Meta"I'm pregnant and you are going to be a father" - a guide for young men. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by FMIBMW

There are many guides here on the redpill that are absolute master pieces. TRP is a sexual strategy forum and it is best to understand the consequences of sex, especially at a young age. This guide is based on my personal experience becoming a young father at 21 years old, having to mature/man up during the "rowdy" years, and some very valuable lessons.

  • Background

I was dating my ex for about a year before I got a call: "my urine smells different & my breasts feel sore" I rushed to the pharmacy to get pregnancy tests and made her take all 3 in front of me. In 5 minutes we both flipped them over and there was a faint line - positive. It is a mix a joy, fear, despair, happiness, and emotions you can only experience when you find out. How she got pregnant? a naive teenage tier mistake with someone who was bent on getting knocked up and myself playing with fire not wrapping it up (did not find out she wanted to get pregnant until her first OB appointment) I had incorporated lifting, game, a decent income for a young buck, and focusing my mission into healthcare. My ex and I hit right off the bat uniting a couple years after high school. She was a popular all athletic girl that was easy to get along with but had some red flags that were not complete deal breakers. I mixed around in crowds and was fairly known as the funny guy respected by many & teachers alike. We both met in high school and dated for about 4 months before we drifted apart. She is 20 years old and im 21. We both co-parent while being civil and focusing on being the best parents for our daughter. My baby girl was born in January at 7 1/2 lbs.

  • What to do when you hear "you are going to be a dad"

The minute you find out your girlfriend, FWB, or hook up is pregnant is the minute you need to spring into action. The very first thing is DO NOT PANIC I cannot stress this enough. You both are very young and absolutely scared - it is understandable. This is the time your frame needs to be harder than diamonds because your child's mother is going to transform into a person you never could imagine. Her maternal instinct and hormones are full pedal to the metal starting 2-4 weeks into the first trimester and months after birth. Depending on who you knock up - she cannot afford to fuck around, stay with broke loser chumps, and do nothing with her life. Her maternal instinct, support networks, and hormones are going to cause her to grow up so fast it will make your head spin (my personal experience, YMMV) As mentioned by the post "you got a stranger pregnant: a guide" pregnancy does indeed amplify whatever is wrong with your child's mother and will put huge spotlights on what type of crazy she is - know who you are dealing with.


I don't give a fuck if your girlfriend, hook up, cousin, etc... is the most loyal princess with your disneyland hat & glasses on fully - you need to get a DNA test. Let me hammer that into your head: YOU NEED TO GET A DNA TEST During both of your young years it is common to have casual sex, FWB, no strings attached, and so forth. I ended up finding out my ex cheated on me with 2 other men near the time of conception - the DNA test came back a few days after birth my daughter is mine. I feel much more relieved and happy knowing that I didn't get duped, even though I did not the possibility is still real guys - stay safe. My child's mother and many other baby mom's will definitely be angry when you ask for a DNA test and rightfully so - you are telling they are not trustworthy & calling them a cheater which lights their hamster on fire. Do not fall into the trap and stick to your guns. It is better to spend $375 and deal with a hormonal pissed off woman than 18 years of child support & dealing with a cunt whose kid even isn't yours. Do not sign any documentation and the birth certificate until you have DNA test results in your hand. If the DNA test comes back negative then GTFO as fast as you can - do not subject yourself to a circus because you are told to "man up and do what's right!" nope, you have no legal obligation to stick around. If the results are positive then accept the situation and love your baby - they need you & a male figure in their life. Do not be a deadbeat father and run off like a little bitch - the kid will resent you when it grows up and you will miss out on an amazing life experience.


During this time you will be shitting your pants no matter how prepared you are - kids are a big deal and life changers that push you into the darkness of the unknown. It is going to be a very emotional time for the both of you and a learning experience. Be humble, patient, and for the love of god GROW UP NOW. The very first thing you need to do is stop all the kid stuff you are used to doing. If you play video games to the point of consuming your time constantly, jack off constantly, have loser friends with no goals, waste your time on useless trivial shit, do drugs, drink a lot, party, or anything your peers do what is "high school/college norm" STOP IT NOW AND CLEAN UP HOUSE If you smoke, stop now. If you party constantly, stop now, If you chase pussy & jerk off all the time, stop now. If you spend money on things non-essential to you, your child, or your child's mother, STOP NOW. Your child's mother is counting on you to support her not only emotionally but financially and morally. Start putting away money (20-30% of each paycheck) now into a savings account ONLY to be used for your child. Besides your career, lifting, and money: this women is on the top of your priorities. This women is carrying your child and sacrificing her body to eventually deliver your baby. She will be bitchy, hormonal, irrational, sick, tired, hungry, in pain, sore, and so much more - be there for her. She needs your masculine frame & support to make her feel safe and loved as she progresses along in pregnancy. You have no idea how much your child can be impacted inside the womb with neglect, stress, and not giving a shit. Once you start feeling your baby kicking and see it on ultrasound it will make you realize how much you need to be there.


As we redpillers know: relationships aren't a Disney happily ever after fantasy. Just because you both have a kid does not mean you need to be together - you just need to get along and work together civilly like business partners. My ex and I split a few months before she gave birth. We had too many problems with trust, fighting (protip: never argue with a pregnant women), her young friends making her jealous with the CC lifestyle while she was settling, and many other factors. Pregnancy & children do one of the two in a relationship: MAKE OR BREAK. Sadly mine was break. She left me after a harsh past few nights and her friend trashing me to her. She showed up back to my apartment with her friend and dumped me right there. I had a terrible reaction and my frame was shattered into dust... im a single father now. Her friend and her laughed while stomping what remained of my frame. I did NC for a week and she eventually called me asking me if I am going to attend appointments & birth. Even if she dumps you: BE THERE. I was angry, upset, and very resentful but you need to put it to the side for your child. Yes your ex might go sleep around while she is carrying your child (disgusting I know, but a harsh reality), find another man, or simply move on. There is nothing you can do about it and no matter how you beg for it to work - it is best to move on & brace for your child's arrival. I begged, got angry, started arguments, and so much more for awhile before I realized it was useless. I went radio silent until I got the call she was in labor. While I waited for that call I spoke to a few lawyers I found on www.avvo.com and got legal advice.

This was my valuable redpill lesson - do not try try to get back with an ex even if there is a child involved. You both split for a reason whether she was a cunt, you were a bitch, or both just were not right for each other. IT DOES NOT MATTER AND LIFE GOES ON. If you go through a struggle like I did: seek out support groups for single parents, trusted family, and trusted friends. It is perfectly ok to vent and get help - do not just cry about it and play woe is me.. you will thank yourself later.


Yup you heard it. Even if you are together or not - you have no rights what your child's mother does. She can skip town overnight before she pops and there is not a single thing you can do until that child is born. If you end up in my situation you need to hope for the best but plan for the worst. Luckily my child's mother wasn't vindictive despite an older fella coming in the picture as step father 4 weeks before she popped. Brace yourself for the unexpected and be ready to spring into action.


Pregnancy is divided into 3 trimesters. Each trimester is unique with it's own characteristics (YMMV for every women) The first trimester is when she will start showing a little bit and hormones will be rampant - ride it out. She may have severe to mild morning sickness, be moody, her skin will begin to start glowing near the end, and other pregnancy characteristics. The second trimester is always the best (again, YMMV) as her hormones plateau and she will be somewhat normal. The third trimester is the absolute worst as sickness, tiredness, her lack of sleep due to discomfort, and so much more. The birth is the grand finale and nothing will prepare you for what you are going to see. You are going to witness the most gruesome and beautiful sight all at once as your baby comes out with her screaming bloody murder.


