Red Pill TheoryThings You Should NEVER Say To A Woman (Red Pill Edition) (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

TL, DR : No white-knighting, no "chivalry", no romantic platitudes or relationshippy stuff

You've probably already encountered such lists on men's blogs and magazines. They keep shoving Blue Pill bullshit down men's throats and try to present it as some kind of relationship advice. The rationale behind them revolves around not offending the woman.

I mean, you shouldn't offend her for the sake of being a jerk, but look at this insipid shit or this. This one even suggests that something you should say to a woman is : "I'm sorry!".

Society raised you to act beta and say the most beta crap to woman. It isn't sufficient to adopt a Red Pill mindset, you need to become aware your communication habits with women and deliberately change them.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun if we made our own list of things NOT to say to a woman. Basically shit that the betas tend to say a lot. You can obviously use your discernment to decide when it's okay to say them, but generally I'd avoid them. So here I'll start and feel free to disagree and add more in the comments.

You are gorgeous/beautiful!: This has got to be the most popular beta-line. It's become the norm for even average girls to hear this compliment from thirsty betas, who then get pissed off when the woman accepts it. Do not compliment a woman on her looks lest you become one of her Instagram fan boys beta-orbiters. If you ever want to compliment her, compliment her on some skill (such as cooking).

Can I take you out some time?: This wording makes me cringe. It's essentially akin to asking for her permission to feed her and spend money on her. She'll immediately categorize you as a beta provider and withhold sex. I once heard a buddy ask a classmate out, she said she had plans with her girlfriends (because she was obviously not interested), he insisted and told her "I want to feed you!” lol. Betas say variations of this all the time. Avoid.

So...When's your birthday?: Are you planning to buy her a gift? Do you wanna analyze her horoscope? Nobody gives a shit what day she was born. Let her be the one asking you these feminine questions.

Yes! (I'll be happy to): A lot of women will outright ask you for favors in the beginning of the "relationship" as a shit test or to take advantage of you. You need to firmly turn her down, DO NOT DO HER ANY FAVORS, REPEAT: DO NOT DO HER ANY FAVORS.

I'm sorry: Women don't apologize for shit, and when they do, they don't usually mean it. They try to justify or blame on circumstances or even you. Society is teaching men to be apologetic to women for no apparent reason, make sure you're not falling for it.

Do you need help with that?: Don't carry her fucking bags, don't fix her fucking flat tire and don't do her math homework. Let the betas do that. You can't fall for that "damsel in distress" act. It's pure manipulation.

Do you have a boyfriend? (or are you single?): Are you trying to wife her up? Her relationship status is none of your business. If she didn't mention anything about a boyfriend or husband, then she's either single or looking to branch-swing. This question will make her believe you're interested in monogamy with her. Beta move. She should be the one asking you this (which is a massive IOI btw.).

You hurt my feelings: shaking my head I've heard so many guys say this. She shouldn't have that much power over you in the first place. Just dump her ass and move on.

Why don't you like me?: May be, just may be...because you're a nice guy?

You boyfriend/husband is a lucky man: really? is he?

you deserve better: She probably doesn't.

Oh :( you didn't deserve that: She probably did.

I apologize for my gender : She brought those dick pics upon herself.

I have a surprise for you: no no no please don't buy her any gifts and don't attempt any grand romantic gestures.

You're the first woman to make me happy: fuckin lol

Will you be my girlfriend?: or variations like "Am I your boyfriend now?", "what are we?", leave the relationshippy stuff to her, it's easier that way

Ladies first!: Fuck this, I hate this try-hard "chivalry" more than anything, I once had a sad white-knight chump try to lecture me on how to treat a certain "lady" because I was busting her balls. Please never say these words. Don't open doors for her and don't let her go in line before you, and don't give up your seat on the bus unless she's old or disabled.

How many guys have you been with?: Are you insecure she'll compare you?

Who's that guy I've seen you with?: You know what, don't even acknowledge that other guys exist. Jealousy is for betas. Leave it to them.

Do you like me? or Do you think I'm attractive? am I your type?: Don't EVER ask her what she thinks of you, don't look for validation or approval, and don't fish for compliments.

I love you: What is the point of this "confession"? what are you trying to accomplish? You want her to mutter these empty words back to you? Your feelings have zero effect on how she feels about you.

Will you marry me?: Is she rich or something? What am I missing?

What's your list?

EDIT: BTW I meant this list as a guideline, especially for beginners. NOT that you should actually never say these things. USE YOUR BRAIN to decide when it's appropriate depending on the situation or the woman

[–]Do not send modmail to my personal inboxCrazyHorseInvincible[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Getting a lot of whiny reports on this one.

I've looked at it. It stays. Get over it.

[–][deleted] 429 points430 points  (30 children)

Oh you are 17?

When's your birthday

[–]WelfareWarriorZ 63 points64 points  (15 children)

Uhg I had a chick play some dumb shit pretending she was 19. I let her have it when she confessed. Fucking be careful guys.

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points  (14 children)

I banged a girl who was much much much younger than she looked. Watch out homies.

[–]plainposter 8 points9 points  (1 child)

yeah me too.. no fucks given tho that asss was NIICE

[–]hugaddiction 20 points21 points  (0 children)

until it gets you locked up for some bullshit drama you dont need

[–]MikeN_ike 11 points12 points  (3 children)

As a 17 year old I came this close to fucking a 13 year old who's body and face literally looked like she was fucking 19 or something. Glad my boy tipped me in on it.

[–]juliusstreicher 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Glad my boy tipped me in on it.

