Red Pill TheoryThe EASIEST way to Cure Approach Anxiety: Cold Approach Pickup is Chess (self.TheRedPill)
submitted 1 year ago * by [deleted]
I've finally done it. I've managed to put into words and metaphor an idea I've had brewing for a long time. Were going to talk about curing the number one thing that holds dudes back with women: approach anxiety.
Before we can cure approach anxiety we have to understand why you feel it. The only reason guys have approach anxiety is because they feel vulnerable when going up to a woman at first. And lets be honest, if you don't know what you're doing and just hoping it will work out, YOU ARE VULNERABLE. Guys will try to "psych themselves out of it" and trick their brain into not being anxious but THIS DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN HAS A GOOD REASON TO BE ANXIOUS. If you go up to that girl incorrectly, and she decides to humiliate you, she can, and I see it happen all the time. Many Women actually get a kick out of doing this. So how do you defend yourself? Go into all approaches with a zero sum mindset. A zero sum game is one where there is only one winner, anything that helps your opponent hurts you. Think of chess. You are not in this to help women, but you are also not necessarily in it to hurt women, you are simply oblivious to what effect it has on the woman and focused solely on your own interests. Many so called "guru's" will tell you to go into an interaction with women with a "win-win" mindset. To the newbie starting out not only is this unhelpful but its actually DETRIMENTAL to his success because all hes gonna go in as is a nice guy and then when the average cunty chick shuts him down he has absolutely no response. He walks away defeated and crushed. It affects his state as much as he tries and denies it, as much as he trys to sour grape his way out of it saying "I wouldnt want her anyways". This is toxic and something must be DONE!
Look, there are 3 options you and the girl have when going into an interaction: Nice, Neutral, Mean. Never go into a cold approach nice unless you've already mastered what I'm talking about. Its always safest to go in neutral. Its like chess, you are neither overextending yourself nor are you not being aggressive enough, it is perfectly balanced. What do I mean by neutral "Hey hows it going?" Keep it simple. What you say doesnt matter as long as its neutral. Youre just moving the chess pieces forward preparing for the endgame (fucking her).
Now here's why you wont have any more approach anxiety: THE GIRL ONLY HAS THOSE THREE OPTIONS and you will already have a strategic response for each. Its so fucking simple when you break it down like this...
Green light (nice): easy to work with, youve somehow managed to stumble upon a girl who is being genuinely nice. This is a layup, continue pumping her state, then escalate, isolate and close.
Yellow light (neutral): smartest move on her part and pretty common. It doesnt help you but it doesnt hurt you, biggest thing you have to watch out for is the interaction becoming boring because you're both being so neutral, so after she responds back neutral you need to say or do something slightly outlandish (could be just by escalating) but with plausible deniability such that you POLARIZE and then pressure her on which ever side she decides to take. You are forcing her to take a stance on what you said or did (either green light or red), making her react TO YOU and then you pressure her on that reaction. If she goes to green then fine, you can continue pumping the vibe and then isolate and close like you would with green. If she goes red then you hold frame and call her out. When you push this "line", you expose her vulnerabilities and thereby display your dominance and power. Attraction ensues, isolate, polarize more, and close.
Red Light (Cunt): This is what dudes are so afraid of but to me its actually one of the funnest "lines" to play. And if youre having fun, then chances are your play will improve. The girl has just put herself into a vulnerable position because she was betting you wouldn't do what I'm going to tell you to do because she thinks youre a pussy and will back down. But youre not a pussy because you listened to what SWTDO told you and you learned to fucking slay with women, especially the cunty ones who want to be dominated. All you have to do here is hold frame and call her out. Thats it, do not deviate from the fact that you a decent person, just walked up to have a friendly conversation and now she met that neutral friendliness with unnecessary cuntiness. Whats the frame that youre holding? "I am an attractive guy that is offering something (social interaction, sexual interaction, conversation) to this girl in a socially acceptable way". So you were justified in approaching her, you dont have to apologize for being social and talking to any girl. Dont let them try and make you think this. So how do you call her out? An example would be a quick quip that exploits one of her weaknesses, while also reinforcing the fact that she was rude. "And thats why youre single sweetie." Or if shes late twenties or older, bring up her age while maintaining she was rude, "I know they say old women are shrill but I didn't believe them until now." Try it or something similar and hold frame, they will REACT SO HARD. If they are outraged, good youre winning, they are once again going to overextend and you can take advantage of this tactically. Chess metaphor starting to make sense? Its a lot easier to turn anger into attraction than it is to turn indifference into attraction. Furthermore when they are angry it is a perfect opportunity to show your high value by holding frame in the face of their tantrum, finding it funny like shes a cute little kid and continuing to fuck with her. "Aww, youre too easy to mess with..."
