Rant/VentingThey want you to be sad (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by gravewithinagrave

I was in a LTR for around 2 and a half years - good looking girl, one of those bipolar alternative feminist goth girl types - from age 17 - 20.

I was fairly blue pilled at that point and she had control over me as a result - shit got fucked up with her job and I (being the cuck that I was) said that she could focus on her mental health and I’d pay the rent and bills for a while.

This went on for over 6 months with absolutely no effort put on her behalf - we both had a fairly bad weed addiction (smoking over an ounce a week) and I had to quit because I couldn’t afford it anymore - she refused to of course. I remember her having full on breakdowns when she ran out and I’d refuse to buy her more - she dropped the bong and smashed it once and was in tears screaming at herself - absolutely insane.

I was working 7 days a week - 12 hour days on average - in a kitchen with barely any cash to spend on myself or my hobbies and this obviously had a terrible affect on my mood - I was fucking depressed, suicidal even - I honestly don’t know how or why I stayed with her. I guess I thought that she was all I had at that point of time.

Anyway - eventually one day she decided that she wanted to end it - because ‘she didn’t want me to have to look after her and wanted to focus on herself’ - fucking cop out, she wanted to slut around and not have to deal with any responsibility and I knew it.

I was left with having to figure out how I was going to break the lease at my apartment and get everything moved out - I had to pay rent until the landlord found a suitable replacement - luckily after about a month they found someone else to move in and everything was sorted - I got to keep the full bond for the apartment as repayment from her (LOL)

After I had sorted out everything and had reflected on the last few years I realised how much of a fucking waste it was. I went crazy - had money to spend for the first time in a long time - fucked every bitch I possibly could (within reason) - my count went from 5 to 15 in a month. I went to the city a lot did a lot of drugs went to fancy hotels with friends etc. just fucking enjoyed myself for once. Life was fucking good and in retrospect I’m so glad I took it all so well.

I blocked the bitch on all my social media accounts that I was aware of as soon as we broke up - out of sight out of mind. One day I get a message on tumblr (I don’t use it much so I forgot to block) from her asking how I’ve been etc - I respond saying good having fun blase blase. I wish I still had the messages but I deleted and blocked but she said something along the lines of: “I’ve been doing terrible, havent gotten a job and I’m finding it hard to keep going - you look like you’re doing really well though” and then she says something that I will never forget: “It’s funny that I broke up with you to focus on myself and I haven’t gotten anywher yet you’re doing so well for yourself and are so happy. It makes me want to kill myself”

This is when I realised how fucking evil they are. They want you to be sad. They want you to be unable to progress without them. If they see you doing better than them they will run back and try and fuck you up again.

I had her blocked on everything. My instagram is private so I didn’t know how she knew I was doing so well but then I realised I still had her bands instagram account on there - the bitch was spying the whole time.


I’ve been reading red pill for the past 6 months or so - figured it was time to share my experience :-)

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 236 points237 points  (2 children)

She wants to to be sad, so her hamster can justify that she broke up with a weak man. You being happier without her just makes her hamster goes wild.

[–]Paladin2903 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Exactly. A weak man doesn’t even register as human, to them. Once they see a man as “weak,” he becomes a ghost.

[–]NofapFrance 39 points40 points  (0 children)

That's it, it's just woman nature.

[–]SerendipitySociety 146 points147 points  (2 children)

If they see you doing better than them they will run back and try and fuck you up again.

And literally fuck you again. Especially if it's just on her terms, she's gonna enjoy the hell out of the sex and the apartment and the money, and you're going to end up poorer than when she first ran away. The selfish route is best - especially if you're young, hooking up with girls beside her, on your terms, won't screw you over nearly as hard.

[–]menial_optimist 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Except if he's raw dogging and the girls he's with aren't on the pill. Then he may be fucked for 18 years and this little tidbit is irrelevant.

[–]Vithonil 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That's why you ALWAYS wear a condom. Dont trust the bitch to use the pill. Ever.

[–]Churningaway 1 points1 points [recovered]

Dude don't beat yourself up over it. Be thankful you unplugged from the Matrix so soon and with only a few thousand in monetary losses. Many others have spent their entire lives, gotten divorce raped, endless heartache etc. Onwards and upwards.

[–]gravewithinagrave[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m definitely glad I was able to wake the fuck up so early. It was the only LTR ive ever been in and I honestly learnt a lot from it so in a way I’m happy it all happened really. I could be in the same situation / mindset right now and if that was the case I would be fucked, I can’t even comprehend living like that now I can look at it in retrospect.

[–]RedPill_Swinger 54 points55 points  (4 children)

They don't want to be sad, they need it. I'm fact they need to experience every single emotion for they are emotion whores, a woman who's had a perfect life will deliberately make some shit up so as to experience sadness as well because she'll be craving it

[–]gravewithinagrave[S] 43 points44 points  (2 children)

It’s funny bc end of last year I saw a friend of hers out at a pub - apparently she was telling people I abused her physically and thats why she left me. Absolutely insane.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Holy hell what a CUNT. I've been there man. One phone call and you'll be locked up.

