it is better to be loved than feared, or the reverse. The answer is that one would like to be both the one and the other; but because it is difficult to combine them, it is far better to be feared than loved if you cannot be both."

Of course Machiavelli was talking about an absolute ruler of a state, not relationships. I would argue that to maintain the relationship it is absolutely necessary to be both loved and feared, because if she fears you but does not love you she can simply leave, unlike a 15th century Italian peasant.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Most commoners read The Prince and 48 Laws of Power to jerk off to in their Game of Thrones fantasy worlds, then put the book down and claim it to be just a funny naughty thought exercise. They deny it to feel virtuous and maintain their bluepill perception of hugs, kisses, unicorns, rainbows, and superheroes. Don't listen to academics, most of them are pseudo-intellectuals trying to justify their useless, bloated department to acquire funding. Read some of their papers some time ex: 'crypto-nazi-capitalism' and other nonsense.

You take the core ideas for The Prince and 48 Laws of Power, then apply them as necessary to your specific situation. It's called critical thinking. And no bullshit rationalization or excuse. "Because I want it" is the reason. Don't lie to yourself.

One of the most real pieces regarding Machiavelli application and philosophy I've ever heard...

"While you bullshitting niggas was dying and catching cases. Busting my automatics at motherfucker's in foreign places

Leaving no trace, they see my face and then they buried. Bitches die in a hurry, still I ride, I'm never worried

Mr. Makaveli tell me to ride and I'mma ride. Pick my enemies out the crowd, and motherfucker's die.

It's not the way I wanna live, my nigga it's how it is. Only real niggas stay on top (word up)"

  • Pac's Life by 2Pac ft. Ashanti, T.I.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'Pac had this shit figured out in 92!!

His interviews and lyrics provide Red Pill wisdom for DAYSS.

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (1 child)

// , I wonder, other than at national events, do you ever meet in person?

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People of like mind eventually find each other because they're attracted to the same goal and their journeys are in the same general direction which intersect.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 16 points17 points  (5 children)

You need to be the type of guy who doesn't just take shit and will walk out on undesirable behavior everywhere in life. Also she needs to know that you have options. She has to be scared of you having lunch with one of your side chicks instead of considering lunch with one of her options.

If she sees you take shit from your family, friends, work or even your fucking bank she will know you will take shit from her. If she has power in the relationship she will use it to set up a higher branch to swing to.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 19 points20 points  (3 children)

/u/KawaiiHero here's your answer. You "communicate" this to your woman in two steps:

  1. Being so high value she should be worried to lose you.
  2. Showing her, through your actions, and with coherence, that you do not tolerate disrespect, and that your normal answer to disrespect is your calm but immediate removal of your involvement in the situation.

If a girl, at any point, disrespects you, it means you have already lost her. Because it means she believed that either:

  1. You won't act on disrespect, or
  2. If you do act, that you're worth losing anyway

If you're currently with a girl who disrespects you:

  1. accept that the LTR is eventually doomed.
  2. plan an exit strategy.
  3. practice withdrawing your attention/time/involvment with every disrespect, as practice for the next girl.

[–]GrowBear 1 points1 points [recovered]

How do you handle a LTR that has some aggressive tendencies that her mother exhibits? There have been 3 times where she has physically hit my face/head - one playful slap for saying something "gross" around other girls that made them all giggle, two hits to the head - one time I was fucking with her and throwing rice at her or something, another was tickling her when we were climbing a tree. The first time I played it off, the second time I addressed it sternly, she has shown genuine regret every time and been driven to tears the third time because she says she hates letting that happen. I haven't experienced any other major disrespect other than minor shit tests, but I'm not sure what to do about the aggression.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

but I'm not sure what to do about the aggression.

That's an easy one, you move on. If this happens now, when in the honeymoon phase and she's on her best behaviour, it will get a swift turn afterwards. She doesn't respect you enough, and never will. Too late for that. So plate status and soft next, simple as that.

[–]fastnail 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you such a wimp that you take getting hit by a girl FFS!

Dump it...you don't need that crap in your life.

[–]buddhadarko 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good stuff.

Women respond to solid frame. They need/want that and that is why they constantly test men for it. A man with unwavering frame gives a woman the tingles and she can't resist. And, as you said, if you're high value, the dread game takes care of itself with little to no manipulation from you. She will be the one checking to make sure other females aren't getting to close for her comfort.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You do it by being extremely valuable and appearing to have an abundance of options.

If a girl suspects that there's serious competition for your attention, she'll be too busy keeping other women away from you to bother with "friendly lunch dates".

[–]suxxos 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The world TRP tries to create seems so boring and dull. Women are only allowed to see other women, and guys (once this rule becomes popular) only can see and talk to other guys, as the girls in relationships will never ever be available again to talk to them freely. So we'll basically have a muslim society soon.

I think it's much better for me to have women I can just talk to about whatever, that I don't find particularly attractive, but who are smart and experts in their subject (yes these women to exist).

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a quite a few female friends. There are the singles who I don't find attractive enough to bother pursuing. There are those in couple with my best buddies. There are those in couple whom I don't necessarily pursue, but whose partner should know better than letting them around single guys like that.

Among my friends are also single males, males in couple, couples, couples with kids, older people, work colleagues, and I just make friendly chat with just about everyone.

That boring and dull world you picture is not mine.

[–]Framefame 144 points145 points  (12 children)

Damn right, a female friend of mine was telling me how she's going swimming tomorrow with a guy friend who is "super hot". She told her boyfriend she was going for a swim with a guy and he really wasn't having it hahaha. She managed to convince him by calling out his "manipulative" behavior and shaming him for robbing her of her freedom. Her boyfriend eventually let her go and even apologised, poor BP guys.

Don't take girls' shit boys

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 112 points113 points  (3 children)

Swimming especially. This is the perfect way to wear beach bra and undies to show off her body and have more intimate kino with a shirtless guy in a plausible deniable, socially acceptable manner.

A woman will try to psyche you out by denying what is obvious and shaming you for it. Don't let people fuck with your mind.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don't let people fuck with your mind.

Instead, fuck with theirs, for pussy and profit.

[–]Snooze212 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Makes me slightly well-up knowing how much of a pushover I used to be. Praise the lawd for this sub and all the intelligent people in it. Girls are cunts, but it's in their nature, so you can't hate them for it I guess.

[–]mummersfarce_is_done 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They have cunts so it makes sense for them to be called cunts, just like they call us dicks.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

You have to have a line, that's for sure. For me, flirting is not the line. Flirting is harmless.

[–]JimiJons 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Flirting is the initiation of the mating dance. It is far from harmless. Flirting stokes the hypergamous imagination and plants the idea of tingles to be found elsewhere firmly in a woman’s mind.

