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MGTOWDating girls does not equal happiness (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Yonski3

A few months ago I decided to try something new in my life: to abstain from dating any girls for a while and to see what will happen.

Like most men - from a very young age - the chase/seducing/meeting new girls and maintaining current ones were the main focus of my life. Sure I had other things going on but also those things - like going to the gym/making money/places I lived - all of those were also close linked to me meeting girls and becoming better at it.

From pure biological view point it makes perfect sense - our genes main purpose during life is to reproduce themselves as much as possible.

This is why when you get a girl and end up having sex/having a good time with her - there Is a small (and very fleeting) pleasure that reward you for your time and trouble.

The nature of that pleasure (the genes are smart) Is to fleet quickly so you will seek it again and again and by that spreading your genes more and more.

And this is how we get stuck in this maze of constantly seeking for the "cheese" at the end of the maze again and again and again.

But if we choose to stop for a second and look at this process - we discover that the amount of actual pleasure and happiness we are getting from this blind process is much smaller then all the suffering/pain/stress that this is causing us.

it's like digging up an endless hole in the ground seeking a treasure we will never find.

With this understanding - I have looked at life and realized that the chase just doesn't make sense if I want to live a life of joy and happiness.

so I deleted my tinder, stoped looking at girls at public seeking their attention, talking to them, chasing them , etc etc, and basically just started doing my own shit and to see what will happen.

results? stress levels went down, anxiety went down - happiness went up, inner core became stronger.

Does that mean I am going to abstain from dating girls for the rest of my life? probably not. but it certainly takes the pressure, importance and sense of urgency out of it.


[–]BowlOfCandy 81 points82 points  (28 children) | Copy Link

Monk mode is a great phase to engage. You acquire a natural abundance mentality purely by disconnecting & resetting yourself - you channel a patience and discipline that really grounds you. Self improvement is a breeze.

But monk mode only lasts so long - on the order of 6-24 months.

As it subsides make sure to keep an eye on your motivation - be present and aware of your real-time experience. Women, as much of a pain in the ass they are, have a biological influence of keeping us sharp. Their hypergamy drives us to compete in dominance hierarchies - competition with other men to be the best.

When you take women out of the equation you'll need to source your motivation from elsewhere. Chasing/fucking women is like a drug - your hormones keep you hooked to it when you're on it. When you disassociate from it and break free from the addiction, your hormones slow down. You reach a point where you can pride yourself on not giving a shit about women - because literally you don't. It's liberating.

You'll have more time, and you'll have more resources. You'll buy all the toys and gadgets you want, and you'll spend more time on the hobbies you enjoy.

But it's never enough, you'll notice something doesn't feel right. You'll feel a boredom - it confuses you and scares you. You keep filling your life with shit you tell yourself matters, you'll proceed with your routines.

At this point one of two paths will happen:

  1. You continue down the path of your routines and your MGTOW lifestyle. Your motivation continues to bleed, you let yourself go. You continue to search for a purpose. Having more money doesn't satisfy you - you perpetually chase activities in attempts of achieving fulfillment.

  2. One night you go out being social with your friends. Your mindset of abundance will attract a hot girl you weren't even looking for, or maybe you run into an ex. You'll fuck for the first time in a long time - and it will be one of the easiest lays because you genuinely didn't try at all. You'll feel like a king that night.

When 2 happens, you'll notice something strange about yourself. The hormones start raging up - you're hornier and start thinking about sex more often. You notice your motivation climb - something went off in your psyche and it feels good. You'll fantasize about women again - all of a sudden you give a shit. It may anger or confuse you, or you could even feel ashamed of it - you feel like you lost all the "progress".

What happened is you've re-engaged your biology. You're back to competing in the dominance hierarchies. You're face to face with your biological purpose - the evolutionary destiny that is procreation.

What are you gonna do then? Go back to MGTOW? Or are you going to respond to your biology?

I'm trying to figure out the answer to that myself.

[–]grewapair 15 points16 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

What I've found is that the only thing I've gotten out of relationships is the extra effort I put into my life trying to entertain the girl. For example, I might plan and pay for a fantastic vacation for the two of us that she did literally nothing for. Didn't plan, didn't pay for, didn't do shit.

Then I think about how much better my life is when I have a girlfriend. But it was all from me, not one iota from her.

There's a sort of repeating joke on here that women think your money is "our money" and her money is "her money". But they think that about everything. "You exist to make "us" happy, while I exist to make only me happy" is their mindset. It's exactly the same way they think about money, but no one ever figures it's how they think about everything.

If you're a billion percent better looking than the other men they can get, I'm sure they'd work hard to keep you, but if you're an average guy, that means dating down into the uglies. Not worth it any way you slice it for an average guy. If you can make it into the top 20% great. If not, it's hard to justify the time and money.

[–]BowlOfCandy 4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Each of your paragraphs is a different topic, loosely strung together under a theme of "women just wait at the finish line, women are solipsitic, women aren't worth the trouble".

You can learn how to play with fire, but there's really no point in complaining about the fact that fire can burn you.

[–]grewapair 8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

No. My point is women will add very little to your life unless you date down. What you get from a girl is the fact that you push yourself harder to please her, which does make your life better, while she herself will add very little to your life unless you date down.

When I think back about what I've gotten out of my relationships, everything has come from me. Everything.

So you really don't need the girl, other than as a source of motivation. Once you realize that, you just motivate yourself. At that point, they provide almost no benefit at all.

[–]The_Noble_Lie 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like like you had toxic relationships / partners?

[–]grewapair 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

30 years of them? I mean, you can flip a quarter 10,000 times and they can all come up tails, but what are the odds?

[–]The_Noble_Lie -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How many girls we talking? 100? Really? 10,000? Give a number and lets talk real odds accounting for social brainwashing and selection bias

[–]BowlOfCandy 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Try dating women that come from more traditional cultures - Eastern European women for example.

Expect you to be the man, they know their place as the woman. Cook, clean, they scoff at feminism. Still hypergamous and solipsistic (AWALT), but you can be more at ease because they haven't been corrupted by Marxist ideas.

[–]rainbowstalin1234 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

soudns like grewapair needs to stop masturbating and travel.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]whimsyNena 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just remember you train people how to treat you. If this woman is doing these things and you're not speaking up about it, but instead rewarding her behavior by spoiling her you don't have anyone to blame but yourself.

I don't have any good advice for you on how to rectify this in your relationship and it's not my place to tell you what to do, so you can do what you want with that bit of information.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]whimsyNena 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's another thing to watch out for. Be mad, feel however you need to, but never let her see that she can make you mad. It makes her feel like she's in control of you and if she can't get anything else from you, she'll purposely piss you off. Keep your cool, be apathetic, but also be firm when something isn't acceptable.

[–]kealh 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

this is the position I am in right now. I've spent 2 months of this year chasing girls to no avail. I feel defeated and unwanted. It's all I've been thinking about. I started to stop engaging women in a sexual manner but in a friendly manner. I don't ask them out. I mainly focus on improving my conversational skills. But it gets so boring very quickly and I can't help but to be in a state of indifferent. I feel something is wrong and I can't help but to face how shitty it feels. Inadequate. Depleted. Empty and Frustrated.

