Stuff has Changed (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by pulsarkid

I remember getting into a lot of this back in 2008 or so. In those days there was just The Mystery Method, and a handful of other books on the topic. I used the information, and yes I got laid. My success wasn't immense, but it was enough for me.

Chad wasn't even a thing (that I can remember). It was just alpha and beta. The focus was just pickup. I don't think Rollo had even written his book yet (not sure).

Now there's SJWS, The Purple Pill Debate, Incels (wtf), neo masculinity, and a lot of feminists up in arms about all this stuff. I kind of miss how it was back then. It was just guys talking about how to pick up women, and all the mandatory self improvement that come out of that.

Anyway, here's a little advice from a guy that's been around the block. Hopefully this won't sound too redundant:

  1. Incels are just guys that haven't even begun to start trying. They are lost. The people talking about them have some weird agenda. Just ignore them.
  2. Women will never ever admit to hypergamy. Don't waste your time. Just be rational and navigate.
  3. Exercise is important.
  4. Before obsessing about getting laid, ask yourself, do you care that much? Most guys are programmed to think that if they aren't getting laid they are losers or something. You're not a loser.
  5. FATE is what I never see talked about much in this community. Some people are fated not to have too many relationships, and not because they are loser omegas or betas. Some people were born more for other things. Maybe they go off to war. Maybe they live in the woods. Maybe they strive before success gives them what they want. This is normal. Enjoy striving. Get a sense of your own fate. It will help.
  6. There's nothing wrong with learning better social skills to pickup women. Holding a frame, learning to joke in a conversation etc are all important. The people that think this is bad are lost. Women that get offended even when a man politely flirts with them are BITCHES. They qualify themselves out when they react. Don't forget that.
  7. As you get older you'll be able to tell when a women is into you within a minute of talking to them. This isn't rocket science. Pay attention to subtext. SUBTEXT.
  8. Women have to carry a baby for nine months. That's why this all seems like so much work. If you don't like it, strive or get to know your bisexual side.
  9. Porn will fuck you up. It's just too advanced now for our ape brains to deal with. Jerk off without it.
  10. This isn't a community just for conservatives or liberals. It transcends those boundaries.

And finally one last super important observation. I used to look at all my failures and blame myself. If only I had done X. Or if only I had done Y. What I didn't do was give myself enough credit. Maybe I ran a DLV spike because deep down inside I didn't like her. Maybe my failures weren't failures because I didn't stand up for what I actually needed. QUALIFYING is very important. You can't qualify what's right for you, if you can't stand up for yourself.

Ask yourself if you actually give that much of a shit. Ask yourself what you NEED not what you WANT, and remember getting in touch with your needs can take years!

YOU CAN'T FAIL IF YOU KNOW SHE'S NOT RIGHT FOR YOU. Talk to thirty women... how many are actually a match? Maybe one? Those other twenty nine aren't failures, and yes that applies to just getting laid too. Who the hell wants to fuck someone they aren't actually into? You see? Your needs matter a lot. Don't ignore them. Get to know them.

The End

p.s. No not everyone can master the day game method of picking up a total stranger off the sidewalk. Socially engineer what WORKS FOR YOU. The gym, a club, house parties, workplace, church, NA meetings, dating sites, etc are all valid ways to meet someone.

[–]Ikoikobythefio 592 points593 points  (88 children)

"Porn is too advanced for our ape brains" - well said. It really is these days

[–][deleted] 95 points96 points  (4 children)

Especially the VR shit...stay away from that. I haven’t watched porn for 223 days.

[–]Ikoikobythefio 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Dude fuck yeah!!! Keep it up man!! Their methods are just going to become more and more sinister. Wrecking the lives of so many young people

[–]InterNetting 126 points127 points  (19 children)

Agreed. Those 30+ who have been watching it for fifteen or more years know this is true.

[–]Ikoikobythefio 132 points133 points  (14 children)

I remember scoring a hustler magazine in 8th grade and passing it between friends. I'm 33. These days, the lighting, cinematography, the scripts and the clothing are all designed to trigger massive releases of dopamine that can't be replicated without more porn. There's an entire genre where the girl talks to the camera as if it were you and the methods they employ are sinister. They make it so intense and addicting that sex never becomes the same. Then they make fun of you for being addicted which reinforces the fact that they are. Luckily I'm old enough that when i encountered the genre my brain was already developed. I feel sorry for the 16 yr olds out there that fall into the trap. And incest porn for some reason has taken off - i guess the taboo nature of it turns people on - and that is REALLY screwing with their minds.

[–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (9 children)

Its called JOI (jerk off instruction). I am 18 and fell into that very addiction. It almost seems like it fills your loneliness. Subreddits like this are helping me.

[–]Ikoikobythefio 31 points32 points  (3 children)

1) it's okay 2) you're not lonely, you just feel that way 3) you can change your feelings

Feel free to pm me. I can help you

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Thank you very much. This is why I love reddit. I get to come across brothers that are so altruistic like your self. May God bless you. It means a lot.

[–]dmi_3 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Don't worry bro, you can get out. I used to watch it since 15 and until a year ago (26 years old) and then something just snapped and I stopped watching it altogether. After a year I now have much lower standards for women and really don't miss it at all. It's hard at first but you can do it.

[–]Ikoikobythefio 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Great work brother fist bump

[–]Spoderman1340 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing my dude. Reading this helped me. I'm a ta point now where i watch very occasionally but I have a habit of bingeing several days in a row when I do. Not always, but sometimes.

Reading everyone's comments here is motiviating me to just drop it entirely. Don't need it. Men have gotten by without it just fine over the last however many years.

[–]leviathan51 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Those 30+ who have been watching it for fifteen or more years know this is true.

No shit. Got PIED at fucking 18 years old.

[–]srlbambam 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Doctors don't even know what that is, or won't admit to it is they do.

[–]amachad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Abstain bro, the brain is very plastic and it will heal

[–]okojofiveeyes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with all of the above, but with the caveat that all porn is not equal. In the formative years, the porn you watch will set your expectation of what sex should be. Intensively produced porn will train your cock to flop when faced with a real-life situation. There is no question of this. The middle ground is amateur porn. And I don't mean 'amateur porn' where some unassuming girl is seduced in a studio. I mean real people doing it in the real world. Consuming real situations with real people, and forming expectations around how things are really done will do far less harm to sexual performance in the long run. The difference is night and day. For sure, abstinence will leave you able to get an erection at the sight of a tight dress, but makes are not really geared towards that. Let's not think of it as a porn/no porn dichotomy, but as a scale of management.

[–]red_matrix 99 points100 points  (35 children)

Porn is as addictive as cigarettes and heroine. The dopamine science is complete. Ignore these warnings at your own peril.

