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Building PowerWhy Behavioral Addiction Will Destroy You (self.TheRedPill)

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Introduction

Behavioral addiction.
Heard of the term? It’s compulsively engaging in any activity that has harmful, negative consequences.
It’s the scourge of Western society. Especially with the advent of new technological forms of stimulation and mass media, the population at large is becoming increasingly addicted to these quick, easy fixes for your dopamine reward system.
Behavioral addictions waste your valuable time, suck up your energy, corrupt your inner state, and passively take control over your life. And the worst thing is—by their inherent nature, the more you engage in these behaviors, the more you are likely to participate in them in the future. If you’re not careful, they can destroy you.

The Reward System

Your best friend and worst enemy, the dopamine reward system. As humans, we all have a psychological reward system that reacts and conditions ourselves to certain stimuli and provides positive emotion as a result of their consummation.
The reward system is at the core of human behavior, having conservatively evolved as a large benefactor of natural human fitness. Built to associate certain behaviors with positive emotion through operant and classical conditioning, it has dramatically increased the likelihood of survival and reproduction in our species.
Ironically, the system has backfired. By having such a dramatic effect and influence on our conscious and subconscious choices, any stimuli presented to us can become reinforced through our reward system and subconsciously affect our actions.
This means that anything intrinsically, inherently pleasurable (sex, food, etc.) or extrinsically pleasurable (money) can become entwined with the reward system and motivate you to repeatedly seek out the action of the addictive behavior.
Through a positive feedback loop carried out by dopamine and other chemicals, the neural circuits involved in the action grow and strengthen, increasing its influence for future use. The more you do it, the more you want to do it in the future.

Behavioral Addiction

The reward system isn’t always bad. It motivates us towards our goals, builds proper habits that directly benefit us, and trains us to pursue worthwhile endeavors.
Unfortunately, the reward system can get fucked up. Badly. Especially with the introduction of new forms of mental stimulation through technology, our reward systems are passively becoming corrupted. Porn, video games, and other technological stimulation exploit our natural reward systems. Ever wonder why practically all young men today watch porn and play video games? They prey on our evolutionary instincts and behavior to induce an addiction.
Here’s a quick summary of how the cycle of behavioral addiction forms:
  1. You engage in a particular behavior.
  2. The behavior is intrinsically/extrinsically rewarding.
3.Dopamine conditions the reward system to strengthen the behavior.
  1. You feel a greater, more alluring motivation towards engaging in the behavior.
Repeat Step 1.
Your behavioral addiction literally rewires your brain physiologically. As the positive feedback loop continues to reinforce the addiction, more dopamine receptors are formed to accommodate the increased levels of the neurotransmitter.
Once the amount of receptors has been increased, the amount of dopamine needed to maintain homeostasis (or the feeling of "normal") is also increased so once you take away that reinforcer you also take away that excess dopamine in the reward pathways. This is why you may continue to engage in the addictive behavior when it is no longer “fun” or “pleasurable.” We need to fuel the brain's constant need of dopamine in order to feel “normal.” As your neural circuits become increasingly desensitized to the stimulus, you’ll want to engage in the behavior more while liking it less.
Why is it so difficult to stop? Stimulus control overrides conscious control. What this means is that the behavioral response to engage in the addiction dominates your behavior and any conscious intervention or inhibitory activity is decreased. Even though you know that it’s harmful for you, you’ll continue regardless. This is why willpower isn’t enough to stop an addiction—the addiction is literally caused by elements below your conscious and active control.
There are, in theory, an infinite number of possible behavioral addictions, but there are some that are much more common than others due to their addictive nature. Among them—porn, video games, gambling, Internet addiction—anything that offers instant gratification and harms you in the long term.
Note—Behavioral addictions and drug addictions both affect the reward system—the only difference is that drugs directly manipulate the neurotransmitters involved in its activity, and behavioral addictions passively affect them.

Porn

There’s a reason why we vehemently discourage porn here. It preys directly on one of your greatest motivators—your sex drive. You literally have thousands, if not millions, of hot women at your fingertips to pleasure yourself to. And it’s easy. It takes just seconds to click to a new website, open a video, and gawk away.
The moment your brain sees the shit you have in front of you, your reward system goes crazy. It goes haywire. Evolution hasn’t prepared your brain for this type of stimulation.
All you want to do is consume more and more—clicking through hundreds of videos, wasting away hours in front of your computer screen, and endlessly feeding off of the stimulation. And the more you watch, the more you fuck up and desensitize your system. You become less and less enthused by normal, vanilla shit, you develop strange fetishes, and you constantly seek greater stimulation and new, hotter women. There’s a name for this. It’s called the “Coolidge effect.” Look it up.
Instead of working to reach the top of the evolutionary hierarchy and becoming a high-status and attractive man, all you have to do is open your laptop and watch the latest pornstar get fucked senseless. It’s pathetic.
You’re killing your masculinity. A man’s sex drive motivates him to do all sorts of shit—work, reach his goals, and become powerful. You’re wasting it on a bunch of pixels on a screen.

Video Games

Video games are literally designed to be addictive.
You can engage in social activity with other players, reach defined goals within short amounts of time, see how you rank against others, clearly measure your progress, and endlessly receive rewards.
Instead of accepting the harsh reality of your sad, depressing life, you can escape through the video game and receive the pleasure that you so desperately seek. You can upgrade your character, win better loot, and improve your skills. And there’s no real failure. If you lose, you can just respawn and try again.
Whether or not you believe that gaming is fine in moderation, there is no debating the fact that video games are psychologically addictive.
You can get all the instant gratification and dopamine hits that you want. Anytime you want. And it doesn't matter how unsuccessful you are in life—video games are there to save you. But real life has no progress bar.
You can’t pay your fucking taxes, but you can win fifty games of Fortnite! You can’t wake up to your alarm clock, but you can get the cool new gear in Call of Duty! You can’t get your goddamn life in order, but you can get your Sims character to!
If you’re actually able to limit yourself, at most video games should be used a tool for relaxation. But even then, you should be extremely careful. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that you can play it less. If you’re addicted, you’re addicted.
Once you realize that the joy you get from video games is artificial, the rewards are meaningless, and you're wasting away your true potential, you can begin the process of quitting. It just takes that one moment of self-awareness.

Quitting the Addiction

I’ll assume that everyone already has goals and aspirations to move towards. If you don’t that, that’s the first step. If you have nothing to achieve in life, of course you’ll become behaviorally addicted to all the stimulating nonsense out there. It’s your only source of pleasure and motivation.
Once that’s fixed, you need self-awareness. You need to understand, deep-down, that the pleasure, rewards, and stimulation you receive from porn, video games, gambling, and other behavioral addictions are all artificial. You have to know that they are truly harmful, demeaning, and ultimately detrimental to your goals in life.
Then, you need to make a decision. Write it down. Make the decision to work towards quitting. If you can go cold turkey, do it. You will likely fail, but it allows you no wiggle room. Over time, if abstained from long enough, the addiction’s neural pathways will weaken and eventually become extinct.
As long as you continue to perceive the behavior as rewarding, you will continue to engage in it. It’s that simple.
Ask yourself how you feel in the moments when you regret giving in to the addiction and write it down. Repeat it to yourself. Journal about it. Meditate on the reality of your situation.
Install feedback and accountability. Create a calendar where you have to mark each day where you succeed in avoiding the addition. Tell a friend. Give someone $100 and ask for it back later only if you succeeded in the avoiding the addiction. Sell your desktop. Block harmful websites.
You have to be able to remind yourself consciously when you feel like giving in to the addiction why you’re working to quit. Even if you're feeling like absolute shit, tired, defeated, and depressed, you have to be extremely careful to not fall back into it. It’s at this time when you’re the most vulnerable—deprived of pleasure, you will be even more likely to jump at opportunities to obtain it. If you don’t watch yourself, you could succumb to the addiction again for days, weeks, or even months on end. You might relapse and end up giving in to defeat, resigning yourself to its influences for prolonged periods of time. One mistake—one relapse—and you could lose all the progress you’ve made.
It won’t be easy. In fact, breaking this behavioral addiction might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. However, the incredible triumph you’ll get out on quitting will be eternally greater than any fleeting pleasure you gleaned from the addiction itself.
Godspeed.

