Red Pill TheoryAnd this is why feeling shame, pity and sorry for yourself earns you no respect. Knowing the masculine way of dealing with pain is one of the largest mental muscles of a strong man. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by SKRedPill

TL:DR - Women can't help you deal with pain. Most often they're in it, and they're dumping it on you. A man will be fully in a beta frame when he succumbs to guilt and self pity, and she'll loathe you all the more for it. Instead, understanding what pain is, how it works and how to deal with it, opens the door to true abundance and freedom. And when you hold frame in your own pain, she'll have to snap out of hers eventually.

INTRO - The Problem

I picked this one right out of the FB comments of an activist involved with #metoo, to show what women really feel about beta behaviours : "... Men and boys are not required to hate themselves. Shame and self-hate don’t help anyone else. They don’t make you a better person, or a better man, or even a better fuck. In fact, more often than not, hating yourself gets in the way of exactly the sort of rapid positive change we need right now. We’ve all met people who are so enamored by their own self-loathing that it’s actually pretty difficult to talk to them about small everyday things they might have got wrong. They’re so invested in thinking that they are a bad person that they are unable to become a better one.

Self-hatred makes people selfish. It deserves compassion, but not indulgence. Women — and I’m sorry to have to break this to you — are not put on this earth to make men feel better about how inherently awful they are. Most of us would prefer the men in our lives to stop wallowing and get on with being a little bit more considerate than they were yesterday, because that is what it means to grow the fuck up ..."

Let's ignore her "advice", take a step back, and see what's really going on. "Inherently awful" -- sums up what she really thinks about betas in a nutshell. So much so that she finds helping them repulsive. If it were an alpha that she looks up to, he'd be "Inherently great".

Think about that the next time your girlfriend or SO wants you to feel sorry. If you're thinking that a show of guilt and tears and repentance and apologies have convinced her to respect you -- please, think again. And if you think women can help you and advise you properly on how to be a man, think again. This woman practically admitted she is disgusted to fix a beta with poor self esteem and weakness - it's not her job. The takeaway - Women find betas inherently awful, stay disgusted by betas even when they're trying to improve - the very idea is repulsive to them. They give more BP advice to men who don't get it - as though subconsciously desiring to weed them out.

A switch needs to flip in her perception before she can start respecting you.

Women also don't quite get the idea of a man that is made and forged from zero. They care only about the finished product and feel that what they see is how it has always been. It's almost like a magic show - the audience doesn't know how hard the magician worked to get it right.

PART 2 - Solution

So let's look at dealing with pain as men should. If you've ever watched a Navy Seals training video, this one phrase is most often repeated by the instructor, "Stop feeling sorry for yourself." -- every time he feels a recruit's mind is beginning to slip. You feeling pity and sorry for yourself matters nothing to a woman who's only feeling rage to you and in that moment only wants validation for her rage. My own ex wanted me to apologize all the time over and over because it validated her ego again and again, but every apology increased her contempt for me further and further.

And while this woman's doing this, she just made no secret of her utter contempt of beta behaviours and men's displays of weak emotions and the fact that she needs to tell men how to be men. No, she wants a strong man who'll do what is naturally masculine -- i.e. self improvement. But she can't define that and walk you through the door. She can only react to it. And nope, women aren't here to make you feel better (at least make beta men feel better). Love and hate seem to turn the same woman into two different personalities with two different frames and sets of beliefs and choice of words and behaviours. Her emotions are that powerful.

And speaking of pain, here are a few pointers on dealing with pain, from my own experience :

When in pain, she ain't looking for reasons or apologies. Her only reality that moment is pain and that's all she wants - to seethe in it. If you've read Eckhart Tolle's concept of the Pain Body (ok I'm going elsewhere for just a sec, but the man's made a very significant point), an important take away you'll observe is that when she's in pain, all she wants to do is to inflict more pain in return and she just wants an opening. That's why apologizing very rarely works once she's worked up. John Gray described the same phenomenon when he talked about "Women are like waves".

Nothing triggers and keeps a woman inside her pain and negative emotions like betas do. That's in fact why women find the ideas of betas improving very repulsive at an emotional level. And this - very few things in life will trigger a man's pain the way women do, especially when women are in pain.

Pain is what keeps a person's mind restless for some sort of stimulation or the other when the mind could just relax and be at ease when it's not needed. Pain is what drives procrastination, distraction. Every pleasure addiction you can think of (all of which fall under beta behaviours) - video games, TV, the internet, drugs, alcohol, porn -- every one of them is an attempt to numb this pain that stops the mind of a man from being at ease. In other words, not being at ease, is a disease (that's the meaning of the word!!)

