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Red Pill TheoryPassing The Ultimate Shit Test: The One You Give Yourself (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Klaatu678

The #1 rule in dealing with people being assholes, being arrogant, or making fun of you when it comes to surface level interaction:

Laugh.

Find humor in it. Humor provides a level of detachment, of separation and enjoyment. When someone’s fucking with you, if you are taking it seriously, you’ve already lost. The more seriously you take it and the more worked up you get, the more they relish in having control over you. The more worked up they get and the more funny you find it, the more in control of the situation it puts you. The key is to shift the power dynamic. Find genuine humor in it.

People can tell when something has pierced your emotional defenses and is pissing you off. Being angry is vulnerable- it means something got to you. People will pounce on it. I’m not saying never get angry or never take certain situations seriously; if there is actual conflict that needs your engagement, by all means, take it seriously, get angry, and at that point if people give you shit for getting worked up it won’t matter because the situation matters enough to you that you don’t care if you get made fun of. Cultivate yourself so that when important conflict arises, you are not afraid to stand up and face it. But surface level interactions, like shit tests, people making passes at you, and social annoyances are not the time nor the place for that. It just displays emotional weakness.

If you get upset, make a big deal about it, and fail the shit test, people will note that you are emotionally weak. But more importantly than that, you ARE emotionally weak. With passing shit tests, the emphasis is often placed on the opinions of others and not wanting to lose face, and that is important, but more important is the state of YOUR being, and being able to deflect shit tests and not only come across like it doesn’t bother you, but for it to actually not bother you. Would you rather have people think nothing bothers you but it actually does, or have people think something got to you but it really didn’t? When you get good at passing shit tests, both externally AND internally, you can have the best of both worlds- where nothing bothers you and everyone knows it.

Externally passing shit tests is what is you can read about in the sidebar- the techniques and things to say to deflect shit tests verbally, to not show any signs of weakness or vulnerability. Agree and amplify, pressure flip, etc… my favorite low effort one is when someone tries to insult you and you can tell they’re reaching a little bit far, and so you just look at them, and let it sit in silence for a second… raise your eyebrows like you would when looking at a puppy and thinking 'awww', maybe even give them a condescending pat on the back as if to say "Nice try,” and let them stew in their own embarrassment of a backfired shit test. Point is, externally passing shit tests is what you do to show others you were not phased by it.

Internally passing shit tests is what you actually feel. If after an interaction you are thinking about what the person said and are feeling upset by it, you find yourself growing angry, you have internally failed. It means you have too much self-doubt, to the point that you are basically shit testing yourself, and subconsciously asking yourself “What if what they said is right… what if my taste in music DOES suck? What if my mom IS a whore? Maybe I AM a bitch.” The part that probably bothers you the most is not just the fact that you were shit tested, but the fact that you felt like you failed it. And that you watched yourself fail it- you saw the limits of your being in that moment and saw your insecurity and inadequacy shine forth. If you feel like this after a shit test- regardless of how well you handled yourself, regardless of whether or not the people present felt that you passed it- you failed. Because you’re thinking about it. And it’s bothering you. So what do you do?

The first step is to be honest and admit that it is bothering you. If you lie to yourself to act tough you will just feel like more of a bitch. Acknowledge that, at least in this situation, and probably in other avenues of your life, you are a bitch. Once you acknowledge this there is a sense of freedom- there is no holding onto ego, there is no “ma alpha fucks” bullshit, it’s just you being honest with yourself: you failed a shit test. It pissed you off. It’s bothering you. You are not as mentally strong as you want to be, and you want to get better, you want to be stronger, so that next time a similar situation comes up you will be able to deflect it and not give a fuck, and leave the other person looking like a bitch. But to get to where you want to go, you have to figure out where you are. Right now the bitch is you. Good. Now you are at square one.

Where do you go from here?

Realize that everything you’re feeling is just insecurity. Realize everyone has insecurity. Even Chad, at some point, has undoubtedly failed a shit test, and was ruminating it over in his mind that night getting pissed off and feeling like a bitch. Everyone feels insecurity to some extent. There is one (primary) root cause of insecurity: you do not believe you are adequate. You do not believe you are good enough, you’re not good enough to be the kind of person you want to be, and because of that you do not respect yourself.

