Blue Pill ExampleMan tries to win his wife's love by giving her Teslas and expensive vacations. She returns the favor by - you guessed it - having an orgy with randos when he's gone. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by needsomehelp3211

Summary: You CANNOT win over a woman by giving her expensive shit, even (especially) your SO or wife. Not only is it ineffective, it will decrease her respect for you.

There's been a lot of discussion in the manosphere about value and how to demonstrate it. Many men, unfortunately, mistake what this means and what it entails. "Demonstrate value?" they ask. "Well, I'm an engineer working at Amazon making $120,000, I have super duper value right??? Now how to demonstrate it... I know, I'll buy my woman lots of things so she knows I have value and I love her."



Do not pass go, do not collect $200 (in fact you'll be losing a lot more than that in child support payments soon). It is true that money does make a woman more likely to sleep with a man, but if you want any respect or actual attraction from her, you have to demonstrate it in ways that shows your value is for YOU. Not her. You.

Think I'm joking around? Read what happens to the guy who didn't learn this lesson. Full thread here.

Fair warning, the original post is pretty long:

Ten years ago I thought I had the perfect life. Upper six-figure job, beautiful wife, clean house, two new cars, and a child on the way. My job made me happy and I was good at it, and the stability was great. My wife loved me for me and ignored my flaws as I tried to perfect them. In return, I adored her and we seemed to be the perfect couple. People would always compliment us, and talk about how envious they were of our relationship and everything.

It kept getting better. I kept getting promotions, the kids (now 3) were born, and we eventually moved from an ordinary house to an incredibly nice one. My wife was doing very well in her career (optometrist), and we took fun vacations every year. Again, I thought I had it made.

I don't know how this would have prompted it, but in early 2015, I bought her a Tesla, for her birthday. She hadn't gotten a new car since 2008, and I kept getting new cars, therefore I surprised her. She loved it, loved me, and I remember spending that entire day just taking rides in it and figuring out how all of the gadgets and icons worked.

It was complete downhill from there. I don't know how that would have triggered anything, but in the months following, she became increasingly distant from not only me, but our children. My oldest (10, F) in particular, felt hurt by this and would often try to ensue conversations with her mother, in order to get her talking. Some days this would work and she would be pleasant, others it would have the opposite effect.

The first time I suspected that I was no longer her man of choice was in July 2016 when I noticed she was no longer going to yoga classes, but telling me she was. We were on the same phone plan, and part of that plan was we could see our locations of our phones. I was routinely browsing the app one day, and noticed she appeared to be at someone's house. Since she had been irrationally angry that day prior to leaving, I didn't question her about it when she got home from "yoga." Instead, I chose to closely observe where she went during her "yoga" times. It would always seem to end up at the same house - a well-off neighborhood (probably a step above ours) a little north of town.

I was getting ready to confront her when I noticed that she had been returning to yoga again. During this period, she became incredibly distant, and hormonal. My entire family had noticed this behavior going on for over a year now, but I had had enough. I sat her down, and asked her what was going on. She gave me the cold shoulder, and when I questioned her about the yoga locations, she accused me of stalking, invading privacy, and being a "grade-A dick."

That's when I asked her: "are you cheating on me?" Of course, the answer was no. What followed in the weeks to come was distrust, hatred, and plain anger towards me. It was clear she knew I had caught on, and was now trying to play the "I-can't-believe-you'd-think-this" victim card. But I knew. I saw through it all.

When she finally admitted she had seen and slept with another man, that's when I made my mistake. I forgave her. She told me she loved me, she loved our family, and in that moment, I believed her. I thought she could change. I was wrong.

We tried marriage therapy. We tried taking adult days. It seemed to work. We were happy, and she was genuinely having fun and it seemed like I had the old her back. I was relieved, this allowed me to pour more time into my kids and my work, and have less stress overall.

My business trip to San Diego (I live on the East Coast, USA) was cut short when my colleague fell ill, and our clients insisted that we reschedule. It was a hassle, but I we caught the next flight out, and returned home.

I'm not sure why I didn't tell her I was coming home, but I just didn't. Maybe I wanted it to be a surprise? The only surprise I received when I pulled into the driveway was seeing a Ford SUV in my garage, and finding not one, but TWO men in my bed. With my wife.

This all happened yesterday. I'm finally putting it into words. My wife started babbling when it happened, desperately trying to explain. I heard none of it. I walked out of my room, went to the basement, and poured myself a drink. I could hear the men upstairs leaving, and when I returned upstairs, it was my wife sitting there, clothed, with a sad smile on her face.

She started talking, but I wouldn't have it. I told her to get out. I told her to get out of my house. I informed her that I'd get her stuff to her by the end of the week. She tried to pull the "what-about-the-kids" bullshit, but I was just done. I'm sad, but not for her. I'm sad for my kids, and I'm sad for whatever poor soul she meets next.

I will fight hard for my kids, but my biggest fear is losing them. I know the court will rule incredibly in favor of mothers. I hope they realize that I've spent the last three years doing my best to mend a broken marriage for my family, and nothing has worked.

Let's dissect this from a RedPill perspective.

1) Upper six figure job, which means basically millionaire. Someone may look at this and think that alone means this guy's the ultimate alpha male. Well... turns out that isn't the case. Money means nothing if you're an orbiter and provider at heart. It just makes you a fatter golden goose in the eyes of your woman.

2) Bought her a Tesla as a surprise (ie spent >$100,000 grand). Gentlemen, this kind of gift giving does not have the effect you think it will have. It doesn't bring her closer to you or cement your love, it actually diminishes her attraction. Women are binary. There are men who make their panties tingle, and men who make their purses tingle. You CANNOT be both, even though it's a nice pie-in-the-sky dream to be that perfect man. OP found out the hard way. The Tesla just hammered in his status as a subservient provider.

3) "Couples' therapy". Honestly, by the time you even get to the point where someone utters these words, the war is lost. First of all most therapists are women and will be actively sabotaging the therapy sessions. Secondly therapy is just talking. And if there's one thing that dries up a woman's vagina faster than a gob of spit in the Sahara, it's a man trying to beg and "discuss" his way into her heart. You cannot negotiate attraction.

The way to show value through money is to spend it on yourself. Buy yourself some dope shit show it off. By a Tesla for you. Wear the most expensive brands if you feel like it. But above all else, make sure she gets the point that you're doing it selfishly and that she has to earn every penny you bestow upon her.

TL;DR: Demonstrating value does not mean showering somebody with gifts and attention. It means showering YOURSELF with gifts and attention and showing that you're #1.

[–]okuli 210 points211 points  (64 children)

That's exactly my story, we both had six-figure salaries, life was good until it wasn't. One of the biggest regrets is that my son won't grow up in a full family. My 5yo son became depressed and emotionally unstable: without a reason he would become angry, biting, hitting, have to go to therapy because of breakup. She ruined my life and my son't life just because she couldn't control her pussy.

In no-fault state her cheating doesn't matter AT ALL.

Write a letter like you wrote this post, and hand it out /read it out loud at court. You deserve the kids and I'm sure you're a great dad. You can do this.

I've been to court twice this year, they don't do drama there.

