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she wants to fuck, she just doesn't want to fuck YOU. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by MisterDorimant

That is the red pill.

THE red pill that We all must swallow.


And it's a difficult one, because Our ego always gets in the way. It can be hard not to take it personally.

But there's another side to this pill that most Men have tremendous difficulty comprehending.

"YOU" is an abstract concept. "YOU" to a girl means "YOU," i.e. her. Think about it for a moment.

she doesn't want to get fucked by a Man with the word "YOU" on His mind. Because such Men are accusatory. They put her in a position where she must take responsibility for her own actions. And as We all know, girls are utterly incapable of such deeds.

When a Man singles a girl out as the object of His desire, it is impossible for her not to think that she is being approached by a Man with the word "YOU" on His mind. He doesn't even have to say a word, and inevitably, is rejected. Oneitis always wrecks.

And this is exactly why abundance mentality is so important.

I would, however, argue that outcome independence isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Under such a frame, it is all too easy to slip into a frame of mind where sex becomes unimportant, to the point where it is impossible to pull the trigger when the time comes. Sex IS important. Nevertheless, I digress.


Not to put too fine a point on it, but....

she doesn't want to fuck "YOU."

she wants to fuck a Man with "Me" on His mind.


The best advice I can give is this.

Eliminate the word "you" from Your vocabulary.

A red pill Man must think and speak in terms of I or Me. First person. Always.

The speaking part is difficult to master, but it can be done.

Selfishness is an ugly word to some, but it is truly freeing.


[–]james_the_dean 320 points321 points  (34 children)

You never take away the plausible deniability from her.

When I started out with girls, I was always amazed when they were very sexual towards me with obvious signs like kissing and touching the package for example, but the very moment I asked them verbally, they outright denied it, and sometimes it even became a turn-off.

So what's the deal? You both know what is happening, but the very moment you make it clear, you take away the chance from her to hold you accountable for the whole process.

Even if there is nothing on the line for her, she wants to enjoy the whole game until the act happens.

It's like when someone tells a joke and you say: This is funny because.. insert explaining It just kills the vibe.

On that note, be sexual, talk about it in general, tease her sexually, but feel the nuanced difference.

[–]1redhawkes 55 points56 points  (8 children)

I don't know how many times I wrote this on asktrp,

never verbalize attraction, escalate to sex.

You trigger her ASD, and forget that women just want you to take the lead.

Women communicate sexuality with touch (kino), hence actions not words.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 9 points10 points  (0 children)

never verbalize attraction, escalate to sex.

Ding ding ding. Talking about it is the same as asking for it. This disgusts women. Close.

[–]iqbal002 6 points7 points  (4 children)

But what if my friends does that ? I don't like it but whenever I talk to this girl , my friends start shouting and starts taking pics

[–]7a7p 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Sounds like you need new friends.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]7a7p 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    But they don’t always have to punk you. If they’re doing something you’d rather them not do, tell them.

    [–]1redhawkes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Isolate her, or cut off the asshats

    [–]james_the_dean 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    yeah those were years ago in blue days, just wrote it down to illustrate a point, but you are right.

    [–]1redhawkes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    that was great insight bro, I was just adding context.

    [–]BertranThePharmacist 100 points101 points  (23 children)

    With the latest #metoo bullshit, there is no more space for plausible deniability. "Enthusiastic consent", consent apps, notarial evidence,..

    [–]james_the_dean 62 points63 points  (9 children)

    I get what you are saying but first of all we have to differentiate between female nature and the current climate. It is true that they complete the puzzle together but if we want to clear up the mess in the heads, we need to differentiate.

    There are many women out there who couldn't give less fucks about the #metoo stuff, and I suspect it is the silent majority. What you hear inflated in the media, and what reality is, again, are two completely different things. Now, this does not mean that this silent majority is willing to take responsibility for their actions, but simply that they are not justice warriors.

    [–][deleted]  (6 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]zyqkvx 23 points24 points  (1 child)

      Even the women who don't believe it have no qualms using it strategically and politically.

      [–]fromthecrypt8 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Exactly, metoo is just a weapon in their arsenal, most women only care about metoo for that very fact. The armor for such a weapon is passing the giant shit-test that it is.

      [–]BertranThePharmacist 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I agree with you in general. We know good old days and I hope we will see them again. But today's climate is god damn hot! It will change probably when we see a thousand of false rape accusers get 25 years in prison each.