You can cultivate a state of mind and self-image that does not care about petty things- insults people throw at you, words spoken by people who are probably more insecure than you- these things do not have to bother you. They do not have to have power over you. And this starts with having discipline, building yourself up to be someone you respect, keeping your promises to yourself, sticking to decision you’ve made- if you repeatedly tell yourself you want to start working out, start eating healthier, start doing better in college or at your job, and you never do, or maybe you’ll get on it for a week and then quit, you will not respect yourself. Respect is earned, not given, and likewise you cannot just give yourself your own respect. You have to earn your own respect. Respect is subconscious. And you earn it through maintaining your frame; through making decisions, and having the discipline to follow the fuck through on them. Don’t sit around all day talking; DO something. While someone else is busy and trying to build themselves an empire of words to live in and feel good about themselves, you can be out there DOING things- pump that fucking iron, eat those vegetables and chicken breasts, get out there and make yourself a king- ESPECIALLY when you don’t feel like it. If you only grind when you feel like grinding, that’s not discipline; that’s just you doing what you feel motivated to do in the present moment.

tl:dr By cultivating discipline and following through on the things you know you should be doing, you will earn your self-respect and you will feel confident, and when people try to put you down, you won’t give a fuck. Because you’re too busy living your life and basking in self-validation to care. Externally or verbally passing shit tests is the easy part- just know some words to say. And you should know how to verbally pass shit tests. But passing the ultimate shit test- the quiet one, the shit test that your own subconscious is doing to you, poking your frame, trying to see if you are someone who is worthy of your own respect- THAT is the ultimate shit test you should be trying to pass. And the only way to pass is to have discipline, so that when it's time to grind and do the things you know you should be doing and you hear that little devil floating next to you saying "nahh, just relax, it's too much effort" or "ah, you didn't really want it that bad anyway," you smack that bitch to the ground and you DO what you need to do.

All of that and more is within your grasp.

Now get off the internet and go work out.


[–]invinci7777 42 points43 points  (3 children)

I believe that what you described as internal shit test is the only thing that matter. Most people, specially women, have some sort of sixth sense when it comes to detecting emotions.

If you are internally unfazed by a shit test, no matter what you say or do externally, you always pass the test because they can sense it did not affect you. On the other hand, if you are emotionally affected, then you can say the exact same reply recommended in sidebar and still fail.

Also a minor correction, you wrote "Respect is given, not earned," by mistake at one place.

[–]Hviterev 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes! This! For many reasons I tend to have an on and off relationship with self confidence. And when I'm 100% confident, I know I can do anything and it work. I do beta tier shit, the most stupid shit I can just for the pleasure to see it work anyway... And when I'm done and not self confident, and can do the coolest shit and it still fails.

People feel it. Faking it ok to start, but eventually becoming a better person is what works the best.

[–]boo_radley_awesome 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women don't have a "sixth sense"... but I know what you mean, and I agree. Let's just say that biologically they are more attuned to emotions than men are.

"If you are internally unfazed by a shit test, no matter what you say or do externally, you always pass the test because they can sense it did not affect you. On the other hand, if you are emotionally affected, then you can say the exact same reply recommended in sidebar and still fail."

Learned this the fucking hard way but it is so DAMN true. Thanks for the insight

[–]rigbed 14 points15 points  (2 children)

This is what Jeff Bezos does, he punishes people by laughing

[–]blackwater23 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do you have an example? Interested in seeing that

[–][deleted] 80 points81 points  (3 children)

Shit that's a lot of words.

TL:DR,

Everything outside your frame provides but amusement.

[–]ThrowFader 36 points37 points  (0 children)

3/10 paraphrasing

Try again next time lol

[–]party_dragon 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is an amazing article that explores anovel perspective to the topic of frame/self-dominance/inner game. Don’t listen to haters, thanks for writing it!

[–]isodomize 1 points1 points [recovered]

Where I work we "leave our feelings at the gate". If you fail to do this and they realize that they can get under your skin then believe me they will. It's going to be an absolute nightmare for you. This should apply to all aspects in life. You're the prize. They're beneath you because you're constantly changing and doing things to better yourself. You don't let a child hurt your feelings so why would you let a child that's 30 years old be any different.

[–]1swaglordobama 36 points37 points  (4 children)

This is why DLV, self-deprecation, and making fun of yourself are so much better than trying to DHV or brag.

For example, if you are well dressed and someone asks what you do, say you work at McDonald's, 7/11. If you have a nice car, say it barely drives. Find ways to make your life sound stupid as fuck and rif on it. Due to Halo Effect, people will often assume the opposite.