[–]blownnnn 146 points147 points  (55 children)

It's acceptable for women to cheat now. Watch all these new drama and romance movies. Women are always cheating and being forgiven for the name of love. Girls grow up thinking its OK behaviour. They are flawed and unfortunately can be easily manipulated. If men had more values and principles this shit wouldn't happen, but men are flawed too and wanna fuck a random person over, cause it's cool to. That's our society now, and it's a damn shame.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 25 points26 points  (54 children)

I don't know man. We men have been openly showing the stereotype that is a "man thing" to have mistresses on the side and that your wife must put up with it for decades. When dudes want to have several women at once or are caught cheating, "It's a man thing" is one of the excuses that are used.

Girls are growing thinking they can get away with it because they have the benefit of the doubt because they actually have it. They are doing nothing but to take advange of the conditions society has offered them, as men do when given the chance.

And yes, the sexual liberation of women led to more sex for everyone and less stability in formal relationships. You are given the choice to play for the winning team, and that is why this sub exists.

[–]hammerhearth 9 points10 points  (8 children)

Men risk way more by cheating while in relationships.

If I, as a man, cheat on my wife, she will take my house, car, kids, child support payments, and indefinite alimony payments. If my sexual market value were sky high I could play a "live with it baby" and hope for the best just like a high value man would do with his mistresses.

If I, as a woman, cheat on my husband, the law will permit me to take his house, car, kids, child support payments, and indefinite alimony payments given I call the police after bruising up my forearms a little.

See the problem? Courts are designed to protect women at all costs, and as u/blownnnn says, its becoming socially acceptable for women to cheat.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 7 points8 points  (3 children)

That is a very recent phenomenon. One or two generations ago a woman depending on a husband would have ended up starving in the streets if she cheated. Of course the scale has been horribly tipped out of balance in favour for women.

And I can agree with you cheating is becoming more socially acceptable for women.

[–]blownnnn 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Exactly, women are INCENTIVIZED & manipulated to cheat in western society and there is a lot of powerful people who want to keep it this way because of $$$$.

They are actually pushing the limits by sponsoring movements like #metoo and public displays of victimization to get more women to do this. Social media and memes are tools being used to enslave, destroy and control victimized men. At the same time, silencing any men movements and rallies against it. This is the extreme left I never knew existed. It's quite shocking.

That's why I think it's irrational to just call incel or MGTOW losers. They are men choosing to not participate in this system that threatens their livelihood and incentivizes women into hurting men. It's completely rational.

[–]hammerhearth 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Not marrying and foregoing children is also rational but unlike the MGTOWs we have to know where to drawn the line.

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.

Yes, there are dangers involving yourself with women, but the risks (barring marriage and children) are well worth it.

[–]blownnnn 8 points9 points  (13 children)

You raise valid points. Each of us as men have to a choice: to evolve humanity or devolve it. We ultimately lead the way in how our society will become.

That's why I don't mess around with attached women at all. This behaviour is destroying families, destroying men, raising weaker BETA men and it leads to an overall weaker society.

Men need to reject women who do this behavior, because it is just making more frustrated men that end up lashing out to society. Look at schools today, people are getting shot up like it's a normal thing. There is probably more hurtful things going on in schools today that nobody talks about.

Women need to learn how to be honest and vulnerable to men if they want to be leaders, not continue to champion women who emotionally destroy men.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 8 points9 points  (4 children)

It's a very complex issue and the truth is, we just do not know how to deal with it as a society. Not even psychologists, sociologists and similar professionals know how tackle the societal changes of our time.

The facts are that: 1) kids without a father figure do much worse in life than kids that manage to remain in a stable family. 2) Inequality increases violence among men. And by inequality I mean not only economic inequality, but everything else that spans from that, including have a small % of successful men at the top and the vast majorty of losers at the bottom, feeling they have nothing to lose. 3) Sexual liberation of women has made them extra selective, leading to the 20%-80% distributions we talk about here so much.

So you have a generation of young guys that never had a father figure, never learned how a man interacts with a woman in a loving way (so many guys here telling us chilling divorce rape stories), never had parenting time because mom is always at work and on top of that they seeing an increasingly reduce number of successful guys girls just fight over for. Of course these man tend to think the world is unfair. Of course they tend to think that it would be so much better if opportunities could even out a bit.

And of course women act the way they act, come on. They do it because they can and they also do it because they are trapped in their own societal expectations. However, they do have choice. Which we men don't.

At the moment it seems that this all leads to more unhappiness. And I have no way to tell if the current trend of men opting out of life will actually make them happy in the long run or if women will be happy in the future with the idea that men "worthy" enough for themare just going to become scarcer and scarcer.

[–]SovereignSoul76 8 points9 points  (15 children)

"And yes, the sexual liberation of women led to more sex for everyone"

That's like saying "The 2008 bailout led to more money for everyone".

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 1 point2 points  (14 children)

Well, it certainly did!. Our grandparents and grandparents in many places had to marry to get laid. Today we have Tinder. Our parents actually got laid more than any other generation and now we are starting to see the new generations having less sex and intimacy, but still miles ahead from the conservative societies of the past.

Keep in mind that the sexual liberation of women is a 60-year old phenomenon, not something that happened 5 years ago when Instagram sluts flourished.

[–]pmmedenver 46 points47 points  (3 children)

My family divorced when I was 12 and my neglectful father was replaced with a tyrannical narcissist. I was bullied all through middle school and most of high school. These days I'm a founding member of a successful software company at 27. I still have fear talking to people, trust issues, and always assume the worst, but the human spirit is strong enough to overcome, given the right attitude (stay humble, always be growing).

[–]Buchloe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just read an article saying a stable, loving family during the years up to age six is pretty critical to a child growing up to be a confident, stable adult. Very sorry that at no doing of your own your child/ children may suffer.

[–]cat_magnet 439 points440 points  (60 children)

You guys really have this wrong. She wasn't a unicorn one day then getting railed by two chads the next. There would have been plenty of red flags (previous sexual history etc) but the op decided to ignore it cause he was a high income beta and she was hotter than he could ever get without money.

[–]WaterHound 217 points218 points  (28 children)

This is a very good point. I know very FEW women that are the "oops, I've got two guys in my bed..." who are also 'marriage-material' according to those who have both eyes open.

I know AWALT, but even then, my experience is that even women don't one day randomly make the jump from serial monagamy up to "Threesome in my husbands bed" overnight. There's a slew of red flags this guy probably never noticed or just outright ignored.

[–]ramfex21 101 points102 points  (16 children)

He must have been ignoring red flags if he simply forgave her the first time he caught her cheating. She would have done it before

[–]smallpoly 137 points138 points  (10 children)

If you forgive a cheater, all you do is teach them that cheating is forgivable.

[–]BewareTheOldMan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

...second your comment - the moment you forgive infidelity you are saying "it's okay you stepped out of the relationship based on complete and utter disrespect for marriage, the relationship, and the children." All the talking, crying. wailing, forgiving, and marital counseling is useless.

I can account for the truly RARE EXCEPTION, but most times it's ineffective and prolongs the inevitable divorce.

It's too much - especially after being nothing but a great husband and father. At least the guy had the stones to end the marriage.

Based on his income and the mother's basic emotional abandonment of the kids, along with the infidelity he might have a really good shot at custody.

Bottom line: You CANNOT win over a woman by giving her expensive shit

TRP Conformed...yet again.

[–]Bruchibre 9 points10 points  (2 children)

he must be color blind. All flags are grey to him.

[–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero 10 points11 points  (1 child)

"When you wear rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."

[–]Redpiller77 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I need another season of Bojack Horseman.