I would get some type of verification from her that you never assaulted her, but be covert and slick about it. Audio recording first, then try to get text

[–]SexualBowelMovement 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In college my girlfriend was a lying bitch like this. One night a group was drinking and watching tv. Not very wild or too much drinking. I got tired around 10pm. I decided to go to bed. Fast forward 2 hours... she decides it’s time for bed and had continued drinking since I went to bed. Supposedly she walked in and yelled at me to make space for her. I didn’t wake up. Admittedly having just a few beers probably made me sleep very soundly, plus remember, I WAS TIRED! Her next action was to literally jump into the bed and onto my lower back while pounding on my upper back with two fists. I reacted very quickly...by having the shit scared out of me. I thought I was being attacked. I jumped up out of the bed to escape this unknown attacker and in the process she was thrown off of the bed.

This story turned into ‘you were drunk and abusive toward me.’ That led to a former good friend and I throwing actual punches at each other (the same night). He and I were never friends again.

I did eventually dump her. As mentioned elsewhere in this thread, as soon as she saw how happy I was and how much fun I was having she tried like hell to get back into the picture. Bye felicia.

[–]Stron2g 49 points50 points  (2 children)

Not all women want you to be sad - you just happened to get into a LTR with a mentally unstable and probably toxic female. Of course you're gonna have a really bad experience. This is why you never date people who are mentally ill.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think all women engage in toxic femininity. #downwiththematriarchy

[–]basedmattnigga7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen friends date women like this and it did not go well, and it certainly didn’t end well (for her). My friend is doing great though!

The mental chicks will bring you down with them. Only option is to get out. Don’t try to help her unless you are a professional therapist and know what you’re doing. And in that case, don’t be dating her!!!!!

[–]TinyManufacturer 14 points15 points  (2 children)

It's not that they want you to be sad, it's typically not a maliciousness. It's that they don't want you to be doing better after they leave. They want to feel like they mean something to you and they don't want to leave if you mean more to them than vice versa. A lot of times they can't accurately judge who has the power in the relationship and if they feel like they have the power then they look elsewhere and leave. That's why it's so hard to find a good women because you're role isn't to powertrip like women do, your use of power is much more subtle. Men have mastery over themselves and by being a master of themselves and doing what is right for themselves they exude power because their life is truly their own.

If your life was a 4 when you were with her and it suddenly becomes a 7 when she's gone then the only variable is her. It's a hit to her state of being whether it's subconscious or not. If they felt like they had the control when they dumped you yet they feel that their life went from a 4 to a 1 and then see that your life went from a 4 to a 7 then that changes the context of the breakup in their mind and they see how fucking stupid they were because you obviously meant more to them than vice versa. Because women act so much on emotions they do a lot of processing subconsciously. When they finally understand something like above consciously it drives them batty. It makes them incredibly volatile and they get desperate. You see that in the way she stalked you online.

Good for you for holding your own frame after the relationship and getting your shit together. You made a lot of good decisions.

[–]gravewithinagrave[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That was a great way of explaining it. Appreciate it man

[–]artificialfather 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think this is the kind of comment that Endorsed Contributors would agree with.

[–]Lambdal7 35 points36 points  (0 children)

That's not really a good example. Yes, bipolar bitches fuck up your life completely, but there are also women who are not completey fucked up in the head.

[–]TruthSeekaaaaa 9 points10 points  (0 children)


Bipolar, boarderline or any related issues are a snapquit. I hope you learned it

[–]FlyInSpace 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Posts like this one are exactly why I take everything so skeptically in this sub. You had a jealous and neurotic girlfriend taking drugs, who became upset knowing you were doing fine while her life was going downhill. From that, you make conclusions and broad generalizations about women "wanting" men to be sadder than them. Complete nonsense.

TRP has always taught us girls want confident and beaming men so they can reflect this happiness and feel as good as them - your happiness makes their happiness.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Spot on. Women aren't evil. They are just callous. They have a virtual 0 Bullshit tolerance when it comes to weakness. I'm glad it's that way.

They want a man capable of living and walking a happy life that is infectious on themselves.

[–]1a_passager 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take everything so skeptically in this sub

Good. What portion of posters on here actually have a good understanding of the material? Certainly nothing near 100%

[–]RedPill_Swinger 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Bitches keep coming back, but I never give them a second chance and put them aside, if they become too obsessed I blocked them. I've never had a second chance and that's what I've learned from them: never give a second chance.

Ignoring them drives them mad, but the point is why should you give them a second chance after the emotional turmoil you didn't deserve in the first place?

