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Found this gem about frame control (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by topredhat

The term "frame" was borrowed by pickup artists from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). The original concept goes like this: even if there is a single objective reality currently happening (e.g. It's 68 degrees and I am sitting in a classroom with 25 people listening to a lecture about physics), each person has their own individual interpretation of this reality. Different people notice different details of what's going on. Each person has their own set of memories they compare their current situation to. Each person has a slightly different emotional reaction to what's going on. The subjective interpretation of an objective reality is called "frame".

That is, everyone is looking at the same picture, but each person puts a different "frame" around it.

So frame is your interpretation of reality. The interesting thing is, when you're in a group of people you can draw others out of their reality and into yours. Whoever has the strongest frame wins.

Have you ever heard of those people who just waltzed past security and got backstage just because they acted like they belonged? Because they acted like they belonged there everyone else believed that they were supposed to be there and just let them through. That's maintaining frame.

If you wear a silly hat and think, "Man, this hat is ridiculous and makes me look stupid," then other people will think you're a loser with a stupid hat. But if you wear a ridiculous hat and think, "This hat is unique and the epitome of cool," then other people will be drawn into your reality and assume you're cool. (This is what Mystery is famous for.)

If you approach a popular kid (or hot girl) with the mindset "This person is way above me and probably has no interest in talking to me" then she will be drawn into that reality you created and think that you're a loser. If you instead approach with the mindset "I'm a cool person with interesting things to say and I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about me" then they will be drawn into that reality and think you're a cool person. That's maintaining frame.

You have created a reality where being 16 and short is a bad thing and means your not good enough. This reality gets projected outward in your body language, tone of voice, and word choice. Other people then accept the reality that you're short and not good enough. If you instead cultivate a reality (or frame) where you're a badass regardless of your height, people will fall into that reality and accept it as true. This is where being cocky and agree and amplify help.

Edit: credit to u/untitled1


[–]privacythrowaway2003 81 points82 points  (4 children)

Interesting way to think of it.

Basically, be comfortable with who you are and generally everyone else will be as well. The people who aren't, you could give a shit less about.

Great way to explain and view self-confidence.

Getting yourself to that point, compounded with being the best version of yourself possible acts as a snowball effect.

People see that and naturally act accordingly.

It's why there are guys that exist who are out of shape, or ugly that can still regularly get beautiful women.

Granted, if the out of shape guy, got in shape his potential would be even greater. Unfortunately, us humans are generally pretty lazy and adopt an "if it ain't broken, don't fix it" mentality. Leading to what I can only imagine is a staggering amount of wasted potential.

Now, it's also worth understanding that everyone has their limits and I believe it's healthy and important to be honest with yourself about them.

Great post-

[–]chinese-bible 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Basically, be comfortable with who you are and generally everyone else will be as well.

Too simplistic of a distillation of frame.

Frame games are largely about manipulation, to be honest. Like OP said. Sneaking into a concert or sports arena via nonchalance or if you're dressed in a suit.

Framing and reframing is largely done to gain status in a superficial way (if you know how to use it). Set the table: You're not chasing, SHE'S chasing you (this isn't internal, it's the external frame or reality you are actively asserting in the interaction --- believing it internally certainly helps the strength of it though).

Confidence goes hand-in-hand with the "higher status" frame (that's what most of the reframes are about) - but yeah.

[–]privacythrowaway2003 1 point2 points  (2 children)

All you really did, was agree, but draw it out in a complicated manner.

Guys here need to stop trying to use algorithm type approaches to non-complicated topics.

What I was pointing out, that you seemed to miss. Was that it's far more important to be truly confident and secure with yourself, instead of trying to fake it.

Basically, be comfortable with who you are and generally everyone else will be as well.

Too simplistic of a distillation of frame.

Also, I clearly distinguished that I was speaking about self-confidence and that OP had a great, simple way to view and explain it.

[–]chinese-bible 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Confidence is not the same as "establishing a frame"

Yeah, no shit "natural" ladykillers don't ever think about this shit. Nor do they think about shit-tests and "betas" or when to give a compliment. If you were naturally great with women, you wouldn't need the redpill Matrix breakdown. But that's why people are here.