When you get the call or hear "my water broke" the next chapter page in your life begins to turn slowly until the new one starts by your child out of the womb. During this time you will need to have hospital essentials (bring clothes, personal care items, a camera, and a DNA test kit if required unless the hospital does it) Your child's mother will be in good hands of nurses, her OB, and doctors. All you need to do is be there for her as she gets closer to delivery. You will see your child's mother in severe pain, agony, and possibly the risk of death. This is the time your masculine energy is needed during her most vulnerable time. Once your baby comes out (c-section or vaginal) you will cut the umbilical cord and get to hold your baby. Nothing will prepare you for the feeling of holding your child for the first time, hearing it cry, and the look you & mom (even if you both hate each other beforehand) give each other when your baby is here. It is truly a time of love, joy, and the beginning of a new chapter into manhood. Depending on your child's mother you will be in the hospital typically 2-4 days. This is the time you need to get paternity test if you need one as you typically sign the birth certificate before discharge (hospitals vary) be smart and do not get sucked into signing documents.


Once you get home from the hospital your child will remain with mom. There is no fighting it at all what so ever. Make sure to visit as much as you can and possibly make arrangements to stay for a week to help her out - she will need it. At home you both will not sleep, the baby will have the worst diapers to change, and other fun surprises of fatherhood. The good thing to remember is that it is all temporary and will get better as the baby gets adjusted to a schedule. Mom will be exhausted and possibly struggle with postpartum depression: be there for her & your child even if you are not together. Right now I am watching my daughter & her mother sleep peacefully as I type this guide out. Her "boyfriend" ended up leaving her right before birth and has not shown up since. I really could give two fucks about the guy and hope he stays away for awhile before showing his face.

In conclusion: wrap it up, know who you are dating/with, man up, and embrace a life changing experience. God bless.


Edit: mistakes and grammar. Edit: Thank you to the kind stranger for gold.

[–]NoMoreMrNiceGuy95 338 points339 points  (75 children)

The most important part is to never have unprotected sex in first place, so that you don’t have to live in this nightmare of having to take care of a child, when your life has just started. I won’t even ask about your case specifically, but my advice is - even if the woman says she’s on her pills, don’t trust her. Always use a condom. You be in charge of the birth control. I’m 22 and i can’t even imagine having to raise another human being.

[–]geturcraptogether 115 points116 points  (6 children)

Heh. Try being a father at 16. I was one of the statistics (rubber broke), and was scared shitless. Basically a child raising a child. Plus I was a junior in high school so I still had to walk the halls and see my peers everyday, on top of graduating on time.

Fatherhood will def change you.

I'm 39 now, and 3 boys later

(23, 16, 5yrs old: HS, ex wife of 8 yrs, and recent ex gf of 9 yrs respectively), I can say from experience this post is sound advice.

Obviously we (my BM from HS as we were young and broke up) didn't work out and for 18-19 years she made my life hell to the point where I had to call the sheriffs alot of times just to make sure she was there to pick up/ drop off my son on time. So yes..


These broads ain't built like our moms/grannies these days.

Edited: grammar and context

[–]BigBossM 69 points70 points  (0 children)

“These broads ain’t built like our moms/grannies these days.”

.....most aware statement ever made. Baby boomers did not prepare their girls to be women. Churches haven’t helped since they’ve all become feminized.

[–]Superfluous97 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You got that goddamn right.

[–]RedPill_Swinger 14 points15 points  (2 children)

"these broads ain't built like our mothers/grannies" My mother died in my father's arms the day of their wedding anniversary, she kept repeating she would die at her father's same age, the same day (she wanted to die the same day I believe) but it actually happened the next day when it was my parent's anniversary, my father and I think she deliberately prolonged it or at least this is the rationalisation we made out of it. My grandmother's got Alzheimer, she can't remember things well, obviously, but still remembers my grandfather dearly, whom I've never met because he died one year before I was born. None of my relatives ever got divorced and we're all family oriented, apart from my cousin who divorced after 6 months but now he's married again and has got 2 kids and they're happy.

I will be the first. No doubt about it, this generation is so fucked up and it's all so deliberately misandric that it's built this way on purpose to wage divorce Corp.

The point is there's no point rewarding the system with good behaviour. Nash was a visionary it's either good-good or shit-shit. I hope it will all collapse soon and I'll go Galt eating pop corn, then we'll have the chance to raise again from the ruble and become all k-alpha like our grandfathers. True heroes who fought for freedom, especially your granfathers theoretically in my cou try there was fascism, thanks for kicking our butts and creating a better world (my grandfather was opposed to them and got tortured btw, love you grandpa).

These generation doesn't deserve shit but sufferings. You don't "man up" to contribute to fucking up the system even further, you will only reinforce it and some other people will be vexed by it, there's no glory in self sacrifice. Men also need to have the intelligence to pick up their battle wisely. The sooner it all goes to waste, the better. Let's do like the Chinese do: demolish and rebuild.

[–]Dominika27 1 points1 points [recovered]

If you feel so sacrificed, stay alone. If u believe that every single women's a misandric cheater, come on, start running far from us. Ah, and good luck for your gift of foresight! I can't even be sure if I'm still alive up to next year, but instead here there are so many people without any doubt 'bout their future.

[–]RedPill_Swinger 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Or I'll just find a decent person like the average woman 2 generations ago. Thanks for promoting hypoagency, just by stating this you've selected yourself out. Any RPW who wants to do her part in building a family would have condemned leaving OP during the course of her first pregnancy because she was envious about her friends riding the CC only to have her bitch ass dumped by her new dark-triad "boyfriend" a bright future made of cats and gelato is ahead.

[–]FatGirlsInPartyHats 22 points23 points  (0 children)

A woman who says she cannot possibly get pregnant is looking to make you a father in 9 months.

[–]FMIBMW[S] 63 points64 points  (6 children)

Agreed. In essence she got sloppy with her pills and surprise..

I am known as the condom fairy among my social circle whenever my friends start talking about banging chicks.

[–]ya_stepdaddy 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Had my kid at 21, I'm 23 now. Didn't work out with the mom and now I'm out here becoming the man I want to be. My only regret is missing out on the earlier years of my kid, however the sacrifice will be worth it when I can support her forever.

[–]Barry9988 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Dude how did your parents take the news ???!!

[–]ya_stepdaddy 10 points11 points  (2 children)

They were supportive. My mother wanted me to have the kid, and my father already saw it coming. I had a strong oneitis for the Mom.

[–]Barry9988 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ahhhhhhhhh Man you lucky, my parents would have disowned me lol So you really were into her?? Im so sorry it didn’t work out then :(

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

same.. my dad always tells me, If i have a kid, Im on my own.

[–]DoublerDoug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was an abortion not an option?

[–]Traz_Onmale 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Yep, best advice is: if you're thinking about having unprotected sex, GROW UP NOW.

[–]RedPill_Swinger 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Or have unprotected sex in Russia then fly back to the USA

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Don't bring your infected dick back here

[–]RedPill_Swinger 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There are tests lol, and I wouldn't be so sure that they're more infected than some American chicks who are used to riding the CC in second/third world countries

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (10 children)

Contraceptives have failure rates, keep that in mind.

[–]Junted 4 points5 points  (8 children)

Birth control + 100% pullout? 7 months on that so far? Anyone else?

