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Red Pill TheoryThe Five Stages of Learning The Game: Part 1, The Over-Analyzer (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1Socialinception

When I turned the last page, my reality had been shattered. Everything I thought I knew about women and sex had been thoroughly disproven by this revolutionary book.

 

My mind was racing with possibilities. I spent the next year of my life researching “game”. I read articles, watched Youtube videos, and even bought expensive products. I had come across a goldmine of knowledge, and by using it, I would be able to attract women like I never thought possible.

 

Of course, in that year of research I didn’t approach a single girl. I was still learning, I needed to have a sound intellectual understanding of seduction before I actually practiced it: or so I thought.

 

I had fallen for a common trap. I read The Game, and I was inspired to change my life . . . but I was terrified of the idea of cold approaching women. So, I spent a year mentally masturbating by consuming an endless sea of content.

 

I spent an entire year stuck in the first of the five stages of learning game. If I had known what I was doing is a common mistake that can only lead to frustration, I would have sucked it up and started to meet women in real life much earlier. I would have taken an entire year off my learning curve for game.

 

The purpose of this series is to help you avoid making the costliest mistakes I’ve made. In it, I’m providing you with a framework – the five stages – so you can understand where you are in your journey, what roadblocks you’re most likely to face, and how you can overcome those obstacles.

 

I’ve broken down learning game into five major stages. Identify which of the five stages you are currently in and use the information in this article to “level up” and drastically improve your dating life.

 

Stage 1: The Over-analyzer

 

“A really intelligent man feels what other men only know.” – Baron de Montesquieu

 

Knowledge is power . . . right? The over-analyzer has an overwhelming desire to understand the ins and outs of game: what to say to a girl, how to know if a girl is interested, etc. He thinks of attracting women as a Rubik’s Cube to be solved using algorithmic, logical thinking.

 

The over analyzer learns about how to attract women, but he spends little time interacting with them in the real world. He thinks that if he were to approach a woman or ask his crush on a date, it would most likely lead to humiliating rejection.

 

In a sense, he’s right. It’s true that if he were to approach a woman it would most likely lead to an awkward rejection. But he’s wrong in thinking that if he learns game online he can avoid awkward rejection and skip right to the good stuff.

 

At least 50% of the seduction community is perpetually stuck in the Over-analyzer stage. It’s not because these men are weak, it’s because they are too smart for their own good.

 

The over-analyzer thinks consuming online content is a shortcut to success. He replaces learning through approaching women and dealing with countless rejections with learning through osmosis by watching videos and buying products like RSD Max’s Becoming the Natural.

 

On the surface, this is a brilliant strategy. But it’s based on the fallacy that intellectual understanding is strongly correlated with practical understanding.

 

Truthfully, intellectual understanding and practical understanding are two completely different animals, having one mastered has almost nothing to do with mastering the other.

 

In fact, if you spent 100 hours learning game online, but didn’t approach any women, your game not only wouldn’t improve, but it would get worse.

 

If you were to try approaching a woman after all that learning, you would experience information overload. You would have so much to think about that you’d spend your entire interactions with women in your head – you’d be unable to connect with them.

 

Content only has two important uses:

-To orient your mindset towards action-taking -To help you take the best lessons from your in-field experience.

The purpose of this article is the first, it’s designed to dissolve excuses and make it clear that action-taking is the only real option.

 

The purpose of articles like, “How to arouse a girl,” (https://redpilltheory.com/2018/02/27/arouse-girl-youre-even-bedroom/) are to help you overcome sticking points. If your sticking point is approach anxiety, there’s an article for that, if your sticking point is creating attraction, there’s an article for that, etc.

 

But those articles are only helpful if you’re going out, meeting women, and finding out what your weaknesses are. Then, you can use that content to help you overcome those weak points in your game.

 

But if you read an article or watch a video that explains how to reach the sexual hook point, but you haven’t met a new woman in the last month, you’re doing it wrong.

 

Now, you might be thinking, “That’s true for a lot of people, but I have a genuine reason not to take action (I need to focus on college/ I live in a small town of only 100,000/I’m overweight and need to lose the extra pounds first, etc. etc.)

 

There are no exceptions, as soon as you tell yourself that in your situation, you don’t need to take action – you’ve shot yourself in the foot.

 

How to Get Out of the Over-Analyzer Phase

 

“Life beings at the end of your comfort-zone” – Neale Donald Walsch

 

We over-analyze because we want a better dating life, but we don’t want to experience the negative emotions that come with approaching women.

