498

Finally nuked the Hamster (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by everythingyouthink

Writing this after the best sex I’ve had in years.

Want to keep this short. Quick background: 6 years of marriage, bedroom activity on life support.

Her hamster starts doing cartwheels this morning before I go to work, on a topic we’ve been over a million times. She’s trying to make her problem into my problem. Beta me would have done anything she wanted to help her feel better. But today, I turned the corner, I had had it. I placed that hamster right in the microwave. Stayed calm, explained we’d been over this and I won’t be discussing it further, and that I was insulted by her insistent, accusatory tone. Promptly left for work. All day, calls, texts... followed the rule, did not engage. By the time I returned home she had realized that I wasn’t going to be a part of her crazy any more. We talked, I didn’t budge. Ended with her feeling sheepish.

Tonight, sex was possibly better than it ever has been. She initiated, pleased me the way I like, went all out...

I feel respected, and have restored the dignity I have been slowly losing all these years.

TRP works people. It really works.


[–]otterberg1 466 points467 points  (24 children)

Keep in mind that she lost the battle and she knows it. She will come back harder and meaner to take back the ground she lost. gear up for MENSA level shit tests. Zen the fuck up right now because you have a shit storm coming. Props to you for taking back your dignity. Keep it by practicing abundance mentality.

[–]TheEnglishman28 168 points169 points  (5 children)

So many shit tests that they will blot out the sun.

You must then maintain frame in the shade.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Then we shall have smash sesh in the shade

[–]HoneySquash 26 points27 points  (7 children)

Is that shit fucking worth all that hassle.

[–]Jampak_5000 23 points24 points  (0 children)

No. But we're men, so we do it anyway.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Any relationship should be "worth it"

Wife, friend, LTR, plate; the second you have to put more value in than you get out, means it's time to next that relationship.

[–]HoneySquash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the second you have to put more value in than you get out, means it's time to next that relationship.

Huh, never thought about it like that. I like it.

[–]1Metalageddon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kinda.

It's kept the species going.

On a personal level, no. You can always find better. Just do it.

[–]HazyClown 15 points16 points  (4 children)

[–]59Aisires59 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Shit storm troopers killed me 😁

[–]HazyClown 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Shit moths Randy, shit moths....

[–]xvsOPxDwUw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hand movements like a shit hawk

[–]nabosch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Zen the fuck up" Using this

[–]casemodz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't getting the divorce started be a good idea in that case?

[–]Hviterev -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's OK if it's just that mensa are retards.

[–]redisthetruth 113 points114 points  (0 children)

Nice! Very happy for you.

What a weird world we live in. The colder we become, the hotter they chase us.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 25 points26 points  (8 children)

She just used sex to deescalate the situation. Nothing wrong with that, but you have to be aware about where's she coming from.

Upon my impending divorce, my ex suddenly turned into a sexy bombshell that for some reason, wanted to have much more sex than ever before. I didn't bite.

[–]1Sir_Distic 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Have you ever, in your life, met a woman that doesn't use sex as a weapon? To placate you, or withholding it to punish you etc.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes I have. You only need to not be around women that do that and you will eventually find women that just don't do it.

And in this time and age, men can also use sex for manipulation.

[–]1dongpal 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I fucked my ex so good that I told her straight that she suffers way more than I do when we dont fuck. And she knew it. Thus she would never withholding sex to "punish" me lol.

[–]casemodz 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I was gonna say...am I the only one who isn't easily manipulated by a woman wanting to have sex? It seems like the ultimate desperation as if that's the only thing they have of value, lol. I don't want vagina if the thing attached to it is a completely irrational bi polar cunt.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Part of holding frame also entitles saying no to sex when used as a bargaining token, imo.

[–]casemodz 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thank you for that info. Could have helped in my previous relationship

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 1 point2 points  (1 child)

A lot of stuff in this sub could have helped us in the past....

[–]casemodz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love reading stuff that I could have used in the past but then I realize that it's so much work to do this and that I'm more mgtow than redpill because of how much more I enjoy my hobbies and stuff.

[–]basscatcher01 19 points20 points  (2 children)

What is the hamster a metaphor because the first time I read it I read it literally an was very confused

[–]That1betaUknow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just a term to say she got riled up about something and became anxious /angry

[–]kaspell 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the US, hamster pets would have running wheels in their cages, and were known to run themselves to death in this wheel. ergo, so much wasted energy with no real outcome. No matter how much the hamster ran, it never went anywhere.

[–]Trip-trader 1 points1 points [recovered]

Good work congrats, that’s one battle, the war is still up for grabs though. Be strong and learn all you can.

I’ve had a similar thing happen after I finally stood up and said “enough! decide if you want to be with me or not, decide”. After a 2 year deadbedroom after kids (yeah I’m beta as fuck). After an epic level shit test of “I’m a moving out with the kids, or you move out TODAY! I want a divorce”. Starts sending me photos of a house, she is going to buy and take the kids away”.