You backed off, then HE fucked her!

[–]Imscubbabish 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The ol she 13 and he hit it trick.

[–]Mukato 10 points11 points  (0 children)

the only valid use of this one, lol

[–]goldenhourlivin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pour one (actually like eight-ish) out for old blue pill me

[–][deleted] 197 points198 points  (25 children)

This was pretty funny.

Do not compliment a woman on her looks lest you become one of her Instagram fan boys beta-orbiters. If you ever want to compliment her, compliment her on some skill (such as cooking).

I remember reading somewhere on this sub that when you compliment a girl, always start with "I think" so that you're not saying she is objectively cute, but that you find her cute. Been following that advice ever since and seems to work pretty well. Don't shower her with those, but a well-placed compliment of your opinion on her looks seems to work well.

[–]SovereignSoul76 93 points94 points  (6 children)

always start with "I think" so that you're not saying she is objectively cute, but that you find her cute.

This is the shit that keeps me coming back here....

That's a good fucking insight, man.

[–]1YouLoveThisBTW 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Agreed. I wish this sub had more examples in it. I get the theory hands down. I want to hear examples!

What would be great is more posts of tinder conversations or text convos from right after the numbers close.

[–]youkickmyd0g 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Make a sidebar worthy collection to have your wish come true. Easy enough to find examples and link back to OPs, for example

[–]rigbed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

More guys need to take risks and get laid first.

[–][deleted] 157 points158 points  (8 children)

I only compliment her physical attributes during sex. Pavlov's dog.

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points  (3 children)

Compliments can be an easy way to establish man-to-woman though (make it clear why you're talking to her). Say you see a girl on the street, being direct can work well depending on where in the world you are.

In that case, there is a big difference between 1. Hi, you're cute so I had to come say hi 2. Hi, I saw you and I thought you were cute so I had to come say hi

Even during sex, I think it stimulates her emotions more to hear you say that you love that sexy ass of her's rather than just saying she has a sexy ass.

It's 90% vibe though.

[–]whatifitsfun 98 points99 points  (2 children)

"Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?"

[–]LordStoffelstein 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omfg lol. I haven't heard this in hekka long

[–]plainposter 7 points8 points  (0 children)

ohh pavlovian conditioning works SO WELL. reward behaviour that suits you, with your affection like a kiss or slap on the ass, and punish behaviour that you don't like, by crossing your arms or ignoring her, or hiding her cell phone so she focuses only on you, or telling her to get out of your house. super effective, drives them absoluutely crazy. i suggest everyone try it with at least 1 girl

[–]42-AX 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Making a first impression with an "I think" statement about her appearance has left women hungry for another one of those in my experience. They end up prettying themselves up and basically throw themselves at you if you use it wisely.

[–]Blackhawk2479 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Mark Manson’s (Models) take on compliments is pretty much spot on - the compliment itself is not so important, but where it comes from is:

High SMV alpha guys complimenting girls = tingles

Low value beta guys complimenting girls = “ewww, gross”

Use your compliments wisely and strategically, gents.

[–]tropzumuch 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Or in other words: SMV the fuck up

[–]cBIGONE 21 points22 points  (0 children)

To extend this, i would say "i think your cute, so I wanted to say hi, and see what else you are about". This implies looks isn't going to give her a free pass

[–]Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin 20 points21 points  (1 child)

If you wanna have fun with it say "I don't know about other people but I think you are cute"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is some really good advice I’ll keep this in mind

[–]ep1939 200 points201 points  (10 children)

"You boyfriend/husband is a lucky man: really? is he?"

Fuckin screams feminine cuckold.

[–]Lullababy9 1 points1 points [recovered]

Can agree, nothing more annoying as a "Are you single" question

[–]Lefort3000 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its a prime example of putting pussy on a pedestal.

[–]tonyfaulkner 64 points65 points  (5 children)

Bleed but do not show it. That's the best way of summarizing it, and to be honest as men we are nothing if we are not strong. We may be born a male but we cannot be men without having strength oozing from us. Thank you for your list, but to be honest, thank you for the point hidden in all these kinds of messages: Be strong and firm.

[–]whatifitsfun 30 points31 points  (4 children)

That is the definition of TRP to me.

Bleed but do not show it.

It was painful to accept that you can never show vulnerability; never be intimately sincere. But if there is something that distinguishes a man from a boy, then it is exactly that - the will to be the one who does things, instead of the one who is seen doing things.

[–]menial_optimist 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I don't know how far to take this. No woman wants to be with a guy who is an emotional robot literally never showing anything. Then again the opposite, being an effeminate emotional tampon is equally big a turn off. I think the ideal women want (and we should want) is a balance. Maybe 75 alpha 25 beta for instance.

Men have emotions too and they are important. I refuse to go back to a pre-1950s level where men were just supposed to never cry and bottle everything up. Thats why you had guys who would drink whisky on the daily.

[–]salemlax23 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I think it's more of a goal to aim for rather than a hard rule to show minimal emotion. There are always emotions that will be too strong to suppress, namely that of extreme happiness or satisfaction. These are positive emotions that make a guy look good. I believe the goal is to suppress negative emotions and deal with them internally, rather than having them spew out like a faucet.

If you aim for 100/0 and slip to 75/25 then you're golden, but if you're aiming for 75/25 and slip to 50/50 that's not where you want to be.

I agree with your 75/25 idea, but I think that should be the acceptable emotional leak (not sure of better wording) rather than the goal.