Also "believe in yourself" is a vague, pointless platitude that issues of Cosmo tell people to do, as do the Disney channel. That won't tell anyone how to get laid.

Sometimes you do have to fake it. In all honesty, the Number 1 way of getting confident in terms of picking up and fucking women (there is a confidence for every skill) ... is to fuck hot women. Catch-22 for some people in "training."

You need to figure out the rules of the game. That, and realize what attracts women. It's part game bullshit and mental zen, but also being somewhat in style/ in shape, and taking a shower every day type shit. It is half theatrics; get over it. Even Donald Trump (I don't care for the man) ... is in his own little world, but greatly understands the value of theatrics and bullshit.

[–]privacythrowaway2003 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Confidence is not the same as "establishing a frame"

I disagree, I believe having true confidence is a requirement for building strong frame.

Also "believe in yourself" is a vague, pointless platitude.

I said be comfortable with yourself, not believe in yourself.

Sometimes you do have to fake it.

Agreed, however, faking it will only get you so far. Especially when there are actual alphas around.

[–]pineapple_wizard24 99 points100 points  (4 children)

I think therefore I am. Good post

[–]LordofSyn 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Descartes would be proud of your Phaneron. Yes, it is a real word and yes, it matches to the idea of "frame". This philosophical debate is not new and has been refined for over 150 years.

[–]listlesslust 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Can you refer me to any books that examine "Phaneron"? The only Descartes I've read are the Meditations.

[–]LordofSyn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My apologies for not seeing this earlier.

 Gary Fuhrman. "Charles S. Peirce's Phaneroscopy and Phenomenology".

Cogito ergo sum, no?!

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Thanks OP. That is hands-down the most concise, accurate, and clear explanation for what "frame" really is.

I think a lot of the confusion comes from two different ways to see it.

If "frame" is one person's "interpretation of reality", then two people interacting have two different frames. Since people interacting tend to influence each other more or less consciously, at some point one of those frames "wins" and the "loser" adopts the winner's frame.

The other way to understand it is that people have different "perspectives" competing for the frame, this time defined as the "agreed common perspective".

The two understandings are equivalent but cannot be used at the same time, for "two frames competing to be the frame" doesn't make sense.

When people say "maintain your frame", "keep your frame", or talk of "frame battles", they talk about people's individual perspectives, aka definition 1.

When people say, "she tried to grab the frame", or "always control the frame but resist giving the impression that you are" (Rollo's definition), then frame is the agreed common perspective, aka definition 2.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 5 points6 points  (2 children)

So what I am getting is that 'maintaining your frame' is maintaining the belief that your interpretation of reality is the right one.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep, that is, much more than just "keeping your composure" as it's too often understood.

[–]1Ill_Will7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simply put and easy to comprehend. Very good

[–]Glassantler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The competition of frame between two people and the subsequent win or loss, is how the dominance hierarchy works. If you win you go up, if you lose you skip a turn. This is the same for both personal interactions and group interactions. While I may be higher than my supervisor on a personal level. On a company level he is still higher than me.

[–]1Ramesses_ 73 points74 points  (15 children)

I like where you're coming from but having immense frame control means you don't enter other people's frame - it doesn't mean you are magically able to force them into yours.

Take Trump for example. Motherfucker has the strongest frame you'll ever see - undentable - yet he's probably the most hated person currently alive today. He's absolutely convinced of his own greatness. He ran for President and truly believed he'd win - and he did! But just because he believed it doesn't mean the whole world suddenly did. So I'll repeat that again. Frame control means you don't fall into others - it does not mean you magically force others into yours.

Work on your frame so you can't get brought down. But don't do it because you think you can use it to control others' perception of you. That is a complete fantasy.

[–]blackedoutfast 54 points55 points  (7 children)

hate isn't the opposite of love. the opposite of love is indifference. no one is indifferent to Trump.

you're on the right path if you can get girls to be as obsessed with you as everyone on CNN is obsessed with Trump.

[–]1Ramesses_ 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Indeed. Polarisation is powerful.

[–]Self-honest 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin, for sure.

[–]The_Noble_Lie -1 points0 points  (3 children)

So you are completely disagreeing that love and indifference are the actual opposites. That is a conundrum.