Fully accept yourself and rely only on your own reference experiences. What you can't immediately fix, you feature. Have a big belly? Tell people to rub it for luck. Tell people you're pregnant. Hairy chest? Pull a chest hair and give it to someone. Brag about your taco meat, persian rug, mystical jungle, etc. Moobs? Push them together and tell girls to motorboat them or feel them, then tell them to compare to their friends, then motorboat the girls. Name your moobs. Brag about how small your dick is. Dance like a fucking moron. Say you are from Zimbabwe, Narnia, Gotham City, Hogwarts, etc and it's your first day out, ever. Tell girls you are too shy to talk to them, then sexually spike by saying things like, "if I wasn't a shy nice boy I'd bend you over this chair and fuck you in the ass right now, but I'm a gentleman." Works best in a stupid accent.

On the other hand, if you're buff, tell people you're fat. If you're handsome, complain about how nobody likes you because you're ugly. If you are wealthy, say you're so poor that you only came out to charm bitches into buying you drinks. Find some way to make interactions interesting and fun.

Any kind of percieved shortcoming is a chance to show how fucking cool you are by not letting it affect you. When people poke fun at something about you, they are effectively trying to shove you in your head. Agree and exaggerate.

Girls are so sexually repressed that silliness (especially with a sexual undertone) provides them with a loophole within social conditioning to behave sexually and as a result get horny as fuck.

Every guy in the club/bar is fragile, boring, horny, and lame as fuck. They all say the same dumb shit. The bar is not that high. Girls want to have fun, so give them that and move in interaction forward.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 57 points58 points  (2 children)

I used to be very self depreciating until TRP. It's not good game. You're overly pedestalising it here. It's good for a shit test or two but if you keep using it again and again successively it indicates low self esteem. And even if you're completely secure in who you are, most girls don't understand a level of humour like that. They'll take it seriously if they keep getting that type of response. A response in a dominant frame opposed to an approval seeking one is a better choice at least half the time.

[–]42-AX 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah you got it right.

Sparingly it is a great method. Thick skinned men will understand it, but women and sensitive men will take it seriously.

Too much and you basically create a mentally toxic environment within yourself. External-wise, people will begin to question your emotional health.

Amplify & agree is a generally better method when ambiguity is great.

[–]party_dragon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends how you’re self-deprecating. If your words are self-deprecating but your tone is dominant and confident, then that’s fine. If, however, you’re acting like a bitch - even if you’re very obviously pretending - people will subconsciously associate you with eing a bitch.

[–]absdevops 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This one really hit home, thank you.

[–]OptimalMinimal 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Very insightful. Can you recommend any material / post on dealing with passing shit tests externally?

I've never been an smack talker or seen it worthy, and I have never developed skills to talk back. That might just be the weak me talking. Need to get on that shit.

[–]rocknrollchuck 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Google "Shit Test Encyclopedia" by Illimitable Men.

[–]OptimalMinimal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Read it last night. It was good. However it felt that it was more focused on when your are out in the field looking for girls.

I was looking for something that can be applied specifically to ball busters or someone trying to out move you at work/sports, but I guess same general technique applies.

[–]rocknrollchuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. You should write down the ones that come up the most and figure out a few creative ball busting responses ahead of time. Then memorize them. It's a LOT easier to come up with some in the moment if you have a few to start off with. Once you practice for a while in different situations, it will get easier and will begin to come to you more naturally. Practice, practice, practice!

[–]Sumo94 7 points8 points  (17 children)

How do I respond to someone telling me I sneeze like a bitch?

[–]TheRojoPill 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Sneeze a couple more times back in their face

[–]hiddenpersona 29 points30 points  (5 children)

If this is your bro busting your nuts, you either have to laugh it off or bust his nust as well. Say something harsh.

Probably got it from your mum, sister, aunt vs.

I bet it turned you on you fag.

What do you know about bitches? aren’t you a virgin Larry?

[–]Sumo94 3 points4 points  (4 children)

“I bet it turned you on fag” man that’s good lol but why can’t we all be friends? I don’t like having to say something harsh back. Are these type of people everywhere?

[–]hiddenpersona 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Say it with a laugh, pat him on his back. Make it clear it is a joke. If there are people around, say this in a way everybody thinks it’s a joke but not an insult. But a harsh joke because he deserved it. Knife to knife, gun to gun. You can’t show your other cheek when someone slaps you.

Always punish people for not respecting you. Joke is a joke but punishment can also be a joke.