[–]chrisname200 points201 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

This is a good post on an important topic.

Personally I've never had a problem with porn addiction and I only play video games in bursts. But I definitely have a Reddit problem which some of you probably have in common. Problem is, how do you control your Reddit addiction without losing access to all the useful parts of Reddit, like TRP, science subs and fitness subs? Stop going on All? I exercise, work and pursue my hobbies every day, but I'm always on my phone on Reddit when I could be reading, socialising or finding new hobbies. The mixture of information and entertainment is hard to beat - why read one book on one subject when you can read five articles on five subjects interspersed with funny videos and interesting stories?

I'm rambling a bit but I'm sure this is something others have difficulty with.

[–]jonib0ni89 points90 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Set a fixed daily timespan (e.g. 9-10 am) in which you are allowed to check reddit (as well as other social media). The rest of the day, no.

Easier said than done though. A good help is deleting the apps on your phone and only checking social media on your computer. Makes it easier to control.

[–]MelodyMyst7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

To build on the post and this response. Maybe install some parental control software and give the password and control to that trusted friend.

If they are truly a trusted friend the will be help.

[–]gmos9055 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was going to suggest the opposite. Have Reddit and social apps on the phone, but block everything on the computer. Then when you're on the computer, you're there to work. The set periods you allow yourself your cell phone, you can scroll.

[–]MistahGustitues16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh man. Hit the nail on the head. I've got no complaints on the way my life is going, but if someone had the total number of hours I've spent on reddit as a personal statistic, I would be embarrassed. Tough call overall.

Edit: autocorrect

[–]1dongpal6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

social media is a big one. need a solution for that

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One good tip (though a bit drastic) is to make your phone display only black and white. You'll have to google for directions on your specific type of phone. But it really helped me stop wasting time on the especially egregious subs that are mostly pictures. This has led to picking up my phone less in general.

[–]inertargongas5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The mixture of information and entertainment is hard to beat - why read one book on one subject when you can read five articles on five subjects interspersed with funny videos and interesting stories?

I don't see anybody doing a great job addressing this particular point, so I'll try. It seems you can consciously recognize that you have something of value and you don't want to lose it. So if you cut out Reddit, you have a legitimate fear of missing out on something enriching, like this very thread. That's a legitimate concern, so just "cutting out Reddit" is not the right answer to your situation.

The way I've dealt with this is by recognizing that the posts I value will still be around weeks from now. So, I don't need to be on Reddit every single day, or even every week. I can come on rarely, get the Top posts of the month, and still have seen the most significant tidbits I would have otherwise seen, while spending perhaps 5-10% as much of my time.

Another strategy is of course being judicious with which subs you subscribe to. Start actively parsing through your subscription list and deciding, which of these are just distractions / time wasters & I won't really miss them, versus which have substantive information and discourse that I'd really miss? You're probably in the habit of visiting the front page, and you're not necessarily in the habit of visiting individual subs. Controlling your intake by altering your subscriptions means you don't even need to change any habits! Easy!

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Start actively parsing through your subscription list and deciding, which of these are just distractions / time wasters & I won't really miss them, versus which have substantive information and discourse that I'd really miss?

THIS. In this Internet Age of ours, we suffer from Information Overload. Too much random information sometimes. You must learn to prioritize what is really needed, vs. what is just wanted.

A simple calculation of mine is this: Is what I read going to help me out in my life goals, and how much time will I spend getting that information, and can I be doing something else (better) with that time.

This also begs the questions.... what is your purpose, or life goals? If you can't answer that, you need to step back and really figure out what you are doing with your life. Once you find your purpose, then you manage the time and resources of your life to accomplish the goals needed to finalize your purpose.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Leechblock NG for Firefox (or else). Block all subs that are non-useful permanently, allow yourself for 10-15 minutes per 3 hours for all the useful subs - that's my recipe.

[–]ghosts_of_me4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I bet if i asked you what five useful posts you read yesterday you couldnt tell me.

Its still mindless scanning really unless you write things down.

To make reddit less of a waste, I take notes on all the things that make me go "hmm".

Also unsubscribe from every subreddit that is mostly just images. Every single one of them is a massive fucking waste of time.

[–]NakedAndMasturbating 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Problem is, how do you control your Reddit addiction without losing access to all the useful parts of Reddit, like TRP, science subs and fitness subs?

In a training program I watched once, the guy was teaching how to install new productive habits in your life. At one point he said that if you just focus on installing the good habits, the bad ones will fall out of your life by default.

For example, if you focus on eating a healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you won't be very hungry for snacks or fast food throughout the day.

In my personal case, the reason I use Reddit so much is that I have nothing else going on in my life. If I, or you, want to quit using it so much, we need to actively replace it with a new habit that takes up that time slot, so that we don't sit down doing nothing and think to ourselves "welp I might as well read some Reddit while I'm bored."

An easy replacement for reading Reddit would be reading a book. If you focus on reading a book for 1 hour a day at the beginning of your free time, then that 1 hour will automatically not be spent using Reddit.

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

An easy replacement for reading Reddit would be reading a book.

It comes down to your life purpose and goals.

Goal 1 - How about learning a new language. Goal 2 - Plan to visit the country where that language is spoken

You could be using your free time to better yourself, gaining the skills to make your self more successful in life, love, and career.

So that book you read, would be more productive, if it was a self help book, or something about your industry or job that could get you a raise or a promotion, or a skill to get you a better job...

You should try to use your free time to learn the things and skills that will get you ahead in life, love, and career.

[–]nate-bone2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Great post Used to have addiction with porn, and literally over the course of a year, I became way more attractive to women - must be the extra testosterone and / or placebo effect - my face became more manly, more muscle definition, go figure.

As with social media, deleted Facebook and Instagram off my phone - still active accounts which I can use every so often on my laptop but my days are way better, more productive and meaningful

Haven’t really played video games consistently in years

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

And what did you do with all the free time you gained by stopping the porn and Social Media?

[–]nate-bone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sleeping with women, producing music, working in sales, having fun, enjoying myself and friends / family

[–]Advent-Zero9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you exercise, work, and engage in daily hobbies, why the fuck does it matter if you’re on Reddit??

Time you enjoy is not time wasted.

Problems are only a problem if they are problematic.

Your life is fine. Just enjoy yourself instead of feeling guilty about shit, until a time that you really need to change.

[–]chrisname13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It feels like time wasted because it's mostly mindless, I have a backlog of books I haven't finished, and I could be taking up new hobbies like martial arts, or having new, real-world experiences. It does help me unwind, though, and I guess I can't be doing mentally stimulating activities all the time. I just need to control it a bit better.

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just need to control it a bit better.

Time management.