If your woman flirts with other men, it’s because she’s wondering, even if only at a subconscious level, what it’d be like to fuck them.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If your woman flirts with other men, it’s because she’s wondering, even if only at a subconscious level, what it’d be like to fuck them.

I disagree that if a woman is flirting, they are thinking about fucking the guy. That said, I am not easily influenced by "dread." Of course women think about fucking other dudes. Still harmless. In my admittedly limited experience, when a woman I'm with is approached, engages and sees that IDGAF, she sees me as the superior male in that exchange. To believe that I could control anyone to the point where they wouldn't flirt when I'm not around is simply silly. If I've committed (which I'm trying to avoid now anyway), and she cheats, I'll show her the door and find the next one. As long as that's clear and I'm maintaining value, I'm not too worried. You have your line, I have mine. In my world, flirting is harmless. If she's initiating the flirting, that sounds like a lot more of a problem, but I don't expect someone I'm with in LTR to blow off someone who flirts with her. Women are constant drains for validation, this is no different. If you can't live with your chick getting unsolicited validation from other dudes, you're gonna have a bad time. IDGAF.

[–]JimiJons 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I disagree that if a woman is flirting, they are thinking about fucking the guy

They are thinking about it, even if it's not overt. The same brain chemistry that occurs when a woman is about to open her legs occurs when she's about to respond positively to an approach.

Of course women think about fucking other dudes. Still harmless

It's harmless as relates to your frame until she openly acts on those thoughts by being receptive to or initiating flirting.

when a woman I'm with is approached, engages and sees that IDGAF, she sees me as the superior male in that exchange

No, she sees that she's secured commitment from you at a high enough level that she can openly entertain approaches from other men directly in front of you without fear of losing any of that commitment.

If a woman openly flirts with other men around you, she's not playing dread-game. Women don't operate on a logically calculated basis for psychological manipulation, they are emotionally motivated. If she flirts with other men in front of you, it's because she doesn't respect you.

If I've committed (which I'm trying to avoid now anyway), and she cheats, I'll show her the door and find the next one

As you should, but this scenario has a much more likely chance of occurring if you tolerate overt hypergamous behavior from an LTR.

You have your line, I have mine. In my world, flirting is harmless

There is one world, and in it, AWALT. You need to remember this.

If you can't live with your chick getting unsolicited validation from other dudes, you're gonna have a bad time

Again, there's a difference here. Unsolicited validation is some guy coming up to your girl and telling her she's pretty. If your frame is strong and she's infatuated with you, her response will be "Thanks," or no response at all as she ignores him.

'Flirting' occurs when her response is, "You're handsome too."

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

super hot

Interesting turn of phrase, there, it is indeed.

[–]1SirKolbath 115 points116 points  (13 children)

A girl that values your relationship does what the girl did to me, deny their advances and makes no contact.

Two weeks ago I had an argument in this very subreddit with a couple of betazoid creeps because I stated that if I was out with a girl and another man started hitting on her and she did not immediately put a stop to it I would wish her a good night and leave without her.

It is amazing the childish insults and comments that these two clowns had for me for saying the same goddamn thing Dr. Warlock is saying here. One of those jackasses literally said, "What's wrong if she flirts a bit as long as she goes home with you?" The MC Escher landscape of their distorted thinking process even claimed that being willing to leave without her was not only beta, it was scarcity mindset... Because being willing and able to walk out of a relationship is somehow indicative of not having enough abundance.

Perhaps that now that an endorsed contributor has said exactly what I was saying those two half-wits will read the sidebar like I instructed them to do two weeks ago.

[–]TunedtoPerfection 28 points29 points  (8 children)

Because being willing and able to walk out of a relationship is somehow indicative of not having enough abundance.

... That is kinda the definition abundance and the correct amount to have. Once you get a response like this I find it best to just realize they are still in the phase where: "They think their situation is different.". You know kinda like women and equality. They cherry pick what parts of TRP they like and try to ignore and shun the parts they don't. All this failing to realize TRP is a set of observations that are shared, just because you don't like/believe them doesn't mean they aren't true.

[–]1SirKolbath 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Very true. And after a couple of volleys I realized they weren't going to listen or change their minds so I just blocked them so they would no longer distract me with their inanity.

You can lead a whore to water but you can't make her drink.

[–]Heart_of_a_Lion0414 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lots of beta apologists that think that way. Let them continue to be betas and be walked all over. They cannot be saved unfortunately.

[–]tokenblakk 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You next her. Now what happens when she inevitably comes crawling back to you?

[–]1SirKolbath 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You next her. Now what happens when she inevitably comes crawling back to you?

Um. I don't think you get how next works. This girl no longer exists.

[–][deleted] 194 points195 points  (6 children)

This is such as a sad testament of the state of the modern man that this question even has to be asked. The blue pill conditioning is so deep.

[–]EnlightenedViking 69 points70 points  (2 children)

Took me a couple years to realize...most of us know the answer to these questions in our Blue Pill state. We just didn't have the balls to make the decision that needed to be made

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Takes a certain amount of self respect to cut pussy out of your life. Even if it is a whore's pussy.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's the option to over think aka hamster. I constantly use the concept of "putting a gun to your head and tell me" now. If i put a gun to the askTRP op's head and said "tell me if you're happy about this girl going out with the dude" he will say no. He then has the answer, he knows his boundaries, but his option to over think what it all means is his downfall. And an opportunity for the female hamster to manipulate you into accepting her bullshit.

[–]42-AX 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I used to be in a similar position in high school. I made out with my recently-made-ex (because of the 'hanging out' with another guy) of the time in the parking lot in front of the other guy. He got pissy and that leeched to her. I wasn't gonna deal with it so I fucked her back at my place. Afterward with a smile on her face she said "don't fuck me senseless if you're not my man". From here on out I unfortunately ultra blue pilled it.

The moral of my anecdote: this woman had everything she wanted and needed (a prosocial & exciting partner with money) and yet still wanted something new.

Women will do what they want. Is it wrong? Not at all. There's nothing you can do to stop them. The idea that women are 'morally wrong' and need 'fixing' is blue pilled: stop trying to do that. So don't bother trying to convince them once they've made their mind. Simply say "I'm not going to waste my time, take care" and walk away. That same chick messaged me PARAGRAPHS for MONTHS for some forsaken reason for this same response I gave her.

Edit: A word

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 40 points41 points  (2 children)

Biz Markee lays it down.

Bottom Line: LTR worthy women know what the right answer is in such situations; meanwhile, attention whores crave attention.