Edit: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com

[–]smirk_addict 77 points78 points  (10 children)

It took professional help for me to stop looking at porn. Started around 10 thanks to older friends and some uncles. I’m 34 now and this is the longest I’ve gone without looking at it. 3 and a half years.

[–]bape1 11 points12 points  (5 children)

How long did it take to be back to normal?

[–]smirk_addict 28 points29 points  (4 children)

It took me attending meetings once a week for about two years with a group of guys with similar issues, before i felt really strong. This local church does AA meetings. I have no idea why there isn’t more help and support for men dealing with porn addiction. But I was very fortunate to be apart of a group like that at the church. I didn’t agree with everything and one of the reasons I stoppped going was because as new members came and old ones left, I just didn’t really feel close to a lot of those guys.

EDIT: I forgot to add that the meetings were lead by a clinical therapist that I also saw for private sessions about 2 or three times a month.

[–]GEOTUS_Mit_Uns 1 points1 points [recovered]

Because there are a lot of "powers that be" that want men to be enslaved to internet porn, pills, booze, etc.

Healthy, masculine and free-thinking men are "dangerous".

[–]Ikoikobythefio 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That's exactly right. Wow. Never looked at it from that angle. Thank you

[–]PhattyBacon 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I've thought about this... if you want to decrease crime or whatever I'm not sure there's a better way than to start injecting a man with a slow drip of video games, porn, and his drug of choice. There's a reason men are so much more likely to become alcoholics-there's some link with men and addictive behavior idk.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I haven’t watched in 223 days

[–]Fwest3975 2 points3 points  (1 child)

How has it been in the last three years in regards to your social life?

[–]smirk_addict 17 points18 points  (0 children)

With the exception of the few years I lived in Asia maybe a decade ago.... It's probably the best it's ever been. I'm nowhere near where I want to be. But part of that is location. I use to not be one for casual sex. This led to years of sexual frustration. Porn was my coping mechanism. I had the very naive view that if I wanted a woman that didn't sleep around, I had to be the kind of guy that didn't as well. Of course I found that while most women may find that "admirable", It doesn't make their vagina's wet. As well as how easy it is as a man to show sexual restraint. You just have to exist. As most women that find you attractive will still expect you to make most of the effort. So many things have changed about how I think about life and relationships. While i'm not exactly a casanova, I have developed a bit of a reputation as a player. Which is a good thing. I don't drink or do any recreational drugs. If I did, I would absolutely be killing it. I've lost quite a few because I didn't give them plausible deniability with some type of substance. I have a good physique, i'm always well dressed and I got a bit of wit and charm. With my friends i'm usually one of the most attractive guys in the groups. My flirting is good and so is my sex game. I honestly just need to move. But one thing at a time.

[–]walruskingofsweden 1 points1 points [recovered]

I started watching porn when I was 11 on my shitty old iPod Touch. Fast forward a decade and I am now more addicted than I ever thought possible. And you're right, it might as well be heroin for people like me. By the time I "lost my virginity" I could not maintain an erection and usually could not get one at all. This has eliminated my confidence entirely. I am writing this comment for any other redpillers here whose addiction is still in it's infancy: stop while you still can, because porn will take everything from you. I can not even date a woman now. I battle with suicidal thoughts all day long. People close to me are starting to wonder what the fuck is wrong with Me, and I can never tell them. Because nobody will ever look at you the same when you tell them you're a disgusting porn addict with limp dick.

[–]wildbill1987 26 points27 points  (1 child)

I started when I was six, I'm going to be 32 in Aug... I ended up catching my dad watching it one night, as I sat in the dark in the other room without him knowing. I'll never forget that shit. From then on it was my mission to find his tapes when he was gone and play them. Obviously not understanding, but still getting a high from it. My addiction grew even more during my teens, luckily by then I had already lost my virginity. It hurt me in so many ways though. The way I looked at women, I couldn't even look at a attractive women without seeing her naked, and taking it from behind. It killed my confidence with women during my 20's. I haven't dealt with limp dick though. But now in my 30's I have realize that porn has been the underlying issue to my confidence with women. It's not like I wasn't getting laid though. I felt like it was luck every time. I mean it's not like I'm a bad looking dude. I'm 5'5 but I never had issues finding someone that was attracted to me, 8 years in the Infantry made it easier. Threesomes, cheating wifes... that shit always found me. But now, I'm having one hell of hard time recalibrating my brain. I have been learning about sexual transmutation, and channeling my sexual energy towards other things... damn it feels good to share this, I don't think I've ever told this to anyone.

[–]red_philosopher 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Replace one addiction with another, except instead of it being bad, make your choice good for you. Lifting does wonders for men. It's not bullshit. Every time you want to look at digital vaginas, make yourself lift or do bodyweight exercises for 15 minutes. You could also write, or make something with your hands. Or, even better, go out in public and talk to someone. Anyone, for any reason. This will encourage you to get your dopamine from a better source.

i also highly recommend CBT for depression. Everyone has bad thoughts, but frequently those thoughts are untrue distortions of our damaged minds.

And one more thing. Action comes before motivation. You must DO before you feel compelled. The same is true for any addiction. If you do, you feel compelled, if you don't, you don't feel compelled.

[–]Spoderman1340 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey man, our stories are weirdly similar. I remember only being able to navigate to like the cover page of a pay-for-porn website that had almost naked chicks on it and thinking that it was the pinnacle of existence. Boy did that change over time.

Thanks for sharing. Reading what you wrote really meant something to me and caused a couple of things to click. I too have had a limp dick experience. More than once actually. Some of it I would chalk up to nerves but considering my habits outside of that during that time...it was definitely the porn too. I struggle right now because I moved 750 miles away from home to go to graduate school. And while I love my program and don't regret moving to be a part of it, I moved to a really boring area where it is really hard to meet people unless you already have an established social circle - its a bit rural. So, naturally, porn is more alluring than ever.

Your comment has given me a lot of resolve though, and I want you to know that. Good luck my dude, thank you.

[–]Rollo_Mayhem3 18 points19 points  (13 children)

The porn is free, so i don't get how the industry is making money at this point.

[–]phoenix335 47 points48 points  (2 children)

That question is the ultimate deep red pill on the political side.

If the offer is free, you are the product.

Nobody in the whole world has that many subscriptions to offset the cost of running YouPorn et al. They have to get their revenue from other sources.

[–]SlimeGroove 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Namely, selling your accidental (and maybe the one in 1,000,000 genuine sucker's) clicks on those boner pill ads, as well as whatever browsing data they can harvest off you, which is a surprising amount even with Incognito mode on.

[–]LeDolceVita 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you're not at the table, you're on the menu

[–]red_matrix 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Ads and subscriptions. Look into how some guys spend all their money on porn. Especially the interactive stuff. Some guys are bankrolling cam girls jet-set lifestyles too. It's an addiction.

