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How my dad held frame and saved himself from divorce rape (self.)

submitted by Zoltiel

I was driving around with my mom the other day, and she started talking to me about how her and my dad almost got a divorce years ago. I was young back then, and didn't know much, but then she told me something very interesting.. She went to the lawyers, and they told her she would pretty much get everything, since they've been married 20+ years. So she went to my dad with this information, and he pretty much told her that he would just quit his six figure job and she wouldn't get jack. After this news, she folded and called off the divorce. Knowing my dad, I could just see him laying on the couch with his legs propped up watching TV, and just telling her that in his IDGAF attitude, and going back to watching TV. And it just cracked me up. What he pretty much did was shattered her frame into a million tiny pieces. Here she was, with papers from professionals that would pretty much destroy his life, and it didn't phase him at all. Men, the point of me posting this is to remind us that you have more power as a man than you think concerning relationships. I'm sure if my dad got on his knees crying begging my mom not to go through with this, that my parents would be divorced right now. My dad performed an act that can only be described as TRP, and I can only wonder if divorces are just massive shit tests from wives.. tl;dr Alpha dad holds frame with threat of divorce rape, and mom folds


[–]Mellyanish 1 points1 points [recovered]

Beautiful bluff. The Family Court system has an evil concept called 'imputed income.' That is the income that the court thinks you could earn.

So if you quit your 6-figure job, you are still responsible for paying child support and alimony as if you still had that 6-figure job.

It is just make-believe designed to screw men, but it is done every day.

Escaping that divorce-rape was a masterful bluff by your dad.

[–]JarvisMusk 1 points1 points [recovered]

Men, this is the comment that needs to be at the top.

While the notion of OP’s father quitting his job so the woman takes nothing may give you a justice chub, it isn’t at all how it works. OP did mention this was several years ago, and maybe it was possible back then.

I was never married, but I do have a child. When she inevitably left for a guy with more money (I don’t blame her), the very first thing she did was stick her hand out looking for money.

Long story short, I get my day in court. I show up with last 4 years W2’s, pay stubs from the last 12 months, and all my health insurance information. I made about $20k more in 2015 than I did in ‘16 and ‘17. I had a pretty good year at my primary job, in addition to having a second part time job in 2015.

I explained in no uncertain terms that I was no longer working the second job, and that the income earned from my primary job wasn’t typical, as shown by my other W2’s.

They based my child support on my highest earning year on the premise that “you have demonstrated the propensity to earn at this level” as she held my 2015 W2. Yes, it was a female judge.

Here’s the thing though, and the important part of the message... In order for me to lower my child support obligation, I have to lose 50% of my income for over three months. However, they will not lower it to match the reduced income.

Example: Let’s say I’m making $100k/year, and that’s what the original child support order is based off of. If my income drops to $50k/year I can apply to have it lowered. They may not lower it at all, but if they do, it will not be proportionate to the income loss. It will only be reduced by the amount they believe I can “easily attain” based on my credentials and experience. I have a finance degree with ~6 years experience. They would likely impute my income at the $60-$75k range, despite the fact I’m only making $50k.

There’s more. What happens if your income goes up? Excellent question, I’m glad you asked! If your annual income goes up to the point where your support obligation would increase by 10%, you’re required by law to notify the Child Support Recovery unit.

If she believes at any time you are hiding income, or have gotten a raise, she can request an income audit. She can request an income audit once every two years. If it’s found out that you did not disclose your additional income, they will backdate the increased amount and you’ll be required to pay all the unpaid support.

My current support order is 45% of my current take-home income. Think about that for a minute. She walked, took my daughter, my money, and now lives in a lavish home driving a brand new vehicle.

Never get married. Never have kids.

[–]UnPawsed 102 points103 points  (18 children)

Fuck that life, I’m way too spiteful for that shit. I’d just walk away from it all if I were you.

[–]Mellyanish 1 points1 points [recovered]

The ex wife holds hostage the well being of the child. It's not so easy to walk away.

[–]7a7p 67 points68 points  (11 children)

Yeah but if I’m getting raped like that I’m shutting it all down. I’d rather be a fucking hobo than let a woman pull that shit on me. I’d be laugh my ass all the way to jail lol

[–]ciabattabing16 21 points22 points  (6 children)

You'd have to define what this means. If it means living under a bridge and hunting for game, it may work. If it is anything else that involves actual living in society, you will be found and have any and all wages garnished. Even being arrested will not help, as any money supplied to you, and any money you earn from whatever job you may land inside will have the funds garnished. $5 a month is a big deal in most prisons. About a decade ago the state of Pennsylvania started requiring a social security number simply to obtain a $20 fishing license and trout stamp. This type of disappearing act was why. You literally cannot live on the grid, and I'd be surprised if you were able/allowed to flee the country, let alone deal with all the logistics of foreign work, etc. Family Courts are no joke.

[–]pame12 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Could you perhaps just run off to Mexico? Like, climb over the wall or something like that?

[–]ksatriamelayu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

he can, but only a few men are capable of that.

Also, parental attachment is no small thing.

[–]7a7p 26 points27 points  (2 children)

That’s what I’m saying. If my wife ran off with my son with full custody AND all of my future income, I’d clock out. Period. It’s only a game if both parties are playing....and I’d just stop. I’d either off-grid and under the table, or I’d live like a regular man and provide for my son until the deputies come and get me for not providing a whore with a 6 figure yearly income. I’d take that charge over financing any bitch who stole my life.

Edit: To be clear I’d work with my wife if she wanted to bail. It’s obviously not what I’d want but I’d go 50/50 and work with her to make that situation the best of what it could be for my kid. She, on the other hand, is a spiteful vindictive bitch who I know would try to use our son to screw my life over. If I had it to do over again I’d love to have my son and NOT have the requisite attachment to a woman.

[–]flyalpha56 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Can’t go 50/50 with no Hoe

[–]1RPLawyer 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I would seriously consider a murder-suicide at this point. Don't be surprised that a dog bites back when you beat it.

But that's a moot point since I'm never getting married or having kids.

[–]7a7p 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People wonder how and why dudes crack like that.....

[–]red-pill-man 25 points26 points  (1 child)

This is why women get away with this shit. Hostages. More men need to refuse to negotiate with terrorists and walk away.

[–]criveros 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m sure the child will be fine even if you disappear if you are in North America.

[–]111Dx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I want to scream, "Kill that bitch". You must be devastated. These laws are so much in favour of womyn these days. I had a buddy with same problem. He told me the same not to get married. I WILL NOT MARRY these awalt bitches.

