MetaKnow yourself. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1ozaku7

And by this I mean actually observing yourself and being honest about yourself. I for one learned that I don't have any interest in other people and that I am a social retard in some way. Which I see in peoples faces when they talk to me and it explains why they lose interest in me. I need to take care of myself better by working out, feeding myself properly and have a proper sleeping rythm (which I don't have). They have nothing to look up to when they look at me appearance wise. I am not fat, nor am I ripped, I don't look like a slob, but my hair and brows could use a pair of scissors.

People have their own interests, their own lifestyle, but there is a time when a person just has to make small sacrifices in order to obtain what he desires, a form of investment in someone, so that someone would also invest in you. Not making them invest in you, but making them want to invest in you by their own choice and desire because you think you are worth it.

It's what friendships and relationships are based on. It is by being with a positive person who isn't swayed from his path by breezes coming by, someone you look up to because he is well educated, respectful and takes good care of himself, which you can see by their behaviour and appearance. Someone who shows interest in you and you just admire.

Realize that the source of your problems in the social and sexual market place might very likely just be you. Not just you, but your specific traits. I have a hard time socializing with people because I simply don't give a shit or I am spaced out in my own logical world where emotion doesn't take place and I suffer from it socially. If you can't criticize yourself objectively, you are a weak person. A strong person knows what his weaknesses are, how these weaknesses influence him and his life, and can identify what he can do about it to improve himself. Which is exactly why interviewers ask what your weaknesses are, and some don't even realize why they are asking it. Because recognizing weakness is another strength, adressing them is an even bigger one.

Observe yourself, listen to yourself, learn about yourself, observe others how they treat other people and observe how you treat the same people. See how these people respond. I noticed that just forgetting about the world, being a happier person in general, dismissing seriousness and logic in favor of just some silly fun actually made me socialize much easier and I am happier because of it.

Do you know yourself? Really? Truly knowing yourself is the first key to becoming the best version of yourself. How can you improve if you don't even know who you are? Would you recognize yourself on the street? Would you like this person if you would meet him? You should be your own best friend, and that means that if you would have the opportunity to meet yourself out there, this person should be everything that you would totally love. Describe that person, become that person.

[–][deleted] 125 points126 points  (4 children)

Excellent post. Not recognizing your flaws is the biggest flaw in itself. Mastering this skill will make you a better man because eventually you learn to not be sorry for yourself but simply be different. This is the truly alpha state of mind.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would add that being too self-critical is also a flaw. All about that balance.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 1 point2 points  (1 child)

One might say a..."meta-flaw"?

[–]fakeconfidentman2 69 points70 points  (17 children)

"If you can't criticize yourself objectively, you are a weak person. A strong person knows what his weaknesses are, how these weaknesses influence him and his life, and can identify what he can do about it to improve himself."

This is something I've been thinking about lately. I was recently dumped by a unicorn - or at least, someone who felt like a unicorn at the time - and my friends of course all said things like "don't beat yourself up about it, it's not you, etc." To which I replied "when the same thing keeps happening you have to look at yourself and ask if maybe you are the problem". I've been doing an abundant amount of self-reflection and research since then and that's what led me to revisiting TRP. I've since learned what I did wrong and how I completely self-sabotaged myself. Even though I'd previously red TRP material and understood the basic concepts I completely failed to execute any of it. Self-reflection and understanding your weaknesses is crucial to self-improvement.

[–]42-AX 14 points15 points  (12 children)

You need more sources of masculine (TRP) energy around you. Create an environment that will keep your beta tendencies in check.

[–]BackedUpCum 7 points8 points  (6 children)

And how exactly do you suggest we do that?

[–]42-AX 18 points19 points  (4 children)

  • Lift everyday
  • Workout with other people (or at least near other people, i.e. a public gym)
  • Make something with your hands (it's proven men are natural tinkers - a wood shop class in high school raises overall grades for a male student)
  • Display what you made in your home (this reminds you of your accomplishments)
  • Decorate your home like you want to (don't limit yourself to a tiny man cave, that's pathetic)
  • Socialize with just men time to time
  • Compete with other men (literally anything serious or silly - it's in your genes to win)
  • Call women "bitches" or "hoes" when talking with men (don't overdo this)
  • Find men with similar ambitions, befriend them (this one takes the longest)

I am still creating my masculine environment so these ideas are being tested right now. So far each one has been a success.