[–]saibot83 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Look up Maitland Ward. A failed d-list actress who's now a patreon whore full time. She's a chunky 3/10 and banks above 50K/Month from lonely suckers.

[–]Howdoiusesync 13 points14 points  (0 children)

i've been where you are. It's a crutch like most vices out there. As soon as you realize the power of yourself and start to change aspects of your life you will realized that 1.) There are more things that are fulfilling in life like socialized experiencing women, people in general, and yourself. 2.) Having goals and actually working towards them. I skim by porn once and a while and realize I could actually bang a girl that looks like this. In the past I have actually hooked up with milfs at a young age. Not to brag but really i find fulfillment in making things now and you should to when you realized what you want out of life. Everytime I watch porn now i can't even get into because I know how fake it is. There is nothing like feeling passion during real sex. More importantly there is nothing like feeling you are in control of your own life. We as humans are very programmable like a computer. Think about what your inputs are and how they effect your outputs. Meditation helps alot with this.

[–]DontYouTrustMe 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I can only get off to Brazilian fart porn these days...

[–]MankindMF 20 points21 points  (16 children)

Crazy that 2% of the population is allowed to pump this shit out on us.

[–]thetotalpackage7 3 points4 points  (1 child)

A parasitic tribe...they've been doing it since time immemorial. It's the reason they have been kicked out of over a dozen countries in the last 2k years.

[–]1Revo_Luzione 4 points5 points  (9 children)

With free speech being so important to the rest of society, it's hard to curtail.

However, it's basically prostitution. In porn, women are being paid for sex, and it shouldn't matter that it's a production company that's paying them--it's still sex for money. It would be interesting, and beneficial to society for a red-pilled, ZFG prosecutor to start going after the porn industry as a prostitution racket. A lot of porn stars do sell themselves outside of the film industry, so it would seem like a no-brainer. Unfortunately, with most porn coming out of blue states, it's unlikely that this will happen, and the left would shriek bloody murder about teh poor empowered feministas being shut out of making a living with their own bodies.

[–]Thrawy124 10 points11 points  (4 children)

I don't understand addictions. Idk if it's just me, but I spent 15 years eating shit tonnes of shit food every day and then one day I just stopped and never felt the urge to eat it again.

I needed to watch some pretty edgy shit to get off and then one day I just stopped watching porn, never felt any need to watch it again.

I can get halfway through a season of Vikings - get the sudden desire to be a Viking - then forget it exists for months.

Am I some sort of 3rd child experiment gone wrong?

[–]Ikoikobythefio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Addiction is simply wanting more dopamine from whatever activity triggers the most regardless of the associated negative consequences. But why does someone want more dopamine in the first place? We have plenty as it is. I think you just came to a realization that they were both bad ideas, no longer served a purpose and you'd be fine without them. For many that will subsequently expose them to pain - loneliness for example - that is easily assuaged by more porn/drugs/alcohol/food/sex/excercise. My hunch is you learned who you were, accepted it and said let's roll. A lot of folks don't accept. They just want. The difference between wanting and having sucks. And when people want what they cant have they try to fill the gaps

[–]drallcom3 1 points1 points [recovered]

What hasn't changed and never will: Being a desirable man works.

Lift, hold frame, get a carrer, do stuff. All that makes you immune to stuff that changes. Caving into every new fad society throws at you is for beta bitches.

[–]alucard1uk 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Good advice, definetly agree with a lot of this.

[–]omega_dawg93 217 points218 points  (59 children)

agreed with the politics message.

please leave out all that conservative vs liberal bullshit.

[–]Ferocious245 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Divide and conquer. Never forget that.

[–]2CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 54 points55 points  (38 children)

In the early days of this sub it was more political. It had more on Title IX and protecting yourself against fake rape allegations. Lots more posts on Cultural Marxism. And many early posters came from the Manosphere which had overlap between PUA, neoreaction and dark enlightenment - which were overwhelmingly against progressivism. Landscapes have changed, this sub has grown, and now its more mainstream and accepted with a wider range of political opinions not afraid to post here.

[–]1Revo_Luzione 29 points30 points  (35 children)

This is true, and it's also true that lifting and raising your testosterone will drive men to a more conservative view. There's good studies on this, though the exact mechanisms aren't well understood yet. There's a reason why so many liberals are low T soyboys, and the opposite as well.

[–]o0joshua0o 1 points1 points [recovered]

Citation needed, dude. I say this as someone who's been lifting for 24 years, and still has compassion for minorities and poor people.

[–]UNHAND_THAT_KANG 24 points25 points  (1 child)

So you're saying being conservative = no compassion for minorities and poor people?

[–]okojofiveeyes 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Left and right/red and blue is a totally arbitrary condition perpetuated by government who wants to politicise you and hold your vote. Instead look to yourself, your neighbour, your friends and family and decide what is important to you, then vote.

[–]omega_dawg93 19 points20 points  (0 children)

some of these dudes can make a discussion about toothpaste a conservative vs liberal political shit storm.

it's like they're stuck on putting everything and everyone in a red or blue box.

[–]thetotalpackage7 26 points27 points  (0 children)

You are clearly insinuating that you are a liberal, yet at the same time attempting to stake the moral high ground that only the left feels compassion for minorities and poor people. Nice try.

[–]LEGALIZEMEDICALMETH 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget the environment. Many conservatives tend to shit on the environment. In my mind, protecting the sustainability of nature and our planet is a responsibility to every human. Ignoring that responsibility is childish.

[–]Autosleep 17 points18 points  (1 child)

compassion for minorities and poor people.

That argument it's just silly. Conservatives don't hate poor people by default, they just believe wealth redistribution enslaves them to the state, impoverishing them as a result.

[–]GeuseyBetel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral self-righteous bullying laziness." - Penn Jillette

[–]1Revo_Luzione 15 points16 points  (10 children)

Here's one, and there are others in the literature if you dig a bit. Note that conservative views also show compassion for minorities and poor people, but see it through a lens of economic empowerment, creating jobs, rather than a handout. See: Candace Owens. The safety net was never intended to be a hammock, to paraphrase Thomas Sowell.


[–]SilkTouchm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that link. Fucking golden.

[–]AngriestBeaver 10 points11 points  (6 children)

That is not peer reviewed article or even a science journal. That is an article written by journalist tom whipple. One thing that drew me into this sub was the evidence based reality of what was presented most of the time. Hypergamy is an evolutionary behavior, yet most conservatives don't even believe evolution is a fact. We all had blind spots before coming here or adopting redpill theory, but a majority of this sub acts as if this was their only blindspot. Continuing to improve yourself in everyway includes evaluating/scrutinizing your own biefs from time to time to see if they still hold water. It also means new information can change your opinion of a previously held belief. I don't see this from my ultra-conservative redpill brothers.

