A common trap I've been noticing is guys taking themselves too seriously. They go out with serious faces with the intent to get laid and come back pissed and unsuccessful. And this in itself is a totally flawed mindset.
Nevertheless, the question isn't all that simple. After all, it is necessary to get serious about your life if you want to change it.
So you may ask, how do you reconcile these supposedly opposite mindsets?
And the trick is polarity. And it really works well.
We've all heard the phrase the 'word-hard play-hard'. And despite it's clicheness, there is actually a great degree of truth in it. A lot of the great playboys operate in two different mindsets. They have their work attitude, i.e get serious, and get shit done. But when the play attitude kicks in, it's totally different
This play attitude is best described by self-amusement, troll-esque behavior, and humor. It's an overall I don't give a fuck attitude, achieved by merely letting go and enjoying yourself.
And this ties really well in with self-development. Because when you are 'working', you are increasing your value and when you are 'playing' you are expressing it.
Signs your in the 'play attitude':
You want to tease her
You are cocky
You poke fun at her
you really don't care what's happening around you - your just enjoying the moment
you do things because you want to, not because you have to (not 'I have to approach 4 sets tonight!')
you are not analyzing because you dont give a fuck - you operate naturally without thought
Signs your in the 'work' attitude
- You don't want to get distracted
- You don't take shit (obviously you don't take shit in the 'play' attitude, but you are more light-hearted )
- You think in numbers, and are formulating a vision of success
- you are meticulous and methodical
- you are prone to analyzing
There may be some guys that take picking up girls like mathematical formulas, but trust me, that's not what the cool guys are doing. They are living life, giving zero fucks and being in the present. And you can gain an edge on them - by being serious about improving yourself, your finances and health when you are not being a socialite.
Edit: If you enjoyed this post, you can follow me on twitter where I post maxims. https://twitter.com/HlghRoller_life