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Field ReportFR: Dealing with a girl who doesn't want to put out (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by cartlentdentder

Summary: Girl refuses sex. I tell her to leave. She comes back, regretting her decision. We fuck.


Body:

I've been reading RP theory on and off for some years now. This episode happened when I hadn't been reading or thinking about TRP for about a year and a half. When I started getting back to TRP, I remembered this as an example in my own life where I stuck to my principles, RP or not.

I'm using the old post format because everyone should.


Around a year ago I met a girl on tinder and asked if she wanted to come over, which she wanted. For fucking, or so I thought. As we make out in the sofa, I kiss her tits. Now she's clearly very horny, but doesn't want to go all the way, "not too fast". We go back and forth with me backing off when she resists and escalating again a few times, after which I go "what's the time actually?" and she leaves.

At this time I wrote her off and didn't pay her any attention, but she contacts me again and she comes over, again. This time she tries to pull the same thing, now it's clear she's using sex as a weapon. That's the biggest red flag in my book and any woman doing this is barely plate material. I'm getting tired of her and don't want to waste any more time and flat out say "I don't think we are a good match for each other, I'd like you to leave", not half an hour after she arrived. I can see she's a little shocked, but leaves my apartment.

Three minutes later she knocks on my door, "having reconsidered", and I fuck her brains out.


Lessons Learned

  • Be ready to reject pussy and the pussy will come to you.
  • Value your time and energy, don't waste time on time wasters.

[–]BlackFire68 245 points246 points  (10 children)

I expected to see a blank post here as you simply don't deal with a girl who won't put out.

[–]DeadliftRx 77 points78 points  (3 children)

That's my thinking. Just cold drop them, because, with today's atmosphere, they are way more likely to 'regret it,' afterward.

[–]pohlrich 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yes and claim rape, because she felt "pressured" and is a "naive young girl" who doesn't just have sex on a second date, she felt "manipulated" by a "sexual monster".

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]Prankoff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    great shitpost, 10/10 username aswell

    [–]the_mad_mad_cow 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    [–]AshyBoneVR4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    0:46... Holy shit I miss Street Sharks. RIP Ripster.

    [–]BoringOral 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Read the title and was only clicking on comments to say wtf why are you even dealing with that

    [–]Realworld 107 points108 points  (5 children)

    Lost track of how many women (6-10?) joined me in bed but insisted they didn't want to 'go all the way' yet. In my pre-reddit days, I assumed they honestly knew what they wanted. I'd respond same way each time... tell them I was tired, roll over and go to sleep.

    Every damn time I'd get the same result. They'd watch in disbelief and when they saw I was honestly sound asleep they'd realize they were blowing their one sure shot at me. They'd wake me up from sound sleep and want to fuck. "Jeez, what time is it? We'll fuck next time. Go to sleep." Seriously worried now, they'd insist on sex then and there. I'd roll on, fuck, roll off, and go to sleep again.

    I considered it like putting a bookmark in place. We both knew she was ready and willing next time.

    [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    The funny thing about theredpill is that when you start to analyse your own past behaviour, you've been doing the right thing in some places and not so much in other places.

    I had to learn that half of what a woman says is maneuvering bullshit: she doesn't mean what she says.

    But then there's the times where I was goofing around with friends, whether it was pretending to be stoned as a teenager or acting like I owned the bar in early twenties.... I never tied that back to some of my successes until recently I talked to a high school friend and she said that she genuinely thought I was stoned back then. She ended up cheating on her boyfriend with me that night, or would've if I hadn't stopped it (because I thought it was wrong).

    I can see how that made her only want me more in hindsight.

    (ps automod removed this comment because I had /r /theredpill minus space as unauthorized site. Perhaps a bit overzealous?)

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]2Dmva100 196 points197 points  (62 children)

      Did this before except when I told her to leave I left as well and drove to my other plates house to fuck. She tried to follow me but got stuck at a red light. Texting ensued for the whole evening. I didn't respond until the AM after my other plate drained my balls.

      When they try to weaponize sex, double down (A+A) and use it back.

      And for all the folks reading who have been stupid enough to get themselves into an LCF position, keep a plate that can host so you can do exactly as described above. Never grovel for sex. LMR is just as contextual as a womans hypergamous evaluation. If you and your (god forbid) LTR have steady sex, but you went to a party and some Chadder guy talked to her for 10 seconds, when you both go home to bang afterwards, she'll probably throw up LMR just so she can rationalize knocking you down a few beta pegs because she thinks she can score him based on a microinteraction while you struggle to figure out 'what's wrong' while you try to overcome her stonewalling. Don't be that guy.