When a woman is in her pain, nothing that you do is gonna help. Doing won't work. If a man isn't alert and aware of what's happening, he will be sucked into her frame. Your job then, is to get out of your own pain and touch the dimension of being -- the zone.

In fact one of the best things one can ever do for alpha-ness and holding frame as a man is to be aware of this pain arising in yourself and avoid getting lost in your emotions. That's how stoicism fundamentally works. This is also part of the reason why a strong man can snap a woman out of her hissy fits. It puts you consciously in the driver's seat of your own mind. Only snapping out of your own pain can allow her to enter into your frame, which in turn gets her out of her own pain.

When pain has loosened it's grip, one can sit in peace needing none of the addictions - the need for drama is gone. That's when your mental potential is finally truly free - free to stop feeling sorry and angry at yourself, living the victim life, chasing happiness and convincing yourself all the time that you're not happy, and giving you the inner freedom to push yourself to your limits and beyond. Now doing 'unpleasant' stuff isn't a problem for you, cause you know you can be just fine without the dopamine drip. Now you're free to do anything. At this point, you don't really need that hose anymore, so you become more outcome independent. This is the foundation for true abundance.

And by the way, this FB comment is not from America, it's from India. The whole country is lit up like a signboard on google search results stats for metoo and harassment in the past few days - there's more metoo going on in every state and city there than the rest of the world combined and virtually everyone from politicians to that guy next door is facing #TimesUp. It's almost like the country's overrun with betas and a lot of men preying on women in any subordinate position, and even children and minors, both genders!

And the truth is, that in conservative countries, most of the men WILL be beta or even gamma - with very poor understanding of the game of attraction. They will try to get their needs met through very covert ways that will creep women out and which, if you know what abuse is like or have at least read about it, cause severe pain and trauma to whoever's at the receiving end. If there was ever a reason to be alpha, it's the sheer pain and fuck ups that beta behaviours bring into your own life, and the lives of everyone else in your life. These guys really are cowards underneath that Nice Guy facade. The SJWs therefore have unlimited fuel to keep their imperatives burning, and won't stop until all these betas and gammas are weeded out.

A lot of my friends have written to me also -- and it was always a case of Nice Guy facade covert contract, abuse of power and beta and gamma game involved.

Beta men have no way of dealing with pain or finding healthy ways to fulfil their needs, therefore they end up creating more and more of pain, until eventually the women enter into a frame of pain themselves (this is what's going on underneath feminism). To be alpha means getting past pleasure and pain, and in the presence of alpha behaviour, the women enter into a frame where they can be feminine again. Even at the global level, women enter into your frame and behave accordingly.

If anything, this is yet another example of why Nice guys aren't really so nice or why religious societies are a hotbed of hushed up sex scandals. The contempt for these nice guy betas when their sexuality comes out in disturbing fashion can be felt like a physical object.

And this is double caution for people in conservative countries - while acting old fashioned on the outside, a lot of stuff happens covertly (just like the Nice Guy issues spoken of by Dr. Glover). Attraction proceeds in stages, skip any and you're in for trouble. A man has to be direct, and he must develop abundance and shrug off failures and rejections, instead of wallowing in rage and pity. Text game is a waste of time and a dangerous game in conservative societies, even if it's your GF, when she's turned against you, every word you write can and would be used against you down the road. And if she's really fallen for you, she must be the one writing the dirty talk, far more than you. Your silent action as an alpha is more powerful than a million words of a beta.

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[–]Saun522 81 points82 points  (6 children)

The problem is that deep down their blue pill conditioning means that most people enjoy being the victim. Which gives then little motivation to stop feeling sorry for themselves

[–]SKRedPill[S] 58 points59 points  (2 children)

One day being the victim won't be an option. I think every man who ever swallowed the pill found that out.

[–]MyReddit6 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Please highlight this ^ also goes nice with something you wrote "I am in the driver's seat of my mind" goes great with my mantra when I feel my mental state & emotions slipping "I am in control of my thoughts"

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I am in the driver's seat of my mind"

No matter how strait the gate/ How charged with punishments the scroll/ I am the master of my fate/ I am the captain of my soul

[–]RedOnArrival 29 points30 points  (2 children)

they enjoy being the victim because being a victim removes any possibility of “success” (by definition, i can’t achieve X because of Y, where Y is the result of someone else’s actions).

therefore, they have no obligation to succeed because in their mind, success is out of their control, lifting the obligation to do the hard work and, more importantly, the fear of failure, which in today’s special snowflake society is the absolute worst thing that could happen to you, cuz then maybe you aren’t such a special snowflake after all.

