Red Pill TheoryPractice Discretion (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1TheProphetPhysiquiel

What's up gents. I saw a post here briefly mention the importance of being discrete, and I think the subject warrants its own post.


TL;DR- Keep that shit to yourself.


We've all been told not to "kiss and tell," and we all (well, some of us) are guilty of our young middle school or high school selves bragging about our sexual conquests. And we can't help it, we want our buddies to know that we're studs, we want the girls to know that we're the shit. But as you turn into a man, your constant bragging about your exploits is only going to shoot you in your third leg. The biggest fear a woman has is being labeled a slut, do you think she'll sleep with you again if word gets out that she licked your butthole? Worse, do you think other women are now going to want to sleep with you if she thinks everyone will find out about it?

Let the girl tell her friends about it. Because she will.

Allow me to illustrate.


I was at a house party with a lot of my old high school friends, a couple years after we graduated. I ended up sleeping with a girl I knew, and was friendly with, but not particularly friends with, upstairs that night. Everyone knew what was up. She woke up before me and went downstairs, where several people were already awake and making breakfast. I went down a little while later, said my good mornings and went over to some of my buddies, who immediately started asking me about it. People could clearly overhear, and I told them nothing happened. I didn't care if people didn't know, I'd been along on the self-improvement road for a while at that point and didn't need to brag for validation, but I also knew that the other girls (and my girl) were listening. The topic didn't last long, everyone dropped it. A little while later, two of the other girls came up to me and said "[girl] told us that you did have sex," giving me some subtle IOIs. "We could even hear her from the next room." I responded, "Oh, did she," with a little smile, and dropped the subject again. Since then, I've slept with multiple women from that party, all of them told me they thought it was sexy that I didn't say anything. I still haven't. If you're reading this and I know you, please don't screw me over.


I had gotten a new job a while ago. A girl with whom I have a history works there. My interviewer asked if I knew anyone, I said I was friends with her. After the first couple weeks, it's clear to everyone that she was interested in me, and that we knew each other well. One of my managers approached us while we were talking. "How do you guys know each other? I remember [girl] talking about you before you were hired here.." with a look on her face like she already knew. "Well we used to-" I cut the girl off before she could finish. "We met at our first semester at college, we've been friends since then." I didn't need everyone knowing I used to tie her to my bed or that she was one of the kinkiest girls I'd ever been with. Besides, that's a bad look for her in our work place. Again, I was later approached by other girls who said they knew our history, and they wanted a crack at me too. Had I done all the talking, they wouldn't have been as comfortable being that up front with me.

And that's just the thing.

By having a reputation of discretion, girls trust that they can let go with you. They feel comfortable speaking and acting boldly about what they want from you.


Law 4: Always say less than necessary.

[–]apatel215 111 points112 points  (7 children)

Respect....that shit is your business too. Im one to keep my circles small and would obviously tell my closest friends as im sure most would too. Bragging also shows you don't get much as is. discretion = abundance. thoughts?

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel[S] 38 points39 points  (1 child)

Good point. I'd agree with that, but I'd say abundance comes first, and when you come from a place of abundance, you don't feel the need to brag about it.

[–]RedPilledGodEmperor 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Very true. I remember my early days of college when I started getting hooking up and getting laid, I felt the need to tell guys as a way to be like "I'm getting action too."

Now, I would much rather just be discreet. It's one reason I want to get my own place. It would be able to sleep with more women because they like that when a man is living on his own, they can be more discreet and she doesn't feel as slutty.

[–]redd_reality 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I agree. What one could do, is say nothing happen, but do it with a very subtle extra bit of confidence. The agree and amplify type of confidence which gives you a cushion of plausible deniability.

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly. If you emphatically explain that "Nothing happened! Nothing happened! Nothing happened!" then you're treating it like it's a big deal, which is what we want to avoid in the first place.

A simple "oh, nah nothing happened, we just went to sleep," is perfect.

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 4 points5 points  (2 children)

All of my friends who absolutely slay almost never bring it up until it is pried out of them. I don't think there is this big conference of guys who have sex a lot who decide not to talk about it. I just think it's not that big of a deal to them.

When I talk about my conquests I kind of feel like a fag. I have this irking feeling like something is wrong. The sheer fact that I'm talking a lot about them means I give them too much importance.