[–]menial_optimist 8 points9 points  (1 child)

100/0 is not ideal. Suppression of real emotions should not be the objective. Rather, control of or understanding of emotion should. If you think 100/0 is going to work in a LTR or marriage relationship you're dreaming. Unless your some kind of dark triad master who has a woman in a kind of "beaten wife" state 24/7 100% of women are going to leave if you're 100/0 100% of the time.

[–]salemlax23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wording was probably poor, it's difficult to use definite quantities when discussing something that doesn't have defined quantities (emotions).

I agree with you that 100/0 isn't ideal, that's not what I was attempting to say. Throwing out the percentages, the gist of what I was thinking is that you should aim high because you're going to fall short. Body language, attitude, etc. are going to give away emotions when you don't expect them too.

As you said (and I have poorly attempted to say) control of emotions is the goal.

[–]Mixuh 98 points99 points  (20 children)

I agree on everything except one, helping with some things you're capable of. For example fixing the flat tyre or carrying heavy bags etc.

This is from a LTR perspective, women like it when you fix stuff and do any masculine productive activities that benefit them. Just never let her take it for granted.

But don't go being a manservant for a woman you're not in a relationship with, that will never end well.

[–]cBIGONE 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I agree with you. IMO the best way to handle the fix a flat tire type of situations is to get her to do something for you. "I'll be right over to fix the tire babe, im hungry so have dinner ready",or something to that effect.

If you get something like "I'm not your slave" or snarky comment, simply agree and amplify.

This way you are masculine, and putting her in her feminine role at the same time.

Edit: to add to this. Don't be afraid to ask her to do things for you. Women do this all the time. In the end it's mostly about balance, and trying not to over think every little thing

[–]allala93 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Don’t go being a manservant for a woman that you are in a relationship with. I cannot express how wrong that will end up.

[–]TurielD 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Absolutely, never demonstrate manliness or strength. Wouldn't want to turn your girl on now would you?

[–]Mixuh 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Showing masculine traits and being a servant are two different things. You can reward women with forementioned services. But I've seen this situation too often: A guy keeps changing her every light bulb, relocating her furniture and assembling her new bed where she fucks another guy later the same evening.

Showing masculinity by doing masculine activities is good, but it should be a reward for her feminine activities such as cooking, cleaning, giving head etc.

[–]TurielD 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of course they're different. But if you're being cucked in an LTR there's more fundamental issues than carrying the groceries

[–]mummersfarce_is_done 26 points27 points  (13 children)

Yes but be aware! Upon meeting new women, if they like you they usually ask you to carry some stuff for "innocent" reasons. You might think "why not help someone in need?". Do not fall for it!

[–]InstigatingDrunk 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I think the point here is to act nonchalantly and do it because its your choice. If she asks again, you can just say no. Sets boundaries. You don't want to scare someone off and seem like a jerk.. yet lol.

[–]mummersfarce_is_done 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I've found it to be one of the stupid ways they test men. So just be a jerk about it and see their reaction. You will not gain anything by helping them, but by being an unreasonable jerk...

[–]youkickmyd0g 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Right down to curious little 6 year olds. Funny. Make them say the magic word. Adapt slightly for older women if needed. This is kinda dominance/boundary testing that is natural. Kids feel safe with boundaries, and women should too.

[–]youkickmyd0g 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretend she has a dick and consider the situation. Listen to her and don't get unvested and make her turn off at command from time to time if she's telling you good intel/insights and yoy're stuck with her. Just maintain the illusion of penis.

[–]Mg1221 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I usually try to teach my GF things she doesn't know. Like fixing a flat tire. Then say " now you know how. You can do it yourself" I don't except anyone to be able to just do something without any knowledge on how. But I do expect them to do it if they know how.

[–]chim_city 15 points16 points  (1 child)

most women will text everyone on their cellphone for help before ever attempting to try it on their own

[–]Yezdigerd 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of a friend of mine who was asked to help a couple of girls who struggled with a coffee machine, It didn't take him long to figure it out and then he started explaining the issue to them assuming they would be curious to know, but they just put out their cups said thanks and moved on. They wanted the coffee not knowledge, should they encounter the issue again, well chances are there is another a dude around.

[–]Bla23ik8n 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This happens all the time in school too. I️ have chicks come up to me all the time wanting me to teach them about a certain science. Don’t fall for this bullshit. There are tutors and teachers that help teach that shit. It’s all a huge shit test. They’ll first want the answers and next thing you know you’re buying them a study snack or coffee. FUCK THAT.

[–]always-distracted 5 points6 points  (0 children)

teach those bitches biology

[–]bl1871 2 points3 points  (3 children)

What if it's some heavy shit that they are seriously struggling with?

[–]Barbuhgurth 132 points133 points  (1 child)

Laugh at her face, then immediately go post on trp about how much of an alpha psychopath Machiavellian you are

[–]BillSander 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This thread just keeps getting better.

[–]loviathrowaway1994 34 points35 points  (5 children)

Saying you're beautiful is not beta at all imo. Can signal confidence in your own opinion and express sexual interest. Just say it in an assertive alpha manner

[–]Salted_Pretzel 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Agreed. It's how you say it. Say it like a dork, you'll look like a dork.

[–]loviathrowaway1994 3 points4 points  (2 children)

And to be totally fair women don't hear this that often. No one straight up tells them they are beautiful. This way you can stand out from the crowd.

Don't linger on it for too long. Just make an honest observation and then continue with your fucking day, you're a man of value and have shit to do.

[–]askmrcia 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Saying they are beautiful is hands down the most cliche movie line of all time.