[–]1SirKolbath 9 points10 points  (1 child)

They enjoy being the victim also because it is the easy path and absolves them of any responsibility for their own fuckups.

I’ve taught self defense for over twenty years. I tell my students constantly, “You can’t be a victim unless you want to be. If you’re fighting back, you’re not a victim.” It’s about taking charge of your own destiny. Someone might kill me on the way home from work tonight, but as god is my witness I’ll be the most expensive piece of meat he ever butchered. (Hat tip to the esteemed author Christopher Bunch in the Sten series.)

Being a victim means they are being acted upon instead of acting. It’s not their fault they didn’t have the grades for scholarships; they didn’t have good teachers. It’s not their fault. They’d be rich instead of stuck working 9-5 in a cubicle but “that manager hates me.” They’d have fucked that hot girl, “But she was a stuck up bitch who only wanted to fuck douchebags.” It’s not their fault they’re fat. They had fat parents and they have big bones and besides curves!

And so on. Being a victim is easy. Taking responsibility is so hard you can use it as a goddamn anvil.

[–]i4mn30 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so fucking true. I can relate to most of your allegations in the last paragraph to myself from 3-4 yrs ago. The manager and the hot bitch part. The fat part though - even back then, I knew it was totally on me for not taking care of myself. All through college I didn't join a gym or run or do any shit that would make me not a fat fuck.

It really is easy to blame external factors. Either you make up excuses or get your shit done. No middle ground. Thus, if you have a goal, and are not working towards it every damn day like clockwork, you've got excuses, not external problems hampering you.

Studying for govt exams while your parents are in the middle of separation ? People and police coming to your house for the obvious? Responsibilities loading up on you as now you are the man of the house? Shouldn't be a problem, you still gotta study hard. The exam committee isn't going to give you special discount on score just because of your situation. Fuck you, you are not special. Keep being a snow flake and you'll be crushed soon.

Man the fuck up or die of depressive mood and laziness.

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel 49 points50 points  (5 children)

I used to be totally content just sitting there and feeling sorry for myself. Of course I hated it, but I thought it made me unique.. "No one else understands me, and how much I'm suffering."

Fuck that.

You should be able to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and carry on and allow your pain to make you stronger. It's ok to feel pain, in fact it's necessary to feel pain. Pain is one of the things that makes life worth living. Use your pain to drive your progress. The more you learn to work through pain, the more pain you'll be able to stand and work through and all of a sudden, you can handle whatever life throws at you. I'd seen a counselor for years in and after high school, and while not necessarily necessary for everyone, everyone could benefit from it. I'll always be an advocator of therapy. Having the tools to help myself is my most valuable asset in my eyes.

Great post.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Pain can keep sending you into an endless spiral resulting in apathy or worse. Some guidance can be very helpful.

[–]6ix_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I could google it but I value the opinion of people here more: how do you go about finding the right counselor?

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trial and error I guess. I got kind of lucky, my high school made me go see one when I got in trouble with drugs, and she specialized in drug addiction. I saw her for as long as was required then stopped. A year later I saw a different one, and liked him, but wasn't really feeling it, then I saw another, wasn't really feeling it. So I went back to the original woman I saw and I've been seeing her for years now. She changed my life. I still talk to her even though I moved, maybe once a month or so we'll skype. Do some research, find a couple counsellors that maybe specialize in family relations, or addiction, or whatever you think would help you. Feel free to shop around.

[–]Hyper_Sonik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment just made me realize how I am in that state of feeling like "no one understands what I've been through" Almost like you're waiting for someone to come a long and relieve the burden.
Wow....this is something I have to work on...

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 46 points47 points  (4 children)

I used to believe #metoo was full of shit, until I started peering into the lives of more attractive women. One girl I've been seeing has a blood relative that's jelly. He asks about our sex. Every time I hang out with her and he finds out, he calls her a million times back-to-back, she's had to block him on messaging apps. She doesn't answer his calls, at least not when I'm around. She looks at his name on her phone with disgust.

One neighbor sits at the building steps waiting for women to pass by and make remarks. Another stares at her as she walks up the stairs and knocked on her door at 3am to see "if everything is okay" (apparently he tries to talk to her a lot and go outside when she does). That guy tried to have a elongated conversation under the guise of concern. Didn't work I was there to tell her to shut the door on his dumbass.