[–]dontbethatguynow 1 points1 points [recovered]

10 years. some aren't even on BC. I'm pretty much playing with fire.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

My ex was on my girl control and was on the 100% cum inside her game. easily 1000 sticky loads were shot into her. Nothing bad happened but definitely time to grow up before something does

[–]Junted 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going back with a girl youre doing that with is hard

[–]Soultrane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure how people get these experiences. I had sex for 4 years without protection with 2 LTRs. No one will get pregnant because you stick it in them raw. Don't be a jackass and pull out just the last second, stop doing it in time and that's it...

[–]sehns 10 points11 points  (7 children)

36 years old and only ever worn rubbers on ONS's, child free. Just pull out every damn time. If you don't have the self control to do that, use condoms.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (6 children)

what about precum? If anything that will be my downfall. When horny and ready to go my man down stairs cant stop drooling. Read somewhere that can get a girl pregnant?

[–]Ivan_The_Reddish 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Only if you've ejaculated recently and you still have some active swimmers hanging out in the plumbing. You don't release your little soldiers until you're past the point of no return, so the only way to get sperm in your precum is if they're from a previous session.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

ooo.. soo piss them out before the next round to restart the unit?

[–]hammerhearth 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yes but your pullout game is probably shit. Wear a condom or face 18 years of child support.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

you are not wrong. A girl told me shes not feeling good yesterday.. We Had sex on friday the 13th after the dodger game.. Is that to short of a time for a girl to feel anything from a pregnancy?

[–]hammerhearth 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Start wrapping it up if you don't want anxiety. I hope for the best for you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

almost had a panic attack. Thank you.

[–]PS2Errol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree. Utter madness to have any other policy. Always use protection and make sure the condoms are yours (they can be tampered with).

[–]yomo86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Condoms fail. 3 in 100 copulations are subject to condom failure either due to poor handling or product flaws. So you got a 3 percent chance of knocking her up. Remember winning the $ 5 consolation prize in a lottery at a gas station of your choosing has a lower probability than having condom failures. This and 'So you got a stranger pregnant' guide is mandatory reading as far as I am concerned.

[–]fakenate1 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Gosh, I don’t know. I just had my first at age 35, and I wish I started earlier. I’m too old to be raising a kid at this age... I really wish I had done this at age 25 when I could be a functioning human being with only three hours of sleep.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Too old to be raising a kid at 35

Are you fucking kidding me? Dude, any younger than 35 and I would've been a terrible father. I was nowhere near ready to be a dad in my 20s. I wasn't even redpilled till my early 30s.

[–]fakenate1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so old. And tired. Like, I played a double header last night and then volleyball today... my joints just hurt. I’m the most fit I’ve been in my life, but Jesus... I feel the aches in my bones.

[–]Soultrane9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol no you are not, women are too old for that at 35. Go for it.

[–]wadsworthsucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this nightmare of having to take care of a child

As an older guy, I wouldn't call it that, man. Hell, I wanted to be a dad. you know? the closest I got was a little schnauzer pup that my ex gf stole and sold so he and I wouldn't be together. And I can tell you that taking care of that pup, making sure he was fed, loved, kept warm, looked after when I wasn't around, wasn't easy. But having that living creature to love and guide was a joy like no other. But I can understand the financial uncertainty aspect. being a father isn't a nightmare. I mean, unless it's a girl. Then you could wind up going to prison for murder before she's 16-18...

[–]CptFizz 136 points137 points  (3 children)


Wrong! ALWAYS get a paternity test.

[–]crawtators 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I would usually disagree with hard rules. Sounds like a great way to change an LTR into an alimony payment. Sometimes you spend a two week trip with a girl smashing her brains the whole vacation without any protection...the math dont point in your favor. 99% of the time get a paternity test. 1% use your brains. Since you dumped your seed for 2 weeks without a rubber...your brains aint all there and then you need hard rules...like get a paternity test

[–]TriggeringEveryone 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Sounds like a great way to change an LTR into an alimony payment.

Don't tell her you are doing the DNA test.

[–]crawtators 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah the time for that in most states is long after the names go on the paper. If you are getting the test done...make that decision long before the birth. Some states she is gonna have to sign off on the blood draw/swab. Getting a paternity test secretly before signing papers isnt super realistic. Just man up and tell her in like month 7 or 8. For your peace of mind and mental health you want a paternity test. Best way to make enemies is try and be stealthy or wait til shes poppin.

[–]1Jaereth 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Luckily my child's mother wasn't vindictive despite an older fella coming in the picture as step father 4 weeks before she popped.

Her "boyfriend" ended up leaving her right before birth and has not shown up since.

This guy knows whats up. He got some risk free unprotected sex and then bounced.

[–]xardez 1 points1 points [recovered]

Surprised Hail Mary isn't in here.

This is my Negative Visualization if something like this should happen:

Keep frame, explain why this isn't the best time to have a child, sweet talk her into abortion, holding her hand all the way through. After you have confirmed the abortion is done, take her out for ice cream. Tell her you need to go to toilet. Leave and never return. Once you arrive home, delete all contact.

[–]killer_guitar_break 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is harsh truth, but the enemy would do the same.

[–]caP1taL1sm 20 points21 points  (2 children)

holy SHIT LMFAO I guess that is the best option if you want to avoid being a father at all costs. But god damn is it savage.

What do you mean by Negative Visualization

[–]GarandTheftAvto 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Negative visualization is a tenet of stoicism. Basically “prepare for the worst, so when it happens you know what to do.”

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rice, beans, and shotguns in the closet? LOL. I think I daydream too much to be putting that strategy into practice.

[–]WannaBangTheYoungins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. My girlfriend got pregnant because she didn't ingest her birth control. I told her she was too dumb to have a kid and needed an abortion before her life was ruined.

[–]crespo_modesto 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Man I'm pretty sure I got lucky with something. This girl straight up asks me "Do you like my breasts" trying to get me interested. Few months later she's pregnant(visibly)... was wondering what if I started to date her then that child that I didn't create could have been my problem hmm ehh probably not the case.

[–]conflagratorX 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Sometimes there is an option to manipulate her into abortion. I knocked up my LTR when she was out of job (actually she never had a job). So I asked her if she really wants to be on my support and being housewife for many years (of course I knew her views about being independent womyn). She told no and requested me to promise that we will have kid when she will find a job. I was desperate so I made a promise I knew I won't fulfill. Back then I feel shitty about this manipulation but now I am enjoying my life without any major commitments - I dumped her 2 years later. It is sad world where men has to resort to manipulation when women can choose what to do without any consent of father. Anyway I dodged a bullet and now I feel pretty good about it.

[–]throwitdownman 2 points3 points  (2 children)

How did you knock her up? She skipped a pill? Or did you just yolo and shot it in her? Or half-shot it in half-pulled out?

[–]conflagratorX 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Just unprotected sex in a moment of passion. Happened many times without impregnating her except this one time. After that, lesson learned - now I am always wrapping my dick.

[–]hammerhearth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's usually the way it happens.

[–]supersuperniceguy 31 points32 points  (8 children)

Wow you're only 21? Props to you man. Did you ever discuss an abortion with your ex?

[–]FMIBMW[S] 66 points67 points  (7 children)

Yes. Maternal instinct will fight you to the death - tread with caution.

[–]PabloAsscrowbar 34 points35 points  (6 children)

Not just maternal instinct. It's her key bargaining chip

[–]crawtators 30 points31 points  (5 children)

bargaining chip paycheck...FTFY

[–]kronos415 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I speak from experience. There are other things mother's will bargain for other than just money. Be very careful because the money aspect can be the least of your worries.

