Field ReportEmbrace the pain and the struggle. Let it form you into the man you want to be. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by ozenmacher

The life of a man is often going to be a lonely road. Often times it will be filled with struggle. The world may not make any sense. Social media says we should search for happiness. Fuck searching for happiness. This world does not care about you or your happiness. And you should not care about trying to obtain it. Instead, let it come through the fruits of your labor.

I took the Redpill over the course of 5 years since I moved to Alaska, but it never became an integral part of my life until the last two years. One thing I have learned in life is the struggle and pain that we suffer initially as young men (and honestly through the remainder of this life) is what forges us into steel. It is what makes you into the man that all redpillers desperately crave. Some may say, "Well you were born with good genes" or "you must have been a natural with a lot a masculine upbringing". Nope. Raised as bluepill as you can be. Good genes? Korean American adopted in a predominantly white farm town in the midwest. 5'5", barely 125 pounds ( I was the true definition of "skinny-fat" and pudge faced) when I was at my skinniest in my 20s, with zero identity (now 34 and 135 pounds of ultra lean, rock hard muscle formed thorough deadlifts, squats, bench, etc., and mountains/climbing). Never had a girlfriend until my thirties, struggled to keep friends because of my bluepill rage that was slowly building over the decades. Now, women come and I don't even need to try, and masculine male friends want to hang with you because they know you will bring positive things to their lives too. Yes, even you short guys who didn't win the "Chad" lottery can do it.

But I never regret a single day. All the times spent alone, I now know were times that shaped me into the man that I now am. Don't chase pussy, don't chase external validation, don't expect happiness from the world. Only you validate yourself. Work hard, self-improve as a man, embrace the hardships and struggles of life. Fuck social media and what the liberal elites tell you you should become. They don't care about you. They want you to be a victim. Don't be a victim. Only you care about yourself, and only you can TAKE care of yourself.

But what about women? This is what I have to say (and what I learned so well from the best posts on TRP): don't ever chase pussy. It is a waste of time and a waste of effort. You may score some lays and get lucky on occasion, but it distracts from the most important part of a man's life, self-improvement and hard work, and for many men still stuck under the spell of the bluepill, is just another form of validation seeking that will eventually crush you into oblivion if you let it get out of control. Cut that shit out. Ironically, everything you truly seek and strive for in life only comes when you take the path of resistance, including women. Women love TRULY confident, successful, and strong men, and they can sniff out the fakers and PUA's from a mile away. It is built into their genes for purposes of survival. Don't chase pussy, but instead embrace the struggle and always, ALWAYS stay thirsty. And they will love your confidence, rock solid frame, and they will follow you like the leader that you are. When they truly experience your rock solid masculine frame and they see your real, honest, confident smile and they see you oozing with strength, character, and virtue, they will follow. They will chase you because they have never experienced a man like you before.

Things all men should strive for, and things that truly helped me along the way:

  1. This may sound weird, but cut out the bullshit processed food that you eat every day. It is lazy. It is mouth pleasure that shows you lack self-control. Plus it makes your body look like shit. Eat real food, and toss out the lucky charms. You aren't 12 any more living with mom. Cook for yourself. Grow your own food. Shoot an animal (legally) or go fishing. Take care of your body, because you only have one, and it is not indestructible.

  2. Climb some mountains (literally OR figuratively). We are lucky in Alaska that we have the greatest wilderness in the world. It will spit you out and ruin you faster than you could imagine. Embrace that, go and climb mountains. Embrace the pain, struggle, and the true visceral fear, then overcome them. Make goals, and work towards the mountains you want to summit. Look down and feel pride, then start planning and goal setting for the next bigger mountain to dominate, the one that will crush you and destroy you unless you plan and self-improve (plus, if you really do it literally, it will give you that athletic body women can't stop thinking about).

  3. As an addendum to number 2, lift/workout. It doesn't need to be classic lifting like you may think, however. Rock climbing, rock gyms, bouldering, rugby, or other physically and mentally demanding sports can also build the body women crave and it will build a mind of steel that can push through any obstacle with a sickening singular focus.

  4. Embrace discomfort. When you are climbing that mountain (literally or just any obstacle in life) and your mind tells you to stop and that you can't keep going, fuck that shit. Tell those thoughts to fuck off and just keep climbing. Your body and mind will hate you in the moment, but that mental and physical fortitude will eventually reach a point where you actually enjoy the pain. We call it type 2 fun. Go out there and have some fun like real men do.