If you exercise, work, and engage in daily hobbies, why the fuck does it matter if you’re on Reddit??

When you exercise, you gain health and fitness. When you work, you gain money. When you engage in hobbies, if they involve other people, you gain socialization time with other humans. If the hobbies are solo, hopefully you gain some type of accomplishments or achievements.

But what does hours of Reddit browsing get you? Can you seriously recall what you browsed yesterday, last week, or last month? It can be almost as bad a mindless TV watching...

Now, if you manage your time on Reddit, and use and retain the information to help you with your life goals, thats fine. But I would suspect that too many guys spend too many hours, mindlessly getting quick LOLs, when that time could be better spent doing something that actually gets you ahead in your life, love, or career.

Sure, a certain amount of meaningless downtime might be OK... but in all honesty... time is the one thing in life you can never get more of. Some of the most successful people in our lives didn't waste a second.

I read that Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein both thought that sleep was a waste of time... I doubt, even in our age today, that either one of them would have wasted their time on the LOLs that we do today...

[–]SerendipitySociety1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're currently getting notifications from any non-career-related social apps, TURN THEM OFF. I quartered my snapchat use as soon as I turned off all notifications. Two months later, I'm close to deleting the app. Same will go for Facebook, Instagram, and Reddit too.

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

This is taking this dopamine shit too far. Youre always going to be hitting dopamine one way or another.. everyone does. Just dont go to the extreme and do no fap and youll be good. Just by no fapping youre already in the top 10 percent of men.

Now if you are on reddit 12 hours a day thats another story.

[–]TranquilThought0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I bought a Pavlok 2. I'm going to set it up to work with My chrome browser and ITTT and use to opposite mechanism of our dopamine reward system to reinforced better habits. Who knows if it'll work but nothing says don't open that next browser tab like a couple hundred volts.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Delete the reddit app from your phone. Only use it for a set amount of time everyday.

[–]BurnoutRS35 points36 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

We're conditioned to a world of instant gratification. A world that, was created by hardened hands so that maybe future generations wouldnt have to toil so much. So that future generations would be greatful.

Those who were no stranger to the pressure cooker surely felt some sort of amazement at the advent of tinned goods. No longer do we have to boil jars for hours, we can just buy our preserves etc. premade. If youre born into that convenience you have nothing to contrast it with.

Learn the hard way first and you'll appreciate the shortcuts later. I think the reverse is true. I sincerely crave hard work. Its so fucking rewarding. I had to actively condition myself to be this way though. Its something im still working at. Imagine it this way, there are 2 means of gratification/validation. the instantaneous kind that can be had from drugs, porn, social media, modern convenience, television etc. and the long term kind that require planning, goal setting, hard work, setbacks and then eventual acchievement.

If your first exposure to validation/gratification is of the instantaneous kind, if the majority of your reward experiences come from instantaneous sources during your development, then I wholeheartedly believe it will condition you to be less likely to set long term goals and fulfill them.

Think back to days spent in class and the obstinant kid saying "why the fuck would I do all that when I can just"

and fuck man im not trying to condemn laziness. Laziness is a survival mechanism. It's your brain being like "how can I get the things I need whike consuming the least amount of resources? How can I be more efficient in keeping myself alive. The drive to make things easier, faster, better so that we can do more, the desire for exponential growth. Therez some great shit thats come from that.

If you really want to be successful in life I think its crucial to identify where you derive validation from. Ever notice how people who are more insecure tend to be more into instantaneous sources of validation. Thats probably a major contributing factor to anxiety rates. If you never learn to be ok with the long term validation process, to sit cool as a cucumber while you build your empire, then you never learn to be patient, delay gratification or work towards a bigger payoff. In some ways its like the reward from that long term goal paying off tides you over a lot longer than the fleeting high of a porn binge or something similar.

Ultimately this is a crucial point in human development. Never before have we bombarded ourselves with more stimuli than we do now. People are taking notice of the effects its having. We're playing part in a big social experiment right now. It's called "how many fucking beeps and whistles can we fit up in this bitch before people's brains melt". The fact we're even discussing this right now is proof positive that our collective understanding of the human condition is growing.

[–]OperatorDanger6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's scary really that no one seems to be aware of it, especially what your wrote towards the end. I'm definitely a victim but I'm totally aware of it, and it's rather concerning that others arent aware

[–]BurnoutRS6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think more people are aware than you would think. Even people that I would consider to be on the lower end of the conscientousness scale and generally lacking in sense compared to tthe rest of the population seem to have some level of awareness of how theyve been effected by addiction.

Its really just the way things have always been. There are people who see that there are rules to be followed, and there are people that understand those rules were made by other people. Wolves and sheep essentially. Some people think theyre powerless to change their lives, some think theyre victims of circumstance

What it really boils down to is what you do with that awareness. are you setting timers on your phone to limit the time you spend engaging in behaviours you deem extraneous to your mission? are you doing your best to disengage from social media etc.? Worry about your own awareness and making choices to make your life better. People will eventually take notice. The ones that have that same awareness we're talking about might approach you, some friends might ask your advice, the worthy ones will actually follow your example.

Some people will never get it. The best you can do is prevent them from bringing you down. You think you can change the world? First try changing yourself

[–]OperatorDanger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting way of thinking, I'd be all over making a decent change if I didn't have a psychological barrier that I've pretty much set myself, I don't have that 'goal' so I don't feel any reason to do anything. Not looking for advice I'm just observing my myself as it were

[–]mwobuddy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ultimately this is a crucial point in human development. Never before have we bombarded ourselves with more stimuli than we do now. People are taking notice of the effects its having. We're playing part in a big social experiment right now. It's called "how many fucking beeps and whistles can we fit up in this bitch before people's brains melt". The fact we're even discussing this right now is proof positive that our collective understanding of the human condition is growing.

There's also a subculture of "why work so hard, why educate yourself, don't be a nerd", etc.

Many founding fathers of the U.S. were politically or militarily active from 16 on. Alexander the great ruling a country at 20. Of course he had advisers. Nevertheless, people grew into adulthood quickly in the 'good old days'. I think there's also a consequence of the persistent social messages creating a divide between child (17) and adult (18). Even if people become 18-22 we still call them 'kids', like 'college kids'. Culturally, we push messages of 'you can be just a kid until you're out of college, and teens are really, really irresponsible and can't do any better and shouldn't be expected to do any better'.

Its not just the gratification outlets like social media and games and everything else. Its the one-two punch of this combined with the cultural messages saying very, very clearly to people 'if you're a teen, you're a dumbass kid. Even if you're in college, you're still a dumbass'.

True. People are still dumbasses into their 40's as well. But we can't grow if we don't expect better of ourselves or others. Telling people, in a form, that its 'okay' for them to not try developing because 'let them be kids', makes things worse, not better.

[–]BurnoutRS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I distinctly remember bargaining with myself as a teenager. Having some internal conflict because I knew I should be doing something productive but I spent most of my time fucking off with my friends. The conversation went something like "we have all the time int he world to decide who we want to be, after highschool theres college. we took elementary way to seriously and missed a lot of chances to fuck around. All the adults tell me not to worry"

That last line hits me. All the adults told me I had plenty of time and that I shouldnt be worrying. Im beyond convinced that worrying was the best damn thing I could have been doing at the time. I was unconsciously assessing my own inadequaecies and its the pursuit and fleshing out of ideas pertaining to why I might be feeling so distressed that led me towards TRP

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's called "how many fucking beeps and whistles can we fit up in this bitch before people's brains melt".