      [–]PhaedrusHunt 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      Solution: make her beg for the D

      [–]VickVaseline 17 points18 points  (4 children)

      OMG I thought you were joking about the consent apps. I looked it up:

      http://we-consent.org/

      This is almost exactly what was predicted in the movie Cherry 2000 thirty years ago. A legal contract with involvement of lawyers would be necessary before any sexual contact:

      https://youtu.be/urS8GmwmeWQ

      The movie was made in 1987 and set in 2017. Uncanny!

      I have no idea how the guys who made that movie saw it coming, but they were genuine prophets.

      [–]SKRedPill 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      A legal contract with involvement of lawyers would be necessary before any sexual contact

      Sounds very similar to ... marriage... --

      So when you go all the way left, do you come back to the right?

      [–]Coral_Blue_Number_2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      We don’t need to worry about the app because it’s not legally binding

      [–]myrodia 23 points24 points  (4 children)

      I don't get why everyone is so worried. I exclusively have sex with enthusiastic consent. If a girl doesn't openly want to have sex with you, why the hell are you bothering??? That just means it's transactional sex, which no one here should want.

      'Enthusiastic consent' is just women wanting to claim the right to end transactional sex whenever they want, and even after the fact. It's purely for control over transactional sex so they can obtain and secure resources more easily from their beta provider.

      Maintaining frame and having any shred of game will completely avoid enthusiastic consent issues.

      [–]COCAINE_ADVOCATE 29 points30 points  (3 children)

      This is what drove me nuts about the Ansari story. She's not dripping and begging for it, what the fuck is she still there for dude? Even if it was consensual, it's not fun because he didn't create the scenario where she really wanted it. That's how he fucked up. Boot her ass out and read a book or something. Just my opinion...

      [–]sourdieselfuel 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      Then call up a high price escort he could easily afford to avoid that situation in the future.

      [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      A dick sucking is still better than masturbating to pornhub.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Not the teasing pathetic kind he got.

      [–]antariusz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      A feminist movement designed to crush billy the beta.

      This is TRP. Rules don’t apply to you if you’re attractive.

      You listen to that Harvey Weinstein undercover tape? Begging and pleading with a girl? Ducking pathetic, of course women are repulsed by that behavior.

      Sure, don’t ever stick your dick in crazy is good advice, but I’ve done it a few times. And at 200+ women I’ve never once been accused of sexual assault or rape or regret rape.... because abundance mentality (I like those odds). She doesn’t want to put out, fine, others will. She can leave without getting touched. Any reluctance at all ends the encounter. Give me a FUCK YES, because everything else is a no. I won’t waste my time on anything less than a fuck yes.

      [–]imabadasstrustme 71 points72 points  (13 children)

      This is a brilliant post, but I think a little too nuanced to get popular on this subreddit compared to simple, easily digestable content like "Red Pill Stories".

      But yeah I totally agree, and it actually is a complete mind shift when you realize that instead of caring who she's fucking you can focus on who you are fucking.

      I think what demonstrates this best is when you consider two popular fetishes: threesomes and cuckolding. The idea of having a threesome is thinking only of yourself as you get to fuck two girls at the same time and experience insane amounts of direct pleasure. On the other hand, the idea of cuckolding is to put the girl on such a pedestal and be so into her that you get off on her getting off to another guy? The two are in such contrast to each other. Each is on the opposite side of the spectrum in terms of what's being focused on.

      [–]LoganShoshin 9 points10 points  (12 children)

      I get what you're saying, and have admittedly never been in a threesome. However, my friends who do threesomes often, actually say that the key to making them happen is to make the girls comfortable and to make them interested in each other. What are your thoughts regarding this?

      [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (2 children)

      Its pathetically easy. They all want to Fuck each other. Women are more attracted to each other than they are to men. The key for you is to simply not give a fuck. I've literally only had one relationship where I didn't have a threesome with her, and I married that one. She's into it, but won't pull the trigger. Know why? Because I married her and we have kids. She subconsciously knows I give a fuck, no matter what I do lol. She's a horny little thing but knowing that I love her, truly love her, not silly puppy fucking love, keeps her afraid that if I jam my cock into something else she might lose my love. Which is totally illogical, I would continue not giving a fuck about the other girl. But women aren't logical.

      [–]redd_reality 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      women are attracted more to each other than they are to men.

      I don't even doubt that in the aesthetic sense. All beauty is feminine in origin.

      Where I will disagree with you is the effect male behaviour has on her sexuality. This is her crux. Beauty will attract her, but behaviour ie social and physical domination, are what make her eyes roll back in her head and allow her to form a spiritual connection to your cock.

