Here it is. (Spoilers: "Of course you aren't.")
What I found most interesting was the number of questions with a "yes, but I felt bad about it" option. It got me thinking. Over the past couple of decades, our society seems to have confused remorse with intention.
When a person does something they didn't mean to, they often feel remorseful. If you accidentally kill somebody by hitting them with your car, it's natural to feel incredibly bad about it. That's why it's tempting to think "they must not have meant it" when seeing somebody lamenting some previous action.
But remorse doesn't always come from a lack of intention. If you hit someone with a car deliberately, you might feel absolutely terrible about it, but you still intended to hit them. Just because you are remorseful in a later, more sober state doesn't mean it was an accident. It means you lost control, or you weren't evaluating the consequences of your actions.
Put more simply, accidents are not the same as a failure to control yourself, and feeling bad about doing something bad does not make it an accident. This should be obvious. I think the reason it's not is in part because the more we emphasize feelings, the more likely it is for a non-emotional concept like "intention" to get confused with the emotions associated with intention, like remorse.