I do have goals, I do work on myself, and I am nowhere near to being successful with women. Sometimes I feel like giving up. What am I missing?

Let me know if you find that answer. Because I'd like to know to.

[–]rainbowstalin1234 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I know what you are missing. To find it, you need to stop masturbating AND watching porn for AT LEAST 90 days. but, I bet you and 95% of the readers wont do it, or try to rationalise not doing it. its up to you though. I found the answer through it, maybe you can too. . .or not. up to you really.

[–]kealh 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I already have tried that and I'm better off than I was before.

[–]tolerantman 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got to day 72, didn't change anything but made me extremely horny.

I now fap once a week, keep that T rising but won't be a distraction.

[–]NotMyBestEffort 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What you and your actions are doing is a lie. Lies this big are obvious. When attraction exists, anything other than acting attracted to her is a lie. Pretending you don't think she's hot is weak. Pretending that she is hotter than she is... weak.

Be strong enough to find comfort in the awkwardness of sexuality between the sexes.

[–]tolerantman 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

People here at TRP often forget to mention that if you don't have the looks, no mount of 'game' will ever get you laid, at least not with hot women. There are men out there who can create an online profile and have 10 new girls sending them messages each day, girls who are into them even before they get "gamed". I think the anonymous nature of forums makes people ignore how important looks and status really are since we assume everyone here looks the same and have the same social position.

[–]Ezaar 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for posting this.

[–]BowlOfCandy 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's essentially what /u/redpillschool said in his stickied comment, albeit he did it in a more succinct and direct way. I decided to write a story about it.

[–]Ezaar 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Indeed. Your expression gave way to more thought rather than having a face value description.

Nuance and brevity at its finest.

[–]evolveto 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very well described. Ran into ex, was easiest lay and boom, felt all progress was lost.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I really want to start fucking, but fucking is the exact reason why I do not want to start.

MGTOW or Biology? -- your comment should be archived. You summed it up beautifully.

[–]TheHustlingWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Amen brother. Anyone who says money buys happiness has never had money. I think our biology will always win. We don't want to be filthy rich and die lonely. I'd like to spend my dying years with family and loved ones. Not thinking about my accomplishments while looking at my Rolex.

[–][deleted] 201 points202 points  (50 children) | Copy Link

I went 8 months; no dating, no sex. Just goals, purpose, and self-development. Every man needs to go through a period like this. It should be a modern right of passage.

[–][deleted]  (28 children) | Copy Link

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[–]ThePewZ 190 points191 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I know this is an attempt to be funny, but he has a point. When you aren't successful with women it's all you can think about, when you are successful - you see how overrated it all is and you can properly devote yourself to self-improvement. Just my opinion.

[–]Yonski3[S] 81 points82 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When you aren't successful with women it's all you can think about, when you are successful - you see how overrated it all is and you can properly devote yourself to self-improvement.

you described it perfectly.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Another way to put it: Pussy is like oxygen. When you have plenty, you don't think about it much. When you have none, finding some becomes very important, very quickly.

Edit: I don't mean that you should stick with a problem woman. Just that there's nothing wrong with going out and getting laid to clear your head now and then. Then get back to whatever useful thing you were doing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I can see that. But then we have to define what it mean to be "successful with women". Before I went through my journey I wouldn't call myself successful by any stretch of the imagination. The little females I did manage to get dicked me around and took advantage of me. Emotionally I was in a place where I looked to women to validate me. I took this time off primarily to get better with women. I sacrificed 8 months for better years down the line.

If you are an incel. Then that may be a different story. I can't really speak on that.

[–]Uncommon_Commoner 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Receiving and enjoying validation from women isn’t a bad thing, it feels great when receiving it from someone and that’s perfectly normal. Everyone desires to be validated to some degree, it’s built into our DNA. It’s the cesspools of neediness that will cause extreme disappointment and despair. No one should require validation from anyone or anything, personal validation is all that matters and that is discovered from within.

[–]goober_boobz 5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Success with women is a variable term. Women are the gatekeepers of relationship success. A relationship can't be successful unless a woman is happy in it. If a man is unhappy in his relationship, but a woman is happy, the relationship is successful by default. However, women can't have meaningful relationships without men. Many women I know hate dealing with other women. ALOT of women I know are bisexual or full on lesbian, which makes me wonder how a woman who spends half her time chasing the same sex ever has time to understand men at all, let alone develop a meaningful relationship and career. A woman can't be happy with one man (or woman), knowing there is another man (or woman) out there of higher social status or more attractive looks to benefit from, while simultaneously pushing the notion of female independence.

[–]alphabachelor 8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

FTFY.

[–]goober_boobz 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Ahh, but are women the gatekeepers of successful sex?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Nah, when a women allow herself to have sex with you she is yielding to your control. You are penetrating her. Whether the sex is "successful" is up to you. No matter how you cut it. If you judge sex being successful on whether she squirts on not. It would behoove you to learn how to a get a girl to that point.

[–]goober_boobz 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'd much rather stay MGTOW but thanks for the cuckggestions.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

upvote just because of the "cuckggestion" word. lmao

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Cuckggestion? That's actually funny.

[–]ThePewZ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"successful with women" will vary for everyone. It's a feeling rather then something than something that can be quantified. And that's perfectly fine..

[–]Vanwaq 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

29 years for me. OP has the luxury to not worry about girls which is nice. Try being with only one girl in whole life and "improving" yourself constantly inner, outer , metaphysical only to get no results.

[–]Jayjk98 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Same for me man, it will be 20 years in a month 😔

[–]2virusofthemind 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your future self wants to travel back in time and give you a slap.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Mine is the first 17 years of my life. I’m not too far behind.

[–]askmrcia 7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Pffft amateurs. Try 22 being a college athlete (football) then come talk to me.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

22

college athlete (football)

How. What are you doing wrong.

[–]askmrcia 18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Single mother filling my head up with BS. Had girls interested, just never knew how to escalate past ASD.

And to be fair, a lot of college athletes that I've known had their issues with women. People will be surprised how many of those guys didn't get laid. Way too many of my teammates did nothing but play video games on weekend nights.

But at age 27 things are far different now. I'm basically the opposite of myself from back then.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can relate. I was raised by a single mother as well. In retrospect she tried her best to turn me into a beta - she practically raised me as a female. Smh.

[–]zyqkvx 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

27 is an absolutely great age to turn things around. Remember how when you were 20 all the 20s girls were crawling all over older guys (about 27) and rich fit guys in their 20s? For one, I hear guys about 27 can go to Cancun on spring break and nail a few 20s girls a day if can stomach that kind of audacity. Most of them have boyfriends back home and go there with other women with boyfriends and have fuck holidays.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]1jb_trp 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's been a couple months for me. I gave up drinking. I stopped smoking weed. I cleaned up my diet. I cut out sugar and other crap. Working on cutting back from jerking off and giving up porn. I cleaned up my room and took a long inventory of my life.

I've made goals: Goals for my fitness. Goals for my hobbies. Goals for reading. Goals for personal development. Goals for my finances. Goals for my career and my future. You get the point.