[–]1Revo_Luzione 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Do you even read? It was a journalistic summary of an article published in Evolution & Human Behavior, most definitely a peer reviewed journal, and was performed at Brunel university in London. If you want, you could get the full text from sci-hub. I may do so later & post it for grins.

Continuing to improve yourself in everyway includes evaluating/scrutinizing your own biefs from time to time to see if they still hold water. It also means new information can change your opinion of a previously held belief. I don't see this from my ultra-conservative redpill brothers.

How do you think I got here from being an Obama voter from a blue collar, Democratic background and early life? From exactly the process you mentioned.

[–]iwasbornred 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do you have a peer reviewed article or science journal that proves conservatives don't believe in evolution, or are you just talking out of your ass?

Seriously, most people on the right are there for economic reasons more than religious reasons. How many "evangelicals" do you think there actually are?

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Are you compassionate enough to give them blow jobs. Because that would be sexual strategy. So either tell me how you suck black dick or fuck off with your virtue signaling.

[–]o0joshua0o 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Sounds like someone has latent sexual identity issues, AND doesn't understand what virtue signaling is

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Sounds like someone with a white savior complex is angry

[–]GeuseyBetel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral self-righteous bullying laziness." - Penn Jillette

[–]party_dragon 26 points27 points  (9 children)

Communities will automatically oppose those who want to restrict their freedom of speech / association and shut them down. Currently, for TRP, itseems that “liberals” are the bigger threat. But it’s not hard to see the situation reverse in a few years/decades.

[–]StraightWhiteMaleLOL 74 points75 points  (8 children)

Today's far-left - the ones who are seeking to silence speech - are not liberal at all. The rational, liberal left gets drowned out but they do still exist.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Much of that has to do with Progressives, the "far left", hijacking liberalism over the last 50 years. Progressives truly are the totalitarians of the Left. They don't actually understand nor adhere to classical liberal principles.

A lot of it is more about social psychology than politics ... virtue signaling, aka identifying who is in who's tribe.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Progressives who behave like this are no different than conservatives that do the same. The all or nothing identification and shaming from the tribe exists on both sides, but there are many progressives that subscribe to TRP. I promise that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Much of that has to do with Progressives, the "far left", hijacking liberalism over the last 50 years.

This started with FDR, well over 50 years ago. Keep in mind that American Liberalism and Classical Liberalism are two different ideologies.

[–]xSiNNx 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Absolutely. I’m a liberal. As you, I’m a straight white male. I listen to metal, I like guns, I think a lot of the modern issues surrounding sex and race are insane (ie college students kicked out for being a females drunken regret aka “consent v2: the update”, blacks saying they have it hard because of color, rather than saying because they’re poor (the ones primarily having problems) and being poor makes everyone s target for the law and justice system), I think women’s rights has come far enough and any farther and they’ll be the ones in an advantage in society (already have in family courts and justice system), etc etc etc

But, I also think illegals are people and the data saying they aren’t vastly more criminal or tax dodging is accurate, I think no one should be told what they can and can’t do with their bodies or the bodies of another with the others consent (gay/bi/trans/etc; abortion & birth control), I think we already waste enough tax money to take it all and couple it with the $ many already pay out of pocket/paycheck towards health insurance and create universal health care for everyone because no one should suffer or die in this day and age simply because they can’t afford outrageous medical costs, and I think going to war should be reserved for cases where it is vitally necessary for the betterment and security of mankind and all the $ saved in not fighting as much could further improve our society here on the home front, and I think we need national programs that are available to anyone to provide: mental health services & hospitals (modern ‘asylums’ cuz crazy people don’t belong in jail for being crazy), addiction treatment/management/rehab, and college educations/training & cert in trades. Finally, I think our “justice” and incarceration systems, as well as our law enforcement (from street cop to fed) needs to be massively & radically overhauled from the ground up. Shit, I guess I think the wealthy should be taxed harder than the poor because in the end one of them pays an amount that sucks but doesn’t endanger any aspect of their life or future and the other pays an amount that actually affects their ability to pay their bills and try and move us in the world. I also think that everyone deserves a fair wage, because until we can all agree on that and understand that everyone wakes up wishing they could afford the minimum required for a decent life were broken as a society, because homelessness and hunger and desperation lead to misery and crime that no one can stop.

I have no fucking idea why I wrote all that shit out, I’ll understand if I get downvoted to hide this comment. My point here I guess was to say that I consider myself a liberal. I consider the people trying to force others to refer to them as their spirit animal as crazy fucks. They are to liberals what the evangelicals are to conservatives, and honestly both extremes are critically detrimental to this country.

I read here a lot, soaking up information, always looking for that little nugget of something new to me, but I have absolutely noticed lately that this sub seems to have a pretty hard bend to the right, and it does suck to see.

I think we’re all here for one of the few things in the world that we see eye to eye on, and we’d all do well to remember that! And just because I want more safety and security and happiness for my fellow people and others want more individualism and only-the-strongest-survive for those people does not mean we don’t still have many other things that we all want. This sub is a fantastic place and we all know deep down that we’re here because, in some way, we all want to better ourselves and improve our world as we experience it, and that’s a good thing.

Improvement and more enjoyment and less stress/pressure is ALWAYS good, and something I think we ALL strive for, thus the communal hard work being done here to help out the fellow man. :)

[–]Im_Not_Kevin 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Cheers man, appreciate the personal write up. If you care about the identity politics of it all you sound a lot like most of my moderate friends; open to new ideas/equal rights but not the obscene or unrealistic kind. I know you don't like the "bend to the right" this sub has; but when the rest of Reddit is so heavily liberalized I can see how this sub is jarring. Sorry it "sucks to see" but think about every Conservative that comes to this site anyway; this is one of the few subs that accept those political ideals. I don't agree with everything you write, but I'll always respect it because that's the true American way (and the true definition of Liberal ideology before it's more modern interpretation) and I believe in practicing what I preach.

"we all want to better ourselves and improve our world as we experience it"

You nailed it brother, that's what TRP is all about

[–]TwistedPeanut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damnit I wish we had more people with your attitude in our country. We could really use it right now.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I think what has helped propagate SJWism and the Incel culture is the huge increase in the consumption of mass media in this decade. Some people back then were still inclined towards such ideologies but then when they met similar minded people it helped cement their ideology firmly, closed circlejerk furthering their view.

[–]TheRedPillMonkey 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I think its social media more than mass media to be specific. But I agree. We now have our echo Chambers where a single voice can turn into a louder voice. You realize your views are shared and you think you're ideas are more common, appropriate, and well received than they are. You can also ignore all the haters, and compete for the most extreme view, masquerading as the most pure version of that view.