      [–][deleted] 222 points223 points  (25 children)

      LCF, LMR, LTR

      jesus fuck, is this a Lexus model lineup discussion or what? how the fuck is a noob like me supposed to know what all those fucking abbreviations mean?!?!?!

      [–]SpaceEnthusiast 50 points51 points  (1 child)

      LCF = Legal-cohabiting Female

      LMR = Last-minute resistance

      LTR = Long-term relationship

      [–]untonyto 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      Yeah my brain ran aground on LCF, I even began to question my redpill credentials.

      [–]Trposh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I read it as "Let's Cuddle First."

      [–]Taodin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Same... i am using a urban dictionary cause i am from europe. Can´t know all your shortenings. You would choke if you learned our language, try to talk with us and we would use our slang and words like this. And the funny thing about it is... the urban dictionary are translating wrong. WRong translation : LCF= Look cool factor, LMR= Like my recent. The fuck is going on.. THIS

      [–]Old-Jewish 36 points37 points  (13 children)

      There's this really cool thing called a sidebar, sounds like you should check it out sometime

      [–][deleted]  (5 children)

      [removed]

        [–]chubz4you 31 points32 points  (3 children)

        Im new, feel like i need to print that list off. It is extensive.

        [–]PhaedrusHunt 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        [–]spellignerror 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I put it up on the wall of my cubicle at work. Handy reference guide

        [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Not every acronym you see in the comments or in posts are in the sidebar.

        [–]arissiro 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Glossary or not, I think it’s just a ridiculous way of writing. Jargon has its place here and there, but excessive usage is just bad writing.

        [–]assparticacid -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        You can use urban dictionary

        [–]womans_algorithm 58 points59 points  (12 children)

        and your (god forbid) LTR

        Why god forbid? I have LTR and I have much better time with her than i ever head with my previous plates. I understand why some men prefer plates, but that doesnt mean you should preach everyone to walk same path.

        [–][deleted]  (9 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]PhaedrusHunt 12 points13 points  (1 child)

          Fuck yes I concur. My chick is amazing. RPd as hell just naturally. She's never HEARD of TRP but just gets it. Always wants my opinion on other people's relationships.

          Also we NEVER argue or reallhave conflicts. It's easy.

          [–]DivineDimSum 2 points3 points  (6 children)

          So applying the above scenario to your LTR, would she throw up LMR?

          [–][deleted]  (5 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]DivineDimSum 0 points1 point  (4 children)

            So how literally should I take it when someone uses the term, "AWALT"?

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–]Celicni 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              It doesn't mean "literally every single girl WILL cheat on you". It's simply a "if you break frame, it CAN and PROBABLY will happen".

              [–]DivineDimSum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Ah I understand now, thanks

              [–]wheredalootat 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              How many plates have you had?

              [–][deleted]  (7 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]every_minute_louder 66 points67 points  (4 children)

                Ive been here 5 years and don’t even know LCF

                [–]2Dmva100 43 points44 points  (2 children)

                Legally Co-habitating Female

                [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                [–]1Zanford 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                haha the red light story, I have a similar one. I outright told a plate (who wasn't even misbehaving) I had to go grab some of my shit from an ex-gf. The plate waits for several hours in her car outside my place while I'm at the ex's, banging her brains out. I come back, let the plate in, and she was crazy horny, asking for it in every hole.

                [–]Fuckerofmothers64 31 points32 points  (0 children)

                This guy redpills, that is an insight few have

                [–]seducter 7 points8 points  (6 children)

                This sounds good but Im having trouble with what you mean by A+A and LCF. Never seen these terms before lol.

                [–]RatRaceConqueror 31 points32 points  (4 children)

                thats because hes inventing random bullshit acronyms on his own, but it can only stand for agree and amplify

                [–]seducter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Thanks man, you the real mvp!

                [–]monadyne 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                LCF isn't a made up acronym. LCF = Legal Cohabiting Female

                The honorable thing to do would be to apologize.

                [–]carvedouttastone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                "when she tries to weaponise sex agree and amplify" - can you give an example of this please?

                [–]warthundersfw 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                Rationalize knocking down beta pegs?