In particular, how can we apply the Shannon Limit to psychology, what is the maximum amount of noise the human brain can handle before critical failure?

It's a fascinating conversation, even if its conclusions leave us with some uncomfortable truths.

[–]BurnoutRS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

ok so if Im understanding this correctly we're kind of talking about redundancy in a system. That, essentially, the less information we have to parse through at any point in time, the more accurately and efficiently we can utilize that information. Im reminded of the gorilla suit experiment where the participants watch a video of a basketball team running drills and they have to count the number of passes. Then at the end its revealed there was a gorilla on screen and I believe none of the participants noticed.

Im by no means a conspiracy theorist, I merely acknowledge my own propensity for malice and recognize the opportunity for it where it exists. Couple that notion with the idea that Im human, Im not unique and I can reasonably extrapolate based on my own behaviours and drives, what the motivation of another person may be. It stands to reason that theres a great deal to be gained from cranking up the gain on the signal feed of societal noise. provided you have some good earplugs. The more we clog up the channels that impart value and virtue onto our citizens, the less those people can make of themselves, the less power they can secure for themselves, the more thats free to be take. by the aforementioned parties with good earplugs

[–]greenlittleman0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

But there is one thing you missing. Why the people want to become successful at all? Because long term success will produce exactly same hormones which is produced by instant validation. There is no real "addiction" part in all of this - we are bio-machines from the start and we wouldn't do anything what isn't programmed in us biologically in some way or other.

And why being successful is better than to get all the same things easier way? Because it will make you higher in social pyramid that is all. The only real difference is what a successful person will communicate with unsuccessful then former would have much more power. But at the end all of this doesn't really matter - we all will die eventually.

Also there are different people in terms of how their brain feels gratification for their actions. There are people who have low "feels good" threshold - it means they will feel exactly same things either they are earned their first billion or become one of the strongest in some MMORPG. Is there real reason to force themselves to work hard to get something they already can have without any efforts? This is why most people don't make efforts to become successful and you can't blame them for that - this is natural.

[–]BurnoutRS0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I disagree with this. The endgame of survival is reproduction. Chances of reproductive success increase with copulation. The greater a success you are in this life, the more resources you can aqquire that can theoretically be put towards that purpose.

We arent necessarily programmed to seek rewarding things so much as that which is beneficial to our biological imperative is seen as inherently rewarding. There are easily demonstrable biological constants like the fact that no matter what your favourite food may be, we all crave salty and sweet food because carbohydrates and electrolytes are essential to our survival. surviving is essential to reproduction.

You can feel the same spike of validation from social media that you may feel from an irl interaction. It doesnt make a bit of difference when you compare the potential impact of meeting or interacting with a real person vs doing so online. You can live in squalor and have a palace of bullshit on some video game but is it really the same?

The same mechanism that drives us towards things we need to survive, can also be tricked/hijacked by other stimuli. Such as the idea of the rats pressing the button to dispense cocaine rather than the one that dispenses food. This says to me that we should be actively aware of these biological potentials. That we can wire ourselves to derive enjoyment and fulfillment from things that can incite a positive feedback loop within our lives, things that will become assets to us. Or we can wire ourselves to derive enjoyment from liabilities. Video games are a time suck that can be made profitable under similar circumstances to the chance of you becoming a major rockstar. Personally Im a musician and I gave up video games long ago because I would rather put my time into making music. Im not shitting on videogames, Im just saying decide who you want to become and put time and effort into being that. Dont let yourself be complacent jacking off endlessly to porn if you know deep doen you really desire to fuck girls irl. Just because we derive similar pleasure from a wide variety of activitied doesnt make them all equal

[–]greenlittleman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Evolution is blind - it doesn't work in a way "all for survival/reproduction" it is work in a way "just do things randomly (mostly) and what survived (+reproduced) that survived (+reproduced)".

What I tried to say isn't what those different ways of having enjoyment is equal. What I said is what there isn't so big difference in subjective happiness between a person who lives ordinary life and then gets "bonus" enjoyment from easy sources and a person who lives successful life and gets similar level of enjoyment from real life. And, as I said, later person will have more social power and if those two will interact IRL then former would feel himself like a loser because his brain will compare their objective social position. But sacrificing all your free time to get a little higher social status/money can make a person less satisfied with his life, because he wouldn't even have a time to get fast validation and long term validation could be just not enough for him. This is why there are a lot of suicides among people of "a little above average class". Also when a person "got anything he wanted and dreamed of" and find out that he feels enjoyment not much more than he did by playing games and watching porn (and this wouldn't make him "happy") it could make him to start drugs - this is why (one of the reasons at least) a lot of wealthy and super successful people (like top musicians or actors) often become drug addicts.

[–]TimPartendale92 points93 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

You discussed porn and videos games but I think you missed an opportunity to talk about a HUGE one: social media.

Everyone my age is fixated to their phones as they walk, eat, shit, drive, and sleep. The people who post and repost photos for likes and attention - getting their reward as the numbers soar. In addition to those who waste hours on reddit seeking karma or sending a nauseating stream of snapchats.

Some folks earn 6+ figures from social media so there are exceptions. But most people use it in excess to the point where it hinders interpersonal relationships and productivity.

[–]1dondraper 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Ah, great point. I was actually going to write about that, but forgot. Will update post.

[–]TimPartendale4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No problem, it’s a solid post. I was just thinking that there had to be more examples out there.

[–]mrkica0070 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Please do, that would be interesting!

[–]UshankaDalek 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

While you're updating your post--you messed up the formatting of the numbers in "Behavioral Addiction" so that it goes 1, 2, 3, 1. Reddit automatically makes the numbers go in sequence, so missing the space after "3." made it restart at 1.

[–]red_matrix0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd love to hear your thoughts on social media.

[–]Randallsixx134 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I now eat most meals by myself. My family cannot seem to put the infernal phones down to engage in meatspace conversations. This addiction is more poisonous than most people realize. I was looking forward to an EMP strike from North Korea, just to get some good conversation. Thanks, Trump. :/

[–]whereTheBoysKeepItG78 points79 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’m not even gonna read this post. It’s embarrassing. I read the first few lines and already know I’m being called out for my phone addiction. And I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet. I’m gonna get off Reddit and get the day started. Thank you.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear22210 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best comment.

[–]elbadgero0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have my phone to-hand most of my waking hours and it lies next to me when I sleep. I recognise my tech addiction and have come off FB and IG although I now see my reddit use increasing. I think having my phone away from my as much as possible is a start and using it in a focused rather than mindless/default way. So do I need it use it for a particular purpose? OK do that but nothing else rather than scroll aimlessly consuming info.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Nice post.

Ever notice how so many strategies employed against us take advantage of built in survival instincts?

We crave sweets because once we foraged and needed positive feedback the rate event we found nutrient dense food like honey. Now they have us obese and diabetic to sell cereal and soda.

Men's natural protective instinct towards women is used to enslave men as service men to the fem imperative

Porn well covered here. Your brain thinks these pornhub bitches are * real*

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ever notice how so many strategies employed against us take advantage of built in survival instincts?

This exactly.

Not so long ago, I gave it a lot of thoughts, "why addictions exist" and what are they actually.

Babies get addicted to the mother, so they cry when she leaves. The ones who didn't cry were left behind.

Also: breast milk has carbs. Then you "man up" and you eat carbs no more, only fat and meat. This is where we're coming from.

Also - wikipedia "Nazirite". Guess what, biblical Samson didn't drink alcohol and didn't eat grapes.

