Blue Pill ExampleStop talking about your weaknesses (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by hawkeaglejesus

Yet another example of how men revealing too much kills attraction

Link: http://archive.is/EOGfa - "Men of Tinder, your first date is not a free therapy session"

female clients complain that men are increasingly using dates to over-share about grievances in their lives — from divorce and family illness to financial strain and other problems. She said the issue has become a very common trend.

“The emotional labor of absorbing the traumas of a stranger is not my job and also not what I’m trying to do in my dating life.”

Women do not care about your problems. Period. Regardless of how legitimate they are. You're either a rock or a little bitch boy.

One single, Florida-based journalist who wanted to remain anonymous said her date recently revealed he was very sad to find out that his ex-wife was pregnant with a new husband.

His wife left him to get a real man's seed inside her. Good job little beta, flaunt that negative pre-selection.

Heterosexual men share relatively few close connections with one another compared to women: Studies show they have smaller social networks overall and rarely share intimate feelings.

If you're going through emotional stress, either cowboy the fuck up or share it only with your closest bros.

Too much oversharing kills the romance

When a man dumps his troubles on the dinner table during a first date, Bea says it kills the romance. “You sit there listening because you are trying to be nice on a first date,” Bea said, “but in the end you hear way more than you want to hear about their personal issues to the point where it is impossible to think about them romantically.

Comfort kills tingles.

it’s possible men are not using the date as free therapy, but are simply sharing their feelings to show they’re capable of such openness. “It’s more likely that they’re over-sharing because they know it’s a surefire way to seduce a romantic interest,”

When you have an entire generation of men being told that they need to be sensitive, open, in touch with their feelings and "communicate" this is what happens. And by their own admission, women can't fucking stand it.

[–]spin709 1 points1 points [recovered]

Couldn’t have said it better. Not only does it turn off the potential partner, but the more thought, time, and energy is spent dwelling on it the bigger problem it becomes.

The RP alternative would be to address whatever problem you’re having. Address what you did right, what you did wrong, learn from your previous mistakes and make a game plan on how not to repeat them. Fix what’s in your control and learn to let go of what isn’t. Life’s too short to let stupid shit get to you.

[–]TheReformist94 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Because most men don't have the experience or knowledge to know better and are lonely and are treated like shit.what the fuck were they expecting to happen? They said to open up and talk about feelings.they got what they asked for,so shut the fuck up

[–]Taodin 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You must see it as a competition. They never tell you what they really want. They test us all the time. One shit test follows the other. If she says open up it doesn´t mean you have to do an emotional striptease to your bones. Don´t give her the whole cake at once. Feed her slowly with pieces of a cookie, like a parrot.

[–]TheReformist94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they dont. they make it incredibly easy for handsome men. its amazing what a sharp haircut does as well. Night and day. if youre gaming hard, you arent attractive

[–]DownvotesOnlyDamnIt -1 points0 points  (0 children)


My problem is my mom died. What i did right was be there for her in her last moments. What i did wrong was let her die. Game plan: make sure she doesnt die again

Back to 4chan i go

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard 112 points113 points  (6 children)

Wives don’t want to hear about this either except MAYBE in very small and limited qualities and then only to meet her pre-qualified feelz of “he shares with me!!!!”

Men / husbands / fiancés / whatever, don’t fucking spill your problems to your woman. It makes you look weak and that dries the vajayjay out BIG TIME. Grab a buddy, get a few beers, go to a bar and fucking solve the worlds problems there but for your woman, you are KING FUCKING KONG.

Otherwise you are a bitch.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 40 points41 points  (1 child)

That first sentence is important. You've pinpointed exactly where the line is. That helps people understand the why behind the supposed desire women have to get you to 'open up' and can settle there instead of being swayed between different shades of red and blue pill.

And like anything else, it's about their own validation, "I did it! Oh...wait...he won't stop...shit...yikes what a faggot...I wonder what Chad is doing right now??"

[–]twofones 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And like anything else, it's about their own validation, "I did it! Oh...wait...he won't stop...shit...yikes what a faggot...I wonder what Chad is doing right now??"