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (4 children)

Well there was, that is his ex-wife was skipping yoga sessions to fuck another dude, and OP knew about it for several months, then when he finally confronted her, she admitted it after some time had passed with OP forgiving her.

You never forgive a cheater, once a cheater always a cheater.

[–]Unboundaries 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Not so much once a cheater always a cheater. Cheating is an ACT, that is led forth by certain character traits that men need to be proactive in identifying: deceitful, dishonest, disloyal, insecurity, lack of self-esteem.

If she tells you white lies, or big lies, or moderate lies, you know that you're dealing with a woman who has no issues lying to you. You need not get serious with any woman you catch lying in any way. Because prolonged time with her, and marriage, will lead to her fucking other men, and of course, lying about it, because you've let her lie to you for so long.

If she tells you any lies early on, you know you're in bed with a liar. That will lie to you now, and later. This is a big mistake guys make discarding white lies. If she lies at all, she's a liar. Period.

[–]architectintx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

nailed this one on the head.

[–]1ozaku7 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Exactly this. TRP makes women look like complete trainwrecks and they take AWALT so heavily that it's like the sub trains only posts trainwrecks and implies that all trains are destined to crash. You never really find a normal guy posting here because he has no reason to.

[–]jesper_lundqvist 26 points27 points  (1 child)

What you have to bear in mind is that the author is (almost) certainly blue-pilled, so he wouldn't have noticed those red flags because they were invisible to him. As far as he was concerned, he was just fulfilling the obligations of a husband in the 21st century. He only saw cause for concern when confronted with warning signs no reasonable person could ignore.

That's not to say that there weren't warning signs that we would find very clear; just that they likely wouldn't have been suspicious to him unless he were red-pilled. It stands as a precautionary tale and I hope he has learned his lessons from it.

Edit: Oops, I missed him forgiving her cheating the first time. He definitely stood on a landmine there. Maybe he naively trusted her and that marriage counselling would be effective, but either way, it is a pretty brutal lesson.

[–]1ozaku7 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Maybe he was a pathetic excuse of a man who has nothing to offer but money. That's the losers that women cheat on most likely. This sub has also taught me to judge the value by women not by looks but by what else they have to offer besides looks and sex. When you do that you notice how plain and boring most women are, yet they get along with some rich guy who has nothing to offer but money.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 31 points32 points  (12 children)

There would have been plenty of red flags (previous sexual history etc) but the op decided to ignore it cause he was a high income beta and she was hotter than he could ever get without money.

She wasn't a unicorn to start with, because there are no unicorns. Women get sexually bored after 1-3 years, and every girl has red flags.

You can't prevent this kind of thing happening, but you can easily avoid marriage.

[–]redpillcad 1 points1 points [recovered]

This point needs to be highlighted. All women are like this. They are sexually attracted to very different fairs than is commonly shared and discussed. That loser Parkland School Shooter gets love letters and nudes sent on the regular. Plenty of non violent hardworking good men are incels

[–]Unboundaries 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely correct. The OP picked a trash woman expecting her to be some perfect wife. He allowed himself to be fooled by tits and ass. He ignored her shit character that she's likely shown for years.

[–]the_mountains1985 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is what I was thinking. He didnt know how to have sex with his wife but she thought she could settle for comfort.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A woman that has this life and then blows it up to get gangbanged is likely crazy/cluster b disordered to an above average extent. Yes, there would be red flags.

[–]truedemocracy3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Optometrist though so she has a brain and could provide for herself. I agree there were probably flags this guy was ignoring

[–]KookyDonut 501 points502 points  (69 children)

Couple's Therapy must be one of the biggest fucking scams going around, I think.

[–]2Overkillengine 204 points205 points  (13 children)

The only reason to go along with that is to buy time planning your exit strategy while checking a "Gee your honor, I REALLY tried but it didn't work out" box to make you look better in court.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 71 points72 points  (7 children)

If you act like a pussy in the sessions and get the therapist on your side you can effectively get the woman to dismiss the therapy as an option. My bro in law managed this.

[–]the_banyan 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Can attest — this works. Went into couples therapy with a cheater once and initially the therapist was clearly biased against me with no basis, so I assume, sexism. As time went on though it became clear to her that I was being fair and reasonable and my ex was being a manipulative hysterical loon. The therapist started sympathizing more with me and wanting my ex to address some things and poof, ex no longer wanty the therapy. She was all about it before because I think she thought she could “win” at therapy.

[–]Rodion-Raskolnikov 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This exact same thing happened to me. After four sessions my LTR of the time wanted to stop going because it was clear to the therapist that I was a good partner and she was a selfish, vain, unreasonable sociopath.

[–]warthundersfw 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Get the therapist to dismiss it? What are you trying to say?

[–]1empatheticapathetic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Get your partner to realise therapy was a failed attempt at getting you to submit because you are aware of the game she is attempting to play.

[–]FrankCostanza111 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Correct. You must check every box before pulling the trigger.

[–]Gearski 5 points6 points  (3 children)

to make you look better in court.

Is there any point to this? You're going to lose in court no matter how hard you tried, most likely.

[–]2Overkillengine 17 points18 points  (2 children)

All the more reason to burn up liquid assets prior to the divorce papers being filed then.

[–]Psychocist 3 points4 points  (1 child)

My God. I hope I die on the honeymoon if I ever get married. Didn't even realise until reading some of these stories that countless men actually go through this every day.

[–]arphod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welcome...to the desert...of the real.

[–]FrankCostanza111 236 points237 points  (7 children)

My ex-wife and I went to a marriage therapist. After 3 sessions he (he therapist) agreed with me that the marriage seemed fucked and that I should get out if I wanted to. Despite having an infant. Dude kept it real and even told me that he slapped a woman before and that “sometimes they just deserve it.”

Definitely not what I was expecting. Your mileage may vary.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Exactly. The role of the marriage therapist is to help the clients figure themselves out, and their relationship, and not to save the marriage. That's the biggest misconceptions people have. But unfortunatelly most therapists suck at their job, and at life, and have a plethora of issues they can't figure out for themselves.

[–]1ozaku7 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Most of them become therapists because they have been in atleast two marriages that sucked and suddenly consider themselves experts. Much like every idiot with a DSLR camera and shitty watermark logos names itself a photographer.

[–]Idontlikeredditors6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My ex wife begged me to go to marriage counseling with her. Two sessions after I gave in, she didn't want to go anymore.

I think a lot of marriage counselors are more in tune with women's bullshit than people think. That said, if you're going to couples therapy, it's almost definitely too late.

[–]Pope_Lucious 79 points80 points  (1 child)

Unhappy with your marriage?

Have you tried more obligations with no sex?

[–]SexWaffles 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Marriage may seem binding, but the hamster always finds another wheel.

[–]Freedom2speech 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It is. I tried it once and it was all about how I was the bad guy. Fuck that shit never again.

[–]nester79 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Agreed. Completely stupid. It's mostly for people who can't rip the bandaid off.

[–]sprafa 41 points42 points  (2 children)

I was redpilled (in a soft way) by a female therapist. I wouldn’t underestimate it

[–]AussiecuntTRP 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Psychotherapy is not a bad idea and can definitely help. I'm sure a lot of clinical psychologists are RP lite. The author of No More Mr Nice Guy for example is a psychotherapist. It's just couples counselling which is the scam ie. "have you tried making a schedule for sex" type of shit.

[–]furiouszeno 19 points20 points  (2 children)

First of all most therapists are women and will be actively sabotaging the therapy sessions.