[–]Heart_of_a_Lion0414 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your last statement hit right in the feels.

[–]zyqkvx 27 points28 points  (0 children)

That's the thing about being on drugs with a girlfriend. You have to deal with her woman mentality shit, and her drug mentality shit on top of your bluepill shit and your drug mentality shit. Then when you find yourself in a bad place it's a lot of work just to get back to zero.

To be critical with your post (aka a dick) you are sharing your bad judgements and her bad judgements all wrapped up as though it was only her bad judgements. Also, and especially because of that, you didn't really offer any value to the TRP subreddit. It was just a rant with no lessons learned that even the most bluepilled didn't already know.

Don't be offended, just grasp it and carry on.

[–]theaspiringasshole 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Women feed off the emotional turmoil they create, and when and where there is calm and quiet they will create drama just to get another hit of their emotional cocaine. A good default position to have is to view them as more trouble than they're worth, holding them accountable for their behavior and making them prove themselves worthy of your time.

[–]argcisman 36 points37 points  (8 children)

Girls want you to be sad ? That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard. If you find a good LTR she will do anything in her way to make life easier for you so you can have your full focus on your job or whatever you are doing. She will cook, clean and give you sex whenever you want it. She is a reflection of you. If she has a successful man she will also be seen as successful. That's how a LTR should be like.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's how a LTR should be like.

I ideally you throw the grenade before it blows up in your hand.

Holy fuck, almost everyone in this thread needs to review the parts of the sidebar talking about shit tests. Women don't give a fuck if you are sad. They care about how you react if they try to make you sad.


[–]gravewithinagrave[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I don’t think you understand what I was trying to get at

[–]argcisman 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Your title is "They want you to be sad". Then you go on a rant that bipolar blue haired feminists with daddy issues aren't good for you like that's something new. If your title would instead be "Bipolar girls aren't good for you" people would tell you that it's common knowledge that bpd girls are just hassle. But that's basically what you wrote in your post anyways. All I'm saying is that you have a misleading title and it leads to this circlejerk mgtow shit "all girls just want to ruin me". Yeah no shit that happens if you end up with a bipolar girl with a gagreflex as absent as her father.

[–]gravewithinagrave[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

The point I was trying to make is that she wanted me to be upset that she had left me, she wanted me to not progress and when she saw me doing so it fucked with her and made her try and come back.

Yes I could have not mentioned the rest - I could’ve not mentioned the bpd and feminist part. Me being in a shit relationship with a shitty person wasn’t the point I was trying to make I just wanted to put it in context.

[–]TheShearerComplex 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She obviously has serious mental issues and probably is a toxic person in general though, you can’t compare her to the average girl. If your dating high quality girls 90% of the time none of this would have happened.

[–]2kez88 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think his point still stands. You still used a dumb click bait title for shit thats 100% obvious and been repeated on this sub like a thousand times

[–]fistinggirls4free 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your post is true, he’s just butthurt for no reason. If you see a title you think is clickbait don’t click it. Simple.

[–]Vintage_Cola 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Men are attracted to women because of their extremely high SMV.

Strangely enough, women aren't so attracted to men with high SMV, although that is a factor. Rather, they are thirsty for men's success. Your rise to greatness and success made you a very attractive man to be around, which made that bitch regret leaving you, so she tried to get you back.

[–]Huwe 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Seems to me like you had a pretty negative experience with one female, who was undoubtedly using your good nature to her advantage. I don't think I'd suggest that this was anything near the norm, though - certainly not to the extent that you're suggesting you were in anyway.

Emotions definitely get used to each person's advantage when it suits, though. Men and women both do that depending on who they are and what their circumstance is.

[–]0wnieee 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Oh man, your story about your relationship is so fucking scarily similar to mine man, we broke up and I was enjoying life and 6 months later she messaged me and I took her back.... It was all nice and fun for a few months, we moved in and she was really depressed and I spent all my energy on her and trying to fix her and make her happy, 7 months after that we are now split up and she went off and is fucking other guys and it left me worse off than I have ever been, She has really fucked me up, I swear some higher being forced this read upon me right now.. I needed this. Ive been having a really hard time moving forward because she fucked me up in ways I never thought possible. They really are evil, you are right, they come back to fuck you and make you miserable even if its unintentional on their part, and that cycle will forever repeat with them until we decide no more... go make someone elses life miserable please and thank you!

[–]gravewithinagrave[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m glad I was able to help you think about things man - stay up and remember AWALT

[–]Barvazon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are so angry at her.

You should accept her for who she is.

You are the only person you shouls be angry at.