[–]AllahHatesFags 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Excellent song! I remember first hearing it on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

[–]amekooky 29 points30 points  (4 children)

just next her, demotion is gonna be a bad choice. no half measures.

[–]boolNation 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Why would demotion be a bad choice? You still get all you want from her

[–]juliusstreicher 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Agreed. If she's now a plate, she can perform a plate's functions and receive a plate's reward. That being said, I, myself, would soft next, maybe hard next her, but, I can see the argument for demotion to plate status.

Further, I noticed in the OP that the chick didn't ask; she already planned it. When busted, she still didn't ask bf's opinion/permission/etc... just told him what she would be doing, with her reasoning. BF is going to be tasting Chad's semen very soon.

[–]sigma_fi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The precedent that you aren't going to put up with her shit is more important than demoting her so you can still get some pussy. You can't let anything slide, once they get a foot in the door, that's it. It's a giant snowball effect. Demoting will still convey to her that this behavior is acceptable and she will lose respect for you and start treating you like shit. Not worth it when you can still retain your self respect and just find someone else.

[–]ryan_mcdonuts 68 points69 points  (10 children)

Great post. I was burned in previous relationships by the "just a friend" meme. This type of shit test is the beginnings of her walking all over you. Make the boundary clear and if she crosses it move on.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (8 children)

No Kidding. The just friends thing is what ended my marriage (praise be to allah). They were just friends when she lied about where she was because she knew I’d be upset. She was just having a beer on his porch, though. They were just friends when she made out with him “for a few minute while drunk,” but of course she stopped him. They were just friends when I was devastated and heartbroken that I had been cheated on. They were just friends when she continued texting him while we were trying to work out our differences. They fucked the night she moved out. Now, they hate each other, I got a new job making six figures, and fucking girls 15 years younger than me, and she is begging for me back at least once a week. Women are ridiculous.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (4 children)

That must be so satisfying how the pieces fell. Wish I could say the same, but the guy she branch swung to is still better off than me.

But the rage still burns in my gut and there's plenty of fuel to keep climbing the ladder, but I'm getting there and have made great progress. They're engaged, so they both must be getting fat now. It's amazing how helen of troy women like this can inspire a man to strive for success. It's probably a blessing in disguise.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks, man. Keep that fire lit, man. Mine pushed me for a solid year, then suddenly I️ learned that I️ wasn’t the same person anymore. I️ wasn’t angry. I️ wasn’t hurt. And I️ didn’t hate her anymore. In fact, I️ even buried the hatchet one night with the dude she cheated with. He made a remark about how I️ definitely traded up (referring to the girl I️ was with).

[–]behindtheline40 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There has got to be a link in history to all great men that gained their greatness by getting burned by someone. Being their partner, family member etc. There has been no greater motivator in my life than the wreckage my last girl left me with.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the famous classical epoch, the Iliad, the whole reason King Menelaus brings the Achaeans, Argives, etc.. To battle the Trojans is because his thot wife Helen ran away to Troy to bang Prince Paris.

[–]xddm2653 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's probably a blessing in disguise.

It is. Nothing makes a man succeed like heartbreak

[–]beastmodeking 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Reading this made me full of rage, I was in a similar situation and my beta self at the time looked at her and me through rose tinted glasses. I made all the excuses. She's just grabbing a bite to eat with him, it's just Facebook who cares if she keeps liking his pictures etc Women I tell you ...

[–]unkg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The place you ended up is deserving of a big round of applause.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It’s a very straightforward boundary. She is too decline all advances because her alpha said so.

When I’m not around, my girl gets attention and invites for coffee, lunch, happy hour, going out, and study sessions at work and school. She is a high value female, courteous, educated, happy, and hot.

First month, I asked her what would happen if guys tried that in front of me. I answered my own question; they wouldn’t disrespect me, and she will not either. Guy-girl friendships are not tolerated.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Remember "She's not your girl, its just your turn"....now its that "another guys" turn

[–]Shift_Tex 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Man wish I had known this months ago. My gf at the time messages me saying she was going to get food and alcohol with a past lover but that it wasn't a date and that her friends were coming. I went along with it and didn't suspect anything. Turns out it was just them two and she cheated on me that night.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If the LTR benefits me, I'll just dread; if not, then maybe I'll demote and ghost, after awhile. Just depends on what you want, with the particular person.

[–]Endorsed ContributorWoujo 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Here is a fundamental rule about women all men need to understand.

Women generally only have eyes for ONE guy. You either are that guy, or you aren't. If you are not, nothing you do or say matters - leave.

Women that have several guys on rotation are either doing it because either:

1) none of those guys are the ONE, so she keeps a team so she can get a little of what she wants from each guy: one guy for companionship, one for sex, one for money, etc... or

2) The ONE will fuck her but won't commit, so she gets commitment, companionship, etc... from the other guys.

I guess it is possible for a woman to be in a relationship with the ONE and cheat anyway because she's just so fucked up, but I don't think I've ever seen it.

If you are not her ONE, leave. You may want to "demote to plate" but even that will be a pain in the ass because she will flake, only do shit when she feels like it, hang out with other guys, etc...

[–]fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I responded to that fool. It really is as simple as:
If she’s talking about another guy, to another guy, texting another guy, etc., she’s thinking about said guy.

If she’s thinking of him, it’s because she’s thinking about what she’s going to do to/with him, or thinking about what she’s just done to/with him.

Get her mind; get her body.

[–]pohw 1 points1 points [recovered]

Dump is a good move if he's positive he actually wants a solid, committed, exclusive LTR. If under 30 (years or n-count), I'd reconsider that route.

Demotion to plate is viable but she shouldn't know, nor should she know he's even bothered by her behavior.

Retaining her as LTR is possible if he really likes her (maybe she has amazing boobs or something), but large doses of well-executed dread game will be necessary to achieve this. Again, she can't know he's fazed by her behavior.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 46 points47 points  (6 children)

To be honest, demoting an LTR to plate after her transgression with another guy is more academic than practical. Some can pull it off, but most wont. Jealousy and feelings of loss will more than likely consume you. Soft next is best.

[–]pohw 1 points1 points [recovered]

I did it once, after a calculated decision that there was salvageable and difficult(if not tiresome)-to-replace value remaining in the relationship. I'm glad I did--she's cleaning my apartment right now in a pair of I <3 NYC booty shorts as we speak.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 2 points3 points  (3 children)

You are just delaying the inevitable, all while investing into the relationahip. Once shit hits the fan, and it will, you will feel much worse. Doesn't matter how calculated you were and if you expected it. And all because of comfortable and available pussy, meaning scarcity. I've been there.