I want to second this for anyone who doesn't believe it. I have been to counselling sessions for one marriage and another LTR, and its a big shit show. Almost all marriage/couples counselors are women, and despite what they say, they WILL take the side of the woman.

[–]TX_Gun_Hand 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Man... I even called mine out on it in the middle of a session. Fuck that bs

[–]conflagratorX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was in couple therapy with my LTR. Therapist was old ugly lady. And she was pretty red-pilled and usually took my side. I think you need to target older people to have decent therapy

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven 18 points19 points  (8 children)

You have no idea. A friend of mine married a chick a few years back, her family runs the church, the grandfather or father(didnt care to learn much about them) is the pastor and hollly fuck, they had my boy doing couples therapy with THEM before they even married.

Dude was so brainwashed, we tried to sit him down but it was obviously too little too late.

[–]acetylcysteine 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Most religious weddings require couples sessions/therapy before the priest will marry them. Not uncommon.

[–]jwarner95 22 points23 points  (16 children)

I'm starting to think that about therapy in general.

[–]willowhawk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Some therapy is pretty useless other types have been shown to be effective at dealing with a range of issues.

[–]dankmemem88 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It has helped me immensely. The majority of change in my life did come from me internally, but the therapy did help provide that initial ground that I needed. You just need to be willing to put in the effort on your own.

[–]Psychocist 2 points3 points  (11 children)

I think everyone should go through a period of therapy, even as a simple exploratory venture if nothing else, but definitely if they think they need help. I put it off for many years until I came dangerously close to a legitimate suicide attempt. I then lost one of my parents as I was coming out of that therapy.. and have since spent the last 6 months almost entirely alone while travelling and not gone mental. To say that it has strengthened my state of mind is an understatement.

As someone else said, the type of therapy matters. I went from CBT to ACT (acceptance-commitment therapy). I found ACT much more comparable to the mindset I was trying to cultivate. The essence of it is: instead of moving away from pain, accept it exists, and move towards your values.

CBT is more about techniques, whereas ACT is more about attitude. If you are grieving, in CBT you will be guided towards methods to deal with the thoughts in a more methodical or emotionally mature manner. In ACT you will be guided to loosen your grip on the thoughts entirely through acceptance of them and focus on actions which match your values. In other words, it's training you to simply move on in a very healthy manner.

Highly advise therapy. But find a good therapist. I think anyone who humbles themselves enough to open up the deepest recesses of their mind for examination and development is going to learn something about themselves. How could they not?

[–]jwarner95 4 points5 points  (10 children)

I think more people would benefit from $10 of LSD than thousands of dollars of therapy though.

[–]Psychocist 3 points4 points  (9 children)

I mean.. for the 2 years I was in therapy, I probably had 8 or 10 big LSD trips, and, for the 5 years before that likely around 30 trips. That drug has without a doubt had a significantly healthy effect on my state of mind. But even 5 years of using that on a nearly pure self-improvement level, the 2 years of therapy that followed still had a powerfully beneficial effect.

Some people take LSD and breakdown and end up in depression. It is silly to play with psychedelics without understanding them.. I think both LSD and therapy are a good mix. I frequently spoke to my therapist about trips I'd had and insights. We learned from each other, in a way.

[–]Bruchibre 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There is no one single post in relationship advice where someone doesn't bring up "you need therapy", "you need counseling". Drives me mad :)

[–]TopNotch_Fuckery 158 points159 points  (9 children)

Men just need to have this shit drilled into their heads over and over until it sticks. We get a new crop of horror stories like this every week, and so many people still manage to think it won't happen to them. If you're married, or in an LTR, you need to appreciate that you could be fucking next.

[–]1OneRedSock 15 points16 points  (1 child)

You will be fucking next. It's AWALT.

The biggest irony I see consistently on TRP are the men who think that because they are Red Pilled, and think they are using every RP trick in the book 100% effectively (they aren't), that they will maintain a marriage or relationship without the woman stepping out. They laugh at "BP Cucks", whose girlfriends or wives they fuck, but think they're somehow immune to the potentiality due to their understanding of RP or because their girl comes from a good, old fashioned family dynamic with a strong father figure, etc. But that's just BP mentality in a RP wrapper: they're still hoping for a unicorn, just using a different toolset.

AWALT is a fact. Simply because a woman steps out of the marriage does not intrinsically mean the man was BP. He could have been the most RP guy, and she simply followed her emotions, and hamstered her way into thinking some other guy is the true love of her life or some such bullshit due to the novelty of it or because she's hormonal. Despite all the red flags we use to spot low quality women, despite all the RP techniques we utilize to ensure they maintain tingles long enough, there comes a point when you have to accept there is only so much you can do to control your life, and a woman is not one of those things.

Fuck 'em. Enjoy 'em. But no one here should be assuming that they're above any of the bullshit that the "BP cucks" suffer; women are just like that. They love until they don't. You can mitigate the decline in their attraction to you, but at some point women are children. And children get bored.

[–]I_am_Jax_account 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Yeah because we (and I am including myself in this) think "well she said she loves me forever so, duh, we are going to stay together" and never truly, internally, consider the possibility of her changing her mind at any instant and having society back up her every impulse whim.

[–]Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes, it happened to me and I was thoroughly red-pilled throughout my marriage.....just don't fucking get married!!!

[–]jaxmomplayer 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Having an orgy with randos when he’s gone was my first guess!

[–]EatGreatEvnLate 45 points46 points  (0 children)

"Sometimes you think you have true love, and then you catch the early flight home from.. San Diego and a couple nude people jump out of your bathroom like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

Lol. Your story relates way too closely to the intro scene of Old School.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 122 points123 points  (17 children)

You cannot buy love, you can only buy sex.

If you have to buy a woman's favour, then she doesn't favour you at all. The moment you start paying to retain a woman it means you've already lost her; because if she was really yours she'd stick around without having to be bought.

You cannot force a woman to be faithful; you cannot police her; you have to rely on her to do it because she has to do it when you're not around.

Also, I think you're wrong about the Tesla. It wasn't that it made him look like a subservient provider; it made her look like a well off, successful woman; which made her attract more male attention...which led to her fucking around.

If you elevate a woman, expect her to attract attention from a better class of men...at which time she may decide you are no longer good enough for her.

If you put her on a pedestal don't be surprised if she starts to think she is better than you - after all you seem to think so.

[–]rahl_r 36 points37 points  (0 children)

If you elevate a woman, expect her to attract attention from a better class of men...at which time she may decide you are no longer good enough for her.

"Your services are no longer required", cutthroat mercenary style.

You said it. Such woman creature is some professional social hierarchy climberTM right there. Some top notch hypocrisy to it.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Also, I think you're wrong about the Tesla. It wasn't that it made him look like a subservient provider; it made her look like a well off, successful woman; which made her attract more male attention...which led to her fucking around.

Either the Tesla was a coincidence or it triggered feelings of guilt because she's already cheating.

Buying your wife expensive gifts is pointless - she already owns you and everything you earn. The only gift was your life, and you've already given it to her so there is no further benefit. Buying her anything else is just spending her money on her.

[–]lorum_ipsum_dolor 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Also, I think you're wrong about the Tesla. It wasn't that it made him look like a subservient provider; it made her look like a well off, successful woman; which made her attract more male attention...which led to her fucking around.

