Red Pill TheoryWhat Good / Nice really means and why its usually anything but Good / Nice (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by SKRedPill

It might have helped you a little bit as a boy, when you were more of an emotional creature and you needed the reward of flattery to get you to behave.

But as you grow older, the "Good / Nice" label is really another way of saying that you comply with serving someone else's script of they want you to be, you enter another person's frame, you let another person run your life, you follow another person's ideas, someone else's imperatives.

These people are happy with you and praise you only because they are getting what they want out of you. For them it is advantageous for you to stay a beta and they will on the pretext of being nice to you, keep you that way. It could be your parents, your partners, your friends, your boss, your co-workers, a religion that needs faith and followers, or the government, and especially the media horseshit.

Few people are interested in your long term authentic welfare - and if they exist, their first task will be to take the goggles off and see everything for what it is. I suggest you be that person to yourself.

Try to break the pattern - do something you want to do, implement one of your own ideas, do things in a new way, say no to some stuff that isn't helping you down the road. Work on your needs for a while. You don't have to do anything big for this - just buy your own stuff, just go start lifting, think independently. And just watch what happens to every one who put you on that "good boy" pedestal... your own family included.

You might just realize how much your good boy label has really held you back from an authentic life with a more mature awareness. You might even learn the unpleasant truth that no one really respected your frame at any time, because you never had one to begin with. You will learn that you never came full circle from boyhood dependency to manhood. You might realize the horror that most of your relationships depended on you being the beta in the first place, your long term welfare be damned. It was comfortable for them to stay with the familiar dysfunctional patterns. Now even if the new pattern is really in everyone's benefit, still you'll be met with fierce resistance.

As a child, you were under the shadow of bigger trees than you. As you get bigger, those other trees are getting bigger in their own ways. When did you last see a great tree under the shadow of another? You didn't. That's a risk yes, but that needs to be done, or else your own growth and potential will never find the space it needs.

One of the things you learn after waking up is that what feels painful isn't always bad, and what feels pleasant is often anything but good down the road. Your enemies may be openly hostile with you, but they're also more honest. That boss of yours who isn't at all friendly to anyone? Well, he's probably the most honest guy in the whole place. Sometimes it's the friendliest people that are often harmful.

There is also a popular trend of rationalization out there which tells you that "It's enough to be a good person, and things will happen". Well, take a look at the most frustrated people out there -- all 'good' people.

There's an accident victim on the road, needing first aid urgently. All the goodness of reading the Bible, being a guy who doesn't swear, is basically a 'good person' won't work - you need an ambulance and paramedics there who can actually help. You go there and argue about how good a person you are and why you deserve to help, you're actually pissing everyone off and interfering. You could do more harm than good.

There's no point in being a so called - 'nice person' only to wonder why you got wet in the rain while all the 'bad ones' 'cheated' by coming prepared with raincoats and umbrellas. If you don't want to get wet, you have to do the right thing for that. And what goodness is that which only resulted in you getting sick at the end of the day? Are you even good to yourself?

You know who thinks he's doing the greatest good on earth? It's that guy who just blew himself up taking many others with him, thinking he's doing something holy. I mean, you have to be utterly convinced in your own goodness if you can do something that extreme. So what's good is sometimes anything but.

Feel good and real good are two totally different things. What we call as good or nice is only a rationalization that we tell ourselves so that we can feel better than the other guy. It is not authentic. It's what we do, and the consequences of what we do, that really mean anything. More damage has been done in the name of good intentions than anything else on earth.

So, it's time to kick out this pseudo goodness and get real with what's going on. It's far more important and authentic to be the right person for what needs to be done, than to be a so called 'good / nice' guy.

[–]1Noblefiz 139 points140 points  (13 children)

This really just clicked for me a couple hours ago.

You’re right that one of the side effects of swallowing the pill is gaining the ability to realize all the other smaller matrixes within the larger. Who’s frame are you operating in? Are you acting within your best interests; operating within your frame? Or somebody elses? Are you thinking for yourself, learning and coming up with your own conclusions or are you just swallowing whatever you’re told?

You have to put yourself first above all else and stop living within other peoples frames. It’s a really strange, surreal experience when it first clicks; that shift of awareness into your own reality. I haven’t been able to fall asleep because of it. Nice post.

