CultureThis is my reasoning on why indulging in Porn has the potential to cultivate if not outright create BP tendencies in otherwise functional men. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by homodirectus

Spitballing here gents but if you take a gander despite your busy day, I hope I can add to someone’s quality of life.

Porn is distinct in that the majority of the experience is fundamentally based on the female perspective. The penetration, the excitement, the domination, and the “blissful”masochism, ie the “surrender”; these are the foundational elements of the pornographic experience. Even when the video itself centers from the male perspective still, the engrossing element is the activity of the female: the shameful pleasure derived from doing something “naughty”. This is essentially sex from the female perspective: it is pleasure based and requires submission. From my experience, now that I am 27, this is not at all what sex is like for a “RP”man (for lack of a better phrase.) What I mean to say is a man who is conscious of his position and keenly aware of the effects of all his actions. When I was younger, I masturbated to porn all the time. When I finally lost my virginity, the experience of sex was, embarrassingly, disappointing. It was not nearly as pleasurable as I anticipated. I was expecting earth shattering pleasure and kaleidoscopic visions of ecstasy. Instead, I shamefully recall thinking “porn felt better.” I was too young and too naive then to explain this disturbing sensation. After many more sexual experiences, I ran into the dreaded performance anxiety. I did not know it then but this was directly attributable to porn. You see at that time when I had sex, I did not recognize this then, I was expectant. I was waiting for something to happen. like when you sit into a rollercoaster but it doesn’t move. I continued to expect something to take me and force me to experience some new wonderful sensation. In effect, porn had programmed me to want to experience sex like a woman. My sexual state of mind had been high jacked. I became very disturbed by this. I sought remedies in various different ways before I finally nailed down the proper culprit. I must have fucked dozens of hookers trying to prove to myself that my dick worked just fine; and for the most part it did. But there was still an element missing, I felt. I tried NoFap out of desperation. I got a few good streaks in but never anything major, probably never longer than a month. This was hell and felt like unnecessary torture but, something changed. After a few months on and off NoFap, I had sex. The experience was completely different. Because I felt so much sexual tension pent up, my aggression was through the roof. Full disclosure: I had always been the ultimate Beta as a lover. The whole nine yards: eating stank pussy when I didn’t want to; cumming too soon and caring about it; kissing and touching like a lesbian. Looking back on it now, I was a bitch. The sex after my NoFap break from self-abuse was one filled with choking, ass slapping and shit talk. I had never before felt inclined or attracted to aggressive sex in that way. It had never felt natural before this occasion. But now, I had apparently stopped subconsciously focusing on my desire for pleasure and more on the effect my actions were having on my partner. When I fucked her I didn’t think about how good it felt, but about how hard I could thrust to make her lose her shit like the bitch she was. I enjoyed slapping her, the power trip of feeling her pulse in my grip excited me. I cannot tell you gentlemen how novel this experience was for me at that time. It was as if I had become a man, truly. Afterwards, I ruminated. What was different? What had changed about me? I concluded that what had changed was my perception of what sex was. You see, sex for a woman is an experience akin to what I have described in the initial paragraphs of this writing; a surrender in expectation of being taken for a ride. This is the exact same thing that happens when I log onto xhamster: I lay back and expect to be taken for a ride. After so many years of that, I had effectively cucked myself.

I learned that sex for the man I had become was a continuous exercise in “how bad can I fucking break this bitch”. How much of a cum-slut pleasure slave can I turn this bitch into. My own pleasure was of minimal importance so my focus wasn’t centered on how hard I was or was I going to come or not; the only thing I cared about was, and this is going to sound very corny, the showcase of my manhood. It was almost like a performance but, not in the sense of “how well can I do this” but rather “how much shit can I do to this girl that would piss me off if done to me but makes her moan and shake uncontrollably from the sensation”. My orgasm at the end was not even the icing on the cake, it was the little fucking cherry. Sex wasn’t about pleasure anymore, it was about what came after. That glow I felt as I pulled my flaccid and filthy dick from out of her crevice and stomped my way into the bathroom to wash myself without a word as she lay there trying to put her reality back together. This defining experience unique to being a man was one that indulging in porn had stolen from me. Nothing had changed about me physically; what had changed was my sexual psychology.

In conclusion, I no longer indulge in porn. Ever. I try only to masturbate when I’ve gone at least a week without release; usually more, as jerking it too often fucks with my confidence as well. Not sure why but I don’t care if “why” matters. Dropping porn from my life has done much to help me assert myself in this misguided and paradoxical world and I encourage anyone struggling with fully ingesting that RP to beware of porns indoctrinating effects. Just my two cents.

Edit: I am NOT advocating NOFAP. It was a part of my experience so I had to detail it. While I think monitoring how much you masturbate is important, permanent blu balling is not something I subscribe to. Please read the post more carefully. Porn is what I think is toxic not busting a nut when you can’t focus.

Edit 2: like I’ve previously stated in this post, this is my anecdotal experience. Not every man has had an issue like this. I wanted to get it off my chest and see if I wasn’t the only one. Porn fucked my perspective up and maybe it did nothing to you. Got it. But the TRP is one of the reasons I even think this way and have the tools to self analyze my behavior; I can’t deny how shitty an influence porn has had on my life. Just being honest.

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle 217 points218 points  (24 children)

Porn is the worst thing to happen to men ever. Millions of men who can't or won't have sex because of high speed internet porn. Be happy you climbed out of the hole and work on those millions of women left over from the inequity.

[–]pevans12 48 points49 points  (6 children)

Millions and Millions of men as we continue to evolve will fall victim to sitting in empty bedrooms fapping away to mindless internet porn.