Ironically, that's true even with the TRP echo chamber.

[–]comcain 95 points96 points  (14 children)

Women who are being bitches disqualify themselves from genetic selection. That's a heavy hit.

Good list, thanks for the post OP.

[–]StraightWhiteMaleLOL 47 points48 points  (4 children)

To an extent. There are plenty of dudes with zero self-respect who would stay with them because they're hot or the dude just likes being walked all over.

[–]AndyCandyHandySandy 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Power is a self-fullfilling prophecy. You tell yourself a girl is the best you're ever going to get and she becomes just that.

Not to go all poetic on you but it reminds me of the old game of thrones quote

"Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick. A shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow"

[–]The_Noble_Lie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great quote. Continuing along the analogy in the optimistic sense; great men can also cast a tiny shadow. Get out there and be confident, mold out a place for yourself without harming others (while being very honest with yourself) and youll be just fine. Theres a lot of great men here.

Women or no women. Of course, if youre doing it right and you make interacting with society somewhat part of your plan, itll come naturally eventually.

[–]MormonRedPill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's where you get the effect of girls who only have male friends. She knows she can inflict her unpleasant personality upon men and the men will just take hit after hit, because on some level those men imagine they'll get with her. For her, being around other girls is a lot more work, not because—as she claims—"girls are too much drama," but because girls won't put up with her repugnant personality; they have no desire to mate with her.

[–]smirk_addict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think most men fall into those categories.

[–]red_matrix 22 points23 points  (0 children)

These days women act like bitches, walk all over (most men) and reign supreme as Queen's of the club scene. Stay away from night clubs, unless your in the top 1% of men. There's better places to get laid. I also think this sub has evolved beyond getting laid to being the best version of yourself. It's your life after all, don't waste it on chasing pussy.

[–]DeontologicalSanders 32 points33 points  (3 children)

It is really important to understand that on the whole, women who are bitches absolutely do not disqualify themselves from genetic selection. Maybe from having a peaceful, healthy relationship; maybe from getting a guy as good as they might otherwise; but certainly not from having biological kids.

Behavior (being timid, weak, insecure, lacking ambition, etc.) disqualifies men from reproducing, but not women. Put quite simply, as long as she is not physically malformed or horrendously ugly, there will always be some chump with enough spending cash to keep her around long enough to fuck her/provide for kids that may or may not be his. In the dating/mating market, there are way more men that are sexually attracted to any given woman than there are men to whom that woman is sexually attracted. This by itself makes women economically scarce and inherently far more sought after than men.

To put it plainly, women can pretty much act how they want and be emotional, and no one cares. We don't hold them to nearly as high a standard as we do men; they know this, and act accordingly. It's just the way things have always been. The corollary to "no matter how hot she is, someone is sick of her shit" is more often than not "and putting up with it in exchange for some pussy".

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)


I'd rather a bitchy woman than a bitchy man, there's more value in a bitchy woman as bitchy men are not men lol

[–]HiFr0st 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Idk man, i came across TRP at around 2013, i was about 17 at the time.

It was a smaller sub, none of this chad stuff had really picked up. Atleast i felt like TRP was almost an "underground" thing. It helped me a lot at a time i had no father figure and the RP "truths" kinda fit in perfectly, didnt even go thru an anger phase

Now i feel like a spotlight has been shined upon TRP, and lots of people who havent done a day of applying any RP knowledge are posting stuff. Lots of posts seem to be more and more "extreme" in a way, and i feel like every month i need to be more and more critical of what i read, and who wrote it.

Now let me be clear, im far from a manly RP man, just that TRP has helped me tremendously, and really good posts still exist. Maybe its a byproduct of reading stuff on this sub for 5 years, but it feels like stuff is either repeated ad infinitum, or written by bitter people. One of my fears is to be stuck in an echo chamber, and its not something i want this sub to fall into.

So really, if i had any advice for someone who is starting TRP now, compared to 5 years ago, is to be very mindfull that some posts are almost fictional power fantasies, and that being stuck in echo chambers is very dangerous for your world view.

[–]TRP_AnswerTheCall 55 points56 points  (2 children)

I would say Fate is the hand you have been given. Destiny is what you decide to do with it.

[–]pencilcasserole 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hellboy is a good example. Fated to end the world, says 'fuck that imma kill monsters'

[–]saltyafrican 26 points27 points  (15 children)

Fate vs Destiny.

Most of us believe the freedom to make our own choices. That is why we choose our destiny.

Fate is basically the mindset that your life has already been preselected and whatever you do was fated to happen.

Are you religious to believe in fate over destiny?

[–]hipfash3 13 points14 points  (11 children)

Did you choose what color your skin would be? That's fate.

[–]pulsarkid[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Fate is the hand you're dealt.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s a deep question and a fair one at that. Fate does exist on some level. We don’t choose our parents or our biological sex. We are who we are but we don’t have a predetermined path.

[–]saltyafrican 5 points6 points  (8 children)


We are not discussing biological probability. We are discussing life choices and taking control of your life in relation to TRP.

Exercise, self improvement, earning income, gaming girls...this is not fate but one taking control of their destiny.

[–]hipfash3 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was trying to say, there are certain things you can't change. Those are fate. Of course you're in control of everything else. Like the four things you mentioned.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Yeah but he's right. Fate does set certain boundaries of which you can exist and manipulate yourself and the world around you to your liking, within those fateful bounds. If you're born paraplegic, you have certain bounds that you operate in that are outside of your control. You still control what happens within those bounds, but fate has largely decided a lot of what you can / can not do before you even get a say.

[–]CaptainBW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not so much one versus the other as it is a combination of both...there’s a very Yin & Yang type thing happening here

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 120 points121 points  (27 children)

  1. FATE

Fate is a made up reason that people made up to absolve themselves of responsibility. You make your own rules, you are not "fated" and neither is anyone else.

Rest is all great though.

[–]lll_lll_lll 118 points119 points  (10 children)

We are not all blank slates either. If you are 5’2, you could say you are fated to never play in the NBA. Simply not going to happen. All the determination in the world will not overcome that.

[–]holalexa 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I like the basketball analogy.

I think Fate is just what you call odds. If you are short, your odds of playing in the NBA are bad. It's useful to understand the time you have to overcome the odds because once you are above 35 there's no way you will be playing for NBA. Not impossible but highly improbable and here we talk about generalities.

It's just like the Wall. You are given certain time to make the most of what you got. If you are born with good genes, your odds are better.

I think that's one reason TRP tends to suggest solutions which are general in nature rather than extremes and rightly so.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Fate it's not the best word, even for that basketball analogy. Fate means you have a destiny that you can't escape. No matter what you do, it will happen and you've got no choice.