[–]crawtators 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This true. I know guys who would cut their paycheck in half for an extra 30 minutes with their kid. Also...just like rape...mom can fuck your career and life with false accusations of child abuse. Just fucking your paycheck in court is a lot more common...dsydic

[–]kronos415 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Well I don't think most men understand even if you have found a way to avoid all of those things which I have. You are paying for it in some way or another. I should really sit down and detail a post about it. But once you have kids you are a slave. You're either going to pay with your wallet or your paying in some sort of support that may be completely emasculating. Or you risk vengeance in the form of your kids.

I blue pulled it for awhile because I went through a particular set of circumstance accusing me of sexism. Because of the fear of being labeled a sexist I constantly tried to over compensate. Oh those don't really sound like lies I'm just not being receptive enough. The mother of my child lied about every aspect of her life. Once she gave birth though those ball of lies became completely unraveled. It was like she was wear a corset for a year and could not physically keep it in any longer.

That's when the blatant abuse starts because make no mistake about it. If you are a man with kids you will be subjected to some form of abuse. Whether it be physical, financial or emotional. In my case I left an abusive relationship, scared I would be labeled as the abusive one due to societal norms. Blue pilled for so long that I walked right into situation with a woman who is now the mother of my child and regularly tries to subject me to emotional and financial abuse. The financial abuse came duringn the pregnance and is the main reason I cannot afford a lawyer. Which is sad because I probably have a very good case to earn primary if not full custody of my child.

[–]Mike_3487 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes but it should be key to note that maternal instinct is typically (90%+) the primary reason, and bargaining chip/paycheck is secondary - - just human nature. A woman's main goal in life is to have children and take care of those children. As per the side bar, wives/gf's/plates will never love us like our mothers - - and will always love her children the most.

[–]IcreateMoney 23 points24 points  (3 children)

This should be taught in high school. Great post.

[–]H42 1 points1 points [recovered]

Taught to boys only. Girls do not need classes on exactly how to game the system and baby-trap guys.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRunawayGrain 6 points7 points  (0 children)



[–]darksoldierk 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Do not sign any documentation and the birth certificate until you have DNA test results in your hand.

You can't get a DNA test if the mother doesn't allow it unless you sign the birth certificate in many if not most staes. It's a catch-22. You can't get a dna test without signing the birth certificate, but after signing it, the dna test doesn't matter.

this women is carrying your child and sacrificing her body to eventually deliver your baby. She will be bitchy, hormonal, irrational, sick, tired, hungry, in pain, sore, and so much more - be there for her.

What the fuck ? I'm convinced that this is a woman or a BP'r posing as RP. She's carrying her child as much as it is mine, I'm not obligated to be a slave to her, especially if the it's an "oops" child.

protip: never argue with a pregnant women

Make sure to visit as much as you can and possibly make arrangements to stay for a week to help her out - she will need it.

Again, what the fuck. Dude, stop putting women up on a pedestal. She's the mother, not you. Unless you have shared custody, you have no obligation. Even with shared, you're only obligation is to "help" when your child is at your place. You don't go to the mother's house and do her dishes and sweep because "she needs it". It's her job to take care of herself, and if she's keeping the baby at her place, it's her job to take care of the baby and it's needs. If she wants help, then she should let you keep it at your place at predetermined times, not "oh, I"m tired today and need a break, take her for just today".

You got cucked, and now you are fucked. I expect in a year or so, when she finds a boyfriend and she starts letting you see your baby a lot less, you'll come back and edit this to tell people to get the fuck out as soon as possible without even trying for the paternity test. You don't have rights to your child, you didn't have it before birth, you don't have it after birth. If she gets a boyfriend and moves to some other state to live with him, what are you gunna do? She's going to take your daughter and you'd be like "oh, well I just have to man up" like the countless times you wrote that in this post, why? Because you are acting like a little bitch.

I honestly think that you are some feminist who wrote this post in this sub because you think that this is how men should behave. Please don't provide this kind of bullshit advice to men, don't tell men to "accept that you have no rights to your child until it's born". That's not decent advice. Decent advice is, "you have no rights to the child until it's born, so if you want to get the fuck out, now's your chance. It's not yours until it's born so fucking dissappear and don't feel bad about it. Your obligations only start when you are given your rights as a father". But you didn't say that.

You went on about how you think men should be slaves to women, supporting them emotionally and blah blah blah. If she can't support herself and the child, she shouldn't be allowed to have the child. If she refuses to abort it, then you shouldn't be responsible for the train wreck that's going to be that child's life.

[–]RedPill_Swinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, but I wouldn't be so hard on OP. It's machiavellinism, it's selfishness but this whole dark-triad reactionary shit was inevitable when they planned to total annihilation of men as a gender. Is it right? Is it wrong? Is it immoral? Who cares, RP is amoral. Bitches gonna get what they deserve but the stonewalling reaction is damaging honest women in return (AWALT but there are degrees of AWALT a low-count religious girl is better than a 20 years old drug addict with 2 kids). Men should learn to vet women properly and you don't have to get married if you don't want to.

[–]Lord_Teapot 84 points85 points  (22 children)

cancel insurance policies. attempt to liquidate assets. any assets I fail to liquidate must be destroyed ASAP. quit job. covert all digital savings accounts/investments/assets to hard cash. hide cash. wait it out doing basic labor in the home depot parking lot under the table, being homeless. she is getting nothing, period.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten 46 points47 points  (2 children)

In case anyone is thinking of taking legal advice from someone who posts in anime and videogame forums, this is the complete opposite of an effective strategy.

Courts will quickly discover these facts, you'll fool no one, and maximum support and alimony (if married) will be awarded after a short trial.

[–]obi2kanobi 11 points12 points  (0 children)

In divorce situations there's always someone who recommends hiding assets. Great way to wildly piss off a judge. It never ends well.

[–]DeadliftRx 1 points1 points [recovered]

I like you.

I've always said I would never have kids or divorce. The old lady and I are going to have a western-style shoot out. She's not taking my money, too. Death and lawful incarceration are both preferable to slavery under a woman.

[–]Liquorandstickher 46 points47 points  (3 children)

I found out a girl I dating was pregnant a few days after I broke up with her. I was 23 at the time she was 21. I told her I'd give a $1000. $400 for the abortion $600 never to talk to me again. She said no and Immediately threatened to sue me for child support.. she ended up having a miscarriage. Bitch could of had a $1000...

[–]DeadliftRx 22 points23 points  (2 children)

God / Karma was looking out for you, man. Don't get used to it. Your luck cant last forever.

[–]Liquorandstickher 1 points1 points [recovered]

No joke. That situation was fucked up. I was building pools at the time and the day after I broke up with her we started one next door to where her and her dad lived. Her dad came over one day and tried to fight me in front of my boss and home owner.

[–]Avskygod0 25 points26 points  (0 children)

jesus fuck being in a western country fucking sucks

[–]Walkebe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know a family acquaintance that basically did just this sans work. He moved to San Francisco and has spent the last decade being a park bum begging for money rather than pay his ex a dime of child support. It's not the route I would do, but I admire his resolve.

[–]crawtators 7 points8 points  (0 children)

TYeah...great way to keep your ex from mooching off you but also great way to fuck your kid over. Johhny lawman and timmy tax man will catch up with you eventually no matter what unless you go caveman in the woods or ship out to thailand or india or some shit. That DNA dont lie...if its your kid fucking own it...otherwise your kids gonna be some random thot or beta fucktard out there sucking off society's tit.