I've centered myself and am learning a lot. I'm learning I can be way more productive than I ever have been before. I realized I don't need women to "make me happy." I'm learning I can and will better my career, make more money and use that money to get out of debt and reach my goals. I've found a gym I love... It's a hole-in-the-wall in an abandoned warehouse with 24 hr access 365 days per year, and there's almost no one there when I go. I can spend as much time as I want without feeling rushed. And I've learned I can kick my ass when I go lift weights and do it right, and I'm learning the right way to lift and how to have a diet to support my goals. This year I'm going to get shredded. I'm learning I have more strength within me that I ever imagined. I've lost almost 20 lbs since my ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago to this day. And I'm happy.

Any way, without rambling... This season in my life is important to me. The reading, the budgeting, the diet and working out... It's going to develop habits that will help me the rest of my life. I'm going to put things in place that will make my life 1000x better than it was if I don't take the next 6 months or year, or whatever I decide to do so. And if I was still on Tinder, mindlessly swiping right and going out for drinks with chicks, sure I'd be getting laid, but I'd also still be an alcoholic with no direction and not much future. I'm doing this for me.

So I get your point.

[–]zyqkvx 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Careful. Brain scientists say talking (or being told) about future achievements as if they are a given stimulates the same brain centers as if you actually accomplished those achievements, removing your motivation. Knowing this, from about October 2016 to March 2017 I had the best 6 month monk mode so far. Not sharing was one more dicipline like eating clean and working out. People start turning heads. It doesn't need to be discussed in any way. I didn't burn my halo effect into the ground by talking about my efforts. Maybe it deserves a name like 'effort radio silence'. Next time I go in to maintenance monk mode I'm going to do the same thing.

[–]1jb_trp 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, anonymous stranger on the internet... I'll consider your words and think about ways to apply them.

[–]dta9191 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I went 5 years without dating after losing my first serious girlfriend. It was awesome not having to worry about girls. I mostly focused on my hobbies and hanging out with friends. Got urges, but avoided them when I could. I think every man needs time away from the chase. Totally agree.

[–]MartinMcFlyy 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Created a business in only 6 months of monk mode. Though I still masturbated but that’s because my sex drive is high but yeah you will come out a different person or at the least a better mindset

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Been about 18 months for me. Unfortunately fell off the wagon for a good bit of it and let alcoholism get the better of me for several months while I was working a shit retail job.

Now I've gotten my shit together. I have a real job that starts my career in software development at age 23. I drink much less, run and work out more, take MMA classes, and just joined a gym in my new area. On top of that I'm signed up for a half marathon and I'm sure I'll be able to make it through it.

Struggling with social life though but trying to focus on myself. I might stop wearing earbuds at the gym even though people aren't super social (usually). I find that talking to some of the bigger muscle guys is good cuz they're always happy to give good advice to skinnier guys like me. I have good muscle tone, but being 6'3" and 170-175 lbs makes regular clothes hide everything. I need more and desire to gain at least another 10lbs muscle.

[–]RandyBumgardner85 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've done this a few times before I took the pill. Usually after a oneitis breakup. I agree it's something every man should go through. The main benefit to me was to break free of my ego's reliance on validation seeking. No matter how Alpha you are, there is always an element of validation seeking in chasing women.

That being said, I do not agree with the OP's assertion that the reward is not worth the work. Banging and connecting with hot chicks is the greatest pleasure most men can experience in life and a man with a good sex life is generally more fun for everyone else to be around than one without.

[–]Arabian_Wolf 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s called “Monk Mode”, read /u/illimitableman post about it.

[–]rainbowstalin1234 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

were you masturbating and/or watching porn during this time?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I tried to do no fap. But I probably masturbated on average 1-2 times a month. What was really important to me was not using porn and in the 8 months I watched porn 3 times.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]zyqkvx 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. Self improving from a skinny guy to your basic George Clooney build pays dividends forever. If your inner game is compatible to your climate savor every minute of it. I'd make a point to self improve anyway because you can't assume it will be that way forever, and it's easy to delude yourself later citing successes now. Saying self improvement won't make you happy is like saying money won't make you happy. It does to a fair extent, and just importantly eliminates so many disadvantages, and so much sorrow.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]zyqkvx 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I say it won't make you happy because you always want more and more. If you reach a goal you're happy for, like a week mostly, then what? It becomes boring and you'll want more.

No it doesn't. That's why I named George Clooney specifically. He doesn't look shredded or like he goes to the gym every day. He probably got that build in his 20s and cruised with an occasional maintenance workout ever since. Compare this to skinny guy with his philosophical truths. It's just retarded.

It's about the least you can do for women. Women put in a lot of effort to look good. It's retarded to think they don't value basic effort from a man, and thats observable to say the least.

Here's a random pic of Clooney in about 1985. link. Is he shredded? No. He's just not a skinny geek. He doesn't think of himself a homosexual because he has white teeth. Doesn't look like he's afraid of his own shadow or women. Clean shirt. No mustard, or bizarre wrinkles. You are pretty much the top 20% just by doing what I just covered. Women don't look at men that have put in no effort in their body and think, OMG I don't care, it's his mind that's everything to me. Quite the reverse so you can't 'starve that stat'.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I vehemently agree with self-improvement and goals won't make you happy in the long term. Especially as men. We are mission driven/goal oriented. That's why they say having a woman in your life is "icing on the cake." The actual cake consist of mission/purpose/goals.

No matter what a man improving himself and attaining goals will be happier and more fulfilled long-term regardless of if he has a woman in his life or not. The only time I can see this not being the case is if he's setting the wrong goals (not his own personal goals) or trying to improve himself for the wrong reasons.

Yes "game" is a form of masculine expression but gaming women should fall in the the category of a hobby. It contributes to your happiness but doesn't detract from it. And that's the difference a man not living his purpose, reaching his goals, and improving will not be happy long term. Doesn't matter if he's dating a super model or even makes six figures.

[–]Non-PC-Guy 85 points86 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Dating is something men are brainwashed into believing they’re supposed to do in society and women are brainwashed into believing they are super special, and that the men should wine and dine them and pay for everything. How about sometimes the man pays, sometimes the women pays and sometimes both? How about just hanging out at her place or your place and having a humble night in by watching a movie and chatting or something? Also, society is brainwashed into believing that relationships are all about romance and emotions, never mind integrity, decency, faithfulness, loyalty, unconditional love, etc. Romance is the least important thing in a relationship; it should come after all the hard work is put in on both sides. If a women has nothing to bring to the table in a relationship besides sex she is nothing but a worthless flesh hole.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

precisely this. Some parts of the world (I'm looking at you, Asia), have this general relationship-part down pat.

That is to say: hard work comes before "romance" and "love", and without effort from both parties in the relationship, it, and social structure will devolve (a la the West).

[–]cosmicsadist2 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

But but i like worthless flesh holes. Knowing a woman is your worthless cumdumpster feels great. Pump her full of semen like the cum hole she is.