I for one do not think binary mental models are helpful here.

If love and indifference are opposites. Then so is hate and indifference. But opposite connotes duality so that is a contradiction.

[–]Self-honest 6 points7 points  (2 children)

So you are completely disagreeing that love and indifference are the actual opposites.

No. They are.

If love and indifference are opposites. Then so is hate and indifference. But opposite connotes duality so that is a contradiction.

Passion and indifference are opposites. Love and hate are just passion from different perspectives.

[–]The_Noble_Lie 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yes this is what I was looking for. Thanks

[–]VirginPlaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. Yet there's something to be said about one's ability to not get effected by 'hate' from people. Way more difficult than taking 'love'.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He ran for President and truly believed he'd win - and he did!

But that is an example of precisely what OP is talking about. He was convinced that he would win, and the sheer force of his conviction did lead him to win.

yet he's probably the most hated person currently alive today.

Trump's frame was never that he was the most likable guy alive though...

You want to see an example of undentable frame, look no further than Vladimir Putin.

[–]TangoZulu 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Your Trump analogy fails in that he did pull millions into his frame and this proven by the fact that he won the election with zero political experience. Just saying.

[–]privacythrowaway2003 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But don't do it because you think you can use it to control others' perception of you. That is a complete fantasy.

Rachel Dolezal

Every idiot that believes they can be a man one instant, then a woman the next.

Great insight

[–]redd_reality 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pulling someone into your frame is called game.

[–]ledsdeadbaby 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Trump is similar to TRP in some ways. People hate Trump because he speaks the truth and that hurts their way of thinking and living. This is similar to how many people can be hurt by TRP because it is not a truth they are willing to entertain.

[–]squarehead93 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Trump is a thin skinned baby with no frame and an idiot. He says whatever he thinks he needs to get his base riled up.

The idea that he has strong frame is hilarious. Have you seen the way he treats even the slightest personal insult? I know that might make me a minority here.

Inb4 downvotes from butthurt Trump fanboys

[–]Endorsed ContributorWoujo 24 points25 points  (8 children)

I agree with this post. I am writing an article about this, here is what I have written so far:

The desire to obey and follow the alpha male overwhelms our other emotions and even rational thoughts. It is so strong that betas are literally wired to accept the alpha male’s rules for reality. Charismatic men with “alpha” traits have created religions, philosophical systems, and ideologies which millions of people have blindly accepted, oftentimes in the face of pretty solid real-world evidence that those “rules for reality” were wrong, stupid, and harmful. This makes sense – humans are more likely to survive in the jungle if we follow the warrior rather than the scholar – a warrior who listens to the scholar is just an added bonus. In true Nietzschean fashion, Donald Trump proved that people’s desire for the (perceived) alpha male is stronger than their desire for truth. Even revolutionary movements that “fight the power” are mostly lead by charismatic men.

The alpha male must create the rules of reality because apes and humans did not evolve to have an inherent ability to understand the concept of objective reality. Betas evolved to feel that if a man is subject to rules he did not create, then some other alpha male must be enforcing those rules. Furthermore, beta males are terrified of chaos and crave order, so if the alpha cannot impose order on reality, then the betas are wired to immediately find another alpha for protection. To make the beta’s perception of reality even more slippery, when the alpha male ventures into chaos he actually does change reality by changing things, creating new things, defeating challenges, making discoveries, and imposing rules for how people should conduct themselves. “Humans cannot fly” was a law of reality until a man invented the airplane, and more and more of these rules will collapse as human knowledge advances.

[–]squarehead93 6 points7 points  (6 children)

humans are more likely to survive in the jungle if we follow the warrior rather than the scholar

This was a tough pill to swallow, since I was a naturally nerdy kid growing up. Knowing lots of stuff, even things that one day may be useful, isn't as valuable as physical prowess and the ability to defend yourself and others in the eyes of women and society.

beta males are terrified of chaos and crave order

I think you're touching on something here. Betas are often mommy's boys, the kids teachers call "a pleasure to have in class," and dutiful and obedient husbands and boyfriends. They've been led their whole life to believe they can get anything they want in life by following the rules. But since that's a inherently submissive attitude, they'll never be seen as leaders (alphas), who by nature must at times break rules and take risks.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 2 points3 points  (4 children)

This was a tough pill to swallow, since I was a naturally nerdy kid growing up. Knowing lots of stuff, even things that one day may be useful, isn't as valuable as physical prowess and the ability to defend yourself and others in the eyes of women and society.