This is the EXACT, uninterrupted mental process a woman goes through when you show sensitivity. And the 2.4 seconds it takes to read that is the maximum amount of time she will concern herself with what you’re feeling. Only enough time to check the fuck out, that’s how much time she’ll spend on how you feel.

[–]truedemocracy3 9 points10 points  (1 child)

You are the captain of the ship. Your family is like a plane - the man is the captain, the wife is the flight attendant, and the passengers are your kids. The captains focus is getting to the destination as smoothly as possible, the flight attendant is to make sure the kids are alright

In turbulence the kids may freak out, but the staff is calm up and until the captain starts freaking out.

The only time I legitimately opened up and let emotions loose was when there were deaths from family or friends. Anything else really and you should be controlled. Lose your job? If you're on your shit you have savings for months and the skills to get a new one.

Damage a car? You can take care of it. Something disappointing happens? Again, no big deal. Death of a close friend or family member is all you get and still maintain respect from your woman

[–]2Dmva100 108 points109 points  (4 children)

Don't listen to women about what they want and especially your single momma slag teachers who want you to become a genderfluid globofag because her cheezits got trampled on by the big macho fat kid with his toxic masculinity, and the 14 year old boy that she is attracted to won't bang her because he's too busy wearing a skirt and crying about how mommy and daddy don't live together anymore because the state made him give her all the money and there's no more trips to the Friendlys with happy ending sundaes anymore and mommy took away the video games and is mad because we don't have a liberal president that helps incentives AF/BB with their cuckstate laws and the dishes aren't done.

[–]pretty_bread 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That made my fucking day mate, thank you.

[–]moroots 39 points40 points  (0 children)

wow this was one hell of a sentence. cheers

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Before TRP, I was being sucked down the rabbit hole. I had girls in my ear telling me what kind of man they like and what kind of man to be. I was in the friend zone obviously. I thought I was becoming that man but they still didn't want me. Hmmm. All they did was complain about their boyfriends but chased them around trying to fuck them at the same time. This is when smart ol' me realized something was amiss! After discovering TRP, now I've realized:


"I liked the old you."

"He never opens up to me."

"Why can't my boyfriend be nice like you?"

Never take advice from a female. I have watched too many good guys follow their advice to no end and truly fuck their lives up.

[–]Mike_3487 49 points50 points  (2 children)

When you have an entire generation of men being told that they need to be sensitive, open, in touch with their feelings and "communicate" this is what happens. And by their own admission, women can't fucking stand it.

Bingo! Perfect summarization. Women do not want an open dude who is in touch with his feelings with an extraordinary ability to communicate. They may think they do but the don't know what the fuck they really want.

Judge a woman by her ACTIONS, not what they say or think they want.

[–]FlamingAmmosexual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They may think they do but they don't know what the fuck they really want.

The day women go after what they think they want is the day the world stops spinning.

[–]wsmurray 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This is true. I feel like it doesn't matter the type of girl but you're pretty much building a case against yourself. If a relationship suddenly ends with out reason maybe this was a factor you didn't realize at the moment. Many Chad's and Brad's who wont display these beta tendencies to that piece of meat you were trying to maintain.

[–]allyoursmylove 18 points19 points  (0 children)

"men" that want a shoulder to cry on... isnt it women that are looking for rocks?

[–]sometimespredictable 22 points23 points  (4 children)

It's obvious the article was written by a woman because "using a date as a therapy session" isn't how a man thinks. "Using" a social situation for anything isn't how a man thinks. These men are 100% thinking "how can I make a good impression so she likes me?"

What these men are doing is, "just being themselves", "being honest", "breaking their shells". Because that is the advice they were given. Nothing is more honest and "yourself" than showing your inner insecurities right? Also showing their "emotional side" because they believe women like men who have an "emotional side" (whatever that means).

Maybe there is a bit of "just world fallacy" at play as well. These men are thinking "I have gone through shit, which means I deserve good things now, which means people should give them to me. I should just tell them the shit I went through." But that is not how the world works.

[–]ArabSigma 4 points5 points  (0 children)

These women are just mad because the men in question are using techniques they invented against them : using the opposite sex as an emotional tampon.