 

Getting out of the over-analyzer phase starts with accepting that there is no way to succeed with women without experiencing negative emotions.

 

No product, no video, no piece of content will be able to help you get the results you want without going through emotional turmoil, period.

 

In fact, trying to avoid negative emotions is the root of the problem. The human brain is designed to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Because of that, we constantly search for ways to avoid pain.

 

This is why the most effective marketing campaigns are based on making something seem easy, advertisements that promise you can:

-Get abs in just 7 minutes a day

-Make 6 figures in less than 6 months with no risk

-Get a perfect ten girlfriend tonight (without risking rejection)

 

Advertisements like the above are so common because they prey on the human brain’s desire to avoid pain.

 

How do you outsmart this universal human bias for pain-avoidance?

 

Ironically, the solution rests in intellectual understanding.

 

Once you know that the promise of six-minute abs is nothing but a marketing ploy, you won’t be fooled by it.

 

Similarly, once you understand that you can’t get good with girls simply by consuming content, you won’t fall into the over-analyzer trap.

 

As soon as you truly accept that you can only get better with women by putting yourself out there and experiencing rejection, you’ll stop procrastinating and start taking action.

 

Once you’ve accepted the fact that facing rejection is the only way to get success, the next step is to create a plan of action.

 

Most over-analyzers have a lot of approach anxiety (I certainly did), the first step is to start going out regularly. For this to work, you need to make it a habit.

 

Decide how many times a week you think you need to go out to meet women. For me, it’s 3 times a week. That’s enough to make progress but it’s not so much that I’ll burn out.

 

Make sure to keep track of your progress. I keep track of my goal to go out 3 times a week using Google calendar. You can also do this with an app or even a simple word document (the advantage to an app is that it can give you notification reminders).

 

Based on the results you’re getting, you may increase or decrease your weekly goal, but it’s extremely valuable to set a baseline for how often you want to go out.

 

If you don’t have a goal, it’s much easier to rationalize and procrastinate. I.E. “I’ll go out next week,” or “I’m not feeling today.”

 

Try this right now. Either:

– Go to Google calendar and set up a goal to go out x times per week.

– Use Microsoft Word to create a journal to keep track of your goal (set it up however works best for you)

-Download a goal tracking app and set up a repeating notification on it. Here’s a couple apps that can do this: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.rstudioz.habits

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.isoron.uhabits

(there are similar apps on iOS)

 

Setting a goal like this makes your commitment real. It’s no longer something you’re thinking about doing, it’s something you’ve decided to do. This gives you a lot more leverage to take action.

 

Once you’ve made a habit going out using this system, you can add on to it. For example, you can make a goal to ask a girl for her number every time you go out.

 

But take it one step at a time. If you don’t regularly approach women, setting a goal to go out is already a big step. Discipline is the key to make a real change here.

 

You may not even approach a woman the first time you go out. That’s okay, if you’ve spent your whole life without approaching a girl, it may take some time to overcome your initial approach anxiety. Just keep going out and eventually your frustration with the fact that you haven’t approached will make you tell yourself, “Fuck it,” and you’ll overcome the anxiety.

 

This might happen on the first day, it might take 3 weeks, it’s different for everyone. Don’t give up just because the first time you go out you get a lot of anxiety or don’t make much progress. Trust that if you keep putting yourself out there, you’ll start taking action and making a change.

 

Do this, and you will get out of the first of the five stages of game. The next stage, “The awkward newb” is both a lot of fun and extremely frustrating. We’ll dive into what the second stage is, and how to get out of it, in the next article.


[–][deleted] 124 points125 points  (7 children)

Sex is a lagging indicator of success.

We all have goals. I want to join the 1200 club. I want to have 20 million in the bank before I retire. I want to get first tracks in a deep thick bluebird powder day.

As men we ALL WANT TO FUCK.

Our shared goal. Why you're here.

So jump in, identify some goals that will help propel you toward that universal goal. Get game, get fit, get confident, get a life. Read 500 hours of trp theory.

All easily attainable, easily digestible nuggets.

But if your goal is to get fucked, and you're not reaching that goal despite putting in all this work, what the fuck do you think you're doing? You're just avoiding the real work and stroking your own cock ego. Self improvement is mental masturbation. Don't try to earn trophies for the trophies. What the trophies are given out for is the achievement.

You have to go try get pussy if getting pussy is your goal.

Really don't know how to write it any plainer.

Flip it. If you are getting laid, your strategies are working. Keep it up. If not, then your strategies are not successful and you need to reevaluate.

Successful men fuck.