[–]Papa_Gamble 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Easier to hire a hit man at that point. Cheaper too.

[–]partyboob305 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Id fake my own deah and move to thailand. She’d probably raise my daughter to hate me anyway

[–]enkae7317 12 points13 points  (1 child)

You probably don't even need to fake your death. Just get out the country. The US courts cant chase you past there. Take all your cash you've saved up and book ship.

[–]HardPiano 1 points1 points [recovered]

Brit here. A mate of mine went through the court system after his wife and mother of his child cheated (no fault divorce), so he just ghosted and disappeared to Dubai. He had prepared everything before or as legal proceedings went on. He transferred money into foreign accounts. He put some in cryptocurrency, and sold the house behind her back whilst she was living in it. Even left her a note serving telling her she had until the end of the month to get out. The day after the judgement he was on a plane and out of the country. He's told her he will support the child if she gets a test done to prove it but she refuses to do so. He told no one he was going to do it either.

All the mother of his child does is whinge on Facebook about him. She still emails him and everything asking for money, and calling him a deadbeat dad and he just replies with, 'Who's this?'. Last year I went out there and stayed in his villa and we took some photos having a great time with some hot American chicks who are working out there as well, and put them up online. She went fucking ballistic. It was comedy gold. Now he's living it up with a great salary, nice villa with a gym and pool, and banging hot women from all over the world and she has nothing. Her life has spiraled out of control and she's just another single mother crying on social media. She has also got super fat and he's wearing suits, heading to dinners and events and living it up.

I still remember the day he came out of court as I met up with him to go grab a drink. A calmness, a smirk, and then a smile as he handed me a letter and told me to read it in a week. A week later I open it up and it says 'I've moved to Dubai. Here's a flight ticket. I'll see you next week. I knew she was cheating and I had planned the entire thing for the last 9 months. I couldn't tell you until now". He knew. He kept it to himself, never revealed his intentions and then played his card. I'm now planning on moving out there in the future and joining him. Tax free income, modern, lots to do, etc.

[–]warburgio 22 points23 points  (3 children)

No marriage and still so much money is taken?!?! Unbelievable. Is it in the States?

[–]One_time_back_when 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Marriage = alimony. Child support is between you and the child so marriage means nothing. In theory, child support is purely for the benefit of the child and not so mom can live cushy and unemployed.

[–]untonyto 7 points8 points  (0 children)

so many theories they pump into our skulls in schools and so few of them have any real-world application.

[–]BrownGummyBear 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Another reminder as to why I’m never getting married

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Why should child support change at all based on your income? Presumably every child costs approximately the same amount of money to clothe, house, and feed. Does the child get “accustomed” to a certain lifestyle like the mother?

[–]JarvisMusk 1 points1 points [recovered]

Yep, so I asked the same question. They give two reasons why it is the way it is.

They say it’s income based so that one parent does not try to buy the love of the child. If one parent makes significantly more than the other, presumably the higher earning parent has a higher quality of life. Nicer house, better cars, nicer clothes, vacations, etc... They claim it creates stability in the child’s life when each household has a similar lifestyle.

The other answer you’ll usually hear is, “if you and the child’s mother were still together, you’d be paying the same proportion of your income.”

Neither are valid arguments in my opinion. Maybe in extreme cases where one parent is a multimillionaire or something, but that’s not the norm. In my particular situation, she left me for a guy with family money, lots of family money. She doesn’t work, and his income will never be included in the support calculation, despite the fact that it’s his income that allows her the luxury of not having to work. They built a brand new house last year. I look on Zillow to see what it appraised at and it’s appraised at $765k. She drives a brand new loaded 4Runner. He sold his lake house a month or two ago and bought a lot on the same lake. They’re going to build a new lake house this year.

Meanwhile, I was forced to sell my house and my truck. I currently live in a little townhome and drive a 2006 Colorado.

Nothing makes you feel like a complete loser like your 8 year old daughter telling you your house is too small and you need to buy a bigger one. I had her for Father’s Day weekend and we were running around shooting each other with nerf guns.

[–]magx01 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had her for Father’s Day weekend and we were running around shooting each other with nerf guns.

More qualitative parenting than your ex has done in years, guaranteed. If she's anything like my ex all she does is criticize and worry about appearance. She actually complained about campfires because they "make her hair smell" (her being my daughter). Let's ignore the bonding and memories and focus on a smell (the smell of summer imo) which can be washed out anyway. It's hard not to hate women sometimes.

[–]PrettyBelowAverage 5 points6 points  (13 children)

I know prenups exist, and I'd definitely get one if I ever considered marriage, but are people allowed to have a contract stating in the instance of a divorce that it would just be a clean break or x% of assets?

Just something that I've always been curious about.

[–]JarvisMusk 1 points1 points [recovered]

Prenups are thrown out all the time. Sure, you can pay a lawyer to draft up an exit strategy if you want. Depending on how in-depth and how much time the lawyer spends on it, you’re looking at probably close to $1000, maybe more.

You’ll think you’re protected, right up until the judge looks at it and rules it non-binding.

Quite literally, if the judge believes the situation is unfair, he/she will throw out the prenup or any other agreement.

[–]One_time_back_when 5 points6 points  (1 child)

If you have a prenup and you think there is a chance a judge will throw it out, you need to get to the table and negotiate the best settlement you can before it gets thrown out. Balance your risk and reach a middle ground agreement before you get it in the ass by a judge. It's hard because people going through divorce or custody disputes are angry and fueled by emotion. Dads need to put the emotions aside and think long term.

[–]FOODYUMONION 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The said thing is the kid gets screwed. No amount of money can fix a child growing up without their real dad. The stats back this up

[–]PrettyBelowAverage 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Seriously?! What's the point? Especially if you have premarital assets worth protecting..

There has to be some sort of contract that can be signed that a judge won't throw out, right?

[–]brokegirl11 5 points6 points  (1 child)

If your partner gives up their ability to make money / have a career in order to raise your children, you better believe that you need to pay up if the marriage breaks down.

Dont marry a do nothing bitch, marry someone with enough of a career that she won't be able to rape you.

[–]JarvisMusk 1 points1 points [recovered]

I’m not 100% sure tbh. I’m betting it depends on the judge, and how much you throw at a lawyer.

It’s very much a pay-to-win system.

[–]PrettyBelowAverage 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Kinda makes one feel sick that the system is so set up for the woman's side in the case of a divorce. I've seen a lot of people be taken for their money in pitiful ways through divorce in courts, but knowing that even with preventative measures in place you can't be protected is just disheartening.