[–]apatel215 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'd figure at that point if they are getting girls left and right then they'd be desensitized to it regardless. And I feel you on your second point and thats where i personally point out that i tell my close friends. From my perspective, I gotta talk about it whether it'd be on forums as such or again with my close friends. I'm never gunna tell someone my business who isn't important enough to know

[–]RedPilledGodEmperor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I remember when making out with a chick used to be a big deal and I would tell my buddies whenever it happened. After you make out with so many chicks, it isn't a big deal anymore. Same with sex. After you have racked up, I would say at least double digits n count, you start to not think of it as some big deal that you fucked some new chick. Or at least not a big enough deal to tell people about it.

[–]jcornt31 41 points42 points  (1 child)

I need to read the 48 laws again. Ive been cracking at the seams with this one.

I feel like I have to validate myself with people and it probably makes me come off as self-conscious and cocky.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He who treads softly goes a long distance.

[–]TruthSeekaaaaa 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Ty... I used to brag a lot, now I realized it wasn't a good idea. I mean, I always thought it was bad, but bragging got the best of me.

Gonna change my behaviour...now

[–]ImmunosuppressedTau 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Yeah nice post OP. It's something I need to work on.

[–]every_minute_louder 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is a good one I needed a reminder on. Gotta keep your mouth shut and remain focused. Plus that adds to the mystery layer

[–]WalterEArmstrong 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Its not just women who appreciate a guy who can keep his mouth shut, its people in general. Few people want to be around a blabber mouth who tells the world every little secret he's ever heard. I learned when I was in the military, with a security clearance, how important it was to keep my trap shut. Over the years I've spread the practice to all aspects of my life. Things are better that way.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Very nice point that carries over into the rest of your life as well.

When people see you talking about other people's secrets, they'll be less likely to confide in you.

[–]EneeTtt 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Great post. Well written, straight to the point. I really need to work on my urge to talk all the time and on my crave for validation. I'm probably not enough at peace with myself, not calm enough. Do you practice meditation ? If yes, did it help you to "practice discretion", as you say ?

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks b. I do meditate, but it doesn't really give direct benefits to any one situation, if that makes sense. Meditation helps me free the clutter from my mind, though sometimes it helps me keep my frame by continuing to stay present in tough situations. Meditating might help you settle the crave for validation, but mostly you'll realize you don't need validation when you're proud of yourself for your accomplishments. Pride in yourself is very important.

[–]kendallb183 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Girls knew I wouldn't tell anyone anything... so they made me "their guy". Judgement free and no risk of me having them slut shamed by their friends = some of the wildest times ever.

"I haven't had sex with a guy in years, I've been a lesbian for a really long time, but I wanna try it again and I feel like I can trust you not to tell anyone..."

I've been at the beach with 5/6 Girls I've slept with at some point, but none say it because none talk about their hookups and I act like it never happened... everyone's happy and it's fun.

I've also slept with almost every girl out of a different social circle too because of it. Never able to get the one I was really after of course, didn't get the 9, but the 7s and 8s were willing because my lips are fucking sealed and they did NOT want their friends to know that they were so easy... as in we meet and fuck same night or second night. Especially since most of them were leading on other guys who were in their friend circle... last thing they wanted is those guys to know they gave it away so easy.

[–]1randomperson123321 3 points4 points  (2 children)

A good method I found in order to be discrete is to give direct detailed explaination of the situation, while leaving what actually matters completely out.
In short, to mention everything unrelated to the sexual part.

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Nice. I don't even go that far, I just keep my mouth shut, play it off like it isn't a big deal. With guys, they'll just forget about it in a minute and move on, but with girls.. Their hamster will spin a fuckin marathon.

[–]1randomperson123321 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I see. The plan here is to bore them by giving too much information in order to avoid being asked for similar stuff in the future.

[–]Zech4riah 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good post, this is important in social circles.

It's also important if you bumb into fuck buddies etc in the night life. Don't make them regret fucking you. Be discreet.

[–]lovs2spuge 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You used to not give a FUCK about discretion...

[–]pridebrah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By having a reputation of discretion, girls trust that they can let go with you. They feel comfortable speaking and acting boldly about what they want from you.

Very true.