When she works or goes to clubs with her friends (the kind with $35 cover charges), men with money straight up say they should "date" and they will take her shopping. She blocked one of these guys. Then later, that guy got her number from someone else and called her asking why she hasn't been answering.

This is just a taste and only one perspective. Can't imagine the beta hoards that come in through social media or when we're not around. Well actually I can, a girl let me see her text messages inbox (300 unread) and skype convos, a beta male pussy begging graveyard. Sexual harassment is a beta male phenomenon. Sometimes it's not a 'beta', it's a man whose cool with the guys then goes all desperate, try hard, and indirect sneaky nice guy (bad game) with the ladies. You'd be amazed what a 'nice guy' does when he doesn't get what he feels he's entitled to in the covert contract. Beta and bad game = harassment.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Of late a lot of people have shared their horror stories to me from my circles. Betas and Omegas everywhere. Not a single alpha they can respect.

Covert behaviour IMHO is the consequence of an inability to handle the sexual dimension of a man like a boss or even create attraction in the first place, or read body language.

[–]standardmissile 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very true and very relevant. I think it's worth it's own post actually. Women, hot ones in particular, put up with all sorts of bizarre shit from desperate men of all ages and stations in life. Things that make me cringe and shake my head in disgust when they tell me, or show me DM's from their social media.

There was an old adage on MRP that most married women are rape victims, rationale being they're so turned off their beta husbands when he fucks them it's against their will. It may be an exagerration but I got a message from a married women the other. In between sending nudes, she told me she I want you to control me. I hate being in control and I'm in control all the time.

It's not deliberate but if you take the view women look to men to take responsibility for their state of mind (as this post suggests and I agree with) then these betas are actually inflicting pain on women by being such faggots.

that's why TRP is so important, it makes men and their women happier people.

[–]Kink3 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Obviously not asktrp but how do you stand out in a mass of 300 unread messages?

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For women like that, you need proximity to be on her mind through all that noise. A life that makes you cross paths in person once a week or more. Their schedules are always full. Mr Text On A Screen has lowest priority even when attractive.

[–]BlackTemplar1989 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Holy shit, the part with the pain body and the will to inflict more pain really hit home. Big gem of wisdom you shared here.

I now feel bad for making jokes about street shiting in india in the past.

[–]systemshock869 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Jokes about street shitting in San Francisco are still totally on though

[–]TheWhiskeyTickler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bonus points if it references used needles too

[–]TRP_mask 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I disagree with this post on a certain level. Of course it portrays you as weak if you show that you're in pain, but sucking all this up and not letting it out is something we're not made for. What helps is a few people you can let yourself go with, without suffering consequences. Family would be best, or some of your best friends. I have a main friend group of 3 people and some others often coming with, but we 3 can be very open to each other without being afraid to feel weak because we know each other quite well and we all have our problems. We often forget about it after a glass of beer anyway. You can also let it out on your own, but it just helps talking to someone. Just pick the right people. Unless you're fully redpilled chad of course, who can just shutdown all his thoughts and emotions.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Not sucking it up. True stoicism is about awakening to a more powerful presence within. If a man needs to vent, the only true person who can help him is another man.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 68 points69 points  (11 children)

This is a Blue Pill disguised as well-meaning advice. Don't swallow this shit.

The clue is in the wording:

Women — and I’m sorry to have to break this to you — are not put on this earth to make men feel better about how inherently awful they are.

Men are inherently awful, are we? I guess it's easy to say that when electricity, running water, heat, gas, roadways, satellites, and the internet have just worked all your life.

Most of us would prefer the men in our lives to stop wallowing and get on with being a little bit more considerate

And once again, it's all about what women stand to gain, not about what men stand to gain from finding a real inner sense of self-worth. Your value is measured only in how it translates to benefit for women.

Get your own life in order before you start worrying about other people. You cannot be generous with your strength when you have nothing yet to give.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The quote isn't mine -- it's by an SJW. I just quoted that to show the loathing for beta men plus the bad BP advice they get - if anything it was to show how triggered they get that even talking about fixing a beta doesn't work.

The second part of it is to recognize what's happening at an emotional level and how we should deal with it.

I will make an edit to my post.

[–]chaseemall 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I think OP is pointing out that radfems are disgusted by how much beta males hate themselves, to the point that they (of all people) are trying to make betas less disgusting.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I think OP is pointing out that radfems are disgusted

This isn't news. Radfems are disgusted by everything. It's the basis of their whole schitck.