Fate is quite contrary to reality. Who you are, where you go, what you do, are all based on your choices. Your base personality develops early, and it doesn't change much as we age. What we want and like does change, but not our basic personality unless we suffer head trauma. Nothing is guiding you nor your life, it's a combination of random chance resulting in opportunity, and opportunity you manufacture for yourself. It's your choices that dictate which random and not so random events affect you.

Matty is right, fate is similar to god/religion in that it allows people to absolve themselves of responsibly when they fail or do something fucked up. I couldn't help it, it was inevitable. Fuck that, a choice somewhere was the impetus for that action. While the choices of others can affect you, your choices affect you more. Genetic traits are not fate, you are what you are, and you can either make yourself into something you think is beneficial, or not. Fate is a copout

[–]360NoSnooper 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Took it from my mind. You create your own fate, betas wait for it to fuck them. Either go and make your fate on your rules, or wait for it to make you on it's rules. Both is right, but we all know which is better. It's your choice.

Or, we couls say: it's faith's choice. Na-ah.

Overall, good post.

[–]NibblyPig 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Yes, but the op isn't making that point, they're saying we all have different paths through life so you can't assign a measure of success in absolute terms.

Like, you can't say if you fuck 10 women a month that is success. One guys mission might be to live in the woods, one guy might have been partying it up since he was a kid and thus meet girls non stop.

Fate isn't an excuse for not fucking 10 women a month, since you should do whatever you want but don't hold yourself to the standards of another person in a different situation.

If you meet a unicorn and are in a 5 year LTR that doesn't make you less of a man less alpha or less successful than someone that fucks different 2 girls a week.

[–]o0joshua0o 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think OP is using the word fate, but he really means will'. What is it that you really and truly want to pursue in life, in your heart of hearts? Maybe it's not pickups or a relationship, and that's okay. Confidently pursue your self-determined purpose

[–]pabz_is_keww 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. Fate is a mental construct of the weak and the lazy. Make your own fate.

[–]clavabot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fate is lie told by the gods

[–]selux 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only fate we all have is inevitable death. Memento mori

[–]harry_lawson 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Not necessarily. A not-so-common philosophical belief is ‘Hard Determinism’ which argues that we don’t even have free will as humans due to cause and effect. Interesting stuff.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (2 children)

A not-so-common philosophical belief is ‘Hard Determinism’ which argues that we don’t even have free will as humans due to cause and effect. Interesting stuff.

Yeah. God this is tough. Because when you say "you are deterministic and random, there is no such thing as free will", people act differently to "you are in charge of your own destiny and can decide for yourself".

Personally I believe in hard determinism. Plus inherent randomness. But no such thing as free will.... free will just has no meaning when you break it down.

But as soon as you say "hard determinism is fate and it's predetermined"... something inherently true... people choose to be apathetic. Which is an odd response if you think about it. It's like we as humans cannot comprehend or have no concept for "deterministic INCLUDING your own actions"

[–]averagenoodle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think when OP says Fate, it isn't the mystical belief that we're used to hearing about, rather it's things that are out of your control (her feelings, her emotions etc.) And no matter how well you do in a scenario some things are just out of your control but still affect you.

[–]Aywing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on how you define it, for me it is the path you find yourself walking in when you're giving it your all and focusing on what truly matters, do it long enough and the noise disappears, your decision making becomes less dependent on pros & cons and more on gut feeling, and somehow it always works out.

[–]TheAC997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He seems to be talking about listening to your subconsciousness, and not fighing too hard against natural tendencies

[–]2CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Some things have changed for the better:

  • you now aren't mocked for acknowledging and believing in alpha/beta males and behaviours. As recently as 2012 people would laugh at you and groups of people would mock you. But now its just too obvious as most people have seen the power law differences in number of likes on facebook and matches on tinder.

  • In 2012 you could not criticise feminists AT ALL. Like one friend heard I said something against feminism in 2013 and I faced tremendous negative social consequences. But things changed slowly. Now lots of people think a lot of feminists are crazy. And its quite mainstream now to talk about the gender pay gap not being accurate representation of reality and preferences. I still remember when the first video that made feminists look bad went mainstream on r / videos in like 2014, it was the beginning of a seismic shift.

  • The media has only gotten worse. When I watch BBC news there are 3 main stories. ALWAYS one of them is about feminism and how we aren't doing enough, and usually one of the other reports is semi-feminist in nature. Also the universities and schools have gotten worse. It used to be that Obama forced Title IX on universities. Now Trump has reversed Title IX and the universities are saying they will not follow and will continue to enforce Title IX. TRP used to talk about Title IX a lot but now doesn't.

  • The cultural marxists have jumped the gun with all this 'white fragility' 'male fragility' stuff. It only hurts them. But on the other hand, I do now see tweets with 100K retweets saying things along the line of "kill all men".

  • Gyms have changed due to social media. In 2013 London I struggled to find a squat rack in London!!! I found a couple gyms with ONE rack, each was £80/month and £500 upfront cost. Now there are low cost gyms everywhere, for £20/month with no upfront cost, each with 4 power-racks and huge free weight sections. Protein powder is now mainstream - I used to get shamed for using it. People thought it was cheating, or steroids, or pathetic, or whatever. Now supermarkets have small aisles for it.

[–]okuli 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you now aren't mocked for acknowledging and believing in alpha/beta males and behaviours

In USA it's a taboo, you can't mention it with colleagues, friends, etc. Maybe with close friends you established rapport you can discuss that stuff. Try mentioning alpha/beta on AskMen as an experiment.

[–]falecf4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here he is...I found Chad! OP said you don't exist. At the time I wasn't aware of any of the things you just pointed out but looking back you are right on.

Not sure why your other comment got deleted.

[–]Volt52121 1 points1 points [recovered]

FATE is what I never see talked about much in this community.

TRP advocates owning your shit. Becoming 100% fully self-validated. It's quite hard to achieve and really takes years of mental awareness. Truth is, there's nothing clear about adulthood, or inter-gender dynamics, or society and life in general. Everyone is just winging it with more and more hindsight. This is why certain things become clearer as we get older, but tons of other things are still not in our control. Ascribing AWALT or Hypergamy theories are really just a way to deal with some of the things that are NOT in our control.

[–]AJ_Ak47 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Your needs matter alot"

All my life my friends tried to help me pick up women, it wasn't until I realized, I matter just as much as the girl I'm trying to pursue, and I matter more to myself than the girl I'm trying to pursue; that's when I started having success and truly applying what I learned.

[–]redrogue12 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Bunch of triggered people because of a word.

[–]o0joshua0o 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Excellent post with some really good points!

I like the emphasis on pursuing your own needs rather than anyone else's. It's fine to pick up women, but if your only sense of self-worth comes from that activity, you need to work on yourself.

