I briefly cried in front of my bros after telling them about my depression, and now I feel like a pussy. (self.asktrp)

submitted by trpthrow87659

Just finished talking about good old times with 2 solid bros. On the ride back to drop me off, they told me they found out that I quit my job recently. What they didn't know was why.

I've been hugely depressed over lots of shit for about 2 years now. I haven't reached out because I feel a problem shared is a problem doubled. My mates have done plenty of shit for me in the past, and I didn't want to burden them. Everybody has their own shit to deal with.

They slowly peeled the truth off me. I feel like an attention whoring bitch for telling them, because if I didn't want to tell them, I wouldn't have told them right?

I was holding it tight for a while. We discussed my problems with a slight philosophical edge. Nihilism and other shit was brought up. They kept giving me bits of advice and support. I was, and am grateful.

Then just as I was about to get out the car, one of them said to me;

"Before you go, you better know nothing you tell us is a burden to us mate. We're your buds and we don;t want you bottling this shit up inside, and we're always here for you."

That did it for me.

I did that weird thing you do when you sob, where you jut your jaw out in a frown and breathe out your nose real fast in short sharp bursts.

He then put his hand out like Arney and the guy who plays Dylan in predator, and we clasped. I finished up my quick sob, and got out of the car saying "Cheers lads"

And now I feel when I see them, the character who they thought I was, the person I portray myself as in front of them, this out going, charismatic guy who shoots the shit with everyone and always has good laughs and gives harsh funny banter, is fucking dead, and now I am destined to be forever seen as "Some guy who can;t keep his shit together". And it fucking kills me.

I want to know how I can change my mindset to not think of myself as a little bitch about this whole thing.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 12 points13 points  (4 children)

My best motivation is that being here helps me remember to be good to my guy. Being surrounded by like minded women keeps me honest. And responding to other women, helps me frame out the type of wife I want to be in my own mind.

My worst motivation for being here is that I get very bored at work some days.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

"And responding to other women, helps me frame out the type of wife I want to be in my own mind."

Love this, and I completely agree. Although I don't think I could've put it as elegantly as that :)

I'm very curious to find out other users' motivations, in particular the male participants, so I can hopefully begin to receive their comments in a different light.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I agree with this so much (about male users)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They havent yet, but I hope the regular male commenters we see often come into this thread.

Male voices in a female space tend to ring out loud and clear, so understanding the motivations of these men will for me provide a valuable lens through which to read their contributions.

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

^ Exactly the same for me. Took the words right out of my mouth.

[–]mytenthmuse 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am motivated to visit and comment here because I am still in the process of converting my beliefs from the liberal, SJW point of view to adhere to RPW values. Being in a community of women who share the same thoughts as I do is very comforting, especially since I'm at a very liberal college, and I often feel too afraid to say anything that could remotely be construed as non-PC.

I have found this community to be helpful, though I will admit that sometimes I feel discouraged by all of your amazing stories, because I have crushing moments of doubt sometimes that I can ever attract a good enough Captain. But that is on me, not on you lovely ladies.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I like posting here because I feel I can share my experience to help other women improve their relationships. I went around the pot to find the handle in just about every way in my relationship and with my femnininity, so I hope to help others avoid the blunders I made.

I like reading posts here because it reminds me to watch my behavior.

I'd love to see more posts about homemaking!

[–]videlachkadua 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My motivation to be here is the positivity and the safe space for anti feminist women. We can discuss our love for others and how we strive to be feminine and docile.

[–]rpMadler 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The consensus on TRP seems to be that commitment is no longer a sensible option for men (at least in the US), and that endlessly spinning plates is the way to go. Although I accept that there is some amount of logic behind that argument, I can't give up on the notion that there is -- or should be -- more to male-female relationships than just sex. Lurking here reminds me that there are still some women who are worth committing to.

[–]RainbowKitty77 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love the self improvement aspect. I'm NOT perfect and it's so nice to be able to admit that. I like working toward my goals.

[–]RedRaidersNeverDie 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I just discovered this sub a few days ago looking around trying to further understand my own relationship woes. I’ve been in a relationship for years with a bitter feminist and I’m just now realizing where I’m at and seeing things for what they really are. Sadly, it’s amazing that there are women like you out there in the world. Other than my mother, I don’t know any and haven’t come across any. Definitely gives me hope for the future, but the numbers are working against those of us that fancy ourselves old fashioned.

[–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[S,M] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Please remove the 'male here' portion of your comment. You can edit your flair to reflect your sex and relationship status. Please review the sidebar posts, including the updated male participation rules.

Reply to this once you have edited your comment and I will approve it so that others can read and respond to you.

Other than that, welcome to the sub! :)

[–]RedRaidersNeverDie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Done. Thank you.

[–]StepfordInTexas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I come here for information and accountability. Although I’ve always had/wanted a “traditional” marriage, my husband and I both are very new to TRP philosophy.

Honestly, I’ve had a hard time finding resources on female “frame”. I recognize that mindset is such a powerful force. There are a million and one blogs/websites on homemaking and outer beauty, but it’s a info dessert when looking for articles on not being a codependent clinger. Men’s RP articles seem to focus on that but it lacks for women.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I am brand new to this philosophy and this group, so I guess my motivation so far is that I find this way of thinking oddly comforting. Encouraging me to embrace my own traditonally feminine traits and desires has boosted my self-esteem. As an added bonus, I now feel more secure in my current relationship. I am really thankful to now be surrounded (virtually) by like-minded people. :)

[–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Thanks for sharing!

It can be exhilarating and daunting, so don't burn yourself out trying to absorb everything all at once.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. :)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!!

[–]smilesjay1234 1 points1 points [recovered]

Dude here. I read here because I find it interesting and insightful into a rather rare form of thinking about men and relationships by women. I'm older so I see a lot of Truth and benefit to TRP beyond just maximizing notches on a headboard. Wish I had discovered it 25 years ago.

I will rarely comment although I did last night because I have seen that situation play out with similar fit women before.

[–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please remove the 'dude here' statement and I will re-approve your comment.

You can edit your flair to reflect your age, sex, and relationship status.

[–]MastersBlaster 1 points1 points [recovered]

I come here to laugh at you. This is how I imagine you girls.

[–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It never ceases to surprise me when MGTOWs mock others, especially considering how upset you all get when others do the same to you.

[–]HB32341 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a rather rural place. We don't have a huge community of people, let alone a huge community of women. I love to hear the wisdom and experience of the women here.