  5. Meditation and/or Stoicism. Pretty self explanatory. If you don't know or want to read more, the internet is a wealth of information. Understand that the greatest quality in a real man, a real leader, is in unflappable mental fortitude in the midst of chaos, pain, and uncertainty that pushes the weak ones to failure. You are not a failure, and you are not weak. Meditation and stoicism are another tool in your belt as you seek self-improvement and mental strength and character.

  6. Find interests and hobbies and master them. Put yourself out of your comfort zone. Think you can't do it? Well that is your mind telling you that you can't. One thing you will learn on your RedPill journey, and maybe one of the most important, is that once you drop bluepill behavior and beliefs that you are not good enough, suddenly your ability to learn and master things you never thought you could do becomes easy. Master one thing, then move in to another. Get comfortable? Well, start from scratch again and put yourself out of your comfort zone.

Always stay thirsty, and keep your mind focused on the goals that lie ahead.

[–]soovoo 113 points114 points  (2 children)

The biggest thing I've learned is that you just have to have this "fuck it" attitude and just go do it. Stop hesitating, the hardest part is getting started. Once you get started, you have a tendency not to quit. Just gotta get it done.

[–]ChadThundercockII 22 points23 points  (1 child)

No, the biggest thing is guys not bearing the pain that comes after that "fuck it" and they quit.

[–]1alpha-zach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When “fuck it” is emotional, giving up is too easy. When it’s logical, the tendency is to not quit.

[–]2chazthundergut 38 points39 points  (2 children)

"Embrace diacomfort"... This is absolutely true and essential.

But I'm surprised you're having success in Alaska. When I was up there I don't think I saw more than two genuinely attractive women in the whole state. And way too many men. Good for you man.

[–]Heisenbread77 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yeah but if you have your shit together it will be obvious in a place where competition is abundant.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It is an interesting place when it comes to women. The female "adventurers" in the outdoors are probably more masculine than most of the rest of the country's men, but oh my, once you get tapped into that community, there is a never-ending reservoir of down to earth and highly attractive women. Oh, and we get a TON of Europeans in Alaska. There is a huge research community here because of the high Arctic.

But yes, when I first got here, I thought the same thing. You just need to put yourself into the right community of adventurers because they aren't sitting around doing nothing in Anchorage or any of the other big cities or towns.

[–]nomoreaccount1679 17 points18 points  (1 child)

As Chuck palahniuk said, "Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space."

[–]yammyha 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Very interesting approach OP. Some great valid points. It definitely correlates to the mindset + discipline for success as I've read many books in the last year opening my mind about society and the way we think and you nailed it.

So good they can't ignore you, outliers, make it stick, how to win friends and influence people, the magic of thinking big, are just some example of good reads and IQ talks on YouTube all come back to your points . The struggle and fulfillment paints a bigger picture of success and confidence instead of finding reason to be motivated by money.

The confidence from within to embrace the struggle people don't see really forges the mind as it's an invisible force. Same as athletes who say the competition is the easy part; the hard work is behind the scenes which we don't see leading to why we value athletes and sporting competition so much.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Women age like milk men like wine.

The grapes need to be crushed first for 80% of us. The negatives weren’t just worth it - they createdq the positives.

Also can relate with the line about alienating good friends through blue Pill rage.

[–]halloweencandy69 1 points1 points [recovered]

Can someone explain Blue Pill rage?

[–]ozenmacher[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

There really isn't an all-encompassing definition, but for me, it was the built-in anger that was deep and lurking, one that you would never see 99 percent of the time. It comes from a sense of purposelessness, from a lack of identity, from a lack of masculine upbringing. For other men, it comes from rejection from women when they play the role of "Mr. Nice Guy"...and eventually get rejected time and time again (another piece of societal BS that is preached to young men). Mine was further enhanced by a feeling that I was always an outsider in a white world...that nobody liked me for "who I was" (yes, very bluepill thinking when I look back, but that is what society teaches us). When I finally got friends, I did what most people who feel lost and "lonely" do, cling on and hang on, which eventually suffocates the relationships. After that it is a self-reciprocating process of more anger and insecurity. It is an ugly cycle, and a cycle that you see in so many lost men in our society...a society that has almost no masculinity left it in for boys and most AFC's. It is why more and more men commit suicide, and partly why more and more men are going loco and going on these suicidal killing sprees (I am not a clinical psychologist...but it fits the data). Look up Elliot Rodger for an example.

[–]daxorid 7 points8 points  (1 child)

and your mind tells you to stop and that you can't keep going, fuck that shit. Tell those thoughts to fuck off and just keep climbing

Strongly agree in most cases. But I'd caution all men to learn to differentiate between being a mentally weak bitch and actual injury. Do not push through a real injury; do not push through heat exhaustion.