Coincidence?

Then, the "übermensch" aka "Nazists". Of course, the official narrative about the genesis of this name was different. But... was Hitler balls deep in the kaballah or wasn't? Were they looking for the holy grail or was that just Indiana Jones movie? Did they raise prices of alcohol and tobacco when they started ruling Germany, was that a fact?

Then they loose the war with the whole world. Then, rockets, "Project Fishbowl", etc, then 1960 and suddenly "animal fat is bad, cholesterol is bad", congenital heart disease and diabetes skyrocket like fuck, but nobody cares because carbs GAVE ME GOOD FEELZ.

Cheap alcohol, cheap sugar, free porn over the internet. No more Nazirites, no more Nazis.

No übermensch to create any kind of threat to the ruling class.

They will ban this subreddit and block u/redpillschool 's payment system over trp.red someday, I bet my ass they will. Those times are coming sooner than later.

The deal is, when you fast, when you abstain from addictive activities, you do a lot of shit (I think I don't have to tell you that, but we do have an audience here). Then, you get that feeling of superiority over fat fucks, at least I do (currently fasting since 42 hours).

You are a threat.

But, this threat may be reduced to minimum using your own built-in mechanisms of survival.

The end.

[–]NoSurrender940 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just my opinion but that last sentence made me think. Does your brain really think pixels are the real thing or is it the power of your own belief. You want to believe the porn is real and that’s what gets you off. It would be weird wanking over pixels.

I’ve heard that oh should visualise your goals and obviously you should always believe you’re capable of them. Maybe this is the same kind of thing.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Does your brain really think pixels are the real thing or is it the power of your own belief

Mate, watch LCD screen in super slow motion to understand, that those pixels aren't even lit for the whole time.

This is all fakery.

I will use internet to exchange and spread information, to do business, to earn money. But the picture I see on the screen, it doesn't even exist. It never did.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

if I had to guess, the images produce responses in your body that cant tell the difference

[–]DoubleShine20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I stumbled upon this while browsing the new section for porn. You caught my eye, I read through the post and immediately stopped. Deleted the pics and gifs I had saved prior. There's multiple layers to porn and the damage it does to your psyche and body but that doesn't matter. I'll quit jerking off to god damn pixels. Cold turkey. No more of that BS. Thank you for the post.

[–]ntc199511 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Where is alcohol and smoking ?

[–]mwobuddy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you, you just reminded me I need to go smoke.

[–]Cmdrj-nice17 points18 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

What about sugary food and drinks that why a lot of people are obese. I feel like the sub doesn't talk much about sugar the stuff is as bad as cocaine

[–]ThrowMe27278 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, this post kinda woke me up.

[–]Rognin5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your behavioral addiction literally rewires your brain physiologically. As the positive feedback loop continues to reinforce the addiction, more dopamine receptors are formed to accommodate the increased levels of the neurotransmitter.

Once the amount of receptors has been increased, the amount of dopamine needed to maintain homeostasis (or the feeling of "normal") is also increased so once you take away that reinforcer you also take away that excess dopamine in the reward pathways. This is why you may continue to engage in the addictive behavior when it is no longer “fun” or “pleasurable.” We need to fuel the brain's constant need of dopamine in order to feel “normal.” As your neural circuits become increasingly desensitized to the stimulus, you’ll want to engage in the behavior more while liking it less.

Could this also (in part) explain the CC and the excess Oxytocin women get from intimacy? And their constant pursuit of it?

[–]AcrossHallowedGround2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd be surprised if it didn't factor in.

[–]clonegreen13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've found it incredibly useful to go off the grid and even fasting for long periods.

For work I need my internet access but weekends ill cut it off and avoid food, choosing only to drink water, exercise and read.

It has profound effects on time management and overall awareness. You begin to notice odd things in other humans.

[–]ReefaShark2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So you don’t eat anything over the weekends or what? Ive been intermittent fasting with a 3-6 hour window every day for a few months now and I don’t feel more focused or anything, but not worrying about any food until I get home in the afternoon has increased my efficiency for sure.

[–]room_30312 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The atrocious masculinity genocide "ADD"/"ADHD" lie sold to every boy and boy's parents over the last 30 years is the worst off all these, Big pharma has made trillions by drugging kids and teens with Adderall/Dexamphetamine, addicting them and further ostracizing males in society, made possible by making up or taking normal behaviors of growing males (hyper-active) and adding them to the DSM-5.

Grown adults are now continuing with the lie they were sold without any further critical thinking (with the information easily available today) and taking the drug in college as a slave to financing Pfizer and the like, not knowing that apart from the known and unknown health affects, thier performance at study and testing is worse too.

[–]1Ill_Will75 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Another big addiction these days is fuckin tv/netflix shows. They pump out new shows and seasons faster than ever. People always tell me, you gotta watch walking dead or game of thrones or stranger things or this or that. who the hell has time to consume all that shit?

[–]1dondraper 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

who the hell has time to consume all that shit?

People who have nothing better to do with their lives.

[–]1Ill_Will71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even so. They make so much content that even if you devoted all the time possible you had, you could never "catch up." Another way to chase the dragon i suppose

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm 29 and I've wasted my teens and 20s to porn and video games. Now I'm virgin, broke and unemployed.

[–]jevjake7874 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

At least you realized it at 29 and not 49.

[–]Iwannachokekatie-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So it's not that you're short. You're just a loser.

[–]clonegreen2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont like giving advice for things like this since we are all different but I've found limiting carbs, sugar, stimulants, fried foods and processed foods eases the transition.

Sometimes ill fast for up to 5 days and still hit the gym but I had a steady diet for at least a week before

[–]DeMoNzIx3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't have a problem with any of the ones you listed like porn or video games, but I definitely have a music addiction. I listen to it while doing homework, driving, at the gym, walking to/from classes on campus and basically every chance I get. I don't think its an hindrance because its not limiting my life in any way that I know of. What do you guys think?

[–]OperatorDanger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I suppose if you'd rather listen to music than do something productive perhaps it's can be detrimental but it sounds like you just like listening to music a lot. Like me! Turn it into a hobby, start playing music that you like

[–]Taidaishar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I could see an instance where wearing headphones all the time would make you appear less accessible, and so you'd have fewer interactions with people. I sometimes wear headphones at work even when I'm not listening to anything just to discourage people from talking to me.

[–]shadowdragoon925 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

As someone who is extremely addicted to video games, one in particular actually, and has been ruining my life because of it, any tips on finding a worthwhile goal to pursue for myself? To me that is the biggest issue I have... And perhaps off topic but would appreciate an answer, from lurking in this subreddit I have found the advice to be quite enlightening, but mostly applicable to men with prior sexual experience. As someone who is (I’ve been told on numerous occasions by numerous sources, as well as moderate success at matching whilst remaining picky on tinder) fairly good looking, tall (6’2), and in general fit shape (nothing massive, just far from fat), but yet has literally 0 sexual experiences, how am I to proceed with the application of the majority of these proposed solutions?

-cordially, an avid supporter of this sub

[–]HopelessDistraction2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Have you ever had any previous hobbies or things you were good at growing up? For me it was music. I took guitar, piano, and drum lessons as a kid. I got in a few bands, played a bit, but then once I moved out I could not longer play drums anymore and had to shift my goals elsewhere. I chose education and my career (for now - I know there should be more than that). So if you are working, maybe focus on that a bit more. Ask your boss if there is anything you can do to be more valuable to the company. Leverage your skills. Put your competition to shame.