[–]pohw 1 points1 points [recovered]

This is indirect pussy pedestal by assuming that other, better girls are out there that will be Loyal™ and have Class™ and Dignity™.

Heartbreak is a risk of long term emotional and sexual intimacy but, in my experience with many LTRs, it's worth it.

An LTR based on scarcity is not present when the male is regularly declining advances from females.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This is indirect pussy pedestal by assuming that other, better girls are out there that will be Loyal™ and have Class™ and Dignity™.

Lol. What? So if you want your woman to be loyal and classy you're putting pussy on a pedestal? How does that mental gymnastic work? Did you even read what this post is about?

Heartbreak is a risk, if not an inevitability, of long term emotional and sexual intimacy but is, in my experience with 5-6 LTRs, worth it.

Sure, but if the boat is sinking, you don't have to go down with it. I stopped romanticizing heartbreaks a long time ago.

An LTR based on scarcity is not present when the male is regularly declining advances from outside females.

Of course it is. Scarcity doesn't only apply to quantity, but quality also. You said it yourself that you think it's difficult and tiresome to find a quality woman like your girlfriend. That's scarcity. I don't even know her and I can say she is not special. Not to mention she did you wrong at one point.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cannot agree with this more. You pay a high price for those extra lays. Also, this strategy comes from scarcity. If you'd have other available pussy you'd have no problem breaking it off. It should be an indication in itself that you are doing somehing wrong.

[–]antariusz 7 points8 points  (3 children)

The problem is, there will always be other men that can temporarily display more alpha than you, because alpha is situational.

For example: I'm 35, in shape after a couple rounds of prohormones, 150k in the midwest, "decently" attractive. The real abundance mentality that only comes about after 200+ lays. I dated an 18 year old for the past year. After a year in a relationship with me, she ran into a 19 year old "unemployed" drug dealer to hook her and her friends up with some weed.

In different contexts, one of us or the other would always come out on top. He would be awkward and nervous in a suit at a fancy restaurant, I ended up losing her because she wanted "fun" and to "party" and I can't use drugs because of my job. Responsibilities are not "alpha" they are chains that make a person into more of a beta/follower of rules.

The problem is, if a woman isn't able to say that YOU are her ONE in ALL situations, then the relationship is already over, she just needs the opportunity to end it on her terms (with some other man's dick inside her).

You can never out-alpha all men at all times in all situations. And if she's shopping for other dick, if it won't be one guy, it'll be another.

[–]pohw 1 points1 points [recovered]

Well a lot of that is true. You seem to be stating, effectively, that "you might lose because she might go after someone else more alpha than you," but I don't see any other way to proceed. Lock her in a cage? Men and women will always have the option to upgrade or have affairs. Still, the rules of the game are set and there's plenty of abundance to be had despite the risks that you'll lose sometimes.

[–]antariusz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Or you have to acknowledge that sometimes women will cheat, and there is nothing you can do about it, and that while a LTR with only one particular woman is difficult if not impossible, you can have lots of LTRs with different women at different points in your life. If women get to slut it up at one point, and then settle down with a stable provider, it’s only fair to encourage men to do the same. Keep one woman on the side at all time. Keep backup options available. Do not devote yourself to only one woman ever. Find yourself a few dozen party chicks to slut it up for you, find yourself a reformed slut to pop out a few kids, don’t get married. And then once you’re through having the state rape you for child support 18 years later, go find yourself a chick 20 years younger than you so that you can celebrate financial independence again.

[–]3LiveAFTSOV 8 points9 points  (1 child)

The best possible solution for both is demote to FWB.

Maintain some of the intamacy, some of the fun, but ditch the exclusivity and ditch most of the lovey-dovey/bb behaviors.

I also think it's important to let the girl know tho:

"Babe, with the way you act, you cant be my GF. We're breaking up, but we can still be special friends if you'd like."

I've done that twice, it's worked. We stayed FWB's. They always tried to convince me I was the only guy they were fucking tho...

[–]juliusstreicher 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've done that twice, it's worked. We stayed FWB's. They always tried to convince me I was the only guy they were fucking tho...


"Babe, with the way you act, you cant be my GF. We're breaking up, but we can still be special friends if you'd like."

I wonder how this would play if used the minute one sees the text message, and when she starts in on her 'just friends' nonsense. It would seem totally uncontrolling, and let her know that you aren't falling for her shit, and would be laying a great foundation for the new relationship. IMHO. She might be taken back so much that she'd torpedo the lunch, and try to restore what's left of the relationship. Which would make her demotion all the more satisfying to the current bf.

[–]michasv 15 points16 points  (2 children)

if she's doing it then you started to fuck up way back. ask youself what is more important her or your self respect? no matter what i feel towards a woman if she wants to go out with another dude like that 1 on 1 she fucking out. she's done. she no longer has a pussy she has a dick in my eyes. if she was some kind of a fuck buddy then i'll give a flying fuck but a girlfriend? NE FUCKING VER.

you know what you need to do bro? you need to fucking dump the bitch without even explaining to her. just ghost her and then you'll see how she cancels the meeting with this guy and starts chasing your dick in circles. if she's doing this shit then she doesn't feel your masculine energy right now. she craves it and this guy acts masculine. and the masculine thing to do is to dump a woman who disrespects you and thinks you're an idiot who believes her stories.

in my opinion you can't even set a boundary in your situation because she wants to go out with him. if you'll try to force her to not go out with him guess what she still wants it. and her desire to do this is what needs to be your problem. you can't just tell her "you aren't doing this" because you'll appear weak and jealous and fail the shit test either way. the best thing to do is to charge her ass to the game.

an important thing that i understood recently is that you suppose to own her ass. you suppose to be her fucking daddy. her big poppa. her leader. her rock. you need to dominate her psychology. you have to be her authority figure. she needs to be kind of afraid of your reaction. she needs to feel that you are stronger. she suppose to be the one seeking your attention not the other way around. because she suppose to be the weak one. but this isn't whats happening. if she wants to go out with another guy then she has the power and your balls in a can. don't let that happen bro..

[–]cudder17 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This is what has happened to me recently, I dumped her, which I'm proud of. But it still pisses me off that I let it get to that point at all.

[–]michasv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it happens.. because when you overwhelmed by her pussy power you aren't thinking rationally.. has to keep it in mind constantly

[–]Nomfwic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Was in the same boat 4 years ago. She wanted to go out for a drink with a guy she claimed was a friend but barely knew. That night was the start of the decline in our relationship . Took me way to long to reach the conclusion that she was fucking him , dumped her and never looked back. So if she wants to go, let her. Infact, i'd encourage her ( shows abundance ) . Just don't be around when she gets back. Neeext!