                [–]2Dmva100 35 points36 points  (0 children)

                Lowering your value by getting you to confirm beta status to her via your groveling for sex

                [–]manonthemoon14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                "when she tries to weaponise sex agree and amplify" - can you give an example of this?

                [–]tall_bacon 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                I did this once and the woman threatened that she’d tell people about me at a local winery we frequented.

                What happened was...I was escalating and each time she’d say “just letting you know, we’re not having sex tonight.” Happened about three times, and when number four interruption was about to happen I told her to get the fuck out.

                Anyway, I called her bluff regarding her threat afterwards and told her that she was being a fucking bitch simply because the night didn’t go her way. I wasn’t about to let her weaponize sex and I made sure she knew that I knew what she was doing.

                She apologized profusely an hour later, and then I blocked her.

                Sometimes you need to rub their faces in it. Cold rejection is usually enough, but not for some women. They need to learn.

                [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 58 points59 points  (14 children)

                She wanted to fuck the first time she met you. The problem was your handling of LMR and ASD. Textbook thing if you ask me. Still a solid post, no Sperg noticed, ou’re my bro. Read some shit once in a while please

                [–]MonkeysOnARock 9 points10 points  (13 children)

                How do you think he should have approached the LMR?

                [–]Razkolol 54 points55 points  (2 children)

                Had this happen before, op acted correctly. It's mostly a shit test, translation is: "will you do shit for me if I string you along w/o putting out?" the answer should be "no lel get out". They don't value their time since they waste it on stupid shit all the time (makeup, social media, chatting up betas etc., the average girl is boring as fuck), you should value yours and act accordingly.

                [–]MonkeysOnARock 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                Yeah that was the implication.

                [–]yomo86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Armchair pickupartistry or TRP alphaness is one thing. Making the right calls in the right situation is key and frankly, OP never made a wrong call he just haven't made the right ones. Happens to all of us.

                [–]zealanderx 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                It's always the same thing man,

                A lot of people have techniques and strategies... fuck that shit.

                Girls just ALWAYS want to have fun... when you make a move on a girl- she goes inside herself and feels, "are things getting better?",

                If you are momentarily making shit better, more fun, exciting, thrilling, you don't get LMR...

                When you come across as an internet creep who hasn't fucked in a while and this is his big break so he is jumping across normal sexual tension building procedures... LMR gets hit up, when she's unsure... when she's not having more and more fun.

                Make shit fun or sexy

                [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                By reading sidebar, book of pook and getting some frame by lifting weights.

                [–]CoolStoryBro1337 -1 points0 points  (7 children)

                In a sense, not playing her lmr game and just telling her to put out or get out is very RP in itself tbh

                [–]MonkeysOnARock 33 points34 points  (5 children)

                That is the worst LMR strategy I have ever heard

                [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 9 points10 points  (3 children)

                A gym trainer once proudly told me that when a rich girl he drove around in his new diesel car told him it smells like fries he told her to gtfo

                [–]freshoutofgravitas 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                ....but did he bench her hot pocket?

                [–]Wh1te_Cr0w 62 points63 points  (4 children)

                Dealing with a girl who doesn't want to put out? Move on to the next. Fixed.

                [–]Hviterev 34 points35 points  (0 children)

                idk, in op's case it was dealt with.

                [–]nofilmynofucky 24 points25 points  (2 children)

                next time read the thread before commenting

                [–]Wh1te_Cr0w -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

                This solution is universal, it doesn't depend on further context.

                [–]RedPillWintergreen 20 points21 points  (1 child)

                The sad thing is that in another world, a woman not putting out the first time you meet would be a sign of quality. Nowadays it means she's trying to pull a power play.

                [–]tenXten 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                Amen, brother. A-fucken-men.

                [–]1Zanford 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                Well played, you're an ice cold mofo in the right way.

                [–]cartlentdentder[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                My tolerance for bullshit has gone down significantly the last couple of years.

                [–]RandyBumgardner85 26 points27 points  (3 children)

                It's probably worth mentioning here that there are quite a few girls on a Tinder who won't put out on the first date simply because they don't want to be pumped and dumped. For this reason if I'm met with LMR more than once on the first date I'll back off and subtly give the impression that I've got things to do.

                On the second date there really is no reason for her not to put out and I'll ditch the subtlety if it's not going down.

                [–]cartlentdentder[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                Ironically that makes me more inclined to pump and dump them.