Depending on how old you are, it seems that maturity which comes from life experiences will help you to develop the social skills needed to interact successfully with women. You say you’re using tinder, so what’s stopping you from engaging with those women you’re matching with?

Finding your way in life seems daunting, but some advice I can give is that if a hobby or goal isn’t automatically appealing to you, instantly put it on the back burner and try something else. The perspective you gain from new things may help ignite passion for previously attempted things.

[–]shadowdragoon921 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

First, thank you for the advice and the reply, finding a hobby outside of gaming is something I should get to doing, although previously I’ve enjoyed a variety of sports, most recently rock climbing (which is how I ended up getting pretty fit, instead of just thin)

Secondly, to answer your questions, due to certain Visa constraints I am unable to work in the country I reside in as for my age, I am currently 18, close to 19, although I will soon go and work over the summer break in another country.

As for what has stopped me from engaging with my tinder matches, it depends on what you define as engaging. In terms of conversation, I have made an attempt to come in contact with most of them, with varying degrees of success, but I am not particularly good at starting/upholding mundane conversation, therefore it soon stops after a reply along the lines of ‘haha yeah’.

If you meant actually meeting up with them I haven’t no, and a big part of this I believe stems from my inexperience in interacting with women, I do not know what to do, and even if I did, I would not know the how to do it well (never kissed let alone anything else) thus creating a huge confidence issue in that sense. Which is ironic considering I have quite the ego in pretty much every other field, so much so that some may even consider it a superiority complex.

One last thing, I am introverted, which may play a role in my lack of success in the field of seduction, although I have been completely disillusioned at the prospect of LTRs due to personal experiences with women, so there’s that at least

[–]HopelessDistraction-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Interaction with people is one of those concepts that just requires experience. Have you ever watched Good Will Hunting? Basically the entire theme of the movie is to gain life experience. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. It may help you.

[–]adamska4 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

You need to watch it again if you think that's the entire theme, lmao, way to butcher an amazing film.

[–]HopelessDistraction 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Go fuck yourself. What are you contributing to this conversation you vehemently disgusting animal?

[–]inferno12341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lift (min 2x per week, up to 6x), approach women and lay off the video games. I started with 5 approaches per day. Takes zero time, gets you pumped and learns you to deal with rejection. Read the sidebar.

Tinder is great but you need some real life experience, mostly in approaches for it to be a good medium imo.

Edit: to clarify, your worthwhile goal is to get laid, off the videogames and in undeniably great shape. Should keep you busy for a while, and meanwhile I don't know where you are in life but career, business succes and/or education belong on this list as well, it's just a bit less suited for one size fits all advice. Work on excelling in whatever you do, in addition to the above mentioned physical, mental and sexual goals

[–]fitzrhapsody0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to socialize with some of my best friends from high school over a few games of Halo 3 back in the day. I was new to my city and worked 2nd shifts and lots of overnight shifts, so it was tough to meet people, hence why kicking back with them a couple night a week was mentally helpful for me to not feel lonely and crazy. A good first step for me to be play fewer games and be more productive with my time was to lift a BUNCH before meeting up with my friends to play online. That way my muscles were at least recovering while I sat there. Depending on what kind of exercise you do, you can wear yourself out to the point where your body needs rest, and doing that first is a good way to at least not be completely "wasting" your time while playing.

I know everyone else here will insist you quit cold turkey, but I know it can be tough. So try that as a first step if you're having trouble. You might even get to the point where you enjoy exercising so much and liking how you feel, you won't be compelled to play after some time. Exercise is just one way to start weaning off.

[–]T1mmyGolden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

try installing a program limiting software on your PC, make it password protected (get a friend to input it), that way you can limit your gaming time per day, even cancelling out certain blocks of time such as past midnight. Homeguard is one option, as it Kaspersky internet security.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A derivative of porn is online sex chatting. I can tell you that it had great effect on my teenager brain 7 years ago (15, 22 now). I am battling this awful state I've gotten myself into.

No matter how much you workout, have long term successes, or anything in between, if your brain is conditioned to go online for an hour to search and find a woman to jack off on cam to, you (I) have a problem.

What helps is objectively learning about addiction. Not just reading posts, but reading books about it. Reading psyhological books about the way brain works. It helps a lot.

Any kind of advice from anyone that has been in the same/similar boat would be helpful.

[–]lord-denning2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a very important post. Print it out, stick it on your wall, don’t feel embarrassed if anyone sees it. For people who need a deep seated understanding of why they need to change (i.e. many of the logicians perusing this sub) these ideas are cogently presented and fully formed. Some of the earliest iterations of this advice required hours of reading or watching YouTube. Here it is in pill form (heh).

[–]dotwav2mpfree2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Phil Zimbardo - The Demise of Guys. This has been well laid out by him. Truly tragic what porn and videogames have done to my generation. And to think my dad was right all those years ago saying they shouldn't be allowed. Cheers to those of us that can actually create something of value. Keep your dick in a vice.

[–]yourfatherx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So true. Thank you for posting this.

In my opinion, perfect discipline is a bit elusive though. You need to find a happy medium where you can still engage in activities, while acknowledging the addictiveness of them.

To this day I find this incredibly difficult. But it beats the alternative of either living in a self-imposed box of do's and don't's, or a life that is consumed by addictive activities.

To find the sweet spot, is to live a life of moderation. Which is always easier said than done.

[–]toohuman932 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The irony that you posted this on an addicting website, lol.

You're 100% correct though. I would like to add one thing. Sex can be an addiction. If you hit all of those social hierarchy goals, you'd basically just be trading porn for sex. One addiction for another. Except the sex could lead to babies and/or stds.

What's my point? Don't take sex so seriously! I think that's the main issue with TRP

[–]-RaisedByWolves-2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m under 25 and I don’t use social media. Does that mean I have no social status? I don’t want to admit the fact that I think a lack of social media presence is kind of a big deal for women. Either way, I don’t use Instagram and I wouldn’t even know how to start getting followers (although I do a lot of cool shit in my life, I.e. travelling, owning a business, constantly seeking new and exciting experience).

[–]ProductivityMonster2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The biggest thing I've found is that there needs to be some outlet for your vices. Yes, they're all bad in excess, but most of us can't be robots 100% of the time or else we'll go crazy. As long as you keep it in moderation and only do it occasionally, you'll be fine. But be sure to track your frequency and stick to your limits or else you can in fact fall down a deep, dark path of addiction (which the corporations would love to happen to you so they can take all your money, dignity, and humanity).

[–]azonian912 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This one really hit home. I’m still thinking about this post 6 hrs later. Thank you OP.

this should be side barred.

[–]T_DPsychiatrist5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Finally. a post that is more than "look how alpha I am", or "now that I am red pill I figured this out"

Good stuff, thank you...I think this will help many self reflect, and become better men. Especially the part where you discuss breaking the cycle with concrete exercises.

[–]Daspker7801 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Quality post. thanks for the insight. I like reading about the psychology of the brain, it helps me to understand what hurdles hold me back and what I can do to overcome them.

[–]Mektige1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is everything I've need to read for too long. Thank you.

Video game reward addiction... Time to kill it.

[–]Fun2badult1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This thing just described my life. Fuck.

[–]HappyScribe1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wonder if there's a way to leverage this? So you become addicted to learning something, flirting, meditating, going to the gym?