[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillcad 96 points97 points98 points 1 year ago (2 children)
I'm a Ross Jeffereies fan. NLP works.
"Lets go see what happens" is the right outcome independent attitude. Make it about the below facts
1 You want to meet the woman
2 You dont know what will happen
3 You dont like that you dont know what will happen
You will get what you want or enjoy learning what you need to get what you want.
The worst that will happen is that nothing will happen.
[–]SomeCoolNickname 1 points1 points1 points 1 year ago [recovered]
What would you recommend for reading up on NLP (preferably with depth)?
[–]fblackstone 191 points192 points193 points 1 year ago (15 children)
Every approach is a fight.
"How much can you really know about yourself if you haven' t been in a fight? "
[–]dumbkidaccount 89 points90 points91 points 1 year ago (9 children)
Self improvement is masturbation
[–]O--- 29 points30 points31 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Guess I'm a officially a chronic masturbator then!
[–]anvorob 14 points15 points16 points 1 year ago (5 children)
Can this be other way around? A lot of guys would be self improving every night.
[–]AshyLarry27 36 points37 points38 points 1 year ago (4 children)
This quote its very misinterpreted. Tyler is probably talking about people who "talk" about self improvement instead of living it. Notice when you start talking to people about how you plan to do x,y, and z for yourself. You feel good. Then you plan it out and you feel a little better. Nothing actually happened. You just made a plan and imagined how it would go. Then most people at this point go back to doing BS because the instant gratification of planning and talking about your goals and how you will improve yourself came and went . . . just like masturbation. No action was taken
[–]Subbs 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (1 child)
That's an interesting interpretation though the original quote probably really is just meant to be taken at face value. Tyler was all about hitting rock bottom to achieve freedom which naturally would put him at odds with people who spend a substantial amount of time working on their appearance (as the quote was in response to a Tommy Hilfiger ad).
In his view self-improvement is probably something people do solely for external validation and something they become gradually dependent on (linking in with the "things you own end up owning you" mentality).
On the surface it seems like a profound quote but IMO it's entirely flawed and hypocritical and designed to be. Especially given that the person who says it is Brad fucking Pitt and quite literally already looks like the model in the ad. Given that he's just an idealized version of the Narrator (oops, spoiler I guess) it also reveals that in spite of the Narrator scoffing at the ad he really would like to look like the model.
[–]AshyLarry27 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I knew it had something to do with the idea that your improving yourself so that "other" people approve, but couldn't nail it like this.
I was reading research before on how people who talked about their goals to others instead of keeping them a secret never actually met their goals because they were already given the dopamine hit of someone saying "good job" for just telling them their plan. I must have combined that idea along with that article when I couldn't remember some of the better explanations Ive read on that quote
[–]Cirez_D 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Nice, hadn't thought about it that way before!
[–]111Dx 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
But self Destruction is something.👊
[–]kaazsssz 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (3 children)
Quick question: I grew up fighting. Literally, I was a loner and I’d get jumped by groups of my bullies whose asses I kicked already. My first fight was like 4th grade, and I got suspended and arrested for fighting countless times.