But in all honestly, I must agree with what you said. They probably aren't doing it for that end. I know men who do this in an attempt to pull off what I refer to as "tortured artist game". They think opening up about their problems will entice women into fixing them by means of affection. But in reality, it only results in them being burdened by the men's constant and incessant yapping.

Only one of the people I know manages to pull off tortured artist game and he does so superbly. What he has that the others don't are good looks, witty replies, and actual passion for his art. It's not all gloom as the men in the article think. It's just good old fun and charm, sprinkled with a few grains of melancholy that should be displayed through writing, music or drawing.

[–]1Entropy-7 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The term "emotional labor" clued me in that this is more about making things easier on women rather than easier on men.

[–]CQC3 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Let's be realistic here, who the fuck wants to hang with anyone who dumps all their problems on you the first time you even meet them? That's never a good sign for anyone.

[–]1Entropy-7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, but that same language finds itself into longer term relationships where the underlying premise is that the woman has a greater burden than the man.

Are you fucking kidding? At worst it is a misalignment of POVs.

One thing that you can tease out of TRP is that women require much more emotional management than men.

Women crave drama and will go out of their way to get it. Men are risk takers and tolerate uncertainty in business and everywhere else other than romantic relationships. You want some certainty in you life andit just aint there with women.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

There’s a great post on TRP called Suffer In Silence. Men suffer in silence. Betas cry about their problems and pour their heart out.

[–]ShotgunTRP 32 points33 points  (0 children)

The only thing I can add is this doesn’t apply just for first and second dates but DEEP into any (form of including plates and FWB) relationship

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (16 children)

Never reveal your weaknesses .

Instead find other people's weaknesses and use those against them or to get what you want. Helped me a lot

[–]growinglats 9 points10 points  (8 children)

Could you give an example... I find being friendly and personable gets me what I want (at work), kind of similar to a politician being a charismatic guy... people always want to help me.

But I’m curious about your strategy

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (7 children)

Try and gauge their insecurities. Like what makes them insecure, what are they insecure about, and things like that. For example, a girl might be insecure. Shower her with compliments and give her all your unwarranted love, and she will go home with you in a flash. I guarantee it.

There is no one strategy for one person. Get to know them, find what scares them or makes them feel weak, study them (It's messed up but I treat people like a lab experiment sometimes. I study them.), and if you want something from them, find out what you want and how you can get them to give what you want

[–]BornShook 1 points1 points [recovered]

Hacking into peoples frames by pretending to care about their insecurites can work. But why pretend to give a fuck? I don't care if people like me, and I don't need their validation. I would rather have genuine connections with people. It makes things more fun and interesting. You sound like a sociopath, and no offense, but I feel like you have to have a really shitty life to be like that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Eh the connections come after. I have a good life and enjoy it. I might be a sociopath but I feel empathy especially for those suffering and my family.

[–]BornShook 1 points1 points [recovered]

To further clarify, I just felt like the way you described "studying and examining people" is kind of strange. I guess I do this kind of thing subconciously though, but to me it sounded like you go out of your way to fuck with peoples heads.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Haha nah. It's mostly subconscious. Depends I guess

[–]modTheRedPike 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dangerously close to moralizing. Knock it off.

[–]moltenw -1 points0 points  (6 children)

Can't believe this is upvoted.

Look, I get it, but being a shitty person is apparently what being a "man" is all about now, huh?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

It's a little shitty but this is how I was raised. My parents came from tumultuous backgrounds and became extremely successful by being ruthless, competitive, and cunning. I want to be like them. They are also happily married, have happy lives, and 3 kids.

[–]moltenw 0 points1 point  (3 children)

That's cool and all, but I think there's a difference between being competitive and cunning, and just straight up using people only for your own benefit.

There was a guy who said he dates/goes out with 5/10 girls just so he could later use them for connections or for some of the skills they can offer him. I personally think that that type of attitude doesn't help you in the long run.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think a bit of both is needed in life. Life is very amoral.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

How did that guy's actions affect YOU?