[–]vicious_armbar 22 points23 points  (2 children)

So basically she baby raped you. Then you willingly chose to become her bitch without even trying to push for an abortion. Men like you are why women try to trap guys in the first place. You bent over, took it up the ass from her, and didn't stand up to her at any stage. Even when she dumped you and her girlfriend was shitting on you to your face. She's such a train wreck that she broke up the child's family before it was even born. Have fun being her slave and paying child support extortion under the threat of inprisonment for 18 years!

[–]xavine 14 points15 points  (1 child)

There's a lot of male hamstering in this thread. Reading a reply where a guy states his girlfriend getting accidentally pregnant helped him get his life together was heartbreaking. Like admitting defeat and simply playing the role she chose for you. The best kind of slave is one who defends his master after all.

[–]gaspaonrocks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wow I really hope you're not talking about me... Not that I care...

[–]cautionarytaletoday 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I found myself in this situation in the not too distant past so I'll comment / add my thoughts.

My situation was that I never used condoms ever (unless I had serious doubts about the girl). Pulling out worked just fine for years. Sounds stupid, perhaps, and in the end it certainly turned out that way... but I had slept with well over 150 women without ever catching an STI or getting one pregnant. That is, until one day I misfired because I was too hungover for my dick to work properly. Subconsciously, I had even starting to even wonder if I was sterile and wondered if a child wouldn't be the worst thing to happen to me. So instead of doing the smart thing and getting plan B, I shrugged it off to the low probability that it would turn into what it did. A foolish decision as I had only known the girl 3 months.

It was quickly apparent to me that this girl and I would not work out long term. This despite the fact she had many desirable traits to those on this sub such as low n count, desire to be a good mother, desire to be a traditional wife (though, you can never truly trust a woman who will do anything to keep you around). Those qualities aren't as important to me personally. My idea of a future wife revolves around the idea of a best friend for life, and she simply does not share enough of my interests and frankly, she was much more mature than I am, I had yet to grow out of my drinking/partying despite being in my early 30's.

A lot of what you said is noble in a sense as you seem to have embraced your role in what happened to you. I do think it is admirable, but also believe the only thing worse than making a mistake by getting some woman knocked up is to then compound that mistake by marrying her out of the desire to do the right thing. While I believe everyone has an obligation to take responsibility for their mistakes, you should not sacrifice your own happiness just to "do the right thing." For me, I still do not yet know what my final role in this child life will be. It may be strictly financial, it may be being there every day. I know though that, at minimum, I will be there for the kid financially (and beyond the minimal obligation of child support).

You recommend getting a lawyer if shit hits the fan. I recommend getting a lawyer no matter what. Child support laws are notoriously one sided, and you do not want to be at the mercy of the courts. For instance, my girl was appalled that I wanted to file for child support. She tried to stop me. She told me that she would never try and do something like that, even if I left her. But when push comes to shove, it would be financially irresponsible of her to do such a thing. Second, certain states allow women to retroactively change their mind. Some states allow women several years to file for child support and then collect money retroactively. Can you afford for one day for a huge child support payment to come out of the blue that you must pay or go to jail? No, you need lawyer no matter what so you can discuss all your options. My advice is to get it out of the courts hands entirely. See a lawyer and arrange for a mediation to get an airtight agreement to keep it out of the courts and being dragged their repeatedly if your woman ever becomes vindictive. If you make the decision to be very active in your child's life, this becomes even more critical.

I heartily echo the paternity test, and this is the first advice every single lawyer will give you.

I also heartily echo saving money immediately. If you decide to ghost completely, you will still need to adapt at minimum to a life of having about 20% of your paycheck going to child support so may as well start early.

One of the most important things once you know the girl is pregnant is to completely focus on the child's well being. If the girl is pregnant and committed to having the child, your #1 priority is to protect the health of the future infant. The only thing worse than having an unwanted child is an unwanted child with medical problems. The financial drain alone is enough to be a source of serious conflict and resentment. That means you do what you can to keep your woman from smoking, drinking, drugs, avoidance of certain foods, ensuring she goes to all of her pre-partum check-ups and identifying any other high risk behaviors that may adversely effect the infant. The infants health is your #1 priority.

As far as growing up, as I briefly mentioned earlier: while you must grow up to a certain degree, you cannot sacrifice your own happiness. We are all on this earth but a brief time and while the noble thing to do may seem to be the best parent you can be, you cannot sacrifice all your dreams and goals in the process or you will be miserable. You absolutely need to take responsibility for your actions, but what that amounts to may vary from person to person. At a minimum it should be meeting financial obligations. You think the child will resent you if you aren't there? I know for a fact that usually isn't the case. Every person I have met who never knew their father, has actively sought them out when they get older. The majority of those fathers never replied. But, the point remains that if you want, their will come an age where your child will come to find you and if you want, you can work to establish a relationship then. It may even be easier with the child no longer entirely dependent on the mother. The major risk you take in this scenario is that your child will have grown up without your influence through many formative years, and you may not like what you find. But this is a complicated situation, and you must weigh all risks carefully.

The main point I'm making is that there are always options. You chose the option of "doing the right thing" and more power to you for that. But one should always consider every option available before coming to a decision.

Frankly, I think you are fortunate that your girl dumped you. You received complete freedom at that moment to play as active a role - or absent - in the child's life at that moment as you wanted. It was her decision and it would be difficult for her to ever resent you for it, allowing true co-existence.

One final thought. Never in my life have I been depressed, but during this time I had a serious case of buyers remorse. I had many flashbacks to girls I had carelessly thrown aside in the past and how, on reflection, perhaps I shouldn't have. A lot of the things I had taken for granted before were taken away from me at that moment because there is now a finality to everything. While it didn't interfere with my daily functions too much, I would be lying if I said it didn't have any impact at all on my sleep habits and ability to concentrate.

In summary:

1) Don't be overly drawn to "doing what is right." Like most things red pill, you need to balance your responsibility with the pursuit of your own happiness. 2) Get a lawyer, you need to consider and discuss every possible option. You need to know all aspects of child support law in your state and what your rights will be as a father because you need to protect yourself and your child 3) DNA test certainly, this is a no brainer 4) Commit to the future infants health, an infant with health issues will not only become a financial nightmare, but likely put too great a stress on an already fragile relationship and break it entirely

Good luck to all out there, hopefully none of you ever find yourself in this situation.

[–]gaspaonrocks 10 points11 points  (12 children)

I can relate to everything said here.

I got my ex (at the time) pregnant while my life wasn't really on tracks. I was always afraid to become a father given my past history, but I changed so much since my baby was on the way...

  • I got a full time (shitty) job
  • It let me join a program to rent a much better place
  • I got my driving licence, mind you it cost around 1500€ - 1800$ to just be able to take the test...
  • I looked for and joined a coding boot camp that went extremely well
  • I got a full time job as a web dev with double the salary

I did so much my long time friends don't recognize me.

And the weird part is I'm really happy when I'm with my daughter. I saw a post about how people either become shitty people like their parents or the exact opposite. I proudly think I'm the latter.

It's always about finding your mission, and for some, it is to become a father and raise good kids.

Of course, I had my 'crazy wife wanting to tear appart the family' moments, but it's all good now. I even talked to a lawyer, it's funny to see it mentionned here.

Anyway, great post ! Thanks for the share and good luck.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 7 points8 points  (6 children)

"the manipulated man"

Now I wonder how it would have been if you were your reason to get your shit together.

[–]gaspaonrocks 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Sometimes I wonder too, but in nearly 30 years i couldn't do it by myself.

I guess having been able to do it is still a win, whatever the reason...

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Just be careful. Those guys who divorce and get zerod out (rollos article) suicide when they lose their women star with exactly this mindset

[–]gaspaonrocks 0 points1 point  (3 children)

When you say women star, are you talking about the mother of my child ? Cause I definitely won't let myself go if she wants to walk out.