                [–]Ganaria_Gente 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                Except that if your a girl who's on Tinder there's only two things you are looking for. Sex. Or validation ego boost

                If she shows up there's only two things men should do. Pump n dump. Or just boot her

                [–]simplisticallysimple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Dramatically lower the chances of her withholding sex by asking her to come over for the first date

                [–]simplisticallysimple 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                When she doesn't put out, or resists sex, always cut off all attention. Don't even cuddle with her anymore. Keep a physical distance if necessary, purposely be distant, play with your phone.

                99% of the time, she'll ask you, "What are you thinking?"

                Give her a one-word answer. Keep attention withdrawn for at least 15-20 minutes. Now try again. If she's still acting up, ask her to leave immediately.

                Don't text her again. 99% of the time, she'll text you first. Ask her to come over again. Same thing, but chances are she'll put out this time. If she still resists, hard next her.

                You've tried your best.

                [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (9 children)

                This is a case where you should feel badly for the girl more than annoyed with her. She's been fed the lie that women are supposed to use sex as a weapon her entire life and she's just doing what she's been told to do, to her own detriment. You are likely the first guy who didn't give in and beg/fight for it.

                [–]CC_ee 56 points57 points  (4 children)

                Using sex as a weapon is more female nature than it is social conditioning.

                [–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (3 children)

                I disagree. Women are biologically programmed to want sex too. They are socially conditioned to think that they don't. Women are the ones who slut shame because they don't want their weapons to lose their power.

                [–]WolfenSatyr 10 points11 points  (2 children)

                Women are also biologically programmed to seek the fittest mate. LMR is the final tactic to force men to prove their worth. This desire often overrides the desire for sex.

                [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                LMR and weaponizing sex are two different things, don't get them confused (though admittedly I'm not sure which one actually happened here). The former is an attempt to test, the latter an attempt to subdue. The best way to think of it is:

                LMR: I'm making sure you're man enough for my pussy.

                Weaponized sex: I have the pussy and so I decide if you get to have sex or not.

                [–]WolfenSatyr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Oh trust me I know the difference. The first means I might try her again later. The second means I'm walking away from her.

                [–]1empatheticapathetic 33 points34 points  (3 children)

                Women aren't dumb. They know what they're doing. Wtf is this.

                [–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I would worry about this kind of girl...she came back because she "reconsidered".

                What if a week later she reconsiders yet again...and reconsiders it into some kind of rape?

                [–]Joey_Lopez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Same happened to me recently. I was seeing this girl. She said that their was a rule that she can't sleep with a guy until she dated him for at least 3 months. I corrected her and told her it's a 3 date rule that if the girl doesn't give it up by the 3rd date you drop her. She was shocked saying imagine how much her body count would be if that were the case.

                Then the end of the 3rd date came and she still was holding out. So I told her that it's the 3rd date and if nothing is happening then I'm just wasting my time and said goodbye. After that she started texting me a lot to come over for Netflix and chill. I ignored it at first cause I already wasted 3 dates on her for nothing. Then I decided to answer and see what she was talking about. She basically threw it at me as soon as I walked in the door.

                [–]Wolveryn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                How deal with a girl who doesn't want to put out?

                Imagine a Bill Hicks Laugh... "Nyahahahahahahahaha" then silence... followed by a deep slow motion:

                "YOU DONT!"

                [–]HumbleRedPillStudent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                This puts into articulation, a red pill truth that deserves Red Pill balance-- LMR is real and it's often weaponized for leverage. Pickup artists will advise you to use techniques to "blast through" LMR, but that is not balanced. LMR does not mean to keep stubbornly banging your head against a sexual wall...but the disingenuous practice of a woman withholding something that naturally happens spontaneously and organically should grate heavily on your patience threshold. As Rollo says in light of LMR bullshit, firmly excuse yourself from the situation and devote zero attention to the LMR girl. She'll either reconsider or it won't.

                [–]WestyWorld 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I mean yes the nuclear option works but...you only met her twice?

                I think it’s pretty rash to conclude she’s using sex as a weapon that early.

                Some girls just don’t put out right away because they are actually more selective about who they will spread their legs for.

                Of course almost any girl will do it for their dream guy. But just because she said no to going all the way on date one or two doesn’t mean much.

                Unless she lied about her intentions prior to the date (i.e. tons of sexual innuendos).

                Otherwise though I am glad it worked. You wanted sex, you got sex. Can’t argue with results.

