Someone posted this in askTRP. It made me stop what I was doing and write this post. If this were asked in person, I would stand up and all but start screaming and yelling this explanation so that I could do everything to sink this into the heads of you fuckers who think this way.
Problem with me is approaching is terrifying due to other people watching, the girl having friends around her and lastly what she thinks/getting rejected. I dont care about the rejection as much since I learned thats just the way it goes for everyone... (most guys get rejected like 80% of the time with a typical "sorry i have a boyfriend excuse etc.) But i cant get past the stress of other people watching and her friends being around or showing up while im talking to the girl im approaching... how do i go about dealing with this? would taking xanax or drinking help? and wheres the best place for me to approach?
Holy fucking shit. No. No. No. No. No.
Then, this is where I would probably start passionately screaming my explanation.
Do NOT ever take drugs to numb yourself. Why? What happens is you never actually break any ground. That drug masked the same feeling you're working to overcome. It actually did nothing other than mask it. That's not fixing the core issue, is it?
The core fucking issue is simple; IRRATIONAL FEAR. Irrational fear is a mother fucker. For the purpose of this discussion, I am calling it irrational because nothing bad is going to actually happen to you from approaching a random chick... yet, you have this fear of impending doom which consumes your mind like a fucking virus. It takes over, and leads you to start asking whether you should abuse drugs or not. Fuck. Think on that for a second. Think about what you just asked. And I write this because I know half or more than half the people here experienced this exact same thing.
Now, some may call it rational because they believe it stems from some evolutionary features which caused us to feel fight or flight in order to fight off other males looking to take on the same vagina we are. Well, I DON'T REALLY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR EVOLUTION.
WHY? Because you don't need to fight anyone in 2017 (or, let's say the case is so rare that you would pretty much have to bring it on yourself). She says she has a boyfriend? No problem at all, smile and tell her, "I get you, he is one of those sexist pigs who doesn't allow you to talk to guys. Have a good day." Done deal. Use their own dog shit on them and walk the fuck out.
That is the worst case scenario. Or, maybe her boyfriend is there and you view that as the worst case... So? Say, "My bad bro, she's dope. Have a good one." And keep it fucking moving. Done. End of story, goodbye.
So fuck your evolution in it's ass. It's bullshit when talking about this, and does not pertain to this situation. The only thing here is your irrational fear. And what do you do with irrational fear? You don't give it the slightest ability to infect you and take over. Fuck that noise. You go show yourself how irrational it is and do the exact thing you have ZERO FUCKING reason to be afraid of.
I mean come on! You think people will remember this? You think people really give that much of fuck about you, or that you embarrassed yourself for 5 seconds in the case you do? Be serious. Turn the tables and watch from the other side, do you really give a fuck if someone else did that in front of you? No, you'd tell yourself it was like watching a car accident, but simultaneously forget about it and move on with your day. WHO EVEN GIVES A FUCK?
Who the fuck cares? YOU! That is about it, you, and not a single other person.
YOU CAN SIT ON THE SIDELINES FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE... TALKING ABOUT HOW SCARED YOU ARE, OR HOW WORRIED. OR, YOU CAN PUT ON YOUR BIG BOY PANTS AND MAN THE FUCK UP AND STOP ACTING LIKE A SCARED PUSSY.
YOUR FEAR IS IRRATIONAL. IT'S NOT REAL. NOT EVEN A LITTLE. Now you just need to show yourself that is true. As you were.