All I do is enjoy my time as a father.

My partner knows she's walking on thin ice with me, and the moment she makes a shitty move, I'll go all out on her with everything I got. And I'll keep my daughter.

But she won't, because she loves me.. and you know, for our daughter...

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 6 points7 points  (2 children)

A lot of guys treat their family as their raison d'etre. Then when the mom decides he's not relevant anymore, he finds out just how disposable he is. You're may be special, but they are all special, until they aren't.

A LOT of guys have a real hard time coming to terms with that. In fact, I'd say thats a big driver of redpilling men. Like you 'it's just my turn' is a mantra I keep in the back of my head

[–]gaspaonrocks 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I hear what you say, but I said that my child is my raison d'être, or maybe I wasn't clear.

I have a friend who's in a similar situation but he's MUCH more into the whole ideal family concept, hoping to be happy with the mother of his boy in a not so distant future.

I am well aware that my partner can screw me over at any given moment. I'm well prepared in case that happens.

Also, you're absolutely right, it might be just my turn, but frankly I don't care. However my daughter will only ever have one father (or mother for that matter), so I try and be there for her.

That should be a part in the article : invest time for your child, pick him/her up at daycare, give him/her bath, play with him/her.

If everyone knows you're present for your child, your future ex wife will have a harder time trying to prove you're disposable for him/her, whatever she might think of you.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd have to search, but TRP and MRP both have great posts on this subject. The idea was acting as if you were a widowed dad. One took the angle of how courts look at you like a primary caregiver (e.g. get to have custody of your kids and watch them grow up) and the other was from an angle of mitigating a shitty baby momma.

They are both great reads, and I suspect you may have extras to add onto them. If I get lucky I can find them and post them. If you do, please link them both for me.

The TRP one was titled something like "Being a single dad is easy!"

And the MRP one was "Ensuring favouable custody of your children"

There's a third one on divorce negotiations of custody, quality vs quantity of time... that was u /red-curious and easy enough to see, but outside the scope of this conversation

[–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How did you get her pregnant? Recklessness? She skipped a pill? Went yolo?

[–]gaspaonrocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah ! She wasn't on the pill but we were careful most of the times. It was an 'angry sex' moment, so I guess recklessness and yolo.

To think that just that one time could change your life forever...

Be careful and keep cool, in any circumstances.

[–]KawaiiHero 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Just curious what coding boot camp did you go to? I’m considering potentially attending one to get a job in web dev one day. Also, how hard was it getting a job after? Did you have any coding experience beforehand?

[–]gaspaonrocks 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I didn't have any background prior to joining it. Also it's in France, so I don't know if it's relevant to you. If it is I'll PM the details.

Getting an internship then a job afterwards was not that hard. You have to show you're willing to learn and improve, play it humble but ready to work hard. Also know your basics.

[–]KawaiiHero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha, thanks for the reply! The name of coding bootcamp you attended won’t be as relevant, since I’m in the US, so it’s fine. But thanks for the advice :) Will definitely consider attending a coding boot camp.

[–]stylesm11 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wrap up like your life depends on it, no matter how attractive

[–]sirZofSwagger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Step 1, get snipped.... step 2 profit

[–]AllahHatesFags 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Spoken like a true beta bux. Only people who see themselves as disposable put some bitch and her kid (and make no mistake, it will be HER kid even if it's also biologically yours) ahead of themselves. Fuck that. I am not disposable, I am essential. Everyone else is disposable unless it's my offspring I have sole custody over, and even then I don't want kids anyway. If I got some bitch pregnant, either the fetus would disappear or I would.

[–]its4lorn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If I got some bitch pregnant, either the fetus would disappear or I would.

I badly needed to hear someone say this, i can now leave this thread in peace.

[–]DapperTd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Over winter break I didn't wrap and it was the worst experience of my life for about a month and a half. It was the beginning of a relationship as well as the end, and it definitely pushed me into redpill full effect. She faked a pregnancy while I was in another state for a family trip and I was a wreck. When I got home and thought everything out I saw she was lying and called bullshit. She freaked out on me and I left. WRAP IT UP

[–]Retstortion 1 points1 points [recovered]

My ex is pregnant, cheated on me and left me even when I begged and begged. Child may not be mine. she’s due in June.

Wtf do I do

[–]TriggeringEveryone 2 points3 points  (14 children)

Putative fathers registry, then lawyer.

[–]Retstortion 1 points1 points [recovered]

I don’t want any involvement

[–]TVEMisty 6 points7 points  (12 children)

If the child is yours, you don't get a choice unless she finds someone to adopt. You can't just give up your rights. At any point, if it's yours, she can claim child support and you'll pay. The minute she tries to get any benefits from the government, they will come after you as they won't foot the bill if there is another parent. The state sees the financial responsibility of the child of those that made the child, regardless of the amount of involvement you may or may not want or have.

[–]Retstortion 1 points1 points [recovered]

She makes a lot of money and told me if I ever contact her again(after she dumped me and I met someone else) that she’d call the police. So my next move seems to be ghost permanently

[–]improvising1 6 points7 points  (1 child)


Even if you think you won't need it make sure you've got it clearly in writing - emails, SMS, formal documentation, just something.

Archive locally and in reliable cloud storage and forget.

[–]TVEMisty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Courts won't care. She may be able to open for child support going forward or she could very well claim arrears as well. Money provided to her should be well documented with checks stating what it is for. In some cases, but not all they may accept that...in others they will call it a gift.

IANAL, but I'd suggest speaking with a family law attorney about what repercussions you may face.

[–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I think you should make a separate post. I’d be interested in the responses.

[–]Retstortion 1 points1 points [recovered]

Idk what anyone else could say.

She cheated on me before pregnant. I dumped her, she tells me she’s 3 months Pregnant after, I then try to make it work. She leaves me and refuses to cooperate outside of casual sex.

I’ve been useless to her

[–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (3 children)

How did it happen? Did she miss her pill? Did the condom break? Or did you just shoot it in her in the moment?

[–]Retstortion 1 points1 points [recovered]

She’s 39, I’m 26. Happened during normal sex but she was also cheating the entire relationship

[–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So no pull out, just straight finish inside? Was it a case that you felt you did everything correctly (ex: pulling out) only to be surprised with pregnancy? Or did you have a feeling of when it happened (‘it was probably that moment’)?

[–]Caesar_Vercingetorix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Record all communication with her. Talk to a lawyer about how to pay the least child support you can. I would also move to another state or country.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I got my ex pregnant about a year back. Was before I discovered TRP and she was on birth control so I was raw dogging literally every time.

When we started having sex without a condom we talked about this scenario and she said she would have an abortion at this stage in her life.

Luckily about 3 weeks after she told me she was pregnant she ended up getting one. Was the most stressful period of my life.

But never ever ever ever ever pressure her into having an abortion. That is giving her an insane amount of ammunition to use against you in the community, in court, and with your future child if she ends up having it.

[–]H42 1 points1 points [recovered]

Google: Tom Lykis, Hail Mary.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is essentially what I did. Just explained to her why we talked about this situation and how we are both too young to have kids. I didn’t dump her immediately after but probably a month or two later.

I knew the relationship was over as soon as she said she was pregnant. Because firstly I was not trying to marry this girl, and secondly if she aborted it I knew she would twist the past to make it out like I was pressuring her when I was completely supportive. I just reminded her about our conversation about it months prior and suddenly I was a bad guy because of that. That’s when I pulled the ejector seat on the relationship lol.