TRP is a toolbox. But you have to craft a plan to build something, and have the balls to pick up the damn hammer and start swinging. You might crush a thumb, but nothing changes without action. Get building.

[–]michaelmindset 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again, Pussy shouldn’t be the goal. If pussy is your you automatically put it on a pedestal and you’re coming from a place of inferiority. Pussy like you say it the side dish to your main entree of achievement. My goals right now are all related to financial success and health.

In the past I had made pussy my goal and being a mediocre guy I got below average pussy. Focus on becoming a top notch dude, build it and they will come. I’m not saying girls are going to jump on your dick because you started lifting, but your confidence and self esteem go through the roof when you have goals that you’re going after, ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS NOT PUSSY. This confidence translates into frame and you get the glorious pussy...you feel me dawg

[–]fking_innit 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I enjoyed reading both your post and OP's. But I have a question: what if the crushed thumb is a social one? Last night I didn't have balls to ask a girl who was being heavily guarded by her best friend in our group. Also was afraid of making things awkward for the rest of the night if she wasn't even close to any kind of interest.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

This is a good ask trp question.

Basic trp topics to check out include...

"Assume attraction"

"DNGAF"

"dealing with cockblocking mother hens"

"Outcome independence"

"polarize, ISOLATE, escalate, logistics, make fucksex"

"abundance mentality"

It's all on the sidebar, and your post is too vague to give specific advice.

[–]fking_innit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, cockblocking mother hens is a great description. She was glued to her the whole night, even more than her own boyfriend.

[–]matrixtospartanatLV 0 points1 point  (2 children)

“Self improvement is mental masturbation.”

I’m divorcing my cheating wife.

I’m about to inherit a fuck-ton of money.

I’m in a massive, monk-mode, self improvement phase of 8-12 months.

Would you explain the masturbation part to me?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

it's nuanced, but doing something because you feel validation for doing something without and end goal in mind as the reason you're doing that something is by definition jerking yourself off.

Work smarter, not harder.

Embrace the suck does not mean go looking for it.

Set a goal. Make a plan to attain that goal.

Don't accept pain and hardship just for the self-indulgent reason of enduring pain and hardship.

AKA Nofap, semen retention and cold showers are stupid.

Go do something tough. Start a new hobby. Challenge yourself with something that pushes you forward to your goals. That's where your discipline and comfort zone need to be.

Don't just do something because it's uncomfortable, do something uncomfortable because it serves you.

If I told you to go lie in an ice bath every day because it "builds character" and gets you out of your "comfort zone", doesn't that sound like something a crazy person would do? Why is that different than taking a cold shower when you don't have to? You want first tracks on the glacier? Go camping overnight in the snow on the mountaintop ...you have to be uncomfortable and deal with cold to reach your goal. That is where toughness through hardship originates.

Taking a 4 minute cold shower and thinking it builds toughness is LARPing through life. If the goals you are proud of are not jacking off and taking a cold shower.... You need better goals. Drop your foam sword. Both of them.

Your life, if you are striving to reach goals, will and should have more than it's share of suffering and hardship without you having to manufacture unnecessary uncomfortable moments to make yourself feel like a "Strong Man".

So if monk mode is a step on the way to some goal for you, fucking awesome. If you're just doing it without a greater goal or purpose in mind, then you have to evaluate why.

Glad you're back, bud.. you fell off the radar for a bit. Understandable. Sorry re. your losses. Rough year.

[–]matrixtospartanatLV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply.

What I got out of it is this...

What I am doing now in self improvement is not the goal, but merely the path I am taking to get to where I want to be, achieving greater things.

Reminds me of that scene with Yoda and Luke in the swamp with the sunken X-wing fighter.

The goal wasn’t to levitate the fighter, but to do it so the developed skill would lead to doing greater things.

Thank you for your condolences.

Life has kicked me in the nuts every year for five straight years.

Now I’m wearing a cup, and I’m going to turn that bitch around and fuck her in the ass.

[–]dix2long 28 points29 points  (0 children)

When my best friend was rushing for his fraternity, he was required to approach a minimum amount of women a day.

These girls want to be talked to, just go say "hi."

[–]BorisJohnson4PM 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I think it was in one of Joe Rogan’s podcasts he talked about why people are so afraid of discomfort. Once you realise, and then internalise, the ability for discomfort or even a drive to push yourself beyond your comfort zone, which is what discomfort is, then you will find what you were looking for.

[–]1Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah man, Rogan's podcast is cool because he interviews such a diverse group of people - you get a sample of every different ideology.