I listen to a lot of Russian gangster rap. Some of it has surprising good life advice. One example,

Запас словарный может пригодится,/ Если ты банан толкаешь трем работникам милиции./ А так по жизни, физика решает много.../

In translation,

A good vocabulary/ Can be useful/ When lieing to the po-po/ Otherwise,/ Physical ability solves most problems

If you are a nerd, cultivate the dangerous side of you. Get jacked. Get punched in the face. Try to fuck as much as you can. Go jump from a plane. Stop reading so much shit (you already know enough) and most importantly stop thinking yourself superior to the 'dumb jock'.

[–]squarehead93 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Every Russian I've met has been naturally red pilled. I guess coming from a country with a harsh climate and a history of wars and unbelievable hardship will do that to you.

It's funny you mention cultivating a "dangerous side" because that's what I've been doing for 2-3 years. Those exact words. Mixing with a "rougher" crowd, going to bigger parties, socializing more. Do it right and you don't look like a try hard. Been hitting the gym like it's my church. Definitely seen some results but there's always room to improve.

I completely disagree with you about reading less though. If you're the kind of "nerd" that reads too many comic books or Star Wars novels, then yes, read less of those. But knowledge is power. Being literate on current events and politics and knowing real world skills like coding or engineering is always useful.

Nerds should hit the gym and jocks should hit the library. You need both physical strength and brainpower.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Every Russian I've met has been naturally red pilled. I guess coming from a country with a harsh climate and a history of wars and unbelievable hardship will do that to you.

Definitely. Its like theredpill says, "Hard times breed hard men". Honestly I do not think a decrease in corruption or an increase in prosperity is a good thing for Russian men, at least under the auspices of democracy.

It's funny you mention cultivating a "dangerous side" because that's what I've been doing for 2-3 years. Those exact words. Mixing with a "rougher" crowd, going to bigger parties, socializing more. Do it right and you don't look like a try hard. Been hitting the gym like it's my church. Definitely seen some results but there's always room to improve.

Nice man! I've been doing the same thing. Especially mixing with the rougher crowds part. Its gotten to the point where I can no longer stand the uptight intellectual/intellegentsia types who think they are better than everyone because they are well educated and listen to classical music and never swear because "its not proper". They are shocked when it turns out I have two degrees from prestigious universities. Lol.

completely disagree with you about reading less though. If you're the kind of "nerd" that reads too many comic books or Star Wars novels, then yes, read less of those. But knowledge is power. Being literate on current events and politics and knowing real world skills like coding or engineering is always useful.

Nerds should hit the gym and jocks should hit the library. You need both physical strength and brainpower.

You are absolutely right. I meant nerds should read less, they know enough already. Also, to be bonest jocks should read a little but not too much...its like the song says, "your physical condition solves most problems"...they will be better served with a good degree and a good physique than a well read hippie.

[–]squarehead93 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's so funny, I used to hang out with people like that a lot. People talk about how jocks carry themselves like they're better than the puny nerds, but nerds are the same way. There's definitely a rationalization among that sportsball is boring and simple and pointless, therefore why have any athletic prowess at all?

Nerd culture can be incredibly pretentious. Lots of looking down at "normies" for liking popular music or sports or mainstream TV shows and movies and going out and partying. I knew a lot of people who considered themselves morally superior because they don't enjoy things millions of people consider fun.

That said, I still don't believe there's such a thing as reading too much. The problem nerds have is not spending enough time honing themselves physically and socially and wasting time on the internet, masturbating to porn, or playing video games. If they cut out those activities to make time for the gym and social life, there's still plenty of time to read.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so funny, I used to hang out with people like that a lot. People talk about how jocks carry themselves like they're better than the puny nerds, but nerds are the same way. There's definitely a rationalization among that sportsball is boring and simple and pointless, therefore why have any athletic prowess at all?