[–]willowhawk 11 points12 points  (10 children)

What does living in others frame actually mean? If I helped someone because I thought it would help social standings, I'd that my frame or their frame because I care what others think - even though it's important to play the social game

[–]Idontwatchtv1986 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Yeah you play the social game but your long term goal is what matters the most. Regardless of what you read on the red pill. I still believe that poem that starts with “no man is an island entire of its own” . If there is anything I learned from my hard times is to not start anything I cannot finish. and I also applies it to the social game!

[–]Mushwoo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

ted talk on alphas. I support the idea of getting other people to assist your frame, or you him if it supports yours

[–]BlackCraneStoic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a dark path but it's said that self interests are the only interests worth promoting. Whether you choose as an individual focus on your on advantage others are squarely focused on getting theirs regardless of whether you do the same. Might as well join the bandwagon.

[–]1Noblefiz 13 points14 points  (1 child)

That would be your frame, merely pretending to be in theirs. Any action you take that is part of your own path is your frame. Sometimes our paths take us across or in-sync with another persons path. Sometimes it’s mutually advantageous to assist other people if it furthers your own goals. But if you’re doing it because someone told you it would be advantageous and you didn’t decide that for yourself, then it’s not your frame.

[–]EdAnt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously you have to judge each unique situation for yourself.

[–]uwey -1 points0 points  (2 children)

For example, someone is bigger, taller than you, and you accept the fact.

By deny and go around, even passive aggressively shame (yes, shame) by give them stereotypes (anything can be used against them, and everything you have is to enhance your reputation)

So goes like this:

A short regular dude clash with typical linebacker college alpha, after frame is engaged (small talks, social setting)

Small dude had very relaxed and easy going pace, he poke fun of how big Jason is and why he should drop out college and go pro on any type of sport, or even silently hint how disproportionate his neck or any flaw in his body.

Use social clue (if he is ripped, he CARE his body) So you dig what they care the most, and ridicule, poke fun, and shift attention. Pull the attention and make their BEST aspect trivial and ignorable. Deny what you can’t have, and do it tactfully. Even funny. Joke how they should ban his muscle because is huge, and mention to ban his forearm remind you of straw etc.

Mind you, don’t fucked up, because you can get punch in the face and you need to look for exit as quick as you get your social frame established. Move on.

Make people live in your idea, and diminish other people’s idea, when they try to pull you into argument, show them things you can do or present higher value. I don’t normally strike first, but I leave gap do people can attack me, and I lure them in to flip them if they went too far. (You sounds like racist and I don’t know what you do at your personal time, perhaps criminal activity? Are you a pimp too?) insult in quick not loud and encouraging way, and completely ignore them to build contempt, then bring them a exit so they can take it and fits YOUR narrative.

There is also a win-win situation, but both need to see what’s worth in other man.

[–]Truedemocracy4 8 points9 points  (1 child)

How the hell do you consider that establishing frame when literally anyone with decent social acumen will know you're overcompensating for being a short weak dweeb, especially if this is unprovoked.

Also, as someone that is tall and fit and gets shit tests from short fat friends more than from fucking women (betas and women are the same in many ways) a lot of it is similar to what chris rock said "you can't punch down". You can make fun of my appearance, but if I make fun of yours it's all of a sudden a major insult.

That being said I still haven the come up with a response yet besides hanging out with them less (crabs in a bucket mentality)

[–]uwey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time and situation are different, you got to up play your advantage/minimized and bypass disadvantage.

Bait, and dance with the person in the head, react to their word but say it with trap and bait in the sentence for them to take, make people say words you dictate, and make sure flip them or make them angry.

(complete ignore, and bait them to ask you why you so short, and yell why you so fucking retarded that you have to repeat/ask obvious question? or because he is gay he want to hit on you? What ? you want to hit on me? Go away I have standard (I don’t date tall chicks))

So physique and social setting observation, you can however see people and use them for leverage, some dude just look big, some normal dude had crazy social proof, is all different.

I will go for younger dudes that just big and lack of social experience, especially college type, you got credit from him already by challenge him head on because most people would not. Study him a bit, maybe turn it to a win-win social ice breaker by joke a bit.

I alway profit from good looking dude that had no brain or not smart enough to speak on their feet. I use so many weapons in arsenal and can get people to rage and call it jokes and make sure you toy them a bit. Boost ego and slam down, or opposite. Talk and social interaction is important, just make sure you know who everyone try to please and don’t piss off the real mob boss. Fuck with everyone if they look, and present trait of weakness, and push back (no, ignore, or turn around) when need it.