[–]kasper1381 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This will simply never go away and only get worse. Creators of Facebook have even said this is exactly what they take advantage of. Cell phones made it 34295873245 times worse. Then you have loot crates, pay to win games. The only solution is to pull a Snake Plissken and EMP the planet.

[–]OperatorDanger1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm definitely concerned about video game addiction, I'm fully aware of exactly what's going on outlined in this post and occasionally I'll think about quitting and getting my fucking life in order but it's just so damn difficult. Not to mention I bet I'd replace it with another un producttove activity that leaves me in my room, like watching TV or some shit

[–]newName5434561 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can replace useless but rewarding behavior, with rewarding but actually useful behavior, like learning to play an instrument or pumping iron.

[–]late2theparty271 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've always been aware of the detrimental effects on a person that video games can have. Yet this was never enough for me to give up the hobby. My PS4 eventually broke down and even though I have the money to fix it, I've just abstained from doing so because I'm more obsessed with the fact that the rewards are pointless now then I was when my system was working. I love video games but they sure did take up the better part of my 20's and now I'm once or twice a month player. Shit is a major time drain with no substantial reward.

[–]Catteb121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I realised this a few weeks ago, I've been trying to get other hobbies and leave gaming and social media, as I am completly addicted! Baby steps, but I think I am making progress :)

[–]Antideck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just gave you some sweet sweeet dopamine with an upvote. Nice post

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I briefly skimmed this post but didn’t see one of my biggest behavioral addictions. Smoking weed. I have had a huge problem with it for months.

[–]btharmony1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post. Informative, accurate and straight to the point.

I struggle with these vices myself know that the only way to better myself is to quit all together, because I have a severely addictive personality.

Thanks for the post.

[–]AriesAsF1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fantastic post man. A much appreciated reminder.

[–]Appex11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A big behavioral addiction that many people have is music. Sure music can be good, but mindlessly listening to music all day long that many people do these days is as bad as any other addiction imo.

[–]Taxus_Calyx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Umm, you left out alcohol, tobacco, and a shit ton of drugs.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't watch porn, play video games or use social media much at all, however I do have addiction problems when it comes to sex, recreational drugs and gambling. I don't think you will find many people who don't have some sort of addiction. I think it is about managing your addictions as best you can and staying functioning. Maybe that's just me justifying my vices

[–]SgtBrutalisk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm surprised you didn't mention food, the addiction to which produces actual bodily and societal harm. People actually die due to obesity, diabetes and coronary diseases caused by food addiction compared to people cooped up in their tiny rooms grinding experience levels in Fortnite, Call of Duty or Sims. By the way, notice how every single video game nowadays has RPG elements, such as XP levels? If you're going to mention gaming addiction you should go into the nitty gritty and explain how it occurs rather than just stating it's "sad and desperate".

[–]Nightwingx71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm going to share my own issue because it wasn't listed here and I feel it's as detrimental as the others; binge eating/ overeating / stress eating.

I diet and eat extremely healthy and have been hitting the gym often;consistently for months. I have a strict goal And a strategic life plan. I don't game, watch porn or have social media. However there's days where I can merely binge and eat 5000 calories and immediately hate myself and lose control. It's frightening because I feel as if I can't control myself. I'll make sure and affirm myself against such actions and I recognize it's a detrimental activity yet as you said, my logical mind is overwhelmed by this shit. I've got all sorts of junk food out of my house and move my funds immediately into a side savings so I don't have money in the account to tempt myself. It's just demoralizing because of how much progress ive made with my gains. One month I have a six pack then only two weeks later and ive gained ten pounds. Every day is a challenge. I'm going to try writing down these feelings and challenge myself to stay committed because for me this is my only Inhibition. I don't drink or do drugs; I work two jobs diligently. Reddit is the only source of social media I use.

Thank you for this post. I'm going to hold myself accountable. No more tomorrow or the next day. I've gotta stay strong to rewire my brain otherwise I'm never going to reach the goals I've set for myself. It's as fucking simple as that. It's just infuriating that I say this and then hours later find myself binging like a fucking piece of shit. I can't keep repeating this cycle. It's not a cycle for one hungering for a path of success.

The one constant now is the gym. That's my stress relief and my haven. I need to lean on that instead of food

[–]mrnaizguy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm actually addicted to promiscous fucking aka the thing many men in this sub aspire to do. And I tell you it's not that pleasurable. I'm constantly adding new plates and dropping old one's since after fucking a girl once or twice the stimulation from sex with her drops no matter how amazing she is and I crave for a new one. And even if I like her a lot and want to be with her my damaged brain hinders me from that since I'll reach a point where I can't even get hard with her and get ZERO aroused no matter how beautiful and sweet she is. But then when I conquer a new girl I'm excited again and my dick is hard as a rock...until I fucked her a few times and the cycle repeats itself. This is so tiring. I didn't used to be like this and I don't know what to do about it. I don't even enjoy it anymore but the crave keeps me from stopping. I even neglect my friends and my career for this shit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. Staying off porn makes me a better, cooler and more confident Guy. When I relapsed, my game turned weak. I'm 12 days clean now, my best is 51 days. I plan to beat this shit.

[–]veryhornyretard-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Jesus fuck you guys are so gay

[–]faceless31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Second weak time is when you in positive success mood. You think "what happen if i do this once, i successful man, i deserve this". Just remember this path goes to back dark time.

[–]CapitaineCapitalisme 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

GREAT post OP. Any books you'd recommend on the subject?

[–]showerdudes91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ill strongly recommend "The slight edge" on this subject.

[–]ThrowsSharksAtBirds0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So where does watching series/movies on Netflix falls here? That is a typical behavioural addiction too.

As soon any activity with high entertainment becomes a burden for you and impacts your quality of life, that is the moment you should start breaking down. When porn is a routine in your daily life, then either you're a porn star or you're very addicted to it. Same goes for video games. I guess unless you're a 'professional' gamer, movie star or porn star, none of this should be a life time goal.

[–]Throwaway_52520 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I'm currently addicted to strip clubs. I go there for the conversation primarily, but I'm sure another part of it is the dopamine rush of having tits and ass everywhere you look. Not to mention how easy it is to get swept up into heavy drinking from that scene.

[–]joner8880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This post really got to me I've had some minor struggles in my life during the last 3 years . I used to smoke a lot but I quit and started lifting weights which is now a huge part of my life. My new addiction after smoking became porn I've pretty much watched it every other day since I was 14 or 15 (just turned 20 a couple of weeks ago) I've really tried to quit these last 6 months and my longest streaks have been around 6-10 days until I've relapsed. I think I need to find some other thing to work on cause lifting only takes away about 2-3 hours of my day.

[–]AwkwardEmpath0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Alcohol is keeping me from progressing and actually un doing months of good habit forming. I feel powerless to it, I can go 1 or 2 days without wanting to drink and then it really starts reeling me in.

Realizing this only makes me want to drink more. Fuck.

[–]1dondraper 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

If it’s really harming your life that badly, you might want to get therapy. Alcoholism is a dangerous hole to fall into.

[–]Cabbletitties0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This post sort of relates to a good book, The Power Of Now. You should check it out.

[–]TheElite37400 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post, I’d like to see one on drug addictions.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What happens when your job is making videos games? Is it still addiction? Because i play a lot of videos games for inspiration when working with my team on few projects / game prototypes and gameplay concepts..

[–]wellington325 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

i find it very hard to stop porn, someone help me

[–]dsfargeg0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Some addictions run deeper than others.

