And by this I mean actually observing yourself and being honest about yourself. I for one learned that I don't have any interest in other people and that I am a social retard in some way. Which I see in peoples faces when they talk to me and it explains why they lose interest in me. I need to take care of myself better by working out, feeding myself properly and have a proper sleeping rythm (which I don't have). They have nothing to look up to when they look at me appearance wise. I am not fat, nor am I ripped, I don't look like a slob, but my hair and brows could use a pair of scissors.
People have their own interests, their own lifestyle, but there is a time when a person just has to make small sacrifices in order to obtain what he desires, a form of investment in someone, so that someone would also invest in you. Not making them invest in you, but making them want to invest in you by their own choice and desire because you think you are worth it.
It's what friendships and relationships are based on. It is by being with a positive person who isn't swayed from his path by breezes coming by, someone you look up to because he is well educated, respectful and takes good care of himself, which you can see by their behaviour and appearance. Someone who shows interest in you and you just admire.
Realize that the source of your problems in the social and sexual market place might very likely just be you. Not just you, but your specific traits. I have a hard time socializing with people because I simply don't give a shit or I am spaced out in my own logical world where emotion doesn't take place and I suffer from it socially. If you can't criticize yourself objectively, you are a weak person. A strong person knows what his weaknesses are, how these weaknesses influence him and his life, and can identify what he can do about it to improve himself. Which is exactly why interviewers ask what your weaknesses are, and some don't even realize why they are asking it. Because recognizing weakness is another strength, adressing them is an even bigger one.
Observe yourself, listen to yourself, learn about yourself, observe others how they treat other people and observe how you treat the same people. See how these people respond. I noticed that just forgetting about the world, being a happier person in general, dismissing seriousness and logic in favor of just some silly fun actually made me socialize much easier and I am happier because of it.
Do you know yourself? Really? Truly knowing yourself is the first key to becoming the best version of yourself. How can you improve if you don't even know who you are? Would you recognize yourself on the street? Would you like this person if you would meet him? You should be your own best friend, and that means that if you would have the opportunity to meet yourself out there, this person should be everything that you would totally love. Describe that person, become that person.