                [–]KitchenRelation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Your post format was so beautiful among all the trash I've seen so I up-voted immediately.

                Quality and succinct field report with no non-sense just like how it should be.

                [–]CourageousCauliflowr 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                How maniplulative. This was rape.

                [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                You have no idea what rape is. And this is coming from a girl who experienced actual rape.

                This chick was just stupid and lacked any self-respect, that's her fault.

                [–]CourageousCauliflowr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                "actual" rape. "forcible" rape. "real" rape.

                "it was her fault. she was asking for it." totes.

                [–]thenatty1 0 points1 point  (10 children)

                Wouldn't it be more satisfying to shut the door on her face after she "reconsidered" and have another plate come over instead?

                [–][deleted]  (8 children)

                [removed]

                  [–]thenatty1 -1 points0 points  (6 children)

                  So you would end up giving her what she wants? I’m still new to RP but wouldn’t that be a move by someone who doesn’t have the abundance to fuck other women?

                  Like I don’t need to give her my dick is what I’m saying

                  [–]1empatheticapathetic 32 points33 points  (0 children)

                  It's entirely up to you. When a woman disrespects you, guys on here say "drop to plate status". Personally I would just cut her out my life but this has resulted in pretty poor results for me honestly. I've learned from others experiences here that I should probably just drop my pride a little bit and get the sex and stop taking it so seriously.

                  You draw your own line.

                  [–]rcsob 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                  Sex is sex; if you want to have sex and can have sex then have sex.

                  [–]king_of_old 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                  Considering it 'giving her what she wants' indicates you're in her frame. Maintain your own frame. If you maintain your own frame, you are 'taking what you want'. Same exact physical reality, different mindset. It's about the mindset.

                  You don't need to give her your dick, but you want to. So you do. Abundance mentality neither broken nor displayed; it isn't a part of it in this case.

                  If she would walk off but not come back, then you would show a lack of abundance mentality by trying to make her come back. You would display the presence of abundance mentality by not caring and going on with your own business.

                  [–]MrH0rseman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  If a women leaves either sexually charged or you took a dump on her ego, she’s going to come back no matter what.

                  [–]Twentyfivedeep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Basically every girl in basically every situation will mentally twist herself into believing she got what she wanted from you at your expense. If she's a colleague, you're on your way from the printing room to your desk and you drop off some paper at her desk, at her request, she'll assume you're attracted to her and that she has successfully manipulated you, even if it was no inconvenience to you and you did what you did out of simple choice. If you aren't willing to risk "giving her what she wants" in the process of taking what you want, you're hardly gonna get laid, and you're never gonna have a strong frame.

                  [–]Nocryingok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Be careful with that mentality. I've been getting there often these days: seems like me and the girl are "competing to see who wins". truth is it's not a zero sum game. OP wanted to bang her, didn't he ? Now you suggest that he rejects her (and miss having sex with the girl, a presumably attractive one) just to come out on top and teach her a lesson?

                  If that turns you on more than sex then go for it, but remember: men and women complement each other, and when a girl decides she wants to be fucked by you she's submitting to your masculinity, putting herself in your hands. That's beautiful if you ask me.

                  [–]EcoastDistrib 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                  That’s the TRUE meaning of RP. Do what you want. Some dude just called you amateur hour but clearly he doesn’t realize that RP is doing what makes YOU happy. If it makes you happy then do it.

                  [–]fauxVision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Did anyone else see the title as “dealing with a girl who doesnt want to pull out” LOL

                  [–]varlogmessages 0 points1 point  (3 children)

                  This could easily blow up in your face with serious reprecutions. Jail, rape accusations. You won't work, be able to rent, date others.

                  [–]Questionnaire7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  She willingly came back and stated she reconsidered. There is no increased chance of a rape accusation than in regular sex here. Shit this was regular sex.

                  [–]romansparta99 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                  These guys are pieces of shit just from having a look around, you’re talking to a brick wall

                  [–]smoko90 0 points1 point  (3 children)

                  So I am new here, what is plate material mean?

                  [–]Rapante 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                  Meaning she is suitable for an uncommitted sexual relationship.

                  [–]2Overkillengine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  And specifically nothing else unless she proves otherwise.

                  [–]strikethrough123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  I lost my virginity this way. Left the bitch's place because she wouldn't put out. Next day fucked her brains out with 0 LMR.

                  [–]tokinbl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                  "Bitches - people in general - are replaceable" - that should always be the mantra