Anything that is going to lead you to your goals is going to also make you uncomfortable. But not chasing your goals is also going to cause you a different kind of discomfort: the discomfort of feeling that you're not accomplishing what you could be.

There's no way to avoid discomfort, but you can choose discomfort that is meaningful and leads to progress or you can choose discomfort that is stagnant and meaningless.

[–]olakrak 5 points6 points  (3 children)

So I'm in the analizing stage and want to make the first move. So my question is this, I'm 25 and don't have mates that going out. Where are the best places to go alone, should I try a bar or maybe a nightclub?

Also I'm not really into the nightclubs, should I just take that for granted or is that a fear thing?

[–]p3n1x 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Go to church, it doesn't matter (don't be a goober and do it during a funeral). The issue is the lack of approach itself, trying to pick the perfect location is still making excuses for not doing it. Chat up a girl at the grocery store, the library, bus stop, anywhere works. Just understand that rejection and failure are part of the process.

I'm 25 and don't have mates that going out.

Find some. If your mates aren't getting laid either, maybe time to shuffle your mates.

[–]1Socialinception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best options, depending on your city are usually: -Clubs -Popular bars -College Campus -Malls -Streets with a lot of foot traffic

I'm not really into nightclubs either, but a good nightclub has an extremely high volume of attractive women. It's a great place to develop your assertiveness, and if you're interested in one night stands, the easiest way to get them is from clubs.

If you don't have friends to go out with, make friends when you go out. If you see guys approaching girls, befriend them and wing with them - if you get along, you can exchange contact information and do the same thing on a regular basis.

I've pulled solo a number of times, you don't really need wings to pull from a club. Frankly, a lot of wings will make it harder to pull rather than easier. If you can find a good wing, definitely go out with them, but going out solo is better than not going out at all.

Most logical reasons we come up with for not going out are just rationalizations. We feel emotional resistance to the idea of approaching women, so we come up with a logical reason to act on those emotions - "Club girls are too bitchy" "I need a wing" "I want to meet a girlfriend, and club girls are low quality" "I need to get my degree first" "I have a full time job, I don't have time to go out" ETC ETC - they're all bullshit. If you want to do better with women, you have to go out and approach, starting as soon as possible, there's no alternative. You can try Tinder if you want, but you're going to be pulling girls who are less attractive than you (because the sexual marketplace on Tinder works against men)

[–]Greek-God-Brody 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look for an RSD Inner Circle in your city and make a post (either on the FB groups or the RSD forum) saying that you're looking for a wingman.

Also: there is no such thing as 'not into nightclubs'. If you believe in expanding your personality / charisma, stop having such limiting beliefs.

[–]duckInTheHole 12 points13 points  (1 child)

This is pure gold, very well-written and helpful. Straighforward, true from start to finish, high-value content. Thank you.

[–]1Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, appreciate the comment!

[–]Mr_IamNotGandalf 10 points11 points  (3 children)

What places would you recommend for going to meet women? I am a fairly young lad so I feel like bar's are out of my league however I am also in a STEM field in university so my social circle doesn't seem to throw parties with HB7+ girls in them (I am actively working on expanding my social circle outside of university but that takes time)

[–]p3n1x 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am actively working on expanding my social circle outside of university

One step at a time.

You won't need to ask "where should I go" when you are ready to approach your version of HB7+'s. It sounds like you are looking for a herd to follow, be the leader.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What places would you recommend for going to meet women?

Ummm... They're literally everywhere. It's so stereotypical but I met my second wife at the grocery store. One of the best pieces of ass I ever got I met at the library. Bars are easy pickings. Don't be afraid to use dating apps either.

Look kid part of being redpilled is you'll have the veil lifted and be able to see what's going on. Women are out there fucking. When they're gonna, they're gonna. Make sure it's your dick.

[–]1Socialinception[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

While school is in session you can do daygame at your university (unless it's a particularly small school). Just don't be too aggressive and you won't get a bad reputation.

You say bars are out of your league meaning you're not of legal age or meaning you don't feel comfortable with bars? If you're of legal age, clubs are generally the best options for meeting attractive women, any thought that they're out of your league is silly.

Otherwise you've got malls, grocery stores, busy streets, busy parks, etc. etc. just go where there's a high volume of people in your city.

[–]1FranticlyFrank 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What I'm more and more realizing is that the easiest way to get to a result is the following:

  1. Define a result you would like to have. Can be f*cking a new girl every week. Can be becoming ripped. Can be having great posture.