First it starts off with just a tiny look, and before you know it, the mind races and searches for more and more filth.

Pity and shame for the future generations.

[–]CountVP 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Has anyone considered this may be by design? If the elites were trying to diminish the birth rate this would be the best way to do it

[–]Kitygoesrawr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

to red pilled for red pill

[–]GarethBaleWannabe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed, what a way to short circuit the primary reward system of men en masse.

[–]banjew 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Not for me. I fap like there is no tomorrow, and also fuck a lot. Both things are quite different and complement in some sense.

Currently I'm in the mood of a good fuck, not porn. At 3AM at night migth be different.

[–]coco5440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! Its not like you have to safeguard your sacred emissions.

[–]enkae7317 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I still can't fathom the minds of the people who fervently support fapping and porn indulgent. On this subreddit too! They treat no-fap as if its some kind of black book that one should never do. And constantly talk down on the redpilled nofappers. Now I'm not saying QUIT it all at once, but fapping 1-2x a day can't be good for you in ANY way.

[–]D0rklord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Everything in moderation is fine

[–]Trpogre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just fucked 3 of my plates this weekend. Cancelled first dates with a 19 and a 20 year old and already made plans with a 25 year old for our 2nd meetup in a couple of days.

Oh, and I jerked off to Asian cum swallowing whores at least once each day.

Don't see the problem?

[–]JohnIan101 3 points4 points  (7 children)


The problem is a serious lacking....

Knowning when to stop.

Like going to a restaurant and can't stop shoving food into your mouth. Because there's food all around you.

The problem has never been about porn, but folks with an inability to self-govern.

I enjoy porn, have a DVD collection - yes I buy.

This is something I indulge. The thing is - I have things to do. Places to be. Friends. A life in short. I enjoy eating at restaurants, but I don't go everyday. Or feel compelled to do.

This is a part of my life, like a good cookie; turns out I outgrew cupcakes (too sweet).

It's a treat and nothing more; that's what porn is.

What you're speaking of ThatOneDrunkUncle is men/man-children who were not tought to say 'when'.

And let's be totally honest. They have something wrong with them.

If it were not porn, it would be something else; food, cars, cutting, clothes, drugs, fill in the blank. They have an obsessive personality.

I suspect the reward/treat lesson as a child was replace with giving in to them - to be quiet or fade into the background by parents.

Where is self control? Or even serious accountability?

There is none, only victimhood.

There's the real problem.

[–]FaderOne 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Buy a magazine… Our fathers did the right way.

I agree with what you said.


[–]JohnIan101 9 points10 points  (0 children)



This should be inherit to common sense.

[–]basebool 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This is why i hate people saying here "you must quit porn you beta bitch!".

Just dont do it every fuckin day and if it doesn't negatively effect me, then fuck off. It shouldn't be taught that free time can't be used however you want, just make sure you actually have a life of lifting, working on your career, social group, pussy, etc.

[–]1mental_models 9 points10 points  (2 children)

This is exactly the reason that while something like NoFap, NoPorn, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, quitting smoking or caffeine, etc, etc... is a really nice personal self-improvement, but not Red Pilled, per se. NoFap happens to be trending, and I guess the mods are willing to sacrifice quality of TRP, in favor of traffic. Two of the ‘top’ threads today are NoFap...

If NoFap or Alcoholics Anonymous or finding God (or whatever club or movement) helped you on your path - great, congrats. While it is self-improvement, this shit isn’t red pilled. If I happen to read bullshit like the OP testimonial, I’ll call it out, even if the post is mainstream popular, and I get 20 downvotes.

[–]we_are_compromised 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And all of these support groups maybe be helpful to people who have an addiction, but often times I see these people projecting their own issues on to everyone else who indulges at their own discretion. Porn is not a problem for everyone and there are a lot of people who would not benefit from NoFap.

[–]JohnIan101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If NoFap or Alcoholics Anonymous or finding God (or whatever club or movement) helped you on your path - great, congrats.

In terms of addiction, sure. Okay. But that's it. To make yourself better, the road to equilibrium. Yes.

But I see this being given as the solution for mens issues. As if this is the only answer. Like a club looking for new members.

Trying quite hard to cover up something that has deep roots - a flaw concealed than addressed, an addictive personality.

And minus porn, it will manifest itself in another way. With the same life damaging results.

[–]pbgswd 64 points65 points  (5 children)

In effect, porn had programmed me to want to experience sex like a woman.

holy shit. This. And thank you for writing a quality post.

[–]homodirectus[S] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I just want to help people like me man. Thanks for the love.

[–]marksmanko 1 points1 points [recovered]

What if OP was just a faggot?

[–]pbgswd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

.... then he is a faggot that has taken the red pill?

[–]fullspeedornothing- 1 points1 points [recovered]

There's a reason why the Israelis started broadcasting free porn to the Palestinians after invading (insert city name I forgot here).

Porn turns you into someone who expects something to happen. Abstaining turns you into the assertive aggressor.

Though other men may have different experiences, I am certain this is true for a decent percentage of the male population.

[–]indivisibleremainder 33 points34 points  (11 children)

It was Ramallah in the West Bank in 2002.

ppl need to listen to this interview it's only 10 minutes long: https://youtu.be/aWM4bJNpch0?t=2m

[–]PM_me_submissives 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I always thought that specific video was kind of stupid, since the video undermines the very topic it tries to talk about by distracting and by in practice subvertying the very practice of listening.