With that quote in mind, I’m wondering what I’m supposed to have learned about myself as a result of all this. In my mind, it’s kind of a get back up when you’re down thing. Fail at an approach of a woman and just do it again and again. Something I need to do. But since I have lots of fighting experience maybe there’s some nugget I’m not understanding that would help me.
In any case this post did help, but this comment specifically piques my interest because of how I grew up. I’m not even sure what I’m saying right now lol. Just that I guess there’s some lesson I’ve learned from fighting but I don’t know what lesson that is?
[–]sighkalopsia 11 points12 points13 points 1 year ago (0 children)
That you’re not a victim and other people can’t make you feel any other way 🤷🏻♂️
[–]Lick_Samba 1 points1 points1 points 1 year ago [recovered]
Same here. I've been shot at, stabbed, beaten to within an inch of my life, been in combat, I've smuggled drugs across international borders, I've been sky diving, bungie jumping, mountain climbing, raced cars, been in jail, done sales, and been the singer in bands which performed in front of hundreds of people at a time. Yet when I approach or talk to women I become a stuttering blundering imbecile no matter how much I rationalize it. It's like I am trapped inside my mind, witnessing the scene of an accident I am involved in, yet have no control over. While I am totally logical and not afraid or anxious at all, I just crumble and deteriorate into an idiot in front of attractive women. In my mind I know what to do and say, yet I have no control over myself and it's like those stories you hear when people wake up during surgery and they are aware of everything that's going on, but can't move or react. I just don't get it. Even a short simple sentence will become a stuttering mess.
[–]good_guy_submitter 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children)
My dick is 10 inches long but I can't have sex while flaccid.
[–]420KUSHBUSH 66 points67 points68 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Very insightful, ShitsWithTheDoorOpen. Coherent and well put
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Gotta show dominance. Always in all ways.
[–]i4mn30 35 points36 points37 points 1 year ago (14 children)
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Re: Mean Case Example: I was talking to this girl, and she is a firecracker. I looked at her and she's actually pretty good looking at just actually probably bitchy to some guys. So I looked at her and said your a bitch aren't you? Started laughing and play punching me. Later on tonight she said "we should all get together with me and my friends"and I called her out for saying "I'm not ready to give your friends a baby and a citizenship" (she's an English-speaking foreigner and I called her out for one the more common scams out there). So that's an example.
[–]monadyne 50 points51 points52 points 1 year ago (3 children)
This is the era of #metoo ---why are you contemplating trying to date girls at the office? You could lose your job... or worse.
Hit on girls at some other office!
[–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points 1 year ago (2 children)
That's what the #metoo movement wants you to think. They're subconsciously trying to scare off all the faggots
[–]AuntieXhrist 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
POI, by chance are you a self-hating faggot since you brought IT up?
[–]machyv 1 points1 points1 points 1 year ago [recovered]
Why are we all worried about girls knowing our intentions? Everyone on earth knows about sex and why guys talk to girls. Yes it’s true to be attractive, be confident, be funny. I’m actually not a fan of the shit eating grin for my style. I grin ear to ear and my eyes say the rest. Because I just love talking to girls. Guys too. Strangers really. It’s fun to flirt with anyone. Go make a 70 year old at the grocery store feel sexy. Like actually insinuate you want to fuck her. That is fun. She loves it, you’re both laughing. Then I smile and wave as I walk off and finish my grocery shopping. Obviously don’t say hey I want to fuck you right now. That doesn’t work on anybody. Watch Craig Ferguson videos on YouTube. His is my style. Just relaxed witty dude. I have no problem telling a girl things she already knows. Things that a lot of guys here like to withhold. You’re gorgeous. Look at you. Type stuff. I ask them to turn around. Wow, I know lots of people who would love to have asked you that. I’m having so much fun, you have to really try not to have fun around me.
[–]yazen_ 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (2 children)
Greg Ferguson style is on another level. You Gotta be a real extrovert and quick witted to pull it off.
[–]good_guy_submitter 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I could never be as fun as Craig Ferguson. Because I'm not Craig Ferguson. I'm more fun, because I am me and actively seeking out being fun.