That is all, carry on.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, it was partly allegorical...

But yes, being 100% literal, of course, don't do stupid shit. That pertains to all aspects of life.

[–]Marl_MGTOW 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Loneliness is a hypothetical construct - if we can self-soothe instead of relying emotionally on others, then we will not be lonely

[–]yammyha 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I value my alone time, where I have a friend who constantly feeds on our emotions and energy , putting others down and acting tough and always try to find a reason to dictate my behavior.

Alone time allows us to to recooperate and understand and learn about ourselves and who we want to become.

[–]boy_golden1 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Comfort breeds weakness. By enduring multiple struggles, unknowingly you become a mental juggernaut that women naturally cling to. Become the stalwart, durable, battle-hardened motherfucker that women really need.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I agree whole-heartedly. Comfort should be very short lived, and I believe we should always be seeking some level of personal discomfort. Eventually you reach a point where almost nothing, except extreme physical pain, fazes you.

[–]Strider_Tolstoi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would say that too much comfort also breeds discomfort, when I was a neet with nothing to do all day I eventually became fat as fuck and just spent my nights masturbating and sometimes crying until I fell sleep... thanks god I have overcome that phase.

[–]dobak94 1 points1 points [recovered]

This is definitely what I’ve seen Mark Manson preach in “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”

[–]ozenmacher[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I haven't read that, but I have heard it is a worthy read. May check it out and add it to my list shortly. Currently obsessed with evolutionary biology.

[–]bundyburger1 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Fantastic advice, mountain climbing is something I have never done, but I have heard many people speak of its benefits in regards to developing character,resilience and pride. I am terrible with heights but had to get used to them because of jobs I have done in the past (roofing and industrial cleaning) and although I was still afraid at heights every single time, I had a sense of pride having faced my fear and gotten through it. I am planning to start climbing next year .

[–]2Archterus 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Try this out for a read: https://www.amazon.com/Fear-Challenge-Sir-Ranulph-Fiennes/dp/1473617995 Famed English explorer, climbed in the Himalaya, fearful of heights.

[–]DaddyIssues6 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Thanks for this. This really hits home for me. Im in my early 20s and I feel like a ghost. Im working on myself heavily, but every so often when I stop and listen, I feel my mind telling me how worthless I am and that it’s the reason why my life isn’t exciting.

I believe in change now and I’m excited for what is happening now and how it will affect my future. Cheers.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Good to hear man. The future is bright for you. The earlier you learn the better. Some men never have an opportunity to learn. Get married early in life. Never took the redpill. Get divorce raped, then they do it all over again. Then they hit 50 and realize they didn't do anything with their lives. You have tons of time to realize your potential.

[–]19flash92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my dads story and it’s really sad, I remember one day I said to him what have you done for just yourself? He is really blue pill people pleaser that made life choices around women and never truly but the bullet for himself.

[–]nasil_boyle_superim 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Its a great self-confidence that giving advices in a subreddit about attracting women, as a person who has his first gf in thirties.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Everyone has a story to tell, an experience to share. You'd do best in this life not to invalidate someone until you meet them, listen to their story, or understand their experience. If you just want to "attract" women and nothing else, PUA will do you and others well.

[–]Oscar_Cc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. I am glad you improved yourself, you are an inspiration considering your starting point.

I sympathise since I am approaching 30 and still never had a girlfriend as well. Only paid sex (which was good enough, but I would like to experience the real thing).

My take after a summer full of approaches and pussy chasing is that it is a terribly draining experience. I am 6 feet tall, not muscular but not fat, and still tiny results.

I think that successful womanizers are those who genuinely enjoy the chase and feeling validating by girls. I don't, so it feels like a chore, a routine at best. I am bad at spiking their sexual feelings. Girls I reckon can sense that I am going through a script.

[–]RPBetaphag 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The life of a man is often going to be a lonely road.

Reminded me of this IT crowd scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNxAZ7fobjY

[–]VirginGod 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm a women but I sure am using this starting today.

[–]Arabian_Wolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hope your username checksout (till you marry mister right man and live happily ever after).

[–]BreakingRed_ 2 points3 points  (4 children)

There's an elephant in the room hidden in the vibes of what you wrote.

Women throw away their youth getting plowed by chads until they realize they're 30 and want to settle.

Men throw away their youth partying, playing video games, smoking weed and indulging in hedonism until they realize they're 25-30 and want to find a mission.