Here's the original complete interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQeRu7BUEr8

[–]indivisibleremainder 5 points6 points  (1 child)

youre right but i think that is somewhat the point of the video. it's more like an art-piece.. the image & audio are about as juxtaposed as possible.

it's also like a case-in-point for anybody that would be skeptical just listening to the audio, because you are sitting there either transfixed by the twerking or doing your best to ignore it no matter how "woke" you might be (illustrating how sexual liberalism can be an instrument of control).

finally, it's also an attempt to reprogram you because now instead of the standard libidinal response you might get from the flapping ass cheeks, your rational mind is (or should be) instead responding with a visceral disgust.

[–]fullspeedornothing- 1 points1 points [recovered]

Upvoted. Libido dominandi was eye-opening to me, yes.

A red-pill light of sorts. Pornography is a form of control. It takes something away valuable from you.

Again, close to nothing for some men, but for certain a noticeable change for some others.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The way you guys are arguing is just like the SJW's argue about capitalism, full on victim mentality. "Capitalism happened to us". Please step back from your conspiracy-victimhood-circle jerk and consider:

1) Porn is today produced primarily by non professionals

2) Porn actors are random sluts and producers are random sleazebags with 0 recourse looking to earn some quick cash

Wow, quite the global domination going on here. I bet Stacy 17 who just ran away from home with a meth addiction was hatching her secret master plan to mind controll all the Betas in the world by flashing her pussy to a camera. Jesus fuck this sub.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

this really shocked me and i don't think i will watch porn anymore

tnx bud War on the Mind i don't know how it got this bad :(

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

"Sin is slavery" True as fuck, but I would add to this

"Pleasure is slavery"

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

People seem to have this werid idea that we were born to have a good time. Life is suffering, if you're having a good time, enjoy the fuck out if it.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

People are experiencing pleasure more than ever in human history. No society has had access to food, water, entertainment, and housing like the modern western world has.

However, people are also experiencing a higher dissatisfaction rate then ever before in human history also. Many people who suffered still had satisfaction in their life's, because they had meaning. I think enjoying good times is fine, but that is no way to long term satisfaction. The only way through that is a belief in a path or a way of life, a deeper meaning. Whether it be god, or maybe the legacy of yourself, you must belief in something or you will be dissatisfied.

[–]WolfofAnarchy 39 points40 points  (4 children)

Porn turns you into someone who expects something to happen. Abstaining turns you into the assertive aggressor.

Correct, but I'd like to say that porn turns you into somewhat of a viewer. A referee on the field. You don't get to play; just watch. And that's why your brain always expects you to be the watcher; thus robbing you of your assertiveness.

[–]we_are_compromised 1 point2 points  (2 children)

That's like saying that watching football on tv turns you into someone who only likes watching football but not playing it. As though that would somehow rob you of the 'aggressiveness and assertiveness' to play the game who fantasizes about a 300lb linebacker with dreads supplanting his role as the man of the household in which he watches the sport. It's ridiculous to think that this is the average football viewer or the average porn viewer. I can't invalidate members of NoFap's lived experience but what I can say is that they are viewing this through very tinted lenses from the perspective of an addict with image issues who are very insecure about their own masculinity. This group of like-minded individuals only reinforces their preconceptions about what porn does to people in general and gives encourages them to pursue hyper-masculine endeavors. Honestly, there's a component of this that is immature on some level. It's like someone with aspergers who is struggling to find the social awareness to be normal and can't quite understand what normal behavior should look like. This 'alpha' that they have constructed is nothing like what a man should look like and in their pursuit to become him they end up doing really autistic shit like dick measuring contests. It's hard for me to express this in a way that they could understand and I think a lot of them are just lost causes. Posts like OP's are depressing.

[–]WolfofAnarchy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I stand by my point. Porn is weakening and pathetic.

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_INSANITY 6 points7 points  (2 children)

What the FUCK?! Can you give me a link that will verify this?

[–]PM_me_submissives 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There is a link available now

[–]biglaughingcock 17 points18 points  (1 child)

excerpt from Highet's "Man's unconquerable mind" (great book).

"When the Japanese invaded China...they paid special attention to the opium traffic, legalizing and encouraging it throughout the occupied areas, making it as easy as possible for their subjects to become addicts. The Germans did the same with vodka in occupied Poland. During Machado's dictatorship in Cuba, whenever his secret police foresaw an uprising, any expression of protest or cry of independent will, they announced programs of indecent films in the Havana theaters, to turn men's minds to other things. Drugs are a weapon," (Highet 55).

porn is a DRUG!

[–]halfback910 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fucking Communism. It'll mess you up.

[–]king_of_red_alphas 16 points17 points  (1 child)

If porn is actively interfering with your sex life (I.e. you can’t get it up or don’t pursue real sex with real women) then you have a problem.

If porn is something you indulge in because your sexual tension is interfering with normal life (like concentrating at work) and it helps your masturbation, then you should have at it.

It’s not so difficult.

Personally if I beat off watching Aidra Fox it only makes me want a girl with a round ass like that even more in real life not less.

I think a lot of younger guys just have zero self control with porn so they need to abstain completely.

[–]homodirectus[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah I definitely had a self control problem when I was younger.

[–]AudioRebellion 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Since I've quit porn and cut down on fapping significantly I think I've gained some insight and a slightly different perspective on men's relationship to porn.

Porn is the devil. I'd argue an unnecessary one. It's only ever taken my focus away from my goals, impeded my progress and lead to very poor decisions.