[–]kaazsssz 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Oh man, thanks for mentioning Craig Ferguson. Just looked him up, he’s great!
[–]1CCJ22 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children)
You have lost your mind hitting on a girl under the same HR umbrella as you.
[–]ReformSociety 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child)
A conversation starter could include that you're looking to pursue some new hobbies and ask if she has any recommendations. Replace "hobbies" with music, movies, books, TV shows, restaurants, bars.
Then follow up, asking what she likes about said suggestion.
[–]yazen_ 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I would not recommend asking any woman for a good spot. I dealt with many women from different ages, they all tell me that they love when the guy knows his shit and make good plans. I would rather recommend asking her about her interests, or things that are obvious from her appearance, and if you happen to known more about that stuff, recommend a place or an activity. I matched with this girl on tinder lately, who said on her bio she loves coffee, and I happen to know a very cool theme coffee place in my city, she loved it. Now. She'll recommend it to her acquaintances and every time she thinks about that coffee place, she'll remember you.
[+][deleted] comment score below threshold-6 points-5 points-4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
"Hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi, would you like to grab a drink sometime"
[–][deleted] 32 points33 points34 points 1 year ago (11 children)
Me: "and that is way you are single swetie.' Her: "I ain't single, you look like you are" Me: "... [Fuck she got me]
[–]Casanova-Quinn 26 points27 points28 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Her: "I ain't single, you look like you are"
Her: "I ain't single, you look like you are"
You: "Yeah, and after talking with you I'm happy to be single."
[–]Nocryingok 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (8 children)
Thank god I am. So I can choose to only date fun girls and not the... boring hags (look into her eyes in the last sentence)
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (7 children)
Yeah but i need to come up with this in 2 secs.
[–]Imadeathtrap 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (5 children)
Watch more comedians. Plain and simple. They are the quick witt professionals
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (4 children)
Lmao did watch em a lot, doesn't help. Sometimes i have good responses and sometimes i don't.
[–]Imadeathtrap -2 points-1 points0 points 1 year ago (3 children)
Other than being potentially bi-polar. I would suggest looking into treating your anxiety. (Bi polar was a joke but seriously sounds like you need to look up basic remedies for anxiety; not thinking in absolutes, picturing worst case scenario).
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
Ha, i always new i was bipolar, coz sometimes i don't have any social anxiety, confidence of a god and extreme mental focus (can hold frame no matter what), quick talking and comprehension. Or i'm just neurotic.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (1 child)
I mean at a party this shouldn't really be a problem. When im tipsy i can talk for days. Start with that i would say.
And stop with this bipolar/anxiety crap. Every normal human has FEELINGS.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Alcohol doesn't lower my inhibitions at all. Last time i tried to be more social at a party, i was drinking and it was just more anxiety inducing. I left for an hour then came back and i was just absent minded and angry at anybody that was trying to talk to me. Everyone tought 'wat a fucking weirdo'. Finally i went home and everything was better. I cannot stand new people i guess. Like there was this old lady at the table and everyone was eating except me and she asked me "why you don't eat?". And i replied "i don't have appetite". She wonders " how come u don't have appetite when there is so many goodies on the table?" and i was quite but legit wanted to kill her right there. So yeah no more alcohol for me i guess.
[–]Nocryingok 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
It helps if it's true, or something that you've experienced before. That's why you need to go out more.
This exact same shit test has happened to me and I have answered with "Thank god", because I've thought of this beforehand: I really AM glad to be single!
[–]ZomCom13 33 points34 points35 points 1 year ago* (2 children)
To me, one way to boil this down is to look at it like this:
"If you want a woman, she does not want you. If you don't want a woman, then she wants you."
What I mean by this is, women are instinctively and naturally disgusted with desparate fuckboys that approach them and their pathetic tryhard attempts to get laid. Men that suck-up to them, are spineless, never say no, or don't stand up for themselves to these women. This plus the whole Feminine Empowerment movement creates a class of bitchy Mega-Cunts in today's toxic dating environment.