Attack is timing, defense is not. Build enemy is actually lots of fun, because it will lead to very strange but interesting dynamics. If your enemy is worthy, they will turn to your best friends. Your friend however, can turn to the worst nightmare if you don’t know to handle them.

I am 6’1 but plenty of shorter friends who know how social small talk works, they are words master, the engineer of modern English. People listen to them because they are very interesting. They are real social proof because they command and control the party.

My English is far from perfect, and yes people would defend me when dumb fucks try to point out I speak less than perfect English, they get shamed by my people for I speak fluently with 4. (You are racist? This guys speak more then 4 language, you only speak English?)

[–]DwightWolftail 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Women are one thing, and an important one, but it goes back to family, friends the hobbies you have chosen, your work, and even politics. Most people make this network around them without even knowing they are doing it for others. It is easy in our society to sucked up into a system, where you ''have'' to marry, you ''have'' to work 9-5, you ''have'' to believe in equal right. All because the government, some other asshole or a balloon femtard says it.

[–]kalashnick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couldn't have said it better.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Isn't this also covered in the book "No More Mister Nice Guy"?

[–]xxcups 0 points1 point  (3 children)

All I remember from that book is a bunch of pussy husbands not standing up for themselves, letting their wives run the show. These men thought total deference is what the wifes wanted. I only made it halfway through.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you need to be more patient and analyze things deeper

[–]c_w_o_o_l_l_y 10 points11 points  (1 child)

He used extreme cases as examples.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't even say they were that extreme. A few were kinda extreme, but a lot of them seemed to not be far from reality.

[–]ebaymasochist[🍰] 35 points36 points  (6 children)

There's a quote about "are you nice out of strength or out of weakness?"

Do you help people because you are really able to and expect nothing in return, you generally enjoy helping people, others have helped you in the past and feel good about paying it forward.

Or are you constantly helping people because you are trying to get something from them in return? You think if you didn't help them they would kick you to the curb and you would be worse without them. "my only value is doing something for you"

[–]1TrenGod37 21 points22 points  (3 children)

This is very important to note because new guys come here and take it as they should be a dick to everyone. Fuck everyone.

You can still be a good person and live by your own rules. I think the major take away from this is why are you being a good person is it because it’s what you want to do. Or is it because you think it will get you something or somewhere. A lot of “nice guys” do things in hopes people will like them more. Or to avoid conflict.

[–]gbdoragnic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You can still be a good person and live by your own rules.

But that defeats the purpose , still being a good person rather than being yourself

[–]1TrenGod37 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If being your self equals doing good things then no

[–]Truedemocracy4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That first quote is very powerful and something I realized later in life. So many nice people are nice not because they are genuinely kind but because they are weak. Wait until they get power (if ever) to see who they really are.

Similarly with "nice guys" and white knights towards women. These guys usually are weak and undesirable, hence why they are nice and kind

[–]gbdoragnic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you help people because you are really able to and expect nothing in return, you generally enjoy helping people, others have helped you in the past and feel good about paying it forward.

Not quite that simple

Or are you constantly helping people because you are trying to get something from them in return?

Doesn't make a difference, your understanding of realities dictate your actions. Not doing something nice would be a sin to a nice person.

[–]drty_pr 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I would say that being "good" and being "nice" are mutually exclusive. IMO, I see it as:

  • "nice" - being pleasing or agreeable in nature
  • "good" - being positive or desirable in nature

You can be a "good guy" and be RedPill, but you can't be a "nice guy" and be RedPill.

[–]gbdoragnic 5 points6 points  (1 child)

you can be pleasing and agreeable to those who earned it

[–]Pepethe2nd 21 points22 points  (1 child)

The ambulance and raincoat metaphors were a bit out there for me. But definitely puts a new viewpoint on "No More Mr Nice Guy" for me.

The part about compliance especially resonated

[–]phenethyljammin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The ambulance and raincoat metaphors were a bit out there for me.

Same here. It's the lack of a juxtaposing 'bad guy' in the metaphor that makes it unsatisfying.