[–]Non-PC-Guy 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

If I did do this it would only be because I couldn’t resist my urges, but I don’t want to become like the whores I despise and would not willingly set out to do this. Why should I compromise my morals and decency for a women who is probably betraying her boyfriend or husband? I wouldn’t want the same done to me if I was in the blue pill phase. I’d rather go to war against the urge and do what’s right. It’s not worth the short term pleasure (a 3 second payoff) in exchange for your soul.

[–]cosmicsadist2 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

What? Fuck that flesh hole bro. Maybe shes a whore by choice? Nothing wrong with a woman sleeping around. We liberated woman sexually and then complain about it afterwards. Just get your nut man. It will be like your personal cum toy. Doesnt get any better than that.

[–]Non-PC-Guy 9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

BS. MGTOW men complain that women are disloyal and immoral, and many are angry that their wives have abandoned them, and you advocate encouraging their whorish behaviour and behaving like a male whore yourself. MGTOW monk is the way to go to start a revolution that makes it clear to women how far they’ve fallen and to give them aspirations to change once they realise they are being rejected on a massive scale. I know this is hard on your cock, but this is bigger than your cock. The whole system needs to change and marriage needs to be redeemed.

[–]zyqkvx 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nonsense. Having a flesh hole that sees you as her dick pound is not only great, it puts you in great mental state of clarity. It's like bluepill bleach. It doesn't necessarily mean either of you are going to branch swinging whores. Though it probably means she will or is. Just focus on low milage women. Men are raised to see everything the do as sinful. Women are not, they do not relate sex to sin like men have been raised and don't even understand why a man would, or respect a man that does. They do know how to exploit a man that constantly is concerned about sense of sin. This doesn't mean you have to turn in to a shithead, it just means to get over yourself with your bullshit sin upbringing.

[–]Non-PC-Guy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, that’s where we’ll have to agree to disagree. I know for a fact sin is real and it has nothing to do with upbringing; I wasn’t raised religious. I’d choose what’s right before God over a flesh hole with no morals any day. If I have to go to war against my sinful urges, so be it. Many women do have a sense of sin; they are just not good at resisting it as men are.

[–]bongohai 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Marriage may well need to be redeemed. But that will have to be left to future generations to resolve. The women available today are beyond redemption.

[–]Rommel0502 45 points46 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

But if we choose to stop for a second and look at this process - we discover that the amount of actual pleasure and happiness we are getting from this blind process is much smaller then all the suffering/pain/stress that this is causing us.

This is the reward schedule for anything that provides short term reward. Most negative things in life have a short term reward schedule. (Drugs, booze, video games, crap food, porn, spending money, etc). Most positive things in life have a long term reward schedule. (Education, fitness/lifting, healthy food, career focus, saving/investing money, etc).

The core of discipline is the ability to defer short term reward for long term gain. Focusing your life around getting a ten minute short term reward of pussy is a prescription for disaster. Instead, if you focused on all long term gains, you would find that getting that short term fix would be the least of your worries.

[–]Yonski3[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes.mindfulness meditation can be a great aid to change your focus.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women arent the point of life. Good job dude.

[–]mikerate 34 points35 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I agree, I just started tinder and it's like a drug. Every swipe or match your brain surges with dopamine fantasizing about the girl.IMO it's no different from porn. I wasted so much time constantly checking it and hamstering when I should be studying.

[–]Yonski3[S] 17 points18 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Tinder is highly addictive. my advice is to remove the notifications from it and only check it once or twice a day.

[–]SovereignSoul76 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. Personally, I only snort heroin. Injecting it would be nuts ;)

[–]zyqkvx 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't do tinder, but I'd think you'd only check once every 2-3 days. I know that sounds like pulling teeth, which is why it also you would come off as not thirsty. Much more time efficient and keeps you out of being a sucker addicted to their phone.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't you just disappear in the sea of men she's talking to.

[–]zyqkvx 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

If my math is right only the ones on the first day, but if she responded the first day she's the type that would pine if ignored.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh i didn't realise you said you didn't use it.

Unless you sort that shit out quick you're forgotten about. This was when i was using it 3 years ago. Can't imagine what it's like now.

[–]zyqkvx 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe I shouldn't have suggested it at all since I don't use tinder, but That does look like the winning math to me. Who cares if you lose some anyway. That's part of the point.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]MrGreySD 22 points23 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I can relate to this so much. It was almost like an addiction throughout the last 4 years.

But the last 2 months have been bliss. I feel truly happy and I am progressing faster than I have ever progressed.

Furthermore, spending more time making money = more money = more women. So it's win win.

Women are a short term pleasure. Fun in the moment. When you quit dating, you're left wondering what you gained from ever partaking in it. It feels empty.

[–]Yonski3[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad to hear you are doing well. it is an addiction indeed, and it's something I have been doing all my life without realizing that the actual reward I am getting from it is absurd.

[–]grewapair 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dated nonstop for 30 years. Within a month of a breakup, I was back into the next one. Then a bad injury sidelined me for two years and I had to stop.

Once the injury was behind me, I had no motivation to restart. Why, I wondered.

Because I had literally gotten nothing but validation out of the relationship. The women had put in zero effort while I ran around and made their lives fantastic. What I had gotten out of it resulted from the extra effort I was putting in, literally none of it came from them.

If you're so good looking that women are jumping on your dick, I'm sure it's really great, but the effort it takes for an average guy to get and keep a girl is simply not worth it. If you can boost yourself into the top 20%, great. If not, well, 30 years of experience is that it's a complete waste of time.

[–]MrGreySD 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said, and it's cool to hear my thoughts backed up by someone who's further on in life.

I enjoy flirtation with women I meet in public. I might date ones that I bump into in daily life. But going out of my way for them is where things turn sour. Dating apps are the ultimate waste of life.

[–]abhishek9129 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women are just a passenger on the train to your goals and the goals beyond. You put in too much time and got great with Chicks. Now you abstain, get awesome at life and realize and increase your self worth. Next move is to balance the two and enjoy the life. Happiness is subjective and BS, its a state of mind. It changes form time to time. Never static.

The survive and reproduce theory is BS as its was relevant when the humans were scarce.

Today it should be - enjoy fuck progress-in-life repeat.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Finally a brush of fresh air! There have been so many threads about how to pick up girls lately I almost forgot the most important thing about Redpill philosophy: "self-improvement". keep doing what YOU WANT and dont listen to anyone else

[–]3chazthundergut 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes and no.

Happiness should always come from within. And every man must be 100% comfortable being alone.

But chicks are so fun. Flirting, dating, touching, teasing, fucking. The smell of her hair. The look in her eyes when she surrenders herself to you. The little gasp she makes when you enter her for the first time. The sound of her laughter. The way her lips look when she smiles. The softness of her skin. The warmth of her body as she presses herself against you. Those little dimples on her back. The animal noises she makes into her pillow when you're fucking her from behind.

Yea, you can be happy without chicks. But God, how boring!

[–]noleague 35 points36 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

I gave up dating a while back, the stress just wasn't worth it

My life is a lot better and happier without that hassle

[–]Mrbumby 4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

If dating is stress, you’re doing it wrong.

May I ask what was stressing you?