[–]moltenw -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What's the point of this question?

They didn't affect me at all...I'm not exactly sure why you made this comment, because even if they don't affect me, It's an example.

[–]modTheRedPike[M] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tip-toeing dangerously close to moralizing.

[–]SKRedPill 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Betaization process Stage 2 - Open up! Be vulnerable

This stuff is so important it ought to be on the sidebar. Google it

Stages : 1) Seek an alpha and make him exclusive to her and her kids. Domestication is a woman's fantasy.

2) Make him open up, show weakness and be vulnerable Get inside his head. Turn attraction to negotiation - the talk is a sign she isn't feeling connected emotionally

3) Get him to work. Shaming and withdrawing sex, emotional manipulations, starting fights... the list is endless. Exclusivity is a sexual strategy that favours children and society first, then woman and favours man least.

4) Lose attraction and become totally self serving -- At this point, most women totally say one thing one minute and another thing the next - the rules keep changing all the time. It totally confuses the man who tries to do everything her way, but nothing works

5) Become 'independent' and fly away. A woman attracted to you is a whole other animal from one that's not or no longer. Learn this from dogs.

The man in the process goes from 'greek god' to 'used condom'.

Rinse and repeat.

This only works properly when women go through the full cycle of pregnancy and child rearing. Now-a-days, the pill has dramatically shortened this cycle or eliminated it. But any guy in an LTR knows it well.

For women raising male children in a feminist society, maternal relationship means stage 1, 4 and 5 are not involved, but stages 2 and 3 of the betaization process are still relevant.

PS : There is no equivalent for a man. In the pre contraception era, a man finds a sexy woman who loves children and then tries to make her maintain her attractiveness exclusively for himself and use her assistance for his mission.

[–]zyqkvx 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Anything women excessively market themselves to be, they are not. Three examples are compassion, morality, and kindness. A short cut is to think the exact opposite and adapt.

Compassion --> do not discuss things that require compassion

Morality --> do not assume they will not fuck, or won't be dirty, etc

Kindness --> do not assume they will watch your back, or reciprocate

Anything women market themselves as, is what women want men to believe and reciprocate. That is, if a man believes a woman is compassionate, moral and kind, that man will reciprocate compassion, morals, and kindness. That's what she's after.

[–]SKRedPill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women are manipulators. It's that simple. As Illimitable man put it, they're as Machevillian as water is wet.

[–]FlipModeEngaged -1 points0 points  (4 children)

Compassion --> do not discuss things that require compassion

I'm vegetarian but pretty close to plant based for ethics and health.

Shall I, if pressed to, tell them it's a health based decision?

[–]zyqkvx -1 points0 points  (3 children)

I meant do not discuss things that require them to have compassion for you in any way. The vegetarian ethics thing doesn't fall under that umbrella. I haven't thought about that so I don't have an answer for you. In general I'd personally not mention the ethics side (maybe 5% of the time, and never as a first impression) because it makes you come off as putting something besides yourself first, which vibes as weakness. People don't listen to the meaning of words they make cliche judgements off crude impressions and buzz words. I personally would talk about being a vegetarian as little as possible. The vegetarians that constantly tell people they are vegetarian ruined it for everyone. Don't make a first impression mentioning you are a vegetarian and you've one half the battle. This is just a stream of thought so take from it what you will.

[–]FlipModeEngaged -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I see now. I have said things like 'i used to be shy and fat' ect. So that's out the window now.

Regarding being vegetarian. I'll mention it when needed, stress my beliefs in health without sounding like a preacher but stick to my guns to show I'm principled. Sound decent?

[–]zyqkvx 2 points3 points  (1 child)

'i used to be shy and fat'

yeah that's totally out. If in 1995 Gwen Stefani walked in a room and said 'I used to be fat and shy' I'd think thanks asshole I was trying to enjoy crushing on you and you say that. It's just annoying cathartic, self-deprecating fluff. I don't do that. I also don't talk about things I'm doing. If anything, I talk about things I've done, preferably things I've done months ago. It's best to talk about the same thing girls talk about: people, places, events, or anything that is not one of your missions. Vegetarianism, working out, and brushing your teeth are all missions. Missions are to be seen not heard. No-one wants to hear about how you brushed your teeth, they just want to be talking to a guy with white teeth. No-one wants to talk about vegetarianism, they just like being around this guy with clean youthful skin. No-one wants to hear about your workout, they just think this masculine guy with white teeth and clear skin who's listening to them is so fucking interesting. If you are talking about your missions you are putting those people before your missions then you will lose interest in your missions as quickly as they do. Unless they are doing better at your mission then you are your mission is going to suffer.