I think on some levels it is literal evil. In mythology there are creatures called "Succubus" and they feed on the sexual energy of men to the point it weakens them to kill them. There are ugly looking demons but they change their appearance to be attractive to the men. While they make you feel good they hide their true purpose in draining your life force.

When we fap to porn and continue to do some it makes you weaker. Little by little. 1 drop of water at a time and before you know it, you're drowning in the ocean. By that time it's very very difficult to stop because you're brain is already wired to see females as sexual objects and emulate extreme porn activities. But real life can never match the fantasy of porn. Imagine dating a girl that loves to pleasure you orally...but because you fap too much she is never able to get you off, ever.

In my case it would be several times a day. Vast amounts of porn, around 12TB at it's worst. When i finally broke free i felt like an addict.

I wrote this down earlier in the year but i cant remember where it is. I'm just remembering bits and pieces.

[–]askmrcia 3 points4 points  (1 child)

What if you fap without porn? Just on pure imagination?

Is the succubus still a thing?

[–]AudioRebellion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If i wasn't actively fucking a girl(s) 2 times a week in the shower was good enough.

[–]RandomUser9921 32 points33 points  (4 children)

I have made a similar experience. Before TRP my encounters with wimen were very unpleasant, some kissing, but sexual tension never really built up.

Some days ago, on a party, this was the second girl after finding out about TRP was different.

She made it easy, asked me for a dance. After some minutes I kissed her, but got nearly no reaction she just looked at me like nothing happend. This repeated multiple times and I already thought I would have fucked up or she just played me.

But then there was a turning point when my inner beast was unleashed. I began focusing more on deep eye contact, started physical push and pull during the dance. When pulling her towards me i started pressing her body with a certain force against mine and slightly pulled her hair. While this was definitly risky, she finally started showing me more reactions than her neutral face.

This build up to me pressing her against the wall, putting my hand on her throat during kissing and asking her if she liked that(she did) and even lightly spanking her.

The further I went the more she lit up and I felt more of a man then ever.

Then she began telling me that she felt like in 50 shades of grey, how wet she was and that we could have much fun together.

This still feels very surreal to me, but really was an eye opening experience on what can happen by working on your self and applying TRP to your life.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Good job kid. Keep it up. How old are you? You'll get to the point eventually where this type of occurrence of just another day at the office.

[–]RandomUser9921 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Thanks. I'm 22. I look forward to that point.

[–]halfback910 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That being said, the office is the one place you don't want to do it.

Trust me. Working with someone you've fucked is awful for all parties involved. At least in my experience.

You just can't have a professional relationship with that person ever again. Life isn't Mad Men, unfortunately. I made the mistake of thinking it was.

[–]Art3mis2093 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel like i can relate somewhat. Especially with the eye contact and touch. Happened about a month ago. Was easily the most masculine i have ever felt. There was a beauty to how real it was, she even told me she enjoyed herself on the date that followed. What i noticed is that i told a friend of mine that we didnt end up going anywhere with it, and he was really shocked and upset and said that i should demand an answer. Strange really. You are dead on. Its a sign on what working on oneself can achieve.

[–]Barvazon 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I don't remember where I've read that if you do something without cost, the product is you.

You have to think about why porn is mostly free.

[–]pateuvasiliu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Porn ain't free, they make money from ads and subs.

[–]ReversallasreveR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn't porn free because people steal it from paid sites and then re-upload to tube sites for ad revenue? They make money off of your views on the site, but so does YouTube.

[–]DreamscapeGamer 5 points6 points  (1 child)

“how much shit can I do to this girl that would piss me off if done to me but makes her moan and shake uncontrollably from the sensation”.

LMFAO. Live and learn. Well played, sir.

[–]homodirectus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Had to be brutally almost cringe honest man. Only way I know how to be.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Say what you want, some of us still jerk off and look at porn and can maintain healthy dating/sex lives. Masturbation is healthy in that it's a release. Looking at porn is probably no more harmful to your psychology than watching a violent movie or reading a comic book.

As long as you're not addicted to it or use it as an escape from some shitty life situation you're in.. I say fap away. Personally for me, it's never interrupted my drive to date, go to the gym, or simply just get shit done.

Plus it's generally just better to jerk off instead of sticking your dick in any random chick when you're horny as hell. Less risk of STDs or false rape allegations.

[–]homodirectus[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There is no one size fits all man. This post isn’t for people like you. Some people smoke 40 years and never develop cancer. You are an exception.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My main issue is that masturbating just makes me too sleepy, tired, and relaxed. Also fucks with my knees.

[–]GarethBaleWannabe 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Porn is distinct in that the majority of the experience is fundamentally based on the female perspective. The penetration, the excitement, the domination, and the “blissful”masochism, ie the “surrender”; these are the foundation elements of the pornographic experience

This line resonated with me because I think it describes the effect on porn on me and I think many other men. I think so many men are so used to watching sex from the perspective of the submissive, they subconciously think this is how the experience should be.

I am struggling to articulate my thesis, but I am gonna give it a go and what you think. I think this passivity not only comes in the form of porn, but in the form of all manner of entertainment. We are so used to watching someone else do what we deep down wish to do, we no longer want to go out and take it for ourselves anymore. Now watching things like suits, men dominating the corporate world, or sports, men dominating the playing field, is different from the porn experience because again your watching men being the aggressor, but your deriving pleasure from watching them therefore and projecting their accomplishments on to yourself.

Porn is a double whammy and the worst of them all, because your watching it from the submissive's perspective and your watching another man do what you crave deep down.