  2. Find people that already have that result, and ask what they did. Make a plan to replicate their steps, but over a long time.

  3. Ask these same people (mentors, coaches, trainers) to keep you accountable to your plan. They will measure, manage and redirect.

Examples:

  1. Result is gaining 10 lbs in muscle. Went to quite expensive gym, got a personalized plan and diet advice. Now I know deep down I will make progress. They will check in every 6 weeks and measure.

  2. My posture is bad. I went to a physiotherapist today, and got some exercises. Now another check in is scheduled in 2 weeks.

  3. I want to make improvement in one of my hobby of making techno. A friend makes professional tunes, and has agreed to check in every 4-5 weeks and give me some exercises.

  4. This also goes for dating/meeting woman. It's a skill. There are so many people that have the result you want. Create a workout plan for meeting women, then find people that can hold you accountable (note: preferably real life people, but definitely people that have that result).

Make a schedule. First 3 weeks asking 2 people a day if they know the time. Next 3 weeks, ask something more personal, etcetera. Change it to where you are at.

Know: there are people that have the result you want. Create a plan to get you there (and calculate more time for it then you think). Ask these people to coach and mentor you, or review your schedule.

[–]chemical-miracle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great write up, looking forward to the next

[–]ElijahBurningWoods 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What do you mean by going out? And do you do it alone?

[–]1Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just going somewhere with the express purpose of meeting women. If you get to a point where you can do approaches during your day-to-day life, great - but most guys need to start with dedicated "practice sessions".

And, yeah I do it alone when I do daygame (because wings aren't that useful in daygame) For nightgame, I usually go with wingmen, but you can go solo if necessary - I've pulled from nightgame a number of times solo.

[–]H8CourtshipALot217 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard elsewhere, that women only need to start learning dating skills once they reach 30, or over 35

[–]p3n1x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The over analyzer learns about how to attract women, but he spends little time interacting with them in the real world.

I have to disagree a bit here.

Extrovert vs. Introvert.

The extroverted over Over-Analyzer's get plenty of "real world" experience. The problem is they can miss queue's or fail to "shrug off" irrelevant things because everything they experience goes under the microscope.

Over-Analyzer's tend to be Over-Analyzer's for life. Learning to control and be balanced with the urges is the healthy direction.

Notifications

This may be a good start, but if you are "forcing" yourself to go out and interact and haven't taken control of your character and frame, that forced energy will glow off of you like a "fuck off" Batman beacon.

t’s much easier to rationalize and procrastinate. I.E. “I’ll go out next week,” or “I’m not feeling today.”

This behavior usually manifests from stress/depression. It means you are uncomfortable with something in your life. Fix that first. Insecurity is the only reason a man would "I'm not feeling it today" for pussy.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

Game lmao! If game is so useful then can someone find me a short, ugly, nobody and poor man with seduction skills that's pulling and keeping hot ass every weekend.

Wealth is what makes the man attractive as the provider for stability and her future offspring.

Status is what makes the man attractive so she can get attached to for her own benefit.

Looks/genes is what makes the man attractive authentically/naturally to women.

... If you don't have at least one of them core attributes then all you be doing is chasing ass all your life with no results or you'd settle for a landwhale or post wall slut.

[–]whatnololyea 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Game is useful when you have wealth, status, etc handled. I know a lot of guys making the big bucks but hardly get laid (if at all LOL).

Game is like your guitar skills, while your status as a man is the guitar itself. You can have an awesome guitar but it'll still sound horrible if you suck, while a good guitar player with a mediocre guitar can only get as far. Even Eric Clapton cannot make a broken guitar sound good as well.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All that sounds like a bad analogy of what game really is. I used to be in to game back in my college day's and it never worked for me due to my circumstances. It only worked on women roughly around my league or on women below my league. Women these days have too many options and will always sexually desire chad thunder cock. Sorry if that sounds too black ill.

[–]1Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Status isn't static. You can get status by being famous or being in a position of authority, but you can also get status through your behavior. If you're the center of attention, you have a strong frame, and you are a leader, women will perceive you to be of high status. Remember, we didn't evolve to show status with job titles or fancy cars, we evolved to respond to behavior - alpha behavior is an honest signal for high-status. That's what women respond to on the deepest level.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you say all this shit but where's the scientific evidence that proves all your nonsense. Women want good genes and financial security.

[–]BloodRedPillz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Love this, great read.

I used to be stuck in this stage. Like you said, the only real way you can overcome it, it to stop reading so much and start doing. I'm looking forward to the next one.

[–]hotlinedubai -1 points0 points  (0 children)