Sound decent?

You're asking a guy who doesn't think he should let people outside the gym see him in gym clothes. I want them to think god chose me to be that way, because that's how they categories things. I wouldn't talk about vegetarianism til it came in to play, like you were eating together, and just logistically.

<perhaps two weeks in to meeting someone>

them: want me to pick something from del taco?

me: yeah get me two green bean and cheese burritos with onions and extra sauce.

<didn't even have to tell him>

them: want me to pick you up some fast food on the way to your place?

me: yeah, anything vegetarian that looks good, or skip it

<logistics mention only>

them: you're vegetarian?

me: yeah.

them: random.. 'my uncle was vegetarian'

me: <change subject>

That's just my style. I don't put on the table anything that's not up for debate. I focus on whatever is at hand. Talk about the beach, talk about a Thai dish, if you are going to talk about exercise, talk about the water park you went to, not your gym, or swimming spot.

I'll stop there.

[–]FlipModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, I appreciate your time and thoughts. A lot for me to think about and implement.

[–]thrownaway3141592654 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Every dude needs to read this article and post. If it doesn't motivate you to stop being such a beta I don't know what will.

[–]WholesomeAwesome 6 points7 points  (0 children)

going through emotions doesn't repair anything in itself. It's only an indicator.

It sounds like this is about vomiting trauma, not simple sharing of weaknesses.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Back when I was still plugged in, I was most definitely a sharer of personal information about weakness. I'd eagerly share about being dumped by a girl, or not being strong enough to do X or Y, or about the time I was depressed... Now unplugged, I cringe at re-reading some of the emails and messages I have sent in the past. How could I be so blind not to guess that it was anti-attractive to a woman?

I remember having one glimpse of enlightenment back then. I remember at some point thinking "everybody has some burdens in life, and in a partner they seek at best someone to share their burden with and at least not someone with even more burden to carry". But I failed to follow that logic to a practical conclusion. That flickering tinder of wisdom didn't last long... until the rational male opened my eyes. Damn I am so grateful for discovering trp.

[–]RedwallAllratuRatbar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was doing it as well, for 4-5 years, on the daily basis. Not in like whining all the time, but sharing some problems once per week. And I guess it didn't matter, because I still boned all that chicks. When I got older and uglier I now need to be the rock to score anything

[–]bot256 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I learned this the hard way - there's absolutely no point to share anything about your problems with a woman you date/fuck/LTR or anything similar. That's what friends are for. A woman is pretty much incapable of giving you any advice on your male problems and also she'd rather have you listen to her ramblings instead of she listening to yours. This BP conditioning about openness is a really f-ed up illusion instilled inside us since our birth by the society and the media. Up until fairly recently I actually bought into this BS and honestly believed that being open to your partner was the way to go... Well, I am glad that I've found TRP where I learned just how stupid being overly-emotionally open to your female partner actually is.

[–]1OneRedSock 6 points7 points  (1 child)

When you have an entire generation of men being told that they need to be sensitive, open, in touch with their feelings and "communicate" this is what happens. And by their own admission, women can't fucking stand it.

It's just a big fucking subconscious litmus/shit test. It's an easy way to quickly and efficiently disqualify the weak ones.

It's not a conspiracy, just so few fathers able to teach their sons men shit and how to deal with their problems. Too many women trying to teach sons how to be men, so they raise them as an ideal of what they would want to date (psychological incest) with the frame of mind that they as women are in control of the relationship, instead of what other women would want to date.

Welcome to the feminized society where women find their creations disgusting, and therefore helpful for efficiency in their time spent dating.