It's just overused whether the woman heard it or not. I do agree with you though, it's how you say it. You can pretty much say anything, but it comes down to how you say it

[–]y_mr_y 29 points30 points  (1 child)

its not about what you say

its about how you say it

you can ask her to marry you and tell her she is the most beautiful woman alive, depends only on how you say it.

I said about half of those things and got laid, just always give the impression that maybe you don't mean it so even if you slip up and give her an actual compliment she is not sure if you mean it or playing a joke on her.

Obviously we are talking face to face or over the phone.

[–]itsjustsimon- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, it does not matter if your SMV is high enough, you can say everything OP wrote not to say and you'll still get laid. But for recovering beta, this shit is good to think about.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Peter Griffin has nailed it down what you have to say

Also, two things:

Do you need help with that?

If it's her dessert, then this might be a legitimate question.

I have a surprise for you:

If it's lube or cuffs (depending on what she's into), this might be a legitimate line.

[–]Ichewfivegum 37 points38 points  (4 children)

I have a surprise for you works in one situation. Your fucking her doggystyle and the surprise is a thumb up her ass.

[–]2Dmva100 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Or a quick spin around and bust on her face

[–]RPTA3498 17 points18 points  (0 children)

When I'm going through an automatic sliding door I tell my girl, "let me get that door for you". I'm such a gentleman.

[–]allala93 27 points28 points  (18 children)

I love you.

Game. Set. Match.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (5 children)

"I.. I think I'm falling in love with you.. oh, sorry, I shouldn't have told you but, you know.. it's true. I feel nervous when I'm around you, feel butterflies, and I'm SURE there is something special between me and you. My life is, like, at a turning point and you can be the most important chapter of it. My mom will be proud to meet you, wait, I'm calling her, tomorrow you are invited to lunch, then I'll show my old pictures and we'll play some games with her. Woah, it's gonna be great. So, well, yeah, if you can, of course, or if you want.. or both, eheh, anyways what's your favourite flower?"

[–]tropzumuch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The problem about this shit is that every man knows to be that pathetic by default, but not how to be TRP way.

[–]TheTruthHelps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I couldn't read through this.

[–]Batmansiphone 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Basically said this to a girl about a year ago, she immediately ended it with me.

[–]Mukato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

watched a movie with the SO and this exact paragraph was in it; fucking cringe-fest.

[–]Davidskylarkk 10 points11 points  (11 children)

Call all women "love" they like it a lot! More so in the US since in Europe they do this in a lot of countries...

This works two ways, it gives them the little feeling like maybe he loves me. when you call another woman love in front of target they start to subconsciously kick in the competitive nature...

[–]jonib0ni 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Nah dude that's corny as fuck.

[–]Htowngetdown 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Plus it's a half step away from saying "I love you" and sending kissy face emojis. No thanks.

[–]Davidskylarkk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And you're a chromosome away from being a chick....

[–]supersonic-turtle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I second this, that word has power.

[–]Solistx 1 points1 points [recovered]

I see these lists and then I just fucking hate myself. Its like I know all the info, and then when I go out, all the knowledge is gone. I face palmed so hard.

At least I know where I fucked up. Maybe I should cut my own fucking balls off to because I obviously dont know how to use them... Christ.

[–]42-AX 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Don't sweat it bro, as long as you keep accomplishing small goals on a daily basis you'll get there. Baby steps.

[–]Hamilton950B 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Baby steps, and one step at a time. Go out one night and work on nothing but eye contact. Next week, not saying stupid shit. Next week, kino. Next, posture. (these are just examples). You can't do it all at once.

[–]Davidskylarkk 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Don't throw general compliments ever! It's easy to remember to zero in on something specific and compliment that. I see these guys saying, " oh your so cute I had to talk to you." Makes me cringe! Find something on her physically, not something she is wearing!!

[–]1CoupDeGrace22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sweating the small stuff should hint to you something else is lacking, friendly reminder.

It doesn't fucking matter what you say in small conversations, what matters is who you are and how you say it.

Calum von Mogger asks women for change to buy baby formula and just because he is Calum fucking von mogger and wears a suit he gets not only the change but also gets hit on by the woman.

Meanwhile your average loser can't even say hello without being ignored.

If your reaction to that is "Unfair" "Fuck women wtf is this shit?" then you're in the wrong sub.

[–]truecrisis 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Try self hypnosis. It let's you speak to your subconscious.

I swear this shit works. Michael Sealey on YouTube works for me.

[–]HopeFarmer 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I had that problem too. You've got to reframe your mental accounting of the interactions to favor delayed social gratification. For example, I used to feel bad that a girl wasn't texting me back and assume I was losing something. I would also feel bad when a girl acted sad that I didn't say "I love you too" or something like that. Over time I have learned to see it as a different kind of game. When she's not texting back or she's acting sad, that just means "it's your move" (see: "shit test"). If you reflexively tell her some needy or flattering nonsense or express deferential feelings, you will lose the game. If you resist the urge, you will lose nothing and occasionally score a major victory.

It's painful to internalize at first but it gets you results faster than any other lesson I've found here. I realized that when I just ignored the girls acting upset or ignoring me, tons of them started inviting me to do things, sending flirty messages randomly, and aggressively initiating sexual interactions. Now when a girl ignores me or acts needy I just pat myself on the back for a small victory. If you can stick with it, this tactic works especially well on girls who already think of you as a beta orbiter because subverting their expectations will drive their hamsters crazy.