      [–]zakabog 2 points3 points  (8 children)

      As someone that's been to swinger parties and had open relationships, I've had a number of threesomes. They're easier to pull off when you're just trying to hook up with a girl and the two of you have no emotional connection yet. I disagree with what /u/TylerDurden1983 said, not all females want to fuck other females. I've met plenty of women that are in no way attracted to other women, it's just that there isn't a strong social stigma against it. No one is going to call two normally straight girls making out at a bar fags, the same is less likely to be said about two normally straight guys. As far as pulling an easy threesome, if you find a bisexual girl with a cute normally straight female friend that she wants to fuck then you're golden. Just pull the bi one, then talk about her friend, convince her that she should just go for it, she'll end up pulling her friend (you may have to help slightly with that but it should be easy enough) and now if you've got a place to fuck you've got yourself a threesome.

      When you're in a relationship (a monogamous relationship), things get more difficult. Unless your partner is very comfortable with herself (or self conscious to the point where you basically own her) she's going to likely be apprehensive to the idea. She'll think "Why aren't I good enough alone?" or if you convince the two of them to get into bed "Why doesn't he fuck ME like that?" It just creates an awkward situation in your relationship. It's certainly doable but it helps to already be comfortable enough with each other that you're in an open relationship where you're at least allowed to soft swap. From there things get simple, get your girl to just play with another female, just watching the two of them go at it. Tell her how good it made you feel to watch her with another woman, it'll be easier to get her to do it again in a non swapping situation. Then you just start of the same, watch her with another girl but fuck her while she's pleasing or being pleased by the other women. Then work your way in with the other women, don't ignore your girl during this time, that will quickly shut down the session, just integrate yourself in between them. Eventually you'll have them both riding you while your girl is loving every minute of it.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

      You pretty much reiterated what I said except for one point. And on that point, I'll stand my ground. Every Fucking woman is a bottle of wine away from making out with her best friend given the right situation and male encouragement. All of em.

      [–]zakabog 3 points4 points  (5 children)

      Does that then also mean you're simply one bottle of wine, the right situation, and some male encouragement away from making out with one of your guy friends? If it doesn't apply to you, then it can't possibly apply to ALL women. When your thought process is simply the result of chemical interactions inside your brain, and all humans share those same chemical compounds regardless of sex, then it's impossible to say that "All women think XYZ, and all men think ABC."

      It's the same thing I say to people who argue that being gay is a choice, do you wake up every morning thinking "You know what, I'm attracted to a member of the same sex but I'm going to choose to ignore those feelings for now." To me it's simply not a choice, I'm attracted to females, I could never choose to be with men since they do nothing for. Since I know that I'm attracted to females and not attracted to males, I understand that no one just wakes up and chooses to be gay, sexual attraction just doesn't work like that.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

      Men and women aren't the same. You're trying hard to make it so tho. The bottle of wine won't have the same effect on you and I as it does on women (and it's clearly a metaphor). I'm in no way arguing that homosexual attraction is a choice, that's a straw man. I'm saying that ALL women are some level of bisexual because they are just as attracted to each other as they are to men. They get decked out for each other just as much as they do for us.

      [–]zakabog -1 points0 points  (3 children)

      Men and women aren't the same.

      What chemical compound is present in the brains of women that causes them to find members of the same sex attractive, that isn't present in the brains of men? I'm not arguing that all men and women are the same, just that you can't say one statement applies to the minds of ALL female humans and not all male humans. If you want to argue that it applies to MORE females then males that's a different story, but to say ALL females is dishonest unless it also applies to all males.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      It is very well established that women are much more gender fluid than men. Further, the hornier the thot the more likely she is into both pussy and cock.

      [–]zakabog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I don't dispute that a woman is more likely to hook up with another woman that a man is to hookup with another man, just that you can't say ALL women are attracted to other women unless the same is also true of ALL men.

      [–]3whatsthisgarg 30 points31 points  (15 children)

      This is not wrong, but you've got it mixed up a little bit.

      She doesn't want to fuck, she wants to GET fucked.

      In a stairwell, in a stranger's van parked on a public street, whatever.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]Dub_D83 1 point2 points  (5 children)

        Yep, had to eventually try being dominant with her BDSM requests. It makes a lot more sense once you figure out the mindset and their perspective. Many prefer pleasing you by being dominated, probably to different extents but you get the idea.

        [–]redd_reality 10 points11 points  (2 children)

        The first time I truly embraced my inner savage in bed, I saw the side of women I'll never stop trying to see again.

        That look in her eye was a mix of fear, pleasure, chaos and safety all at once.