[–]deathsatan666 16 points17 points  (8 children)

The most underappreciated difference between Nice Guys and regular dudes is that Nice Guys are deeply uncomfortable with their own sexuality. They're even afraid of having boners in some cases because they think its a sign of weakness to show that they're aroused . They're afraid to assert themselves when it comes to leading a sexual encounter, escalating or even expressing their sexual preferences. They often have issues with porn because as a result of their awkwardness and fear interacting with those they're attracted to they inevitably drift to the easy and infinite access of virtual female bodies.

Nice Guys believe that they "shouldn't" feel out of control in any situation, often feeling uncomfortable around substances and avoid alcohol or situations where alcohol will be present. Similarly when it comes to sex they don't like losing control of their erections and arousal and would rather fall back into masturbation and porn to experience release. This leads to a very malformed character with traits that are similar to those in low seretonin, lack of confidence and/or low testosterone behaviors. Nice Guys are essentially scared of their own masculinity. The fear also aligns up with nonviolent philosophies like Buddhism and leftist politics (the "universalist man" as Jack Donovan calls it in Becoming a Barbarian) where the Nice Guy can rationalize their fears by wrapping it in a cloak of morality that says people should sacrifice their desires to uplift all others to a certain baseline need.

In that way they live with their malformed character having convinced themselves it is a superior state to be in because if they were to become an asshole and take what they want in life they would be succumbing to the same instincts they lead to capitalist exploitation of the masses and [insert oppression here]. The Nice Guy doesn't always intellectualize it to this degree. Often the Nice Guy feels that he is "different" from others in a vacuous, mystical way that also further distances himself from his physical needs because he believes they are an illusion (in the Buddhist sense), superfluous/distracting (in the Socialist or MGTOW sense), or low/beneath his ego (which he doesn't call ego because he hates egoists and instead calls it a Soul which elevates his sense of self-importance, enlightenment and noble nature).

The Nice Guy has turned away from his sexuality because his sexuality is intellectualized as repulsive, immoral or unethical - it can go both ways, wherein as a result of sexual dysfunction (PIED: porn induced erectile dysfunction), premature ejaculation, or embarassing experience(s) he allows to traumatize him, he makes leaps of mental gymnastics (hamstering) to rationalize his performance and tell himself Its Okay. Nice Guy Syndrome is a palliative, it fees good, its very low-testosterone and very antimasculine.

The Nice Guys don't express their own desires, likes or needs because they truly believe they don't have any - they repress them to the point of being trampled on others, hopeful for the scraps of affection they stumble upon - as if they're some kind of beggar with an alms bowl of assisted ejaculation, hugs and kisses. Nice Guys want things to change without putting in any work - they want to read books about Being a Man, watch TV and movies and then LARP in everyday life without lifting, changing their behavior or making any substantial changes in their life. Nice Guy Syndrome is the first obstacle for many Blue Pill Billies, hence the sidebars (TRP and MRP). Nice Guys basically despise themselves and never find fulfilling happiness because they ignore those needs which are the only ones capable of lasting satisfaction in life. Which is funny because they are so afraid of being sexually aggressive because they denigrate sex itself as an unimportant thing, yet they masturbate all the damn time and as a consequence of their twisted internalizations of guilt/shame have so many issues in the workplace, socially and can't even interact with strangers without feeling ashamed of something.

These Nice Guys hamster their way into being egoists of the highest order, hence the white knighting, etc. Yet their whole ego is built on shame for having needs and desires as an earthly creature which they've transmogrified into a reason to (imagine they can) elevate above their corporal stature - an impossible task that requires constant fantasizing and imagination (hence the endless hamstering).

[–]SKRedPill[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Thank a feminized upbringing and a female dominated school system and the feminine incapacity for understanding the male experience for that - thank sedentary comfort and the stuff our food gets exposed to for the low T.

The nice guy's programming is all feminine ego thinking in a man's body (and even there not a very healthy ego at that). Everything you just described is how women think and feel in general. This lack of connection to his authentic masculine energy is the fundamental dishonesty within the Nice Guy that's at the root of all his problems.

[–]gbdoragnic 1 point2 points  (2 children)

> The nice guy's programming is all feminine ego thinking in a man's body

Wow, I always said the same thing, I never see anyone even using the term female ego but rather attacking men from having one. Men have been living in a feminine ego for so long, and the old Nice guy isn't good enough.