[–]unkg 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Call women "bitches" or "hoes" when talking with men (don't overdo this)

This sounds a bit weird, care to elaborate?

[–]42-AX 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Calling women bitches/hoes brings women down from their imaginary pedestal. Do it too much and you become incel.

[–]unkg 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do this myself to be honest, but never really thought of it as something that helps or how it does help. It's true though. Now when I think about it, it gives you a mental reminder that girls in general should only be a sidepiece in your life, nothing more.

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

// , The conversational trope of "talk about behavior of a female, other man brings up similar behavior, conclusion is reached" is a great place to throw in a soulful, confident, "bitches, amiright?" with a shake of the head.

[–]JayBthirty4 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I can't even describe how much my new job has helped me in that manner, it can be tough but fuck is it helpful. This coming from a guy who had rather reserved grandpas growing up and no father.

[–]BackedUpCum 2 points3 points  (2 children)

But if you don’t talk to women, wouldn’t that be beta? Only beta men don’t/avoid/cannot talk to women.

Even as an ugly man you should try and talk to hoes or else it can be seen as beta dude. Alphas OWN not just know women around them. Ugly Alphas are usually seen as mean/creep/aggressive/ not well mannered males because their attractiveness doesn’t justify their behaviour. To women only chad can act mean and aggressive and be taken positively.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can choose to be a pussy and not strive for what you want. Absolutely. The reason Betas exist is to serve.

[–]JayBthirty4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't talk to women?? Myyyy friend I don't see women! When I do I don't necessarily avoid it, just when its appropriate and I don't really fuck with hoes either man any lady worth my time while I'm improving isn't worthy of that title y'know. Comment hardly applies.

[–]CanuckinFL 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yes. The “unicorns” (lol) are what get all of us to come in here. Then you realize they’re all unicorns. All 3.7 billion of them, and almost perfectly predictable. Then you come back down to earth, and discontinue the practice of thinking your fairy tale exists, and/or that women stand much of any chance of being virtuous, since being virtuous was never their concern anyway.

Then you realize they just ‘virtue signal’, to each other, and that you don’t matter shit to them except as a bit player in a cheesy, cliche’d set of opposite wants that no man can fulfill- And .....then they stop being unicorns.

[–]calicotrinket 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I realised why I'm so bad in even making the first move - I treated every girl like a unicorn, but in that way I was being the perfect "nice guy" inherently killed off any hopes of even being in a relationship because I hoped that girls are virtuous, when they are not.

[–]notonlyplace 3 points4 points  (0 children)

there is no right and wrong, good or bad, when it comes to emotions, as long as they are your true intent.

Your friend was right, I had women leave me because they wanted someone more dominant, this wasn't a flaw on me because I wasn't that person.

As long as you did you, you didn't do anything wrong.

[–]CanuckinFL 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Everyone has a different path to this point, so I won’t dream of speaking prescriptively for other men-

But for the love of god, lads-learn to like yourself resoundingly, unapologetically, actively, and unflinchingly in a world increasingly targeting the masculine as the source of the ‘problem’.

I realized when I swallowed the pill that much of the nonsense in my head was put there by mom, and reemphasized constantly by the media that surrounds us, I felt stupid for being male, and I come from a family of alpha males. Now gtfo with that. I gotta like me enough for at least 6 of them. ;)

[–]BewareTheOldMan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Self-introspection, detailed and honest self-evaluation, and genuine self-critique leads to self-actualization and ultimately overall self-improvement.

If you know your enemy and you know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself you will succumb in every battle.

-Sun Tzu, Chinese Philosopher/Military Strategist

[–]Heinzdoofens 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Exactly this. I'm pretty sure no guy here got oneitis here just when his life was going smooth.

Either you were addicted to some porn or drugs or masturbation or anything or had failed in something, and you saw her as a cure.