[–]JarvisMusk 1 points1 points [recovered]

I am not a lawyer, and I don’t have any experience with prenups or how well they hold up in court. I’m going based on what I’ve read online, so take that for what it’s worth.

I’ll put it to you this way... if you are about to get married and you’re worried about how well your prenup will hold up, you should save yourself the trouble and cancel the wedding.

[–]PrettyBelowAverage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What happened to AWALT? What happened to all of the marriages that start off with the girl you knew and end up with both/one of you just growing into another person? To the point of there being no more semblance of a relationship? Happens very often and the ones that try to make it work are miserable the majority of the time it seems.

This all applies even more so if you have something worth taking to protect before a marriage.

Also, wouldn't you have questions and feel disheartened hearing that your way of trying to protect yourself could fall through the floor just on the whim of a judge? That there potentially is no way to protect yourself even if two consenting adults sign a contract? I'm still on my monk mode shit currently, focusing on me, marriage is one of the last things on my mind until I read about it here and then my mind plays out situations.

To me a prenup means that the other person is actually in it equally. To know that equality that would have (I'm assuming) taken lots of time to put together and money put into lawyers could be worthless is concerning.

[–]well-ok-then 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think guys usually get screwed on child support based on income. Most dudes get married with few premarital assets relative to the next 18 years of income.

[–]BonelessSkinless 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I don't understand how the system is designed to fuck us so hard on "perceived notions of income" that's a violation of rights and scary for a guy who loses his life to a girl he thought he loved while she hops on new dick. No wonder Male suicide rate is sky high

[–]One_time_back_when 14 points15 points  (22 children)

You must have very little custody time. When things go to 50/50 then the child support payments get reduced to account for the fact that you pay equal support obligations because you have the kids half the time. It's still income based, but wouldn't be anywhere near 45% take home.

[–]EqualResponsibility 12 points13 points  (4 children)

No. It doesn’t change that much. And it’s 45% of his income because they are imputing his income. It’s like you didn’t even read what he said. :(

[–]One_time_back_when 3 points4 points  (3 children)

It depends on the state, but I very much did read what he said. As you go from 0 towards equal, shared custody, your child support obligation decreases significantly. But hey, in just a guy that has equal custody and a child support order that requires me to pay very little to my ex. I don't know what I'm talking about. /s

[–]JarvisMusk 1 points1 points [recovered]

Man... I’m envious of your situation.

[–]JarvisMusk 1 points1 points [recovered]

I get every other weekend. I asked for more, but we live too far apart apparently.

She literally doesn’t work. She lives with the guy she left me for. He has family money, and frankly, he is able to provide her a lifestyle Id never be able to accomplish. Granted, without Daddy’s money, he wouldn’t be able to either, but whatever.

I don’t blame her for leaving. I’m just bitter I have to pay so much of my disposable income given the differences in our lifestyles.

She vacations once a month on average, drives a brand new loaded 4Runner. They live in a brand new (they built it) house. They just sold their lake house because they bought a bigger lot on the lake. They are building a new lake house.

Meanwhile, I’m the one that had to sell my house and my truck. I live in a townhome, and drive an older truck.

[–]One_time_back_when 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I feel you man. I'm not passing judgement. I know it's difficult. Not everyone has the option of going 50/50. In fact, it's no surprise that the family courts favor moms.

[–]doorfly 2 points3 points  (13 children)

So does the court decide how much %?

[–]doorfly 5 points6 points  (4 children)

This comment got me autobanned from another subreddit. WTF. didn't even realize that was possible.

[–]tiberius14 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Wow, makes hiring a Hitman sound economical

You seem to know your way around the system.. I am not married yet but I want kids. Is there a way to avoid getting sucked into the situation you're in?

[–]JarvisMusk 1 points1 points [recovered]

Absolutely there is. Pick a woman with a head on her shoulders. Pick one that has an education, both parents at home, and one that has a steady career.

Avoid deadbeat women. Avoid bartenders, hair stylists, and personal trainers. Avoid any woman raised by a single mother. Avoid women that bring nothing to the table other than a wet hole.

[–]WeddingCrasher91 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Deadbeat. Reminds me of my current wife (we're separated) . Shes almost 22, barely finished high school, doesn't want to work, yet she dreams of a lavish lifestyle. Beside being relatively hot, i married her so she can help me move to states. Failed with that also, lost a shit load of money trying to impress her and keep her interested. How stupid i was

Edit: I just got an email from USCIS that our case is approved and will be forwarded to NVC for further processing. The irony

[–]IndependentAccount 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"Real World Divorce" goes in-depth on the absurdity.

[–]brokegirl11 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Did you never let her work or did she contribute 50% in ways other than money?

One of my friends (a woman) has 50/5- custody of their kid but she still has to PAY HIM child support.

Usually the ex only gets large amounts if she /he didn't have a career and instead was a full time carer.

One way to get around this is to make sure you support your wifes career so she can't come after you for large amounts as she still has the ability to earn her own money (laws vary country to country).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For the readers benefits. This income imbalance works both ways. If you have a woman that makes more money than you do, then this gets done to her instead. RP theory says that status/income don't matter towards making a woman attractive or raising her SMV. Those things do however make her more desirable in a relationship for security against alimony/child support. A stay at home mom is a ghost of xmas past in this world.

[–]pizzarulzz 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"Never married never kids" In america but thats now how work in india.

[–]BoskOfPortKar 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well, it is also because the Judge takes a % on what the mother will be paid !

Huge Conflict of Interests but who cares ?

The Marriage Licence is just an extortion scheme against men.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Damn. Justice chub no more.

[–]WholesomeAwesome 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Did you consider changing jurisdiction into one where they cannot fuck with you and work from there?

[–]toiletpapermoney 72 points73 points  (19 children)

My ex-wife tried to have an income imputed to me equal to my corporate income (mid six figures). She got reverse-raped because I had 10 years of history of never using corporate money for personal expenses. I let her hang herself. She went bankrupt and owes $100K to her lawyers.

[–]tekn0_ 15 points16 points  (3 children)

So if you didn’t use your corporate money for personal expenses, what did you use it for instead?

[–]Neutral_User_Name 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I am going to guess: for the corporation. Source: I own a business.

[–]tekn0_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense. So that would cover all the personal expenses as corporate expenses.

[–]Gobraves44 7 points8 points  (9 children)

Can somebody explain this to me? What did he do here?

[–]EqualResponsibility 37 points38 points  (1 child)

He owns a business. He kept most of the income from the business in the business itself. When a business pays you back for an expense it can be considered income in certain situations. The courts can’t consider the business income only his personal income which he draws from the business.