Too many men are waking up, therefore Nice guys are getting a entirely new ego, a ego that redefines their emotions and their worth is once again determined by their morals.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Society has kind of made it popular to talk of only the male ego. But women do very much have an ego of their own, and it's never been bigger.

[–]gbdoragnic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sad thing Is most guys here still don't believe in this concept and are becoming another form of nice guy.

[–]gbdoragnic 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Are you speaking from Experience?

> These Nice Guys hamster their way into being egoists of the highest order,

As a former nice guy, I believed this to be the entire point of life

[–]deathsatan666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I was a Nice Guy too. All these examples are from my own fucked up thought patterns that developed over many years.

[–]Ezaar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d take care about the Buddhist examples. Even though this is an illusion, the advisement is to not cling to it as such and to actually participate in life. That whole duality and singular context of reality.

What really seems to be the issue with what you stated is the reward associated with behavior. With all examples given, there’s nothing wrong with being as they are. It’s just the lack of incongruence associated with who you are not, relative to those paths stated.

Lacking a certain amount of continual introspection seems to be the cause. But if we’re all looking to be rewarded for certain behavior, then there’s no value in being a certain way.

I personally think it’s an important exercise, as men, to appreciate the contemplation of the idea of being alone for the rest of your life and how to live alone for the rest of your life. Evaluating from that perspective clears a lot of externalities out while leaving room for more if you desire.

[–]SidgeBlueCollars 11 points12 points  (0 children)

'When did you last see a great tree under the shadow of another?'

Love this!! Great post mate.

[–]1cappadocianhawk 21 points22 points  (1 child)

You have to look out for yourself because to everyone else you are a tool to be used to get what they want. Even if another person cares deeply about you, they are still going after the feelz they get when they see you do well. It's still about them, not you. We are social creatures but we are also deeply individualistic.

Every human interaction is a transaction. Don't sell yourself on the cheap.

[–]UncleChido 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Every human interaction is a transaction. Don't sell yourself on the cheap.

Always thought about this too. Good post.

[–]netherlanddwarf 28 points29 points  (1 child)

This needs to be way more upvoted. TRP is not just about women, it's about being your own person and not being a slave to anyone.

[–]pevans12 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Once a man has some what of a foundation in terms of a physical presents he is somewhat satisfied with he continues to grow and learn from lessons that make him a stronger person on his own

The woman in the mans life is something that highlights his life in a manor that helps him grow to feel satisfied so long as he maintains the foundation that he started and wanted for himself.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 9 points10 points  (1 child)

When I was younger, I would beam with pride if a woman called me nice. Over time, I realized that zero of these women slept with me. After finding TRP, a young woman told me I was "a very nice man" and I knew immediately to invest nothing further into her. Young me would have been easily exploitable for months of beta orbiting after a "compliment" like that.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thing is that woman could very easily be your mom or teachers - the reward of being called 'nice' is very easy to condition and I don't think such BP conditioned boys ever see the truth until later in life when they're the victim of this -- the realization that 'mom' totally skews their entire relationship with the feminine doesn't occur to them till it hits them in their face - they find that their relationship with 'mom' is different from all their relationships with women - and even most of 'mom' is only applicable as a boy. In a man's world, it's always about being the right guy for the role needed, not the 'good boy' tag that ever works.

If the feminine was defined by the AF/BB dichotomy, the masculine has to deal with the boy/man dichotomy and a lot of men don't make the full circle. As far as women go, there are only girls and bigger girls with responsibilities. (Which btw is usually what they say about us).

[–]AussiecuntTRP 31 points32 points  (1 child)

It's funny. This is what Ayn Rand talks about and it's why she's so hated. Morality has been used since the start of human kind to exploit people. We are taught from childhood that we should sacrifice our lives to our wives or the bum on the street. If you ask the question "why?" the answer is always because someone (usually god) said so.

Your life is your life. Why should you give it up to be "good" if it means sacrificing your own life and your own values?

[–]kalashnick 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are right. It's hard reversing course once you awaken to these truths. Especially after years of being the obediant, non-troublesome boy in school who fed off of praise from adults.

[–]dcmcmd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Great post. My red pilling has extended recently to the work environment and a lot of what you say about 'good guy' = 'compliant' resonates a lot. It also gives me a new perspective on some people I thought were assholes. They may still be assholes but they might also be right!