I disagree. Men don't give two shits apart from "Is she hot?". The only "success" she had was being genetically gifted. All the trappings of wealth and status were just background noise to this woman's hypergamy. There was no dread, no withholding of attention or resources, no consequences, no nothing. She knew she had nothing to lose.

[–]bonkai420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He should have gotten her a toyota corolla lol

[–]trees_away 23 points24 points  (7 children)

Exactly what happened to me when I sunk $8k into my soon to be ex wife’s breasts. She suddenly started getting more attention and decided she was better than me. I used my bonus two years in a row to do what SHE wanted.... Even though I was fine with her tits the way they were.

Fortunately, they look like Frankenstein’s monster and she won’t be able to afford to get them fixed on the $3400 a month she’s getting from me until she finds another beta shmuck to marry. Good luck with the wall sweetheart. Hope it breaks your nose.

I on the other hand just had a threesome tonight with a 21-yo and 22-yo models and life is grand. I love being divorced. 🤣

(For anyone who saw my field report last month about the 21-yo model, she’s become my bottom bitch, and actively pursues other women for me to bed. She brought her best friend over tonight for us to fuck, even though I’ve explicitly told her repeatedly that I’m not interested in exclusivity or labels but as long as she doesn’t bore me I’ll keep her around. Holy shit, I can’t believe that works.)

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 20 points21 points  (0 children)

And happened to my brother too. He met a poor girl, bought her nice clothes and gave her a new life; she then met a different class of men and left to marry one....who turned out to be only pretending to be better off than my bro and married her, got her pregnant then left her...after which she tried to come back to my brother (I already warned him this would happen) but thankfully he had the guts to say no...

Ah women......good to hear you are doing ok, so is my brother...

[–]Unboundaries 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Lmaoooooooo "Even though I was fine with her tits the way they were."

I could just imagine the arguments.

[–]trees_away 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, especially since I was WAY BP still and the bitch got what the bitch wanted... “Happy wife, happy life” right? 😂

[–]1Hulegu2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I keep hitting the star button like a lab rat rewarded with crack, but I can only give you one point.

[–]yaxis50 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You dropped way too much knowledge in this post.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (4 children)

As a sidenote, isn't it hilarious & sad that the offmychest subreddit has autoban on everyone who has ever posted on this very redpill subreddit?

If you have a post on the red pill try replying or posting in the offmychest subreddit - you can't, because you're auto-banned already.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It's important to instaban any men who wish to say anything against the pro-female narrative.

Women venting is completely fine of course.

[–]yaxis50 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Id trade the offmychest subreddit and a bunch of others for theredpill

[–]Wrath_of_Trump 62 points63 points  (2 children)

You can't buy inner game, that's where all the value is. When you can walk up to any girl and her face lights up, that's more powerful than pulling up in a McLaren.

[–]Gozsayin2 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Not necessarily. I would say inner game is how u keep them around but a nice car is all you need to get in the door. If your carless in America like me some women just don't want anything to do with you game or not

[–]saladon 1 points1 points [recovered]

This sounds like it was written by elon musk himself

[–]yazen_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My reaction when I read Tesla

[–]The__Tren__Train 55 points56 points  (3 children)

he's sad for her..

he should be sad for himself.. he's going to lose everything, and he'll be lucky to see his kids every other Thursday afternoon.

never marry

[–]rahl_r 51 points52 points  (14 children)

and finding not one, but TWO men in my bed.

Well, that's disgusting.

Two filthy strange men in his bed. Sweat, odor, and probably even cum, all rubbed into his bed. A bed that he sleeps in.

He'd have to throw away that bed and burn it to cinders. I know I would.

What about these two strange men? Don't they have any decency to see what they did? Are they going to pay for this dude's new bed once he takes the necessary step and burns the current one to cinders? What are these two to say about such situation? -- is there even anything to be said? Oh man...

[–]Rich77u 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Some dudes only look to bust a nut and don't care about what they leave behind.

But let's be honest. There isn't a shortage of assholes. If it wasn't them somebody else would.

[–]Satou4 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think I would move somewhere else

[–]teeteedoubleyoudee 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think paying for the bed would be the last of their intentions mate.

[–]3d_truth 16 points17 points  (10 children)

I don't blame the men at all. It's not on them. They were invited to come and have sex with a hot woman. It's her house too. If I was in their shoes I would do the same.

[–]RedwallAllratuRatbar 29 points30 points  (9 children)

It's interesting that we don't blame men, this is some kind of double standard. They deserve to be gunned down the street like degenerates they are. But first there would need to be precedent, because now it's accepted behaviour to fuck someone else's wife. But in "world is working as it should" sense, yes, the three of them should be hanged in public. I guarantee these behaviours would cut down by 99% in the society.

[–]3d_truth 2 points3 points  (4 children)

It's not a double standard. The woman has decided she will cheat on her husband, it is her decision to make. And it is none the guys business to try and 'save their marriage' by turning down this girl who will just find someone else. She knows there are endless willing guys. The ball is completely in her court and thus 100% her responsibility.

[–]tromix1 1 points1 points [recovered]

This. If that poster was smart, he would have gotten the plate numbers/vin's before going inside.

When he went inside, he should have had the situational awareness to look for foreign wallets&keys on a counter/table. He could have easily gotten their information, along with a positive facial ID when he stumbled into the situation.

With that info, he could have compiled info over time and waited till a later date in the future to extract his revenge.

I wont say what he could/should do, but he could take time to come up with a plan, or come to terms with it and forgive them. Up to him.

Certain people, with certain mentalities, skillsets, and tools, could wreak havoc cleanly if they were determined to do so.

[–]3d_truth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Revenge? No. Would you seek revenge on a lion if it tried to eat you? The only person to blame is the wife. And maybe husband for making her want to cheat.

Blaming the guy is very beta. There are probably a billion guys who would happily replace that guy and bang the wife.

[–]Reformed65 59 points60 points  (6 children)

To add to OP's message, I grew up in a family where they I had to earn my rights and freedom, I grew with people who often didn't appreciate my favours towards them, I saw how society would give to groups such as SJWs a hand, and they'll take the arm.

One of the most prominent message I've learnt in my life, is that once you start giving, the next gift has to be better, and the next has to be even better and so on. People always want more, and they want better value than what you gave them previously. Once you start giving, they're going to expect you to give the next time. Many times, I've helped people halfway though, I'd give them a hand, but I have my limits, I say "sorry, that's all I can do. I have to go" and they'd often be unappreciative of that, they go "come on man, just this once" but it's not "just this once", continue helping and you'll get about 5x "come on man, it's the last one. Just one more to go."

In regards to relationships, you mustn't give gifts that make your partner more "independent" because in this day and age, her "independence" doesn't make you more powerful. It's not like business partners, where if your partner was more independent from his boss, than he could sign that one deal with you but "sorry man, the boss has tied my hands, he doesn't agree with your terms". No, this is "your" girl, the more you give her, the more trouble she'll cause. It sounds fucked up, I'm not telling you to lock her in the house, I'm not telling you to take her phone away, I'm telling you to ensure that you invest in "your" girl in the right direction, invest her towards yourself, not towards making her a more "independent wymn".

[–]rahl_r 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I'm telling you to ensure that you invest in "your" girl in the right direction, invest her towards yourself

... which is? Can you please give some concrete examples and/or explain how this plays out in practice? It is just that I seem unable to wrap my dinosaur brain around the concept.