It’s not a loop hole or anything. He just ran his business like an actual business and not a free for all source of money.

[–]therealjohnfreeman 1 points1 points [recovered]

By "corporate income" he means the income from a business he owns. He never used that income to support himself, it all went back into the business, so to the court, it makes his income look like $0.

[–]toiletpapermoney 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Not exactly, I had a reasonable amount used as salary forever. For a judge to pierce this veil would have severe repercussions that (for now) is not something the government wants. The proper way to avoid this is don't get married.

[–]DoNotEatTheTail 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Is this what happened to Dave Foley?

[–]Jampak_5000 2 points3 points  (2 children)

he RE-married her WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[–]GodLikeVelociraptor 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It's not just to screw over men. My deadbeat ex-wife, when I left her, refused to work because it would affect the settlement. Since she was college educated and able-bodied, the court imputed her income and significantly reduced my required alimony payment. I still paid alimony but only because I was making mid six-figures to her normal income.

[–]RedPillAtNight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my ex first went to the divorce lawyer, she was a SAHM but he told her to find a job immediately because she had an MBA and would not get nearly what she thought. The state mandated CS was 33%, but I only paid 18% because of her education and we did 50/50 on where the kids lived. Later I got it cut to half of that because she got raises and got laid off and the job I found later paid less.

[–]Bletchlypark 1 points1 points [recovered]

If that shit happened to me I would flee to another country. Fuck that shit.

[–]hawkeaglejesus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Make sure it's not an extradition country. Failing to make child support payments is an extraditable offense.

https://www.acf.hhs.gov/css/partners/international

[–]scagnetti89 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I had to fight tooth and nail in my divorce to get through too the judge I work 28 days on ship, and have 28 days off. Only work and get paid for 182 days of the year. The pay stubs for 5, 14, and 9 days last me the month I'm on the ship, and month home not working. They couldn't get through there fucking skulls that concept. Say I made 100k a year working 182 days, the judge based it on 200k, saying I should work the full year. What the Fuck? Slave away out to sea, never coming home to pay this outrageous amount? Thank god I got a good (read expensive) lawyer to straighten this shit out before the final decree.

[–]315skwot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

So if someone were to face an unfair circumstance, would you say any expensive lawyer is better? how did you go about finding said lawyer and if you could mention, how expensive was the process?

[–]Watchingcluturefade 7 points8 points  (9 children)

So if you quit your job and literally don't have any money, will you go to jail eventually?

[–]Mellyanish 1 points1 points [recovered]

Yes, absolutely. Inability to pay is no defense against the demand to pay.

Men are put in jail every day for failure to pay child support....and they are still responsible to pay child support even when they are literally unable to pay, in jail.

[–]Watchingcluturefade 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Wow, that is truly incredible and ridiculously sad.

I agree with someone on this thread, I would leave the country in that situation.

[–]Libertarian-Party 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Ah, but that's where the US law rapes you one more time and prevents you from leaving the country if you have any outstanding child support payments. Welcome to America.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I bet they enforce that harder than they enforce laws against illegals coming in.

[–]Watchingcluturefade 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I didn't say I would do it legally

:)

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yes they hold you in contempt. We abolished debtor prison in the 19th century because it was recognized as being cruel and counterproductive, but then we brought it back for divorce rape because it’s not cruel and counterproductive if it’s going to benefit women. Complete gynocracy. Don’t ever let anyone try to tell you otherwise. We brought back debtors prison for women.

Carthage must be destroyed.

Women’s suffrage must be repealed.

[–]Watchingcluturefade 4 points5 points  (0 children)

lol yes! Huge history buff, I love it

Carthago delende est!

[–]magicmikefx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a man.... I just used this imputed income argument against my ex wife in the divorce. She is educated and left work to become SAHM. That's all over we have 1 kid in school the other in daycare. Time to go back to work. Waiting on the signature on the separation agreement.

[–]Wolfoflulzstreet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes this. Dad could have been fucked and in a trailer park. Once a 6-figure job always a 6-figure job.

[–]enkae7317 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What? Say you do quit your job and lose your 6-fig job. And they require you to pay a 6-fig child support portion. You don't have any money. What can they do then? Send you to jail?

[–]PurpleDrank88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's essentially a doctrine that exists to prevent a party to a divorce from purposefully quitting their job so that the court can't hold them liable for payments to their ex-spouse. It actually does make sense from a legal perspective, but unfortunately gets used on men more than on women since men are more likely to have to pay money in a divorce than women

[–]ApexmanRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it may have been his rock solid IDGAF attitude in the face of destruction in court was enough to make the OP's mom think "Can I get better than this man?"

[–]refelgallo 66 points67 points  (1 child)

A friend of my fathers was divorce raped in the 80s, I met my father's friend in the late 90s. As my father told the story, his buddies ex old-lady shows up one day with the new boyfriend when she's​ picking up the kids.

“I’m gonna take you to court for more child support so we can get <insert boy toys name> a new Harley”

My father's friend nods and within a week sold everything he owned, quit his six-figure job at NASA and became “homeless”

Put a multi-unit property in my father's name, and the friend was the ‘maintenance guy’ for the property

All to not pay his ex a dime

edit - grammar

[–]RedPilledGodEmperor 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah, these days marriage is not a risk that is worth taking.

[–]NorthEasternNomad 227 points228 points  (28 children)

It's getting to the point marriage is like a hostage situation. Once you marry her,she is free to give you nothing but shit tests, take what she wants, and destroy your life if you try to leave her...or if she just up and gets bored with her own lack of effort.

And people wonder why, even though I have an LTR, we aren't married...because I live with a woman who does not put much stock in paper commitments, we both make enough to support ourselves independent of.one another...and my state, does NOT recognize Common Law marriage.

So why WOULD I marry?

Frankly, of late, it's the rest of it I'm beginning to wonder why I bother with...

[–]Fun_DENVER 73 points74 points  (3 children)

It's getting to the point marriage is like a hostage situation

Getting to the point? It's been like that for decades. Men are just finally waking up to it.

The best argument against marriage is to talk to any guy who's gone through a divorce. Or any lawyer specializing in "family" law.

[–]NorthEasternNomad 42 points43 points  (0 children)

That's actually more on point.

It's funny. People ask me, "Why don't you want to get married? Don't you have friends and family who are married?"

Why yes. Yes I do know married people.

They are the reason, that I'm not married.

I've still to meet a couple where the wife has not advertised one thing and given another, turning marriage into one long shit test that leaves the guy caught between incel and alimony check.

[–]MormonRedPill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The best argument against marriage is to talk to any guy who's gone through a divorce.