[–]crespo_modesto 1 point2 points  (4 children)

ounce a week

Fuck isn't that like an entire week's paycheck, guess depends on your job

“I’ve been doing terrible, havent gotten a job and I’m finding it hard to keep going - you look like you’re doing really well though” and then she says something that I will never forget: “It’s funny that I broke up with you to focus on myself and I haven’t gotten anywher yet you’re doing so well for yourself and are so happy. It makes me want to kill myself”

Fuck that sucks, guilt trip

[–]gravewithinagrave[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

$250 a week - $300 p/w rent - plus paying for food etc - earning about 1K a week if it was busy.. I was fuckin broke lmao

[–]crespo_modesto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn $1k a week though, not bad I think you mentioned restaurant, must have been nearly killing yourself with the hours you were working unless you're paid really well.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a metaphor for how women view society. More men like you need to drop out of supporting ungrateful psycho bitches

[–]DoubleOsiete 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're lucky you did not get her pregnant.

[–]dinnerwithfunions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As soon as I started bettering myself, my ex that inevitably turned me to Dr. Red pill started trying to get back in touch. I ignored. Then I heard her dad had a heart attack, luckily he survived and I wanted to reach out to extend sympathy (her dad is a good guy and I had established a relationship with her family by that point).. I was met with threats from her and her new boyfriend to back off blah blah. Ok, I blocked her email and phone.

A few years later, I'm doing 10x better for myself. Lo and behold psycho demon calls me out of the blue. She had a different number, but as soon as I heard the voice.. I hung up instantly.


You're better off forgetting them like a body left for dead. You go back and it could mean getting swiss cheesed in a hail of gun fire.

[–]fukdembitches 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Are you nuts bruv? a pussy will always be treated like a pussy. From the onset you should have shown her who is boss and shown the back of your hand when she stepped.

[–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankfully I never went through something like that, sounds like you were stuck with a rotten one. Your story however, is not unique to the red pill. Best of luck on your awakening and journey here.

[–]inthenameofkek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]lucasblake69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy crap your post is so relatable. My ex was literally the bipolar alternative feminist goth girl type, same as your ex. So after the break up, i moved on, had a well-paid job, fix myself up, being happy. One day, i came over to return her stuffs, girl showed me the writings on her wall ( lots of suicidal thoughts and other crap ), said she wrote them when i was gone and wanted me to see how sad and depressed she is when i " forget about her as if she didn't exist " ( straight from her words ). lmao bitch didn't even remember that she left me for a classic branch-swing

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girls are teenagers no matter their official age. Everything is processed on a teenage level of cognitive awareness: "friend", "foe", "better than me", "worse than me", "fun!", "not fun!". Don't project maturity or responsibility onto something that just ain't there.

[–]TempleOfIron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AWALT. Don't ever cohabitate with them

[–]A1I4D8S8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You learned the hard way , but 1 rule is if she doesn't respect you for the first time she will never respect you.Never come back to this bitch, she just want you for money or for her emotional rollecoster, because she needs someone more sad than her to make her feel better thats it.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that women want you to feel happy or sad. They are impelled by their instincts to test you, to apply pressure and see how you handle it. If you respond with anxiety, they become anxious. If you respond with calm, controlled mastery, they become calm.

Once a woman feels relaxed and falls in love with you, then she can be concerned for your happiness. Because at that point, she has switched modes from "testing you" to "keeping you".

But the tests never truly stop. Even a woman in love will test your fitness from time to time to verify your enduring value.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. Just how it is...

[–]Science4Lawlz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I couldn't agree more! My last girlfriend who I later found out is suffering from depression and failing classes reached out to me to help her with a 10 page paper she saved until the last minute(literally 2 hours before it's due). Bro, you don't know how hard I LOL'ed! I was like "Get your fiancee to help you" and she's like "He's too stupid to help, I need you." LOL! Wot?!?! Are you serious?!?! Fuck you, fuck your mom, fuck your dad, fuck your brothers, and fuck the god damn horse you rode in on you stupid selfish cunt. Some nerve asking me to help you after you wreck my life and almost send me to jail then get engaged to a complete moron! Wow!

[–]vikTheFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old are you right now man?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"and try and fuck you up again"

Dude, I don't mean to alarm you, but I think you might have lived my entire life. Except I ended it with her. Sorry you had to deal with that.

Thank you for the motivation. I am saving this post.

Thank you for sharing. Best of luck

[–]1Zanford 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's just regretting that she sold a stock right before it went up.

If you feel like it, consider having her over again so you can game her and make her beg you to do all the freaky sexual shit you didn't do during your actual LTR. Give her some nice sessions of orgasmic anal and BDSM, then you can walk away again feeling a lot better about all the time you wasted on her.

[–]Calgarydirty692 0 points1 point  (0 children)

look if I don't get laid Friday, shit hits the fan women, it's not all about you, why do you think there are so many straight people who turn gay you bitches turn your back on your friends fucking their husband/brother/relative you can't blame the man just cause you were a slut, my GF caught herpes I didn't catch it ha ha fucking slut it up and look