[–]Rich77u 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm thinking maybe instead of a car than simply expands her freedom, maybe a vacation for two, or a couple's activity. Maybe some home improvements, or cooking dinner together. Basically anything that ultimately includes or involves you at some level. In the case of a car, the only instance he's involved is signing the check.

With the vacation or the house, it's something the two can both enjoy and would ideally draw each other closer.

[–]3d_truth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's the first N in the DENNIS system. Nurture dependence.

[–]2Archterus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The old 2/3 rd rule applies. They give you x, you reciprocate with something 2/3rds of that magnitude. Keep them mean, keep them hungry.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Two take aways

1 Keep your relationships short. 2. Women change a lot after kids and it's not for the better.

[–]Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Yes. They become "unhappy" when they get everything they want.

[–]exscionewhuman 41 points42 points  (1 child)

So the moral of the story is he wasn't making her pussy tingle... but she was a soldier and had average sex for like 20 years. Hamstering away things like she's in love or what about the kids when thinking of a previous chad (or possibly not knowing better, and running into one later).

I think that was one of the hardest parts of redpill to accept for me. That women will never love you like you can love them. Their love can turn off like the flip of a switch. You can never rely on them or trust in them, you can only rely on yourself. My mom chose the ultimate alpha (the dead founder of a religion) over me so you know, awalt. I appreciate the lesson now, though.

I think in the moment though, they can be extremely expressive and honest with that expression, vibrant and fun with this almost childish energy. You can trust your perspective in those moments, it's ok to be attracted to them and want them, just don't trust what they have to say about it or that it could be permanent.

That's what sucks for me, I've always been a romantic, imagining a stable and harmonious relationship for life. Real life is chaotic, dirty, and often unpleasant, unfortunately. We've all had our feelings coddled since childhood trying to make us feel better about it, I guess. Taught the disney fantasy.

[–]SKRedPill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In that way they're like the opposite of my dog - once a dog loves you, he never stops loving. Well with women, if they stop loving you, it ain't coming back.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sounds like another Red Pill convert in the making.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Humans have an innate understanding of the sexual marketplace, and both sexes know they need to show "value" as a potential mate. But many people of both sexes have no idea of what the other sex truly values. This is why we have women going for prestigious degrees or careers in the partial hope that this makes them more valuable, and we have blue-pill betas showering girls with gifts and attention and sacrifices in the hope that this makes them more valuable.

When Mystery and others came up with the idea that you need to Demonstrate High Value (DHV) in pick-up, they meant being fun, being mysterious, being interesting, being exciting. They meant valuable alpha traits.

[–]awake283 9 points10 points  (0 children)

being interesting

Honestly this all it really is. And buying expensive gifts doesn't make you interesting, it makes you desperate. And nothing turns off a woman more than desperation.

[–]SKRedPill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sexual attraction is a very pure instinct that evolved before civilization was a thing.

[–]drleeisinsurgery 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I cannot thing of anything as emasculating as seeing your wife getting double teamed.

I'm glad this guy realized what a cuck he was.

[–]DeeplyDisturbed1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

most therapists are women and will be actively sabotaging the therapy sessions.

I can verify this right here.

[–]Parara_papapapaVeis 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Bought her a Tesla"


[–]420KUSHBUSH 55 points56 points  (26 children)

Any women that does that to her children, neglecting them, is not marriage material and is a shit human being. Granted most people are scum but this level is in the minority. Pretty sure you're just using an extreme case


She tried to pull the "what-about-the-kids" bullshit, but I was just done

I'm not sure if she said this out of manipulation or lack of self awareness and I don't know which one should worry me more

[–]The__Tren__Train 39 points40 points  (8 children)

marriage material

marriage is a transfer of wealth from the man to the woman. there is no such thing as 'marriage material'.

[–]2Archterus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, the 'material' is exactly that, the assets!

[–]2Dmva100 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Women will always weaponize their children.

Children are the 3rd leg of hypergamy; she needs them to be dependent on her unconditional love so she isn't all alone while pooping her Tena pads in the nursing home. Their kids are an extension of betabux in the form of comfort.

[–]donkey_democrat 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Women do have genuine love for their kids due to the strong Oxycotin-created connection.

[–]1SeemedGood 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Not so, particularly with modern drugged births and C-sections. True children typically present the first opportunity for women to outgrow solipsism and learn how to actually love others but women steeped in modern western culture are typically eschewing this opportunity these days.

[–]Garathon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agreed, my wife didn't give a fuck about her kids when she started avoiding seeing them in order to cheat.

[–]pseudonym42 25 points26 points  (6 children)

I am thinking you are new here. AWALT.

[–]replicaplater 3 points4 points  (2 children)

While you might be right in the pure ethical sense that she is trash its still not going to help the poor bastard or anyone else who stepped on this kind of landmine. This post just highlights that even when you think you have your life together, one false step and it can come crashing down.

[–]420KUSHBUSH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That point goes without saying though

[–]WhatsThePointAgainx 37 points38 points  (7 children)

The only mistake this guy really made was getting married. Love it how all the comments put sole responsibility for his wife being a hoe on the husband. As if women can't just be hoes because they want to be because she's a selfish twat. That's my only gripe with the redpill they still act like bluepillers as if every shit move a woman makes is some how the dudes responsibility or fault.

The dude was fucking married to her and bought her a car as part of a family asset. If that's enough excuse to be a hoe then it's the hoes fault and dude should divorce her ass imediate

[–]Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I agree with you! The guys on here get butt-hurt when you simply tell that being "red-pill aware" or "alpha" will NOT prevent this all too often calamity from happening to them.

Marriage should be illegal.

[–]Tarkakabhai 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Alphas like Brad Pitt get fucked in marriages. How can lifting can make you that Alpha is beyond me. Do not get married. That is it.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Brad Pitt is Beta as fuck. He might be attractive and famous, but he's far of being an example of an Alpha male.

[–]natodraht 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He mentioned his children quiet often so probably he was more in for his children than for his wife.Do you really think he would have behaved like this when there were no children? A cheating wife while he is quiet well of financially?

[–]1atticusfinch1973 6 points7 points  (0 children)

One thing to remember about women - always (especially attractive ones) - is that dick is literally a text message away at any time. If you look at some web sites even like this one a woman can jump on, post an anonymous message she wants to fuck and she will get two hundred responses in less than 24 hours. Organizing a threesome with random guys could take a couple of hours.

If you don't believe me go to some of the subs (like adultery) where women talk about the sneaky things they do or post on something like dirty r4r as a woman and see what happens.

Expect that this will happen if she loses attraction. Which will happen inevitably at some point. Expect to have this happen and then the key is to make sure that if/when it does, you literally don't give a fuck and can just walk away shaking your head and find the next woman.

[–]replicaplater 24 points25 points  (4 children)

The more money you make, the more vigilant you need to be in keeping track of what's going on in your life especially if you're married. The other important thing I'm seeing here is that the line between beta provider and showing value gets more precarious as you make more money.

Sad story but this guy screwed himself, and his kids(sadly) over once he got content with his situation. Who knows if it was arrogance or stupidity, either way he got screwed and more likely than not, the court system is going to shove a pike in ass for his troubles.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He didn’t know any better. It’s a strange Fucking rule that makes no sense logically.

[–]Freedom2speech 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What if she makes more money and you are caking off it?

[–]yaxis50 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Then she will work on a plan to divorce you without her having to pay alimony. Maybe if you have enough children the child support payments will cancel the alimony due out.