[–]RandyBumgardner85 9 points10 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

No idea why this was down voted and the post above up voted. Dating is not stressful if you're game is solid and natural and you have genuine abundance mentality. Rejections, flaking and shit tests cost you nothing once you can master your ego.

Most of us aren't there yet, but once you are, it's easy.

[–]Metalcrazyx 8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Find a girl who is HB 7+ and can talk about evolutionary biology, technology, exercise science etc. Basically intelligent topics that involve logic. That is why dating sucks, attractive girls are boring for a thinking man, besides sex

[–]InfiniteMuscle 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just lol. Why would you want a woman to be interested in logic and philosophy? Those are masculine interests bro. When I'm with a hot chick, I don't care about how "intellectual" she is. All that matters to me is that she is feminine, loyal, and low-drama.

[–]360_no_scope_upvote 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's not women are for, and you're still thinking women are like men which they are not. Don't be so serious all the time and learn how to let loose and have fun.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

God damn this is so fucking true. Good point.

[–]destraht 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When I'm in California I definitely don't date and I only hook up here and there up in the naked hot springs. Back there women infuriate me and I become quite sexually frustrated, even if I've just hooked up recently. Now I'm currently in Eastern Europe, East of the Carpathians in a tiny city and I'm not frustrated at all even though I haven't been banging lately. I've been focusing on my programming projects and I just released my beta1 rc1 to the folks back home who are depending on me. Feels good and now I'm jamming on my sabbatical projects and that feels really good. I see lots of women around that appeal to me and I know that I'm going to snag one when the time is right and that also feels really good. I'm also busy looking at real estate and studying with my private Russian language tutor and that feels good as well. So I'm not having sex just right this moment and everything is pretty neato actually. I feel good because I'm seeing lots of progress on many fronts and I can imagine that the future continues to be good. Well, back in California I just feel dread. IMO things aren't right at all there. A woman, not a woman, doesn't matter. Sure a good woman is a +1 but if other things aren't good enough for you then a woman or three isn't going to make your life awesome. I'm verifiably miserable back in California and that isn't at all the case over here.

[–]BrickSandMordor 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cuckifornia. (SoCal) Where women are bred to be man-hating, materialistic, aloof, whack-job idiots.

[–]U-94 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dating is pointless, yes. But I still want to go out and bang someone. Alcohol helps dumb down all those higher functioning thoughts. I improve myself the rest of the week. It's not a big deal. None of it is.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Let them chase you. It's a whole lot easier. 😉

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

i did the same but at some time i noticed i was looking for prostitutes because i just had the necessity to have sex but didn't want to spend energy with 'dating' and 'keeping the girl in the circle' with messages and whatsoever. just wanted something easy that could me get that feeling for a while.

[–]vitamann 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Did it work? I've contemplated this for a while, it seems overall a lot more stress free.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, seriously. Doing this made me feel like a 'special man'. I mean: right now i'm so busy with work and 'my own things'. By my own things i mean the plans i have for my future, my gym training, my clothes, my time playing videogame at home, chilling. I used to be a guy that gave a lot of effort talking/keeping girls in the circle and dating women. I've been Always successful in this segment, but right now I just don't have enough patience/energy to do this. I feel myself way more into my things than in keeping a girl in the circle just to date some day and hope to have sex. I'm a very cold guy in this sense, so, i just found out that hiring a prostitute sometime and having this ocasional sex was better for me. As I said, it made me feel 'special' - like: i don't have enough time to spend talking to girls or making social relations. Right now I'm way more 'going solo' on life and it feels really good to me. I even left WhatsApp and all social media. It feels good and, as you said, stress free. I don't feel bad because i hire prostitutes sometimes just because i know i can go out and meet women, i'm not doing it just because i have more importante stuff to do.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's nonnegotiable that everything in life is about sex.

We're driven by our genes and testosterone to accumulate power in the form of higher status, better car, better house, bigger muscles, etc. This is done predominately to gain more opportunities for reproduction but that's just part of who we are as men.

We can't just ignore that we're sex driven.

[–]RedPillMGTOW 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's nonnegotiable that everything in life is about sex.

That is not true. Sex takes 3 minutes of your life. There is way more to life than sex.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you misunderstood what I meant.

Everything in life for men aside from basic needs (water, food, sleep) is about creating more opportunities for reproduction.

[–]FrankieGGG 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Directly after copulation the devil's laughter is heard" - schopenhauer

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't read it, just the title, but I can vouch for this.

I was talking to my recently divorced brother and I had just broken up with my gf at the time.

We were like, looking around our lives like "where are the problems? What is going wrong without me noticing? Surely there must be something. Our women were always complaining or causing a stir over something!"

But no. Nothing. Just peace

[–]Modredpillschool[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (67 children) | Copy Link

On the flip side, when your veins are pumping testosterone, it's close to impossible to ignore the call of nature. For many (myself included) this means requiring me to fulfill my evolutionary duty to spread my seed in order to find happiness. And there's nothing wrong with that. If man wasn't built with this drive, our species would have died out long ago.

Don't make up excuses because you're stressed about not getting laid.

[–][deleted]  (10 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]showerdudes9 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Its still easy to abstain from sexual thoughts with high testosterone. My testosterone are in the upper brackets and i feel urges at times but they never affect me for long or to the point other stuff gets negatively affected if i dont ejaculate. It requires disciplin and meditation though. But very very doable, it bothers me when people keep saying its "close to impossible". Its nowhere near impossible.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

2 years ago I thought that deciding not to orgasm/ejaculate during sex with a woman is impossible. 1 year ago I was doing it without any effort. Nowadays, I enjoy just the act and usually I don't orgasm. Didn't meditate either, but I've restarted the practice lately.

Cheers

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

I do not avoid women, Mandrake.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I do not either. What is your point? What's Mandrake?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

https://youtu.be/0he-LZNzVg0 1:00 on. Classic.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

lmao. That's exactly how my girlfriend talks about it. "I'm gonna suck your energy off you coz I need it"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Any pro tips or resources on abstaining? Having a tough time thinking it's possible.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have no resources, but let me tell you that I haven't done achieved this deliberately, i.e. in 6 months or so. It took me about 1-2 years of mixed, random effort, effort that in the beginning I didn't even know I would later use in this manner.

If you want some deliberateness in this, I'd start with doing this on your own, so start with edging (google it) without finishing. Just edge and go on with your day.

Secondly, I've developed awareness of how orgasm affects the rest of my day, for example I'm more tired, sometimes my response/reflex is slower, etc., so this helps.

Another is I've developed awareness of how desire to orgasm affects me during sex. Dunno how much directly this helps, I think deeper understanding of sex in general helps so I'm listing this in case this helps.

Anyways, before I realized I needed to abstain from orgasm sometimes during sex I already had like 1 year of occasional (maybe 20-30 sessions total) edging behind. But if you do it even somewhat regularily like 2-3 times a week for a couple months then you can easily transition into doing this during sex. For example if you have sex 4 times a week, orgasm only during 3 times of those. Honestly, for a long time it may be all you need/want.