[–]10xdada 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I blew up an LTR over this very scenario and had lingering doubts for years whether I did the right thing. Posts like this are really important for guys getting their shit back on track.

The worst thing an ex (on both sides) can do is cause you to question your instincts. When you don't know how right your gut is , and are stuck in the BP fantasy world, you think you might be an insane abusive asshole for drawing the line on her shit.

You may be, but at least not for this.

[–]bpjsdrp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At 26/virgin, first time I even dated anyone/had a girlfriend and that went on for 5 months......of no sex. A whole relationship and fell for the "I give guys 6 months before having sex with them." Lots of green flags but the few reds? I was blind as a fucking bat.

If it isn't for this shit right here, I'd probably scratch the itch to contact that woman I dumped earlier this year on the thoughts of maybe I went too far. Can't bring that garbage back inside, shits a mess.

[–]hawkeaglejesus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

[–]Hillarysdilddo_2016 8 points9 points  (1 child)

There has never been a point in human history where men and women were just friends. Unless the girl is busted ugly, and even then nasty dudes will still try to fuck. In the past women would actively protect their honor and reject advances from males but now we have progressed and with feminism it doesn't matter how many cocks they gobble so they will rarely reject male advances.

Anyway, in this situation OP OP should realize his girl has revealed herself as a scandalous ho. Proceed accordingly. He LTR'd this chick which means he missed the ho warning signs. This is a signal that he needs to improve his HODAR. Anyway, OP OP still wants his dick sucked and it ain't gonna suck itself. So. I'd keep the bitch around for dick sucking purposes, while increasing my game attempts to make sure more plates are lined up to replace the one that is on its way out. When she senses you drawing away, or perhaps finds hairs from another woman on your bed sheets she will suck your dick longer and harder than you ever thought possible. Also she will probably blow up at some point and talk about what an asshole you were after you two break up when she finally gets the hint.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Everytime a girl introduces me to a guy that's her 'friend', especially 'best friend' or is "like a brother to me", he's a beta simp or orbiter trying trying to crash-land on planet pussy. Every single time. Sometimes the guy is big and looks masculine, doesnt change anything.

Women are shit friends. Anything of value beyond sex that they can offer would not constitute a friendship, as in willing to hang out 1-on-1 platonically. Group female friends like in college is different, but that dynamic goes away when you're older though. If you try to be a friend, she will try to treat you as a beta orbiter. It's instinctual.

[–]StipplytheScrub 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Thoughts on possible exceptions to this rule? Obviously a situation exactly like this is a red flag, but I can think of a couple scenarios where it could be much more situational.

I have as a bystander occasionally seen one-on-one girls / guys hanging out either both with platonic intentions, or the girl has clearly already put the guy into a "friend zone" position. A lot of times it's some sort of long term friendship, they're family friends, there isn't mutual physical attraction. In my own personal case, one time I had a fling with someone, we both decided there wasn't a lot of mutual physical attraction (can't fully describe this more, but it was definitely mutual), and we've somehow been close friends for a while. There are some significant advantages to having the occasional close, platonic friendship with a girl as u/monsieurhire2 pointed out in this thread.

Just trying to open up some dialogue on when you would start to look for exceptions, since I believe there are a few.

EDIT: some phrasing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True, I have a few platonic female friends who are cute/attractive.. But I'm personally not that into them.

I think it's pretty easy to tell when your girl is smitten for another dude. A beta orbiter type or general true platonic friend probably won't set off alarms in your head. Just one of those go with your gut situations.

Either way, I think it's best to maintain frame and not let the situation get to you. If you get cheated on you get cheated on. Abundance and confidence helps here.. "Don't chase em replace em" etc..

[–]LordThunderbolt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you ever played Russian Roulette? Though you may die from that one bullet, there are also more chances of you not getting your brains blasted. Not the best game, but it's still fun. Try it.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I think a lot of people who come on here have been fucked over, through some fault of their own, or through bad luck. I think also, that a lot of people on here chase after women based on youth and beauty, and lot of those women don't have character, because they are constantly being prevented from developing it though spoilage. Just like betas are invisible to women, so their equivalents are invisible to men. But it is all relative, and most people are weak and corruptible if placed in the wrong circumstances.

[–]StipplytheScrub 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Huge fan of the line

"a lot of those women don't have character, because they are constantly being presented from developing it through spoilage"

I think this is spot on. It also correctly explains a lot of the gradient between girls who aren't sociopaths and girls who are. Going to internalize this one it makes a lot of sense.

Going off of that, I think if you can recognize a girl who doesn't have a lot of character and make a better decision on how likely a "i'm going to grab lunch with this guy" is an actual threat. Obviously yes, there's always some threat in that, but sometimes responding as if there is a threat is the most surefire way to make her think there is one.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ex that was always late, at one point, texted me, "But I'm beautiful!" as if that were compensation enough for her chronic not-okay lateness and other flaws.

Regarding plans with dudes, it depends on the dudes; if it is some unattractive beta orbiter, I'm ambivalent; if it's the local manwhore, well, there's being trusting, and then there's being a cuck. The only question is tactics. Initially, the ex liked it that I didn't want her having drinks, but towards the end, she started to demurr.

Girls in healthy relationships who want to keep their man shut you down very quickly. I was recently at an event; I was standing next to a fairly attractive woman. She didn't make eye contact with me; I kept waiting; but no eye contact. She was talking to a friend. No introduction was made; red flag #2; so I got impatient (mistake) and introduced myself. In my experience, every time I do this, it goes against me because it shows over-eagerness, impatience, etc. Also, I'm falling into the frame of the non-introducing party. The correct thing to do would be to allow 5 seconds for an introduction to take place, and if none is made, walk away. But I digress. Anyway, after I introduce myself, she finds a way to immediately mentions her boyfriend after saying her name, assuming I was trying to pick her up. Well, at least she didn't waste my time leading me on for 30 minutes for validation.

So, anyways, if the girl is into you, she won't want male friends unless they are beta orbiters that she can use for whatever emotional support you can't provide.

[–]Rollo_Mayhem3 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The question is "what to do?"

I'd say, do nothing. Especially don't display jealousy, controlling, or otherwise possessive/needy behaviors. If this is a LTR with exclusivity, you might want to take it as a potential red flag and adjust your game. Generally though it's about attention (because she is not getting her over the top and irrational emotional demands and validation met by you) and sometimes she is just prospecting to see what this new guy is all about. BUT because I know I have high value, the competition does not bother me. as someone said, she's someone's problem for that moment.