Next time they will hesitate to say something bad because they will know it will bounce back. I had friends who were busting my balls all the time, I knew they were just joking, we were close but over time it got annoying. The moment I start replying back or even busting their balls first, I see them they stopped doing it.

[–]Sumo94 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Good advice. Can i withdraw my attention from them? I don’t like some guys so I try to avoid them. Is that better to do or should I just hit them back with insults? You know how they say to get toxic people out your life

[–]ButterNutBuster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t go out of your way

If they still come after you at all, it would be an attempt of desperation on their part. You can easily retaliate and catch them off guard. Then they will not only leave you alone but avoid conflict with you at any cost to their frame/manhood

[–]mummersfarce_is_done 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t like having to say something harsh back.

But that's exactly how earth shattering male friendships can be born.

[–]ButterNutBuster 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Why are their so many failed comebacks to this?

[–]AlphaMaterial 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"No, the bitches sneeze like me. How do I know; Well, I taught them"

[–]TheRedPillRipper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"I'd rather sneeze like a bitch than be one."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell them you'd rather sneeze like a bitch than ride the short bus.

[–]mishasam89 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

tell them they look like their mother fucked a goat..

[–]Trpogre -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If it's a woman... tell her that:

  • "how cute, so the actual bitch is now trying to call me names"
  • walkout

If it is a man:

  • nail him on his deficiency. If he is fatter and has slight man titties: "at least I don't have bitch titties". If he is a bit ugly, then say "better than havinf your bitch face".

  • Tit for tat with men. Done with a smile and a laugh and then change subject to get back into your frame

[–]mountainbiker178 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm reading WISNIFG, and I finally understand the tactic of HOW to use fogging, but I still need to understand WHEN to use it. In other words, when do you use AA vs fogging?

[–]CountVP 6 points7 points  (8 children)

When someone disrespects you you have to put them in their place, or it will happen again until that person is shitting all over you. Op is giving shitty advice

[–]TunedtoPerfection 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Sometimes the best way to put that person in their place is to their attempts at disrespect are laughable to you. Sometimes the reaction is what validates the disrespect, so have no or the opposite reaction displays much higher value then getting down and dirty "dealing with it" does

[–]CountVP 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I'll use this example to ilustrate. Once a dude got drunk in a party and took my girlfriend out to dance. His hands were nearing her ass and i when i saw this i had to make a choice: A. did i ignore it at take it like a cuck B. Did i went there and pushed his ass on the ground? I did B and that dude never disrespected me again. I'd take action over turning the other cheek any day o the week. Humans respect strenght, not self righteousness

Now i'm not saying you need to pick a fight with any jackass, but you have to put them in their place by means that reframe the situation and make him look like a loser

[–]AllForTheGains 1 point2 points  (3 children)

So your girl was going to let him put his hand on her ass?

[–]CountVP 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I didn't know, and i didn't intend to find out.

[–]AllForTheGains 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well, you fucked up. Now she knows she can toy with you.

[–]CountVP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she's no longer my gf. We broke up 5 years ago.

[–]Flying_Wingback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cultivate yourself so that when important conflict arises, you are not afraid to stand up and face it. But surface level interactions, like shit tests, people making passes at you, and social annoyances are not the time nor the place for that. It just displays emotional weakness.

If your girl was ok with it then it's not worth it, if she was feeling harrassed then option B was the right choice

[–]Abnull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You shouldn’t laugh at every shit test. Emotion is your engine, direct it. Using controlled emotion is perfectly fine, even if it is anger.

I do think using humour to not let others get to you is putting the cart before the horse. Humour is something you find once others don’t get to you.

[–]NormalAndy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My missus finds me very irritating. It’s pretty hilarious.

On a serious note, it keeps the entire family sane while giving her a positive space where she is free to solve her problems. We are still there for her.

[–]maplemaximus 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'd argue that sitting there laughing at everything makes you just as much a target of shit that you don't like being told. It takes some social tact to establish respect and also "bro-ness" with your friends.

[–]AlphaMaterial 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So how do you establish respect using social tact?

[–]maplemaximus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't know, I'll be honest with you. But I know people who have achieved this. It all comes down to how you carry yourself and the first impressions you give.

[–]NielsRando -1 points0 points  (1 child)

So I started off reading this and first thing I see is : laugh and find humor in it As far as I've heard by laughing you give into his frame of it being a joke and hereby you allow him to do this again.

[–]NielsRando 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note : Reading the rest now. Very intresting and good stuff :) + idk if my first statement is correct but thats how I see it