Decide that you won't orgasm that particular time before you have sex. It's going to be easier, but you need to have a strong conviction and have it somewhere in mind, think of it like a frame of this particular sex encounter - that this encounter goal is not your ejaculation, it may be helpful to think of another goal (mine is usually just to enjoy my & woman's pleasure and woman's reactions to my actions). It's easy to say "nah I'll just orgasm it'll be fine" instead when you're really close, whether you've decided u're not going to orgasm or not, but it's easier to abstain if you did the decision beforehand.

Last but not least important, don't beat yourself up if in the heat of the moment you orgasm anyway. It happens even to me, and if I did beat myself up for every time I did this I'd walk around beaten up often enough for people to ask me whats wrong lol.

On top of everything that, sometime in the future when I feel more balanced with my life I wanna learn how to have orgasm without ejaculation coz really i'ts ejaculation that I want to mostly abstain from. There's a book by Nat Eliason which teaches how to do it in simple words, called "Come Again?". I even bought it but I haven't started it yet coz I'm in a place in my life where I can barely focus on discipline needed for this kind of things.

[–]Yonski3[S] 47 points48 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was getting laid. that's not the point.

of course it's hard to ignore the call of nature, otherwise like you said we were all be extinct long ago.

what I am saying is that with I found with my own little experiment - that having girls in my life didn't improve anything or made me more happy.

having girls and not having girls felt about the same to me overall, with not having girls have a slight advantage as less stressful as it was one less thing I need to take care of.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp[🍰] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

that having girls in my life didn't improve anything or made me more happy.

It's not supposed to. You're driving a car to a destination you chose. Whether you have a her as passenger doesn't change that fact.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

having girls in my life didn't improve anything or make me more happy.

You're doing it wrong then. Complimentary to ancillary, they should provide benefit. It's not about taking something away from you or stressing you.

having girls and not having girls felt about the same to me overall, with not having girls have a slight advantage as less stressful

Is your mental point of origin shifting when you're trying to get girls vs when you aren't?

https://therationalmale.com/2014/11/14/mental-point-of-origin/

Your mental point of origin is really your own internalized understanding about how you yourself fit into your own understanding of Frame.

It is the first thought you have when considering any particular of a relationship, and it’s often so ingrained in us that it becomes an autonomous mental process.

Personally, I was at my most Alpha when I didn’t realize I was. That’s not Zen, it’s just doing what came natural for me at a point in my life when I had next to nothing materially, only a marginal amount of social proof, but a strong desire to enjoy women for the sake of just enjoying them in spite of it.

I’ve mentioned before, the most memorable sex I’ve had has been when I was flat broke (mostly). It didn’t matter that I lived in a 2 room studio in North Hollywood or had beer and mac & cheese in the fridge – I got laid and I had women come to me for it.

It didn’t take my doing anything for a woman to get laid or hold her interest. All I did was make myself my mental point of origin.

I did a lot of quoting here, but I think it's worth it. Read the whole thing if you haven't. He certainly wasn't stressing about

one more thing he had to take care of.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

It's in my nature to be blind as fuck. I defy my nature by wearing glasses.

It was in my nature to probably die of an unaddressed infection, I defied that nature by seeking medical intervention.

Arguments from nature are bullshit. Just because something is natural doesn't make it good or right.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But sometimes it makes it functional and pleasurable.

[–]Modredpillschool -4 points-3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

So what? You dislike testosterone so chop off your balls?

Be my guest.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

You dislike testosterone so chop off your balls?

You're a fuckin' idiot, but I'll try anyways: We (maybe not you) are more than the hormones in our body.

To say "I have no control because testosterone" is pathetic and unmanly. You reduce yourself to a rutting hog rolling in filth.

To shrug your shoulders and blame nature for one's lack of personal accountability is both immature and unappealing. You forgo personal autonomy for some unthinking impulse, and act on it like a petulant child.

Nut up, be a man, and stop blaming "testosterone" for your childish impulsiveness and shortcomings in self-control.

[–]Modredpillschool 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

You dislike testosterone so chop off your balls?

You're a fuckin' idiot

You just compared having testosterone to being blind, saying that it's a problem that needs to be corrected. Want to know the quickest way to "fix" testosterone? There are people who thought similarly to you. Check it out!

I'm not out of control for enjoying sex. It's not childish impulsiveness to admit that my species has instincts.

I am simply understanding my biology and fucking girls. To me, the sort of fellow that labels sex as an impulsive shortcoming would be the incel claiming sour grapes. I've never met a successful man say "gosh I wish I could stop having so much sex."

Arguments from nature are bullshit.

Unless it's an argument about nature, dipshit.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You just compared having testosterone to being blind, saying that it's a problem that needs to be corrected

This is patently false. I said nature is not an excuse. I said it is in my nature to be blind but I defy that nature by wearing glasses. You are blatantly mis-characterizing me, and my stated position.

No one said you are out of control for enjoying sex. I certainly did not. I will repeat what I said: Nature is not an excuse: Don't say you have no ability to resist sex. You do. You're not an unthinking animal.

I am specifically suggesting you do have control.

You seem to be trying to invert my position for some reason. Go back and reread my posts.

Instincts are for unthinking animals. You choose to have sex. I am not shaming you for sex. I am trying to point out that you are a thinking human being and much more than just instincts.

Unless it's an argument about nature, dipshit

Its categorically inseparable in this context, sorry.

Edit: Way to edit your post after the fact. I'll respond anyways.

A measure of success in the eyes of others is not a measure of personal satisfaction. This is beyond the point. You use shaming language like "To me, the sort of fellow that labels sex as an impulsive shortcoming would be the incel claiming sour grapes" as though the opinion of the group is going to make me concede the point to you.

You obviously miss the point that incels put pussy on a pedestal like none other and I am here telling you that pussy really ain't that much. You're trying to sexually shame me ad hominem while I'm here telling you and anyone reading to act like a Man.

You know who uses the group-opinion to coerce? Chicks. You're comporting yourself like a stuck-up chick.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't say you have no ability to resist sex. You do

Why would I?

Instincts are for unthinking animals. You choose to have sex.

I choose to let my instincts loose when it's beneficial for me.

[–]Modredpillschool 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Don't say you have no ability to resist sex.

I'm not making the argument that you can't. I'm making the argument that men with testosterone in their veins are more than likely going to suffer long term psychological consequences for denying their nature.

That isn't to say some guys don't genuinely end up happier going their own way.

That's to say that some people (like me) would be absolutely miserable pretending sex isn't important.

My warning is one of caution.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

men with testosterone in their veins are more than likely going to suffer long term psychological consequences for denying their nature.

Prove it. Resisting sex is not akin to smoking cigarettes, you're saying 'no' to an impulse. It's like resisting the urge to consume sugar. Our bodies loudly demand sugar due to hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. You wouldn't say that resisting the impulse to consume sugar causes psychological damage. That's absurd. This is the same.

You're not issuing a warning, you're floundering in a Sargasso sea of arguments-from-nature flouting impulse control.

[–]Modredpillschool 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fucking prove it.

Humans exist because men literally couldn't resist sex.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's really dumb, evolutionarily speaking.