[–]BaronRyder 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This should go in the sidebar

[–]thewayshegoesbahd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First TRP post ive seen I could really relate to in months. Great post.

[–]screwston281 10 points11 points  (11 children)

You're right about fate though.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 9 points10 points  (10 children)

I’m interested to hear more opinions about this. My current view is that much of what we call fate is just the shit you’re currently too powerless to control. But conceivably if you pulled your head out of your ass you could seize the reigns of what you now call “fate”. Belief in “fate” like this is what creates this incel community bullshit. They just believe it’s their fate. So I’m deeply skeptical of the idea although I won’t entirely dismiss it. Thoughts anyone?

[–]WastingTimeHereAgain 6 points7 points  (2 children)

There's multiple studies suggesting that humans may not even have free will

Many scientists say that the American physiologist Benjamin Libet demonstrated in the 1980s that we have no free will. It was already known that electrical activity builds up in a person’s brain before she, for example, moves her hand; Libet showed that this buildup occurs before the person consciously makes a decision to move. The conscious experience of deciding to act, which we usually associate with free will, appears to be an add-on, a post hoc reconstruction of events that occurs after the brain has already set the act in motion.

However, to complicate things, whether or not you believe in free will can impact your actions.

Yes, indeed. When asked to take a math test, with cheating made easy, the group primed to see free will as illusory proved more likely to take an illicit peek at the answers. When given an opportunity to steal—to take more money than they were due from an envelope of $1 coins—those whose belief in free will had been undermined pilfered more. On a range of measures, Vohs told me, she and Schooler found that “people who are induced to believe less in free will are more likely to behave immorally.”

In another study, for instance, Vohs and colleagues measured the extent to which a group of day laborers believed in free will, then examined their performance on the job by looking at their supervisor’s ratings. Those who believed more strongly that they were in control of their own actions showed up on time for work more frequently and were rated by supervisors as more capable. In fact, belief in free will turned out to be a better predictor of job performance than established measures such as self-professed work ethic.

So it seems its best to believe you can change your fate, but don't fault others or yourself too much if you fail.

[–]fakenate1 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I am fated to never be a US senator. My grandfather died homeless on the streets, the ORange county Sheriff ran my father the hippie out of town so many times, that his shitty hearse would be pull over as soon as he crossed the border.

my family isn’t prestigious enough to do anything like that. No matter how much I pull my head out of my ass I will never be a senator from California.

There are lots of things we can control, there are tons more we cannot.

[–]RedKingRising 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Do you want to be a senator from California? I don't want to be a NASA astronaut, a cowboy or a computer programmer. I don't consider that part of my fate worth mentioning. Seems irrelevant.

[–]earlsinclairisdead 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is definitely post of the day.

[–]dingman58 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good, rational post from somebody who's been in it for years. Thanks

[–]dinnerwithfunions 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nice post man. I’ve been around myself since 2009ish when I started reading/posting on the DJ forums. To this day I still think the book of pook is bible tier when it comes to self improvement and pick up. Read the game too but it was more of a fun story than theory to me.

Also on point ten.. lots of us don’t realize it due to the disappointment, but fucking up is the best way to learn. If you’re not fucking up you’re not challenging yourself. Embrace failure because it shows you dared to take a step up toward progression.

[–]SgtBrutalisk 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Feminist pushback is due to political influence any organized group of men exerts.

[–]saibot83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just look at current day film and tv, hell... all media. Nothing but insidious propaganda.

[–]AnyDoughnut 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Good post.

11: Be more selective in the vaginas you stick your pickle into. Many new red piller's seem to want to work on quantity. Sure, banging new vagina is tons of fun, but exercise your better judgement. Even if a broad is hot, what's between her legs isn't worth drama or headaches. If your gut is telling you to stay away from a broad for whatever reason, back off of her. Don't let your pickle do the thinking for you.

[–]A_yoshi_Egg 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Redpill preaches power in the hands of the beholder. FATE does not apply. Redpill theory in practice will help you change your "fate."

[–]restorerofmorality 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I don't know if this is welcome here, but I'll say it anyway. I tried to get into TRP but it's just overwhelming to me. It seems like a lot of it is just having to totally bullshit your way through it. I've accepted this is how things are, how the game works. But I'm just not made for it.

One great thing is that this sub has helped motivate me to start working out again and regularly. But as much as I like girls and like getting laid, it just doesn't feel worth it, especially in today's climate. I've seen posts here, either in guides or stories, talking about making sure to send a girl a text the following morning to give yourself insurance against false rape accusations. What the fuck. The fact that is necessary fucking scares me - why do I even want to remotely risk being in that position? Or what if a condom breaks and pregnancy happens. Or I'm told I got her pregnant and it wasn't even me. Or I get an STD, which condoms do not always protect against it?

Sorry but it's just not worth it to me. Godspeed to all of you. But unless/until there's a major societal shift, I'm just gonna be jerkin' it.

[–]thetompain 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Incels are just guys that haven't even begun to start trying. They are lost. The people talking about them have some weird agenda. Just ignore them.

This x100. Incels are being used by shadowy leftist groups to create a narrative where people like Jordan Peterson are creating these alt-right incel terrorists. It really is propaganda.

[–]gains_o_clock 2 points3 points  (1 child)

great post honestly and a good read, btw what is a DLV spike?

[–]pulsarkid[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Display of lower value. Pickup term.

Mystery said it only takes ONE DLV spike to ruin your chances with a woman. He's mostly right.

[–]throw_it_away_like 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I got into pickup in the late 90s when I found Ross Jefferies stuff in the bowels of the internet. It really worked well back then since nobody had even heard of it or believed it worked and the way you met women was going out to clubs and you had limited competition from the other guys there that night.

Now with hookup apps and what not, it's much more about how you look than anything else and the top 20% of guys have a whole automated supply chain of women to fuck and the rest have to get the leftovers or at least women looking to settle down with some good enough beta bucks.

Porn is bad because it is a huge waste of time. Fap if needed, but don't waste hours browsing porn.

Don't do gay stuff unless you're gay. It's just going to screw with your head and make your life more complicated.

Fate is overrated. Have a vision for your future.

Incels are a depopulation plot. Low value guys should go to Latin America or South East Asia and live it up for awhile to see the whole world doesn't have the awful gender dynamics of America.

[–]pmmedenver 3 points4 points  (0 children)

SJW and Incel are different sides of the same coin. Both are confused, lost unfuckable weirdos that vigorously waste their precious time and resources on a lost cause.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If you are not getting laid, because you can't and no woman would even touch you with a stick you are the epitome of a looser and that will never change.

If you got women left and right wanting you to fuck them, but you refrain for logical reasons that's another story.