In the end, you were the one who solved your life problems on your own. Maybe she helped by rejecting you.

[–]1ozaku7[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Maybe she has seen the good strong side in you but eventually was repelled by the bad weak side. Recognize that, amplify and eliminate. Not for her, but for yourself. In my last relationship I got criticized for alot of things, and you know what... She was right, but I was not ready to accept it. Either that or it just pissed me off that it felt like I'm not doing it for myself, but rather for her and I didn't want to be controlled like that. Either way, I learned and I have now the mental freedom to work on it.

[–]biglaughingcock 20 points21 points  (3 children)

This is called emotional intelligence. The first part of EQ is self awareness and that means knowing how you react to certain situations, what triggers your emotions, and how those emotions affect your behavior and others around you.

[–]Coltrane97 1 point2 points  (2 children)

EQ is a very flawed concept that seems to have been popularised by a journalist in his book about what he personally called "emotional intelligence".
It's arguably so popular nowadays as a term because "if you don't have an high IQ, you can always have an high EQ!!"as if a pathetic number would make you get anything more than a temporary ego boost.

The big five personality test and IQ tests are as far as I know superior in actually somewhat predicting how people will interpret the idea of themselves, the environments, how they generally will feel like they have to act in the world and how they actually will (with a higher probability)end up in a certain area in life.

The traits you mention that is supposed to be a part of "EQ" is really just wisdom and that is accumulated through life in different degrees depending on a lot of factors including those that are unknown.

To clarify in a short way, there is no compelling scientific evidence (as far as I know)that actually puts emotional intelligence into a comprehensible context in relation to what we already seem to know about human behaviour.

There is in other words in all probability no such thing as "emotional intelligence".

I'm not blaming you for believing in it though. Mainstream media portrays it sometimes as if it were fully legit.

[–]biglaughingcock 0 points1 point  (1 child)

There's very little scientific evidence to prove behavior in general. EQ is just one way of looking at it, and OP basically just described the self awareness element of EQ. I never really thought of EQ as a number or something to compare to IQ, its just a behavioral model for understanding and regulating your mood so that you can actively reduce negative impacts on relationships and develop positive responses to emotions that come up during certain situations. There are four other elements to EQ that you are also overlooking that tie it all together into a comprehensive theory, therefore it is not the bullshit you claim it to be.

[–]Coltrane97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Scientific evidence" might have been wrong of me to say, I agree but we already have the big five which predicts behaviour. Seems like introversion and extraversion for instance can be predicted with an accuracy of about 70% (if I remember correctly) by just observing babies and their behaviour. Some people also seems to be more sensitive than others according to some interesting research (some use the term "highly sensitive person" but I don't think that term is used by many scientists) which might make someone more prone to question behaviours of others and ones self which might increase the probability of accumulating wisdom and generally being self aware. This sensitivity can be found among many animals, even certain insects. But nothing what I can see points towards it being something worth calling "intelligence". You could then call any personality temperament a different kind of intelligence.

I don't see why any of what you just wrote would make it any less bullshit. You like the model and think it's useful and that's where it stops really. But of course I'm open to change my mind.

Edit: I shall mention also that EQ is in fact a model that isn't at all as popular among scientists as within other communities, some people swear on its usefullness.

Edit2: Also, look at any EQ test. It is basically just a narrow focused personality test.

[–]shredzro 5 points6 points  (3 children)

How can I do this though. As in what questions should I ask myself to focus on specifically?

[–]Camjd10 17 points18 points  (1 child)

As someone who has tried to become more mindful in his everyday life, I have thought about a few things with regards to social interactions. When I am in a conversation with someone and it is going great vs when I am with someone and it's just a slog, what is the difference? Usually for me, in the great conversation, I'm not thinking and words just come out, I'm in a state of comfortability. I'm are not trying to do anything, I'm just talking and enjoying myself. I have noticed that when I'm around certain groups of people I will lose this comfortability and become caught up in my head. I worry that what I say won't be good enough for this group of people, that I am not funny enough or cool enough and so I think about my words and as a result of my body language and even the words I say become uncomfortable, reflecting my internal comfortability. What I've been working on is shedding this imposter syndrome and just being content with myself, not seeking the approval of others before the approval of myself. Every time I catch myself in my head I ask, what am I trying to prove and why? Why am I not just enjoying the moment?