[–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Raw dogging only? Or did you also shoot it in her.

[–]xavine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You've commented on about 10 different comments on this single post asking dudes if they're shooting their cum inside their partner lol. Looks like someone found their fetish

[–]hodltaco 3 points4 points  (3 children)

A cautionary tale to the casual reader. Three rules to live by:


Don’t stick your dick into anywhere without a condom. Further, do not throw your used condoms in the bathroom trash-take your used condoms out with you. Do not trust women when they say they cannot get pregnant. Do no trust women to protect your best interest. Women have shown time and time again to do whatever the hell they want so protect yourself. Protect yourself from STD’s and protect yourself from having babies with strangers and having to pay child support for 18 years and a lifetime of being connected through your child. It ain’t worth it.

[–]geturcraptogether 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I usually wrap em in toilet paper and watch em flush

[–]hodltaco 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That can hella back up the plumbing.

[–]geturcraptogether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ain't my problem cause it's usually at a hotel 😉. My crib? Then no flushie.

[–]leavingsoonbacklater 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Whenever I hear about stories like this, I am thankful I live in Canada. You may think the desire to keep a baby is genetic, but having lived in the US and Canada for equal parts of my life, it's definitely cultural.

Religion is much less important to Canadians. Abortion is not only free and easy to access, but seen as being completely stigma-free and even desirable. Consciously childfree attitudes pervade here, and most girls in their 20s would not even consider keeping an unplanned pregnancy.

There is also no real legal limit as to when you can get an abortion in Canada, so if you fail to convince her at 4 weeks, you might convince her at 20 weeks during an emotional downswing.

[–]1trpposter 5 points6 points  (2 children)

If you spend money on things non-essential to you, your child, or your child's mother, STOP NOW. Your child's mother is counting on you to support her not only emotionally but financially and morally. Start putting away money (20-30% of each paycheck) now into a savings account ONLY to be used for your child.

WTF is this shit? This is terrible advice. To anyone reading this, if you find yourself in this situation, here is a much better guide by Thotwrecker that can get you out of it completely:


[–]Pinnacle_Pickle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This was given under the pretense that you actually want to be a father to your child.

[–]iLoveReddit32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice man, this is a good post. But I gotta ask: who didn't you just get an abortion? That would make your life a lot easier.

[–]RedPill_Swinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I respect OP's points and I admire him, I even agree with being a good father but I have a personal threshold. If she leaves me while pregnant I would simply be a deadbeat father, society is too rigged and it is too much for me to handle.

Men are expected to perform, women aren't expected to be good mothers, not even decent people! And the best answer to that is fuck you, you're on your own or... If you need support, don't break up and laugh about me along with your bitch friends. Just pick up one.

[–]loktaiextatus 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I don't feel super qualified to give advice since my situation didn't become ideal til much later in life but let me give my story in brief.

In the 90s when the net was young I met an older more established girl (I was underage) and a couple years later when I was 19 she had my baby. Our relationship was rocky to start but her mother was obsessed having not raised her own daughter well with this "second chance " and so I was pushed out. Now being grown my daughter knows why I wasn't always present and isn't mad, I always managed to make sure she knew who her father was. I learned a big lesson from all this about consequences and about human nature.

Plenty of girls later I met one I felt strongly enough about to marry and after a few years of marriage (once bitten twice shy, guys) we had two children in two years.

Kids are tough and kids are adaptable but seriously not that I'm going to be the one to tell anyone for the first time but the entire experience of having kids with a life partner and with some chick with her own shit going on is night and day and I became a full on dad, all the dad instincts fell into place.

None of us are going to keep it in our pants clearly we are animals and we go insane if we can't unload that's just the nature of the highly stimulating world and society we are in..... but don't let kids be a bad stigma.

If men knew, all men, what fathers who have kids living with them knew, they would be hunting down girls with that goal the way women do...... ok we do but it's all instinct and looking for wide hips and nice mammary glands, amirite?

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not be a deadbeat father and run off like a little bitch

Nice shaming tactics there.

Also, OP you are making a kid too much of a big deal. You had a kid? Great. You shouldn't care beyond the legal ramifications. If you can, disappear.

[–]LeftHello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Step 1: Blow my god damn brains out

[–]sd4c 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All this talk about fatherhood being an "amazing life experience", then the first link at the end is Planned Parenthood?!

[–]TheRealEtherion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm so grateful to have stumbled upon this post. Thanks a ton bro.

[–]hentaiprincesss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Buy tickets to Mexico or hope she aborts it tbqh. Women today see kids as a paycheck and that's the simplest way to put it. You have a kid with a girl and she leaves you? You're a dead beat piece of shit to the world. Don't let her say she'll put it up for adoption, once she has it her mind will change and so will your bank account.

[–]chomponthebit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful story, and thanks for sharing. Everyone upvote this please!

[–]xulyx 1 point2 points  (2 children)

My ex and i had a shit fight which got us both locked up and with stay away orders from court. During that time she found out she was pregnant. I was happy knowing that previous to said fight, i had blown a load in her. Thats my baby. During one of the doctor visits, the doc said she was pregnant for some time which didnt add up to the day i came inside her. I was furious, and blinded by my fury, i denied the baby. I took back what i said right away but the damage was done. She was destroyed and exercised the stay away orders given by court. (We kept communicating after the order was set cause we didnt give a fuck and mainly because of she found out she was pregnant). I barely got to see her during the 9 months. Only a handful of times after begging to see her. I wanted to be there with her to help her but the pain of me denying was strong and fresh. She was hesitant and her family was totally against me being around. All of this led me down a spiral of bullshitting around, getting fucked up more than usual. I was destroyed but that mix up of timing justified my abscence in my head. I wanted to be there vut i didnt know if i was being there for MY baby. I was confused. Just fucked up in the head. The baby was born. I wasnt there for that. I wasnt allowed anywhere near her family home. Nobody wants me around? Fuck it then. Continued down that shit spiral. I didnt bother w a paternity test until later on when i came to senses and looked for her again. I finally met the baby at 4 months. I started taking care of what i needed to take care of for the paternity. But i continued to fuck around. I didnt save any money. I kept getting high. I was there but not really. She confessed she fucked around w someone while she was pregnant and she continued aftr she gave birth. During the time i wasnt there. That shit fu ked it all up for me. I had this splinter i couldnt get rid of. I tried to stick it out justifying her actions w my lack of responsibility. But that didnt work. Its been a shit storm ever since. We found out i was the father. I only got to hold my daughter 5 times during all that time. She confessed she cheated on me because of my lack of responsibilty. That was the bottom line for me. I couldnt bear that anymore. Im currently in custody/visitation battle w her. I love my daughter and i loved her too. But i can only be there for my daughter now. As much as i want the whole good life of having father mother together for baby, i cant let go of the shit she did. I hope this opens eyes to other guys here in some sort of same situation. I let my emotions get rhe best of me and lacked where i needed to work on the most. Dont be me. Be there thru it all. Thanks for reading.

[–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wow. Did you end up paying child support? Can the court can give a stay-away order, and also ask you for your money?

[–]xulyx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well im in the middle of getting all of that settled. Im assuming they can because the order allows for me to come in contact because of the baby. Regardless i would pay up whether the court asks me or not. Thats my baby girl.

[–]skillsmcgee1 1 points1 points [recovered]

I didn't read the post and immediately scrolled down to read replies but caught a glimpse of the end of the post. I only read "Resources: Suicide Hotline". I lold.

[–]FMIBMW[S] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

It's not funny.