I take the attitude that I don't own anyone and anyone is free to do what they think is best for them. The only immediate cause for alarm would be if she did not come home that night or came home drunk OR if you are not living together, some sort of change in her attention and time spent with you immediately following this "date." Then you simply soft next and spend more time with another plate. IF she does not break up with you, she'll come around again, probably accusing you of something, complaining about something...then evaluate if you want to continue with this or not. If not, hard next.

[–]LordThunderbolt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What you believe and what actually is are too different things. You might see yourself as the chaddiest of Chads but to her you're just a beta. You dont say anything? She goes and fuck him.

Thibking you're hot shit that can't be touched makes it that much more humiliating when u find out you were getting cucked the whole time. Put your ego aside, take precautions.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She's not "your" girl any more....sorry..

[–]GOODLORD100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dump immediately. My ex girlfriend cheated on me with six guys - 4/6 of them were “just friends” and “she got too drinks and it just happened”.


[–]DreamingHarbinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its funny but its true: girl and guy hanging out, it is an insemination offer, got to see it for what it is. Whether it is accepted or not is another thing, but the offer is there and she is assessing him.

[–]Wissenschaft85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Simplicity is best. If she wants another guys attention, that will cost her your attention. Let her make up her own mind. If she chooses the other guy, move on to the next girl. Sometimes girls like this will come back to you at a latter date.

This behavior does naturally downgrade her to plate. Theres no point in trying to convince a girl to treat you as the center of her world. Shes will do so willing or not. Those that aren't willing are plates.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

If you need to ask this question, you're a cuck ffs

[–]Hillarysdilddo_2016 7 points8 points  (3 children)

To be fair blue pill programming is pretty strong. These "men" have known nothing else.

[–]BewareTheOldMan 9 points10 points  (2 children)

...blue pill programming is pretty strong.

Strong indeed. But after getting run through the "relationship meat grinder" a few times they will break out of the Matrix all on their own.

I was once the same. Many of us were, but what it really took to snap out of it was serious maltreatment and disrespect from the very women who pledged to love the men they mistreat.

When you constantly hear about how bad and toxic other men are, but never guilty of said behavior and still get slammed by women you come out of it "changed." It takes some time and many men have to go against their conditioning to get awakened, but it generally happens…hence TRP.

For me, the interesting thing BEFORE finding TRP was simply observing female behavior and learning from every experience. Some were trivial, but others were as serious as divorce, infidelity, and one event was possible jail-time for a false accusation.

When a Single Mother (with two kids) can go through the actions of falsifying official court documents that gets you kicked out of your home where YOU pay the bills, force you to have to find a defense attorney, have you spend thousands of unnecessary dollars, and almost ruin your career in the process – you come out of it a different person. That wakes you up. It’s why whenever I hear any allegation of anything from any woman I have the knee-jerk reaction of disbelief until the evidence proves otherwise. Jail time for any man is too serious for any woman to be making things up. Not only that, it hurts other women.

Anyway – that’s what it took for me…I have been different ever since.

[–]Hillarysdilddo_2016 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's a learning experience for all of us brother. im sorry you had to go through that but now you can share those learning experiences with other men. Maybe even change some lives.

[–]BewareTheOldMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do that exactly...share personal experiences and life-wisdom to any young man/man who wishes to listen.

I grew up as a Ward of the State/foster kid and lacked direct male leadership and mentoring.

That was a usable excuse the first few adult years, but once you're truly on your own the lessons come the hard way.

I'm happy to pass the knowledge and know other young men can use the information to make better life-decisions.

[–]reddick1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The answer in this situation is to start going on some 1-1 sessions with other girls.

[–]Johnnyvile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something I have realized with attractive women is that they are always “seeing” someone in a non serious manner. They do this for safety. They have some guy around for dates/sex so that they have some sort of relationship going on but he’s only there until something better comes along.

[–]jonpe87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What? Just the fact that this question was asked makes me feel bad.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Demoted. No questions asked. Most Women wouldn't be ok at all with you going out for lunch with a female friend. Enough said.

[–]tenxs 1 points1 points [recovered]

Maybe because here in Europe things aren't as bad (yet), but this is an element of TRP I have trouble digesting. A LTR girl can never have male friends and should never meet them 1-on-1?

Hell, most of the girls I hang out with have mostly male friends. They themself find 80% of women annoying af.

Ugh, I don't know guys... this one is not going down.

[–]dirtygarbage1974 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It's very situational. But girls can have guy friends. I had a girlfriend that was friends with some fat hick since she was like 6 years old. Family friend type shit.

Literally a brother. The fuck would I worry about that for. But if she's friends with some new guy and wants to hangout alone, c'mon. That's just silly.

[–]Phoenixtorment 3 points4 points  (1 child)

most of the girls I hang out with have mostly male friends. They themself find 80% of women annoying af

Everytime I hear this from a woman alarm bells start ringing.

Red flag.

[–]saibot83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whatchutalkingbout Willis!!!Europe is worse than anywhere.

[–]LordThunderbolt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Youre not legally obligated to accept anything we talk aboit here. If you believe that your case may be an exception, by all means go for it. It's good to have guys come back here crying saying "u guise were right" every now and then.

[–]CloudGuide 4 points5 points  (7 children)

Women do not meet up with men 1-on-1 while in a relationship for 'friendship'.

What? Women still meet up with betas for attention all the time. My ex-gf did it all the time. In fact I would encourage it. Takes her out of my hands for ages.

[–]PeggedByOwlette 59 points60 points  (3 children)

Ya until one of thoes "betas" actually turns out to be running game.

If you can't spot the fool at the table, it's you.

[–]buddhadarko 10 points11 points  (0 children)


A woman will not turn down an opportunity for attention, even from betas. The only exception is if the man she is with is extremely high value, and she does not want to fuck that up so she doesn't need the attention from another male, she can get it from her female friends.

Think of all of the "friends" women have in IG and Facebook. Some women have followers in the millions and it's all because of attention.

[–]yomo86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This might be the case, if she is not your girlfriend ie. committed relationship. Taking some twisted pleasure in a plates antics is nice but a girlfriend is judged differently. She wants to run the AF/BB game fine. Then be the AF/BB girl.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I can think of an exception... It is also the exception to "men and women can't be friends...."

Dance practice!

I have had several practice partners over the years. Some maybe wanted something, and the practicing was a fig-leaf, but one for sure, while she enjoyed my company and thought I was cute, had a serious boyfriend she was devoted to; at no point did I think she was interested in cheating. I think she liked the ego boost and the dancing, but that was about it.

That being said, many other practice partners have dropped hints, including some in serious relationships, but I ignore and friend-zone.

In theory, I don't see why a platonic friendship can't exist; I'm perfectly willing to be friends with certain women.... but only because they offer me value as dance partners, social proof, etc. That is because I have an abundance mentality. However, I don't trust women as much in that department, due to all the hints I received.

