> English is not my primary language.
Hello everybody. I have always wanted to give back the TRP community a piece of what I have become, thanks to you. And I see no better moment than this one.
I want this topic to encourage those who are still with the blue pill in the throat. I want to tell you that you must change, for your own good, and for all of those around you. Friends, family, wife/gf.... you must become the rock they all can lay on, if needed.
I want to remark: TRP is not all about banging chicks. It's about self-improvement, about inner change, about becoming mentally strong, about becoming a man.
Who I was
- Lost virginity at 20 yo. Girlfriend cheated on me afterwards. Cried, and cried. Been in depression for months.
- Til the age of 16 I couldn't even get into a supermarket alone, because I didn't know what to say to the cashier.
- I thought love would find me. I though my half orange was waiting for me, somewhere.
- I couldn't even talk to a girl without getting completly nervous.
- I would go on a date and not even try to escalate.
- I though girls who fucked strangers or kissed guys on clubs where whores.
- I thought going to the gym is a waste of time.
- I didn't read.
- I didn't meditate. I thought that was a monk thing.
- I felt special. Different from the rest, with a bright future ahead, just because it was me.
- I would break down for any harsh comment a friend, girl, or random person would make on me.
- I was a pessimist.
- I would complain of everything I disliked, as the weather.
Seriously. Who the fuck would want a date with this guy? If you see yourself in some of the statements above, then you certainly need a change in your life.
IF I COULD CHANGE, YOU CAN CHANGE
I know. If you are shy like I was, It's easy to say "go cold approach". Or if you are weak and full of complexes it's easy to say "go to the gym", but not so easy to do. But nothing good happens in the comfort zone. So you must get out of there.
Going to the gym is a must. And by that I don't mean doing gym-at-home or some shit like that. Hit the gym, lift, rest, and lift again. If you want to change, you must change from the inside and from the outside. Increasing your SMV gives you confidence. Gives you more power, and you will be much happier and less stressed.
We live in a superficial world. Your body is your product. Treat it well. Why do you think receptionists are that hot? The outside matters.
I know there is a voice inside your head remembering your every day of all of your complexes. That voice isn't you. That voice is all your past traumas, all the society standards, all the shit that could go wrong. Kill that voice. In fact, you are not your brain. Stop listening to yourself, and start talking to yourself. Force yourself and take action.
But, you can be as worked up as you want and keep being mentally weak. An inner change is needed. Becoming mentally strong will not only improve your life, but all of those around you.
As going to the gym, life is made by good habits, rather than with motivation. As motivation easily flies away, good habits can remain for a lifetime. Here are some of the most important ones. Cut your mind off when not following those.
- Stop complaining about everything. Why the fuck would you waste energy on complaining about the rain, or about the traffic jam. There are things that simply you can't change. Don't put your energy there.
- Stop feeling so special. You are just another guy. No one knows you and probably that will never change. Don't spend 1h choosing which socks fits with your tie, because no one will notice, and even if they did, they wouldn't give a fuck.
- Be realistic about your expectations. Following point 2. Fixing unrealistic expectations will lead to nothing good. Remember you're not special. You won't get a job and be promoted in 1 week just because 'its you'.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. There's no a fucking roadmap to live your life. What matters to you may not matter to someone else. Your life goals are not the same. Rather waste your energy on how to improve yourself.
- Don't dwell on the past. The past is gone. The present is all that matters. Stop focusing on what you could do differently, about what you should have said, about what should you have rather said than what you actually said.... man, life is too short for this shit. The past is a tool to improve the future. Learn from your mistakes.
- Begin with the end in mind and celebrate milestones. Whenever you need a change, begin with the end in mind. Or what it's the same; begin with you end goals in mind. I am not talking about your life goals, but with thing you want to do. Take the needed steps to get there, and celebrate your progress along the road, reward your effort.
- Force yourself to TALK. Force yourself to start becoming social. Talk with the grandma in the street and ask her what time is it. Talk with the cashier in the supermarket. When with friends, leave the phone in your pocket and talk. When in the club, talk with girls, talk with guys, talk with people. Becoming social will boost your confidence. Seriosuly, that's not hard to do. It's not about fucking a random girl you just met in the backseat of your car at 5 PM, its just about becoming a social guy. With everybody. AND FUCKING SMILE.
- Meditate. Start with 3-5 minutes a day after waking up or before going to sleep. That will make a huge impact in your life.
- True love is within yourself. Learn to love yourself. Do not expect any other person to fulfill you. Cut off all the Disney bullshit you have been hearing for years. Girls are cool, I love girls, and I love to speak to them, filtr with them and fuck them hard, but I DO NOT expect any girl to fulfill me. If their values are aligned with mine, they are welcome to join me on my road.
And IMO the most important tip, that has helped me the most: BE PRESENT AT THE MOMENT.
You can't change the past, and the future hasn't arrived. The present moment is all you have. Enjoy it. We live our lives thinking about what we should have done or about what will or won't do in 3 weekends. Leave your phone at home, go get a long walk and enjoy the landscape, leave your mind alone for a while.
Let me explain it like this: Imagine 200 million years ago a conversation between two dinosaurs. One of them asks: "What time is it?" and the other answers, "Well, it's now. I mean, what do you mean?". This may sound fucking stupid, but it's the reality. All we have is this moment, and this moment is the most powerful thing you'll ever have.
Our brain is our tool. If used bad, can lead to depression, anxiety, traumas, self-pity.... Think about it. We just think about the past, or about the future. We dwell on the past, and we hope on the future. Our mind don't let us be present at the moment. If you want to become mentally strong, you gotta control your mind and thoughts. You gotta see your mind from the outside and don't let her influence you too much. Whenever you find yourself being unrealistic, feeling special, complaining about something or somene, remembering how bad and harsh was your childhood... CUT IT OFF. LIFE DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. Even if you had the most fucked up childhood anyone can have, no one owes you shit.
As you can see, those things I have writen above are things that you can start doing from now.
Those small changes will make a big positive impact in your life. I am not asking you to go approach random girls on the street being a virgin or spending 3h per day at the gym if you weight 50kg. I am not telling you to do any extraordinary thing. Just small changes that will change your life forever.
I will not write about who I am now, because I want this topic to focus on the community. But I have a long way to go still, and I am excited about the road I have ahead.
THANK YOU TRP.