[–]Mukato 1 point2 points  (1 child)

pick one off the list and work on either over-using it on purpose, or focus on not using it for 2 weeks and notice the changes in yourself and others you interact with.

then pick another one and do the same thing.

After a while, you'll have gained mastery over each one of them.

[–]InHouse_Banana 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I feel you bro, I've been there, but with time, it becomes second nature. Just, Ffs, keep track of your screw ups, otherwise you'll never get better at the game.

[–]thefisherman1961 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The more you internalize the pill, the easier it becomes to just instinctively not do any of that shit, without even having to think about it. You'll have to actively flip the beta switch on and off to say these things.

[–]JackGetsIt 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That's because it's one thing to learn something and it's another entirely to practice it in real life.

In fact over learning and under implementing can become a real detriment to your development.

Maybe I should cut my own fucking balls off too because I obviously dont know how to use them... Christ.

Ah. Don't do that. Actually do you mind if I workshop a draft of a future post on you?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Yup, agreed on all points.

Next: things you SHOULD say to her:

Nice rack

How old are you!? (You should say this in such a way that any answer is wrong)

You'll make some guy very unhappy one day

There's something fairly attractive about you....

Oh. I thought you were a lesbian. (For bonus points mispronounce lesbian as lesbeen or paraphrase in some other comedic way)

You're only saying that because you're on the rag. Immediately follow up any objections with "hmmm...thought so".

And answer at least some of her shit tests by withdrawing your attention, looking away, pointing your body away, and generally losing interest in her.

Young women who are attracted to you love this all controversial shit and find it very attractive (especially combined with not saying all the pussy-drying comments that OP outlined). Feminists, older women, provider hunters, unattractive and unattracted women all hate it with a passionate fury. Double win.

[–]reallydontgiveashit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're only saying that because you're on the rag. Immediately follow up any objections with "hmmm...thought so".

Immediately made me think of Patrice. Never had a male role model but damn I miss that fucking guy.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Will you marry me? Is she rich or something?

This is absolutely unreal. If you agree at all with this sentiment, you have disappeared up your own asshole.

You want to know what makes men into 'alphas'??? Confidence. That's it. And it doesn't come from some fucking book, or belief, or value, or rule. It comes from work. Contribute something to the world. Do something that isn't all about you. Be a part of something bigger.

The fact that you all really want to hear advice about how to be confident shows exactly what your problem is: you're looking for the easy way. Let me ask you something. Would it really be that great if you could actually follow all these rules and everything else in TRP and thus seem like you're confident? Or would it be better to actually gain some real confidence in yourself and then not need to follow any neckbeard's rules?

[–]mp111 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Don't say I love you? Then how do you get them to have sex with you? /s

[–]ReinhardVonLoengram 5 points6 points  (2 children)

"Don't carry her fucking bags, don't fix her fucking flat tire and don't do her math homework. Let the betas do that. You can't fall for that "damsel in distress" act. It's pure manipulation"

Bs. I lost my virginity over a gilr asking me to come over and put up her shitty bedroom canopy. Put it up, asked if i wanted to watch a movie, 30 minutes into My Pet Dragon and i was fucking inside said canopy.

It's all about context. If she's contributing , it's not a problem.

[–]m0rphing 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah but you had to set up her bed for her. That's fucking gay. If she was hot I would probably come over, not touch the canopy because fuck that, and then ask what the REAL reason she wanted me over for is, with a smirk.

[–]ReinhardVonLoengram 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, i kissed her on the cheek at work before. This was just a an excuse for getting me over to fuck to rationalize the whoreness away. If there's clear chemistry, her asking you to do things is a plus, especially at her fucking house lol,

[–]Kizzou 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is why it's so important to get out of the house and interface with women. As long as you try to stay mindful, you can observe the interaction in a more objective manner and later reflect and learn.

These things are of no issue for me. I'll say whatever is on my mind to a women or man without an ounce of concern as to what their opinion is of me. Does that mean I purposefully disrespect Them? No, I just attempt to express myself as honestly as I can in that moment. My biggest issue is the approach. I just Inhibit myself at times. It's weird.

Anyway, great post bro!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Whenever I accidentally bump into a girl I accidentally say "Oh, I'm sorry!" and it makes me want to fucking kms. It's like the phrase is coded into my brain and I can't even physically say "excuse me" unless I wait and think about what I'm going to say...

[–]2Dmva100 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you have high SMV they will actually apologize to you very quickly. The same rule applies to holding doors. Women who think you're hot will often hold the door for you even after their Beta has already held it open for them.

Go for the close if this happens. A big IOI that many miss.

[–]majorketone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to this a lot. I'll accidentally say sorry just for getting in people's way and I'll immediately get pissed at myself for saying it. Its hard to overcome the programming

[–]BillSander 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Apologies are beaten into your programing from an early age. Work on your mental point of origin and take small opportunities to be a dick without saying you're sorry. It feels wrong at first, but gets easier.

Ex. I mistakenly cut a line recently... saw what I did when I saw people walk up who were standing there. Focused on dgaf, and at lunch like a boss.

[–]AbeJFroman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try being Canadian.... lol it's practically automatic that everyone says it... I switched to "excuse me" or saying nothing but once in a while a sorry slips out

[–]JoeBender1 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Never say: “lady, you are a lousy lay.”

She will never forgive you. Ever. Not even in the next lifetime.

[–]2Dmva100 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That's a good way to see if she's down to be a cuckquean though.