Like Jordan Peterson said "nobody's excited about you if you're 30 and you're just kinda looking where you belong". Go out there, do shit. Invest in multiple interests, see what has potential to grow and monetize, invest heavier on those, keep the ones you enjoy doing but cannot monetize around as hobbies.

Shit's not rocket science.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Ok cool. So it is an "elephant in the room", so do we just not talk about it because it is too late? Why are we here in the Redpill to begin with? And geez, if it ain't rocket science, than surely more people would be following Jordan Peterson's words since it would benefit them greatly (BTW I love Mr. Peterson). Sorry brother. It ain't vibes. It is real life. I can hold on to my past and let it torment me (yeah I was one of those gaming losers you mention), or I can own my past and let it set the mold for the iron I want to be casted into (based on my experiences). It may be an n=1 experience, but I will take that over the bluepill nightmare of current modern day society. Stay thirsty brother.

[–]BreakingRed_ -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

So it is an "elephant in the room", so do we just not talk about it because it is too late?

We don't usually talk about here because the truth is not comfortable. It's better to become something than nothing but the older you get sitting on one's weed the lower the altitude you can climb. The kid that eats and shits self-improvement since his 17-18's will reach higher than me starting in my 35.

The majority of kids who hit university can't wait to finally fuck around and work on them "later", and that's just blue pill bullshit. The earlier the better. Every "talented" man started practicing his perceived biological gift before he hit 12.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Disagree highly, and trying to compare oneself to someone else (older or younger) is a strategy for failure. That is BP bullshit that will fuck you for the remaining years of your life. Do you think Michael Jordan would have become Jordan if he was the best badass his whole life? Maybe. But I would guess probably not. It took a lot of anguish and suffering to achieve his goal....to dominate and prove to others his own worth. Even talking about rich young children...or women in modern day society, the same theme arises each time. Born with it all = no struggle. A few will reach awesome heights and a contentment few have, but most will fall harder than they ever could imagine.

BTW...I am not making comparisons to myself, I am not Michael Jordan. And I am pretty sure few if any 17-18 year olds shit self-improvement from day 1. IQ does not equate to experience, and no 17-18 year old has that experience, no matter how smart or how gifted you think they may be.

[–]BreakingRed_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're far better to start sooner than later. I'm happy with whatever progress I can get at this point (I arrived late in the red pill party) but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be better off if I were to have an actual father figure who knows his shit.

[–]Shakydrummer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hear you on climbing the mountain. Had my fun with women but it's a waste of time and money right now - focusing on some personal victories right now instead and hitting my 'new years resolutions' a month early.

[–]Strider_Tolstoi 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I couldn't agree more with the point number one, processed food is really bad for your health, for us men specially soy.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. I don't touch soy with a 10 foot stick. Too much phytoestrogen and too much processing. It is truly gross stuff.

[–]canuckssingh 1 points1 points [recovered]

I lol’d at the 135 pounds rock hard muscle

[–]ozenmacher[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

5'5" doesn't go very far in the weight dept when you are lean. Plus weight in general is not good for mountaineering or rock climbing. Have to be lean as possible when it comes to efficiency. I call it "usable" muscle.

[–]Discussion10x 1 points1 points [recovered]

Humans are social animals. Everything you listed is an isolated single person activity. Having discomfort and no happiness and spending time alone will cause a persons social skills to worsen. A lonely man who lifts and masters something like philosophy or mathematics could be driven and healthy physically but if they have bad social skills they will always be lonely. There are people with no mission or self-improvement drive that still have friends and relationships and are happy because they have good social skills. They don't care about being mentally tough or being a master. What do you have to say to those people?

[–]ozenmacher[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Climbing and mountaineering and camping, not social? I disagree highly. I have a stable and very supportive group of friends with a "FILGO" mindset (Fuck it Lets Go). And we have a bond that most people will never have because we trust one another and we go through hell together. And I don't say "fuck happiness", I say fuck searching for a human emotion of any kind for your life goals, making all your life choices based off an emotion. Stoicism helps with that by accepting ALL the human emotions. Western society has largely turned into a hedonistic society where all we strive for as a society is pleasure, "happiness", and instant gratification, whether people know it or not.

And in my experience, people who are "happy" BECAUSE of their relationships end up going off the rails hard when those relationships dissolve, which they will if you are dependent upon them for your "happiness" and life validation. I was once there myself. But you see it all the time in the modern world...people on a never-ending roller coaster ride of emotion that stunts their self-growth because of their 100% dependence on others. Have friends and have solid relationships, but don't depend on them without being able to support yourself, first.