Exactly. Nerds tend to think that since they follow what they deem 'intellectual' pursuits, that somehow makes them better than the guy following playing sportsball? Many of these self-proclaimed "intellectuals" are dilettantes and incredible simpletons.

Nerd culture can be incredibly pretentious. Lots of looking down at "normies" for liking popular music or sports or mainstream TV shows and movies and going out and partying. I knew a lot of people who considered themselves morally superior because they don't enjoy things millions of people consider fun.

Yeah, they think being hipsterish and not following the mainstream somehow makes them more 'enlightened' than the gray, unwashed masses. And yet, many of these people following 'non-mainstream' pursuits follow the same pursuits as millions of other people also following the well marketed 'alternative' lifestyle. Then they get shocked when a guy they thought was a jock is very well educated or is incredibly well read or is charismatic/charming.

That said, I still don't believe there's such a thing as reading too much. The problem nerds have is not spending enough time honing themselves physically and socially and wasting time on the internet, masturbating to porn, or playing video games. If they cut out those activities to make time for the gym and social life, there's still plenty of time to read.

I disagree. Reading influences your thought process and makes you think in a certain way. It is better for a jock to keep a free and independent mind as much as possible, reading only as far as is needed to be able to hold a conversation about anything.

[–]fullsend69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been reading TRP for a while now and this post really helped me to understand frame.

[–]redpill77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the detail you're going into. I look forward to the article.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You kidding? Have you read the Game? It is widely acknowledged that the first PUA of modern times was Ross Jeffries, that he influenced considerably all following PUAs, and that his brand of Game was almost entierely based on NLP.

[–]YetisInAtlanta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

interesting interpretation. coming from a psychology background this is a very grounded statement. your thoughts definitely influence and create your reality. if youre stuck in a low, negative mindset your outward reality will reflect that.

owning mind body and spirit and utilizing them to their full potential are the keys to success in this reality. RP values and spin on it or not, being the master of your own reality should be a goal everyone is working towards here

[–]Livnontheedge 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This isn’t rocket science.

Just like every pilot knows, “Trust your instruments, because they’re the only thing keeping you alive.”

[–]DrownRanger47 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Quick question OP. Wouldn't it be better if we didn't interpret the reality as negative ("This person is way above me and probably has no interest in talking to me") or positive ("I'm a cool person with interesting things to say and I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about me") and just see the world as it is, in a objective way ( "The other person can be interested or not to talk to me" or " I am who I am, and what others think of me is their opinion and it doesen't concern me")? Because if we see the world in a objective way our "frame" would be unbeatable, as a result of the nature of reality.

[–]Launch_On_Warning 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re talking about the Stoic approach - focus on your own choices and not on things you don’t control, like what other people think of you; cultivate clear and unbiased thinking; make your reasoned choices, and let the outcome be as it may. As a way of navigating the challenges of day to day life, it is indeed, as you say, unbeatable.

I believe (and it would be great if the OP or an Endorsed Contributor would speak to this) that the Frame concept is not intended to be an all-encompassing philosophy of how best to interpret, judge, and respond to the objective reality around you. Rather, it is a way of describing how you can project and assert your chosen interpretation of reality through interpersonal interactions to achieve whatever ends you are going for.

[–]TheIncendiary97 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Been a lurker for 2 years, and this has to be the best definition of Frame I've seen here. I guess sometimes it's best to go back to the origin and roots for understanding.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agree. Best explanation I've seen. And yes it's important to read the old stuff.

[–]SoulRedemption 1 point2 points  (3 children)

This is a very good post. Gives more perspective on frame.

I have been having trouble with frame, especially from my old peer groups. Any thoughts on maintaining frame with an old peer group that gets defensive when you are holding frame.

[–]YetisInAtlanta 2 points3 points  (1 child)

keep holding frame. you're the young buck coming to challenge the bulls. they're not gonna just give in, you have to earn it.

[–]SoulRedemption 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha thanks for the input. When I meant old, I meant it's a peer group I've known for a long time.

[–]Lavlamp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem most people face is that they think they need to be difficult or end up appearing that way when trying to hold frame. Don't hold it, become it. People can usually tell when you are trying to be something your not. They also do notike chsnge, and it takes some time for them to get use to it.