The thing is, once you have invested some time in someone, and they spring something like that on you, by soft-nexting, or nexting, you are ending the relationship to avoid mate-guarding or appearing to mate-guard, which may be an extreme response.

I had this situation happen in my last LTR which was pretty much doomed because the LTR was nuts, albeit, she hid it well enough initially. She initially respected my boundaries regarding certain dudes who wanted "drinks." But then there were dudes that were orbiters, who supposedly had no chance because she was using them for comfort, although one can never be sure. I began to next when she pushed back over hanging out with a guy I did view as threatening, but by then, the relationship was in its death throes. She was a poor choice on my part. My attempts to set boundaries initially seemed to turn her on, but then towards the end, they made things worse. Also, I had no moral high-ground, because as a male dancer, I have all kinds of female friends and orbiters.

Many guys I know in LTRs endure "friendships" between their women and men. And here is the real rub. Women and men are constantly being propagandized by the mainstream media that this is NORMAL. Since we are all gender equal and gender neutral now, and since we have infinite options regarding sex, everybody has cover to get away with every kind of infidelity under the guise of NORMALCY so they can fulfill their bottomless craving for MOAR, never being satisfied with enough.

[–]LordThunderbolt 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Have fun having your girl dancing sensually with dudes. Don't worry, it was the alcohol, or she didn't see shoe on the floor and just tripped and fell on his dick.

Why do you guys like playing stupid games like russian roulette?

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, yes and no.

If the relationship is solid, dancing with other dudes isn't a problem because the woman wants to keep her man, so she will not allow for anything that creates the appearance of impropriety to happen. That means, any dude that tries to steam it up, will either get the dance interrupted, or will never get another dance, depending on his level of advances made; i.e, if overt and slimy, an interruption and a minor shit-storm, or if plausibly deniable, no more dances, or if the dance takes place, then she won't relax, or will try to limit it, which then puts the guy off. How well the boyfriend has her trained is another factor. Also, the guy will have a steady stream of admirers to dance with, so it balances out. Also, lots of social dancers don't drink, or drink in moderation. The dance is the drug.

On the other hand, if the woman is a POS, yeah, it's only a matter of time before she branch swings to a dance-chad. But that is why you don't over-invest or commit too much; you just wait and watch the signs and make your decision. I have seen plenty of couples meet in social dance. The strong couples typically stop being regular attendees. When they go out, and they are more selective about who they dance with, dancing only with trusted friends, or not staying the whole evening, and always leaving together.

Social dance can also be a tension release valve, where people get simulated infidelity to keep them from straying.

On the other hand, as you said, one thing can lead to another.

[–]Hillarysdilddo_2016 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Since we are all gender equal and gender neutral now,

What's this "we" shit? Lol. If you're on TRP then you know the reality. TBP might buy that shit hook, line, and sinker but not here.

Also, I had no moral high-ground, because as a male dancer, I have all kinds of female friends and orbiters.

That's the way it's supposed to be. So you do have the moral high ground.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I mean, the media propagandizes most people to believe that, at least if you in an industrialized, urban area, and were sent for indoctrination at various education centers; the "gender equality" is for doubling the labor pool, and nothing else. Most jobs can be performed adequately by a person of either gender because most jobs are shitjobs.

With regard to the orbiters, my orbiters become a pretext for her to have orbiters, some of which can be actual threats, as in, she claims they are mere orbiters, but there is actually a possibility for an affair. In any case, all of these extraneous people are distractions from actually having a real relationship, which I define as two people with chemistry who have shared values and are working towards common goals, instead of just room-mates who have sex and are trying to maximize their individual hedonic experiences.

Anyway, she's a bad seed, so no matter what I did, it was doomed anyway; too many personal issues on her part.

[–]Hillarysdilddo_2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"gender equality" is about much more than that but I don't want to sound like a broken record so I'll leave it at that.

To your second point people are free to define the bounds of their relationship as they see fit. I agree something deeper, more intimate comes from a trusting LTR. But in my opinion males were never meant to only have one female. So it's not just about hedonism (it could be like that in hook up culture) but essentially if you have a relationship with more than one woman I see nothing wrong with that.

As far as your woman saying she can do it as well, well that's when you make it clear it isn't going to work that way. The majority of women don't come back with "if you do it I can too" because they want strange dick. The majority say it because they are too simple minded and think that it is some valid argument. It is not because it is predicated on the precept that men and women are the same. Women want a strong man. Men want loyal women. That is why polygamy has existed for all of human history.

[–]BuyNaturalMeds 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The answer is simple. Just fuck the hell out of her at least 4x a week and her pussy can’t handle any more dick. Problem solved, don’t worry about other dudes, do your job period.

[–]LordThunderbolt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How tiring. You must not lift. Can you imagine not being able to fuck her 2 times oit of thsoe 4 times one week? She' ok be getting railed by Chad. It's like owning a full grown wild tiger in your NYC apartment, exvept you always have the beast sedated regularly. Who knows what might happen if you run out of sedative in an emergency? We know, you'll get destroyed by your tiger.

You're only masking the problem by doing that. The key is to not have the problem in the first place. Get rid of the tiger.

[–]reydemierde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"bye felicia" is pretty much all that needs to be said to her

[–]Virgin_Elf_Master 1 points1 points [recovered]

Preface, this is unrelated:

So what happens if you and your gf are in a career where networking over lunch/drinks are a necessity? (film/media/music) basically hollywood life?

Do you ghost her if she gets lunch with a producer? director? editor? coffee boy? Where would you draw the line? How do you draw the line between your own personal insecurity vs. her own non-sexual business prospects?

I realize this isn't very much related to your post, but i'm curious to your thoughts as this is an extreme tangent to your line of thinking

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Women + hollywood life = cock carousel 9000. Don't have any advice, but don't be surprised if she has any extra curricular dick activities.

[–]Virgin_Elf_Master 1 points1 points [recovered]

gotcha. No LTR's for the rest of my life then

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The more you learn about women, the more you experience women with open eyes, the more ridiculous it seems to place appreciable investment into LTRs.

[–]Hillarysdilddo_2016 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Lol have fun tasting weinsteins jizz next time she kisses you hello.

Seriously though some industries are known for being fuck fests. Proceed accordingly. Ie don't get too attached.

[–]LordThunderbolt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Why would u entangle yourself with a girl like that in the first place? That's lile committing to a girl who's in the military or is traveling all the tike due to work. Pick your battles carefully man. There are some situations that you shouldn't even think about getting yourself into.

[–]newmeforever 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's a tough call -

In the situation outlined above with a co-worker it makes sense to just let her go and dump her.