Many fathers out there commit suicide because of such shitty situations let alone not being able to see their children.

[–]Shaney96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck. This just made me recall when I was in an LTR and she had a 'heavy period' and I realized she had been pregnant for a month or so...

Only after reading through some of the comments here do I realize how fucking lucky I was and the sheer magnitude of how that could have otherwise affected my life... Christ...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get a paternity test if you have absolutely no doing it's your kid

[–]OscarPitchfork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

KNOW WHO YOU ARE FUCKING! "did not find out she wanted to get pregnant until her first OB appointment". Yeah, really? That's the mark of someone who fucks, but doesn't talk real good.

[–]Jrobalmighty 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I waited it out until after he was born and took custody.

I wrote down everything she ever did wrong that I could hold against her (not because she was a bad person but bc I needed full control and authority to take care of this child if he was going to be protected.)

Courts don't defer to the mother for custody as much as they used to in the past.

I started having issues when my son would go to her house on the weekends with her being aggressive and he would pee on himself in public with her.

She wasn't paying child support and I told her I didn't want anything from her but to leave him alone until he was older. It was causing a lot of issues for him.

I never spoke a bad word about his mother. I told him good stories about her and her family and what I knew about their ethnic background. I knew one day he'd be old enough and trained in critical thought to decide for himself why I acted in the way I did.

If you want to do this thing right don't argue, don't give the mother any reason to worry or be concerned. Be smart and patient. When the time comes you swoop in with a great legal strategy and fortify your parental rights.

We have too many absentee fathers. Be a man and take care of your kids, especially young boys who are in the worst time of human history to be born male.

I didn't say to mistreat, impugn, or lie but to forcefully and strategically protect what is yours.

[–]Walkebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say do not pre-birth provision for a slut that you randomly knock up. The chances of being cucked are likely greater than the possibility of a birth defect if you don't "man up" for the pregnant thot.

[–]EmperorofEarf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can agree with this but I married the mom and while we didn’t work out, I made sure she wasn’t the crazy crazy type of woman first. My daughter is as beautiful as her mom, I make hella bank and do pretty well for myself I feel. Got lucky I suppose. Don’t stick your dick in crazy, and definitely only procreate with a truly worthwhile and respectable woman.

I loved my wife and thank god she didn’t want anything from the divorce other than to be happy and not tied down anymore. I was okay with that. I pay less in child support than I did funding my stay at home wife and baby. I would have preferred to have a family, but this isn’t a bad second life I have.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u should talk to an attorney even if shit doesn't hit the fan

[–]Thunderfin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a mix a joy, fear, despair, happiness

How could you even be happy to be a dad at 21? Basically lost a lot of your childhood, and your college years and future life are affected negatively.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone saying "hope she gets an abortion" failed to notice that the kid was already born in January.

Also, my husband watched me get cut open for our daughter last week and thought I was dying when they were elbow-deep inside me even though I was talking to the anesthetist 😂😂😂 he goes "I had no idea the placenta was so huge" lol

[–]kittyclaw200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was fucking a girl in HS without condoms because she was on the pill. A week after I broke up with her she called up and said she was pregnant.(she was lying). Never been so scared in my life but she did me a big favor with that scare. Always wrap it up every single time.

[–]Ghyslain333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She needs your masculine frame & support to make her feel safe and loved as she progresses along in pregnancy. You have no idea how much your child can be impacted inside the womb with neglect, stress, and not giving a shit. Once you start feeling your baby kicking and see it on ultrasound it will make you realize how much you need to be there.

Man that made me cry. Thanks for your insightful post.


[–]Caesar_Vercingetorix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn. I was expecting some information on how to resist being forced into fatherhood. Instead, I basically got "lean into it".

I really need to get that fucking vasectomy.

[–]henrysmyagent 0 points1 point  (0 children)


You're On Your Own!

Bye Felicia!

[–]yomo86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was very sound advice some months ago here on TRP regarding her shitfest when you want a DNA test performed. The bottom line, I still think it is so very elegant, it layed so straight before me as a lawyer, tell her the official test is necessary for CS and her becoming part your extended family in case of your death. Which is even somewhat true so not legally objectionable due to duress. Play her provisining programming against her.

[–]bobaisdope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for writing this out, I do appreciate it. For those smashing pussies out there, please wrap your shit up, or make your PLATES/FWBs/ONSs take the pills under your supervision. In my opinions, having kids with someone you hate is the worst experience in your life, don't fuck your life up, fellas.

[–]notonlyplace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This women is carrying your child and sacrificing her body to eventually deliver your baby. She will be bitchy, hormonal, irrational, sick, tired, hungry, in pain, sore, and so much more

That isn't a excuse for bitchy behavior, as men we have 10x testosterone than women, do we get a hormonal excuse? No matter how mad she gets do not take a inch of abuse.

Yup you heard it. Even if you are together or not - you have no rights what your child's mother does

Thus no responsibility...

have loser friends with no goals,

This is a method use to control man, hey, leave your friends, stop masturbating and playing video games , friends with no goals are fine, I have friends because I enjoy being with them, honestly this post is go along to get along, it's all about her, and if you let her treat you like a piece of shit, you may get to see your child.

I should of stop reading as soon as I saw she will be hormonal, she doesn't get one bad comment, one line of abuse, one unwanted touch, once her voice raises at that point it's domestic violence.

All you need to do is be there for her as she gets closer to delivery. You will see your child's mother in severe pain, agony, and possibly the risk of death.

Not relevant, why are we trying to garner sympathy , we all go though shit,

This is the time your frame needs to be harder than diamonds because your child's mother is going to transform into a person you never could imagine. Her maternal instinct and hormones are full pedal to the metal starting 2-4 weeks into the first trimester and months after birth.

Stop justifying abuse, we see field report after field report of men getting abused, and yet we call them pussies, if your being abused, don't have a strong frame, get a video camera and report it, In blue pill society we justify abuse with hormones.

Honestly your frame is weak , you say it's strong because you take abuse , I got a girl pregnant she broke down, with a good frame you can talk her into abortion, a few pills took care of that. I never used a condom, but always was able to talk her into abortion,

this women is on the top of your priorities

No, she only if she earns, honestly the courts aren't that bad, they aren't that good but joint custody is very achievable, and you don't need to simp around about how great she is, and how much abuse you must take.

do not subject yourself to a circus

Don't subject yourself to a circus for any reason, even if the child is yours and she has depression, do not take abuse, you owe her nothing, unless she owes you something.

[–]Im_A_NIC_Noob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You, good sir, are a hero, and I’m glad you took the time to compile this guide. It’s amazing how fucked we can be when it comes to childbearing and childbirth, so as a fellow man I would like to just thank you.

[–]Viernas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol dude u got fucked, sorry bro.

[–]drkinferno72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have to have sex to get pregnant

[–]WholesomeAwesome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a shitty way to start a family.

I would evade. Many ways to do that.

[–]econquest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why doesn't TRP recommend vasectomies? Also they're reversible aren't they in case you do want a child later?

[–]pinkstar23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not what you do. you tell her that you are leaving her unless she gets an abortion. if she doesn't, drop her and don't take her calls/anything. try moving to another country as well.

[–]WeatherFuturesTrader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not going to happen, I had a vasectomy.

[–]throwitdownman -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have to ask and I want a direct yes/no answer, because people always dodge.

When you found out she was pregnant, you two did unsafe sex. Did you always pull out? What I’m asking is - is she pregnant because you were sometimes shooting it inside? Or was it straight random and you have 0 idea how it happened.

Like as a guy, you know when you shoot. Was it one shot inside, then a pull out?

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