        It is the fact you make her feel comfortable enough to allow herself to open up completely. Lose all control of her emotions. Taker her to the edge of insanity and then wrangle her back in. She can express her feminine chaos fully because she knows your masculine self control can contain it and bring her back down to earth.

        [–]Dub_D83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Emotions are a maze of mirrors anyways, make your own path. I've usually had to deal with a lot of sass and shit talk before they admit they want to be controlled.

        Grew up religious and around aggressive women so it took me a while to change my perspective despite choking and hair pulling being a "norm" whenever I got lucky.

        [–]2CasaDeFranco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Personal question but do you find the further you push that point, it becomes like a hedonic treadmill?

        [–]7a7p 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I’m confused. You had to try being dominant?

        [–]Dub_D83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes, "with her BDSM requests", I've never used my aggression to go as far as using tools/hardware.

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          everyones got that one story they wont stfu about lol

          [–]3whatsthisgarg 6 points7 points  (2 children)

          Man, how many times are you going to bring up the van. I count infinity times in the last week.

          Can't really tell your tone here, but 95% of TRP readers have NO sense of humor. And because they're not fun guys, they aren't having fun experiences like fingering women barfing in shrubs, or sitting in a pool of sweat and jizz in a stranger's van parked on a public street.

          [–]1OneRedYear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Reminds me of Great Books For Men.

          [–]metallicdrama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          On a bag of garbage in the back of a Ford sedan.

          [–]Dylan_Tnga 32 points33 points  (2 children)

          You are over thinking it. Women don't have an internal mechanism counting how many times you refer to them over referring to yourself.

          I know that in your delusional fantasy being a cocky self absorbed prick is going to get you laid, but it really won't.

          Making blanket statements like "Red pill man must do X. ALWAYS" makes it extremely obvious that you just went through a bad breakup and are still in the venting stage.

          Basically, your advice sucks.

          [–]chances_are_ur_a_fag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          it works for some people, doesn't work for others. i have a friend that acts all around like a complete prick and an idiot without giving two fucks about anything. gets laid like there's no tomorrow. however, girls that do fuck him are borderline literal idiots, but nonetheless he gets really decent pussy.

          [–]Voyflen 14 points15 points  (0 children)

          That's the black pill. She just wants a strong man to take care of her. Not a pushover who cares about pronouns and eliminates himself from the vocabulary.

          [–]U-94 7 points8 points  (2 children)

          Sounds like someone needs to smoke DMT and burn away their ego. All I see here is ego. That's not bad but I think it's important for people to see a guy lament his loss of a girl (or oneitus as you guys put it) as no different as a kid who didn't get what he wanted for Christmas.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]U-94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I plucked that example out of thin air since it's a common description of DMT. An adult dealing with disappointment can be as petulant as a 5 year old child. Understand that problem should be burned out of the core of your being. It's not a 'tough guy' act either that you try to put on for others. It should be like an Office Space nirvana moment where suddenly nothing bothers you anymore.

            [–]ktheguy 4 points5 points  (10 children)

            Are there any sources where I can find how to apply this concept in depth ?

            [–]That_Deaf_Guy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            It comes with experience, by the looks of it... Like OP said at the end "the speaking part is difficult to master, but it can be done." I'd say learn to love yourself, put yourself on a pedestal, and as time goes you'll start giving off those vibes.

            [–]ioncehadsexinapool 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I’m trying to to that right now. I’m about half way through no more mr nice guy. It’s hard but seems to actually work. Judge yourself by your standards. This whole “me” things seems like it’s actually the same core concept, but from a different approach.

            If you can validate yourself you won’t want/need it from others. You cant be her rock if you can’t even be your own rock. Be your own rock. I feel like I’m finally starting to understand frame from a fundamental and intuitive way rather than the face value way, which is almost not helpful at all.

            I’m starting to suspect that social anxiety and shyness are almost entirely because of lack of “self love” or some need from external validation.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Women can never make up their minds, first they don't want to fuck you then they want to fuck you then they don't want to fuck you.

            Logic from a woman? BWAAHAHAHAHHA

            [–]ThePreviousGod 0 points1 point  (3 children)

            ”She doesn’t want to get fucked by a man with the word YOU on his mind”

            Sorry i’m really confused, not really following (english is not my first language) could someone explain this to me in a more simple way?

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [removed]

              [–]ThePreviousGod 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Does he mean that you should talk about yourself and not about her? Could you clarify please.