[–]MrillRedPill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've banged alot of women off tinder by telling them that their beautiful so I'm not so sure about rule#1

[–]Vulgar_Professional 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If your SMV is high enough, you can do/say whatever you want.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

All of these are great if said sarcastically.

A well timed "gorgeous" works pretty well though but I agree it should be super rare. It's a good 'pull' if you've pushed hard. I've only used it when parting ways and it causes them to want to change plans/give a strong physical exit.

[–]EightyTimes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Naw man.

Feel free to hold doors open, carry stuff for her, if it's YOUR IDEA. You're a big fucking strong guy, who not do a bunch of stuff that demonstrates how effortless it is for you to carry her books? You're demonstrating that you can kick somebody's ass if need be.

Just... When you do these things... Do it because it's YOUR IDEA, not because you were asked or you feel obligated.

[–]beachbbqlover 1 points1 points [recovered]

Your edit is appropriate. This is guideline stuff that you need to consider, not ever say.

You are gorgeous/beautiful!:

This is appropriate when she's put in effort to look particularly beautiful - grad party grade. Makeup and outfit on point, hair awesome. If she is looking like this, then she's put the work in.

This is not appropriate for randomly throwing at HB6 working at the office because you desperately need to tap that. Doing so spoils the value of the sentence and the person.

You should probably also notice that even if she has put in the work, if all she's seeing at that point from every man is this then joining the ranks doesn't exactly make you stand out.

So...When's your birthday?:

Your point is that small-talk has to be secondary. "I can't be just friends because I have places to be and people to do". If she's taking care of things then to me, go ahead.

Yes! (I'll be happy to):

A lot of women will outright ask you for favors in the beginning of the "relationship" as a shit test or to take advantage of you.

The key point here is that if she's worth her salt, this has to go both ways. Same with anyone else. Don't get strung along because you're a desperate bitch, but don't be afraid to do stuff for someone who just saved your ass in a meeting because reddit says so or you're an ass.

I'm sorry:

There's a difference between asshole bosses and leaders, and one of the key ones is that leaders are accountable and asshole bosses gaslight people. If you're apologizing, do it mindfully rather than just blurting it out because you feel bad. Do it as a leader. Women don't apologize because they're not usually leaders, and they're not expected to be.

Do you have a boyfriend? (or are you single?):

The point here is that you have no interest in this until after you're already involved. Until you're already very involved. At which point, it's more of a "okay, ditch the other guys, I've got this" than a "are you single?"

You hurt my feelings:

This simply doesn't happen in a meaningful way until about a year in, and at that point the subtle cues you give her about what is acceptable and disappointing should be enough. If she does disappoint you, that's how you take it if you are the leader. "I'm disappointed in how you've handled this. [consequence]"

You boyfriend/husband is a lucky man:

Say this once in your life, never more. Save it for that time.

you deserve better:

You're basically saying "you are worth more than him" which inflates her number. If your number isn't much better than his, this is a failed strategy.

I have a surprise for you:

I've been invited to [insert awesome travel destination here] and you can come. Do this when it makes sense to you but realize that if she's showing loyalty and does a good job, you can too.

Ladies first!:

Only when it's funny.

How many guys have you been with?:

After a few dozen you can tell. You can also tell which ones make you happier. Myself, I always preferred the sluttier girls, but the one I'm with is weird and I'm only her 2nd nominally.

Who's that guy I've seen you with?:

I've said this as a joke. It's appropriate when she's leveraging an orbiter who's clearly (even to her) several notches lower than you.

Do you like me? or Do you think I'm attractive? am I your type?:

I said this once to a chick that had a weird tattooed pierced asian slut look because I was willing to sacrifice her to get the in on her type.

I love you:

We've been together 10 years. You say this occasionally and mindfully, and without prompting. It's also fun to make her say it when she's ready to orgasm and staring you in the eyes.

tl-dr; explaining the ins and outs of how that list applies differently so people understand it better

[–]zealanderx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

re is that if she's worth her salt, this has to go both ways. Same with anyone else. Don't get strung along because you're a desperate bitch, but don't be afraid to do stuff for someone who just saved your ass in a meeting becaus

Yes this comment-

Written by one who's been there and done it.

[–]bossplayaintraining 7 points8 points  (7 children)

And now I don’t get how to talk to a girl.

[–]lIIlllIIlIIllIlllIIl 1 points1 points [recovered]

Talk like she's a regular person that needs to earn your approval. Not some goddess on a pedestal.

[–]bossplayaintraining 1 point2 points  (3 children)

And I’m assuming it’s possible for me to show my interest to them without directly telling them about it. I think escalation is the way to go about it. And I also think that instead of asking, “Can I get your phone number?” and shit like that, I should turn it into commands.

Correct me if I’m wrong.

[–]behindtheline40 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Giving anyone attention that you have no obligation to usually shows interest

[–]Mukato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what works for me when it's at that point in the convo where i want the number: Hand them my phone on the add contact page and say "let me have your number"

It's the command form, but I don't put command tone behind it. also the phone is right there to put it in.

[–]Salted_Pretzel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Tease them. Talk to them normal but add light teases here and there. Practice makes perfect.

[–]askmrcia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can say whatever you want to be honest. Most times it's not what you say but how you say it.

You can say "I thought you were cute so I had to talk to you" if you say it sarcastically and in a way you know she heard it before and then take it from there while looking at her sexually. It's your body language and non verbals that helps.

I know what I said kind of sounds complicated, but it's really not. It becomes second nature the more you practice.

A little hint, when alcohol involved your words mean even less.