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Agree with the message of the post,

Being seen as a "good" person while satisfying the desires of others at the cost of oneself is limiting to an individuals growth.

However, there are many instances where the benefit is mutual.

Simple example. I do something for my boss. He thinks I'm a really great guy and I get a promotion.

It's important to weigh up the cost benefit of your actions and question am I being seen as a "nice guy" and benefiting from this.

Or am I being seen as a nice guy to my detriment and the benefit of someone else.

[–]ebaymasochist[🍰] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

I feel like your example has its flaws. If your boss gives you nothing in return, will you still be the "nice guy"? Or will you feel slighted and become "angry passive aggressive asshole guy"?

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I think you get my point though but for arguments sake,

I would learn from the experience and possibly adopt a less nice approach in future.

[–]ebaymasochist[🍰] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I do get your point and maybe it is the best course of action for some.. But say hypothetically you're in a growing company. You're Mr Nice Guy cause you think it's going to lead to promotions from the boss. Well since you're a growing company, eventually they decide to have a dedicated customer service department. Who do they want to run that? Mr Nice Guy is just so damn nice, he's the perfect guy to deal with pain in the ass disgruntle customers all day.. They're also hiring a new head of sales division, but that's for the asshole guy who just does what he has to and isn't worried about making friends. He won't take no for an answer. not so nice. But he's gonna make a lot more money.

Just hypothetical, I have no idea what you do for a living

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Far from corporate, but let's go with the hypothetical.

I am in no way advocating being a disillusioned nice guy. One who tries to be nice in the vague hope that they will be rewarded for this niceness.

What I'm advocating is strategically employing niceness in situation that requires it for the benefit of ones self.

So If we're going back to the hypothetical. My boss say "KeffirLime can you do (insert task) and you'll get a promotion"

I'm seen as a nice guy, complete said task and receive a promotion. I directly benefitted from my actions.

I could say I'm nobodies bitch give the task to someone else, but i would be limiting my growth within that company.

Be nice strategically, when you know I't benefits you. Not in the hope that someday you'll be rewarded for your niceness.

[–]ebaymasochist[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that sounds reasonable.. I guess the problem comes with "unspoken contracts" where one party doesn't know they are involved.

[–]Sisu6972 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Passive aggression is a born from fear just like being a nice guy is. You are too much of a pussy to overcome your fear of conflict and express it in a passive way. Realizing that you are a nice guy and changing your ways so that you aren’t a pushover and can establish your boundaries clearly, is the opposite of passive aggression- only people with no spine are passive aggressive.

[–]Sitchnatio 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My boss do the same, he always says I'm a good guy and I think that's good to some point.

Actually he sees me as beta and naive.

I think it's the same for you

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fortunately I am my own boss,

But yes, something to be wary of.

[–]DeontologicalSanders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Differentiation is needed here.

Being good/nice is a very good thing. It's one of the things that separates men from women. Morality, true morality, is male in origin. Living your life by a moral compass is inherently masculine. Treating people how you would want to be treated (provided it doesn't cost you anything) is what makes society stable and peaceful and productive. But being a good person is the last step in self-actualization. Steps that comes before it include power, wealth, influence, and status. No one cares if you're nice or mean if you don't have these things.

Wanting to be considered good/nice without having these things in place is cancer to any man. Women are nice because they have to be. They have to be perceived as kind and pleasant, because they are weak. When 50% of the population could cave your skull in at the drop of a hat, you had better be on your best behavior, and not appear to be ruffling feathers or starting conflicts. Seeking positive public reputation without providing any value is bitch behavior, plain and simple.

Know the difference.

[–]MentalMonkey16 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Isaiah 5:20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

Matthew 5:45 ... for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

[–]RedVelocitiy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What are you trying to say

[–]MentalMonkey16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just some scriptures that came to mind while reading OP, I like what was said!

[–]duntoon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember reading that the word "nice" used to mean "stupid" or "simple" in archaic English. It described a man who was moronic, but harmless.

[–]Redditcensorshiptest 1 points1 points [recovered]

Reminder that the New York Times supports their board member who advocates for the genocide of white people.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The media's far too full of horseshit, and seems to have a preference for highly dysfunctional people.

[–]xxcups 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Men are supposed to be "good boys" who follow along and accept NYT and Ms. Asian Hitler

[–]Demiurge_Decline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simple but Powerful. I'd think this is the first step towards releasing the alpha.