I tend to live by the idea that the most capable man is typically the quietest when it comes to speaking about his abilities. The guy that can fuck you up at the bar won't go around talking about how he's been boxing for 15 years, and the dude that can easily charm his ways into your girls pants won't go around telling everyone how badass he is with the ladies.

You will rarely lose out by saying too little, but there's so much to be lost when running your mouth.

[–]Cmdrj-nice 4 points5 points  (1 child)

"she licks your butthole" this is too funny

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That was legit the greatest moment of my life

[–]JohnnySixguns 1 points1 points [recovered]

Solid advice.

One point of clarification:

Law 4: Always say less than necessary?

I'm not familiar with this...logic suggests you always only say what is necessary and nothing more.

To say less than what is necessary seems a mistake by default, no? If something is necessary, then it would seem best to meet that minimum standard.

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I agree that it is a bit of a weird one. In, say, a business context, where people need to know their given task and you get all vague and Law 4 their ass, that's wrong.

But what I think Greene is trying to say is to let people build up their image of you in their imagination. I'm reminded of something Mark Twain said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and to remove all doubt." Obviously, the goal is to not be thought a fool at all, but you feel me.

[–]JohnnySixguns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do feel you my brother.

I just think the 4th Law should be reworded into:

Only say what is necessary, and say nothing more.

[–]RedEmbrace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

'less than necessary' leaves you with plausible deniability for further social maneuvers and adds to power as you omit things on purpose. It's not for flat communication (straight talk) - it's for powertalk shenanigans.



[–]Morphs_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Reading your post also makes me wonder if you got a big dick and/or you're just really good at sex. That's usually the stuff that makes other women interested.

[–]cakeUser1 1 points1 points [recovered]

I had negative ideas about redpill. New here. This was a good post. I have an issue with being too open about myself, and saying things I shouldn't.

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

TRP certainly isn't for everyone. But stick around for a bit, absorb the core ideas, sift out the good ideas from the hate. TRP has significantly changed my life in more ways than i probably even realize. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it.

[–]ShimaRoosman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love this post. Very true, and I think this applies to a lot of things, not just women and sexual encounters.

[–]notonlyplace -5 points-4 points  (5 children)

I Disagree, Not in the sense that your way can work, and my way can work, I'm saying your just wrong, this is advice a blue pill mother would give. I found subtly dropping hints, not bragging, but being honest , works wonders.

But hey let's rewrite abstract "laws" to fit our narrative

[–]glitterydick 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Ironically, saying his way can't work makes you sound like you have no idea what you're talking about, proving his original point that you should always say less than is necessary.

[–]notonlyplace -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

I could say the same about you, and we can do this dance forever, I would rather make my stance known, so there is no confusion, rather than try and omit information. How much you make is to much information, but subtlety dropping hints works.

[–]glitterydick 3 points4 points  (2 children)

See, that is perfectly reasonable. I take issue with saying one man's approach not only doesn't work, but can't work. Your approach works for you, and that's great. His approach works for him, and that's great. Personally, I don't really see a distinction between "subtlety" and "discression" aside from phrasing.

Either way, the takeaway is that women can sniff out desperation, insecurity, and lack of confidence. As long as what you are doing comes from a place of strength and abundance, you'll do fine.

[–]notonlyplace -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Either way, the takeaway is that women can sniff out desperation, insecurity, and lack of confidence.

That isn't the takeaway, do you just rewrite what people wrote in your head? His takeaway is be discrete about your sexual encounters. he even said, "Say less than necessary"

Also women can't sense shit, And will often misinterpret a lack of confident for simply liking them, we call this playing games, this is why dread game and ignoring women works

[–]glitterydick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

do you just rewrite what people wrote in your head?

Occasionally, but I call it synthesis and extrapolation. He told a story of several successes he had in the field using a particular technique. You responded with a different technique that you have had success with. I stated what I perceived to be the through-line connecting your experience with his, namely that you both behaved confidently and maintained your frame. different frames, granted, but you still maintained them. Which brings me back to my original point. You appear from your comments to spend more effort on telling others why they are wrong rather than trying to understand where they are coming from. You would know better than I would if this is the case in your own life or if I just caught you at a bad time. If it is a pattern, I would consider that a weakness worth dedicating some time to overcoming. Food for thought.

[–]2Dmva100 -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

No discretion only allows the feminine mystique to continue (AF/BB).

Tell everyone that you're fucking her