Lately these realizations started to develop in my mind because I started aggressively investing in high-risk/high-reward stocks. (weedstocks and cobalt) and I am having the time of my life because I spend hours researching the industry, understanding where the value is, the future projections. I've been at this for 4 months and I make more than my day job as a SW eng, and I am at the point where the money will flow in w/o much effort on my part until 2019/2020, where my net worth can reach the mid-high 100s. Not bad for a 25 year old. Bottom line going out and making it happen is far more pleasurable than then watching someone else do what you were meant to do.

Anyways I find the core content of your post applicable to other areas in life. I have been successful at avoiding porn for up to 2 to 3 weeks at a time, but I think now that I see the relation to the feeling and satisfaction from my investing efforts, I think I will be more motivated to ditch porn forever.

[–]homodirectus[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would recommend to never mess with porn again. In my life it has truly been an insidiously negative influence.

Good job on the stocks man! Hopefully I’ll have some money to invest in the coming year.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This is actually one of the most interesting and unique perspectives i've read on the topic in a while, and very helpful too. Thanks.

[–]homodirectus[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Every comment like this makes me feel like I’ve helped someone. Thank you.

[–]CosmicSpiral 22 points23 points  (10 children)

Porn is distinct in that the majority of the experience is fundamentally based on the female perspective.

A rather odd assessment considering the vast majority of pornography from antiquity to the modern era was made by men for men. How could the lewd drawings/sculptures from Crete and Rome, or the outrageous publication of Fanny Hill in 18th century England, and be based on the "female perspective"? Especially if we assume the gradual adaption of feminine prejudice on a societal level started in the mid-20th century?

Even when the video itself centers from the male perspective still, the engrossing element is the activity of the female: the shameful pleasure derived from doing something “naughty”. This is essentially sex from the female perspective: it is pleasure based and requires submission.

I would buy this if pornography showcased men indulging in the thrill of breaking taboos or if they were the ones that advocated sex as a natural aspect of life. In reality, male-dominated cultures both restricted sexual expression (knowing the potential power of the primal urge) and produced porn as a non-violent means of tempering it.

On the subject of what porn focuses on, the evidence of supporting themes is...thin. There's no combination of AF/BB traits that should exist if porn was feminine in nature; besides the recent uptick in MILF porn, there's little to none of the various rationalizations or solipsism that should exist if the hamster was guiding the train. The objects of fetishization are exclusively male-oriented too:

  • Male talent in porn generally treat the unfolding drama as par for the course. They serves as proxies for what the viewer wants to see themselves as.
  • Black masculinity as overwhelming and irresistible is a male thing, not a female thing. It comes from white men perceiving themselves as deficient and unable to satisfy women.
  • Girls being simultaneously lusted after and degraded for succumbing to mutual lust is a male thing - it's the basic idea that one's frame is so overwhelming that she becomes sucked into it. The extreme example would be those anime where the protagonist rapes a girl only for her to realize she loves it.
  • List of 20 other things that don't sync up with your premise.

It was not nearly as pleasurable as I anticipated. I was expecting earth shattering pleasure and kaleidoscopic visions of ecstasy. After many more sexual experiences, I ran into the dreaded performance anxiety. I did not know it then but this was directly attributable to porn. You see at that time when I had sex, I did not recognize this then, I was expectant. I was waiting for something to happen. like when you sit into a rollercoaster but it doesn’t move. I continued to expect something to take me and force me to experience some new wonderful sensation. In effect, porn had programmed me to want to experience sex like a woman.

You were impressionable and got played by the impossible fantasy porn presents. You couldn't capture the seemingly perfect experience or be the ideal archetype, which proceeded to turn into performance anxiety and low self-esteem. You thought you would magically transform into that guy who just knows how to fuck a bitch right...after all, you watched it happen 18,604 times right? This is normal for most people with your situation.

Porn sucks for most people because it's a lazy substitute for something better. It's the equivalent of trading a perfectly cooked steak for a bag of potato chips. By the time you've satiated your hunger on the latter, you have no desire for the former and feel like a greasy, tired slob. Over time you get used to the stench of grease and mild shame and forget there are better meals out there.

I learned that sex for the man I had become was a continuous exercise in “how bad can I fucking break this bitch”. How much of a cum-slut pleasure slave can I turn this bitch into.

Here's where I dispute your claim that you've transcended your previous bad experience and embraced RP truths.

That glow I felt as I pulled my flaccid and filthy dick from out of her crevice and stomped my way into the bathroom to wash myself without a word as she lay there trying to put her reality back together.

It's great that you're finally having enjoyable sex but really? The self-aggrandizement, the constant self-awareness of one's sexual performance and its supposed consequences, the emotional solipsism usually reserved as a pejorative for how women engage with the world: that's the language of porn. Dominance as the end goal of sex, assuming your self-satisfaction is the same as the girl's: this is the basic subtext of any porn video ever. So instead of assuming you will magically become a porn star when the time is right, you're now trying to be one.

I don't know if this is the adoption of an Alpha paradigm as much as you trying to convince yourself it is. It doesn't matter whether you flip on your habits as long as you insist on playing a rigged game.

[–]jonib0ni 12 points13 points  (5 children)

I don't disagree with what you said but I think you misunderstood some of the OP.

What he means is that viewing porn turns you into the passive participant. You don't really do anything except touching your dick, the sex experience itself is done to you by the actors on the screen. You're experiencing sex from a female perspective, since the female is passive during sex.

[–]nixt26 0 points1 point  (3 children)

How does this translate to the case where the female is on top in which case she is the active?

[–]jonib0ni 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Okay, I was generalizing. But in my experience, women get the most pleasure out of being submissive, while men get the most out of being dominant (which is also why girl on top is a rather lame position imo).