To deal with toxic cunts that won't give you the time of day if all you're doing is simply saying hello or striking up small talk, I've found that reflecting their rejection back at them is utterly satisfying. Instead of not saying anything and slinking away like a "nice guy," fling it back in their face. Forget taking the high road. If they are rude, you can be like "Well, SOMEONE got off the WRONG side of the BED! /smirk + wink" or "Must be that time of the month." or Scoff at them and chuckle to yourself. Make fun of them at THEIR expense, but still do it in a playful way that isn't overly hostile (they were rude to you, so you simply returned fire). Do this with the most arrogant, smug, shit-eating grin you can naturally pull off. Not saying to be narcissistic, but flowing with self-confidence. The key here is you must show that her rejection of you leaves you UNFAZED. You are putting her in her place by breaking that bitch with your words, and you are UNAPOLOGETIC, showing that you have a good defense to protect your ego from her intrusions. You don't even need to be a master of your own Self-Confidence to pull this off. Remember, it's how you are PERCEIVED, not how you actually ARE.
My 2 Cents.
[–]huckleberry_78 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child)
If you want to show that her rejection of you leaves you UNFAZED, you don’t need to say anything. If you need to be a shitty person back to her because she was shitty to you, then she is FAZiNG you bro.
[–]ZomCom13 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Making a quip or a verbal response to a stuck-up cunt isn't for everyone. I do what I do because that's what satisfies me. If you define "fazing" as any sort of visible reaction incurred at all, then perhaps that's what meets your definition of such. My "definition" of "fazing" is that when a cunt sticks her nose up at simply saying hello, I don't get butthurt about it, and I play it as a game. Is it petty? Maybe. Is it fun? To me, fuck yea!
[–]Eperty123 24 points25 points26 points 1 year ago (1 child)
This is rather interesting. Got introduced to TRP and currently reading TRM as the handbook had a lot of reference from the book.
I'm a guy trying to figure out Game hence why I got into this. Problem is as you say the approach anxiety. When I do approach it's either win or lose depending on her reaction. Gonna see how this works out tonight!
[–]Aaron_Aero 24 points25 points26 points 1 year ago (10 children)
This was a pretty good read. It was well explained and executed in a easily digestible manner. I’d like it if you provide an example line to polarize away from yellow light.
[–]2ShitsWithTheDoorOpen 16 points17 points18 points 1 year ago* (9 children)
It completely depends on you, but pick something you are more knowledgeable about than she is so you can crush her. Its art of war, know what you are capable of and your opponent is capable of and you will never lose. Bring the battle to where you are strong and they are weak.
For instance, I could bring up gun rights because I am vastly more knowledgeable on that than the average bimbo and I'm very familiar with the arguments. Anything that the average normie would be afraid to say is polarizing. Bonus points if its funny. "I think these school shooters arent such a bad thing, ya know? Were overpopulated as it is. Its almost a service to society... I mean theyre only picking off the weak and fat kids who cant run, its practically eugenics. Plus we get to all talk about gun rights which is always a fun topic... Where do you stand on guns Mindy?" Humor, absurdity, completely not giving a fuck, and then pressure on her. 9/10 shes gonna fall into your frame if you say it right, women are simply not prepared for levels of game like this.
[–]DellaAbel 20 points21 points22 points 1 year ago (8 children)
Jesus, does doing that really work? Seems like mentioning that school shooters, joking or not, is a really sensitive topic for most people and would come off bad? I see the idea though, just wondering where the boundary lies.
[–]2ShitsWithTheDoorOpen 19 points20 points21 points 1 year ago (3 children)
Its all in how you say it. You say something outlandish and inflammatory but you say it like its the most normal thing in the world. Thats humor and yes it kills. Bill Burr does this type of thing a lot. Its impressive because you actually kind of end up agreeing with him on such an absurd thing. THATS social dominance.