And yet so many of them will tell you their horror story then turn around and remarry. Men get remarried more often than women do. Even getting divorce raped isn't enough to redpill lots of men.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (23 children)

Would you care to elaborate with what you mean by "rest"? I am interested.

[–]NorthEasternNomad 39 points40 points  (22 children)

The LTR part. To be honest, I'm starting to feel like the product I was "sold" differs significantly from the one I've been asked to live with.

The ad included a tight, pretty well toned gal with heat and passion. The longer term package is... somewhat lacking...now. It's been a slow transition, sure; but it's all been one direction, and it's not upward.

[–]voomer53 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Should have signed up for the automatic trade-in after 10 years....

[–]huskerbolt1 46 points47 points  (1 child)

Cool story bro

Problem is, real world is she infact would end up with all his shit regardless. In the courts there is a term "Earning Power", all she had to do was pull the tax history and hand it to the lawyers thus showing what his potential would be and she would get paid accordingly.

Most likely his IDGAF attitude made her rethink things ... so in that aspect well played. But in the real world he would still get divorce raped ..... those of us who have gone through it know the pitfalls that marriage brings and the hard lessons learned even prior to swallowing the pill most of us would not willingly enter marriage again .. I know I wont and I am one of the rare ones who actually got over in divorce.

[–]1Your_Coke_Dealer 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Precisely. He bluffed, she folded. Good on him for knowing when to bluff, but also not a solution for all men

[–]pru51 116 points117 points  (8 children)

I recent fell out of a 10 year LTR and still have all my belongings. How? I didn't marry her!

[–]Kaapaala 22 points23 points  (7 children)

Well, if you lived in Canada (except Quebec), you would have not thanks to common-law marriage.

[–]sumethreuaweiei 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From my understanding, common law isn’t as big of a deal and separate assets still remain separate.

[–]wanderer779 2 points3 points  (1 child)

There's no way out of making men pay for women. Except for making women starve, and we're not going to do that. Women simply don't produce enough to sustain themselves. One way or another we have to pay for them.

Therefore this strategy of LTRing and not marrying can't work on a large scale. We're not going to be leaving a bunch of old ladies starving in the streets.

The more I think about it I think the fairest way to handle it would be to just give women money either through the tax code or welfare. In some ways we're already doing it. If could socialize the cost of keeping women then we can get rid of the old system where you couple financial support with long term sexual relationships (basically a more respectable version of prostitution).

I think this is the fairest model going forward for everyone. People are going to want companionship, women are going to want material comfort, and men increasingly are opting out of the old sham system.

[–]Scanline6 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But the problem is that the government and the wealthy don’t want that to happen. Call me a conspiracist but why would they stop using the good ol’ system to extract all the wealth from the financially responsible middle class men who are the generators of wealth and through spoon fed feminist ‘liberal’ women transfer that into their own pockets.

I remember reading about an old Jewish saying—All I know is that it is Jewish, I am not into all that the Jews are controling the world crap, but it goes something like: If you want to do business, remember you are selling to women and children. Something along that line.

Like most things, a good solution is untenable when it benefits all instead of the few.

[–]EvolvingSomewhere 71 points72 points  (4 children)

My 1st divorce, I remember telling my ex adamantly that I would spend every dime I had and every ounce of energy paying for attorneys to get the kids. She believed me and just gave me full custody over all 3. Danny Tanner for the win!

[–]frooschnate 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My 1st divorce,

How many tries did you need man

[–]civilizedfrog 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Did she cheat? Or was it the deadbedroom?

[–]bosshawg502 84 points85 points  (24 children)

Lol OPs mom is a bitch for that.

[–]one_more_iteration 78 points79 points  (21 children)

Part of getting over my divorce and starting to swallow TRP is coming to terms that women are just using what the government sanctions for them.

Imagine you're living with someone for decades, bored of them completely, trying to ignore all the annoying shit they do all the time, day in, day out. Your family shits on him constantly. Your friends ask why you are still with him. The government basically says, "Oh, you're bored? No problem, leave him and we'll make sure you get at least half of his shit."

If you can leave with absolutely no consequences whatsoever, keep your resources, and be rid of a major annoyance, why the fuck not?

The only way to take this power away from the government is to not get married. Men have to realize they are the only gatekeepers for their resources. The government will bend over backwards to fuck you in the ass otherwise.

What I'm trying to say is, I don't see women who do this as "bitches". They are humans put in a very comfortable position and simply following through.

Divorce is punishment for a stupid decision. Full stop

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (19 children)

Excuse me, I am relatively new here (have read sidebar for those wondering).

What do you think people that are religious should do? Like we have to get married I guess? So if we do, what would be the best precautionary measures we could take to avoid divorce rape or to at least lower its blowback effect?

(Btw I am from the UK)

[–]one_more_iteration 22 points23 points  (1 child)

If you're coming from a conservative culture, and marry a conservative girl, your chances are a little better. For instance, I have several beta friends/associates who married Filipinas who haven't left them and seem quite content.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with marriage. It creates a family structure, several of which solidify a community, and networks of communities are the foundation for a culture, a nation. But in the modern world it is just too easy and tempting to shirk values for resources.

If you want to get married and stay married? Be a man. Be masculine, stay in shape, have a career, be a role model for your kids, fuck her real good, all the time. And be damn sure you get your dick wet before you say your vows.

Part of the reason women find it so easy to leave men is because we are so thoroughly feminized in today's culture.

[–]Westwood_1 13 points14 points  (3 children)

You have to look at marriage within its societal context. In Biblical times the culture was much more masculine and marriage was more binding. A woman caught cheating on her spouse could be killed; women didn't initiate divorces, and when divorce did occur, the man kept his property. And because the church was the state, religious definitions of marriage (and the religious expectations attached to marriage) were civilly enforced to one degree or another.

The word "marriage" continues to be used today, but in a much different social context. Currently, marriage is predominantly civil - while religious authorities may officiate the ceremony, the secular state is ultimately the entity sanctioning the union. The state has its own (increasingly feminized) expectations that go with marriage, and it enforces them with vigor. Theoretically, the religious expectations about marriage remain; however, churches today lack the ability to enforce those expectations. Practically speaking, the only your personal commitment holds you to the religious elements of the marriage - and the same is true of your spouse.

What this means is that you're going to need to find someone who is ideologically compatible with you and believes (in your faith) as much or more than you do. She needs to think that she will literally burn in Hell if she cheats on you, etc. You'll want to date for a long time before committing so that you can see some of the bad sides of her. And you're going to want a prenup.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

This is great advice man, thank you.