[–]nixt26 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Man someone told me that position is good because if she is into it she will do everything for you(and her). I was lied to!

[–]nixt26 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also strangely a large portion of porn is pov videos where the girl is almost always on top.

[–]1dongpal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So , what is the solution? whats the way to have or view sex?

[–]homodirectus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of what you wrote is true. I would say this is a part of my development. This is a new plateau I’ve reached but it would be said if it were the ultimate. I will try to continue to evolve. However, the place where I was before this one; that was a very fucked up place. I never wanna go back to how I used to feel.

As far as the perspective of porn; while watching porn what gets you off is not the active initiation and propagation of the moment; you are a passive bystander doing mental gymnastics to imagine what the actors on screen must be feeling. And naturally, since the center of focus is the female, this is going to be the primary center of attention for your thoughts, hence porn draws you primarily to the female perspective as regards the actual activity onscreen and the proxy-sensations being showcased.

[–]MedullaOblongata121 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bro stop justifying why you still watch porn. You know it’s wrong

[–]1empatheticapathetic 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Since Nofap a couple years back, the only productive use of porn I've found is reigniting my sexuality when it's completely disappeared from weeks of no fap and usually months of no positive female interaction.

It reminds me that my sexuality is something that can be enjoyed and not something to be ashamed of when I have no outlet for it.

Downvote me to hell plz.

[–]boolNation 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Why are you not getting female attention for months on end? It's likely fixable

[–]1empatheticapathetic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have life long self image issues/selfesteem I can't seem to get past.

[–]Art3mis2093 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You are getting an upvote. You are dead on lol.

[–]BrownGummyBear -2 points-1 points  (0 children)


[–]RP085 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I resonate with this.

If I were to try to put it in words, it's as if you are making her submit, with your dick. More and more so with each thrust. And all your moves are in alignment with this theme.

It's engaging in the psychology that fucking her is degrading her (literal definition: to lower the grade of something). Not misogyny (i.e. unhealthy degradation or degradation for the wrong reasons {having a chip on your shoulder}), but healthy, normal, natural domination (the way we evolved); which means to push her further and further down "below you" with every thrust of your dick, with the way you grab her and look at her and talk to her and the way you act out your intent in relation to her, while she degrades herself for you and regards you with a kind of reverance or veneration (literal definition: a profound fear inspired by a deity), and degrades herself for you more and more with everything she does.

All of this, of course, within the context of you pleasing yourself through her body. Feasting on her.

I used to think these were absolutely FORBIDDEN kinds of thoughts back when I was blue-pilled. I used to think it was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong to think of women this way. I went above and beyond to prove to myself we could enjoy the maximum pleasures in life regarding sex and love without even a shred of anything remotely resembling misogyny, but sure enough, little by little, piece by piece, reality set in, and the illusion fell away. It just isn't how we evolved.

And if you try to fuck a woman seeing her as "equal to you", in the mentality that you're both "sharing a beautiful thing together" or something, or even worse, you put her above you by considering foreplay to be three hours of begging, followed by a long massage and eating her out, you are simply not gonna get the experience we're wired for. You will both get a subpar experience.

[–]homodirectus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly right. I don’t blame women for this, they are slaves to their biology as are we. They are simply very dishonest about it because of generational indoctrination. Women will never admit that just like men there is a dark side to their sexuality. While our dark side has to do with dominance, theirs is about deception, humiliation and subversion. Good luck trying to get a chick to admit to that though.

[–]mydogfartzwithz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That aggressive shit was what I needed to hear. Good post. I used to try no fap like 6 years ago when i was a skinny beta fuck in my early 20s. You nailed it in. When i jack off and fuck my fwbs im always bored half way thru just trying to nut. Make yourself hold out on wanking, make her your relief, fuck her pussy like her life depends on it lol. All work

[–]einaudiarchitect 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Completely relate to this, same thing happened to me basically. Took me a long time to find my way out of this issue. One thing that helped me, after tunning out porn forever, was some good research. People have been having sex on this planet for thousands of years, and there's a lot of wisdom to be absorved from past generations. David Deida is pretty good at exposing some basic principles of the tantric tradition, in case you are interested. Anyway it seems to me that each of us should try to find our own way - leading into greater freedom and respect.

[–]homodirectus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couldn’t agree more with that final statement. Life is nuance and experimentation.

[–]porn-chicken 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Porn isn't the problem. It's the sex-negative mindset that's fucking pandemic these days. There'd be no issue if men were comfortable sharing their porn with their women.

Guys are told 100s of times each day sex is bad!

Having desires is something to be ashamed of, according to feminism.

IMO The most recent feminist movement, rigid religious taboos and prudish parenting have all contributed to the notion that you have to be indirect when it comes to sex.

If you believe that if sex is bad, (which is a literal core belief for so many men today), but you have needs, then you have to mask them. You can't really get rid of needs though, so they start coming out in "blue-pill" ways. Don't take my word for it - read No More Mr Nice Guy.

This thinking ends up manifesting into the beta bullshit we all did at some point. In extreme cases, it turns repressed boys into adult rapists and pedophiles.

Moral is, don't fucking hide your porn. She might get off on it. Don't jerk off in secret, fearing judgement.

[–]we_are_compromised 2 points3 points  (5 children)

You have image issues that were not caused by watching porn but clearly are not helped by it either.