And frankly, no one here gives a flying wet shit what disgusts them. They're not offering anything for our attention on the matter.

to the point that they (of all people) are trying to make betas less disgusting.

Radfems spend all their time talking, and no time listening or observing. They have nothing of value to offer up in this discussion. They can be safely disregarded, as was always the case.

[–]Prismatic8 8 points9 points  (0 children)

you didn't read or understand the post

[–]SKRedPill[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Inherently awful is how women find betas. Inherently great is how they see alphas. It's like the idea of improvement doesn't matter. All that matters is the finished product in that moment.

I have edited my post to present it better and avoid misunderstanding.

[–]666Evo -4 points-3 points  (4 children)

I picked this one right out of the FB comments of an activist involved with #metoo

This was the giveaway for me. We're taking advice from radfem activists now?

[–]SKRedPill[S] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

No we are not. In case you didn't observe, Rollo does the same thing, he finds an issue, then dissects it. I'm just using that as an example to show that women can't fix your problems for you and are disgusted at the idea of helping betas improve.

The second issue I wanted to highlight is the concept of dealing with pain and how people think and feel when they're full of it. Weak emotions before women just make it worse. We need a better road where we can fix our pain and end up snapping women out of theirs.

[–]wendysNO1wcheese -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Try not to appeal to authority when defending yourself.

I think you could of done without the first part which includes what radfems think. I understand and can get on board with the rest. There's a lot of filler in there, but I appreciate the input. Overall it's something to think about.

Don't feel sorry for yourself all the time. It's fine to analyze where you fucked up, be pissed about, and move on to fixing it. Just don't dwell on the shit and let it screw up your daily routine/goals.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sadly, this isn't just a red fem. Any woman has these exact same thoughts about Betas. Fems are just people for whom this emotional state is a permanent feature.

> And once again, it's all about what women stand to gain, not about what men stand to gain from finding a real inner sense of self-worth. Your value is measured only in how it translates to benefit for women.

Feelings of "love" hide the cold blooded selfish truths of relationships, until those feelings pass and the reality hits. And if a man is a beta, a woman really can't see him as anything other than a utility for her benefit - betas are totally disposable . It will always be true, even if you're an alpha. It's just not so apparent as it is to a beta.

Unless that man is her own child, maybe.

[–]1SirKolbath 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dissection of an opposing argument to show its flaws and hypocrisy is not “taking advice” from that argument. It is literally the foundation of rebuttal.

[–]wendysNO1wcheese -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Came to the comments to point out this exact wording.

[–]wholewheatdirtydog 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Great post man 👍 when I feel any of these emotions I just walk away and vent them out in private

[–]novalentineforyou 10 points11 points  (0 children)

attraction proceeds in stages

What are these stages?

Also, how many long term relationships do you have experience with?

[–]RedPill2018 3 points4 points  (3 children)

If a man isn't alert and aware of what's happening, he will be sucked into her frame

This weekend I went out with a girl who has had a rough past along with her friends being "depressed". About a week or two ago, I was on such a natural high. Life was just great. It was beautiful. I have never done any drugs, but I believe that drugs can't compare to that high as I was just so happy to be doing/accomplishing things (waking up early, gym, meditation, doing well in school, etc.) in which I was super happy.

Recently (week or so now), I have been a bit "sad" as a result of some news I've heard along with some new realizations-- I've been dealing with my problems and what not, but with this girl, I felt emotionally drained after being with her for the weekend. Would you say that it is accurate to say that I felt so drained because I entered her frame along with others around me who weren't as happy/excited for life as me? I would find myself listening to more "sad" music instead of the upbeat music I was listening to after being around them, as that is what they listen to, etc.

[–]1New_Guard 5 points6 points  (1 child)

One of my good friends and I have talked about this a lot. In relations with women, we trade attention for sex. If she's emotionally unstable (which they basically all are), the attention she needs is for you to help stabilize her. In order to do that, you have to empathize with her negative emotions. And in doing so, it's hard not to have them affect you at least a little bit.

Men may manipulate women to get sex out of them, but women manipulate us to get our emotional energy. It's almost always a drain. Don't spend too much time with her - it's always her reward to get to spend time with you, because you're the one who's giving your energy. Cleanse yourself from her influence regularly by spending protected, quality time with yourself or with your friends without letting her interrupt via your phone.

[–]RedPill2018 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks bro. This exactly what I was telling myself I need to do.