[–]RxCubed 13 points14 points  (4 children)

That story was painful to read and the guy that wrote it is a complete and total cuck and idiot.

The second I get the slightest inkling I'm being lied to, off with your head. Yet, he goes on a business trip while she is in a pattern of lying?

Moron should've got a divorce lawyer and hired a private investigator to start building a case the second her GPS said she was somewhere other than where she claimed.

People that dumb get what they deserve. That's not even blue pill, it's just utter stupidity.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

start building a case the second her GPS said she was somewhere other than where she claimed.

Like that matters with no fault divorce laws.

[–]SoulOf1Lion 13 points14 points  (1 child)

what a fucking hoe. but i blame it also on the guy ..... a tesla, really?

[–]okuli 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That's blue-pill conditioning our society does through movies, media, social pressure, etc.

I know a guy in his 50s when his GF tried to dump him bought expensive vacation which probably burned all his savings. She left him two weeks after vacation. She's fucking other guys, but they're still "friends" when she needs something from him. He's really hurt, but he still can't see what he did wrong and still trying to buy her things and hopes that some day she'll be with him. Some people never learn.

[–]nester79 31 points32 points  (16 children)

I would have just fucked other women after the first time. Nothing gets a woman more upset than when they realize their provider might leave for another woman and provide for her.

Case in point. I'm currently "dating" a married woman whose husband is a complete beta that can't provide for her at all (she's the breadwinner because he's too lazy to work). I do take care of her material desires with nice bags and shoes (yes that's against rp rules) and to her it's fuck worthy. When she starts getting whiny or acts out - wanting to go party with other friends, I let her and then the same time I plan dates with my "friends who are women".

Nothing shuts that shit down faster than her jealousy of a younger sexier woman who is going to potentially replace her.

[–]AllgBeamtenrecht 18 points19 points  (5 children)

you realize you are the same beta to her as her cucked husband, right? that you literally buy ´´sex and affection with money like a good old beta buck. no reason to feel proud

[–]mynameisntjulio 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's entirely possible that she started off as a good mother and devoted wife.. Regardless this story serves as a warning that a long term relationship with a beta can bring out the absolute worst in a woman. Betas cannot provide the strength and structure that an alpha provides, and which she needs to bring out the best of her femininity

[–]pmmedenver 10 points11 points  (2 children)

We need to stop blaming the people and start blaming the culture. Marriage hasn't worked since we stopped cutting off cheater's tits (and even then they still cheated). Read Sex at Dawn.


[–]magx01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How could you have read Sex at Dawn but still pin it on culture when the issue is clearly BIOLOGY?

We'll always have these issues because our culture, with respect to our biology, is a square peg round hold problem.

[–]diamondstudz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes, as OP said, if you have money, the key to making it work to your advantage is spending it on YOU, not women. If you want to demonstrate value, don't buy HER expensive shit, buy YOURSELF expensive shit

[–]shortmanlongfingers 2 points3 points  (1 child)

most therapists are women and will be actively sabotaging the therapy sessions

Can someone explain this a little more in detail?

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

women take the side of women

[–]cluelessguitarist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its kinda funny right now im staying with a family in the states and the couples been married for 24 years and they are happy amd you know what i noticed, the most red pill about long lasting relationship is to always and i mean always tease and never take seriously your SO, this guy is always making fun of her wife, teasing her and not giving a fuck. You need to maintain frame an keep being a challenge, heck i think the best thing is to always tease and have fun about it , not putting girls in a pedestal is a game changer.

[–]SirByron 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Older man here. What I found is the reverse - withholding gifts actually works. Deep, very deep inside she measures your self worth by how much you gift her. The more you give she demotes you. The less you give, she promotes you. This causes an inverse feedback cycle with her conditioning - in her mind she measures you as her provider. This causes a unresolvable conflict in her. But the amygdala wins. She will stay even if you don't give anything.

[–]dinnerwithfunions 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The best part is the “what about the kids?!” Yeah! what about the kids! why are you bringing two horny strangers into your kids home who are there to wreck your whole family’s relationship you dumb thot...

Guaranteed if she gets custody her kids are going to be seeing strange men coming and going day by day and it’s going to kill their self esteem and affect their performance in school. Betas, women, and spineless liberals will tell you it’s daddy’s toxic masculinity though. I’m so sick of this world refusing to recognize the elephant in the room.

Men are the patriarchs because men are the only ones capable of holding enough empathy to keep the family in order. It’s actually remarkable this guy tried to make it work for the sake of his family after catching his whore wife in the act. The sad reality is though, that if we tolerate this behavior I does more destruction to the family in the long run.. like an untreated disease.

[–]FlamingAmmosexual 17 points18 points  (12 children)

This part stuck out to me:

The only surprise I received when I pulled into the driveway was seeing a Ford SUV in my garage, and finding not one, but TWO men in my bed. With my wife.

My wife started babbling when it happened, desperately trying to explain. I heard none of it. I walked out of my room, went to the basement, and poured myself a drink. I could hear the men upstairs leaving, and when I returned upstairs, it was my wife sitting there, clothed, with a sad smile on her face.

Alright. Am I the only one here that would walk out and allow two strange men to be unsupervised in my own house?

The basement? It comes out sounding like he's a whipped dog while his wife does whatever. What if the guys didn't leave?

Tell her to get some clothes on and the two strangers to get out of the house. Just leaving them all there makes this guy sound gutless.

[–]CapnRonRico 34 points35 points  (3 children)

That is the thinking of someone who has either never been in a situation like that or cannot put themselves in the position of others that think differently from themselves.

Have you ever been in shock before, true real shock where the information coming in is too much to process?

You just sound like someone that has played these things out in their own mind yet has never lived it.

[–]truedemocracy3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep. This is akin to the "a guy comes in with a gun why didn't you take him out!" Level shock. Where your literal reality is warped.

[–]nofap___ 16 points17 points  (5 children)

The basement? It comes out sounding like he's a whipped dog while his wife does whatever. What if the guys didn't leave?

It sounds like a man who just went downstairs to grab his gun, and if I don't get the fuck out of his wife's house faster than I can pull my pants up that guy is going to blow my fucking brains out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Dude thank you. This is all I've been thinking about here. These two bulls have balls. I have a 9 under my mattress, and although the retrieval of it would be a bit awkward under these circumstances, I'd likely go for it.

Who the fuck is comfortable banging a married woman in a man's bed? I dunno, maybe I'm old school.

[–]ECoast_Man 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yeah this is why I don't knowingly fuck married women. It has absolutely nothing to do with moral code but self-preservation.

Going to the slut's house to fuck her in his bed is brazen, but even doing it at my place has risks.

You never fucking know who you're dealing with. Even loser guys can just fucking snap (Lord knows she's been treating him like garbage the past year or more) and show up at my place with his new .45.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah man. Or the hubby's mob connected. There are any number of unlikely circumstances that you're all of a sudden smack in the middle of. I have a feeling the people who do this shit have never learned really hard lessons surrounding this kind of stuff. What if the husband's an alcoholic roid head who knows Jiujitsu. All of a sudden your fucking neck's broken and too bad, you're trespassing. I dunno. BALLS

[–]2Archterus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Or not. 2 against 1, no knowledge of your enemy. I get how it reads gutless but from a different perspective smart. No drama, no cops. I have seen many a case of a guy walking in and catching the wife in flagrante delictio, taking to the guy, cops called and guess whose arse gets hauled off with an intervention order shortly following.