[–]homodirectus[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Yes I am a complicated human who has been naively engaging in activities detrimental to my best wishes. I have faults, image issues, insecurities and doubts. I constantly search for ways to improve myself and I’m overly critical of my mistakes. I analyze the activities of my life with a fine toothed comb and try my best to make logical correlations of cause and effect in order to better my life and the results I obtain from it. You must be one of the lucky few who has up to this point in their life not had an existential dilemma. This must make you feel powerful and above those who have not been able to maintain a stellar track record in life and have made many, many mistakes. Congratulations. However, unhelpful comments are unwarranted. If you cannot relate to anything I have said then simply move on. Those that understand where I’m coming from are the ones I’m trying to connect with, not you. So sue me for giving a fuck about my image issues.

[–]we_are_compromised 3 points4 points  (3 children)

The defensiveness you're exhibiting is unwarranted. I don't know what gave you the idea that I've 'never had an existential dilemma' or why you would think that would make me feel 'powerful'. My comment was intended to help you realize that the source of your problem exists within your identity, not within the porn. Running away from porn might provide you with the opportunity to hide from these image issues temporarily but it won't fix them. You shouldn't need to slap women around when you fuck them or feel like you're 'fucking breaking this bitch' to feel like a man. This is literally the definition of toxic masculinity that the feminazis complain about and it gives the rest of us in TRP a bad rep when outsides affiliate us with people like you. This type of behavior doesn't make you an 'alpha'. It's an exhibition of your own insecurity in your masculinity. You need therapy, not an echochamber like NoFap to validate your mental illness and reinforce negative behaviors.

[–]homodirectus[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Sure dude. Merry Christmas.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Porn is either addiction or medication. No reason for either in a healthy alpha male.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on the type of porn. If it is amateur/homemade porn made between a guy and his gf/wife/plate, then it is not as bad and can be motivating.

[–]LazyMagus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your idea about men turning into the feminine mode of being passive when receiving pleasure because of watching porn is highly inspired. It's something I've never read in scientific posts either. So, thank you for this post.

[–]scanspeak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know many men whose lives were destroyed by women because their craving for sex took away their ability to think rationally. If they used more porn to satisfy their cravings they might have saved themselves a world of pain.

[–]Logicien6 1 point2 points  (2 children)

OP, I have concluded much the same myself, which is why I have begun abstinence from porn. I have echoed your experiences, almost to the letter, just as you have described.

[–]homodirectus[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was hoping my experience would resonate. I know it feels good to know you’re not the only one.

[–]Logicien6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. I can’t describe how much better this made me feel about my own situation, so thank you.

[–]NarcKammerjaeger 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Jood job man! Glad you escaped that addiction, stay strong dont fall back! This post is actually very much more useful than a bunch of high up voted ones. Bitches and sperglords gon' say it's hamstering tho'.

Take care.

[–]homodirectus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks man! I hope the new year finds you well.

[–]DefendEurope88 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Thank you so much for this post. You may remember me for posting that rant few days ago about my porn addiction.
I’m now day 5 on nofap and this was fucking awesome motivation from you!
I agree with you on all. 10/10 post! Thanks

[–]homodirectus[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Cool dude good job trying to improve your life. I will warn you though, I don’t think NoFap should be permanent. For me it worked kind of like a prescription to clear my mind and become more sensitive to what my body was telling me. While I reduced the amount I masturbate drastically, I don’t think anyone should strive to have permanent blue balls like some kind of Taoist monk. When you feel ready, find your balance. Fuck porn though. Never do that shit haha

[–]DefendEurope88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cant agree more man! I’m not doing it permanently. I’m still deciding how long should I go and I’m not sure yet... 90 days is what they say but that sounds so extremely long.
I’m doing it to clear my mind yeah and reset all.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]homodirectus[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That’s certainly one way to go about it for sure if you’ve had a problem with porn.

[–]Art3mis2093 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Can i ask, what 'sort' of porn did you watch?

[–]homodirectus[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

All kinds man. I would jerk off to pretty vanilla shit but I would still out of “curiosity” look at the weirder stuff. Some things you can’t unsee haha

[–]Art3mis2093 0 points1 point  (2 children)

i see. I'm asking because I'm curious as to what made you unleash what sounds like a rather dominating form of sexual activity. Either way. Whatever works. Your theory sounds legit tbh. But again it would depend on what you watch as to the extent to which it is true. Because I certainly understand the logic of your point (ie when you watch it and beat off you are submitting yourself because you aint doing anything for another human etc), but I'm wondering about the domination stuff you seem to be exhibiting to new sexual partners. Do you think that by stopping porno you were able to unleash your inihibition? In which sense, it'd be like the effects of alcohol.

[–]homodirectus[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What I hypothesize is that by abstaining I was able to better read my partner and almost accidentally stumbled upon the method of sex in tune with my natural biology. And you could be right about the inhibition. Perhaps porn had inhibited me from knowing or even wanting to express my sexual energy in such a way because of porns trance like effects. As far as being more aggressive in bed, I can’t say it was a 100% conscious change. It was a kind of sex I never thought nor cared to engage because my porn doused mind had me focused on my personal sensations and desire to be pleased rather than feeding the sexual positive feed back loop of my girl. Being caressing and gentle and at-your-service did nothing to stoke her passion but suddenly once I shifted to being assertive, blunt and forceful, it was as if i hit a magic button.

[–]Art3mis2093 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And you could be right about the inhibition. Perhaps porn had inhibited me from knowing or even wanting to express my sexual energy in such a way because of porns trance like effects

VERY apt description.

porn doused mind had me focused on my personal sensations and desire to be pleased rather than feeding the sexual positive feed back loop of my girl

This is also a gold nugget of truth.

[–]metallicdrama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Making porn has strong redpill effects on your life.