[–]hawkeaglejesus[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Feminists wanted to tame the wolf, and now they're bitching that they're surrounded by a bunch of weak pathetic chihuahas

[–]jamespotter101 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It surprises me why this shit isn't a part of common sense. It was for me tho. Even before I took the red pill, it was textbook knowledge that you go have fun on a first date. Idk.

[–]FrgElder 1 points1 points [recovered]

When a woman asks or even begs for you to open up, it serves multiple purposes, but usually falls between congruency-test, pair-bonding growth, and information gathering (to be used as leverage later).

If it's early on the relationship (or even a first date), you always have to play it off with amused mastery and never ever show any negative emotional reaction towards anything. You can be dismissive of things you don't like, but that's different than being angry or sad towards them. Negative emotional reactions over amused mastery show you have a weak frame.

In the middle and later stages of your relationship they can still be shit-tests, but you'll have to dish out some emotional backstory or your LTR won't feel emotionally connected with you. The dopamine rush she gets when you're around her are much more intense when she thinks you're "omg like my soul mate". The trick here is to not just let everything out and ball like a baby. Tell her stories of emotional trying times in your life and how they've made you a better person, and always say less than necessary. You need to retain some err of mystery. If a woman feels like she has to beat info out of you, she will feel like she's accomplished something. That information has value because it took her X hours to get it, rather than the beta idiot that hands it to her for free on the first date.

[–]hawkeaglejesus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a woman feels like she has to beat info out of you, she will feel like she's accomplished something. That information has value because it took her X hours to get it, rather than the beta idiot that hands it to her for free on the first date.

"Let her dig for treasures she will never find and she will show you displays of love better than if you did the digging for her and presented her with diamonds and gold."

[–]ashbae 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Eh, you could read into this, overthink, and find a way to tie this to the shitty nature of women... or you can look at this with a little bit of common sense and see that the woman who wrote this article just thinks oversharing on a first date is weird. Kind of seems like common sense...

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (4 children)

Turn the article on its head. Change the gender. Men complain women on tinder dates are far too fat and constantly complain about everything under the sun. Common sense is for common people dipshit.

[–]ashbae 3 points4 points  (3 children)

? That makes literally no sense haha

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

The fact an article is written by a vagina person and then taken seriously is the point. If a man wrote a similar screed, he’d be lambasted. Seems like common sense...

[–]ashbae 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don't think that's the case at all.

  1. You have to be an idiot to take an author's personal opinions about dating seriously, and even dumber to accept them as legitimate generalizations about dating culture. This article has clickbait level content and is total bullshit to anyone with any sense.

  2. If a man wrote something similar about being turned off by oversharing, most people would agree with him. That's a super reasonable grievance to have - it's based on social norms, and only the willfully ignorant would try to deny that fact. The deniers would consist of people too ashamed to admit that they overshare, and that their oversharing plays a role in their shitty dating life. I have seen both men and women who would fall into this category - the commonality between them being too much pride, poor social skills, and a lack of ability to read their audience.

Yeah. So there's where real common sense comes into play here...

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The point is, contrary to an equalist point of view, men do not write these types of articles. Literally across the board, men do not think this way. Men do not get super reasonable anything. We get man up. This is purple pill horseshit.

The bottom line is when a man or all men choose to behave in a masculine way lives are saved. Ignore everything contrary to common sense and you will excel.

The criticism directed by “common sense” is entirely bogus. When you live your life as though your balls or your word decide everything; you win.

Common sense is for common people.

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you have an entire generation of men being told that they need to be sensitive, open, in touch with their feelings and "communicate" this is what happens. And by their own admission, women can't fucking stand it.

New mother fuckers read this shit and read it again.