Humanity exists because of totally implausible circumstances that just happened to occur, and has resulted in us talking over the most impressive constructed marvel ever devised.

Your suggestion that "humanity exists because 'men can't resist sex'" is specious and absurd.

What about all the men who did resist sex? Humanity exists in-spite of them, n'est-ce pas?

On top of that, we have the technology to ensure the continuity of our species without anyone ever having sex again!

I asked you to prove that not-having-sex causes psychological harm.

I asked you to prove that because you said it did.

Have the courage of your convictions and prove not-having-sex causes psychological harm.

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

childish impulsiveness

didn't know that wanting to get laid is a childish impulsiveness

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Blaming the consequences of childish impulsiveness on testosterone is.

Be as irresponsible as you like, I encourage you to be so.

Do not shirk the consequences of given irresponsibility onto some grand order of nature that you're totally impotent in the face of. It's not true.

Be a Man and acknowledge you are more than your hormones and impulses. That you have a choice and autonomy in the face of "nature", or die like an animal.

[–]ChrisKimchee 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you won against them.

[–]Fudimaar 15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

DUDE YOU ARE A SLAVE TO YOUR IMPULSES. I used to get laid frequently. Now I also enjoy lower stress and a happier life.

[–]Rabbit-Punch 12 points13 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

its easier to resist the urge if your IQ is higher, see the Savanna Principle

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 14 points15 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

that's why people with 'high IQ' will die out eventually. this very 'resistance' by high iq people places an evolutionary pressure on developing lower IQ in society over time, to be replaced by low iq horny bastards.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 12 points13 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

It's true. Lower iq people have more kids.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's true. Lower iq people have more kids.

And that is why I am of the belief that 'high IQ' people should not hold back in trying to get laid...in fact it seems like 'high IQ' men have more difficulty in getting laid...so that means that 'high IQ' men should spend more time than lower IQ guys trying to get laid.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sure. It could be they surpass the dominance hierarchy with compassion and are punished for it.

Or maybe I'm projecting my nice guyisms here.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It could be they surpass the dominance hierarchy with compassion and are punished for it.

I don't think 'surpass' is a good word. More like 'don't understand the dominance hierarchy and are punished for it' or 'think they are superior to the dumb jocks and that the dominance hierarchy does not apply to them, and are punished for it.'

[–]1empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. Should have put 'surpass' in quotes.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not to mention all the babies of low iq alpha chad being brought up by high iq beta bob.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It definitely happens but it's in the minority.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]1empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Higher IQ people correlate with higher anxiety because they think more and act less. They can be just as horny.

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

the film Idiocracy comes to mind

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Idiocracy

I wouldn't be surprised if that movie is not far from the truth.

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

watch it, its a documentary

[–]Modredpillschool 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You are very smart.

[–]codeslinger06 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

https://youtu.be/5_jZ45Xiccw

[–]sneakyMak 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, your response is a /thread for me.

[–]1NPIF 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Taking steroids will do that to you. It's like a non stop urge to fuck or train. But there's more to life than chasing tail, fun as it is.

[–]Modredpillschool 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

But there's more to life than chasing tail, fun as it is.

Yeah, catching it.

[–]1NPIF 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're not wrong, but I don't entirely agree either. OP is onto something important; that you should cultivate other areas of your life besides your outer game to build up inner game. You can only slay 7 nights a week and enjoy the soft harem lifestyle so long before you realise fucking is a short lived and meaningless pleasure. Women shouldn't be the mission. As men we need to aspire to something greater.

[–]goober_boobz 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If we ascribe to the notion that a man's life is nothing but an endless pursuit of women to prove his manliness, then being a man is impossible to define without a woman present. Whereas women strive to define themselves independently, men strive to avoid being shamed for the same behavior.

[–]Modredpillschool 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not to prove one's manliness. It's simply about being happy.

I have no doubt in my mind that some who MGTOW are happy. Which is why I have the flair here.

But I just know if any guys are anything like me, I'd be lying to myself if I thought quitting the game made me happier.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or maybe he is just stressed about people making about the fact he ain't getting laid.

[–]BrickSandMordor 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think he's talking about being balanced and healthy. Firstly.

[–]Kobe_curry24 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a great article I actually been at that for a while now but I’m ready to get back out there and meet women . I feel like their has to be a goal some PUA have no goal but abundance. The main goal is to find the best form of a women that’s your equal . It’s journey for sure

[–]Zormut 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The call of nature only means you need to lift.

[–]Dead_Art 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't this just going monk mode? After a relationship I'll take 8 months to a few years off dating to focus on me, I'll still sleep around but there's no emotions involved on those hookups and I don't go out of my way. If pussy falls on my dick then alright but otherwise I have more important things to worry about

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Happiness leads to dating girls, though.

[–]pohlrich 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And this is how we get stuck in this maze of constantly seeking for the "cheese"

you need to understand life never designed us to run mazes, we evolved to cut through the maze anyway we want, yet we reinforce the maze instead and then end up here wondering why lifes so difficult.

dating and jumping through hoops to entertain and provide in so many different ways is just a heap of crap, don't date.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My obligatory response to the word happiness.

It's chasing a different dragon. Don't do it. Stay on mission and stay strong, and the cookies will just happen.

[–]zyqkvx 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When you get older this is much easier to see then when you are young.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

not trying to be edgy and gay, but dating indirectly led to happiness for me

obviously it wasn’t the source, but the validation and respect was like a drug as you describe. a drug called happiness

i don’t think it matters much what we do, so long as we are plugged in and respected at the end of the day

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But if we choose to stop for a second and look at this process - we discover that the amount of actual pleasure and happiness we are getting from this blind process is much smaller then all the suffering/pain/stress that this is causing us.

The stress is proportionate to how you loathe (or not loathe) to pretend, hide your mind, and play the female-male mind war game. I'm considering leaving the field too — when you get conscious you have to wear masks all of the time, it becomes hard to both respect yourself and the hens that take nothing aside from being gamed.

[–]Non-PC-Guy 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And there is everything wrong with a women sleeping around.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Women won't make you happy. Sexually you can give yourself better orgasms with porn, mentally you are more stable cos women, especially multiple women, can drive you crazy, emotionally you are more stable, physically you crush it more

I'm starting to believe it's social conditioning. Praying on base instincts of men. I don't believe I get laid anymore, I believe that the girl is getting laid. I just get sore muscles and a bit of mental stimulation, probably enacting some perversion in my head

[–]JensenMse 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I remember my last dry spell in 2014. Decided to not chase girls and just focus on my mission only. One of the happiest years in my life.

Thing is when it comes to following your instincts, you know something's missing when you're ignoring all the girls that are attracted to you. 2014 taught me a lot about how girls show their IOIs (and some were so blatantly obvious a blind man could see them) However I realize that 2015 onwards, I deluded myself into thinking having a girl by my side would make me happier. Big mistake.

My lesson I learned was: You don't need girls to live a happy life. But if you decide to have one, enjoy your time with her. Don't make her the centre of your life, you will regret it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This mane is trying to say not getting laid is cool and red pill betas are eating it up! There's nothing stressful about being cool and having women gravitate to you. Unless you're trying to negotiate attraction in which case go MGTOW. Spare yourself the futile effort.