There is nothing like "fate". Self-fullfilling prophecies, born out of self-delusion, yes, fate, no.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fate is not some ethereal concept that just happens to you. It's manipulating what you do have to put yourself in a better standing.

Most of the time what happens to you is directly in your control

[–]averagenoodle 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Can someone elucidate the "Porn" bit? And why is it bad?

[–]1Revo_Luzione 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Porn is a "supernormal stimulus" from an evolutionary perspective. It creates dopamine highs that are far above what our ancient ancestors would have experienced, which is what makes it addictive and damaging, by rewiring your dopamine circuits to desire an ever-increasing stimuli load. It's a vicious cycle.

Further, orgasming to porn as opposed to with a real person does not release the balancing hormonal effects of oxytocin and vasopressin, which mediates the dopamine overload.

[–]o0joshua0o 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sounds like the sexual equivalent of refined sugar

[–]brocklanders3791 9 points10 points  (1 child)

zero-effort exaggerated, perfected, idealistic and unrealistic fantasies damage any/all future healthy relationship(s). you'll have a very, VERY difficult time having, keeping or obtaining a relationship (in any capacity) with a girl who is "less than perfect" because you've trained your brain to achieve what you want without having to "deal with" her looks or behavior.

[–]SgtBrutalisk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Orgasming to porn short-circuits brain patterns.

[–]jshtx2117 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The failures are stepping stones to success.

[–]falecf4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, 2008, back when I was considered a "metrosexual" for grooming myself and caring how I looked.

The book The Game changed my life. Mystery Method was too formulaic even for more analytical self. The Mystery tv show though had enough good examples that you could follow that path to get started. It was on VH1 I believe.

[–]Ch1pp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pay attention to subtext. SUBTEXT.

I don't know if that was meant to be ironic but it made me laugh.

[–]BlackFallout 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the things that really started standing out to me was how I look at girls. I used to be with girls just because they are pretty, that was enough for me. Then after failure after failure I realized deep down I hated those women for their fucked up personalities. I didn't even know a pretty girl that was also a good person with a nice personality existed. I just stayed in the relationship and dealt with these girls dumb bullshit because that's all I knew. Trying to find a pretty girl that isn't a stupid cunt is fucking impossible. Recently I met one girl like that. I don't want to say she was a unicorn but fuck if that's not what it felt like. She actually inspired me to get back in shape and I lost 37lbs over the last 6 months and started school to finish my HVAC engineering. I'm not going to fuck with her. I can go back being amazing and start taking care of myself like I should have been doing. People ask my how I'm doing and I say amazing. The thing is I really mean it when I say it.

[–]qwertyuiop111222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Women have to carry a baby for nine months. That's why this all seems like so much work. If you don't like it, strive or get to know your bisexual side.

Oh, cracks me up! Well said!

[–]UnfriendlySoloutions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the first level headed post I have seen in a while on this sub. Good stuff

[–]Nautica51o 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was exactly what I needed to hear.

I just turned 20 but I feel like I've come to learn a lot of this and that now it's just a matter of time and investment before I become someone who's great. I feel like what you talked about is what many people over complicate and that you simply have to trust the process. This could narrow down to anything from girls or even a passion. If a girl's into you she won't make you dance and jump through hoops, I wouldn't waste my time on them. Likewise, if you do what you are truly drawn to you'll find a way to become successful, maybe it might not open up immediately. Trust the process. Be patient.

I say this because I make music, beats more so. It's something I couldn't pour enough of my time into and I know that the more time I put into my craft, the greater the pay off (not monetarily speaking). I want to be the best and I know I can do it. I'm not scared of failure, I don't let my successes inflate my ego, and most of all I don't doubt myself.

I think that I have the right mindset and that people are always trying to test me against mine. They're always fighting to dominate a frame but these are all distractions from the reality of who you really are as a person which is something you work on, it is something you build, you bleed and pour countless hours of energy and sweat into and that when you become that person no one can shake that, there is no denying reality.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm personally trying to develop psychic abilities. Its not that weird, back in the sixties there was a lot more experimental efforts like this and that's where recycling came from and a bunch of other stuff.

Anyways I'm just saying women won't lead us to a new and better place. I'm convinced they ruined the space program by making it lame. The whole point of exploration is to leave those dumb bossy hags far behind. Just ask Columbus or the Vikings.

[–]mertiy 3 points4 points  (7 children)

You lost me at the fate part

[–]Gozsayin 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He just saying everyone gonna have a different life. Your fate is usually in your own hands though but naturally we all can't all be Chad.

[–]redpill_quest 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I thought he lost me too, but what he means is probably that you can't change your genetic lottery too much. True. Luck and genetics sometimes are too strong to become successful. You can always try your best though, what else can you do anyway?

[–]alucard1uk 8 points9 points  (4 children)

I kind of took it as not everyone is going to fulfilled by cars or material goods or their job. Find what your calling is and what you love, not what everyone else is saying or telling you to do. Essentially, do what the fuck you want (within reason).

[–]positivecrystal 1 point2 points  (3 children)

you give me a lambo and i will be fulfilled for years.

[–]alucard1uk 2 points3 points  (1 child)

More a mustang kinda guy myself :P

[–]telytuby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou for this post it’s great- you might need to clarify the fate part however. Interestingly no one has picked up on the part that really stuck out to me which was that this used to be about picking up girls, not about some of the shit that’s recently been posted.

[–]jeffwingersballs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This isn't a community just for conservatives or liberals. It transcends those boundaries.

Yes, if you are liberal and you want to improve, by all means, but it seems to me that side of the aisle is against masculine improvement.

[–]Hibear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women have to carry a baby for nine months. That's why this all seems like so much work. If you don't like it, strive or get to know your bisexual side.

If you don't like it, strive or get to know your bisexual side.

I seriously don’t agree with this pretty preposterous statement

[–]Gozsayin 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]DarkWhale___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post

[–]ZahrGhould 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the shit that keeps this sub legible. Thank you

[–]Aywing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loved your focus on individuality and capitalizing on your strengths, solid no BS advice, thanks!

[–]danoranika 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To expand on your fate narrative, it comes down to personality type. People scoring high in openness will want to have different experiences than those high in conscientiousness.

[–]Alpha_Jedi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An interesting topic...I agree with some of these points but I think the important questions to ask is where is this all headed? The PUA's inadvertently gave rise to the Red Pill, but where is the Red Pill heading and giving rise to? Some interesting food for thought...

[–]yeolderazzledazzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Masterpiece. Highly evolved. Thank you.

[–]Shaney96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What fucks me off is the hamster telling me "you're just making excuses" if I don't do all of X, Y, and Z. This just adds to fucking anxiety as I'm out. "See that girl you really dig? So what if she's with a bunch of friends and you haven't socialized in a couple of weeks and feel anxious, go hit on her!".

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