I plan on spending some quality time alone this weekend as I have been being so social the past few weeks.

Appreciate the comment.

[–]moltenw 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your environment definitely has an impact on you, and if you dont have a strong enough frame, it will slowly consume you.

First you say "I'll just order a pizza today instead of making my own meal, after all, I've been disciplined for SO long, how bad can it be?"

Then you go "My friend is back in town, and I could go meet him when my gym session starts. Yeah, I'll do that, after all, I've been going to every single one for the past month, it wont matter if I just skip 1, right?"

And so it begins. And im not saying you cant have exceptions, but be veery careful, because before you know it, you are back to your old bad habits. The safer route truly is to ignore those urges, and as we all know, the next day we don't even feel them or care about them anymore, but in the moment, it can get quite daunting to get past them.

[–]hixidom 3 points4 points  (5 children)

My gf has an impulsive rage issue. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the article, which I enjoyed btw, but I haven't been able to find any reaction that de-escalates the situation.

What usually happens is I object to her reaction to something and she insults me and things escalate because now I feel stripped of dignity. She screamed like an insane person and hit me last time this happened, and I was just calmly explaining my position. I clammed up for days, thinking she might associate the negative reaction with her behavior. However, my thinking now is that retroactive punishment won't do anything. The impulse has to be somehow quenched before it escalates, because her senseless feeding into it is the real problem. I don't see any way of quenching without saving my piece for 20 minutes until she's cooled down and taking minor verbal abuse in the meantime, I just feel like that isn't enough and I don't know what the next step toward progress is.

If I could just say the right thing to get her out of her own ego in that moment, then I would be able to reward her for it with love and retrain how she deals with the impulse. If anyone can provide advice or helpful sources I would much appreciate it.

I first took this to the Relationships sub btw. Locked comments on post, harassment from mods, etc.

[–]1New_Guard 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Impulsive rage in a woman is a hard no. Dump her immediately. Screen the next one much more carefully, and manage her so something like this never develops in your life again.

[–]Razkolol 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You got insulted/screamed at and hit by your gf? And you're hamstering some bullshit about how you should react with kindness? Read the sidebar. Your relationship is near its conclusion, she has no respect for you anymore, it's only a matter of time before she finds a new guy and breaks up. Best course of action is to instill dread in her (assuming for some reason you want to stay in that relationship). You do this by working out/having stuff going on in your life/ working on your career or side hustle/ improving overall in all areas of your life. Then when she throws some tantrum you just leave for a few hours and ignore any calls/messages you might get. Come back like nothing happened. (Assuming you're living with her, if not just soft next her for a week or two).

[–]SKRedPill[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Are all of you first time visitors here? Read the sidebar!! Read the resources in asktrp, and mrp and a lot of the good books.

If I could just say the right thing to get her out of her own ego in that moment, then I would be able to reward her for it with love and retrain how she deals with the impulse. If anyone can provide advice or helpful sources I would much appreciate it.

Just how BP are you? Ok. Tell you what. I've been there in your place, I know I can't fight pathology. The purpose of presence is to bring you into the zone, which if you've seen athletes, suddenly causes their abilities to turn into magic - everything they do in that state seems to work far better than normal. They are never more outcome independent than when they don't give two fucks about whether they'll win or lose - that's when they play freely.

First of all, let go of any particular outcome to a relationship, forget about that voice in the head and everything it feels and thinks and look at stuff as it is. Ask yourselves if this shit is what any of you would tolerate from any other person. How would you want others to treat you? Then filter out every one who doesn't treat you as they should.

Accept the ugly facts of your relationship whether it's worth saving or if it's already died a long time ago and give up your resistance to it. You might then wake up to the reality that you should have pulled out a long time ago. Accept that and do it. I did. It wasn't easy. Then, spend some time looking at the guy in the mirror - you'll notice your own problems were what kept you in a reality where they attracted and pretty much guaranteed more suck for you in everything. Fixing yourself is the first step to fixing everything around you. What you are is what you create.

If you can't get out of your own dysfunction, you can do nothing about getting any one else out of theirs. You can't save anyone who really doesn't want to be saved, so at least wake up and save yourself first. That road ain't easy, but only when you're done with pleasure and pain and only think about what you really need is when you've manned up for good.

[–]webleytempest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get out of there immediately. You cannot reason with her.

[–]ShotgunTRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You walk away and do not engage

You leave the house, if you can’t do this you go to a different room and lock the door.