              [–]MaitreDuLogos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              What OP means is that she doesn't want you to be focused on her pleasure during sex

              [–]McVaghunter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              They all want the dick, but not any dick, only the high SMV dick.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Under such a frame, it is all too easy to slip into a frame of mind where sex becomes unimportant, to the point where it is impossible to pull the trigger when the time comes.

              I've been having trouble with this, its hard to know when you have reached the point where you can show one way or another you want sex.

              [–]SKRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              There is an incredible book out there titled Women's infidelity :

              http://womensinfidelity.com/female-stages-of-infidelity/ http://womensinfidelity.com/stop-your-wifes-affair/

              The author's a woman, but she hits the hamster on the head and agrees that being a pleasing, passive wimp is never going to work in an emotional soup.

              We think we’ve evolved beyond the animal, but in reality that side of us hasn’t gone anywhere. We as humans have the gift in that we can tame our energies to evolve more consciously unlike the animal.

              While a man must necessarily (and especially today) consciously tame his animal and energies to serve his bidding and evolve into a high value man, today’s woman doesn’t have such a need as she is no longer bound by principle or devotion or society or marriage or religion. The result of this is as destructive as men succumbing to addictions. Women as such have a propensity to be closer to their base instincts than men (for the reason that their first language is feeling before logic), and now they are even more a slave of their instincts than ever.

              [–]noct3rn4l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I just don't see the value in this post or even understand why it's so long. You regurgitated one idea, the most obvious one, to which anyone who's read the sidebar would simply say "no shit"..

              [–]Jonlife 0 points1 point  (7 children)

              Yet another pua post masking under the "red pill" guise. Why even post this on here? Red pill was never about trying to "fuck" that hb10. It's much bigger than that.

              Realizing how fucked men are in this gynocentric society and knowing how to make moves accordingly. I used to see countless posts like this in the RSD forums. Let's let than kind of nonsense stay there.

              You want to know why she's not fucking you? Because you even had to ask that stupid question in the first place. And red pill guy is already past that nonsense. He already knows that anything that comes out of a woman's mouth is bullshit. Stop validating your lives to trying to fuck as many women, or that "unicorn"....

              Its hilarious to sse the amount of PUAs in here peddling this shit. I'm sure you're also on the rsd forums as well. And stop trying trying to rebrand this pick up shit out to be the red pill. It isn't and it will never be

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

              What's the diff between Pua game and Rp game

              [–]Jonlife 0 points1 point  (4 children)

              Red Pill isn't a game. It's waking up to the reality that really is. Before anyone took the red pill they were blue pill simps. "Treat women with respect...", "Don't hit a girl even if she burns your house down....", "break your back working for your woman until you're dead..." etc. etc. etc.

              If you really want to game women, just use what PUA has to offer. There's some good info in the PUA world on how to attract these dumb cunts. Most of it is about building up your self esteem which is why I'm even recommending it.

              The reason why a lot of PUA's are even starting to post in Red Pill is because they know they can be accused of rape in 2018 by using PUA techniques. And that scares them. So they try and re brand what they're doing as "red pill game". Sad

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

              Pua does have some good techniques but tbh most of it makes me cringe especially Pua's take on text game and spam approach

              [–]Jonlife 0 points1 point  (2 children)

              It def doesn't belong in the Red Pill Sub. Let them hang out in their own little PUA pow-wow subs. I'm sure the PUA sub reddit would love to hear about "She wants to fuck, she just doesn't want to fuck you" posts all day.

              In the red pill sub I could give two fucks. PUA's only care about results and they'll do anything and everything to get those numbers on the board. But they're afraid to admit they're PUA's in 2018 because of all these women being able to come forward and say that they were raped after the fact. Most of these PUA's are weasels trying to sniff every woman's ass like a horn dog as they walk by.

              Any self respecting man leaves the PUA world after he sees the level of desperation most of these PUA's are capable of.

              [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

              I mainly hate Pua's because they ruined cold approach for most men by doing their retarded canned openers and so called "neg" techniques I'm glad that there's at least distinction between Pua and trp because at one point I wasn't sure

              [–]Jonlife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              This is how retarded women are. Women love attention and even though they know you're feeding them a canned line, they simply love the attention. This has nothing to do with the red pill though. This is all pua 101 bullshit.

              Why it keeps on trying to show up in trp sub is hilarious. OP needs to head over to the pua sub and masturbate all day to the boundless information they have over there about shit like his title post.

              Red pill doesn't have time for that nonsense. The red pill never revolved around women. It revolves around living a good life and the facts are that getting involved with women ensures you are life of pain and misery. The real red pill in all this is "be glad that she doesn't want to fuck you and aquire more currency."