6 months back, I was somewhat “Alpha” but still had beta qualities relating to my friends. I was going through that strange phase where the relatability between you and your beta friends is distancing. They fucking sense your studness and your transformation, which turns into cognitive dissonance which then turns into vehement hate. The vehement hate manifesting into them doing feminine shit like passive-aggressive comments, men-gossip, shit-talking. Inviting me less and less to places. I reacted how a bitch would react around her abusive, serial cheating bf Chad. I took their shit, all because I was drawn to idea of having a “squad”.
One particular day, something came over me. While I was sitting uninvolved in their group discussion, I felt my inner Tyler Durden disgusted with myself. I stood up and just walked away. Unflinching and unresponsive. Communication from them was thoroughly cut. A deep sense of loneliness ensued before I found a new squad to kick with, but retrospectively, it was the best decision I made. The toxicity released. Now, regarding my new friends, I do not expect undying loyalty from them or anything much for that matter. If they start pulling feminine bullshit, I can cut them out like they never existed. Never again.