[–]IhopetoGoditsnotme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With my background in background in Chemistry/Physics/Psych and after i get thru med school, I am going to write out my theories on the fundamental laws of the universe and how they transcend all aspects of nature.

Something along the lines of building a strong frame (mental domain/headspace) is like the psychological equivalent of increasing one's mass, which in turn, increases ones gravitational pull on objects (people).

It's all interconnected in this God of a Matrix we move thru

Great post

[–]anabolic92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing.

I always struggled to find a clear definition of frame, but this is pretty good.

[–]2CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Framing comes from psychology in general. Influence by Cialdinhi is the go to book for this subject.

[–]MrPerfidy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"...Now this ambition demanded above all that their work attain the highest excellence in their own eyes as they understood excellence, without consideration for any prevailing taste or public opinion concerning excellence in a work of art. Thus Aeschylus and Euripedes remained unsuccessful for a long time, until they had finally educated judges of art who appraised their work by the standards they themselves applied. Thus they strove for a triumph over their rivals in their own estimation, before their own seat of judgment; they really wanted to be more excellent; and then they demanded outside agreement with their own estimation, a confirmation of their own judgment. Striving for honor here means, 'making onesel superior and also wishing to appear so publicly.' If the first is lacking and the second is desired nevertheless, then one speaks of vanity. If the second is lacking and is not missed, then one speaks of pride."

  • (haha take a guess)

[–]mariusAlch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the reason why texting should not be used as form of communication because I am not aware of a way to put a strong frame into your words.

[–]pk3348 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It took me a while to really understand frame when i started reading trp. Wish i read this a year ago. Really simple, very clear.

+1

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you understand what a frame. Though it's not applied like that in reality. In reality, the stronger frame wins.

[–]Alpha_Jedi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a great metaphor to think of reality as an image and we all put out own Frame around it. I did a longer write up of the concept of Frame and how to foster it for yourself: https://alphajedi.com/2017/01/29/your-frame-is-your-life/

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy -1 points0 points  (5 children)

Being grounded = solid interpretation of reality

Therefore,

Frame = being grounded

Makes sense tbh. My dad is the most grounded guy i know. Its also no coincidence he has one of the strongest frames as well. He is very successful too... his scope of reality is just... reality, so he always knows how to respond to situations correctly.

When you are drunk or high off your ass, your interpretation of reality is anywhere from slightly thrown off to completely bamboozled. This explains why people make the wrong decisions.. because their interpretation of reality is off. This is why people take advantage of very drunk people or people high off their ass -- they have little frame in that state and are vulnerable to being messed with.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Frame = being grounded

No. How could you understand that from OP's crystal clear post defining frame? As he said, "frame is your interpretation of reality". If your interpretation of reality is "This girl is too hot for me", then that is a frame, that is your frame (on the moment), and that is a bad one. And that's absolutely not "being grounded". Frame can be anything. What's important is what you create the appropriate frame for your benefit and make it compelling enough that people adopt it too.

If you want, you can say "I think the ultimate frame is to feel grounded, and so I will strive to create that frame, maintain it, and make people fall into this frame".

[–]JackGetsIt 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I think for your frame to be strong it has to have 'some' tie in with reality but probably not as much as people think. For example Donald Trump has such strong frame he managed to not lose his inheritance despite being a terrible businessman or an election despite not being qualified. He succeeded in those areas because he made people fall into his frame. The stronger your frame the less you have to rely on reality. You shape reality to your will.

That being said you can often get so far away from reality you botch the whole thing.

so he always knows how to respond to situations correctly.

You probably just 'think' he does. The reality is that your dad is probably just as clueless as anybody else most of the time.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]JackGetsIt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I wasn't trying to dump on your dad. There are men like your dad that have better frame with less resources and experience and men like your dad with terrible frame.

    My point is that frame can be tied closely tied to reality or loosely. You dad probably got all those things with good frame. Frame helps you build more material things and experiences that then help you maintain frame even more.

    [–]FuckMichaelMcCoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Fair enough, I saw your point too, just wanted to make it clear that wasnt the case for him. Cheers