[–]bmunny1963 1 points1 points [recovered]

"I feel...": This is one I'm trying to avoid. She doesn't care about your feelings, won't empathize, and won't accept any responsibility for how you feel. Just set your boundaries and expectations and call her on her shit when necessary. Explaining how her actions make you feel might be considered by some as "good communication" but it ultimately puts you in the beta zone.

[–]en_men_lu_ana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should also point out that honesty is unwanted. Every time I was honest about chick and people/things/events related to her, it didn't end up good for me.

After some years of experience I can only tell that females prefer comforting lies above anything. And they really don't give a fuck about your opinion.

[–]itsjustsimon- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you need to think about saying or not saying this shit, you are focusing on the wrong thing. Raise your SMV.

[–]Whisker-biscuitt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well fuck me, this list just woke me up. TLDR; 40 yrs old, always played a good alpha, but also been in LTR for 18 years, on-off. Kids, complicates things. Meet girl decade younger than me, lots of hot sex, and then wouldn’t you know it, I’m doing shit on this damn list.

So really, thanks for posting this. I needed a wake up as this current girl is great, yeah sure, but there will be no “relationship”, and I gotta keep myself in check. This may be an excuse, but TRP mentality is getting harder to prioritize as I get older. What’s worse is I seem to be attracting more plates though as I age, so that’s a bonus, but only if I can keep my mentality where it belongs.

[–]Brickles09 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Except for the ‘ladies first’ part, as I’m not a muslim, it’s everything else spot on.

[–]SovereignSoul76 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Great post. I feel dirty when I think about how many of these I've said in my BP days :( shame

[–]thunderbeyond 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah its like a shameful checklist for me too. Not any more though.

[–]JackGetsIt 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I agree with the gist of this post but I think a lot of people will read it and get confused because you can literally say all this stuff on a daily basis and get laid like gangbusters. It's all about frame, timing, attitude, value, social position, delivery.

In fact a few of these probably need to be said at certain times tactfully within relationships.

I do agree with this one

I apologize for my gender

NEVER EVER EVER say this to a women unless it's completely in jest, i.e. sorry not sorry.

[–]m0rphing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These tips are mostly for guys who are really struggling with neediness, in which case they are valuable. For guys who already 'get it' you can pretty much say anything.

[–]allala93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never ever say this in the presence of a man either.

[–]Jonlife 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tom Segura said it Beautifully the other day on the Rogan podcast. Paraphrasing: once you show any interest in them, they become disinterested.

So Stop showing interest. Stop caring. And you'll be miserable in trying to get rid of them.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (7 children)

All good but, absolutely change her flat tire if it happens: learn how to do that, make it seem easy (it actually is) and she'll love the whole situation, looking at you in adoration like a little child.

[–]Casanova-Quinn 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Agreed. Having manly skills is definitely attractive. However you shouldn't be any girl's on call repairman. Use your skills only when it's convenient to your situation.

[–]m0rphing 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Having "manly skills" like being able to fix stuff makes you attractive as a beta utility provider. The only skill you need if you want to be attractive as a dick-provider is social dominance.

[–]cmars118 4 points5 points  (8 children)

What do you think a relationship is? Because everything you listed makes it sound like you need to be some kind of unfeeling robot just to assert your masculinity. It's the definition of insecurity.

Don't tell a woman you love them? Are you serious? You do realize there is a way to have self-respect and be strong/confident in your masculinity while still admitting your feelings to a woman. One of the constant risks of entering a relationship is the possibility that, since you're putting your feelings out there, you might get screwed/hurt. But that doesn't mean you should restructure your entire character or be afraid of being sensitive. You know PLENTY of women also do the things you listed above. And in relationships, plenty of men screw over women all the time. Yeah lots of the things you mentioned are sentimental, cheesy, lovey dovey, and plenty of people take it too far, and that's when it becomes potentially detrimental to your own well-being. But that cheesy, lovey dovey shit is part of what makes us human. And in the long run, it never pays off to be cold and calculating. No matter how much of a grasp you think you have on women.

[–]Bla23ik8n 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I’m glad there’s guys like you around. Without dudes like you, we wouldn’t have any chicks in LTR to bang.

[–]m0rphing 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You're still blue pilled my friend. That cheesy, lovey dovey shit is not part of what makes us human. You have been sold a lie of how you are supposed to behave, but it's not the real deal. Sorry to break it to ya buddy.

[–]BullshittingNonsense 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This guy is such a major dope

Edit: by this guy I mean the guy who wrote the post

[–]cmars118 1 points1 points [recovered]

Is that in reference to me or OP?

[–]bobbydreddits 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thought about buying a plate flowers and leaving a note saying "you're annoying". Acceptable?

[–]m0rphing 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Seems like a beta gesture to me, no matter what you write on the card. If I was a woman I'd be like, "Ok yeah he wrote I'm annoying on the card but he still went to the trouble of buying flowers for me. I must really be on his mind all the time or something."

[–]qwerty123457 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We as a society don't do a great job explaining what makes one successful at dating. People are told women like "nice guys" and you internalize that to mean push over the doormats, instead of being decent humans. You mistake a desire for confidence and self sufficiency for a preference for jerks. You hear things like confidence is sexy, but can't differentiate confidence from being condescending asshats. When your skewed perceptions don't work out for you you start lashing and end up in disgusting circle jerks like these, because people like you hate being self reflective and owning up to your own shit. I'm a woman.

[–]hugaddiction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great start buddy, let's add this one to the list, "Can I Kiss You?". If your 14 this is ok, if your older, you should know when there is chemistry, and when there is not.