This is just about social interaction, but I think analyzing interactions with people is a good start at finding when you are and are not yourself.

[–]RealizedGainz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your point is a great one. Focusing so much on everything you're doing isn't the way to come across as someone who truly owns their shit. If you care too much then you won't feel as good about yourself and what you're doing, and others naturally won't respect you as much as they would if you just owned yourself

[–]1ozaku7[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look in the mirror, think how you behaved in the eyes of the person you have been socializing with. When you are home alone, replicate how you talked to a person. Speak it out loud, do the same facial expression. You have no idea how you sound like, how you look like, anything. The best thing is just to have someone record you doing your thing and watching it.

Many people cringe so hard at seeing themselves on video because they are seeing someone else, not themselves.

[–]domable19 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Good advice, i know my weakness still lies in socialization. I prefer peace over drama. Btw Did you just call me a social retard? I wanna confirm before i start baking yo bitchass🤔😡

[–]1ozaku7[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

First of all, keep talking like you did in your last sentence if you want to attract trash. You should recognize it yourself tho.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How does one begin to know his true self?

Meditation. Silence the mind and your true self will surface.

[–]GunnarX 2 points3 points  (2 children)

In regards to the interview question ‘what are your weaknesses?’, i was always told to talk about a strength as if it was detrimental.

For example - ‘I pay too much attention to detail’ or ‘I have trouble taking breaks’.

Personally, I wouldn’t recommend phrasing your true weaknesses to a potential employer.. you are trying to sell yourself, not have them pass on you.

I certainly agree that understanding your weaknesses (and strengths) is essential for personal growth. Correct me if I’m wrong; but I believe Jordan Peterson’s self-authoring program helps with all of this.

[–]1ozaku7[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I have been taught the same before, but if you think about it... Do you truly believe anyone is without a weakness? Don't you think that naming that "weaker strength" is just bullshitting around the bush?

I would respect a person so much more if they could tell me something they truly suck, versus some "oh yeah, I can exploit that weakness". Ofcourse, if you are messy and bad with numbers you will never be hired as an accountant, but even in that situation you would be doing yourself a favor.

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

// , I used to assume people were in the "respect honesty more than a suspect facade".

I no longer do this, though, unless I get very, very clear signals that they value it. Honesty is NOT THE BEST POLICY. It is just another policy.

[–]2Dmva100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You gotta be hard on yourself because nobody else is going to do it for you. A man doesn't become successful by allowing his ego to succumb to the crab bucket mentality for the sake of comfort, no, he attacks it to keep himself in line with reality. Thus, ambition is born.

[–]GunnarX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course it’s beating around the bush. As mentioned in TRM, self deprecation should never be done voluntarily.

In an ideal world, we would be 100% honest 100% of the time. But this is reality and we are only human.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that being aware of your weaknesses is important. Taking action on your weaknesses, that is where the real power is though.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That last paragraph is gold. Thanks for the well written post.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points1 points [recovered]

I wouldn't be my own friend. I'm only out for my own interests.

[–]rocacu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fuck, someone give us advice on this one.

[–]gELSK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

// , Your interests would overlap, though.

[–]notonlyplace 1 point2 points  (3 children)

A strong person knows what his weaknesses are, how these weaknesses influence him and his life, and can identify what he can do about it to improve himself.

Are they weakneses though or who you are, the good thing about women is they tend to love men who love themselves for who they are.

This is why Elen gets divorce raped but women are supporting a bum who uses them for weed money and sits at home all day.

Truly knowing yourself is the first key to becoming the best version of yourself.

Your true self, forget about best, if you focus on becoming and accepting yourself as you truely are rather than saying "I'm doing X wrong, I need to fix Y,I need to become better", you will always be in a circle.

Realize that the source of your problems in the social and sexual market place might very likely just be you.