I don’t engage her outbursts and say “that’s a nice place I hope you find happiness and I just want to see my kids”.

Two hours later she is texting me to have sex, and make up and we start having regular sex. Which quickly over 3 months goes back to dead bedroom.

I have a tricky situation as my wife is extremely depressed, irrational and channels that inner pain into hatred of me through projection. Planning on self improvement learning Redpill then leaving. Good luck with your future battles.

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (3 children)

Dam I hate reading this shit

[–]1empatheticapathetic 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Dude has a way out now. I'm happy for him.

[–]casemodz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Record her being crazy. Show in court?

[–]wayneinthegame 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Bpd, irrational and channels inner pain into hatred of me through projection...

Woah dude, that's my ex wife you're fucking.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (6 children)

I was in your spot about 6 months ago, it will never get better long term with the mental illness. The sex will always be spotty depending on where they are on the depression/mania scale. Divorce, she will still call you to get laid when she is manic. My wife was a dead fish for 75% of our marriage but now I put a leash on her and drag her around the house and do whatever I want to her. My kids were relieved and are happy to see me smiling and happy. She was miserable to the kids but has improved a lot now that it’s 50/50.

[–]Trip-trader 1 points1 points [recovered]

Glad your doing well mate and found some happiness. Woman with mental illness are not suited well to handle the stress of parenting, it can really mess them up.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

100%. I had maids, nanny’s, laundry service, etc and she still struggled. Then she would get embarrassed by all the help so she would cancel them and everything would go to hell in 3 days or she would yell at me.

[–]315skwot 2 points3 points  (1 child)

For all you guys saying no sex during marriage. Was it better when you weren't? I'm assuming it was otherwise marriage would be out of question to a large extent.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, Our sex life was fantastic before marriage and even the first year or so. Then it got stale and disappeared after the first kid... until she wanted a second kid. After that sex happened on vacations and birthdays, rationed so if I tried really, really hard and all the stars aligned I might get laid. It was miserable. Now I am dating younger women that will meet me for a quicky on my lunch break if I ask.

[–]Broder45 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're not alone. Remember that. We got you.

[–]comcain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just realized my ex did the same thing ("channeled inner pain into hatred of me through projection." ... Thank you for writing that.

[–]PlatoTheGreato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hurts to read this. Godstrength brother.

[–]GoodThingsGrowInOnt 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Why would you leave? Do you know how much potential you have there?

I know this subreddit isn't big on the fundamentals of psychology, but she's playing a game called "if it wasn't for you." Or at least, she's trying to, with little success, because you're too much of a pussy. You're not willing to be the antagonist, you're too vested in the idea of the moral high ground. Ironically you're so vested in the idea of being the good guy it's causing you to fail your matrimonial and patriarchal duties.

That's what the red pill is, be the bad guy. Be the steady hand she needs you to be. She'll call you all sorts of horrible things, tell you you're horrible and evil. That's not a bad thing. That's flirting and foreplay in my world. If she really thought you were horrible, she'd stop talking to you.

There's people in this world I could kill in cold blood, watch the life drain out of their eyes, and feel nothing - that's hatred. Your wife doesn't hate you, she love-hates you. You're the one lacking enthusiasm.

[–]Trip-trader 1 points1 points [recovered]

You are right, I read something recently about the woman still caring if she rages at you. When they don’t care anymore, they become indifferent.

I have a lot of work to do on myself first, and will learn everything the red pill community has to offer. I fell in this relationship because of my own issues, I had no boundaries and became an enabler. I have a mountain to learn but committed to improving. Thanks for your comment.

[–]GoodThingsGrowInOnt -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It doesn't seem like you actually have any actual serious issues beyond a history of drinking soy. I hope you can rekindle the passion. TRP preaches pump and dumb but bailing on your progeny is the antithesis of red pill.

[–]weezylane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had the EXACT thing happen to me in the past. Except that we weren't married or with kids. She was self diagnosed BPD with social anxiety and she'd pick up fights with me for things I said 8 months ago. Nevertheless the relationship died and I'm a bit happy it did.

[–]AlShockley 22 points23 points  (19 children)

What exactly is the point of marriage and children if it ends in a dead bedroom and a relationship devoid of romance? Honestly curious. Because based on what I’ve gleaned from this sub that’s the worst possible decision you could ever make.

[–]Lambdal7 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Marriage doesn't make that happen, living together for 10 years does and the destructive behaviour of women at times to always require emotions or movement.

[–]CursingWhileNursing 19 points20 points  (5 children)

True, but the female entitlement and a gynoecentric society that caters to womens every whim and even praises them and gives them a cookie when they mess up are also extremely detrimental.