After her hormones have calmed down. In as calm a possible manner you tell her “if you ever do [xyz] again, we are no more.” You then leave again and go do something important while she processes what’s happening

If you aren’t prepared to walk away from bad behaviour she will never respect you and will walk all over you

[–]Prismatic8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of the best posts in a long time. However not easy to understand. I guess that's why there are mixed reactions. Especially the comment of HumanSockPuppet is disappointing since he clearly didn't understand your post.

I agree with everything that is written here! Great Breakdown!

+1 for OP please!

[–]SirKromsu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is why I fucking love this community. Keep on dropping truths, amazing read.

[–]btharmony 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Could you shed some light on dealing with physical pain (i.e.: a chronic injury). For instance, I messed up my back and have been injured for a year, gained weight, and have chronic pain symptoms that i have tried time and time again to "suck up", but cannot physically ignore.

How do I suddenly attain or strengthen my frame to the point where it once was when I was in the gym lifting daily and looking and feeling like my best self?

This has clearly impacted my frame and I wonder what a man can do in such a scenario where he is dealing with physical pain like a chronic injury, critical medical condition, etc.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try this for motivation : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbRxXPmgLe4

You can't ignore the pain, you can only accept it and work through it and with it. But the less you start resisting, the more possibilities open up.

And never lift with improper form. Ever. Even when injured, watch that diet, because that's 80% of staying lean.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't disagree with any of this at all - but pay attention to how the main reason that women hate self-loathing guys, is because it takes attention of of said women - first and foremost!

It's not the loathing they despise, it's the fact that guys hog all the attention in the process. We can't have that! Great post.

[–]orangebudd[🍰] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This was a good post. I have just read Eckhard's book on that and its a eye opener, the book will let you understand emotions and what cause them to expand.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been reading a lot of books by men writing about what it's like at the very limit - Navy Seals and Ultramarathon Runners, as well as guys who got out of the couch and became among the fittest men ever - at one point it is really about being in the here and now as much as possible, just the next step, just that next pushup - every now and then they hit the zone and that's when they seem to find a new level. A whole bunch of here and nows later and then there's the finish line. These are the best examples of masculine energy you can find.

Being in the present moment is literally the only thing that allows them to go through such hell. Painful, but strangely extremely satisfying to read. It's almost like a spiritual experience. These guys are so much at the limit that even a few thoughts of the mind drifting elsewhere and starting to worry and doubt is enough to get them to quit, and they're doing everything possible to just be in the moment rather than allow their minds to overwhelm them. They all talk about how every limiting concept seemed to shatter when they realized what they were capable of.

Personally I think that's the reason why they're ultimately seeking such intensity, apart from the achievement of doing the impossible.

[–]1studentsensei 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Good read.

I usually tell women who are having relationship issues to "let their man be a man."

Women hate seeing their men or boys make bad decisions or be wrong because their father jumped in for them at every turn (generally) but what they don't understand is that men are forged in fire. Period.

Also I think we can all relate to what that woman posted. No man here would like the idea of having to "train" someone to be attractive 24/7 like a woman would have to with a beta or a chump.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women hate seeing their men or boys make bad decisions or be wrong because their father jumped in for them at every turn (generally) but what they don't understand is that men are forged in fire. Period.

No one likes to be wrong. But while women absolutely hate anything going wrong, men really have to work through it and swallow the bitter pills of mistakes to grow - especially when dealing with the unknown.

What people think is magic is a skill comes from experience and a lot of failures and pushing the limits. And those mistakes will come with consequences - no way out of that. Men recognize that people get better and better and accept this more easily than women. That's producer vs consumer logic.

Problem is, a growing man isn't a finished product.

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[–]SKRedPill[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Then you really need to know about the pain body and the power of presence. It worked for me and still does.

[–]Emwonk2 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thanks. Where do I find this information.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)



I'm not here preaching spirituality, but sometimes as a man what is true for the woman is also what is true for the nature of life. This is a powerful method of holding frame and stoicism which can work anywhere. Actually what got me interested in it was when Eckhart tolle described the pain body as responsible for a lot of the irrational behaviour of women and the failure of most relationships.

He also excellently described the way egos work.

[–]Mukato 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Excellent write up here. I work with hundreds of HB1 Indian engineers of both genders and the sexual abuse by those in power is obvious, but no one speaks about it for fear of being called resists and being told it is just part of their culture.

[–]Camp_KillYourself 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I know we're all "alpha and all" but there are proven benefits to therapy provided you have an adequate therapist.