[–]Nocryingok 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Talking about controversial topics only works if you are already a master in game. For noobs it's a complete disaster and it can ruin the night (happened to me twice in pre-TRP)
[–]DellaAbel 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Gotcha, thanks for the advice.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Presentation over words. I’ve told bitches to gtfo out of my bar and banged em shortly after.
Read up on powertalk. Trump is a perfect case study regardless whether you agree or not. Fucker is crazy like a fox.
[–]EdgyBravo 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
It’s an example, pull some shit from the news better than Jamie on the JRE and see for yourself.
[–]offbeast 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
that fear of coming off bad is the main thing you gotta deal with.
[–]DellaAbel 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Yeah, it's one of my main limiters, I'm fresh into TRP and working to eventually become who I always wanted to be.
[–]offbeast 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
cool man, well i wish you the best. enjoy becoming more woke than a transgender kendrick lamar singing "this is america" in high heels and a hijab
[–]GrimTRP 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (0 children)
"Its a lot easier to turn anger into attraction than it is to turn indifference into attraction" I've noticed this as well!!!
[–]Cdsmasher 20 points21 points22 points 1 year ago* (2 children)
You mentioned about men being sour grapes after rejection and that it was toxic. Then you say it's a good idea to "call out" mean bitches, replying "I know they say old women are shrill but I didn't believe them until now" sounds so lame, so BUTTHURT. I don't see this working to your advantage in anyway. How is that holding frame? The woman makes a scene, calls you a harrasser, no amount of "hehe you so cute" will help you. And what if she just says "fuck off" and walks away after that (quite likely). You gonna hollar behind her and ask "aww how many cocks you took in that mouth to speak so dirty? hehe"? Yeah sure, you are turning anger into attraction alright. She is probably soaking wet at that point.
You had something going on maybe, but you fucked it up at that part.
[–]ghosts_of_me 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children)
That's how I felt about this whole thing too. You gotta be wittier than making insults if you don't want her to say fuck off and leave.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Porn causes social anxiety so if you’re always watching porn put it down.
[–]LotBuilder 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Everytime I read one of these dissertations on approaching women I wonder if I am insane for not having approach anxiety. The key is to not overthink it. Divorce yourself from the outcome. Most professional salespeople have heard the term:
Some will Some won’t So what Who’s next
Same with approaching women. Some attention starved women will jump at anything. Some women have things going on where for whatever reason that day they would turn down Channing Tatum or Justin Timberlake. None of that is within your control. The only thing you can control is if you put yourself out there or not. The more you do and the better you become at it the more women you will get.
[–]itwasonlythewind 1 points1 points1 points 1 year ago [recovered]
As an avid chess player I’d say it’s most like chess in that you can’t make a neutral or defensive move and expect to win. Any misstep in tempo is punished, every move is just as important as the last and someone has to win. Aggressive moves win chess.
[–]Pestilence1911 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Anakeims(sp?) gun all day errday wins chess
[–]1princeahole 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Personally, how I conquered approach anxiety, is using the same method I used in sales.
There was once a point where I was broke as a joke, massive debt, college dropout, nobody would hire me for the life of me, so I HAD to make my business work.
I experienced everything. I had prospects that would cuss me out and tell me to go die in a hole (yes, that actually happened to me), and I had other prospects who were so relieved I called, and ended up being my best clients.
The prospect who told me to die in a hole, ended up being my client 3 months later, and one of my best ones at that. lol.
I took the same approach to women as soon as I was comfortable financially.
I think the biggest factor for accomplishing approach anxiety was giving myself no option but to approach the women, and if I didn't hit my target for the day, I'd feel really fucking bad. Just as I set my standard to cold call 200 prospects every single day, I set my standard to approach 100 women in a night.
Also the stuff about outcome independance that's a given, but I was more focussed on hitting my targets for the day, than individual circumstances that happened.
You will get girls that tell you to fuck off and cuss you out, and you'll also get women that are glad a person like yourself approached you. You can't control how women react to you, but you can control how you respond to it.
You never know if the 'red light' girl had a bad day, her grandma died, her boyfriend broke up with her and her girl friend just happened to drag her to the club and she wants to only wash down her pain with whiskey and scotch, who really knows.