I have seen a lot of older and old married couples in my daily life and in my job as a nurse. And I have seen and still see a lot of those marriages actually work and both partners being content and happy with their partner and the marriage.

Because those people knew that a working relationship, especially a long time marriage, is work. It's not that this ring gives you instant and everlasting happyness, it's just the promise to try and do everything to make a marriage a source of such things.

I do have seen women taking care of their husbands selflessly and with devotion and for the absolutely biggest part, we are talking about women age 45 and higher. (At least here in the eastern part of Germany, the former GDR. In the western part, you need to adjust this age to maybe 55 at least; because they were hit by the full brunt of the feminist; social marxist movement.)

Nowadays women are told that marriage = instant and permanent gratification out of itself. When they leave a caring husband, because they feel "bored" with the marriage, they get celebrated by society. And even if they fuck up royally, it's still somehow the mans fault, because surley he was not treating her right.

And if a marriage fails and she can't find a new provider, then the government will marry her and pay for her life with the money of men.

Why should a woman feel the need to actually put effort into a marriage and to make it work? Nowadays, they see marriage like they see their social media accounts - a source of instant gratification, they can make pictures of themselfes with a pretty dress and when the whole things blows in their face, they just open a new account.

[–]uebermacht 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Good contribution!
However, a LTR/marriage is not work as you may describe it. It‘s a term of the fem-centric society that uses this term for their own benefit so the man only work on the LTR/marriage and the woman gives the grade. It‘s been written about the topic „relationship is work“ in The Rational Male already.
In your personal example about old couples in Ostdeutschland it‘s a little different. First its Deutschland and it‘s mentality back in times and second, these old wifes didn‘t knew better and still don‘t know, so they do what they done ever.
Even if some of these old Fotzen would force a divorce, they would end up alone anyway.

[–]CursingWhileNursing 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I think a lot of difference is made by the basic understanding that a marriage first and foremost was a community of purpose. Survival came first, then trust and then maybe romantic love, which is a relatively new concept anyway.

If you start a relationship with this premise, it is much more likely it survives hard times. I have seen old women kicking the asses of young women for wanting a divorce, because they "felt" bored, telling them they have no idea how good they have it and how lucky they should feel having such a faithful and caring husband.

A marriage is supposed to be something enabling two people to survive harsh times together. But nowadays, its purpose has been completey turned around by females and is now something that is supposed to make you feel special every day and that should be abandoned the very moment a problems shows up.

[–]uebermacht 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes, I fully agree with you.
Especially with the point of kicking asses. I've seen it in Russia often when I come to live there for a couple of weeks, a country where mostly harsh living conditions determine the survival of the female. Here in Germany, Vater Staat taking care of you as you may noticed as well.

[–]CursingWhileNursing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Vater Staat taking care of you

Oh yes, is is hard not to notice that. I just wish the state would take care of me the way it takes care of young women of half my age.

Instead, its ideas about taking care of me seem to circle around taking more than 50% of my salary as taxes, tell me which video games I am allowed to play and which movies I am allowed to watch, telling me which things I am allowed to think; say and vote for, that I can't smoke weed (while handing out free beer to my alcoholic patients) and that I need to die for my country in case shit hits the fan.

[–]AlShockley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. I think society has so warped the idea of marriage, settling down and children that there are few left who understand that it’s not just a permanent trip to Disneyland. Personally, I value my freedom more than anything else so I doubt I’d ever be satisfied with that life (assuming I was able to find someone who understood that romance doesn’t just die once children come along). It often does. Imagine coming home every night after work to a disinterested wife and then having to deal with taking care of ‘her children’, as if you both weren’t responsible for bringing them into the world. You’d become a shell of your former self—I’ve seen this happen with two of my friends so far. I’m 36 so I’m going to enjoy myself while I still can. I was beta AF for the entirety of my twenties and part of my 30s and only then did I start to learn. I wish I’d discovered TRP sooner but as they say, better late than never.

[–]WhirlingDeath 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Because the entire purpose of sex is to procreate. You get a burst to dopamine at orgasm as a reward for creating new life. Except you're using that urge for pleasure instead. You feel like you're doing something great but you aren't.

You can get a better dopamine rush from meth, lasts longer too.

[–]washington_breadstix 1 point2 points  (2 children)

People don't have to get married in order to procreate and raise offspring. In Iceland, it's common for couples to have children before they've even decided whether they want to get married. Not representative of humanity as a whole, but still.

[–]Ramp_Up_Then_Dump 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Family matters, the contract is a detail.

[–]sd38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This should be a thing. Find a woman you get along well enough to raise children with and live together with. The rest is fair game no marriage no legally binding bullshit. if the woman wants to leave there’s no “I’m taking the kids and half your money”

[–]casemodz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meth plus jacking off is great too. Just don't over do it

[–]TheSelfGoverned 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is. Women have destroyed the entire premise.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Kids are great, marriage... not so much.