[–]3nebder 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Solid message. Be a selfish “asshole” in general. Choose to be kind when it suits you and meets your own internal criteria.

It’s perfectly acceptable to be kind of your own choosing. The difference between kindness & nice guy syndrome is expected reciprocation. The nice guy thinks I do X so the recipient does Y in return. Fuck covert contracts. You want to do something kind, generous, loving or what have you, then you do you if thats your choice. You cannot hold an expectation that your favors will ever be returned. There be dragons.

My kids and the people close and important to me get my kindness when I determine it’s appropriate for me to be kind. I like being kind when it doesn’t set me back farther than I can accept.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Abundant kindness is never an issue. The problem with most so called acts of kindness is that it is usually a way of hooking up a hose to the other person and a covert form of validation seeking. You can see this behaviour in social dealings easily.

This generally results in the giver giving what he wants to offer rather than giving what the receiver needs, and getting frustrated that his goodness is not appreciated - what he really needs is reaffirmation of his goodness. When that doesn't happen, the Nice Guy eventually rationalizes that the world is too bad for good people like him and therefore he becomes openly contemptuous to the world - then he isn't so nice anymore.

[–]gbdoragnic -1 points0 points  (0 children)

> The difference between kindness & nice guy syndrome is expected reciprocation.

No, hoping for reciprocation and expecting is two different things

[–]Blackpowahlol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On your deathbed you wont give a single fuck about all the people that you offended, only about how you spent your time. In the modern western world (except for the US) you have enough safety nets to not take shit from anyone. Yet, 80-90% of the western world live like scared sheep. There is no need for this type of lifestyle. On the other hand: if everyone started living like they should, who knows what would happen on a global scale? Maybe the fear that is instilled on people (religion being the major factor) is necessary to make the system function on a global scale.

[–]Zech4riah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This may be the language and/or a bit cultural thing but good may mean something else.

When I've initiated dropping the plate they have told me "Oh too bad, you are a good guy" (in my native language obviosly). Which pretty much translates that she would have wanted to keep me and keep fucking me.

So In my native language "good guy" is a different thing than "nice guy".

[–]Stanleyhudsonissassy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s true about friendly people when they get mad watch out they play petty games on you. Sometimes though

[–]gbdoragnic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> One of the things you learn after waking up is that what feels painful isn't always bad, and what feels pleasant is often anything but good down the road.

I have a issue with this mindset because it is one of many theories that has taken dominance in all sexual strategy subs, It seems like this is a method to pull people out of their delusions, but in fact it is the very delusion that placed them in someone else's frame in the first place.

Blue pill guys choose pain because of morality, the nicest is your own morals, but you truly feel nice, but that is the entire point, to go against your feelings because it's civilized, nice, and safe and the proper way to treat women.

Anytime men are told to be themselves it comes after a long list of subconscious requirements

> All the goodness of reading the Bible, being a guy who doesn't swear, is basically a 'good person' won't work - you need an ambulance and paramedics there who can actually help.

This makes no sense, nor is this even a argument, this is Straw man, We can all agree being nice guy is bad, but having a proper understanding on what's going on rather than this shock to the system type deal where people will treat you like shit, stop acting this way.

> Feel good and real good are two totally different things. What we call as good or nice is only a rationalization that we tell ourselves so that we can feel better than the other guy. It is not authentic.

There is Delusion too, most nice guys are under strong delusions, In other words they understand it isn't what they feel, they also understand it is there duty and mission as a man. Toxic Masculinity is being a redefined version of a men is the new nice guy.

[–]StrawberryBlondeHaze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice sentiment, but dear God, is this poorly written. Could have been half as long and twice as succinct.

[–]Jeffspark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for writing this. I’ve been in this false illusion for a very long time, that if people were praising me and appreciating me all the time, then I was doing the right things. Now I have realized that it’s the exact opposite most of the times.

[–]bot256 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No more Mr. Nice Guy - a must read for guys suffering from the nice guy symptom

[–]Zippy1776 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% correct on all points.

[–]derindel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol this is quite a broad stereotype. Theres nothing wrong with not walking around with your dick out all the time.

[–]freew33zy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My Mom often says she chose my Father because he was "nice." He's really just fully BP and worships her--not once in my life have I overheard them having sex or even being remotely sexual. I wonder why.