[–]ClipClamp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree completely with this. Oversharing of every emotional issue in our lives is a relatively new phenomenon that has backfired enormously. Stoicism and stiff upper lip as ideological tenants have seemed to have been dying since the end of WWII although I'm not entirely sure how they relate.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Women are meant to be controlled, subdued, tied down, fucked, done whatever to them. They are not individuals with any sort of agency. They are best off doing what they're told to do, and following a real mans instructions. They are like children, with tantrums and outrages, crying and laughing hysterically. Just like children, they don't know what they are doing, and they need to ask daddy for instructions on how to behave and what to do. If they don't find a daddy or didn't have one to begin with, then they start causing all sorts of trouble, just like kids. This is why you experience such heightened anxiety around kids... because they are blank slates. They'll do the craziest shit simply because they have no idea that it will have a negative impact. So you see a child waving a knife around smiling, or pouring spaghetti sauce onto the carpet, or giving another kid his stuff for free, and you feel the need to discipline and punish that child. Same goes for women. They need to be disciplined and punished by their daddies when they fuck up, otherwise they remain children forever.

[–]Ou-tis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my blue pill past I talked about my problems,my life,ecc ecc and attraction faded away quickly. Girls in general want you to be strong I verified that in my gym:there is a girl who send me some IOIs and always jokes on how many girls I have and how strong and big I'm becoming. One day was with a buddy talking about workout and I told him that I have to train grip,because I feeled a little weak in that department:she was near me,I saw the pain in her face and make some comment. So,better do your things and act like you are the stronger in the world,because attitude matters a lot.

[–]drkorseinoz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Note: written from perspective of male dating female, but whatever... Maybe showin' my age, but I can't imagine doing something remotely like this, OP. Real conversation, not being "sensitive" is the way to connect with your date, and acting like a man, not a bloody wimp will get you what you (hopefully) both want. You know, holding the door, following up stairs in case the high heels make her stumble and you can catch, going to the bar, basic stuff to my ilk. My mum instilled gentlemanly conduct, but there's a risk of overdoing it too and looking like a prat! Practice helps! In other words, eyes off the electronics and pay attention to her, but NOT like a slavish, neutered, sooky, soy boy. I feel so sorry for the younger guys out there, must be a veritable minefield of second guessing yourself nowadays. Seems to me that neither gender (YES THERE ARE ONLY TWO FFS), knows how to "connect" anymore. Glad my use by date is getting closer, ha ha.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should always cancel a date/meet-up if you're emotionally not feeling well.

[–]Helrade 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Common sense and experience tells me not to over share about my problems to anyone but especially women. However I’ve been told by LTR to be more vulnerable and that I don’t tell her anything. I’m not falling for that but I do try and selectively share minor problems that do not reflect badly on me. For example do not come home and say that you hate your job.Her hamster will be thinking not about your problem but about about what kind of provider you are. Better to keep it light and not make yourself look bad.

[–]SKRedPill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read my post above on the betaization process

1) Tame an alpha to exclusivity 2) Remove his armour and make him weak and vulnerable - the talk 1.0 3) Turn him into a worker for her and her kids. 4) Drive him crazy by constantly being dissatisfied, confusing his mind, changing the rules, hiding the truth of how attraction works. 5) Declare independence - the talk 2.0 and fly to Chad.

Rinse and repeat. You are in an LTR. Just doing that puts you in stage 2.

[–]greatjobawesome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh my god. It's not that women don't want to hear about your problems. its that we dont want to hear it on a first date. How would you feel if a woman shared all her woes with you on the first date? how would you feel if a guy who was a potential friend shared all his woes with you in the first hour? you'd be like holy fuck this person is so sad that they could not wait to get it off their chest. red flag.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Conjugate only works with working out. Otherwise keep your weaknesses to yourself

[–]Razkolol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not just women, people in general don't care about your problems. Stop fucking sharing them, only instance in which you can share your problems if when you want advice from a male friend who went trough something similar, and then again don't be a whinny bitch about it. Some women also do this, they think that we give a shit about their problems, only betas that are desperate to fuck them act like they give a shit. I sometimes indulge it because for 10 mins I can just nod, and at the end you give generic non-advice like "I don't know what to tell you" and change the subject. But sharing your life with girls you've met on tinder it's like shooting yourself in the dick. She already agreed to meet you, you've already 95% scored, all you need is to keep quiet, be vague & arrange the logistics. The worst possible thing to do is whine about your problems.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My theory is that if you are attracted to someone, telling them about your problems once, if it organically comes up as being connected to and part of the conversation, is letting them know about you. Telling them more than once is usually a covert contract. You're covertly asking for too much too fast, or for something they are incapable of giving you, and its bringing negativity and unwanted disconnection into your social interaction and thus that particular relationship.