[–]tolerantman 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I never got as much peace of mind as when I finally decided to tell girls to fuck off and live my own life, I am sure most problems in the western world would be solved if men stopped chasing women and started to do what they want to do, not what they have to.

[–]solitudeisunderrated 4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

When did this sub become such MGTOW?

[–]Yonski3[S] 11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I persoanly see a very close link between MGTOW and redpill.

[–]solitudeisunderrated 18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Redpill men are really just one late-period away from becoming mgtows.

[–]SovereignSoul76 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haaaaaaa, that's funny....I like that one.

[–]RandyBumgardner85 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

RedPill: Improve yourself to get women. Side effect: You are now twice the man you used to be.

MGTOW: Don't improve yourself to get women, they're not worth the hassle, just avoid them. Side effect: You are still a loser.

[–]RedPillMGTOW 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lie. MGTOW encourages self-improvement for yourself. Women are not important enough to change something in my life. I improve myself so i can achieve my dreams.

Side effect: You are still a loser.

You sound like a women. Throwing shit on reddit is for losers.

[–]InfiniteMuscle 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't know why you're getting downvoted. This is true.

[–]InfiniteMuscle 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah this subreddit is turning into MGTOW. I can't find one thread that discusses any positives about women. LOL

[–]fur10us_falcon 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

As someone whose a virgin what does then?

[–]BrickSandMordor 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Stay a virgin. It's much easier. Believe me.

[–]1Ill_Will7 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your telling a man he should stay a virgin? that's absurd. If you never get to care for or fuck a woman that shit will eat at you. The first time you vibe with a woman who wants to fuck you is a very nice feeling. And when you do have sex with her, it will be life changing for a virgin. The point is to not make this your main goal in life. Rather, have it when you want, clear your mind of it after you bust one on her tits and move on to your mission and continue bettering yourself

[–]savagepatchkid 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Since when was dating one of the keys to happiness?

[–]abramN 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Before I was even aware of trp, I made two choices that drastically improved my dating experience, a. I would not get into a ltr for a full year and b. I would make sure to have a good time on every date. I even had to tell one girl, who was falling in love with me, that I "wasn't falling in love that year." Lol. But it really made a difference on dates, because whether it clicked with the girl or not, I was still having fun doing what I wanted to do. She was along for the ride, and if she dug it, then I really didn't have to do much to move to the next level. It was...gasp...easy...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We cant make women our first priority in life!

[–]Vanwaq 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Non religious minority livening in a large city. Toronto the city famous for girls with attitude. Been consistently working on myself gym, meditation, career, social activities, trying "game" all kinds in different environments daytime, nighttime. Keeping positive and trying to increase my social circle. Read and watched all rsd material from now to five years ago when I started. David Angelo, David Paterson, tony Robinson, and whole bunch of positive and motivational people on YouTube. I read a lot, I watch a lot of documentaries. Regardless of my no success I keep pushing forward. Would love a lay some day.

I have also had long periods on and off where I gave up on chasing women like op to just worry about my self only and forget the whole pussy chasing shit. Well that did no good I got the same results as when I was trying-0

[–]TheHustlingWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Girls bring stress. I learned that when I was 21. 8 years later. Three businesses, a house, investment property, investments and jewellery that'll make your favourite rapper jealous. And I NEVER worked for anyone but myself. I fucked the same girl since I can remember. She is bi and started getting serious with her girlfriend. I was fortunate enough to have a couple dates with both of them. However, it's not easy. I went over a year with busting a nut. I don't know what's happening in the world, politics or culture. Just stay up to date with my Dolphins. Phins up bwoiiii!!!!! I go do my thing all day and come home to custys. I'm only 29 but the past 8 years have been lonely as fuck. I know I'm gonna look back at these days and laugh. For now I'm gonna keep doing me!

[–]Poochysnooch 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bullshit right here:

A few months ago I decided to try something new in my life: to abstain from dating any girls for a while and to see what will happen.

Translation:

"I stopped putting in effort to date and get laid"

The only fucking way you "abstain" from dating is if:

A) you have plates B) you go out of your way to ignore their calls for your cock or you tell them off.

The fact that you mentioned neither means my translation above is likely accurate.

Let me tell you a (not so) secret that about < 5% of men here have:

  • they have multiple FB's, MLTRs and even ONS so frequently that it as an act of serious will to stop the pussy from flowing

I myself have 3 steady plates (2 FB's and 1 MLTR) for 2 years now... down from 3 FB's and 2 MLTRs.

They all know I am non-exclusive and they each see me at most 1 time per week (for sex of course).

Plus I cancel on 1-3 new first dates per week and pick 1 new "promising" candidate to go out with to ensure my roster has new potential leads.

Do you think I can simply "abstain" from banging these girls brains out and dropping my loads down their throats?

Fuck no. I would have to ghost them all as they come around to take their medicine each week and buy me gifts.

I considered letting a couple go to "abstain" but honestly they look so happy guzzling my load and getting orgasms from me that I would not want to take that happiness away from them. I do it as a community service and spread my wisdom and give them the pleasures of hanging out with me. Why take it away??

You need to fucking lift more, learn game, and get into the habit of cold approaching every 7 and above as well as sending 100's of online dating openers per week. Effortlessly.

There is nothing more easy and relaxing than a 1 hour date with a random sexy creature following Blackdragon's first date script.

Proof that you are a newb where you even think the pain is greater than the pleasure:

we discover that the amount of actual pleasure and happiness we are getting from this blind process is much smaller then all the suffering/pain/stress that this is causing us.

it's like digging up an endless hole in the ground seeking a treasure we will never find.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG STILL

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You would be interested in RSD Julien's Transformation Mastery. He talks about letting go of everything: pick-up, self-help, the gym, everything. Like you said, just drop it and see how you feel. You will probably do something original that you genuinely like and are proud of. And if you really do want to do pick-up, etc., then you will, but it will come from a place of abundance.

[–]crypto_chan 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

tinder never worked for me. LOLs.

[–]wildwildeastgyal 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So you acihieved short term happiness basically.

Same as someone who takes break from work. You're gonna have to go back eventually to achieve long term happiness.

[–]laidtorest47 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, we’re conditioned to want to date because of how society views love and romance. Of course we see dating as a reward or else we wouldn’t want to date, couple, whatever. The problem comes when you convince yourself that you NEED to date. Once you get off of that mindset it’s obvious and you ironically start being more appealing because you’re not desperate. Not caring about dating for a long time has helped me date. I know my reality is that I’m not a very outgoing person towards people I don’t know so dating strangers is difficult. Dating strangers is not how romantic relationships happen and that’s what everyone who has dating problems with that need to understand. Tinder is not a natural way to date, but it is an outlet and a chance to date unnaturally. It’s all about understanding what works and what doesn’t, the tactics you need to use. But ultimately to not be using those tactics to turn people into tools for your use.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well you didn't make up a new physics theory by this post.

Nothing equals happiness. But a lot of many small things together make happiness.

[–]joner888 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haven't "seen" a girl for over 2 years

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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