Some social groups I was good at like video games, some I was bad at, I didn't share most of my peers interests, spending $600 on shoes, constantly flirting with girls, I was more into making money, and learning and competing. I wasn't good at sports and I'm still not and have no interests but I'm good at video games and I play with friends I make on their.

So while the problem was me, this isn't something to fix

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Are they weakneses though or who you are

Why can't they be both?

This is why Elen gets divorce raped but women are supporting a bum who uses them for weed money and sits at home all day.

Perhaps some women like weak men, as long as those men like themselves. Something tells me, though, that those "bums" have things going for them that compensate for their weaknesses.

Also, with regard to video games, remember that some parts of your life affect other parts. For instance, if you really like debate club, this has an effect on your conversation ability elsewhere. If you really like yoga class, it will have a positive effect on your posture, and, furthermore, sense of confidence.

Most entertainment video games don't really have this "affecting other things" phenomenon. At least, not as much. They are kind of causally disconnected from the rest of reality, while most other hobbies are connected to everything else.

[–]notonlyplace 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Most entertainment video games don't really have this "affecting other things" phenomenon.

video games connect you to technology, a billion dollar industry which is why feminist want the tech game, learning to hack, learning to cheat on video games, learning to set up bots, learning to sale gold

I taught myself programming and had a 6 figure salary at 20

[–]gELSK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

// , I stand corrected! Fuck yeah

My brother has almost finished the code for his new game, actually.

It's just in my experience, users of digital entertainment rarely become coders

[–]Epictetus2017 1 point2 points  (2 children)

One of the first steps to improving my status was looking at my own life from a coldly rational perspective. I severed all emotional connection, or affiliation with my own identity. This is very difficult to do, because your ego wants to protect you from doing this. It's a painful thing to reflect on, and requires humility.

In my case, I had some physical appearances hangups as a result of being a formerly obese man. I made use of some of the facial analyser apps with photos. (A very useful tool if you can handle the the truth about your own genetics) The ones that objectively rate you with a number. Then I took a cold hard look at the results and began working on improvements.

It was one of the ways I began to build my frame.

[–]gELSK 0 points1 point  (1 child)

// , Which apps? I have a similar issue, due to being too skinny

[–]Epictetus2017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used anaface, and I spoke with a plastic surgeon.

Turns out I had an objective rating between 7.1 to 8.0 with my current fitness. (5 photo sample)

The surgeon (a woman) simply took a look at me and said what they would change for more aesthetic appeal. (Remove double chin, could use minor eye work, liposuction. )

It made sense, women used to call me handsome (not that I had any idea how to capitalize on it) before I spiralled into addiction and obesity. But i needed objective truths to get past the false impressions I had formed over years of self abuse and blue pill bullshit.

Happy folks generally do not come to TRP after all.

I got better results then I expected, and then I knew exactly what I had to work on. When that happened, it became a lot harder to break my frame.

[–]Andgelyo 2 points3 points  (2 children)

"Know yourself, know your worth nigga"-Drake (0-100/The Catch Up)

Sorry had to post this when i saw this lmao

[–]ThrownFarAsHellAway0 1 point2 points  (1 child)

😂😂😂😂😂 I thought the same exact fucking thing when entering here

[–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

6 ain’t friendly but that’s where I lay up! (No not from Canada, obligatory random drake quote)

[–]Scandinavianredpill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my only real weakness now is that I overestimate what I am capable of at times, which makes me commit to just slightly more than I can chew off. However I did get the good physique I wanted. I got a great career, well respected. Not a egocentric douchebag but someone that people like to turn to for advice. coming from being fat and undisciplined (even though it was just temporarily), it feels good to be myself again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i liked your post very much especially the last part about truly knowing yourself i came to that conclusion as well not so long ago that we don't really really know each other all of us who we ourselves are and who everyone else is,we just say things about each other things we have heard things we think others want to hear and not true things we know about ourselves.

[–]fur10us_falcon 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I know my flaws. My biggest is that I hate women so much it depresses me to take no action like a negative spiral. At least I recognize the spiral just gonna take time to heal from the wounds they left.