[–]nonnahsyn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women care about your problems. They just get wierded out that an almost stranger is telling them really traumatic and personal details in thier life within the first 5 mins of meeting them. Call me crazy but I don't think anyone male or female enjoys being an emotional dumpster to a virtual stranger. It makes you look unstable, socially inept and without boundaries. Feel free to open up as the relationship grows but keep it light for the first date.

[–]TheInvisibleGuests 1 points1 points [recovered]

"His wife left him to get a real man's seed inside her. Good job little beta"

You guys are borderline sociopathic

[–]moltenw -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly, yeah. Some of the comments are completely unneccesary.

[–]redpilledcuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“It’s more likely that they’re over-sharing because they know it’s a surefire way to seduce a romantic interest,”

How is it "surefire" if it obviously doesn't fucking work?

[–]EscapeTheGoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I don't want to hear about a woman's emotional problems either. Just go fucking pay for a therapist. Who's literally getting paid to listen to you whine.

[–]i_pace-around 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um. Most people do not want to hear about a person's entire life struggle on a first date. It's literally the first time you are meeting someone. People do not expect to bombarded with negative personal details right off the rip.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

Women do not care about your problems. Period

Women you just met don't care about your problems*

Men you just met probably don't care either, unless they can empathize

[–]StonerTigerMom 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Nah, they at least will listen without judgement and then point out where you’re fucking stupid. Productivity, right there.

[–]VirginPlaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"No judgment"? That's objectively not true. A very small minority of dudes will actually listen to you and give honest best advice they can. Most will laugh and try to amog the fuck out of you.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 3 points4 points  (3 children)

The only woman who cares about your problems is your mother.

[–]SKRedPill 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Even they have their limits dude. Now coming from a divorce from a past relationship that turned batshit crazy abusive (which totally hit 5 families on both sides), the only thing people told me is - "Your folks are old school and they're as shattered as you are. You'll have to be strong or else they'll crumble". I myself was going to a world of hurt and anger and regrets. I now realize the essential need for the 'man-cave', but I still need to be discreet going into it when no one's looking.

See, my mum could never take it if I so much as expressed a lack of appetite because I was feeling down after all that happened. She flat out told me that they're growing old too, if I go down under, she and dad won't be able to take it.

Well, after that I found my uncle instead, then TRP, then yoga, then the gym. Then I decided on a few lines of stoicism -- "No matter what shit happens, I don't deserve to do any more shit to myself. The world outside will only dump shit on you, that's its job. The only easy day was yesterday. I owe the guy in the mirror better, and being strong and creating light in darkness no matter how dark the world gets, is the best I can do for him. I fight and win, or die fighting."

[–]lorum_ipsum_dolor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's sidebar level stuff right there.

[–]DamnDirtyApe87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on how they feel at the moment.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When a man dumps his troubles on the dinner table during a first date

Or during the second, the third, the 47th, the 9881th...

[–]SemiLoquacious -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The same goes both ways. If a man in his first date is talking about problems from the past, that means those problems are still apart of him. If a woman brings up an abusive ex or a past drug problem in the first two dates, that means she's not over it yet.

Men should be as judgement on a woman's first impression as women are judgemental of a man's first impression.

[–]lotikpotik -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

female clients complain that men are increasingly using dates to over-share about grievances in their lives — from divorce and family illness to financial strain and other problems.

Ever thought that the reason they might be doing that is intentional? Maybe they just hook up with a skank just to vent to them, just a free therapy session.

[–]olakrak -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So how about the things she can see physically. I have started lifting the last 5 months and lost 80 pounds and still have 80 to go, and I know that I will have some loose skin and stretch marks. Wouldn’t it be like 10 times worse to get naked and surprise her with that?

[–]raywilliam639 -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

So what do women want? they say they don't want hookups they can't have a free therapy lesson