[–]DoNotEatTheTail 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I worry that you're couching the legal institution of marriage within your religious worldview, instead of the other way around. Like every other influence from society that tells you to get married and "live the dream", religious ideology is a tool to manipulate you into a position where other people have power over you. While I can't answer UK specific questions, the religious background would likely have very little bearing in the division of assets during your divorce. You can always get a pre-nup (I assume), but pre-nups can be found to be non-binding after the fact.

[–]wanderer779 5 points6 points  (1 child)

If you read the bible you'll see they didn't have what we have today. Otherwise it would have been, "ye, and Noah's wife said she was unfulfilled, and Noah was ordered by God to jump overboard and tread water till the flood had subsided, and his wife kept the ark for herself, along with the children and livestock. And God saw that it was good, and blessed her with a new husband, and ordered Noah to build her a new house, and give 70% of his harvest to her and her new husband every year for the next 500 years".

Just cause we kept calling it marriage doesn't mean it is. Marriage as they prescribed in the bible hasn't existed for quite a while.

[–]gulag_disco 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Hey, man. I definitely can not answer the specific question you asked because I’ve never married. What I can tell you is that caving to the social pressures of your community against your own rational self-interest is anathema within TRP.

No one can tell you that you living as a Red-Pill-aware man is more important than your relationship with your Heavenly Father. I think, however, you’ll find difficulty satisfying both philosophies simultaneously, seeing that TRP is heavily influenced by evolutionary psychology.

You may have to date some ungodly women. You might even like it.

[–]DoNotEatTheTail 3 points4 points  (0 children)

> No one can tell you that you living as a Red-Pill-aware man is more important than your relationship with your Heavenly Father.

Religious ideology is inherently subjective, while TRP deals with more objective ideas and how they are interpreted/implemented by society. If he truly believes that belief is more important than reality, that is his prerogative, yes.

[–]bcrice03 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don't have to do anything, do you think a priest is going to show up at your house and arrest you if you don't get married? Haha.

Grow a set of balls and live life by your own code, not by some ancient religion that has refused to adapt to how much modern society has changed from thousands of years ago.

[–]bosshawg502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay maybe she was just doing what women do because AWALT (even your own mother.) But the bitch part comes for telling her son how bad she tried to rail her dad. Could have left that part out mom. Now your son gets another seed of hatred planted in the back of his head, because if his own mother would attempt that with his father, what could a woman do to him?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (5 children)

There was a guy on Joe Rogans show who is a Canadian, he can't ever step foot in Canada because the divorce court based his yearly income on his highest ever yearly income. As a result he was made to pay $40k per month to his ex-wife. He currently earns around $50k a year and is still required to pay $40k a month in alimony. I can't remember the guys name or I would link it. But if he ever steps foot in Canada again its life in prison for him.

Even the ex-wifes lawyers were telling her to accept a better deal for him, because currently she gets nothing, but out of spite she didn't. She already got all his assets.

[–]BroseppeVerdi 13 points14 points  (0 children)

For perspective: The guy is Dave Foley. You might remember him from a show called News Radio. These days he's an occasional stand up comic. In his last special (which is on Netflix, I believe), he said the judge told him that his "ability to pay was not relevant to his obligation to pay".

[–]therealjohnfreeman 1 points1 points [recovered]

Dave Foley, linked elsewhere in this thread (I'm on mobile).

[–]toiletpapermoney 1 point2 points  (1 child)

According to Wiki, they remarried lol

[–]arian0n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clarification: he remarried his second wife, it's his first wife whom he owes an enormous amount in child support.

[–]andreas-mgtow 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Your dad has no power. WHEN your mom decides to go through with the divorce, the judge will award her half of the shit plus the house, alimony and child support by default.

No amount of posturing, "frame" or any other retarded "technique" will change that.

If he then goes through with his bluff and stops working, he will be jailed for non payment where he will most likely be ass raped.

After that, he will still be liable for back payments, rinse and repeat.

Never cohabitate. Never marry.

[–]brocklanders3791 6 points7 points  (0 children)

you missed the entire point. he knew he would have been screwed in court; his power lied in the strength of his response.

[–]satellite779 4 points5 points  (1 child)

What about leaving the country with all the assets?

[–]tallwheel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That really does become pretty much the best option at that point, doesn't it? And even then the number of countries you can flee to and get away with it is rapidly shrinking every year.

[–]shadowq8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agee with this guy, op's dad needs a hidden stash of money, stop pooling his networth into something that can be seized by courts.

[–]Narcissist456 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I’d lose all respect for my mother if she said some shit like that to me. If only the majority of women weren’t such parasitic cunts...

[–]3nebder 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Now that you got your justice/revenge porn wankery out of the way..

I survived divorce in 2017 rather well. Gotta go without lawyers. I got paid, got 50/50 custody and no support. I lost my house and that work there. Overall I got a payout, transferred the household debt to her and moved out. A fresh start in your late 30s isn’t so bad in retrospect.

I had to fight off a couple stabs from her on the support and custody. It required not backing down. I had some thrumbscrews to gently twist and the threat of going full on nuclear burn it all to the ground if I didn’t get my way. Gotta have some leverage in any negotiation. I also came into the asset split discussions with proposals that were subtly favorable to me so I could concede some and end up where I wanted to be.

Continue to have a decent parental and friendly relationship with the ex. Now she tells me of her friends that are jealous of our coparenting and relationship and how much she herself loves the arrangement. 50/50 custody is awesome if you can’t live with your kids.

Biggest advice I can give is twofold. No lawyers obviously. Most importantly you gotta win the frame battle post separation. There will definitely be a battle as the new social relationship gets established. I was behind the 8ball working from a a shattered frame, a relationship of “equals” and all the other bloop shit and pulled off the win. Helps being righteously pissed and giving zero fucks. Use that feeling to your advantage.

There’s a ton of greedy thots and fucked up people out there. Not all of them go to that extreme especially if all you base your worldview on are the fucked up anecdotes that get highlighted here. Come to a workable win/win situation and you’re very likely to get somewhere with it.

Best thing that ever happened to me was getting divorced.

[–]kejflk34jlkd 1 points1 points [recovered]

2018 version: "good luck, I'll put all my assets into bitcoin and flee to SE Asia"

[–]Narcissist456 15 points16 points  (22 children)

And never see your kids again? It’s not that easy.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 11 points12 points  (12 children)

Trust me, your kids seem much less worth it when you find out how little she values your input.