But, with my current LTR - she's from the Philippines and has old male and female friends from her childhood visit her in the states all the time.

She tells me she's going out with these people and I don't bat an eye. Mostly because I trust her, second of all I'm just glad I don't have to tag along.

Different situations call for different outcomes I suppsose.

[–]prodigy2throw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surprising this even has to be clarified

[–]Bear-With-Bit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I go for girls even if they say they have a bf. Don't ever use the word date. Just hang out, drinks, talk. Ideally at my place.

[–]Iknoghostmagic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You really only have a few options let her go and demote her to plate.

Tell her that you thinks it's inappropriate and her hanging out with other men alone is a deal breaker for you.

I mean there's exceptions if it's a professional capacity that's different or if he's gay.

It is possible for women and men to be just "friends" but it's very situational,

I have grabbed drinks with female business partners after a deal or a meeting and there was nothing sexual about it, but I'm also not calling them just to chat or hangout.

[–]Damien_Scott 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Years ago, in my first real relationship, my ex was talking to a friend of her ex. She had told me he had expressed interest in her amd wanted her to come drink with him in his hotel room.

This was the only time i have ever told another person that they could not interact with someone else. She was fucking livid. She couldn't grasp why I wouldn't give her an OK to go. I knew they would fuck if she went and had to spell it out for her. She was so caught up in her own game she couldn't admit the reality of the situation. She didn't go as far as I know.

Then again, the first time she went to a bar without me after turning 21 she made out with a skeezy fucking albino dude. That red pilled me pretty quick and i dropped her and the abuse after 5 years.

[–]SculptingMarble95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LTR no chance ...keep the bitch on a P&D basis let her do whatever she wants

[–]1Entropy-7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Giver her enough rope to hang herself with.

[–]1Shadowsduh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I even have recent post on the matter. All it takes is a chance at a guy who makes her tingle.

[–]BuyNaturalMeds 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How tiring it is to fuck, is that what you’re saying? You might be the one who isn’t lifting enough if you think fucking is too tiring.

[–]FiggsideYakYakYak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so sad that this is the only place you post besides self-promoting your drug dealing.

[–]Pogodick8in69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell her to talk to more guys. Laugh. Say we’re just talking. She fill in the gaps. Give her zero info.

[–]1v1crown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ab. so. fucking. lutley.

Demote immediately.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You must be a wizard man. I have been dealing with this very thing for a while. GF loves to talk to other guys and get their numbers. Using the phrase we are just friends and you are jealous. The blue pill says to let her do her thing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Attention whoring. Whether she cheats or not is that the type of person you want to share your life with? One that needs the constant attention of other men to feel validated?

Really it comes down to being dope enough that she feels validated enough because you're with her. Sadly, because of today's thirsty hordes of betas and the easy access to that validation through tinder and social media, for many of these women you'd have to be top 1% to be able to provide that level of validation.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yea I really needed the wake up call from this thread.

[–]LordThunderbolt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So you broke up with her right

[–]WestyWorld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best strategy I’ve found is to shift your attention away. Tell her “Ok cool have fun” in a non-butthurt way and then don’t text or call her. If she calls you, you can respond. Until she apologizes on her own or makes a strong effort to make it up to you in some clear and identifiable way, you pretty much stop putting any effort into contacting her.

[–]3LiveAFTSOV -3 points-2 points  (17 children)

This happened to me.

Promoted a girl from FWB to LTR (open on my side closed on hers)

Within a week she informs me that she was hanging out with her Ex-Boyfriend, play wrestling with him alone 1 on 1 in next to the pond under the night sky.

I dumped her ass quicker than she could could cry muh-soggy-knee

It's been a month, I let her back a week ago to have her help me with a film project, and then once I complete the project and enter it into a contest I'm gonna hard next her and see what happens. This is after I said "dont worry babe I forgive you it's ok I love you again" LOL.

This is gonna be so funny.

  • Future field report : Tires slashed by Cheating Ex GF

Edit: I think it'll be funny cus I've been planning this, and I suppose she senses my plans cus, every time we film she says "You're not gonna dump me right after we're done with the movie right?" Or "I'm sorry I get so defensive I just dont want you to ditch me after the film."

I'm like "Of course not babe..." LOL

[–]Morphs_ 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Explain how your behavior is making the world a better place..

[–]3LiveAFTSOV 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Who said I was trying to make the world a better place ¯(ツ)

[–]juliusstreicher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Explain why he should give a flying fuck.

[–]UnserviceableBalagan 1 points1 points [recovered]

Future field report : Tires slashed by Cheating Ex GF

This is how you get rape accusations.

[–]juliusstreicher 0 points1 point  (3 children)

This man. We can ALL learn from him!

[–]iLLprincipLeS 1 point2 points  (0 children)


One of the best the red pill users this year, he should be endorsed.

[–]StellarMemez 1 points1 points [recovered]

That's just being a piece of shit actually.

[–]3LiveAFTSOV 8 points9 points  (3 children)

aw a wee little blue baby with morals, who ignores the fact that a female cheated, stepped out of line and crossed a boundary and instead focuses on shaming the male using that situation to his advantage


[–]StellarMemez 1 points1 points [recovered]

Chill out. mindfulness. Less extreme emotional manipulation and lying is a great way to not get murdered in your sleep, which happens IRL. What are you gaining from lying to that extent? You're coming across as petty and angry.

[–]3LiveAFTSOV -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Petty? Hell yea lol.

I'm getting what I want - A free and compliant actress.

also umad bro

[–]jNSKkK -1 points0 points  (4 children)

For me, this is a bit of a blurry line.

I've been fucking a girl for a couple of months now, she has a guy friend whom she's grown up with (their parents are friends). She refers to him as being 'like a brother'. During conversations we've had about him she's explained he's had a very hard life - battling for custody of his daughter and basically being fucked over by some BPD-sounding chick in a past relationship that's left him scarred from dating.

I think that in a lot of cases, yes, the female may be attention whoring, seeking attention from beta males, but what about the case of a long-time friendship such as this one? Is this me BP-hamstering this away or does anyone other than me think that it's OK for a female to have male friends as long as you've met him and can see the dynamic they have? Surely not EVERY guy a girl hangs out with, she'll be fucking?

She's expressed the potential of entering an LTR with me, to which I generally reply 'we'll see' and proceed to initiate sex. I'm having a hard time weighing this one up because she literally does everything for me - cooks, cleans, drives me places, picks shit up for me, etc.

Does anyone else share the same opinion as me? Do I consider this or keep her at plate status?

[–]LordThunderbolt 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Don't entangle youraelf with girls like that.