All I know, is how I'll respond to the situation, and how to deal with it. If I fuck up, I know I won't make the same mistake in the future. Who cares.
How I respond to red lighters or cunts or bitches? Something along the lines of "Jeez dude, I'm just trying to make conversation, you don't gotta be a bitch about it" or I just give the biggest shit-eating grin and say "Someone's on their period today"
But what I find stupid is when guys are afraid to approach women just because they're afraid of the red lighters. Red lighters are inevitable to happen, whether you like it or not. Nobody is going to have a 100% green light ratio, even the best forum members here. All I tell my friends that go out with me is to just focus on approaching women, and don't get hung up on a situation, or you owe me a round of drinks if you don't hit your targets.
Sure, with an increased game you'll increase your chances to 20,25,30,40,50%, but never 100%.
[–]Roadhouse1984 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
What about when you approach and its yellow neutral but because you are a random she wont know in the immediate approach moment...like when you are out minding your own business and some sales douche approaches you? The linear color range is kind of worthless to me in this way and it doesnt tell me anything that I wouldn't already know before and outside of trp/seduction and all that. Non spergs can easily take social cues and tell if someone is nice/warm, neutral/appropriately functional, or cold/bitchy.
What I see from this post is to propose pursuing someone who is warm (duh), recognizing someone who is neutral, and insisting on reciprocating any cuntyness and humiliation by spewing insults when red (though your example quip is funny to you and me, it's a red line that there is no recovery from).
The last point is what made me reply because it screams of a childish reaction to a negative response. You might as well say "fuck you, you can't fire me..I quit" or "I didnt wanna be a part of your stupid club anyway!" You gain nothing by telling someone off like this (however justified and reciprocal) and you risk further ire and humiliation. It is VERY uncommon to be bluntly rejected by what you put in your red zone WITHOUT missing an escalation of social cues that heavily implied a lack of romantic or social interest. You are basically the "let me holla holla holla...holla holla" homeless guy from the Chappelle show who doesnt know when to stop and then lashes out when having to be told bluntly that there is a lack of interest. This heuristic does not mesh at all with a stoic masculinity ideal. If it helps you feel better and you are willing to accept the consequences of this, then it is a good decision. If you are unprepared for the risks or even if you are prepared, and you would like to maintain basic social politeness and be above back and forth childish micro-tantrums then it is a bad decision. I don't get to define for everyone what is or isnt masculine but I don't see James Bond running around responding to rejections as "well fuck you hoe I didn't wanna hit that old mangy pussy anyway".
Now I know this isnt the verbiage you would use but it's on the extreme end of the same spectrum. I don't mean this reply as a dig on you...I just have a hard time seeing how this would be helpful for me before or after TRP and by extension anyone else.
[–]Frich3 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (0 children)
If a chick is emotional toward you she cares.. Maybe alot, maybe a little, but nonetheless she still does. It's when she doesn't show any emotion when you should cut your losses. Because right then and there she could give a shit about what you said or did, as long as you go away.
[–]Ezaar 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Thank for discussing the topic in this way.
[–]HavelBro_Logan 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Could you give an example of how reaction 2 would play out? This ones a bit awkward for me and I encounter it a lot. How would I “escalate” and “polarize?”
Edit: nvmd I saw you answered this a few times already
[–]hibloodstevia 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child)
So I'm at a bar and I meet a hot chick, which opening should I use? Kings Indian reversed? Maybe work towards a pawn fork?
Hit em with two rooks then take the queen with yoyr king.
Works every time.
[–]spybraek 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
In my opinion: don't be afraid of rejection. The starter conversation is what will help you gauge the likelyhood of the girl's interest and get a sense of her openness. Be attentive to the signals. If she is not into you, she will cut everything short. If she's unable to be into you, you will notice the gap. If she is into you, she will somehow respond to your courage, even if it's a little tacky. A girl loves to be pursued.