In the span of the past 2 years I was able to quit smoking effortlessly, lose 70 lbs relatively easily (though I still have ~15 to go), eat healthy instinctively - but the porn I can't seem to quit. I realized it gave me PIED so it was my plan to quit cold turkey May 1st.

Thank you for the reminder and motivation.

[–]BrownLeatherShoe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can not agree more with the porn part. After going through a 2 year dry spell and only using porn. Damn it makes it hard to cum with a real woman. Although it did enable great stamina (sarcasm)

[–]navysealen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What do you think about using reddit on real downtime like public transport as i dont use a car.

As a sidenote, what do you guys think about listening to music, is this a bad addiction?

[–]Schhwing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Appreciate the post as it’s a subject I’m really in to. I’ve been off social media for over a year (still have messenger though) because I realised how much time I wasted on it. Mostly just reading other people’s stories. Research has proven that it hurts your psychology because you compare your life (subconsciously or consciously) with those that you visually see. When you are looking into Dan Bilzerians life, it makes yours look crappy. Add to that the fact that people only post the highlights of their life, it gives a skewed version of how much fun everyone else is having. Focus on improving your life, not being a jealous bystander of someone else’s.

[–]mwobuddy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

stardusk/thinkingape is a man in his late 30 or perhaps 40's now, who plays video games and makes mgtow content.

[–]KillaJewels0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know I’m late in this, but I had to read this again and let it set in before I comment. I like what you said about easily getting influenced by addictions/instant gratification if you don’t have firm goals in life. I think we generally have an idea of what our priorities in life are, which really ties into fundamental values and goals — both being drivers of your behavior. Where a lot of us fall short is clearly identifying what those are and what must be done to satisfy those requirements. This is key for setting the direction of your behavior; otherwise it’s fairly easy to go off-course. This ties into frame. Be active, not reactive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its hard to give up what you enjoy with nothing to look forward to.

[–]byom-fakemail-de0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

rule: "the dose makes the toxin" (Paracelsus)

[–]CaptainBW0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Social media is not necessary for social status if you’re under 25. That’s male hamstering. I’m low 20s, and when people ask me why I don’t have a Twitter/instagram/snap I respond with something like “Well, I’m not a teenage girl. I don’t really care about that stuff.” Hasn’t failed or hindered me yet.

[–]Redjatis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of the most important things, and the thing I struggle the most with is this. When you want to cut out a habit, or in this case a behavior, in order to increase your chances at success you need to replace it with a different behavior.

Obviously through the red pill we know what behaviors and habits we want to add into our life. Lifting, eating right, pursuing goals ect...

The problem I face is that even when I implement those things, I find myself with a lot of free time. I also find myself very often needing to wind down or relax. For me video games fit both of these categories.

Maybe it is that I'm not achieving levels of dopamine when I don't game, and I'm starving for it? Or maybe it is that I have gamed for so long that I do not know how to relax or wind down without it.

Any suggestions for something to fill this space? End of the work day, stressed as all hell. How do you pass the time in a manner that satisfies you, but doesn't leave your mind still looking for that next goal, even after you shut the game down. Or days where you've knocked everything off your check list and you have some time available. I think the latter is easier because if your not exausted you can invest your time in lots of thing, reading, writing, practicing a skill.

I think it comes down to the moments in time where I find myself exhausted that I end up turning a game on, which isn't a problem. The problem is my motivation the next day has drastically changed, because those in game goals or desires are still prevalent.

inb4 editing.

[–]ChivaLegend0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m 23 and deleted all my social media accounts since January. I intend to get back on once I have productive life going aka doing these things consistently (lifting,meditating,reading, REAL LIFE socializing, pursuing hobbies). I am far from where I want to be, but I will get there quicker by eliminating sources where I spent hours mindlessly scrolling.

[–]ImportantMechanic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jack Donovan said on "the way of men" how things like watching football and play video games are basically outlets to manage your masculine energy. I agree with him by a lot because it explains how men are largely attracted to competitive esports and how they force "gamers gender diversity" by counting shit like Candy Crush and walking simulators like "Gone Home" as video games. The video games that require systematic training and practice to get good at them like esports are dominated by men for a reason.

The larger message would be: Pay attention to what activities suck your masculine energy up. Video games are for when you cannot go outdoors, porn should be on the case when you just feel horny and out of options of sticking one in a pussy. Both aren't meant to be long term crutches to keep being shy and socially inept.

Purely anecdotal but from the day I stopped watching porn to fap I get mildly aroused by checking out chicks even on the bus stop. It's like my libido is re-calibrating. I still fap I just use my fantasy imagining myself fucking a chick hard instead of being a voyeur of "pornstar no. #124234". Manson's "masturbation diet" had some truth in it.

[–]Vargurr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

RIP account deleted and took the post with him.

[–]ntc1995-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You have to be joking right ? So it’s best to completely quit video games ? You do realize that, all the things you are doing in real life like doing taxes, progress in your careers are like video games achievements. Why progression in real life matter So SO much ? Because you consider it to be that important or because the social norm tell you this is what you need to get in order to to fit into a mold that we call “good” men. If you so consider real life achievements are important, then why are they really important to you ? Because of social status ? Where are you trying to go ? Arent we all going to end up in the same place and the truth is no one really gives a shit of how successful you are or how fucked up your life is. How can you claim that you are different while you are trying to fit into a mold that you are not even aware off ? Are you aware of the fact that you are trying to fit into some certain kind of social construct ? And that you are doing it out of sheer “enjoyment” for it ?

[–]Fun2badult5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

People who are successful, out there making $$$$, traveling the world, fucking hot bitches don’t sit around play video games

[–]ChabowJackson-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

And that is everymans goal. To fuck hot bitches.

Gtfo

[–]Fun2badult1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yea that’s why you’re here. To fuck ugly bitches. Good for you

[–]ChabowJackson1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Self-improvement can be targeted for other reasons than the amount and shape of pussy you put your dick in.

[–]masteryimain340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A lot of people come here to hate girls. But this is the reason you’re here. If you weren’t addicted to computers you’d be out there fucking bitches too. Realize this. Embrace it. Now go enjoy

[–]KELonPS3in576p-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just spent the last 2 weeks playing World of Warcraft for about 12 hours a day. On one side it makes me forget about my unfulfilling life and gives me joy I didn't have for months, otherwise it only brings my real life expertises ahead just a little notch. Everything has its price.

[–]Taproot88-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

<a href=”http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2lm6h7b&s=9#.WuXXqoiWTIU”>this is me</a>

[–]Oppressions-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Video games aren't all virtual simulated achievement though. These days if you are competitive it's not that hard to win money from tournaments and through betting. Making money competitively through your own discipline and skill is a healthy thing IMO. Casual gamers playing only for fun, sure, waste of fucking time.

[–]returnofthemackX 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Have you seen the people who play games competitive? And suggesting gambling, fucking lol.

[–]Oppressions0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's hardly gambling if it's skill based, and not all comp gamers are frail virgins who don't even lift. This stigma is slowly going away but I guess most people are too shallow to get past what's been beaten into them.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Recreational porn and video games are okay though

[–]returnofthemackX 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

It’s not. It’s bad. Not saying you should not do bad things, but you have to realise they are bad when doing it.

[–]Steelchamps1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, work, succeed, pay taxes, bitches, lol you guys. How about EGO addiction? The ego will destroy. Btw: playing video games on occasion, particularly sports games, is a great way for me to escape without spending 3k on a trip to the Bahamas. I'd love to see a spirituality/contentment post. Most be an exhausting life constantly bring miserable.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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