[–]Narcissist456 21 points22 points  (11 children)

I don’t give a fuck what a wet hole thinks about my input. She can input 1,000 fat hairy cocks right up her ass for all I care. That doesn’t mean my kids would need me in their lives any less.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 11 points12 points  (10 children)

Good thing you're there to provide for them and do the right thing.

[–]Narcissist456 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yeah if they’re MY kids (not the pool boy’s) I sure will be.

[–]Filofa 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Bitcoin is pseudo-anonymous. The IRS could track you quite easily.

Luckily for us, there exists Monero.

[–]Winterpreter 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Just do the right thing, don't get married to anyone, go live together and all but, don't give another person the power to ruin your life anytime, marriage is just religious propaganda embedded into our normal society.

[–]ShavedApel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish it was that easy some people live in countries where if you live together you are married. I guess the government realises that men are smartening up to how retarded modern marriage is so they have to force marriage onto them.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My stepfather did this too. Worked like a charm

[–]Youngyoda89 5 points6 points  (2 children)

A quick word of advice here- don’t get angry when your friends try to swim in your wake. When you’re the alpha it is expected of you to offer up your old plates to those who aren’t getting enough to eat.

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 1 point2 points  (1 child)

you saying you want his dad's sloppy seconds?

[–]Endorsed ContributorTaipanshimshon 71 points72 points  (22 children)

Nice story. But that’s not how divorce proceedings would go.

Your dad called her bluff.

The real question is why HE didn’t divorce a woman who didn’t want to be with him.

What a pussy.

[–]Starcruiser28 33 points34 points  (7 children)

By calling her bluff he saved his assets, he was in it for the long haul so keeping his shit at this point in time was the better option to him. That is how I would look at it. he could go find strange if he needed to, or she was pissed about something and tried to one up his ass and he called her bluff and she folded.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTaipanshimshon 19 points20 points  (6 children)

Meh. He still kept a woman around who didn’t want him and kept adding value to her life

[–]Zoltiel[S] 44 points45 points  (5 children)

Because it's better to live in a studio and drive a 99 civic as a 50+ year old man..

So when you get shit tested do you just drop a woman immediately because it means she doesn't want you?

[–]Endorsed ContributorTaipanshimshon 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Depends. But chances are going to see an attorney isn’t a shit test.

Anyway. You should probably argue this with someone else. I’m in the process of getting divorced because I value my life.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

There's no argument his dad is free to do whatever he wants so are you

[–]LukesLikeIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But he’s right. At the very least it should have raised red flags. It’s about respecting yourself

[–]1Goomich 8 points9 points  (1 child)

a woman who didn’t want to leave him.

This means she wanted to stay with him. Double negatives cancel themselfs.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTaipanshimshon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yea yes. I know I made a typo

[–]BewareTheOldMan 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I chalk it up to one of the few rough patches that most married couples go through as she was thinking about it, but was not truly serious. She did the cost benefit analysis and decided divorce was not in her best interest. A woman who goes through all that effort to preview divorce is also thinking about her post-divorce life. Divorced women with kids don't fare as well on the open market.

I suspect the OP's father didn't flinch, but they also worked through that particular rough patch. If she changed her mind, then it wasn't even a serous issue.

Years ago if a man just up and quit his job or got a lower paying job, alimony and child support was calculated at the amount of current employment versus previous employment - that tactic doesn't fly in the 21st Century. If a man tries that tactic today the court sees it as an attempt to evade alimony and/or child support.

It's mostly as a precaution to ensure child support as the state doesn't want that burden. If you were being a good, responsible father prior to divorce, the state is ensuring you will be a good, responsible father in post-divorce as well.

[–]SuperCrazy07 4 points5 points  (0 children)

that tactic doesn't fly in the 21st Century. If a man tries that tactic today the court sees it as an attempt to evade alimony and/or child support.

That was my first thought...this wouldn't work today unless the man had no assets and really was ok with trainwrecking his life.

[–]Zoltiel[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children)

The real question is why HE didn’t divorce a woman who didn’t want to leave him.

Why would you want to divorce a woman who wants to be with you..

[–]Endorsed ContributorTaipanshimshon 19 points20 points  (5 children)

Lol. She went to see a lawyer about divorce

[–]Zoltiel[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

That means she didn't want to be with him, you said "who didn't want to leave him" which means she wants to stay.

[–]Adem87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but for what reason. Obviously not love. Therefore nobody would hold such a woman.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I'd have dumped her when the time suited me after that anyway....

After all she's already thinking about it, she'll try it again later, and things will only get worse..the longer you leave it, the less of your lifetime you have left to build something back up again after the divorce fucks you over.

[–]BobLordOfTheCows 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Threatened with divorce? Put all your assets into cryptocurrency, leave the country.

[–]Adem87 8 points9 points  (1 child)

She will divorce rape him, when he retires. Saving money for this moment isn’t an option.

He should stop working. Spend all his savings, till he has nothing.

This would be the last point, where she would leave him and that’s fantastic.

[–]shadowq8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man fuck marriage in the west, only an idiot would get married under western laws.

[–]S-Blaze 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm telling any good guys that I know to not marry. My own parents were on the edge of divorce maybe 2 or 3 times (father threw a chandelier at my mom once lol) but they struck through it, a rare dedication. Lots of drama from my mom obviously (they all do) but my father knows how to handle that shit. He knows how to balance strength and comfort now. Great man and so is my mom, love them both so much, no one is perfect. Dont marry.

[–]DeadliftRx 1 points1 points [recovered]

Think about it guys.

  1. You already fucked up and got married.

  2. She's got you by the balls.

  3. She's yanking hard.

Take. Away. Her leverage. Quit your job. Buddy your money in a swamp, let thr payments fall through. She gets nothing.

And if all else fails and youre going to jail, anyway, remember that violence solved a lot of problems in the past.

[–]JGdc12 6 points7 points  (1 child)

going to jail is a no from me dawg

[–]DeadliftRx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Eirher a slave to the system or slave to a woman. Take your pick.

[–]Lambdal7 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Prenups guys. Yes, there are instances where they get invalidated, but those are extremely, extremely rare, 0.01% of them maybe. Happy to reconsider if someone finds opposing numbers.

[–]Narcissist456 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Do prenups allow you to avoid paying alimony?

[–]Westwood_1 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Yes. You're still on the hook for child support, and any conditions about custody won't be enforced (since the state does what is "best for the children" on a case-by-case basis) but stipulations about property are enforced. And that includes alimony.

[–]brocklanders3791 3 points4 points  (2 children)

that was a savage move by your father. I'd like to know how you percieved your mother after her little revelation.

[–]Zoltiel[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Didn't change anything. Those were rough times and cheating accusations flying around so I don't blame her.