In short, don't pretend that you can't be turned away. Rather: embrace it, and be the first to accept it even before they have the courage to signal it. Trust me, with some girls it's best that you walk away. A lot of women out there are not worth our effort.
If she's gonna give you a chance, she will entertain you. If she's not right, she will say something pithy to try and discourage your behaviour. It ain't personal, be happy you bailed before it became something worse.
Regardless, women have the full right to say no. It's part of being respectful. But also be bold and show that them talking with you really could be worth it (and don't expect them to confirm it, just know it).
Some might say I am being cowardice on admitting a failure if that's not what you wanted, but the acknowledgement before a woman that you don't need her acceptance is exactly what will draw her to you.
Be open to the unexpected. Allow yourself to be surprised. Surprise yourself while you converse. She will admire it if she's into you.
Some random starters, for example:
"Hey, I am from "x" what brought you here tonight?
"This place is really cool, I like to come here. Have you been here before? You look familiar!
"You know, I must say, you caught my eye several times tonight. I thought it would be awful if I at least don't say hi!"
I saw you had a light, I can't find my lighter, may I?
Are you enjoying your evening?
"I know this is crazy, and I barely know you, but I just want you to know: I think you're beautiful. No strings attached!"
Some of these are tacky. But the key is to be innovative on the spot, and don't think. Just be outward and express some sort of appreciation.
Be playful, and find some common ground to talk about. Be bold, and be genuine. And don't expect affirmation of your efforts. If you over-think the approach, and become nervous, or if you expect results on that one and only attempt of the night, you're still not doing it right. Set aside expected results, and be playful and be bold. And rejection is not personal - it's just nature. For every tree that grows, many seeds had to be thrown.
Enjoy the hunt, not just the BBQ.
[–]wolf_larsen1 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Thanks dude, these three categories provide a simple and comprehensive way of understanding how to react once you’ve pushed through on the approach. The unknown is scary, so being able to tie her reaction to one of these types helps to sort out our next step with confidence.
I just got back from a show my band played and approached this girl who was checking me out when we played. I came up and said something about how she looked good in black, weak I know but it was something. She was neutral at first, but within two minutes I had her number while these five guys who had approached her and her friend ten minutes earlier were buying them shots.
[–]crqze7 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Best post I've read in a while. Amazing information, thank you so much.
[–]marioshroomed 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I read about half of this and gotta be honest. This is very confusing and difficult to remember.
[–]Cirez_D 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Immaculate line, "Its a lot easier to turn anger into attraction than it is to turn indifference into attraction."
[–]joner888 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (5 children)
Im new here , could someone direct me to a thread with all the terms used here so i can understand and learn
[–]O--- 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)
There's a link in the sidebar called All in One Red Pill 101 which has a list of frequently used terms.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (1 child)
Didn't u read the sidebar yet?? Dude...
[–]AlligatorNicoli 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
This was a really good read. Your chess metaphor started to turn some gears in my head, and soon enough I had an "ah-hah" moment. Can you elaborate more on red-light scenarios? In my head these seem like threading a needle where you turn all the tension that builds during the interaction into attraction. Difficult to do, but the payoff is huge. Any tips on how to make that switch flip?
[–]Lambdal7 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
The last rule of getting back at her is absolute bullshit.
This only makes her reaction worse for the next guy.
Cold approach has a creep factor to it, no matter how valuable you are. Women have a right to be rude, because most of he times they have been approached were by creepers, so that is a justified defense mechanism.
Just be a man and walk away and don't be a reactive spiteful shmuck.
[–]DragonBornX45 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
This is great, TRP had a post really simplifying tinder and online stuff with a statistical method and I've been looking for something like that for day/night game. Thanks homie, definitely trying this shit out tonight
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
nice, thanks for the writeup gonna print this out.
[–]dcmcmd 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Enjoyed this. I always fear the yellow more than the red light!
[–]RedGunnera 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Interesting post thank you
[–]mozofila 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Patrice preached Red Light.
Question: what if the girl is spinning between green and red?