[–]TuckerP 1 points1 points [recovered]

I feel like this is all false tho. I say this shit all the time and I get laid like a madman.

[–]m0rphing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you're hot enough or dominant enough it doesn't matter what you say, but these tips do help guys who are pretty average.

[–]barb9212 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can I take you out some time?

I always avoided saying this because it's giving the woman a chance to back out. "I usually say lets go do xyz", or "I'm going to xyz you coming" How do you guys ask woman to meet up with you or hang out with you?

[–]furcryingoutloud 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I say whatever is gonna get me laid. Each time. I love you, you're beautiful. Anything as long as it gets me laid. Yeah, I know, I'm an asshole, but then again, I get laid a lot.

Basically, as OP says in his edit, you have to use your head. Timing is everything. Getting those feelz is the objective.

[–]m0rphing 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You're on the right track for sure and maybe you 'get it'. The key is that sometimes getting laid isn't worth doing certain shit. Sometimes you'll do something just to get laid (and you succeed) and then the girl puts you in that category of "guy who will do x to get laid and I can manipulate him because of it". It's important for dudes to remember that it's not "pussy at any cost", it's "pussy only if it's convenient for you and on your terms."

[–]furcryingoutloud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are so right. And I would like to make very clear that I agree with your assessment and that at the same time, it takes some level of experience to pull it off without turning blue. It is basically a game of push and pull that will get you more than what you give.

"pussy only if it's convenient for you and on your terms."

Thank you for this. I should have put more thought into my comment and mentioned it. Thanks.

[–]InternetHateDevice 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'll disagree on calling a woman beautiful or saying ladies first, but the rest I will 100 percent agree with.

I try to be a classic old fashion man, and that angle has worked out for me so far, but I guess it's all how you do it. Women do love men who love to be men.

If I see a woman standing in line for coffee with me wearing some sexy leather boots or just a well put together woman, I'll straight up tell her what I like. Note: I'll be specific about what it is that I like, not just a generic "you're beautiful." It catches most off guard since the vast majority of men don't compliment women like that, usually makes their day, and is a great conversation starter.

[–]Mr-Kabuki 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Why cant I say "can I take you out sometime?" what am I supposed to say?

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Many reasons. "Sometime" makes it sound like you are always available, at her beck and call, desperately wanting this to happen. That's not how an attractive man acts around women, and they know it, so they correctly assume you're low status, if they hear this from you.

"Can I take you out" is a phrase from 1960 when we still had a "dating culture". It's long dead and buried in 2017, however there are many blue pill men who live according to what Rollo calls "The Old Books". They try to play the chivalry/dating/nice guy game, expecting this will get them laid; they push for relationship, thinking this will let them lock her pussy down for themselves; they allow themselves to be pressured into marriage by women, because they believe they owe the woman marriage if she's been letting them regularly fuck her.

Women know about "the old books" being dead, it's not difficult for them since they're mercenary by nature and very pragmatic - that bullshit simply makes them laugh, on some level. They get that it's theatre, and it's contemptible theatre too. But they also know about the blue pill idiots, who will LARP this stuff till the cows come home, because that's the only thing they know. So women use those guys, sometimes very brutally. You don't want to be putting out this blue pill "old books guy" vibe.

So what should you say?

"I'm going to be doing ABC on Thurs night. Wanna come?"

Specific day and time, no blue pill "dating" bullshit, and you're inviting her to something you're already doing with or without her, for your own entertainment.

If it's a woman you barely know, "what do you like coffee or tea? k, let's grab a cuppa and get to know what fascinating people you and I are. Tuesday work?"

Or maybe: "Hey you know, you're kinda cute. Let's you and me get some covfefe, there's a nice place over there.."

Infinite variations, you just have to get the correct tone and intent down. You need to dump the old books way completely, with its pussy worship and LARPing, but you can still be very charming. Or even more so, without it.

[–]Mr-Kabuki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so you should tell the girl that you two should go out instead of asking her. That makes sense. Just a couple questions:

In the first example, you should invite her to do something that you are already doing. But what fun things are you supposed to be doing yourself anyways? I mean if you wanna take her to the movies, you mention that you were going to go the movies by yourself before inviting her and people generally see going to the movies alone as weird and only for friendless people. (same can be said for going to restaurants, concerts, museums, ice skating)

In the third example, you give the girl a compliment before asking her out, isn't that usually a bad idea?


[–]take1fortheteam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

May I* because can I is just bad grammar.

[–]Guthix4Days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jealousy is pretty much a difficult emotion to circumvent. I also occasionally find myself having a bit of it.

Just control it and make sure you use it to improve yourself - don't let it consume you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I apologize for my gender."

Oh, man hahaha.

[–]PsyMonk- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This needs to be side-barred.... PUT IT IN THE SIDE BAR!!! T_T

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Maybe I'm learning more than I thought because I never say these faggy things. I do hold the door for people, but I do it for guys and girls.

[–]Trooper_1868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ladies first!

Don't see the problem with this, as long as you dont behave like a cuck. I remember a friend and 1, held the door for these two girls once, two seperate doors. We didnt go out of our way, but these two chicks just walked past the doors like it was their birthright. They were surprised when we said "your welcome" loudly.

But this was an extreme case. The key is for women to see you dont open doors (keep them open for the next person as you walk into them) for just women. I do it for everyone, regardless of age, gender, etc.

If you open a door for another human being, its fine. If you do it whilst behaving like a beta cuck, then that is a problem.

load more comments (59 replies)