[–]halfback910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not wrong.

I realized a little while back that I was using porn/masturbation not as a way to take the edge off, but just as a way to pass the time. Same concept as eating food because it's there.

I realized this because if I had off for three days and jacked off four times each day I felt no better or worse than if I was super busy for three days and didn't jack off at all. I would even have sex the same amount. Sure, I got hornier easier, but it's not like I was popping no reason boners all day.

It was just something to do. Which was fucked up. So I stopped doing it unless I was genuinely horny or got blue balled or something. No net change in sex, but the sex became substantially more enjoyable.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (17 children)

Lol porn broke you and now you're a power seeking deviant. Sounds awful.

[–]homodirectus[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

That’s certainly a way to look at it. But I didn’t seek anything out. It just happened. It was like slipping into a pair of pants that fit. I don’t seek the power trip, the bitch basically begged me to embrace it.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Not sure how to reply to the original post so I'm just replying to this one. I think your post was spot-on and I'm glad that you figured it out at 27. I'll add one thing. I think it's great that you really tapped into your dominant super masculine side. Women for sure love that. But I wouldn't quite sleep on some of the other stuff that you're saying from earlier. Women really like a variety of things in a lover. Think of it like music. It can't be thrash metal all the time. Be a jazz musician that can do anything. Dynamics. When you save that super dominance, but they know that it's there, it can mean a hell of a lot more whenever you break it out. That said now that you found this side to you definitely ride it out for a while.

One other point. You talked about how you were experiencing sex like a woman does. I think there's something to that but with a slight shift in perspective. Tap into how she's feeling and BE the experience for her.

Once you eventually develop this radar will you know exactly what she's feeling at any moment, you know exactly what to give her. It might be a gentle caress or it might be a complete jackhammering. Just be ready to do it all. So don't experience sex like a woman. Be the experience for her.

[–]homodirectus[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Dude you are preaching to the choir. I agree with and will put into practice what you have alluded to here. The difficulty is finding that balance without breaking frame but it seems logical that the ultimate state is one where all your abilities can be called upon at the exact correct dosage and at will.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yessir. Being Mike Tyson is great. Being Muhammad Ali is better. Being Rickson Gracie is even better still.

I also appreciate your username. A fellow Renaissance man.

Have you by chance read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?

[–]homodirectus[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No but the title reminds of an influential person in my life. My Logic instructor in college. He was a learned man of many experiences and just in the few conversations I had with him, I learned not just about life but about my place in it and what I could expect from the future. He was also very passionate about motorcycle riding and taught courses for new learners. Wouldn’t surprise me if he would also recommend a book of that title. Could you describe the premise if you have time?

[–]Art3mis2093 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeh i kinda thought that as well

[–]42-AX 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He found out the hard way porn isn't for him. Any impactful person is deviant. You're looking at this post with "Haha what a failure" when really you should be thinking critically about it, even if he was a failure. Why did porn affect him the way it did? Why advocate pornfree but not nofap? How has sex changed for him? Is it better or worse? Is seeking power inherently bad? Why?

Damn there have been a lot of comments lately that don't contribute to the conversation.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol because I'm not praising bull shit psychology? Had he boiled his post down to "porn fucked me up because I watched it a ton when I was a virgin, don't do that" I wouldn't have taken issue. I'm not sure what subreddit you think this is, but If you post stupid shit here those of us not easily swayed with words aren't going to "contribute to the conversation."

[–]AwkwardEmpath -1 points0 points  (7 children)

I think you're taking the wrong thing from this post bud.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Ha not really. This post is retarded psychobabble from a kid who let porn completely fucking break him. Now he tries to see "how bad he can fucking break this bitch." So much cringe.

Lesson learned: if your a weak minded virgin beta, wait till after you start fucking to watch porn and porn won't be such a boogeyman

[–]BrownGummyBear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so pathetic how some guys on this sub think they are somehow more alpha for not watching porn. Wouldn't be surprised if some of this anti porn posts are written by a bunch of incels

[–]AwkwardEmpath 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I dont know about pyschobabble. It's not perfect but it's definitely relateable to some of us who started watching porn at 13 with no idea what it would do to us later on.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

His second paragraph about the female experience is nonsense.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Don't know why you deleted your comment but I agreed there. I came in a fucking condom thirty seconds in my first time. Sex with my first girlfriend was mind blowing and I barely watched porn until college. Sex with a hot chick now is still fucking awesome as long as I'm not jacking it 24/7. And I still watch porn maybe 2 to 4 times a month.

That's why the real lesson learned here is don't watch porn until after you start fucking. Really the only lesson. All the other power, feel her pulse in his grasp shit is just a broken dude trying to get off.

[–]AwkwardEmpath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. I wish I had gone the same path but that's why I'm trying to get porn out of my life completely but it's not easy.

[–]jaxmomplayer 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Are you saying that you had become obsessed with the power aspect of sex because you watched porn or because you abstained from it?

[–]homodirectus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t know dude. Reread and make up your own mind. The jist of the post is, “porn is bad because beta, stop porn stop beta.” Minus the embarrassing details and anecdotes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You said porn was youe problem, why not go no porn instead?

[–]homodirectus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dude yeah that’s what I’m advocating. The thing about jerking off too much is based on how it reminds me of those porn binging days so I keep it to a minimum. I’m not advocating NoFap as a permanent lifestyle at all.

[–]AwkwardEmpath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I enjoyed this post. Losing my virginity happened alot like you said. Ive been working on and off for a few months to remove porn from my life. This post just makes me want to rid it from my life even more.