[–]AllahHatesFags 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These men and others have probably been unsupervised in his house multiple times and they already fucked his wife so it's not like they could do anything worse. The men aren't really the problem here and are only there because the wife is a nasty slut. If he were a whipped dog he wouldn't have kicked his cheating wife out the house.

[–]alphalion52 6 points7 points  (3 children)

True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out your bathroom blindfolded like a god damn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend.

[–]You_Know_This_MAN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha I was thinking this the entire time I read the story

[–]bigpoppasweet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck I really wanted that comment

[–]dustman83 7 points8 points  (7 children)

One detail over looked in this post was that the wife was also successful as an optometrist. Isn't that a straight up eye doctor? She was probably taking in as much cash as the husband, She had a lot of control in this situation. If the dude had lower smv and lower salary, big recipe for disaster. She also had everything she ever wanted, except DP.

While AWALT, you can severly keep them in check if you make far more and are more successful. Career women that have money are more likely to cheat IMO.

[–]Thegymismyhome 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Nah, Optometrists are not Physicians. They are diagnosticians but make significantly less than ophthalmologists. Ophthalmologists went to medical school and went through a clinical residency, optometrists did not have the rigor of schooling.

[–]dustman83 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ok cool I wasn't sure. Guess I can recant my statement. Just a spoiled ho.

[–]Thegymismyhome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s all good, I’m sure she made good money, but yeah that whore can go kill herself lol. He’s an idiot for spoiling her though.

[–]Freedom2speech 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I don’t know ... a guy can have lower salary but can still maintain smv by just not giving in to a females incessant demands. Trust me I know ...

[–]Ddanndt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry to say your woman was a cheater no matter what you provide her she always will be cheating. Today If you genuinely love a women they will back stab you thinking you are not strong enough for them and they are generally attracted to men who are don't respect them,beat them and constantly shout at them so its not your fault

Even with 3 kids she was cheating on you I say who in their right mind would do that.Even if you are not given child custody please keep talking with them they are the one who need your support

[–]Gozsayin2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would've loved to see the look on his wife face when husband walked in getting do something I'm sure she never does with husband

[–]A5M 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women are binary. There are men who make their panties tingle, and men who make their purses tingle. You CANNOT be both

I think this is far too simplistic, considering we are only given about 3 paragraphs spanning how ever many years it took for the break up of this marriage to actually occur.

You can definitely buy women gifts and still hold her attraction for you.

[–]someoneanonymouse 2 points3 points  (2 children)

He had enough money to buy a Tesla but not enough to buy a shotgun? At least to scare the shit out of them and preserve his dignity.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think what makes the modern world so crazy is just how easy it is for women if cheat now with the internet. Sure, a married woman in 1950 could probably get laid by asking a random stranger to fuck, but the logistics and risk were sooo much higher. Communities were tighter. People spent less time alone (less easy to get away) It’s just a huge step to take to do that in 1950, and there’s always the chance that he will rat you out and you are utterly ruined.

It seems that most of these old time affairs were people that you knew- neighbor, milkman, etc. Fucking your husband’s friend is a much bigger step that anyone is going to think twice about compared to fucking a stranger who lives 30 minutes away and doesn’t even know your last name. I’m not saying it didn’t happen, but there were much higher psychological and logistical barriers to overcome.

Now it’s as easy as downloading tinder, POF, or posting a personal ad, and literally within 20 minutes she can have a gangbang lined up. This is just not something that any society has ever seen before.

[–]yumyumgivemesome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just when I was seriously starting to feel like I should look for a great girl to finally marry... TRP has reminded me that AWALT. I love this community for how much it has made me strive to be a better man and for how many disasters it has undoubtedly prevented me from falling into.

[–]ThatGuyIam123 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I love the fact that she was getting plowed by TWO dudes lol

[–]awake283 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Id love to hear how she rationalized getting double porked in her mind

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 6 points7 points  (1 child)

"I'm at a stage in my life where i need to experiment and find myself" - a married woman told me that a few days ago when we met up at Starbucks before i took her home and fucked her brains out

[–]awake283 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's just crazy how their minds are able to reject all self-blame sometimes.

[–]awake283 1 point2 points  (0 children)

couples therapy lol

Id rather get shot in the head

[–]rivetedoaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I came in here expecting incels type material but you guys are several cuts above them. There is actually good advice here. Maybe marriage is a bad idea.

[–]Matt22blaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Saw this and wanted to tell the guy I feel for him. Forgot I'd been blocked from commenting on the sub for being subbed to trp.

[–]voyager14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully he got custody over the kids... and the Tesla...

[–]EdmondDaunts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like he got focussed real quick after discovering the threesome. Just like that final whack with the stick brings Enlightenment. Maybe he’s now on the path, at least a bit.

Ultimately the tale is about contingency as in Have Some Contingency. That’s all you can do in the end.

[–]zhantoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn't read the post, only the headline.

There is a clear line between giving gifts out of affection for a person, and out of desperation of a person.

It gets clear when the gifts are to convince her to love you, rather than solely to bring joy, and show your appreciation.

[–]ShaolinDRgn98 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I think there is more to the story besides a picture perfect marriage to just fucking two random dudes. Something had to be wrong the whole time or later on for this to happen. It does not just by chance happen.

[–]EminemLovesGrapes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The moment where you have to buy your wife expensive gives to keep her around is the moment it's not worth it anymore.

There's a reason they say most men earn more money than women but most women spend more money than most men.

[–]2johnnight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know how this would have prompted it, but in early 2015, I bought her a Tesla, for her birthday. It was complete downhill from there. I don't know how that would have triggered anything, but in the months following, she became increasingly distant from not only me, but our children.

I would try to explain this differently: every human needs a Petersonian game to play, where there are obstacles to overcome, goals and rewards, further levels. Meaning that rewards the struggle. 100 years ago men and women had enough natural obstacles to struggle against that they/we needed to stick together. Now we play on easy mode, but our psychological need to level up and move forward is still there.

If you just GIVE her a Tesla, what kind of Game are you? You are like a level in a game that only requires running right, there are no pits and no hurdles and the level ends immediately. Not engaging. Reward with no work is boring. A more difficult level is needed. This is why having a moderately difficult personality that throws hurdles at people and makes them work for the reward would be more attractive. (Women do the same with you, they throw hurdles too, when they want to test if you will work to overcome them.)

[–]Fulp_Piction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The key to this whole thing is in one line:

A well off neighbourhood (a step above ours).

Hypergamy don't care, bitches, so why should you. Think about the life this retard threw away because someone a bit better came along.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Wonder what the outcome will be?

She gets the house, all the cars, half his income for the rest of kids childhoods, alimoney, and 50%+ of his assets, would be my guess. There is no incentive to stop women cheating. Man cheats, woman divorces, gets everything. Woman cheats, woman divorces, gets everything.

Lesson? Don't get married.

[–]2IVIaskerade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.

The best reward for a woman who's done well isn't a tesla, it's a packet of skittles.

[–]RedPilledGodEmperor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

$100K is some expensive sex. She probably wasn't even fucking him that often. Would have been better just going on tinder with a photo of him and an expensive mansion or doing rich guy stuff.

He could have gone the route of flat out paying for sex. What an idiot.

[–]rayterzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

reading that story crushed my soul :(

[–]dykedestroyer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In case it’s not obvious: if you have proof of your wife stepping out, don’t confront them. Consult a divorce lawyer and do not let on that you plan to leave them

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