[–]DiscipleBrown 2 points3 points  (2 children)

An adequate male therapist

[–]Camp_KillYourself 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, preferably. There is no shame in recognizing you have issues you have to sort out and having someone there to work through these would be a major help. It may seem "not alpha" to bring up your weakness...but we all have flaws and the longer you choose to not get through them they fester...They have seen a lot of things - and if it puts you on the right track and you deal with them and never get depression and anxiety again, isn't that a good thing in the end?

[–]Eckersley01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An adequate RedPill therapist

[–]DancesWithPugs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What worked for me was tha tevery time I felt self pity, I had to go life or do pushups. Two birds, one stone. Building my discipline up was more important than the physical strength. Muscular arms and legs will offset a lot of other SMV deficiencies.

[–]wss5112 1 point2 points  (1 child)

To be more simply put, I’m guessing if what you said can be constructed to mean the following:

Women are looking for those who can make them feel better (because they naturally suck themselves in the pain and grief). Women therefore hate betas because betas tend not be able to handle the shitstorm (that’s why it comes the use of shit test). Because alphas have more important things to concern with (jobs, status, wealth etc), these put together a strong frame that give women the feeling of security that they can handle shit.

That’s why alpha wins.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be an alpha, you must learn to handle pain and pleasure. If you know how pain works, if you open your eyes and look, practically everyone around will be in it far more than you can imagine.

Women in pain are a curious mish mash of their pain wanting to fill the world up with more pain and at the same time they expect you not to get dragged in that yourself. The assumption is that a man can handle pain better (or at least seems to make his life look pain free in comparison). These are some of the nuances behind statements like "Don't take her too seriously."

There comes a time in every man's life where swallowing the pill is not an option anymore - I've reached that point sometime back. Painful as it is, it's the best thing that can happen for himself and everyone else in his life.

[–]SirByron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do you even need her then? All she is an emotional leach, what is she good for besides sex and cooking?

[–]Churningaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dealing with pain is one of the best benefits of swallowing TRP. It provides you a framework with dealing with your emotions. TRP teaches that it's ok to have emotions, feel every emotion, love, hate, fear - they're all ok. Human. Normal.

But, it's important to tame them and at the top of your mental hierarchy it needs to be Logic, not emotion. Logic and rational thought, the basis of stoicism and the basis for progress is what provides us control over our emotions. I always knew this, even when I was in blue pill hell. It can be a life changing / saving advice for some people

[–]Scandinavianredpill 0 points1 point  (3 children)

so you need to be alert and aware?

"Doing won't work. If a man isn't alert and aware of what's happening, he will be sucked into her frame".

Or just naturally stop being a pussy that gets run over by.. well another pussy.

All most of you guys do all day is analyse analyse analyse. Get out of your own fucking head and start doing something. Ironically the more you try not to be a beta the more beta you become. Paralysis by analysis. I find that it's good to take notice of your mistakes and even better other peoples mistakes, but there is a point to which analysis is healthy and a point at which it is too much. Most of you guys go too far.

[–]SKRedPill[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

So how do you deal with a crying toddler? Get sucked into that? Or take them that seriously and fail trying to appease or apologize to them? Trying to solve a woman's issues when she's taken over by pain doesn't work - you need to snap her out of that. You surrendering to her pain never works, because then her pain now owns the interaction.

Take it from a guy who's been there and seen that.

Besides, then why is this place needed?

[–]Scandinavianredpill 1 point2 points  (1 child)

oh god, reminds me why i don't frequent this autism infested place anymore. The improvement part of TRP is spot on, the way women work is spot on. The solutions here are retarded. The solution is to become the best version of yourself. No shortcut. If you actually had half decent testosterone level and got something going for you, your mind wouldn't be where it's at trying to guess every move as it pertains to women. Waste of mental energy. Improve yourself and accept how women are, the rest of the advice in here is pretty much bullshit.

You get the right behaivor pattern from fixing your beliefs and toptuning your body and your priorities. You don't get it by overanalysing everything the opposite gender does. The right behavior here being the one that gets you respect from guys and get you laid. Women want to be with a winner, focus on being a winner and everything else will follow naturally.

And being a winner usually means that you provide more value than you extract, the opposite of what most guys here think. It's having experience and having other men follow your advice, it's from having success. It's having control over your body and have principles that speak rather than your mouth.

[–]OMGtothemoon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm getting my tonsils taken out in a couple months and I'm prepared to suffer in silence in front of the LTR. It's gonna suck being on pain killers and not being able to eat and talk well but I know not to show any sign of pain or complain at all.