[–]brocklanders3791 2 points3 points  (0 children)

fair enough brother, fair enough.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I told my ex the same thing. Also made sure I married a college-educated woman with a decent career, who earns income close to mine. I'll burn the whole thing down before I will work to subsidize the lifestyle of the lazy bitch that didn't think our marriage was worth enough effort to bother with the issues. I'd rather work part-time, live in an apartment and spend great, quality dime with my daughter than slave to make 120k and give 30% to her while she works part-time and spends my money on her social life. Earn it yourself. This is 2018 and there's your "Equality"!

[–]yumyumgivemesome 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can only wonder if divorces are just massive shit tests from wives.

This is an incredible TRP ShowerThought if I've ever read one.

[–]LotBuilder 13 points14 points  (12 children)

A real alpha trades her in for 2 20 year olds. Staying married to a woman that dislikes you to that point is miserable.

[–]Zoltiel[S] 6 points7 points  (11 children)

Did you read the part where the lawyers said my mom would get everything?

[–]LotBuilder 14 points15 points  (10 children)

That’s not how it works. Yes, guys get screwed in divorce but 3 years post divorce the men are in better financial shape than the women.

[–]Zoltiel[S] 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Depends on how long you have been married. If it was a couple years, yes I agree with you. If it is 20+ it is pretty much over for you, in my country at least (USA). That is why a lot of guys blow their brains out when they get the news if they've been married that long, they know it's over for them. A well known successful doctor did it in my city not too long ago.

[–]3LiveAFTSOV 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If you're a man getting divorced raped to the point of no return, I completely understand smoking the wife before smoking one's self.

[–]--Edog-- 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'd post my suicide note on Facebook and tell all mutual friends and family why I did it.

[–]crimsonkodiak 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If it is 20+ it is pretty much over for you, in my country at least (USA).

That's not entirely true. While it's the case that many states have guidelines that provide that marriages of 20+ years can have perpetual alimony, it's always been the case that the alimony obligation ceases upon the recipient's remarriage/cohabitation or the payor's retirement. Increasingly, there's been a shift away from perpetual awards anyway, as courts have begun to provide for shorter (often reviewable) time periods. And the amounts aren't that high. It varies by state, but in all states it's less than half of income and is further reduced by the recipient's income.

[–]LotBuilder 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I am also in the US and 10 years is the cut off for lifetime alimony. I’m familiar with this as I am going through a divorce of 10+ years. Divorce is expensive because it is worth it. I found myself to be much more productive and successful without a nagging wife in my ear. If you are a smart guy, you can structure your income in ways that minimizes how much you have to pay for life. I own my own business and run many expenses through the business. She gets paid off of what I pay myself. After she gets starved a bit and sees you know how to play the game, Make a lower lump sum offer and get her out of your hair. Women who need your money are in a very vulnerable, while they are takers they also know you can turn off the faucet at any time. They all take the sure thing. If they are pretty enough to land a beta bux they go in that direction quickly.

[–]Zoltiel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sucks man. Thanks for sharing.

[–]RedPilledRoaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did I mention, don’t get fucking married?

[–]DaddyGroove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cant get divorce raped if you dont get married in the first place

[–]punjabijaber 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to go through the same thing with my ex and every time I told her fuck off, but my favourite was the time she got a lawyer involved, I get a letter from this feminazi lawyer every single dad in town goes on about getting screwed from, so the letter is saying the usual they wanted me to commit to some arrangement they had drafted up, It was all good on her part I worked hard all week to pay her and then I got to take the kids all weekend to give her a break, or go on the cock carousel while she got a free babysitter basically, fuck that, not only did I give her a good cash in hand payment each week I asked for the kids when I had time wich was about 2 nights a week for dinner or help with homework ect. as they only stayed a few streets away from my dad who I was living with early on. and I took them out every Sunday without fail no overnighters though. anyway, I check my rights online and I write a handwritten letter back saying they can't do a fucking thing unless I first commit to an arrangement first and that I won't ever commit to anything on paper If she wanted to keep the kids that would be fine as I had just been offered a job abroad, I also told the lawyer to fuck-off with the junk mail letters or I would start proceedings for her harassing me. the next week I get a letter from the lawyer saying that my spelling and grammar was terrible and that was it the matter would be closed. I see that as a win as for my spelling and grammar you can probably tell I'm not all that good but my job doesn't need it and I get along fine without it. and a few months later she went to the child support to get more money from me and the child support people actually reduced my payments lol moral of the story don't trust anyone even professionals her lawyer was first trying to get me to sign my life away. and always look up you're rights as a father. sometimes you just need to pay up.

[–]ChrimsonChin988 1 points1 points [recovered]

Idk dude. I always say never do a bluff you’re not willing to follow through on, because when someone calls your bluff, you’re done.

[–]Guardian_of_Justice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The sad realities of a western civilisation. I wonder if it is the price you pay to be the "leaders" in emancipation, human rights and "democracy".

[–]captainfashion 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I was almost divorced from my wife. Took years of marriage counseling and many long discussions at night.

The stress took years off my life undoubtedly.

However, I am a man of my principles and I will not bend them for anyone, including my wife. When I make a promise I damn well keep it. I made a vow to my wife and I told her that I will not break it simply because she is unhappy. We have two small kids and I told her there was no way in hell I was going to put our children through that kind of trauma. I was not going anywhere, so she better start trying to fix things.

After finding an excellent marriage counselor and my wife realizing that a lot of her problems were due to the fact that she suffered from attention deficit disorder, she's now medicated and things have never been better.

Holding frame is not about putting yourself first and telling the world to f*** off. It's about being principled and tenacious when it comes to living and practicing your beliefs.

Scarface said it best. I've only got two things in this world. My word and my balls, and I don't break them for No One.

[–]fatboy-slim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! Your dad is beast man!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (9 children)

he pretty much told her that he would just quit his six figure job and she wouldn't get jack. After this news, she folded and called off the divorce.

Yea, sounds like he had 'a lot of power'. Get rid of everything just so some cunt won't get your stuff, what is this bullshit? And your idiot dad is still married to this cunt, seriously?

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 8 points9 points  (3 children)

While I get where you're coming from, ya gotta be such a fucking dick? That's OP's parents. Have a little tact. You sound like an angsty teenager.

[–]Zoltiel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not everyone's perfect, I wish things could have been better growing up but it is what it is.

[–]DeadliftRx 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Are you suggesting that you believe money and property make you a man?

Perhaps you are not a man.

[–]btrpb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Money, property. And gainz. 😂

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