[–]That1betaUknow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He shouldn't have to put up with her shit all the time. She should find him more valuable than any problem. She showed that the other night. REMEMBER 6 YEARS OF HIM BEING SWEET. She did not respect him for trying to solve the problem with her.

[–]That1betaUknow 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ah, took your question the wrong way. This is why you pick the right one and sort through the rest.

[–]Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll never forget what my dad told me in high school. "always look for a reason not to be with a woman. I've spent 30 years with your mother and haven't found one. you've spent 6 months with this girl and she's given you several"

[–]AlShockley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a tall order. I thought I’d found someone who was right two years ago but 8 months in she started pushing for living together and required constant affirmation that we would have children, something which I was still interested in back then. Huge red flag as we hadn’t even used the L word yet. I know exactly what would have happened had I not been smart enough to understand the situation for what it was. Needless to say things ended quickly after that.

[–]kidsplayoutside 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Children. Imagine having a son.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Until another guy provides the attention she tried getting from you and is more attractive....

[–]StickguyMB 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I placed that hamster right in the microwave

I can't stop giggling, it created a literal image in my head

[–]Cross_De_Lena 8 points9 points  (1 child)

"bedroom activity on life support." - immediately knew this was gonna be gud post.

I like your sense of humor.

[–]everythingyouthink[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow. Thank you all for the support and great advice! I figured maybe a few people would read this. She’s downstairs now, bringing me coffee in bed.

[–]letsbiohackslaves 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Victory is only temporary. KEEP GOING NEVER SETTLE!

[–]The_Chiselnator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't declare "Mission Over" yet. You have a long journey ahead of you. Now you might think that her shit is over but that was placating so that you can be her bitch again. Maintain frame. No more bullshit from her or you are out.

Frame is not some attire you wear once in a while. It is permanent state.

[–]ContreversialViews22 16 points17 points  (1 child)

11 words "Shut the fuck up, I don't care, sort it out yourself." best way IMO to shut down any woman hamstering at you

[–]Jampak_5000 13 points14 points  (0 children)

garbage response. no context. plus your response wont work for all situations. OP is married to the bitch. Just gives her ammo for the next 10 years. You're a noob, keep hustling

[–]Barvazon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

What was the problem she was bitching about?

[–]everythingyouthink[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Really long and complicated issue. Really not that interesting

[–]loganblade14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just take her over your knee

[–]weezylane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was reading David Deida's Way of the Superior Man and in it he doesn't exactly reference shit tests but here's what he basically said about when women throw tantrums or get in a bad mood which I think is okay to say that it's comparable to a shit test. Anyway he asks the men to not analyse the situation but take charge of it. To sweep her off her feet and love her by physically pressing her against the wall. After she's softened up, can you safely do the "logical man talk" and come to a sensible conclusion.

She will come back at you. That's for sure. But remember you must weigh your options as to which is the best method to attack the shit test. Should you follow David's advice or go for the idgaf attitude. It's about finding balance b/w the tenderness and aggression. Too much idgaf game can permanently turn her off.

[–]Im_A_NIC_Noob 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Newbie here, you didn’t actually kill a hamster, right?

[–]1Sir_Distic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

lol. No. Hamster is the term for a person, usually a woman's, thought process that makes excuses, thinks irrationally, over-obsesses etc.

Her mind is spinning like a hamster on a wheel.

[–]Im_A_NIC_Noob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh ok that makes way more sense. Thanks!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP can i get a little back story to give this post some context?

[–]Hviterev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That doesn't really count as nuking in my book, usually it includes purposely attacking and not just having a correct reaction or frame. When you nuke you basically shit test her back to oblivion.

That being said, glad for you it worked out.

[–]loganblade14 0 points1 point  (1 child)

As much as I support putting a bitch in her place I don’t support microwaving hamsters

[–]everythingyouthink[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hamster is a metaphor for her brain.

[–]NaltRightNow 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Did it explode? How long did you put it in there for? Animal cruelty isn't cool you goof. If I knew you in real life I'd hit you with a metal pipe

[–]everythingyouthink[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hamster is a metaphor for her brain.

[–]STROOQ 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Well done on killing a small animal.

[–]everythingyouthink[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hamster is a metaphor for her brain.

[–]HandsomeCub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now i want to read your post. The fact that this is being confused at all is funny

[–]its4lorn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Why did you delete your post?

[–]Komredd -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

You're still a Beta... Wtf are you doing sticking animals in microwaves, you piece of shit?

[–]everythingyouthink[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hamster is a metaphor for her brain.

[–]perplexedm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't need to explain this. People around here should know this already. btw, keep the attitude.